Bottom advice

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>>8296812

specifically, what do you have around the house.

also what are you eating?

>>8296812
A high fiber diet would help, but you won't see results by tomorrow night. Eat light during the day, and when you shower use some gentle face soap to lean your ass (finger yourself). That's what I do and 99% of the time there's no problem.

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>>8296819
I have a squirt type water bottle I was thinking about using. I am not gonna shave, I have done it before and it sucks when it starts growing back.

>>8296819
Oh I forgot, I am eating a low carb diet of meat and salads. I don't eat lot throughout the day. I just snack all day.

>>8296969
>This guy ran out country for 8 years
So what? So did Obama.

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>>8296969

If you're worried about stinking up the joint with farts, pop some simethicone, it's dirt cheap. Or just roll with it, RL anal sex isn't what's portrayed in teh pornz. Just laugh it off and if he's a consummate top, he'll understand.

Use warm water with your squirty thing. Anything with harsh chemicals will dry out your boy pussy.

Also what >>8296865 said

Don't forget to post pics over on /hm/

>>8296865
>when you shower use some gentle face soap to lean your ass (finger yourself)
Do this, but just use soap on your finger AFTERWARDS, not during... soap burns as a lubricant

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>>8296983
I just put up that pic cause I love Bush. I want him back, he was probably the funniest President other than Trump. Obama was boring and dull. I want a President that rubs people the wrong way, that's how you know they are doing their job.

>>8296996
What kind of pics are you talking about my friendo?

>>8296983
It's hard to believe anyone could be worse than Bush but Obama managed it.

I was really worried Trump was gonna go full retard too but this intelligence-sharing with the Russians is spectacular news. Finally some sense from DC.

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>>8297009

>What kind of pics are you talking about my friendo?

>>8297006
No. Use it in the shower. Face cleaner like Cetaphil is very gentle and won't burn. I use it to clean my asshole almost every morning (never know when it will be used). But yes, not meant as a lube, gentle or not.

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>>8297015
How do you like me with my top off , senpai?

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>>8297117

nice, now show me that axle.

>>8296812
My only advice is to ditch that guy and come over to my place. I have an air hockey table and I'm like a real life version of Jon Favreau from Chef so you know you're in for a good time.

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>>8297166
Here is my rear end!

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>>8297173
Do you live in the Kansas City area?

>>8297166
how many BTC for a BJ?

>>8297246
are those skidmarks on the backside???

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>>8297667
What, don't you like how dirty I am?

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>>8297667
Lemme show you how naughty I am.

Check out this crossthreaded spark plug baby!

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>>8297888
Ohh my own trips are turning me on! Just look at how it's making me smile.

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>>8297246
>>8297879
>>8297888
>>8297899

You want me inside you, don't you?

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>>8297919
Yes, just put yourself in side me. But you gotta know how to handle my stick, and make sure to drive me hard. I love it rough and dirty. Take me down a gravel road and give me a good old fashioned flogging.

>>8296812
All self described tops just want you to dominate them anyhow.

Push him down, eat his ass, and fuck him.

If shit gets everywhere, force him to eat it

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>>8297987
See the thing is I don't eat ass and I don't think I really want to. I have no problem being a power bottom however, I just have never done so. I think being a power bottom would be the kind of bottom I would want to be.