Psychiatry Stories

>>8289540
My first therapist told me I could send out my wishes to the universe and have them granted. No surprise she was an LCSW and not a PhD or MD.

>first psychiatrist
>"I don't think you're a transsexual. You're just a nerd. That's normal! I bet your problems will dissolve once you get to college."
>have a miserable time in college
>now going on nine years HRT

>first therapist is adult woman
>I'm sixteen
>"So how big is your clitoris going to get on testosterone?"
>"W-what?"
>"I heard it grows. How much?"
>"Uh...like an inch or so...I think?"
>"Wow! So it'll be just like a little penis! How neat."
>"Okay"
>keeps asking invasive, irrelevant questions about my bod

>>8289685
As a guy if you tried to complain she'd probably accuse you of making a move on her and get the shit on your head instead of hers.

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>>8289540
>See Psychologist
>tell her i plan on self medding
>yells at me saying i will go to jail
>"how will you get a job after being arrested for smuggling drugs!? your life would be ruined! "
>wtf.jpg
> try to tell her its not a criminal offense to buy class C medications online
>she won't stop arguing, and not actually helping at all
>never go back

>See psychiatrist
>whatcanidoforyou.jpg
>"i am transgender and am going to start hormones, i need your referral to an endocrinologist"
>"oh have you socially transitioned yet?"
>me obviously male clothes and short hair...."um... no"
>he smirks, smug face "oh well you need to have socially transitioned for at least 3 months and had psychotherapy before being eligible to start hormones"
>"oh...ok"
>go home to bed and cry in worst pain of my life
>order hormones from in house pharmacy that night
>see psyc again 2 weeks later,
> "oh by the way, i'm self meding now lmao"
>writes me endo letter straight away
>endo is 5 hour drive away and has massive waiting list
>tfw had been self meding for 6 months by the time i got prescription

Self meding was the best decision of my life :)

>>8289826
Good for you. How much money did you waste on those people?

There really needs to be a better system for people like that to lose business from bad reviews or to be complained about.

>>8289540
>tfw spending half your life in therapy has taught you how to perfectly bullshit therapists

it's also helped tremendously, i-i swear.

>>8289842
What are the tricks?!

i want help so bad but every therapist i goes to doesn't help and i leave the experience feeling vulnerable and weak, and every paychiatrist i go to just prescribes me SSRIs
i just want help and to be fixed

please how do i get real help

>>8289842
why bother then
when I felt like I was just bulshitting my out of it and it didnt help I just quit

>>8289890
What do you need help with?

>>8289896
broken brain

>>8289900
Get a new one then.

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>>8289900
help on the way

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>>8289540

>Self med at 21 bordering 22.
>Go to GP 4 months in and get told to stop self-medding but get referred to a psych who does once-off assessments and determines whether you have Gender Dysphoria after an hour and a half
>Go to appointment
>Typical 22 year old trans story of coming out as a teen and being told it's a phase then becoming a recluse and suicidal and stuff
>Finish 30 mins early feeling relieved after giving a /rundown/ on my life and answering her questions
>Diagnosed with gender dysphoria
>Letter of recommendation comes
>Too painful to read it
>Toughen up and read it a few days later
>Contains my life story in 4 pages, suicide attempts, interests, coffee consumption (2 cups daily), substantial knowledge on self-medding, and my character assessment
>Letter even contains how I dressed, my eye contact with the psych, how the only party I attended in the past few years was a gender bender party, and how I made a friend 2 years ago
>Realizing how much of my life I lost to depression and just sleeping all the time in my room makes me cry a bit
>But I'm also crying with joy because it continually calls me "she" and I can tell she wrote it to hamfist as much "she" into the letter as possible which is really sweet
>Can't show anyone the letter since the family psychiatry history shows me as perfectly fine (albeit underweight) while mom is a gambling addict and dad is a /bully/
>Describes me as quiet, reserved, very knowledgeable, and non-responsive to internal stimulation (I guess like emotions).
>Now on a 6 month waiting list to see an Endo so by the time I get my first blood test + script I'll have been on HRT for 11 months.

Better than I thought it'd be.

>>8289900
just get rid of them

>>8289540
>that honface on the couch
Accurate.

>>8289685
>"I don't think you're a transsexual. You're just a nerd. That's normal! I bet your problems will dissolve once you get to college."
>>8289565
>My first therapist told me I could send out my wishes to the universe
>>8289685
>keeps asking invasive, irrelevant questions about my bod
>>8289826
>yells at me saying i will go to jail
Why are most therapists so laughably bad? It's not even that they're old school or following outdated standards of care, they're literally a joke who don't even have the most basic people skills, let alone an understanding of the mind.

Why are mentally ill people most attracted to becoming psychiatrists?

>>8290390
cause to access good ones you need to be fucking rich

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I've never been to a mental health professional, when i was a kid if i was sad my parents would Just tell me to stop whining, you can't always get what you want.

Now I'm an successful, essentially emotionless, asexual dude, who is completely comfortable with this subhuman existence. Id say subhuman because i am lacking something, idk what but relationships last less than 8 months because there's no emotional connection

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This thread isn't really giving me any confidence but I guess I have to go legit at some point if I want gender marker changed and surgeries huh

>>8290390
>Why are mentally ill people most attracted to becoming psychiatrists?
Because they're trying to fix their own problems.

>>8289540
I've seen 3 psychologists for gender stuff.

psych #1 'so tell me about these delusions' he was quizzing me on schizophrenia, not gender. walked out. dreadful.

psych #2 'you hate your genitals? you my boy, are a true transsexual. no dress means you're dressed as a male though. hmm bisexual tendencies, primarily gynephilic, i'm sure that won't count against you though. Karen refer him - er her- to the clinic. we're done here'

psych #3- i wanted a referral for surgery from her. we talking about trans stuff but we get onto body stuff
'so you're telling me none of them cared about your medical condition or how it related to gender since you're trans now so it wasn't their problem? you know your doctor left you at a cancer risk?'
she was great. her report and referral for surgery mentions 'strikingly feminine appearance and demeanor, lack of virilization during puberty and infertility' etc and never once mentioned specifics about my choice of clothing and styling or sexual orientation like the other psych. she focused on my experiences, my body and my dysphoria. she took in all my complexities as a person, my awful experiences, how my life became normal following transition, and was so easy to talk to i felt like she was a friend and not a psych. she was also a neuro-endocrinologist and dsd expert and had a greater understanding of gender, bodies than the two psychs i saw beforehand, and thats why i specifically chose her. she wrote a report basically chewing my endo and my doctor out saying i could have developed as a normal female, and had corrective surgery as a teen without the need for referral letters, but instead i'm now a genderbent, hairy cancer risk so i need surgery asap. god bless her, what an amazing, competent psych and specialist.

>>8290605
When the emotion connects it's gonna hit you hard and come out in a way where you'll be lucky if it doesn't completely ruin your life.

>>8289540
>talk to psych
>she is mostly understanding of my depression and anxiety
>gives me some good advice
>tell her that I think im trans MtF
>she looks disapprovingly at me
>fuk.jpg
>she opens a desk drawer
>pulls out bible and gives it to me
>tells me to read it and says that our time is over

>>8290988
lmao are you for real

>>8291052
Not even kidding.

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I came out to my parents and they were mad at me and don't believe I'm legit.
Now they are avoiding the subject and gonna send me to a psych for my "social anxiety" (which I also have).

Should I just start the first session saying I've been sent there because I came out as trans? And just hope for the best? Because having a psychologist on my side to prove to my parents that is legit would be the best thing, but I'm way too nervous.

>>8289540

I went to a psychologist for the first time at the age of 17 or 18. I liked talking with him, it felt like I had a friend I guess and I looked forward to our appointments. The problem was I couldn't tell him about my tranny issues because of my paranoia, and besides that, I was beyond lost. So when I talked with him, we wouldn't really talk about anything important that could help me, because besides transition, I did not want to change.

The second time I went to a mental health professional was nearly 3 years later, it was a psychiatrist. I had been self-medding for a few months and I was looking for a diagnosis so I could see an endocrinologist. I was glad I went because he told me if I had been 21, he would charge me $150, and I was just two months off from my 21st birthday. He gave me the diagnosis after just that visit. I was embarrassed to admit I'm a tranny with how fucking disgusting I look.

