Asexual General - /acegen/

>>8295173
>Do you experience a lack of sexual attraction as described here http://imgur.com/pdIxHYc ? Welcome home.
Link is very unclear.

>>8295251
Yep. You can't expect us to have an excellent resource desu. I mean you can but we probably shouldn't be the ones to pick one out seeing as we can't really say or better yet, dspict what it should look like

Maybe this is the right place to ask for advice.

So I'm about 90% certain my husband is ace. Today I was sitting on the bed after undressing and like always it was just kinda nothing, so I said to him that I think he might be asexual and he kinda said "You know I never thought about it like that." I was just expecting him to deny it but he actually feels like the idea is valid. We've had sex only twice since we started dating 8 years ago, and he said it was really for me and not him as much.

So

What do I do? Where is the middle ground? I can't just have a FWB or something because he feels like that's wrong to him which I guess is fair but then what? I don't know if I can really just be like WELL I GUESS I DON'T NEED THAT EVER LOL. We barely even cuddle. I just hoped that eventually I could coax him into being into it but nothing has ever worked and I'm tired of trying. I love him so much but it's also so lonely and unfulfilling feeling.

>>8295507
>We barely even cuddle.
It didn't occur to you this might be a problem in all the years of dating before you married him?

>>8295520
It's always been a problem, I just never wanted to (and still don't want to) give up. I felt like maybe if I just gave him time things would settle in. I love everything about who he is, he's such a sweetheart and a joy to be around even when we're quietly sitting there doing our own things. For the most part this isn't a huge issue but every so often I'll really want it and get depressed over knowing that it's not returned. Which then makes him feel guilty and it's just a disaster.

I was hoping maybe some of you have had this happen or can help me find a middle ground, it's hard to see it his way. I respect that he's not okay with me staying with him and just fulfilling that need with someone else, but that just leaves only one of us getting complete contentment. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about whether or not I can just...let go and accept it like that. I try sometimes, and sometimes it won't be an issue for months but it haunts me every so often or when I get low-key flirted with by friends.

>>8295507
>>8295569
It doesn't sound like he had an issue having sex, right? He just didn't care much and only did it for you? Have you tried just discussing about scheduling something every once in a while?

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Can anyone here tell me the difference between romantic love and platonic love for an asexual person?

>>8296590
Feelings are spooks

>>8295173
What the fuck do you guys have to talk about? You guys are literally and figuratively the most sexless part of the LGBT.

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Autism or a similar mental disorder represses sexuality resulting in the supposed "asexual" myth. It isn't a thing. Every dog has to eat. You shake a steak in front of its mouth for long enough and it will eventually cave. Asexuality doesn't exist

>>8300220
Non sequitur. Sexuality is unrelated to sex drive.

Or to go against your argument directly: put a naked woman in front of a homosexual man, will he cave? Or a naked man in front of a homosexual woman?

But whatever, think whatever you'd like. Doesn't matter. You're just shitposting anyway. I just wanted to bump the thread.

>>8300202
Frequently, we talk about what I just did. Should probably stop that though.

We can talk about sex, and have. It can be a problem in relationships, which are an excellent topic to talk about. You're welcome to participate, if you so choose.

>>8295173
>How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Pablito clavó un clavito, ¿qué clavito clavó Pablito?

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a9644122/aromantic-definition-meaning/
Cosmopolitan article for any aro lurkers. If only they could have gotten more than the three aromantic stereotypes to answer questions (the manipulative psychopath, the socially inept hermit crab, and the asshole with commitment issues).
Not ace related, but I figured if any general would care, it'd be this one.

>>8301943
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/q-and-a/a30581/sex-talk-realness-asexuality/
I suppose I should also link their matching asexual article.

>>8295507
Schedule. He's not repulsed by the idea and he's willing to do it for you, he just doesn't think much, or at all, about it. So you tell him that you'd like to do this thing he's not concerned about with approximmately that frequency, and plant it out. Imagine he has a hobby you don't share, but he likes being around you so you try and do it with him from time to time. It's like that.

This is why you don't get rid of all the shitposters. We're dying. LittleGuy pls come back. Bump.

Didn't these threads use to be somewhat active? It's not like there was just shitposters.

>>8304805
No, but the shitposters kept them going for longer, so we had more content per thread and an illusion of numbers.

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I just learned DC Comics has an ace superhero.

>>8305244
If she doesn't like rats, she's not /ourgirl/.

I'm chronically unhappy /acegen/ and it all comes down to being asexual. It really does something to a person's self-esteem when they haven't felt something for anyone in years.

I've tried experimenting with gay dudes which is nice enough, just not all that fun. I feel like I can't connect with anyone a deep enough level and this is beginning to crush me. Truthfully this has been crushing me for years now and I'm only realising it now. Being asexual is the worst curse you could place on someone.

Don't know why I'm posting my blog here. Do any of you have insight here?

>>8305927
That's aro, not ace. About the only remedy I know about is to go full on career mode, preferably in a field you find meaningful. You'll be distracted from your circumstance, able to connect with others at least on that level, and hopefully find actualisation in the work. In the one case I know about it was architecture.

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>>8305927
>I feel like I can't connect with anyone a deep enough level
It's just in your head, like being "asexual".

You are not limited the way you think you are.

It really just comes down to your own personal expectations of "fun" and feeling that "something" for someone.

>>8305927
I love my pets and food. Try that

>>8305927
Iktf. I basically live to go see the bands I like, I don't care that much about anything else.

>>8305927
I've never been in a relationship and probably won't be for a while, but I've found happiness in having good close friends, pets, and hobbies like biking, music, and drawing. I felt the exact way you described only a few years ago. dont worry too hard about finding a relationship right now, there is so much else that can make you happy too.

>>8306053
>>8306070
>>8306623
>>8307384
>>8309537
Thanks for all the helpful replies acenons. It's funny, the field I'm most interested in is landscape architecture. Too bad I'm soon to graduate in something entirely irrelevant...
To Wojakkah, I've thought a lot about that. It often feels like I sabotage my own chances all the time, that I'm the agent of my own misery. I have hobbies and great friends. I'm not lonely at all, there's just something missing and I don't know what.
I'm seeing a counselor soon about this. I don't know how much longer my self esteem can take this.

>tfw you first realized that most guys literally just think of women as things to try and have sex with because they get erections at the mere sight of women
>tfw your friends kept only talking about what girls they wanted to fuck and you can't relate at all so you stopped talking to them
I don't even identify as a feminist in a general political sense but it's really eye opening observing from the outside how some guys treat interacting with women as if it's a puzzle of saying the right words to magically end up having sex with them, rather than treating them like a normal human being. The fact they prioritize sex over an emotional relationship is confusing enough to me.

>>8309590
Don't act like women treat men as human beings either.

>>8309617
I guess that's true also, I've just got no first hand experience of seeing it.
It's pretty sad really how for so many people sex is the key motivator for interacting with people at all

>>8295173

This place is really gay

>>8309635
Or you didn't recognize it when you did see it. Women routinely treat men as accessories and walking wallets. This is deeply ingrained in our society.

