Would you date a girl with BPD? Asking for a friend.

>>8276139
what's BPD ?

>>8276141
black penis dinosaur

>>8276141
Borderline Personality Disorder

>>8276139
>girl
No.
Replace that with "guy" and yes... yes I would...

Yeah. A good person's still a good person. and as rare as they are, it's not something that'd stop me from giving it a try. What do I even lose, really? Not a lot. I think I could sniff out anything I wouldn't be willing to deal with quickly enough. Not like I haven't experienced that.

So yes. And give headpats.

>>8276141
Big puffy dick

>>8276139
No. I can't deal with that level of crazy. Last time I tried, it damn near killed me.

>>8276139
Nah, I don't fancy walking on eggshells with my partner.

I like myself to much to become involved with a BPD or a bipolar person again.
I like keeping my mental balance.

I would have sex with them though...

Having dated a girl with BPD, no, I would not do that again.

>>8276139
As a tranny with bpd fuck it I would we can both be crazy. It would be weird but I would give it a try.

>>8278621
your verb was killed in action

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>>8276139
I've read so many crazy stories about BPD people on other websites, there are even sites for victims of BPD-parents or similar...
Honestly i can't believe i am able to do such things. I have BPD and no one ever believed me. Sure, i don't know how others view me, if i'm really the same as all those psychotic people who have to mimic emotions? Apparantly i have fulfull all the criteria but somehow i have a boyfriend, i got a job, an education, i volunteered without telling anyone, i'm mostly stable...
Yes i'm trans but i have come to peace with it.

BPD contains a huge huuuge group of people with variyng degrees of disorders. Not to be such a buzzkill but i don't think you can compare one BPD with another. One may only be anxious, depressed and emotional while being bad in relationships, others may be totally angry all the time, have crazy mood swings and can't help but beat themselfes and others.

Most of the time i forgot i have 'bpd'

>>8278708
Dated one for almost 9 years and especially towards the end it was pure hell. Never again.

>>8278783
what did she do, do you mind telling us about her, about your relationship?

>>8276139
I've dated a recovered BPD. He was the sweetest thing and very non-crazy. He was very self-aware to the point of being a little paranoid about not hurting people, which was probably why.

One who is still BPD-y? No.

>>8278774
I've dealt with a few. All tend to default to treating people like dirt and being emotionally abusive.

>>8278787
Not that anon, but it was a process of slowly being convinced I was a terrible person for even daring to be different from her or holding views that were any different at all, or from deviating from what she thought I was like, which was way way WAY divorced from reality.
Then she started on a train of refusing to acknowledge my issues AT ALL while claiming she knew all about them. Despite being asked to be more supportive or at least supportive at all, she refused and set about making it worse.
Then I was suddenly branded as abusive and people were turned against me because her word counted as more than mine. THAT wrecked me emotionally; I couldn't stand myself after having hurt her. Didn't think I deserved to live.
After I nearly killed myself (decided not to hit a truck head-on at the last second because there was someone else in the car with me) the first thing I did after getting home was cut off all contact with her and everyone else who'd turned on me. That was the beginning of my recovery.

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>>8276139
I was friends with a BPD girl for 10 years. She completely ruined my life and my sanity and i hope she wakes up tomorrow with an inoperable tumor on the base of her spine

>>8278792
I'm sorry what happend to you. It's a shame that her vs your statement isn't worth the same, it's not fair. Was it easy to cut contact with her, did she try to contact or ruin you any further?

I assure you not all are like that. I'm not sure about myself but others told me i'm nothing like what you read about other bpd people, still i'm anxious others just try to comfort me instead of being honest. Many many BPD people i've met during therapy were super nice, we chilled all the time, laughed and cried together, did projects, went out together for a smoke and a coffee.. i would've never guessed those people have bpd. Well, of course i didn't know everything about them, i'm sure it was just the surface of their personality.

Jeez i don't know i hope i'm not like the people you talk about. I don't want to hurt anyone. Sounds like they don't even notice what damage they are doing, how they make your problems invalid all the time?
>>8278793
>>8278792
Looking back, why did you stay with her if i may ask? I hope it's not too personal. There had to be some positive things between you two?