I was referred to a psychiatrist a year later by a neurologist for trauma issues. I only had one appointment with him. He didn't know about my tranny issues and he told me about different medications they could give me.

Then I went to a group of psychologists (some were trainees and this was in a hospital that provided service free of charge) some days after that. That was to talk about the trauma, and we talked a bit about the rest of my life. I wasn't willing to tell them right out I was a tranny since they were clearly religious, but I was willing to throw out some clues during our conversations. During our last conversation, they asked me if I identified more with my mother and my father, so I realized they figured it out, though I'm sure they suspected before then.

I started seeing an MSW last Tuesday. I'm not sure how much he can help me, not because I doubt his abilities as a therapist, it's just I don't feel anything can be done at this point as a 22 year old who started HRT at 20 with no hope. He sometimes writes articles for Huffington Post.

>>8290988
holy fuck, I guess you never came back.

>>8290605
I'm sorry dude but like, what the fuck is that image I need a source.

>>8291084
Use this as an opportunity to learn to cope with anxiety. Not everything has to be about your gender. Work on your anxiety as well.

>>8291114
Hell no, I ended up complaining and she lost her job.

Raped as a kiddie then psychiatrist told me that I was a sociopath

thanks, I guess.

>>8291138
When and how do I bring up the trans problem?

>>8291108

Adding on, the group of psychologists were trying to figure out why I wanted to be a woman so they could "correct" me. I had admitted to being bisexual earlier on to test their potential reaction to me telling them I'm trans, but they even had a problem with that small fish, so that's why I didn't want to tell them I'm trans directly. I was bothered they're the only psychs a poor tranny in that area is going to have access to, but then hormones are over-the-counter there, so it doesn't matter that much. Religious people trying to get LGBT to fall for the repression meme bothers me. I fell for that before and never again.

The psychiatrist who diagnosed me with GID gave me that appointment within 3 days of me first contacting him by email. He also referred me to an endocrinologist with a 5 month waiting list. I wonder what's with this trend of quick psychs but slow endos.

>>8290605

Are you sure you're not a tranny? I wrote >>8280258 and >>8286942. Can you relate to either?

>>8290795

I wonder how the third psych became so good at her job. How old were you when you saw the first one?

>>8291161
Work on your anxiety worth them first. If they do well with you and you gain solid trust with them, then bring up your trans issues. Just wait until you have solid progress with your anxiety. That will make dealing with everything else 100 times easier.

>>8291249
The problem is that my anxiety comes from having to present male and dysphoria killing from inside

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The first psych i went to was the school psyche (and head of the psychology dept) at this shitty college I went to because I didn't think I was capable of getting in anywhere else.
She was actually really nice and helpful. I dont remember exactly why she couldn't refer me to an endo but she did give a referral for antidepressants from the campus clinic which helped but didnt actually fix my problem.
The second psych I went to (referred by the first, no less) was for Adhd. He was private. He also was kind of intense. I told him I was transgender and he just assumed that was some form of bisexual or something. When it came down to actually diagnosing me, he seemed very detached. Like he was going through an automated script. After the first month and me not understanding how adhd meds where supposed to work I went back and told him I wasnt sure they where working anymore. He said, rather agitatedly, "This isnt for performance enhancement!" which confused the shit out of me( I had literally no idea at the time people used adhd meds for as a performance aid and sometimes rec drug and didnt actually learn that until I looked this shit up myself years later)and then reluctantly switched me to a time release thing. One more month later, and he dissapeared. I went back for my next and his office was just locked up and empty. I was pissed, but also a bit relieved because he just came off as an asshole trying to get through a workday at a walmart.

>>8290988
>>tell her that I think im trans MtF
>>pulls out bible and gives it to me

How did you not just chuck it out the window while not breaking eye contact with her?

first
>Just a person with a degree in social work or whatever, not so great
second
>psychiatrist with a very bad reputation who laughed and me and teased me to test my blood sugar more but was very informative on anti depressants to help my panic attacks
third
>psychiatrist who didn't even remember my name but renewed my prescription for me, insisted I get better in a time frame or he'd not help me, retired or something
fourth
>A real pro, helped me work through a lot of things, don't really have a constant fear of going blind anymore. Moved to a different company though
fifth
>on a wait list to be placed with someone

I wish more people would accept therapy
>I have soooooo many issues XD
>"why don't you see someone, i can give you a numbe-" - me
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>few days later
>I have soooooooooo many issues I'm gonna kill myself :P
every time

>>8291255
You don't know that. It's very common for people to try to pin their issues on one source. You'd have a lot to gain from learning to deal with anxiety and progress in your coping skills either way. You want to build a relationship with your therapist either way as well.

>>8291214
i saw the first one age 22 following a mental breakdown after accepting i was trans and being informed of my infertility. it was a bad mix. i saw the second one age 26, and the third age 28. apparently she's been involved in gender based psych and healthcare for 20 years and now teaches it as well. the first psych was literally some fucking nobody fresh out of university and the second was an old guy who had been practicing since the 70s whose only job was to pass people along to clinics so long as they ticked the 'i hate my junk' and 'i cry a lot' boxes. for the third psych, i felt like she understood, she had a genuine interest in her field and with my story. also she was private, whereas the two previous were nhs. she was worth paying the money to see and i should have done it years ago.

>>8291311
Nhs is a joke, we need to privatise that shit, and get good service again.

>>8291305

Not that anon, and I can see where you're coming from, but I think if I had transitioned earlier, my other problems would have been corrected naturally just through the course of living life, or at least I would have tried to. Whereas now, I could be a 10/10 cis girl when I wake up tomorrow and I would have a lot of shit to work through, though at least I would have the motivation to get through it.

>>8291311

If you started at 22, who were the PCP/GP and endocrinologist she was chewing out?

>>8291323
because i'm infertile and my body is fucked, my development was messed up, my hips and butt are stripes upon stripes of ancient stretch marks from when i was 12, and no-one seemed to care about that at all, then when i was referred for gender stuff, i was suddenly a tranny and someone else's problem. the fact my gonads are undeveloped, internal, and my endo had to examine them by pushing on my pubic fat pad while i was laying down to get them to pop out... she was saying that i should have had surgery in my teens to remove them and started hrt then, but no-one bothered doing anything about it or seen it as significant, despite her saying its a cancer risk. she chewed out my gp, mentioned failings of previous doctors, and my endo, for essentially being negligent over being squeamish over my freakish body and the fact i felt female put them off treating me because 'there's gender clinics for that, they can deal with it'.

>>8291322
bitch i hope you're joking. proper funding and training will fix the nhs. not importing doctors from Bumfuckistan and training our own and giving them incentives to stay would be good too. my gp during my teens was muslim. the guy had no problem telling me my growth was abnormal and telling me to just eat more while groping me. not capable of much else.

>>8291391

That's interesting. I'm sorry you didn't get your issues addressed sooner. Weren't your parents worried about you development though? I remember there was one anon who was always taken for female when she was young so her mother kept watching her undress when she would shower to make sure she was developing as a boy. Obviously her mother was over the edge, but your parents really didn't notice? What's your WHR?

>>8291084
Don't listen to that other fucker. Bring this up. You're right to do so.

>>8291453
whr is about 0.66 (waist 26", hips 39") but used to be more as i was a lot skinnier. life as female as made me happier so i've got plumper. i always had weight problems, growth problems, doctors always saying to my mum 'just feed him burgers and chocolate lol. the hypospadias? we corrected that, its because he was premature, don't worry, people have different development, he'll get puberty soon. ok next patient' so my parents were not overly concerned and i just avoided doctors from when i was 15 until i was 22 because i hated doctors poking and prodding me. i self medded T a bit in college to try and force myself to be male, and look more male, as i was harassed a lot as people thought i was a scruffy autistic female, or ftm. i was secretive and had a lot of shame about my body growing up and my parents were busy people, they left me alone. i didn't see a psych between 22 and 26 because i decided i hated psychs too after that encounter. i was mistrustful of the entire medical profession, and its taken a while to realise they're not all dreadful. but i've been failed over and over from day one due to underfunding, old, poorly trained doctors without relevant specialisations, and my concerns not being taken seriously when voiced.

talking to a decent psych and being able to cry about infertility and wanting a family, to the point i was willing to live as a man and take hormones to try and create male development in the vain hope of fertility, or saying about how i've been harassed for looking feminine and being feminine my whole life, and then transitioning and everything suddenly normal when i started passing as female, and her correcting me and saying 'but you are female'. i've never felt so listened to, so understood, or cried so much in front of a medical professional, or been hugged by one. she is the best of them. crying right now writing this sorry but it meant so much

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>>8290925
Idk, my other framily members have fairly muted emotions, i just have the least out of the bunch, I don't empathize. I dont have an urge to feel them, though i do wish i was "normal"

>>8291122
Idk is just a wtf picture i found on /b/ a few months back

>>8291214
Im fairly certain I'm not a tranny, i like being a dude over 80% of the time, i love being tall, reasonably strong.