>>8296590
I literally don't know
I have a best friend who I hug and care for deeply, and in some ways it feels like a relationship in the sense that I don't know how I would act any differently with a romantic partner - but at the same time, I don't want to do things like move in with him which I guess could be considered the more "outward" expectations of a romantic relationship.
Even if he was gay and exploring a romantic relationship was an option, I'm not sure I would want to - for various reasons (religious family etc) I don't see a long term gay relationship working out. He's my closest friend and I wouldn't want to risk losing him as a result of breaking up or whatever. I see him as being more valuable as a friend (which I guess is lower maintenance and less testing, therefore more stable) than a theoretical romantic partner where things are more likely to end - since in general friends are longer term, more stable and more reliable than partners (before marriage at least)

Does that make sense at all? I'm not even sure if that answers the question or not, I think I just explained the friendzone.

Taking sex/kissing out of the equation, what do you get from a romantic partner that you can't get from a best friend? I'm not really sure honestly. At that point it might even just be the psychological aspect of what you consider that person to be in your mind.

>>8296402
>>8302073
Well, I tried suggesting that. It didn't work. Apparently it has to be spur of the moment. Now if only spur of the moment was something I could rely on before I become dust.

Thanks for trying, all of you.

>>8310008
>Apparently it has to be spur of the moment
is that what he said?
It seems like a strange response considering that going by what you've said, that spur of the moment simply doesn't happen

>>8310035
Nope. I feel hopelessly depressed and a little bitter about this. The sad thing is that one of my coworkers told me that a couple of the bi girls there have huge crushes on me when I brought all this up. I'm open to her suggestion of just getting my cuddles from them, we're all good friends but my spouse would not be cool with that. I dunno why, not like he'd be missing anything afterall but I love him too much to want to do anything...

>>8310216
What's your communication like?
Because this is exactly the kind of thing I would think you should be telling him

I hate to be going into this territory but what was it that made you want to marry him? Does not getting sex or even cuddles change that? If you had known it would be like this, would you still have done it?

If these are serious issues for you then I think you need to be able to address it with him, because keeping pent up emotions is never a good idea

In Idaho we call them rockchucks

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>>8309710
I feel the same way about my best friend, and I love her, but I feel that I am unable to express my love to her because of normal social conventions about love.
>Taking sex/kissing out of the equation, what do you get from a romantic partner that you can't get from a best friend? I'm not really sure honestly.
I have never desired to kiss or fuck anyone in real life, and now I'm scared that I'm asexual aromantic, which has devastating implications for my prospects of having a small family in the future.

>>8310226
It's very good, he knows all of this. He knows I'm this unhappy over it but I understand that it's like well what can he really do? I can't just make him do it and I don't want that anyway, there's no real buildup or mood when your partner isn't even interested.

I just fell in love with him. It's like this evening I said to him "You know if we could just make something work I'd be perfectly happy". No breakthroughs though, these talks just leave both of us feeling bad. I still love him very, very much and not getting these things doesn't change that no. I'd be fine with just giving him the companionship he wants, since he said that's all he really wants out of our marriage, if I could have a close friend or two you know? It's just that I already know he's hurting and guilty enough from me not getting something that's kind of a big deal to me.

If I had known asexuality was a legit thing and what it really meant, and knew he was like this and it wasn't just a lack of confidence or something? No we'd have probably stayed as a couple or very good friends but never married.

I just really really don't get it. It's not like he's physically unattracted to me, there's a ton of things he likes about me and tells me he loves just looking at me or watching nearly everything I do.

I dunno. Thanks for hearing me out and trying anons. I know I'm cluttering up your thread a bit and I apologize!

>>8310401
>I feel that I am unable to express my love to her because of normal social conventions about love.
In what way?
In my case, there are times when we've directly talked about how much we mean to each other. I'm really glad I've got a friend like that but to my understanding it's not really conventional - even less so for guys, who are often "dude don't talk about feelings you're ruining the fun, go see a shrink, don't hug me what are you gay"

My general principle is "fuck what other people think, they don't know you, they'll forget you as soon as you walk past and what they think of you doesn't matter". Of course that's just regarding strangers in public in situations like hugging in public or whatever. Point being I care more about what the individual is comfortable with rather than what other people think of that

I'm so busy, but I just had to make the time to come here.

You guys don't have a sexuality, you don't belong on this board, you will never be happy, give up on discussing your asexuality, give up on your dreams.

>>8300220

Autism in of itself does not cause Asexuality. HOWEVER, many of the medications used to treat it do list "decreased sexual drive" as one of the side-effects.

With the push in the late 90's to give every spurious diagnosis of Autism medications that could decrease sexual drives, can't it be said that if it didn't exist before, Asexuality does now?


>>8310856
More like you took your trip off and proceeded to shitpost anyway.

How is that metal-clad closet of yours going? Did you spend "punch an Ace day" punching yourself in the crotch to "prove" that your genitals are fully functional, thus "proving" to yourself that you are not Asexual?

I said it last thread and I'll say it again.You remind me of those preachers who rail against the homosexuals, yet a scandal emerges a few months later when they are discovered in a roadside no-tell motel with a rentboy. Y'know, the ones who preach loudly about the evils of the sodomites possibly as an attempt to convince themselves that they are not one themselves?

Leave your armored closet. The air outside is much cooler than the air inside. You'll feel much better once you leave. Don't let that metal box become your casket.

Admit it or not. Either way, you're as big a part of /acegen/ as any of us. If you truly didn't want us to still exist, you wouldn't bother posting here. Yet You Still Do.

>>8310856
Oh hi, welcome back. I was worried you had anheroed

>>8310746
Because >women and men can't just be friends
Stupid stereotypes
And it doesn't help that we are roommates too.
And maybe it has something to do with this bit of childhood trauma
>be 6 years old
>girl on the same street same age same school
>Parents are friends so now we are friends
>she is my only friend
>7 years old
>I get a home phone line in my room and I call my parents at work all the time
>always end the call with "I love you, bye!"
>one day me and her call each other
>force of habit say "I love you, bye!" and hang up.
>oh shit I didn't mean that.
>she stops talking to me, we aren't friends anymore
>I am too stupid/autistic to fix this
>fear intimacy with women until this day

>>8295173
How do you know it's asexuality and not life long depression, side effects of medication, or fear of intimacy?

>>8312571
Different anon, but geez I know that feel.

>hang out with my neighbor a lot since he's my age
>neighbor's mom calls everyone "hun"
>extends to me too
>practically a part of that family and pick up on it
>say it to childhood best friend on accident
>she's creeped out
>she stops inviting me over
>learn her parents are controlling and religious
>phobic of everything "deviant"
>tfw she stopped being my friend a year later

I want to talk to her again, but I don't think she'd be able to accept me for who I am.

>asexuality is just depression, mental disorders, and being raped as a kid
>asexuality is wrong because it is not the natural human approach to sexuality

Why do anti-asexuality LGBT members use the exact same arguments the conservative Christians use against gays?

>>8313101
because someone whose entire life and personality is based around sex can't conceive of not having it

>>8312218
Why would I take off my trip?
And no, I am not asexual, I masturbate every other week more or less, and the times when I rejected sex from girls and that one guy that time was because I didn't want to for different reasons, not because I don't have sexual drive! You are full of shit! Fuck off!

>>8312409
I am in it for the long run, senpai.

>>8314259
>I masturbate every other week more or less
You do realize this is abnormally low for a normal person?

>>8313101
I'm literally a conservative Christian. I used to be incredibly homophobic, but my brother came out gay and I found lesbian porn, so now I love the fags!