>>8278798
>Was it easy to cut contact with her, did she try to contact or ruin you any further?
I cut ALL contact. Entirely. Stopped her from getting in touch with me at all, like the guy that cut off his own arm with a pocketknife because he couldn't get the rock off it and he'd have died otherwise.

>why did you stay with her
Because I loved her, and I 100% thought I could deal with it.
It's only when I found I couldn't that I had to give up.

I can only hope she didn't know what she was doing to me. I tried explaining it to her, but she didn't listen.

I don't want to discuss it any further. Too many painful memories to drag up.

>>8278798
You sound nice and sweet, anon. Most people with BPD aren't as self-aware as you, or go to therapy for it. I doubt you're anything like most of the BPD people described in this thread.

>>8278874
Thanks. I always try to empathize with others and i know how irrational BPDs can react or act without even realizing it. Honestly, i always think in black and white, there is no inbetween and it's so damn hard to aknowledge that. Stepping back for a moment and looking at the situation differently is a skill i learning during my therapy.

Same when i'm super anxious, have depersonalisation or have mood swings; there are ways to control that, skills to use to calm down. In my case most affective deplacements are against myself, not against others.
Hurting others is something i would never do, i always try to help others. Most of my colleagues are annoyed by me asking them all the time... it's like a 'helper syndrome' lol

be well, anon <3

>>8276139
as long as you mean girl and not ""girl"", sure

>>8278874
The assumption that everyone with a certain diagnosed condition are all the same, even in ways that they're 'supposed' to be, is not one I agree with. I've seen through my own mental issues. I'm predictable in some ways and entirely my own person in others. That's the kind of reason why I said earlier in the thread that I'd give it a chance. Having any condition doesn't consign you to being a bad person, and plenty of people are bad without any easy excuse.

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>>8276139
>BPD

Is that Bi Polar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?
(is there a difference?)

They say don't stick your dick in crazy and they say it for a reason.

But I've had hot sex with a few crazy girls in my time, so, yeah, I probably would.

But I wouldn't have (crazy) children with one.

Yeah, I'd date someone with BPD, I feel like I understand it pretty well.

My ex was convinced I had it but I guess not since none of my therapists thought or at least brought it up. I read a lot and watched videos about it. I actually did date a girl who had it once but she pushed me away. I can hardly get her to talk to me now it's especially hard since she lives away.

>>8280542
Fucking auto fill messing my name up reeeee

>>8280547

no one cares autistic namefag

My dad was diagnosed bipolar and never sought treatment.

You're better off dead than being someone like that.

>>8280600
>not existing is better than existing with a few problems

O-okay, anon, if you say so!

>>8280590
Wew lad

>>8278798
Leaving people with bpd is essentially impossible if they've decided that you belong to them.

Between the isolation they cause from ruining your reputation and making everyone around you think you are a rapist or an abuser so that no one will take you away from her,, to the threats of suicide, gaslighting, lies that she has cancer and I would be a horrible person if I left her along with the fact that it took me that long to realize she was doing a large majority of this behind my back

>>8280749
just delete your social media and move to another state.
that's what i did and i've never looked back.
bpd is cancer.

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>>8276139

Hellllllll no.

>>8280656
>untreated psychotic mental illness
>"a few problems"

>>8276139
My cousin just got out of a rocky as fuck relationship with a girl who most certainly has BPD, however undiagnosed. Seeing them still have to interact because of the joint custody of their toddler is pretty painful, its a big mess.

On the other hand, I would probably date someone with BPD if they were both diagnosed and fully aware of it. As long as they can work with it well, I dont see any reason not to.

They are usually the ones who go out of their way for attention and praise and BPD is a common relationship destroyer for young people so, I'd venture to say they are more likely to date than their non-mentally ill counterparts.

Oh fuck no. I mean the crazies are always the best fucks but people with BPD are the closest thing to evil comic book nemesis that we have in real life. NEVER AGAIN!