I'm the star Of the show, while I'm a empty person i play the part that makes me happy. i enjoy cross dressing at any opportunity, Ive worn panties for the last 3 years, they are way more fun then boxers and painting my toes. I just think girls have more choices in clothing and their make up, so i play with it too because I'm secure in my self and don't have problem acting like a faggot in public, because I'm having fun and that's all that matters

I have no interest in sex, i just force it because my partner wants it and that's "the normal thing", but my heart has never been in it, I'd rather cuddle. As a result all the relationships fail even though I'm straight forward about myself wth my partners ast the start.

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>>8289540
>be me 20
>at university
>physician recommends i see therapist
>therapists are students in training
>first session, start talking about my abusive childhood
>therapist starts weeping
>advisor comes into room and stops session
>arrive at next appointment a week later
>i'm told i will need to arrange for therapy off campus as my childhood was "too difficult" for student therapists to deal with
>decide therapy is not for me and just deal with my shit myself.
tldr; i turned out okay in spite of it all

>>8292730
wtf was your childhood?

just point to the posts in the abuse thread if you already posted it there.

>>8292730
>therapist starts weeping
top fucking kek
How did you end up dealing with shit yourself?

How do I get a therapist in Canada? I think I have a family doctor, my mom made me set something up like 5 or 6 years ago but I've never been back. I've always had too severe of anxiety to ask my doctor for anything. Should I order anti-anxiety meds before seeing a doctor?

>>8291214
>I wonder what's with this trend of quick psychs but slow endos.
endos are way overbooked dealing with diabetics. It takes my mom 3-5 months to get an endo appointment for her thyroid problems, and all the local endos specialize in diabetes.

>>8291249
a high percentage of anxiety issues transgenders have is related to the brain not being in the right body. Often HRT corrects most the anxiety issues.

>>8294530
Doesn't seem to be the case gong by this board or the trans women I've met through my social circles. They all still seem to be pretty anxious with some bad coping mechanisms. I'm not doubting that HRT helps, but it clearly isn't the end all be all. I never said they weren't trans, they shouldn't transition, or that they shouldn't tell their therapist, just to clear things up.

>be 16 and coming out as trans
>you're just so brave... can I hug you?
>no
>oh, you're just so sweet. Here, let me squeeze you! BTW I'm transferring tommorrow so you'll never see me again.
>never see her again

>>8294661
wtf?

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Ok so knowing a lot of peeps here will be yanks,
I just, I cant comprehend paying for psychologists etc. I mean so you talk about your problems being trans whatever, then you pay them or vice versa, whats the point? if I was a yank I would just self med; skip the middle man, I feel like it would be so shallow to open up to someone for a price. Paying someone to listen. I mean at least with the NHS it doesnt feel as bad and the psychs CAN seem a little passionate about their job. Sorry but I just dont get whey yanks would even go there.

>>8294793
I'm on Medicaid and the ACA I don't gotta pay for shit

Trump please don't hurt me

>find local "youth" clinic that seems like the best shot at starting hrt (I live in a mini bible belt)
>ends up taking a while with doctors (I ended up self-medding for a few months before they gave me a script)
>going every week to bug them, do counselling too as an excuse
>counselors are all practicum students rotating through
>hit it off with literally the first one I talk to, she's there for like 8 months
>says she'd email me contact info once her practicum's over
>never does
>still talking to other counselors but I'm on my fourth, not gonna get that lucky again
;_;

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>>8289540
>sitting in on a 300 level introductory abnormal psych course
>proff is very jewy (of course, jewish proffs are ridiculously common, but this one for some reason just radiated jewishness)
>he gives a case example, asking what the diagnosis would be
>it's supposed to be PTSD, and someone soon after gets that
>but first, I point out there's Dependant Personality Disorder there
>at the end of the lecture, proff expresses surprise that someone actually noticed that

ummm, AmIDoinItRite?

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>be homo kid
>grow up in bible belt
>only 30 kids in my grade
>one other obvious closet homo kid
>try to make friends with him but he is stereotype homophobe and can smell the fag on me
>torments me for 12 years
>pretends to be my friend over and over just so he can betray me
>once told me he only pretended to be my friend to see how much I would trust him
>lonely and desperate for someone like me to talk to so keep falling for it like an idiot until around middle school
>after that he just becomes openly hostile
>senior year he gets outed by his obese "girlfriend" for cheating on her with a bunch of 40 year old men
>comes out as "bisexual"
>has to walk up in front of the entire school to accept his "most changed" yearbook award while they all laugh and catcall, and I feel more than a little bit satisfied
>years later look him up
>mfw now he is an LGBT specialized youth counselor in NYC
>mfw he is now helping kids like I used to be with the problems he used to cause
>mfw he is almost certainly doing it without even the tiniest speck of self-awareness

>Have a nervous breakdown at college
>Get sent to the campus councilor
>He asks me to describe my problems, listens attentively
>It's going pretty okay for a little bit
>He says: 'everyone has problems in life and it's up to us to fix them.'
>Okay. That's true, I have some introspection to-
>'The other day this guy cut in line in the grocery store...'
>He tells me this story about how a black guy cut in front of him when he was in line at the grocery store
>He uses ebonics for the black guy's dialogue
>Like, old school minstrel show shit
>He gets genuinely upset even recounting the incident

I did not go back.

>>8292730

>too difficult for student therapists

well where else are they going to learn to cope with hard stories lol

>>8289540

>see a counselor
>tell her that I'm thinking of killing myself
>"you're just catastrophizing"
>okie thanks haha that helps my problems arent real whopeee wow you just solve everything
>sobs
>ended up watching Mr. Rogers neighborhood to hear him sing 'I like you just the way you are"
>helps a lot
>canceled my appointment
>on waitlist for a new psychiatrist now

>>8291255

Then tell the psych about both and mention that it is your opinion that your anxiety comes from dysphoria.

Don't fall for people telling you that you can't inform them of both or "you dont know" if its your gender issues or not. Of course you fucking know it's your feelings and EVEN IF you managed to lie to yourself and convince yourself you're trans so you could have a reason to stop being anxious it is still incredibly worth bringing up both at the same time in the initial interview. You do NOT want to tell yourself that being trans is so easily compartmentalized from anxiety and depression since not only is that to be something worked through with a good therapist but you will hate yourself if you spent months or years fixing every single other issue you ever have to procrastinate addressing something you've felt all along.

>hook up with psychologist
>end up dressing like his daughter when he fucks me
>that there is some kinky shit that needs to be analyzed
>thankfully not my psychologist

>first psych
She was okay, it was pretty hit or miss actually, afterwards I'd either feel like a new person or just worse, she barely put me on any heavy meds so that was nice, helped me convince my parents? I actually don't know if she helped me with that or just delayed HRT until I was like 18 (I still got AAs for almost a year in between 16-17 so I'm not complaining), but eeither way she helped me a little bit so she's alright in my book.

>second psych
He's fucking great to talk to and very experienced, didn't even react negatively when I came out as trans which is kinda weird in my catholic city and he even encouraged me a little to go forward with social stuff, but I'm kinda nervous because he's expensive and he's put me on some heavy meds just yesterday so I don't really know what to make of him.

>>8295365

LMAO that guy is terrible.You mean he got upset at that black guy for cutting in line again as he was telling the story?