You guys though... disgusting. You know your lifestyle will lead you to hell.

>>8314326
>your lack of sexual promiscuity will lead you to hell
really makes me think

>>8314349
Don't look at me, I just read the Book, I didn't write it!

>>8312807
I know I'm not depressed, so I can rule that one out right off the bat,

The one medication I take has as one of its side effects increased libido. No cases of decreasing anything, only increasing.

I can't 100% rule out a fear of intimacy, however I do know people who fear intimacy yet still want relationships. And oh, wait, I want a relationship, too. I just don't want to have sex with anybody.

The thing is, there's more to intimacy than just sex.

>>8310401
I'm aro/ace, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for me to have a family. If I happened to find a lifelong platonic partner/best friend, I'd be open to the possibility of adopting a kid with them. You could even legally marry for benefits and all. Don't give up hope!

>>8314382
Show me where in "the Book" it says "You must have sex or else you burn in hell."

>>8315636
Not that anon, I'm pretty sure they're being sarcastic anyway, but from what I understand catholics are a bit uptight when it comes to procreation - they think sex is exclusively for the purpose of procreation (recreational sex even inside marriage is considered a sin), so I think for many of them it probably follows that procreation is something you're "meant" to do, like it's a duty or something
Of course there's nowhere in the bible that actually says this, it's one of those things that became a rule later because a pope dictated it or something.

This is all baseless conjecture but it's my understanding of catholicism. I'm sure they think lacking a sexual desire altogether is just as abnormal as not being able to maintain celibacy.

>>8314326

>asexuality leads to hell

according to Catholicism I'm supposed to either stay single the rest of my life or join the clergy and there will be no sins committed

>>8317659
I said I was Christian.

How many ace people have sex?

I'm in a relationship of 3 years, have sex about once a week(I'm cis biromantic guy with a cis gf)

I derive some joy from it because I like seeing my GF get off, but besides that it's just meh.

Prefer giving oral (to either sex) than penetrating, don't like being penetrated and indifferent about me penetrating.

GF is cute when she comes tho, that's the highlight for me.

Don't masturbate, used to masturbate about once a week(no porn, don't like porn) for stress relief.

>>8318119
Sounds like you're just straight.

>>8318247
I had a boyfriend before my current girlfriend

I don't derive sexual pleasure from sex, but I do like making my partner happy if you get it.

>>8314262
It's normal senpai, sometimes I masturbate twice in a single week. I didn't reject sex in the past because I didn't want it, it is because I either was intimidated, or didn't want it! I am not asexual, I look at porn!

>>8296590
I suppose with a romantic relationship I would be willing to kiss the person I was in love with. I'm not a person who really likes to do that, however. I don't even like cuddling all that much. For me I think it's better if I don't chase after a relationship as I only crave doing couply things every once in a blue moon. A part of me wishes I just had a friend who would be cool with me cuddling or kissing them every, I don't know, 6 months? Lol

>>8318582
>It's normal senpai
says who?

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I MISSED OUT ON SWEET OLDER BOY LOVIN IN HIGHSCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS DISEASE

>>8319758
what do you mean

>>8295173
When do you all leave?

>>8300673
>Sexuality is unrelated to sex drive.
lol. That's a good one. It's like trannies saying sex and chromosomes aren't related.

>>8305927
You're just a sub and probably straight. Either way, get out.

>>8306623
>I love my pets and food. Try that
wow, totally queer! Welcome to the LGB rainbow you hungry dogfucker!

>>8320830
a het with a high libido and a het with a low libido are both still het

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>>8309577
>I don't know how much longer my self esteem can take this.
lol, maybe you should stop labeling yourself "asexual". That's pretty fucking limiting, you know?

You've convinced yourself that you're asexual (like it actually exists) then suddenly you talked yourself into not being attracted to anyone or having sexual feelings, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE LABEL RIGHT??!?

It's like idiot mothers who have autistic kids and they think their kid has the whole diagnosis. No. Sexuality like autism is a spectrum.

For example my boyfriend and I generally aren't into anal. It's dirty and time consuming and we'd rather have sex some other way. That doesn't make us "gay demi-aromantic gray sexual". We just don't buttfuck.

Try this: You aren't asexual. You are just you and you have your own individual needs and quirks. Have fun with that.

Now you don't belong here and get the fuck off this board, okay? Okay.

>>8309590
>but it's really eye opening observing from the outside how some guys treat interacting with women as if it's a puzzle of saying the right words to magically end up having sex with them, rather than treating them like a normal human being.
Women don't like being treated like a "normal human being" when it comes to sex. Women are judgemental, look only at visual cues, like to be pushed around and generally treated like shit. Seeing women trying to get laid is like watching animals on a nature documentary. There is nothing "human" about it.

>>8310008
He's not asexual. He's using you chiefly for financial reasons and to fill his life with the minimum of companionship. You're not even in a relationship.

>>8320844
Are you disagreeing? Sex drive is to sex like gasoline is to a car. They are seamlessly connected. Having a low libido doesn't make you LGBT and you don't belong here.

>>8320522
She means she's too ugly to fuck around and that must make her asexual.

>>8318302
>I don't derive sexual pleasure from sex, but I do like making my partner happy if you get it.
>i just have it once a week
lol, seriously, get the fuck out snowflake. I bet you didn't fuck your old boyfriend either. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE STRAIGHT.

>>8320873
You might need gasoline to run a car, but having gasoline doesn't require having a car.

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>>8320969
And the analogy falls apart.

>>8320522
I mean I could've stupped around with older men and had a hot age gap relationship but didn't even know my own sexuality so I couldn't do so
>>8320876
Fuck off Nancy, more guys want to bang me than you have acne, and that's quite a lot

>>8321878
The guys that want to "bang" you have acne?

Spoken like a true asexual. Get out.

>>8321975
Why should I explain myself to you? Not like you're going to believe me regardless of what I say.

>>8322309
You're mistaken. It's not that I don't "believe" you, it's that I don't give a shit what you say.

LEAVE.

>>8323208
I just wanted to talk about stuff we missed out on man. Don't you feel ike you ever missed out on anything?

>>8323219
NO, we are all happier than you and when you're not around, we laugh.

>>8323309
Bullying is no way to win a girl's affection anon

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>>8323325
>Ugly white straight girls with issues are queer, now
NO!
Be a "fruit fly" and know your fucking place.

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>>8323331
I never said I was queer though. I'm not heterosexual but I don't really push myself in the lgbt either. You're just bored and want something to agrue about because it's fun for you, and that's kind of cute because I do the same thing pretty often.

>>8323368
>I never said I was queer though.
then you said
>I'm not heterosexual
and then you said
>but I don't really push myself in the lgbt either.
and YOU'RE STILL FUCKING HERE.
God damn, are you all trolls?

>>8323399
they said they are bored and want something to agrue (sic) about because it's fun
so, yes, they are trolls
don't engage with them

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>>8318936
I SAY SO!

I hate being asexual, it's fucking depressing. I would rather be literally any other orientation.

I make up for my insecurities by hardcore trolling people online and picking apart their sexual insecurities.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

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>hug friend
>get boner
am I just starved for physical contact?

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>mfw straight male that wants sex but is to afraid to get some even thought girls tease me and i like it

Relationships & sex scare me

Am I asexual or just a fag?