They'd have to be getting frequent, consistent counseling and visiting psychiatrists for medication for me to even consider it. The hell that I've gone through from my ex is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Crazy cunt. I hope she finds a way to control herself so she stops hurting everyone around her.

i have bpd. i wouldnt touch me from 2 yrs ago with a ten foot pole.
now im kinda better and less of a scumbag but i still have issues (mostly just self esteem stuff) , i am getting therapy though.
pro-tip: if a borderline says they dont want to recover or get better or go thru DBT just leave. its not worth it. i wish the people around me told me to get my shit together earlier.

>>8289254
also not all borderlines are the same. theres different "types" but they all fit the criteria
the angry ones who refuse to get help are the worst. theyre usually the most violent.
there are others who are very depressive and have the worst self esteem and ask for reassurance 24/7.
im a mixture of the both but im wayyy better. i had to have my reputation ruined for me to realize i was being an abusive cunt. god, i hate my fucking brain.

>>8276156
>Replace that with "guy" and yes... yes I would...
Why?

>>8276139
>Would you date a girl with BPD?
already did that, regretted it, but yes i would.

>>8276139
im medically diagnosed with this and a girl

i wouldnt date myself, im a mess.
i dont understand how my s/o tolerates me when im in crisis.

Is it possible that BPD makes someone MORE attractive, at least to certain people?
>But I've had hot sex with a few crazy girls in my time, so, yeah, I probably would. (>>8280447)
seems to point to it.

On another note, what are the warning signs, so you can recognize that someone has BPD before it's too late, and you're trapped?

>>8291817
>trapped

How could you be trapped unless she has your kid?

>>8291825
I mean it in the sense of
>Between the isolation they cause from ruining your reputation and making everyone around you think you are a rapist or an abuser so that no one will take you away from her,, to the threats of suicide, gaslighting, lies that she has cancer and I would be a horrible person if I left her along with the fact that it took me that long to realize she was doing a large majority of this behind my back

>>8291839
All of that sounds reasonable, it's just to keep you from ever leaving her. As a trans woman, I have no positive or desirable traits, so this just sounds like the kind of thing you have to do to maintain a relationship.

>>8291857
>tranners strike again

No, I would not. I actively despise all people with BPD. Yes, this includes you.

However, BPD is a severe mental illness. I also have a severe mental illness. It just so happens that yours makes mine worse, and I'm sure I make yours worse, too. I do pretty well when you're not around, and don't want to hinder your progress. So we need to stay away from each other. I would be interested in hearing how we can achieve that.

When people with BPD keep their distance, and actually manage to be consistently honest, we can fight against stigma together. In theory, I can respect them and support their struggle. I think borderlines can achieve some form of stability if they don't date, or only date each other. Speaking up against ableism is part of my ethics. BPD is a part of that. You don't inherently deserve to be mistreated.

On a personal level, though? You are incapable of leaving me the fuck alone. You don't deserve my attention. Your feelings are boring and insignificant. Your attempts at being seductive are clumpy and uninteresting. Your lies are transparent, we talk behind your back all the time, and everyone knows. Sure, you can lie in bed all day, but stop whining about it. Other people are actually achieving despite being just as ill.

Feeling abused/like a victim is okay, and a valid description of your reality. But it doesn't mean someone else is an abuser. It also doesn't mean that you are blameless. In fact, borderlines are fucking harmful to most psychological profiles. And saying you'll kill yourself does count as emotional blackmail.

I am engaged to that one person who you've always felt was perfect for you, if only you were as perfect as me. But you're not. You are just you, aren't you? Boring little old you. Learn to deal with it. Because whenever you cross a boundary, I smile and cut into your soul, taking pleasure in hitting the nerve just right, hoping to hit those 1 in 10 odds.

Getting better is a one person job. You're alone.

>>8276139
No. That's a load of baggage that is rarely worth it.

>>8278783
>>8278793
>>8278615
>>8278708
>>8287161
Care to share your experiences?

>>8291817
If you are attracted to borderlines, you are the one trapping yourself, not them. Don't shove your emotional issues unto others.

>>8278874
It's very easy to sound nice and sweet on the internet.

>>8292131
>If you are attracted to borderlines, you are the one trapping yourself, not them. Don't shove your emotional issues unto others.
I'm not, learn to read. I've never met any BPDs.