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>>8289540

>recent discharge from military
>seeing VA shrink
>older MILF type
>wears too much lip gloss
>talk about PTSD, stress, suicidal thoughts
>asks if I'm seeing anyone
>tell her I'm gay
>asks if I had sex with guys in the army
>yeah
>licks her lips squeezes legs together
>tell me all about it
>dirty details
>she loudly moans
>that's fascinating!
>time is up
>let's discuss this some more next time

wtf

>>8301029
She wants to be your faghag. I think that would be kind of fun to have a psychiatrist as a faghag you should totes go for it. Free therapy plus you guys can get smashed at the bar together.

>>8301029

>asks if I'm seeing anyone

Was that to hit on you or for the purpose of obtaining a clearer picture of your support structures?

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>>8301039

She's nice enough but she relentlessly grilled me for explicit details. The whole time she's squeezing her thighs and breathing heavily like she's watching Skinemax.

>>8301051

I honestly don't know. I can't read shrinks but it was clear she enjoyed hearing about my swishy experiences in the army.

She wrapped it all up in some psych babble about needing stability and affection. She seemed enthusiastic about seeing me again but I don't want to be some shrink's pet study but we'll see where it goes.

>>8301125
>She's nice enough but she relentlessly grilled me for explicit details. The whole time she's squeezing her thighs and breathing heavily like she's watching Skinemax.
She probs just thinks you're good looking. I've had female friends pry into my sex life cause they get off on gay stuff. It's a little weird but one of my best friends is like that and it actually makes it a lot easier to talk to her cause I can just tell her all the weird sex stuff and she's kind of helpful about it. It really helped me come to terms with doing gay stuff, even though I started taking hormones after that lol

>hesitant to tell psychiatrist about my gender issues
>finally ask him about the possibility of me suffering from gender dysphoria
>after I admit this he tells me that he thought that I was going to tell him something horrible (probably because of my hesitancy)
>he asks me what I'm sexually attracted to, and I respond that I'm attracted to men
>he explains my feelings away as me viewing the male body as ideal, because of my attraction to them, and therefore I want to be one

This was all before I realised that I'm also attracted to women. In fact, I'm more attracted to women now than I am to men, but my gender issues have still persisted. Because of this, I can't help but suspect that he pulled that explanation out of his ass. I literally got accused of having autoandrophilia by a psychiatrist, confirming that the Blanchardianism meme is not strictly limited to MtFs IRL.

>>8301275
>This was all before I realised that I'm also attracted to women. In fact, I'm more attracted to women now than I am to men, but my gender issues have still persisted.
Pseudobisexuality.

>>8289941
:')

>>8304503
I'm not that anon, but in which direction do you think the "pseudo" is?

>>8304630
He's an FtM so the pseudo is the attraction to women.

>>8304650
Isn't it the other way around? Because he was born female?

>>8304670
Nope.

>>8304670
Pseudobi is how A*Ps want straightness as their transitioned sex when their core orientation is that of their natal sex.

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Time to bump this thread
>See gender therapist in shitty european country a few times
>Have really bad dysphoria
>Tell him dysphoria is giving me panic attacks
>Still doesn't want to talk about hormones
>He is more interested in why I spend a lot of time in front of my pc

>>8291160
lewd

>>8295231
You do realize he probably figured out what he did wrong and wants to give back. But idk

>>8297360
>Mr. Rogers
Mah nigga

>>8309886
Trust me, I grew up with him, that will never happen.
Narcissists don't get better. I have no doubt he want's to "give back" but its not from any kind of remorse or self-reflection, it's because he grew up in the same hell-hole I did... he just got to hold his head high and hold onto what he considers as dignity.

Plus I've heard a couple things through the grapevine, he's still an obnoxious and malicious douche.

Oh well... who cares... I just need to sweep him back into my memory dustbin where he belongs. It was just the bald-faced irony that really hit me.

So based on this thread I've come to realize my aversion to mental health professionals is well founded, many seem like quacks

>>8304503
>>8304650
>>8306031

Just because I didn't immediately realise that I was bisexual doesn't make my bisexuality any less legitimate. If a gay person is in denial about their homosexual attraction, does that make them not gay? Also, I'm not transitioning because puberty made my looks too feminine to ever be taken seriously as a male. That makes the idea that my attraction towards women is somehow fetishising straightness bizarre, considering that I see my attraction to women as homosexual, as they're the same sex as me.

>>8310266

i think it's better to say mental health professionals are still human and just as susceptible to faults as everyone else.

>>8291322
you're a fucking dumbass, you think privatisation would fix things? it'd only make things more expensive. do you want a shit healthcare like the USA?

>>8291302
going to therapy is for pussies. Ofc, if anyone's having problems I always tell them to see a therapist, but I would never see one. I'd kill myself before that cause i'm not a little bitch also humour and laughing at shit is a coping mechanism tho it does get a little annoying when someone does that shit frequently but i just put up with it cause i know what they're going through and it's best not to be cunty about it

>>8290390
Why are mentally ill people most attracted to having their genitals chopped up and made into crude mockeries of the opposite gender's genitals and hormonally fucking themselves over for life?

To be honest, trans and psychiatrists/therapists are two sides of the same demented coin that is unfettered histrionism.

>>8289893
Because most LGBTBBQs have self-induced spiralling Cluster B disorders which DEMAND special attention and for people to feel sorry for them all the time.

>>8310716
Actually being transgender isn't considered a mental illness. It does need to be taken care of by transition or other coping mechanisms or mental illnesses can result. Also many transgenders have mental illnesses due to how they are treated by society.

>>8310733
It is considered a mental illness, enough people just screeched at enough psychiatrists and threatened them with job loss that (some) of them got together and said "not a mental illness".

>due to how they are treated by society
Ah yes, that damnable society doesn't indulge their solipsist whims by training their own subconscious minds en masse to misidentify genders. Forget that you can go to jail in New York for calling a man who pretends to think he's a woman a man, surely the reason for the continuing constant suicide rates of transexuals being comparable to other mental illnesses is just because society has in no way changed how it approaches transexuals. It's not your problem, it's The Man! Keep telling kids it's cool to be trans, that'll fix their lives.

>>8310742
In DSM-V transgenders were removed from mental disorders, and put in their own area, but as gender dysphoria, not as a disorder of illness.

In a transgender, the brain is perfectly fine, so is the body. They are just not matched for sex & gender. Because the brain is to complex to change and the part where gender is set is immutable and resistant to even torture, the body gets changed to match the brain.

>>8310755
>muh DSM
Yeah so like I said
>enough people just screeched at enough psychiatrists and threatened them with job loss that (some) of them got together and said "not a mental illness"

>In a transgender, the brain is perfectly fine, so is the body. They are just not matched for sex & gender. Because the brain is to complex to change and the part where gender is set is immutable and resistant to even torture, the body gets changed to match the brain.
That's a very scientific opinion anon.

>>8310763
It's the opinion of the American Psychological Association, the ones who write and publish the DSM manual.

>contemplating suicide off and on for the past six years
>get a free health screening at uni once I get there
>pretty much redflagged and diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety
>therapy is free at the uni so I give it a shot
>first therapist treats me like a toddler and is melodramatic as fuck
>gasps and covers her mouth if I so much as say I had a bad breakfast
>tells me dumb shit like if I smile more I will feel better
>switch instantly
>second woman is a grad student but at least gives me some respect as a fellow human being
>conversation is really fragmented because I was in a pretty fucked up place then
>she keeps saying "I think you're hiding something that's very important" but honestly still don't know what she had in mind
>try to explain to her how I feel unreal but she doesn't understand it
>after a couple of sessions all her advice seemed to be "just bee yourself"; how I just need to find people who share my interests and I'd be fine
>study abroad so I can't go to therapy
>contemplating suicide again
I didn't want to get into sexuality stuff because that's awkward as fuck and my identity is so tenuous I don't even know what the fuck I am attracted to anymore

>>8310773
So...like I said...

>>8310776
>>try to explain to her how I feel unreal but she doesn't understand it
read up on depersonalization & derealization
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

Good luck, that's some heavy stuff. Could be from coping with trauma. Read up on PTSD/CPTSD.
http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

>>8310776
Let me help anon:
The problem with your entire life is that your identity, your sense of self, is apparently bound up entirely in gender and who you want to fuck or are attracted to or, I would surmise, who you associate with.