>>8334875
Scare in what way?
If you've got emotions that actively stop you from wanting to do something rather than just being apathetic and having no desire, that sounds more like an actual psychological issue to deal with

>>8334883
Emotions, it's definitely not apathy. I've had girlies and boys alike ask me out but am skare.

Hrmm, well I mean.. maybe it's psychological stuff but therapy sounds not fun

>>8334901
what scares you about it?

>>8334905
What if I said childhood trauma?

>>8334916
I'd ask you to elaborate
But I think you can already tell where this is going

>>8334921
I don't want to go to therapy or whatever.
People in positions of power scare me.

>>8334924
You're either going to have to face that fear or stay content living the way you are currently -
knowing that you had the physical ability to try and change things but made the choice to stay how you are instead.

>>8334933
Facing my problems scare me, so I think I can be content with where I am

>>8334943
Just remember that it's a choice you consciously made

>>8334952
I know it is.
I know that I'm stopping myself.

Hey /acegen/, I've been wondering in what direction do you want the asexual community to go in the future. Do you want us to be more accepted in the queer circles or are you content where we are right now?

The reason I'm asking is that I'm not really sure if I have encountered any problems with other people because of it, and on the other hand, I don't really find the lgbt community that helpful. This is just my take on it, so please tell how it is for the rest of you.

>>8336320
I think it's important to raise asexual awareness, but I personally don't mind not being in LGBT spaces, regardless of whether or not it's because I'm rejected from them. In my experience, most of it is just sitting around and talking about how much they're attracted to this guy or that girl, and the trans people are just in the corner talking about The Struggle.
I'd prefer ace spaces, where the conversation isn't focused on the fact that we're ace, but rather respects it (ie. omitting sex from the discussion instead of focusing it around the fact that we don't wanna fuck people).

>>8336320
I feel like being associated with LGBT is necessary in the "non-standard sexuality alliance" sense, but as for actively interacting with them it's a bit different - for a lot of them, who they want to fuck is a huge part of what defines who they are and what they talk about. But ace people can't relate to a discussion about that. >>8336559 says it well

tfw you realized that when people say someone is attractive they actually meant "I get an erection from looking at this person" this whole time, not "I like looking at this person because they are aesthetically pleasing"

>>8336559
>I'd prefer ace spaces, where the conversation isn't focused on the fact that we're ace, but rather respects it
Though the culture wasn't molded by asexuality, I've found one place on the internet where sex talk is actively disouraged in pursuit of higher quality of discussion.
And I'm not sharing. It's special to me.
I'm just saying that it's really really nice to have such a retreat available to me.

Which reminds me of something I thought of some months ago.
Given how the rest of /lgbt/ is so against us having a general here, would there be interest in a single page slow as fuck offsite imageboard for the residents of this thread?

Additionally fuck discord and especially fuck that 'ace' discord that posted incest porn the night I took a look at it

>>8336320
Associating with the larger LGBT community would provide benefits in regards to visibility and awareness, and potentially with legal advice and the like and is technically the right group to associate with.

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>>8340806
Probably the booze or lack of sleep but you just blew my mind. Damn.

>>8343193
>especially fuck that 'ace' discord that posted incest porn the night I took a look at it
What's your problem?

>>8343193
This entire post is so cringy

>>8343932
Porn on a forum for people with no sexual desire is a failure in my book.

>>8343987
You probably read it wrong.

>>8345855
For the record, the incest porn, and ask porn which was posted in that channel, was for laughing at. We were laughing at how ridiculous incest porn is

>>8314326

I'd only go to Hell if I believed that it existed. Even then, the only real punishment would be "denied the presence of Asshole YHWH"

Now, unless a certain troll kills me on his spurious holiday, the afterlife I believe in is very cold. At least the figure who runs that place looks like she needs a hug.

>>8315659

Christians are hilarious when it comes to sex. "Sex is evil and disgusting and you should only do it with the one you love"

>>8323399

Don't you know that /acegen/ is either a flock of wolves or a bunch of AI attemping to find out if they are Turing capable, kohai?

Oh and BigGuy, a guy who claims that he's straight, yet spends a lot of time and effort "proving" this.

>>8336320

I personally would like to see the Ace community a) grow the fuck up, b) decide if they want to be part of the legbutt rainbow or not, c) form our own damn identity, with our own slang and d) be recognized as a legitimate thing.

>>8343193

Sorry about that wincest, kohai. I collect it because it's so over the top and dangerously cheesy. If it wasn't wincest, it would either be wrestling gifs or slutty beegirls.

>>8348141
>Christians are hilarious when it comes to sex. "Sex is evil and disgusting and you should only do it with the one you love"

I grew up in a pente church and their angle was "sex is a sacred bond, god wants you to enjoy it but it's exclusively for you and your wife because the bible says so" - and the bible actually does say that to give them some credit
A bit better than "sex is exclusively for procreation otherwise it's a sin" but there is still a heavy amount of guilt tried to put on you when it comes to masturbating. I've looked into it before and there seem to be some mixed views - some say masturbation is inherently a sin, others say it's only a sin if you use porn or think lustful thoughts, I've even seen an article from someone who says that masturbation is not a sin if you're thinking about your theoretical future wife.

Within the protty sphere there doesn't seem to be much consensus on masturbation because the bible never explicitly mentions it. Some people lump it in as part of what the ambiguous term "sexual immorality" means, whereas others take the parts that talk about lust and apply it to masturbation as if the two are inherently the same thing. I believe catholics use the story of onan (god tells onan to impregnate his dead brother's widow, he pulls out instead) as proof that any time you ejaculate outside the unprotected womb of a woman it's a sin, but most other denominations interpret that story to be that onan was punished simply for disobeying god, and the act of pulling out or "spilling seed" isn't inherently a sin. If it was a sin, that would mean wet dreams or other involuntary ejaculations were a sin and that makes no sense to me

>>8348216
>because the bible never explicitly mentions it

Wasn't that the Sin of Onan, who failed to do his bible-duty to impregnate his brother's widow by pulling out and "spilling his seed on the ground"?

>>8348277
Read the rest of the post
Only catholics believe he was punished for the act of "spilling seed" - most other denominations believe he was punished because he outright disobeyed a direct order from god to impregnate his brother's widow. It's not like god kills everyone who masturbates on sight, so there's clearly some other reason onan was killed by god

Plus the concept of "wasting semen" being a sin is ridiculous from a mere logistical angle - plenty of couples who are actively trying to have a kid have to have sex multiple times because it doesn't magically work on the first time - and even in an instance where sex actually results in conception, that's still millions of sperm wasted due to the sheer quantity in one ejaculation.
Theoretically assuming a God exists and intelligent design was a thing, god would know that you don't make millions of babies at once yet he still chose to have that many sperm cells in an ejaculation. He would know sperm cells would get wasted, yet he still designed people that way.

>>8348308
>god kills you anyway, but plays the long game

>>8300220
thank you

>>>>quoting cosmopoliton
Are you serious? Go back to tumblr you feminist autist.

>>8348992
???

>>8320832
>because youre straight get out
fuck off havent you heard of allies?

>>8301943
>>8301992
@ >>8349012

>>8348992
>>8349057
I linked the articles because of their relevance, not because of their quality. If you would go back and read my posts, you'll find I never said anything positive about the articles, only that they existed, and in fact was criticizing the aromantic one.
If you don't like cosmopolitan, congrats. That makes two of us.