I think...think...I already have

Would never do again

>>8292240
Apologies.

If a person is attracted to borderlines, they are trapping themselves. I pity borderline chasers, and find them as pathetic as their typical partner. They could use some therapy. Learn how not to shove their emotional issues unto others.

Better now?

>>8276139
Question coming from a BPD trans woman: Why do you guys actually care if we hate ourselves? I mean that's where all the "bad stuff" comes from, but first of all, how does that affect you at all? It's not like we hate YOU. And second of all, if you hate us so much, shouldn't you agree that we're unlovable and deserve to feel bad? So aren't we right to hate ourselves?

>>8292287
>Better now?
Sure.
Have you ever met any bpd people? Stories?

>>8292290
People with BPD hurt others anon. Unless you're the high-functioning kind?

>>8292318
Several.

Highlight reel of horrors:

- Forced eye contact, because blinking = abandonment.

- Threatening suicide if Boy goes to the movies.

- BPD ex makes my then-boyfriend-of-two-weeks an extremely personal coloring book, with line drawings about herself and their relationship. Starts dating his best friend the week after. Stalks me online and tells me her pet name for his penis. Eventually calls him crying and tells him she wants him back. (He hesitates, I dump him on the spot, she abuses him for a few months before dumping him for the 3452345th time. I don't take him back.)

- BPD classmate has a fight with best friend. Best friend likes me. We go to a concert. Suddenly SOMEONE puts death threats in people's pockets and signs with my name.

- Ex cheats. Calls me. I have to console him. See, he feels so guilty about cheating, can't I see how hard this is for him?

- Crying and saying she'll kill herself because Friend won't get a pet. Claims abuse after he doesn't take it seriously.

- Endless threads on Reddit etc to gain sympathy with a largely fabricated story. Elaborate attempts to gather a white knight army. Lots of online ridicule.

- Thinks 'sex' is just assuming positions you'd see in porn, then moaning. No actual engagement, just posing. Awful in bed.

- Burns down house.

There's a lot more but I'm tired and need to sleep. I don't even remember most of the shenanigans.

>>8292533
>He hesitates, I dump him on the spot
Good for you.
>Burns down house.
Jeez.
Thanks for sharing anon.

> Thinks 'sex' is just assuming positions you'd see in porn, then moaning. No actual engagement, just posing. Awful in bed.
>[all the stuff about "abandonment fears" in this thread]
Would people here say that with BPD look "phony" when expressing emotions, or have some other outward signs of attachment problems? That could make them easy to spot if you know what to look for. Or are they good at faking emotions? (I assume not)

>>8292659
Borderlines tend to come across very earnest in their emotions. Since they're having all of them, 100% all the time. But it depends, I guess. They do often come across as 'phony' or inconsistent because they struggle with their sense of self. And most of their interactions are about power/control. Either giving you power over them (whether you've asked for it or not) or demanding power over you (whether you consented to it or not). They are cutesy about it, though. Light flirting. "Oh, I am so helpless and socially awkward, haha." Perceptive jokes. Attention.

Look up 'love bombing' and 'trauma bonding'.

I can spot 'em fairly easily. If this thread is still up tomorrow I'll share some more. New to /lgbt/, no idea how long threads last here.

>>8292045
What's your illness

>>8292045
>I am engaged to that one person who you've always felt was perfect for you, if only you were as perfect as me. But you're not. You are just you, aren't you? Boring little old you. Learn to deal with it. Because whenever you cross a boundary, I smile and cut into your soul, taking pleasure in hitting the nerve just right, hoping to hit those 1 in 10 odds.

Lol. This is why us borderlines hate you people. Because you know exactly what you're doing and how it will affect us, but you do it anyway.

Dated one for two years, would do it again.

>>8276139
>Would you date a girl with BPD?

Treated or untreated? Honestly, run for the fucking hills unless you know for sure that she's had extensive amounts of therapy and counseling under her belt to manage her symptoms. Untreated BDP is an absolute nightmare for anyone involved with the person effected.