Before you worry at all about counseling or gender or even consider trying to have any sort of new relationship with anyone, GET A FUCKING HOBBY. After that, DEVELOP A FUCKING SKILLSET. Subsequently, if you have not already done so, SEEK A FUCKING JOB. To be perfectly frank and not at all proper and psychiatric, depersonalization is often symptomatic of or worsened by not fucking doing or being anything or anyone. Maybe you're unlucky enough to come from money or live in a country where everything is free, for all I know, but either way you have to throw all of that aside and reconnect with basic survival necessities. Labor to eat and drink and have a safe area to rest your head at night. Disconnected from that, you will always founder.

>>8310776
>>8310794
>>8310791
Very good blog for PTSD/CPTSD
https://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/

>>8310800
I don't want to distract from the thread and turn this into a session. I have skills, hobbies, a job, friends, and all. It is all empty to me. It makes no sense.
>>8310794
Thanks anon, I have already looked into it. I am hoping I can amble around long enough that I reach some surface of reality. I think I will be all right in the end.

>>8310800
>GET A FUCKING HOBBY. After that, DEVELOP A FUCKING SKILLSET. Subsequently, if you have not already done so, SEEK A FUCKING JOB.
And how is one who doesn't have their gender settled supposed to do all that? Gender is fundamental to who we are. It underpins everything.

>>8310444
>If a gay person is in denial about their homosexual attraction, does that make them not gay?
No of course not, just like how if a pseudobi person is in denial about their pseudobisexuality it doesn't make them not pseudobi.

>I see my attraction to women as homosexual, as they're the same sex as me.
Interesting, describe your attraction and what makes it feel homosexual?

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as most here probably know by now I'm a degenerate who mostly prefers fwbs to relationships and is more into kink than sex

after my last suicide attempt (which was over being retarded and crippled, not to do with being trans) NHS Wellbeing set me up for a general mental health assessment

the woman spent the entire time talking about my tranny issues and literally couldn't comprehend the fact that I wasn't just transitioning to make it easier to have sex with men

(paraphrasing)
>"so what does a healthy future look like for you, other than employment, living independently and settling down into a stable relationship with a nice man?"
>"is that last one a prerequisite for me to have a healthy future? I feel like I'm not really looking for a relationship anytime soon"
>"of course it is, otherwise what's all this [gestures to my tits] for? you want to be able to have sex as a woman, right?"
>"I mean really I'm not thinking about sex at all regarding transition, it's more about lessening my gender dysphoria so I can cope with it"
>"you need to find a boyfriend though, you have to"
>"what if I'm into girls?" [I'm actually bi and more into guys but she was pissing me off at this point]
>"then why would you go to such extreme lengths to change your body that would mean you can't have sex with them?"

pic related is mfw

>>8311430
And the UK is supposed to be a progressive country.

Complain about her. That level of ignorance of trans issues is unacceptable, wasting your time with her heteronormative assumptions is unacceptable, and obsessing over you being trans instead of working on your actual issues is unacceptable.

She is a leech on the system and a waste of public money. If a country is going to be socialist it can at least do so in a slightly more competent way than by forcing you to put up with shit like that instead of something even slightly closer to actual help.

I've my second appointment with my gender therapist on Monday, final one before endocrinologist. Unfortunately it's focused on how my mental health issues could impede transition. Looking forward to it because I need to vent like a motherfucker about the fact the suicidal ideation I'd repressed for a good few months has resurfaced ten times as worse, despite everything in my life generally being on the upswing

>>8290738
because they are retarded cunt who know nothing more than their small minds

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Reading this thread made my blood boil, I fucking hate therapists, so much money wasted.
I'M SO FUCKING MAD

I'll never go back to one.
Worthless shills all of them.

>go to a LGBT counselor about depression, not being able to find a job, and waning relationship with boyfriend
>I mention I think my dad might be a legit undiagnosed retard/autist.
>She says she can help me get registered as a retarded person, go back to being a legal dependent to my parents, and get welfare and Medicaid.
>Into the trash she goes
This is why we have so many people scamming the system. They're paying their therapists $90 an hour to figure out how to get them NEETbux.

>>8311644
>go back to being a legal dependent to my parents
Why would you want this?

>>8311612
These are a lot of bad stories. There are competent therapists around. My current therapist is very good & LGBT friendly. She is helping me with my trauma issues and we've made some good progress. I only wish she would push me some harder. My previous therapist was also great, but I was hiding some stuff from myself so sell we couldn't figure out what it was. All the rest before, bad.

>>8310763
>enough people just screeched at enough psychiatrists and threatened them with job loss that (some) of them got together and said "not a mental illness"
You're delusional if you think many many times more Christians aren't screeching at them daily in an attempt to get them to accept the opposite outcome. The fundies are more numerous and powerful than the trans lobby yet APA came to these conclusions. Why? Either the more powerful, Christian lobby pushed them into it somehow or.. they arrived to these conclusions independently, based on their professional opinions, because they match the facts.

>>8312278
Interesting rationalization for why psychiatrists are only right when they agree with you.

>live in a big city
>eventually come out as trans and mommy pays for me to go to a gender-specialized therapist
>start hrt script after about 6 months of therapy, at 18yrs old
>go to endo and receive hormones

Who else comfy-passing middle-class with accepting family?

>>8311551
>UK
>socialist
>in the 21st century
pls senpai we're more actively fascist atm than the USA has ever ever been, about 96,000 disabled, mentally ill, extremely poor people etc. have died in the last 6.5 years as a direct result of government policies directed at taking away basic support from groups considered less of a priority to society, and our surviellance laws underwent an upgrade last year that puts us literally on the same level as China, that's what this whole election kerfuffle atm is blowing up about, the UK is as far from state socialism as it's possible to be

>>8312355
Sure, pick on semantics instead of addressing the post.

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>>8289900
meditate

>>8307916
Had pretty much same experience

>>8312365
>socialists
>addressing critique

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>>8290795
>tfw no one will ever describe you as having "strikingly feminine appearance and demeanor" and "lack of virilization during puberty"

>>8290795
>hairy cancer risk
What did xhe mean by this?

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if anyone here is from switzerland, dr G from basel is a tranny chaser, i had sex with him, lol. if u think hes hot u can literally just ask him if hes up for it, mind you, he wont do u any extra favors, he likes to seperate pleasure from work.

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>>8319693
Why? Did you pozz him or something?
I mean what makes you think we want your sloppy seconds?
Are we really that desperate that we can't get laid on our own but we need you to out some poor doctor who took pity on you and gave you some D?

>>8318611
does it get better?

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>>8310821
Do you have a willy or a hoohaa?
Do you want to have the other one?
Stop being melodramatic you stupid fuck if you don't feel like a boy be a girl and if you don't feel like a girl be a boy
No one fucking cares anyway but don't expect anyone to want to help you if your only response is boohoo I can't tell what's in my pants

>>8319942
you don't live in outer bumfuck. Here people care if you and feminine in a male body. It's a death sentence.

>>8312315
???
Other way around - my opinions are informed BY what the mental health community believes because they're experts and I'm not.

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>>8319747
why so mad anon? did u want him and he denied u cuz ur a brick?

>>8289540
>therapist appointment
>"let's look at some hons"
>k
>"what if you turn out to be a hon"
>means I gotta try harder
>"but what if that's not enough"
>then I have no reason to feel bad about it
>"good"
Done with therapy need letter in English for srs
>hi I called I need the letter again but in English
>"ah so you get a penis ?"
>wat.jpg
>"oh sorry didn't recognize you"
>"I don't have time to translate it and I don't know English so just write it yourself and I sign it"

I went to two "gender therapists" in my neck of the woods before getting a T script from an informed consent clinic a while away after turning 18.

The first one was when I was 14 and she was a general youth therapist. She made me go to a group therapy session composed of teenage girls, then said that I shouldn't start binding or trying to pass as male (I already was in turbobutch mode) and said that she would revisit the issue of hormone blockers or T "when I was 18" yeah lady, not gonna give you that kind of income.

2nd guy was through a referral from a physician's office, and I had asked for a gender therapist, but they gave me this guy that specialized in helping war vets and divorced men. He tried to understand, I guess, but after the second session with him I figured he wasn't just gonna give me a T letter at 16.

Is a therapist supposed to accept me as transgender? Or is he supposed to doubt me and test me to make sure I'm trans?