>>8347454
I don't understand how that's funny.

>>8350188
You've never laughed at how ridiculous fetish porn is before?

>>8350188
It's often over the top.

I, personally, don't really find it funny. But I can see how some might

>>8351116
No, I haven't. It just feels depressing.

>>8352793
depressing in what way?

>>8352793
You're ace. Get over it

>>8353434
I am over it. That's why I'm here.
But I didn't know there was any kind of asexual community until a few months ago.

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>>8295173
When I was 15 my friends started questioning why I never had a boyfriend and I never talked about boys/love with them. I told them I was gay and that kinda solved it.

From there it all spiraled out of control. I was forced to "come out" to my parents and friends as gay, and now everyone I know and have ever known knows me as a lesbian.

I'm not. I'm ace. I've never felt sexually or romantically attracted to anyone. I've never been in love, or felt that my life was lacking a partner. I'm perfectly happy the way I am.

Coming out the first time was super difficult. My mom shunned me, and my dad died never knowing. Things have settled down now (I'm 20), but it still feels like I'm living a lie.
Is it worth it to stir he hornet's nest again and come out as ace to everyone I know? It's such a process, and asexuality is not as understood by the general population, so I'm guessing it will be even harder than coming out as gay was.

fuck me

>>8354562
how's your relationship with your mom now?
Depending on how people responded the first time, there's every chance they'll think you might just be doing it for attention
Why did you feel the need to come out in the first place? I've never really understood it myself, just live however the fuck you want and only tell who needs to know, let who doesn't need to know think whatever they want because their opinion isn't important
Does your public identity as gay affect how you live your life at all? Are you forcing yourself to do things to appear gay?

>>8354578
It's fine. Got better after I moved out.

It started with telling my friends I was gay so they wouldn't ask about my love life. Don't know why that worked, but it did. Took the pressure off.
Then they mentioned it to people, who came to me asking if it was true, and I had to confirm. Then my mom heard it from a friend of hers, who heard it from her daughter, my friend. She confronted me and I had to say lie and say yes.
After a big argument, her last words on the matter were "Don't tell your father."

It doesn't really affect my daily life in any way, but it feels like I'm lying all the time. Whenever we go out my friends try to set me up, like I'm a novelty to them, and guys especially are very intent on treating me like "one of them" by asking me about their love and sex lives to get a "woman's opinion", like I know shit. Like it will help them in any way.

i'll probably just pretend to be gay and try to explain away how come I've never been in a relationship until I die.

>>8354648
If being known as something you're not if negatively influencing your life in that way, then it might be worth it to come out.

>>8295173
>How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
About 1 cubic meter, that being the size of a typical woodchuck burrow (according to The Straight Dope.)

>>8354562
>Is it worth it to stir he hornet's nest again and come out as ace to everyone I know?
No. If you don't want to have sex, that's no one's business but yours.

>>8354886
This.
If you're getting along just fine as a "lesbian," there's no reason to come out as asexual (other than simply for the sake of being honest). But if it's really getting to you, it might be worth it to set the record straight. You wouldn't necessarily have to sit down with everyone you know and tell them. I would imagine that you can just tell someone the next time it becomes relevant (ie a friend tries to hook you up again, or someone comes to you for relationship advice). Don't be super snooty about it, just work it into the conversation naturally. I imagine word of your asexuality will spread much the same way word of your "homosexuality" did.

>>8354648
>After a big argument
What is there to argue about, even in a situation where the person coming out is being honest? "no you don't actually find women sexually attractive you're just confused"? I'm not really familiar with coming out discussions, do things like that really get said? Is it just when your parents are religious and are suddenly upset that you've committed to a life of sin or something?

>>8356851
Some people get up in arms about how the news will somehow affect other family members. Maybe some family member is afraid of them darn gays, or maybe your being gay will break ol' granny's heart. She wanted great-grandchildren, you know. How dare you have the audacity to deny her that?

>>8357319
>or maybe your being gay will break ol' granny's heart. She wanted great-grandchildren, you know. How dare you have the audacity to deny her that?
See I can understand this one, but that sounds like it's a cause for sadness - not a cause for anger
My parents are religious (I go to church every week too because I don't want to upset them) and if I (theoretically) came out as gay they'd probably just be really sad, like they failed as parents by being unable to transfer their moral code onto me. They might try to talk me out of it somehow like "how do you really know" or "you're probably just confused because you haven't been in a relationship with a girl before" - denial type shit like that. It'd probably destroy the family dynamic, making them scared or hesitant to talk to me because they would disagree with my life choices and be sad about not knowing where everything went wrong. And they'd likely try to pray the gay away behind closed doors too.

I've got no intentions of ever "coming out" as ace for a few reasons - I don't want the attention and don't want to be treated special, plus I also don't want to publicly commit to the label because then it's like I start getting held to that standard of absolutely never finding anything sexually attractive whatsoever. If eventually I do figure out what sexual attraction means and find something that gives me that feeling, I don't want to be in some form of cognitive dissonance denial because I commit to sexual attraction not being a thing I'm meant to feel.
It makes more sense to me to just be silent or awkward in sex related discussions or "yknow if you did [thing] girls would find you more sexy" type shit than to become a spectacle by being known as this mystical asexual being

>>8295173
now begins my mitosis

What if I like to fap but I don't like to be envolved with humans?

Am I assexual or just misanthrope?

>captcha: SDTrans

>>8310216
Kill yourself, bislut

>>8357457
future furfag/zoophile

>>8357457
I believe most people in these threads still fap. Whether they use porn or what they think about is another question entirely

>>8357457
I fapped less than 10 minutes ago. Who cares if you masturbate? We evolved to enjoy it, just because we're not seeing others as something we want doesn't mean the junk in the trunk is defunct.

Guys if I'm aroused at certain things, but don't care for sex am I asexual?

>>8361386
The best answer I can give is "it doesn't really matter"
If it's easier to call yourself ace to other people if they're trying to come onto you and you're not interested then by all means go ahead. But don't get so caught up with identifying with a label that you start denying feelings because "I can't think that because I'm asexual"

When you say you don't care for sex, do you mean you just don't really care about it and have no motivation to seek it out, or you have made an active decision to not ever put yourself in a sexual situation because you find the thought of sex disgusting (or some equivalent reason)?

>>8361426

I masturbate, but I don't seek to have sex, at all, it's not an active decision I took. I don't find the thought of it disgusting, I just don't want it; I'd rather simply cuddle.

>>8361457
I'm in the same boat as you
Like I mentioned in my post, I'm personally hesitant to commit to the ace label because I don't want to enforce that standard on myself. I masturbate and there are things that I find arousing, but I don't have any desire to seek out sex with another person - or at least that's what I've been telling myself, which could be genuine but it could also be a result of a religious "no sex before marriage" upbringing, I don't really know how to tell. I don't want to rule out the possibility that I could feel that way about someone in the future, and I don't want to find myself in denial over it because I commit to a label that dictates I can't feel that way.
If anyone who I'm not particularly close to asks I'd probably just say straight, when in reality it'd either be bi or ace. I've had multiple people suggest I'm ace before, mostly at parties when people ask why I don't get on tinder or why I haven't had a girlfriend before and aren't trying to pick up.