Don't let that strong passion, wild sex, and her telling you that you're the best person on the planet fool you - she would say that to anyone who gives her attention - it's part of the disorder. One minute you're the god of her universe and the next you're the lowliest piece of shit in existence. If you can put up with a roller coaster like that on an almost daily basis, have fun. Otherwise, run.

>>8292045
I agree with this, except for the last line. People do need help to recover from shit, if only to tell them they're going too fucking far.

Personally, I suffer from depression, and people pulling petty drama on me all the fucking time makes it worse, and hampers my ability to fight it.
Since depression nearly killed me at one point, anything that makes it worse has to go, or has to be changed.

>>8294110
See, this is why I hate you borderlines. You're always the special fucking snowflake, and I don't care.
Even if I were neurotypical, I'd have trouble caring.
But since I'm autistic and already struggle with empathy for people I don't actually know or care about, you can fuck right off.
Especially if you try and wriggle through my defences like my ex did. Always assuming I should know what you're feeling is fucking ableist, because I fucking CAN'T. I barely know what I'm feeling half the time and can't see things from anyone else's point of view any of the time. Trying to do that emotionally is downright impossible, especially when that person only cares about themselves and will happily fuck me around and break my heart and tell me it's for my own good.
There's a reason my ex is an ex. She's what nearly killed me.
And you people need to fucking warn people about your crazy, so I don't end up single for the rest of my life for fear of coming across another crazy.

>>8296475
It also works the other way. I have extreme empathy, and it made it hard to ever leave because I "understood" and "empathized" with her when she was in wrong. Fuck.

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>>8292045
l i t e r a l l y s h a k i n g/10

Depends if they like me. I'm kinda socially awkward and not great at interacting with people or creating a social group. I've found that borderlines aren't terribly interested in that. It doesn't give them enough stimulation or drama.

>>8296576
t. dependent/self sacrificing personality btw

>>8296475
> I agree with this, except for the last line. People do need help to recover from shit, if only to tell them they're going too fucking far.

You're right.

Borderlines tend to hold others responsible for their mental health, though. That's not just support - that's expecting someone else to recover you for you. They want to be carried like a precious baby while they seep toxic gas and hit you in the face. TOPKEK.

Thanks for speaking up about your perspective, too.

Feminism is slowly becoming more sympathetic towards people who have low empathy. Borderlines used to dominate discourse about abuse, but that's changing. Keep on talking about your experiences with their abusive tactics. They deserve to be dragged into the light.

>>8276139
after killing stalking came out theres a lot of people who's suddenly turned on by BPD

>>8296475
It sounds like you're the one who would be dangerous for someone like me, and not the other way around tbqh

>>8297377
And you sound like someone who'd try and change me by trying to make me do a little bit at once, until I realise you want me to cut my hair, stop listening to heavy metal, and be 'nice' and 'normal'.
Fuck that, and fuck you.

>>8297183
>Keep on talking about your experiences with their abusive tactics.
But I don't WANT to talk about it, nor do I want to deal with feminists or feminism.
I just want to get on with my goddamn life, forget about my crazy ex, and rebuild my mental health.

>>8276139
If you like roller coasters.

>>8297377
Nice flipping it around.

Why would you know better what's bad for them? Your wish to be a blameless victim is showing.

Dated 2 BPD women. One didn't get diagnosed until after the relationship ended. Never again, that insanity.

Had one close online BPD friend who was a compulsive liar and insanely manipulative. The world was against her, nothing was ever her fault, she was always the victim. It was easy for her to play the tragic hero because I lived half a country away and couldn't check facts. I used to cry myself to sleep sometimes because I was so afraid for her. Eventually got tired of the emotional rollercoaster after a few years, figured out she was a lying piece of shit once my loyalty started wavering, and cut ties.

Have 2 BPD friends currently, both female. One seems okay, but we naturally grew apart many years ago and it was fine by me. The other is very sweet, considerate, and supportive - but then again, neither she nor her psychs are actually sure she has BPD.

>>8276139
Grew up with a BPD parent.
It was absolutely horrific, and I avoid anyone that I even think might be BPD out of principle.
Seriously, don't do it.

Never. These people are humanoid cancer. Send them all to the Easter islands.