I'm going to a gender therapist and after 3 sessions he still calls me "he", "son", etc. (I'm mtf) Is that a bad sign? It's funny because I refer to myself as female and he refers to me as male when we talk (my language is gendered).

He also said that many people think they're trans because they think the other sex is better off and so they're not legitimately trans. That doesn't really explain dysphoria though. I can't think dysphoria away like that.

In short: is this guy's opinion worth something? He is a genuine gender therapist but I'm starting to doubt him.

>>8324843
>That doesn't really explain dysphoria though. I can't think dysphoria away like that.
That's where HSTS dysphoria comes from.

>>8319693

>dr G from basel

The first result I saw when I searched for this on Google was for a doctor working at a children's hospital. I was like, "What the fuck?" Then I realized that was an American. What age did you start at, anon?

>had been seeing my therapist for about 1.5 years for depression and social anxiety, psychiatrist also involved for diagnosis/meds
>finally get the courage to talk about my dysphoria and not being sure if I want to transition due to possible complications/passing
>she's really supportive, just being able to talk about it seems to speed up my progress with anxiety
>also talk about it with the psychiatrist, he's equally supportive
>eventually decide I want to transition, both of them agree it's a good idea
>I need a referral from the psychiatrist so I can get a diagnosis, then hormones and other treatment
>the psychiatrist isn't currently available so my therapist sets up a time with a different person for the referral, usual psychiatrist writes him a note about what's up, I'm told he'll pretty much just make sure everything's in order and then write it
>starts normal, he's asking basic stuff
>suddenly he says he doesn't think I'm trans
>I freeze and ask what he means
>says it's probably an issue in my childhood, that my mother was too dominant or some other issues
>I can barely hear him after that, feeling faint
>he wants to see me 4 times a week from now on for psychoanalysis
>panicking hard, barely able to speak, can't say no to him
>we agree on the next appointment
>immediately after exiting the building I message my therapist asking for an emergency appointment
>she messages back asking how things went
>all I send back is "bad"
>she knows what's up, makes some calls, cancels everything for me
>get my referral from the usual psychiatrist a bit later

Apart from this, all my experiences have been positive.

>>8311644
Holy shit that's too funny

>>8324843
>>He also said that many people think they're trans because they think the other sex is better off and so they're not legitimately trans
That's true, though I doubt as common as he's implying in cases where the patient actually seeks treatment. I think it's fairly easy to distinguish in most cases. Like, pretty much just having physical dysphoria confirms it. The same applies if you can even acknowledge that being a guy would be fine if it didn't intrinsically make you uncomfortable. There are always going to be cases with deep-seated issues which obfuscate things, but one should not assume it's the case that you're there because you think it's easier to be a girl until proven otherwise.

>Is a therapist supposed to accept me as transgender? Or is he supposed to doubt me and test me to make sure I'm trans?
They're supposed to be objective and help you figure things out. They shouldn't have preconceptions. They should test you but not doubt you.

>I'm going to a gender therapist and after 3 sessions he still calls me "he", "son", etc. (I'm mtf) Is that a bad sign? It's funny because I refer to myself as female and he refers to me as male when we talk (my language is gendered).
Have you talked with him about how this makes you feel and what it suggests of his perception of you? That would be valuable for exploring things and also perhaps getting him to consider things from a different perspective (and thereby perhaps make him more sympathetic towards the idea of you "really" being trans).

>In short: is this guy's opinion worth something? He is a genuine gender therapist but I'm starting to doubt him.
It's worth something, but keep in mind this whole thing is really subjective and there's not a lot of evidence supporting it. Different therapists different wildly in their views. Opinion is pretty much all he can offer. Take into account what he says, but ultimately therapists are a tool to help you figure stuff out; their judgement is by no means absolute.

>>8325973
>Have you talked with him about how this makes you feel and what it suggests of his perception of you?
Yes I've told him that being called "male stuff" (pronouns, etc.) hurts me. He doesn't seem to care much. Maybe I should insist but this is a very awkward thing to talk about for me and I'm a very shy person too.

>their judgement is by no means absolute
here in Europe their judgement is the only way to get hormones so it's pretty important

I was thinking of self-medding while this guy takes months to figure out that I am trans.

>>8326052
>here in Europe their judgement is the only way to get hormones so it's pretty important
>I was thinking of self-medding while this guy takes months to figure out that I am trans.
Yeah, if you already know you want HRT you should just do that. You shouldn't put yourself in the hands of a system like this where it's literally therapist lottery deciding whether you get medical treatment. How much do you actually need him to help you work out whether you're trans, as opposed to just helping you clarify your feelings better or as a way to get HRT?

>Maybe I should insist but this is a very awkward thing to talk about for me and I'm a very shy person too.
That's part of what the therapy is for. Insisting would also probably make him more inclined to think you're trans.

>>8325326
>he wants to see me 4 times a week from now on for psychoanalysis

Literally just wanted to bleed you dry for money.

>>8326066
I'm like 90% sure I'm trans because I've been repressing for years and I eventually realised dysphoria means being transgender. So I just need him for HRT. But of course he wants to see me a bunch of times first, at the expense of 100 euro each, to "make sure I'm trans". Every time I talk about hormones he kind of ignores the question because apparently it's too early for that. So of course I'm getting a PO box for qhi.

>>8289540

>tfw late twenties.
>have serious trust issues with the medical profession after being left in ER waiting room for 4.5 hours unattended with no medication holding the pieces of my leg together after a motorcycle accident.
>tried to talk to GP but bottled it in the waiting room
>tfw I cant ever see myself getting help for gender issues.

>>8325088
no hes of spanish descent, if ur not living in switzerland u shouldnt bother

>>8326165
that is fucked up
in which country did this happen?

>>8326187

Uk, I know we call it a&e not er here but i just use the international(american) terminology to blend in lol. It was a Sunday and they labeled me as low priority despite the blood pool that rapidly accumulated on the floor and being stretchered in.

Between that and referrals that never came I have lost all faith, cant stand surgeries hospitals etc anymore....dentist is the only professional I can get the courage to go to now.

>>8326223
I don't trust the healthcare systems of most european countries either. Especially for gender issues where you'll just be gatekept and milked for money by your therapist because of how subjective it is and because of how much power the therapist has.

>>8326234

Yeah if I do decide(mid twenties already...fuckit) to transition I would have to go private to avoid gatekeeping and waiting lists but I have a mortgage to pay a gf and car payments which leave me pretty fucked.

>>8319846
Idk, I stopped going because she couldn't give me any diagnosis

>>8326178

Yeah, I'm an American. I'm just curious to see what he looks like. I imagined he must be good looking if you bothered making that post. What does he look like?

>>8319693
>if anyone here is from switzerland, dr G from basel is a tranny chaser, i had sex with him
passers like you are fucking nasty

no wonder most passers are dying from AIDS

>>8329340
wew

>>8326276
>if I do decide(mid twenties already...fuckit) to transition I would have to go private to avoid gatekeeping and waiting lists
Yet you'll still be paying for the public healthcare through your taxes, and private will be more expensive in your country, and you might be disqualified from public healthcare later because you went private.

Sounds like public healthcare isn't so great for trans people.

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>first psychology session
>went super well
>she even congratulated me for starting self-medding while I was unable to go the legal way
>she says I pass flawlessly and she's pushing me to change my name as soon as possible
>says im super adorable and she wants to talk more and told me to email her and talk whenever I want
>wants to talk with my parents to convince them im legit

I was expecting the worst

>>8337390
this was today by the way

>>8289540
Told her about my issues and tranny stuff.
She told me to take Xanax and forget about this tranny business.

>>8337390
>tfw ywn encourage young trannies to transition because that's only acceptable from a cis female psychologist

>>8337420
>only acceptable from a cis female psychologist
why? is the fbi going to jail you or something if you are male and help trans

>>8337451
It would be creepy and I'd be an obvious chaser if I'm male or MtF myself.

>>8337471
If you are MtF I can see how people would judge you, but if you are cis male there really shouldn't be any problem.

>>8328505
only issue is his height, he's 5'7 otherwise hot, empathetic spanish daddy.

>>8337420
non-cisfemales can also help trannies acheive their dreams, just look at this hero:
>8334524

>>8289685
>"Wow! So it'll be just like a little penis! How neat."
Was she a chaser?