Regardless of whether I'm truly ace or not, I still come to this general because it's pretty much the first place where I've seen people who have the same/similar attitudes towards sex as me

>>8361505

Well, I'm not religious, and my family isn't either, if that's any source of comfort for you. I know for sure I don't have any desires to have sex (I'm not opposed to having it, though), since compared to other people - who find others attractive or not and are aroused -, the only thing I want is to cuddle, hug, etc. but not have sex. I don't seek out sexual relationships, though I still am aroused at certain things that could surround the act, but not the act itself.

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I just found this and holy shit I had completely forgotten about the 53x+m3=0 Aven joke or whatever. Why is Aven so cringy?

>>8362322
>Why is Aven so cringy?
because they're made up of the attention seekers, not the ones who want to just live their lives without being treated special

>>8357457

I fap. I use porn because if I try fantasizing, I end up focusing on unrelated stuff.

>>8362371
>if I try fantasizing, I end up focusing on unrelated stuff.
But does that impact your ability to fap? I think about unrelated shit half the time (or I'm meta thinking about paying attention to and trying to remember what I'm thinking of) and it doesn't stop me from hitting orgasm

>>8362380

It does, because I end up going down paths that have nothing to do with the end goal of climax.

Best example would have been when I tried to make a fantasy inspired by a story I read online called "The Pilfered Princess", which was a parody of all the "princess gets kidnapped by a dark lord, king offers the hand of the princess to whoever rescues her" where the king doesn't want his daughter back because she's an incorrigible slut.The dark lord tries torturing the princess in different ways, but it turns out that nothing he tries works on her. He tries having her raped by a guard. She gets off. He tries having her tortured by a professional. She gets off on that. She gets given to a horde of horny trolls. She gets off on that.

The fantasy I tried making was that if there is such a thing as a professional in an area, then there must have been a guild-like organization to ensure that a certain level of skill is maintained and so on.

This fantasy went well, until I started getting bogged down with the backstory of everything and the standard contract that the Guild of Torturers and Interrogators would have for dealing with dark lords (namely, if the dark loard is successful, the guildmember gets the object being tortured as a bonus)

If you have not worked it out yet, I'm on the spectrum. Since my meds help me focus and by the time I fall asleep, they've probably worn off, focusing becomes...tricky.

I can fap to a video or a story. I just don't imagine myself in the story or the video. I mean, I'm the kind of person who, once I climax, I turn off the video/stop reading the story.

>>8362445
>I'm the kind of person who, once I climax, I turn off the video/stop reading the story.
I thought that's what sexuals do too? I've never used porn so I don't know what's normal but that seems like the most logical thing to do

>>8295173
I'm not 100% sure if I am asexual. Can anyone help me?

I have never had even the slightest crush on anyone. (19 btw)
I can and do masturbate, and can masturbate to both sexes.
Am male. I still (like the infographic) like to hug family/close friends etc, but have no romantic feelings towards anyone.

What am I? Asexual? Bi? Something else?

>>8362499
>Asexual? Bi?
One of those

You mention a lack of romantic feelings, but what about sexual? They're not inherently the same thing (even though they can definitely be related). When you masturbate to people, is it to the thought of having sex with them or the thought of them being in a sexual situation separate to you (eg them masturbating or having sex with someone else)?

>>8362505
The thought of them being in the sexual situation.

>>8362508
But does the sexual situation involve you on the other end?

>>8362514
Yeah. I like to imagine that I'm either the one fucking or being fucked. I don't particularly fantasise about who is on the other end, though.

>>8362519
What's your thoughts on sex in real life? You might not be interested in a romantic relationship but how do you feel about casual sex/hookup culture?

>>8362522
Not 100% sure. I'd like to try it, but haven't yet. I'd be open to sex if it happened, but I don't really have a drive to go out and get any. If I'm horny I just use my hand.

>>8362524
Basically what >>8361426 says
Sexuality labels (especially self identified ones) are at best an approximation of what most fits your situation - don't let them define you or control your behavior.

>>8362445
This is so funny to me

Male aces: cuddle boners. How do I make them stop? I've noticed they seem to happen when I get relaxed/comfortable and especially when I'm happy, conditions which are satisfied while cuddling. Is there a way to make them go away that anyone's found?

Alternatively they may happen for me while cuddling due to a general lack of physical touch, so it might be getting set off by that being contrasted with full body contact. Anyone have any thoughts?

>>8367830
>As a male, how do I stop popping boners over like, literally everything?

You don't. Enjoy erections.

>>8367830
The penis is comprised of vascular tissue.

When you relax, your blood vessels vasodilate (expand) and more blood flows into your dick. Hence, erections when you're comfortable.

>>8367830
does getting a boner when you cuddle someone mean your body wants to fuck them, even if you don't consciously think that?

>>8357366
>I've got no intentions of ever "coming out" as ace for a few reasons - I don't want the attention and don't want to be treated special, plus I also don't want to publicly commit to the label because then it's like I start getting held to that standard of absolutely never finding anything sexually attractive whatsoever. If eventually I do figure out what sexual attraction means and find something that gives me that feeling, I don't want to be in some form of cognitive dissonance denial because I commit to sexual attraction not being a thing I'm meant to feel.
>It makes more sense to me to just be silent or awkward in sex related discussions or "yknow if you did [thing] girls would find you more sexy" type shit than to become a spectacle by being known as this mystical asexual being
I definitely have a lot of those feelings. I've come out to a couple of people, but it mostly seems pointless. I don't want people to see me as a ~special snowflake~ or anything. I've always been non-committal in conversations about people's attractiveness, so I don't feel like I have to specify what I really am.

Most people I know don't really know me that well, so they haven't unlocked that level of closeness. Nor does it feel relevant or like it's anything they need to know. Nearly everyone knows I have a boyfriend (I am a girl), so it feels weird to say "Oh, btw, I'm asexual" when they know I'm involved with someone.

It often feels like it just doesn't count as something worth coming out for. I'm a fairly private person, but it seems especially weird for me to talk about it with anyone I know.

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>>8368942
if you're under 30 years old and healthy you are going to get erections all throughout the day, independent of stimuli.
i get boned up riding the bus, sitting in the dentist chair, riding an elevator, sitting at work, while eating lunch, waiting at the bus stop, watching tv, talking on the phone, answering the door when my sisters friend comes over.

i don't want to fuck in any of those situations except the last one.

your dick wants to fuck everything.
that doesn't mean you do.

>>8369010
There's a difference between incidental no reason boners and a boner that you can explicitly pinpoint as being triggered by cuddling, though

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Somehow a meme about me being fuckable has arisen between my friends and Im constantly being harassed about not appreciating anything sexual through ass slaps and attempts to grab boobs etc. How do I tell them that it's fucking disgusting without sperging out, it's creating a huge cringe fest every time I think of it.

>>8370969
Tell them that being randomly grabbed makes you uncomfortable. If they don't respect that, they're shitty friends, and then just tell them to fuck off.

>>8370969
hold up
you mean these people are ass slapping and grabbing your boobs because they consider you fuckable?
Is there an individual person in the group you're specifically close to? Because my suggestion would be to tell them it makes you uncomfortable and/or you don't like it. If they care about you that could be enough for them to tell the rest to stop

Whatever you do, don't open with "you're acting like a fucking creep" or anything that attacks them. That'll make them get defensive and escalate tensions. Focus on how it makes you feel, because ideally they should then be able to empathize with you rather than get defensive about their own actions

>sexually interested in a guy
>he claims he is asexual
>I tell him asexuality is weird, probably just low hormones
>he says that's ignorant
>I ask if he has ever had a blood test - no
> he checks his bloods, he actually had very low T levels
>starts testosterone shots next week, to be taken every three months

Why won't you just fix yourselves?