>>8337552
>>8334524 ?
or >>>8334524

>>8297687
intriguing...

>>8339301
it was weird. not bad but weird.

>>8297687
>tfw no psychologist bf who transitions me into his daughter

>>8341173

just to clarify, he wasn't my psychologist (or boyfriend, just a fuck buddy)

>>8341269
and you're not transitioning?

my fantasy is different

>>8341275
this was 10 years ago and I was 20. if I was younger and it was today, I might consider it.

>>8341320
why didn't you transition then?

>>8341371
really never occurred to me. I was just sort of a twinkish guy, but still a guy. i think being on 4chan has made me think about it as a curiosity but that's about it.

>>8341395
so you'd consider it if you were younger but only in the sense that you'd be curious?

>>8341402
correct.

don't get me wrong. i don't think there's anything wrong with people who transition and I enjoyed what I was doing with the psychologist but it would only be a curiosity to me, not a full-fledged issue with me.

>Go to therapy after watching a show about people in therapy
>theirony.jpeg
>didn't know what to expect going in
>therapist is also a gay male so that makes me feel more at ease
>see him for about 7 months
>he helps me with a lot of underlying issues such as my depression, social anxiety, cognitive distortions, even diagnosed with mild autism spectrum disorder
>iknewsomethingwasup.png
>get put on meds for a bit and that really helped my attitude and outlook
>after i quit my job and lost insurance he offered to see me for free for a few sessions

He is a good therapist, but the drive is kinda out of the way. The clinic that prescribed me my medication also offers therapy and is closer to me than my therapist's office so I decided to give it a shot. I'm trying not to judge but my new therapist is a LMFT and my last one is a LCSW so I'm wondering how much help she can really be to me.

>>8310800
>GET A FUCKING HOBBY. After that, DEVELOP A FUCKING SKILLSET.

i can't ever get this meme

i don't enjoy anything, I waste my time doing escapist shit like reading books, watching anime, or mindlessly playing videogames because it takes no effort

how am I supposed to "get a hobby" when I don't enjoy anything

>>8326165
>>8326223
Yet people love the NHS so much.

>>8341929
>I have all these hobbies
>how do I get a hobby

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>>8297687
Looks like your psychologist might need a ... psychologist.

>>8344474
that's not an actual hobby

it doesn't count

it's a solitary activity and it's not like I'm learning anything by playing videogames or watching anime

>>8289540

My last shrink told me that they couldn't fix any of my problems and I had to somehow find the motivation to fix them myself
So I decided paying them 20 dollars a month for them to tell me i basically had to do shit myself was pointless

>>8344556
Were your issues somehow extra tricky or were they just a shit shrink?

>>8344569
I'm an mtf tranny with anxiety issues and they were straight out of university so I think they were just inexperienced on how to deal with my situation

>>8344505
Depends what videogames. You could play fighting games or smash and go to locals and meet people. It's a very good and social activity.

>>8289540
I'm a therapist - new in the profession, only have experience with college students and with my latest job working with the severe and persistent mentally ill at a nonprofit.

I don't have any experience with gender identity issues but I'm open for questions.

>>8344833
How would you work with a patient who has gender identity issues and believes in Blanchard?

I know therapy "works" but I've been to some 5 therapists and they've all been absolute shit. Either make zero difference or negative difference. They all seem like they are in it for the paycheck (duh).

Also the suicide hotline is also shit. They will just tell you to call your local 211. Whatever. I'm still alive I guess.

>>8344833

What is the philosophy behind never ever giving direct answers, direct comfort, direct advice? And just making your patient do all the talking and asking them questions? You realize I get more out of talking to a wall, right? You realize I need help, right? Why do so many therapists take this obnoxious passive stance when I am dying inside? What are you guys being paid for?

Is it just....like to cover your own asses? Or has it been shown that talking to passive overpaid dweebs is more beneficial then someone who takes more active stance (like how talking to a friend might)? Or what?

>>8344854
Let me state right off the bat that at this poiint in my career, I would not want to work with someone specifically on gender identity issues. Part of my code of ethics is practicing within ones scope of expertise, and gender issues are not mine - I would refer the patient out to someone more competent with a good track record at working with trans people.

I'm neutral on Blanchard. I'm not willing to write him off nor am I willing to accept all of his theories. His theory on male birth order and homosexuality, for instance, is pretty intriguing and gaining ground.

For a trans person who subscribes to Blanchard and his ideas of AGP, I suppose I would work with them by validating their position, followed by questioning why it matters. For example, if someone truly feels they are transgender, why do they feel the motives/reasoning behind it are relevant? Whether it's due to a paraphilia gone wild or due to a more innate, biological factor, the end result is the same - if you're trans, you're trans.

It's like the pointless argument around being born gay or made gay through environment - once the orientation is set, it's set. The question is how does the individual want to deal with it from there.

>>8344873
>What is the philosophy behind never ever giving direct answers, direct comfort, direct advice? A

Because we are not you. There is no "direct advice" for your life - because it's yours. If you ask me my personal opinion on matters, I will give them to you. But I'm not going to "prescribe" life advice to someone who's not me. The entire point of socratic questioning is to guide you to your own answers - because those are the only ones that will matter for you in the end.

Let me ask you this - what DO you want from a therapist? We are there to guide and help - not orchestrate and direct.

But fuck it let's give it a shot - tell me why you're dying inside and I'll tell you what to do. We'll see how it goes.

>>8344905
>Let me ask you this - what DO you want from a therapist?
Not them but my answer to this is: being given new understanding and explanations about myself.

>>8344873
>>8344905
I do tend to give direct comfort to a point, btw. But if you mean comfort such as "I guarantee you everything is going to be fine," then no. That's not something I can guarantee anyone. But I do tend to normalize often, which most clients find comforting.

I don't lie to make people feel better. I don't lie at all to my clients. My goal is to empower them to the point where they no longer need to see people like me.

>>8344905

I want comfort and help. I can't help myself, that's why I ask someone else. This stuff is why I can't stand going to therapists. They always try to make me go. I hate socratic method. It does nothing and it makes you look like you don't care. If you are being paid (you aren't right now but you get the idea) at least pretend to care.

Right now I am in a good place for the first time all week and I want to stay there for now. If I try to revisit it I might be miserable again. But in general I have very bad anxiety about losing everything, economy tanking and being impoverish forever, people dying etc. And if life is worth living anymore with all of this. It gets very very severe to where I physically am feeling so sick and throwing up and doing so much research about "what if this" and "what if that" and etc. But that's enough of that, I don't want to go back to those thoughts when I just got out of them.

>>8344931
>being given new understanding and explanations about myself
If that is really what you want, you will have more luck eating magic mushrooms than you would speaking to a "therapist".

>>8344931
That sounds like psychoeducation - and I do plenty of that. I actually enjoy it. I'll probably retire eventually as a part time professor.

But to TRULY get you to come to aq new understanding of yourself, yes - I'm going to pose a lot of questions. Questions, if asked correctly, can give you a lot more information and understanding about yourself than me spouting off MY bullshit theories about who you are.

>>8344936

So if saying "things will be okay" is a lie, then you are saying life is shit.
I've been going to therapy on and off for years. Its just given me a real hate of therapists at this rate. Some are okay people. But ultimately, I feel like I get more comfort and real advice from people who love me. Who tell me they will be there for me etc. Who offer real help and real inspiration.

>>8344943
>I want comfort and help. I can't help myself, that's why I ask someone else. This stuff is why I can't stand going to therapists. They always try to make me go. I hate socratic method. It does nothing and it makes you look like you don't care. If you are being paid (you aren't right now but you get the idea) at least pretend to care.

Well it sounds like you've had some bad experiences with therapists/psychologists who just aren't that good at their job - or just some who's style you didn't click with. There are amazing one's out there, so don't be afraid to shop around if you feel you need to.

>>8344947
So learning psychology rather than visiting a psychologist is the thing to do for that?

I don't share >>8344873's view on questions entirely but I do want to hear more theories than only my own too.

>>8344957

I had some 5. 4 were okay, to where I didn't feel worse. Just like "well whatever that was an hour". Maybe 1 when I was having a full breakdown and she just kept on doing questioning like why don't you help? That was when I first got really disillusioned.
One was horrible like I felt worse afterward. But I don't know if she was socratic or not, she was more confrontational like I would describe something that hurt me and she would jump in like "well you DO seem touchy" etc.

The national suicide chat is all socratic, they call 'the protocol". Wtf I am dying stop doing the stupid socratic bs! Answer my questions! Help! Tell me I'll be okay tell me someone cares! Then they say "try 211 they can find you low cost therapist".

>>8344891
I respect your answer more than I expected I would.

>the end result is the same - if you're trans, you're trans.
This is something his work challenges.

>>8344936
>>8344954

And see, I can tell when you dance around giving me comfort. I can tell you are avoiding saying "life is shit". Its almost worse, because not only does it make me feel horrible about life and living, it also makes me feel like you just want the money and can't be honest (general you here).

I hate it.

>>8344968
>So learning psychology rather than visiting a psychologist is the thing to do for that?

It can be, yes. Different people respond differently to different interventions.

>So if saying "things will be okay" is a lie, then you are saying life is shit.

I didn't say it was a lie - I said I can't tell someone "I guarantee you everything will be fine" - because how do I know that for sure? You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I can already see that part of your problem is reading too deeply into communication and taking things to extremes when life itself is mostly a grey area. Of course, I wouldn't accuse you of that in a session - I'd make note of it and I'd begin working with you from there.

>>8345054
Meh, you may actually like me - I tend to be more of a straight shooter once I establish a decent relationship with a client.

>>8345141

Getting hit by a bus is exactly what I am scared of. It seems scary to survive, I'm so scared of what is going to happen to my life. I feel weird because most anxiety is about talking to people but I can talk to people okay, its just everything else that seems too much.

But thanks for your perspective.

>>8345174
Honestly, I would try to find a therapist you respect and feel you can work with. Obviously I don't know all your issues and where they stem from, and it would be irresponsible of me to offer any serious advise over the internet beyond that. The one thing I will say, however, is that positive change is possible. I've seen people recover from some of the most horrible, debilitating mental illnesses out there and lead happy fulfilling lives. Just start with a sliver of faith that things can get better for you and hold on to it.

>>8344480
the thought occurred to me, too

This is what worked for me.

Don't view a therapist as some with authority over you. View them as someone you are hiring to do a job.

If you hired a painter, you wouldn't say "I want my house painted" and walk away. You'd tell them the colors you want, how many coats, what the trim color would be, when you want the job done and figure out how long it will take. Then hold them to those details. You go back and look at their work to make sure they are following your orders.

After going to three therapists I took that approach with the fourth. I told her what I wanted to discuss, what I felt my issues were, what my goals were and when I wanted to see progress. We agreed on those details after a couple of sessions and went from there. And every few weeks I'd pull out my list and make sure we were addressing what we agreed to address and whether or not we were making progress.

After a year I took the list out, reviewed it with her, noted we had met the objectives of therapy and never saw her again.

>>8289685
>"I don't think you're a transsexual. You're just a nerd. That's normal! I bet your problems will dissolve once you get to college."

Holy shit anon she fucking roasted you.

>>8289565
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW0CFTsZgZM

>>8291302

You are a drain on your country's economic resources and an incredible failure to have that many therapists, I pity you and envy not being you.

>>8347717
No, the therapists are the drain on society.

>>8345989
the whole point of therapy for me is that i don't have goals...

>>8294805
Socialist moocher, I hope all you fucks die horrifically.

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>>8289540
I always fall in love with my therapists if they are male.
I guess it is called transference or something.
Like I get so horny just going to an appointment and then I can't concentrate on anything the whole time except how can I get in their pants.
Maybe it is because the first guy I went to was super hot and he used to fuck me until my parents found out.
He looked like pic related.
Literally a God-tier Adonis.
Huge penis. Straight.
But loved stretching my boipucci.
None of the guys since then will fuck me, even if I beg (which I have done several times, on my knees literally pleading to let me suck them off.)
They always stop seeing me and refer me to someone else saying they have conflicts and can't help me.
It sucks.

Okay, I'm >>8289685 and I forgot the best one.

>new psychiatrist
>don't tell him I'm trans (I'm a passing FtM) because it's not very relevant to the questions he's asking, am answering an open-ended question about child abuse
>telling him I experienced child abuse, drop a detail in there unthinkingly that indicates I was raised a girl
>dude goes WAIT WAIT
>"what"
>"what do you mean by [story piece]?"
>"Oh yeah. I'm transgender. I was raised as a girl and I transitioned a while ago. So..."
>"WOW! That's amazing. I'd never even know you're a woman! You got me!"
>"Uh. I'm not a woman."
>"Right, right."
>I keep talking while he stares at me
>During some other, also important and unrelated to being trans story, he suddenly waves his hand to interrupt
>"What?"
>"Okay, just curious, but how do you and your boyfriend have sex?"
> O :
>"Like who's doing what? I just want to know how it works."
>he looks so eager and interested, big shiny eyes
>I get up and leave

>>8351144
Pretty pathetic tbhq

My therapist told me I could not be a transgender if I had depression. In those exact terms

>>8354659
>>I get up and leave
Good for you. Did you still pay him? Did you complain? Did you find a better one?

Fixing his curiosity when it's irrelevant to the issue on time you are paying for is utterly unacceptable. The arrogance of these people.

>>8354659
the fuck is wrong with people

>>8354805
Thanks. I didn't have a copay that time and I wasn't about to call my insurance company to specifically ask them not to pay him, so I left it...I didn't complain to anyone at the office because the psychiatrists in that center kind of ran the show and I chickened out. I've had a lot of bad experiences with doctors and therapists around being trans, and normally I just stay quiet for fear of retaliation.

I did find a better one, but not by a lot. He was respectful but he was also severely depressed, to the point where I was comforting him about his personal life during the visit, lol

Believe it or not, it's the norm for a new provider to interrupt me and ask me "if I've had the surgery yet" at an irrelevant moment when I dislose that I'm trans. People just really gotta know that second, I guess.

>>8354823
If you don't want to complain directly, give bad reviews anonymously, write exposes that name names, complain to whichever organization approves the centers, that sort of thing.

Treating patients that way is insulting and arrogant as well as a rip off, and they are only going to keep doing that to people, wasting their time and leaving them with unfix problems or even worse off than they started, if they get away with it.

>but he was also severely depressed, to the point where I was comforting him about his personal life during the visit,
Jesus.

I'm a psychotherapist, working within Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services in the NHS. Whenever you get referred to, or decide to see privately, a psychological practitioner make sure you ask what their qualifications are, who accredits those qualifications and which professional body they belong to. Some psychological practitioners are very experienced but only in one particular therapeutic milieu and your particular difficulties may not fall under the recommended treatments for that methodology (see also N.I.C.E. guidelines in the UK).

>>8354659
No offense but you should have told him right off the bat. It came as a huge shock which is understandable. He probably was taken aback and needed to know more.

Bumpity because good thread

>>8367695
Delete your bumps after posting.

I had a dream last night where I was seeing a female therapist, and there were two in the dream. One was black and in charge. The other was white and the one actually seeing me. Now they were both beautiful but they both seemed to think I was attracted to them and they criticized me for it.

I know it's just a dream, but the thread's nearly been bumped off the board anyway, so I don't think it's a big deal.

>>8367704
Doesn't let me :(

>>8371730

Posts can only be deleted after one minute but not after many.

>>8371730
ur ruined everything :(

Bump dat thread

>>8289893
To trick the idiots into giving you yummy benzos or amphetamines.

>>8351144
>even if I beg (which I have done several times, on my knees literally pleading to let me suck them off.
iktf
t. barely passable mtf

>>8374269
ruined it again :(

Can anyone recommend therapists in seattle who are gnc-friendly/ won't give me shit for taking hormones while not being trans?

>>8376881
>won't give me shit for taking hormones while not being trans?
do therapists like this actually exist?

they already struggle to understand that trans people need hormones

>>8376881
Just go to the local LGBT orgs and ask who is good therapist for non-binary persons. Failing that ask for trans friendly therapists. Also there is Psychology Today's Therapist Finder website (
https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms
). You can narrow down on insurance, transgender, and area you need help. Like Trauma for bullying/harassment, PTSD, etc.

Had a therapist call me 'not human' when I told him I didn't experience feelings (due to trauma, but I didn't know that back then).

Incompetent idiot.