>>8371231
because I'm comfortable how I am and instead of calling them ignorant I'll say they could be right but it doesn't bother me either way

>>8371231
Tons of us here have already had our hormones checked, along with other tests. I'm perfectly healthy.

>>8371231
Even if it's "fixable" why should you if you're happy with how you are? I mean, if you could take a pill or something to "fix" your gayness, would you? Sounds like you pressured him for your benefit instead of his.

>>8371231
Testosterone generally only affects sex drive, not sexual attraction.

Also, this didn't happen, but congrats on getting me to give you a (You).

Would you call yourself apathetic in other areas of life? nihilistic?

>>8375696
In certain areas of life, yes. In others, no.

For things like friendships, hobbies, food (stuff that brings me personal enjoyment), I am very enthusiastic. I love having a calendar full of things to do with friends and other events. I can spend hours each day hanging out with friends, working on my hobbies (mostly crafting and art), or cooking a new recipe. Those things all bring me immense joy.

For things like work and family, I don't give a shit. I don't think life has some great meaning to it, so I work a mediocre job that lets me pay the bills and doesn't drain my soul too badly. I don't really care about advancement in the workplace or trying to strike it rich. I'm not trying to save up to buy some fancy condo that I don't need nor do I feel like I have to compete with people when it comes to things like cars or vacations. And I think blood family is meaningless, and I don't care for most of mine, so I don't bother to waste my time on them. Being coincidentally related to someone isn't a good enough reason to automatically love someone.

>>8375696
depressed

>>8375696
Definitely anhedonic.

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Sorry if this sounds bait-y or shitpost-y, it's my first time in this general and I'm sure this question gets asked a lot around here (even being mentioned before this post, but clearly in a more trolling demeanor).
What makes asexuallity LGBT? To my understanding, it is supposed to be a group about striving for equallity and visibility of non-hets and non-cis, as they were (and still are) being discriminated for being sexually different than the majority of the population. Under this assumption, is asexuality LGBT? Have aces been discriminated in the same way gays and lesbos have? Should the A get included in LGBT, or should LGBT be used as just an acronym that represents sexual abnormality in general?

>>8378779
They have two answers to this. They will either try to turn LGBT into LGBT+everything weird or they will pretend asexuals face actual oppression in society.

>>8378793
>implying most of /ABCD/ face any actual oppression anymore and isn't celebrated by mainstream society

>>8378779
I would suggest that the fact that people question and sometimes outright attack this thread about whether it's a real thing or not proves that acceptance has not been achieved in the same way that gay, bi, trans etc are accepted and celebrated.

There's no public "aces need to burn" hatred type shit, but I think a lot of people here can point to situations where people talk in a way that assumes you're not asexual (eg "which of these girls would you fuck" or general sexual objectification type bro talk) which can be uncomfortable because you can't relate and don't many ways to respond without drawing attention to yourself, which most aces don't want. Ace people aren't necessarily discriminated against, but they are questioned and challenged about their state of existence in a way that wouldn't be acceptable for other groups (eg "trans isn't a real thing you're just mentally ill")

Ace is only LGBT in the LGBT+ sense, which also happens to be the widely accepted current state of the movement.

>>8378882
Shitposting or even just asking questions is the same as getting murdered for your orientation or gender, got it.

>>8378911
>absurd absolute strawman
t. cognitive dissonance

>>8378779
I think the point of the LGBT/queer community is for those who aren't cis or straight to be able to bond together over our "otherness." So I think asexual people fit in there.

When it comes to discrimination, most aces aren't heteromantic, and since people walking down the street don't know whether you're fucking or not, seeing two girls together or two dudes together in public holding hands or whatever is still going to get shit on. And you can say that counts towards homophobia, which I'd definitely agree on, but aces who aren't heteromantic can experience both homophobia and acephobia.

Examples of straight up acephobia include corrective rape (people raping aces to prove they feel attraction; I'm aware that gay people get raped to be proven straight, so this is separate), forced hospitalization/medication/therapy, people assuming your identity is a result of csa, being considered inhuman, having their asexuality used as a symptom for medical issues, and there has been a study done that showed that hets have more prejudice against aces than homo/bi folk (although a lot of this is more internal, as I pointed out before that it's hard to know if someone is ace without them telling you), along with them saying they'd be less likely to hire or rent to ace folks.

>>8379258
>along with them saying they'd be less likely to hire or rent to ace folks.
Is there any actual studies about this? I can't understand the reasoning why someone would think this

>>want to bang dont care what gender
>>won't cause real people suck and are gross
>>would bang a dragon, robot,fantasy creature or vehicle
>>realize it would probably suck in real life anyway
>>dragon dildo is pretty cool
>>but it kinda sucks too

what the fuck is my sexuality even? i literally hate everything but im clearly horny as fuck

>>8379291
http://asexualawarenessweek.com/docs/AsexualityBias.pdf

The same results were found regarding gay and bi people. Straights put us all in the "less human" category, unfortunately.

>>8378882
There's no widespread ace-phobia because most of the population has no idea asexuality exists. One of these days AVEN is going to do something stupid and get aces unwanted national attention, and I guarantee you that the mainstream rhetoric after that will be about how "broken" or "sad" we are, and how we all "just need to get laid."

>>8379631
This is interesting...

>>8379596
trysexual

>tfw no cute ace girls in the 210

>>8380777
>One of these days AVEN is going to do something stupid and get aces unwanted national attention
Some freak will shoot up a mall and have posted on his blog about asexuality or something and then asexuality will get stigmatized because there isn't a widespread support network to defend it.

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I bet everyone asks this dozens of times a thread, but i've always been really confused. Whenever I get close to a girl, I lose all attraction to her. It's so strange, because I feel like I want them but as we're actually performing the acts/getting to know them, I feel nothing and just want it to end and/or go home. I never get into relationships because I friendzone so i don't have to deal with having one. Going out to places, having lunch, dinner, average activities or going out is nice just relationships i don't like.

I have to force myself to sleep with women so that my friends think i'm normal. So many times now I lose my erection and have to ask them to s u c c so I get it back. When I lost my wizard status, after 5 minutes I was bored, not having fun, then just told her i came and am finished. I appreciate women aesthetic way more than fucking them.

Or I'm just borderline autistic.

>>8385169
>I lose all attraction
What kind of attraction specifically? Do you get hard thinking about them prior to actually being physically close to them?

>as we're actually performing the acts
the sex acts?

>I have to force myself to sleep with women so that my friends think i'm normal
It's your life and all but I don't encourage this, you shouldn't have to force yourself into anything sexual just to look normal to other people. If they can't accept that you don't think like them, they're pretty shitty friends.

My best friend's a regular sexual, but he gets into relationships for emotional reasons rather than being motivated by sex. People like that do exist, even if they seem like a statistical minority when hookup culture is such a prominent thing.

>>8385273
Not quite sure, I don't get hard to them unless i'm really trying to fantasise about it.
Yeah.
It's more of conquest to them. So me pulling 8/10 + grills impresses them but it lacks any meaning.

>My best friend's a regular sexual, but he gets into relationships for emotional reasons
I have a close girl i already hang out with a lot, love her to death. But with having a girl interested in a relationship in me i just don't want it. I want everything in a stable relationship except for the label of relationship. It's weird, but i can't contextualize is.

>>8385422
>I want everything in a stable relationship except for the label of relationship
a best friend?
From what I understand, close friendships are much more stable than relationships because it's not about testing each other to see if you can live together and spend every day of the rest of your life together. You get much of the same emotional support, but skip over the more testing parts that can lead to conflict (as well as sex)

>>8378779

The way I see it is thusly: Hets like to lump everything that isn't het into LGBT. Since Aces are not generally hetero-romantic heterosexual, we get lumped into the whole "LGBT" thing.

To me, the term "LGBT" is just mental/vocal shorthand for "not heteroromantic, heterosexual or cisgender in some way." I could write up a whole post regarding how technically, /transgen/ should be expereincing the level of trolling and "you don't belong here" that /acegen/ does, but it ends up sounding horribly mean.

Most of the other /gens/ see /acegen/ as a parasite, as we seem to not contribute to anything and are unrelatable (The whole "gay experiment" thing doesn't have an Ace equivalent, while Aces can at least have their own Gay/Lesbian/Straight experiment). I'd love it if we were more symbiotic. We may not experience the same amount of religious hatred that the rest of the spectrum gets, but our version of that is idiots who even refuse to believe that there are healthy adults who do not feel the need to breed. There's also the problem of coming out. At least "God Hates Fags" acknowledges that gays exist. Try coming out to parents who don't even believe that Asexuality even exists.

We just want advice from groups who have been where we are now and have stood where we are standing.

>>8371231

Some of us have long made our peace with this. It's like Steven Hawking's voice. He's had offers to get a less robotic-sounding voice engine, but he turns them all down, as that robotic voice is HIS voice.

Those of us who would want to fix it do so. I don't have a problem with them. I'd have a problem if they kept coming in here and saying "CHECK YER 'MONES" and just being arseholes about it.

>>8369010

So, my acceptance letter to the Invisible University deactivates my bodies ability to get uninitiated boners?

Awesome.

Double post.

>>8379596

Otherkin/Scaly

>>8385169

Sometimes, the thrill is in the hunt.

>>8380777

> "just need to get laid."

My response to that is usually "are animal urges all that drive you?"

>>8320824

When is the post-cyberpunk future I was promised happening?

>>8349055

Start an /allygen/. See how long it takes before it gets deleted on spurious grounds.

>>8362477

It does seem the logical thing to do, yet I see male-targetted porn that has runtimes outright exceeding anything Joe Bloggs could achieve without making an effort to improve their lasting power.

The only kinds of videos that this would be justified for would be stuff like Cock Hero, where the whole point is to make grinding "lasting power" a bit easier or D/s themed JOI videos, which play into certain fetishes.

>>8362499

Whatever label you want to apply to yourself.

If you WANT a label from another person, then how about "Demiromantic Bisexual", which means that you don't like getting to know your fuckbuddies, as that could ruin the sex for you. They will complain about being stuck in the "fuck zone" when they want a more emotionally fufilling relationship. To you, sex is just a complex form of masturbation.

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>>8385537
>Sometimes, the thrill is in the hunt.

>>8385537
>My response to that is usually "are animal urges all that drive you?"
If you tried that on any other 4chan board I'm sure you'd get a *tips fedora*

>>8385731
or you'll just be called a "cuck"

>>8382875

>>8295173
>Do you experience a lack of sexual attraction as described here http://imgur.com/pdIxHYc ? Welcome home.
What if you experience attraction to engage in fetishes/femdom with them (but you never feel any incentive to have sex with anyone)?

>>8391541
I know plenty of kinky ace folks.

>>8305244
batman is ace

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>>8393059
>kinky ace folk

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I just figured out I have sexual desires for some guy, I only realized it after I saw him with his new boyfriend and they were kissing and holding hands
I guess I really was just a repressed gay after all

>>8396175
I'm proud of you, anon. Now go ask him and his boyfriend for a threesome and/or cuddle party

>>8393059
Are you saying sexual attraction refers strictly to an attraction to engage in penetration sex?

>>8396605
No, I'm saying that there are ace folk define themselves as not feeling attracted to other people. Kinks don't necessarily have to involve a person. Like, you can be aroused by bondage or being submissive or food or balloons or whatever without needing to be attracted to another person.

>>8397662
But if one looks at someone else and they feel attracted to be their submissive--are they still asexual? I just mean there seems to be a thin line between "being attracted to someone" and "being attracted to someone doing a thing to you." Is this a line between sexuality and asexuality?

(I'm just trying to understand if I'm asexual)

>>8397691
I'd say that's attraction to the relation between you and that person, and not that person in particular.

I'd also say that fantasy and reality are two very different things. There are plenty of people who are attracted to things through fantasy but wouldn't want to actually do them.

>>8397691
Eh, kind of muddy. Are you attracted to the idea of *that person* doing something with you, or the idea of that person doing *something* with you? For most people, from what I understand, kink is some spice for sex. For an asexual person, sex would be (optional) spice for kink.

But there is no point in arguing about semantics, really. Life is not made of clear-cut categories to put yourself into. Asexual people are mostly not attracted to other people. Kinky people are mostly attracted to some particular acts/ways of living/etc. that are often somewhat sex-related.

Do what you want with both of those.

>>8397772
>kink is some spice for sex

Right up until the point it overwhelms your life and you cease to be able to enjoy vanilla play at all.

Fuck, I'd willingly trade your asexuality for this. You don't want to know to such depths I've descended.

>>8397818
As we've literally been talking about in these last few posts, you can be both asexual and into kink. It's not like one would be a trade off for the other.

Also, go see a therapist.

>>8397876
I've seen every single one in the local area and beyond, some two or three dozen over the years. Knee-jerks like you can only ever spew go to le doctor because you're even more worthless as they are when it comes to handling human sexuality.

I have been struggling with this for my entire life: I have a libido and do want release every now and then but I am never thinking about sex when I am with a partner. If they present the option I don't refuse because I am able and they like having sex with me but I am never the one to initiate. Even if I get aroused and my partner is nearby I won't think to try and have sex with them, I will think "Well this is an inconvenience" and nothing more will cross my mind. Is that still asexual or something else entirely?

Best way I can describe it is having a libido that was never given a target or direction...

>>8399433

Yeah that can be considered ace, just not sex-averse asexual. Not that you need a label if you don't want one.

>>8399472
I just don't wanna be saying I am sexual when I am something else and don't realize it.

>>8397925
>constantly switching therapists rather than following what they tell you

Yeah, it's definitely me with the kneejerk reactions. :^)

>>8295173
Theres a woman I work with who admitted my has autism and supposedly admitted to my closest co-worker that she is a virgin, is asexual but has an "attraction to anime characters" and has openly told me yaoi is a fan favorite of hers...and honestly I would have assumed she was just ocd and was probably a sort of American otaku yaoi fangirl

>>8399809
Anallo aap.

>>8399809
fujos are not human
avoid her

>>8399809

>talking about that shit at work

Avoid

>>8399809
>literally talking about autism, about attraction to anime characters, about yaoi, etc. at work

She probably isn't actually asexual. It's probably the autism. A hardwired disconnect with normal people can make someone like that.