Trans Help General #141

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How do you train your voice without wanting to slit your throat?

Every time I try, I cringe at the sound of my girl voice. I sound worse than Blaire White when I do, and I'm not entirely sure that I even can train my bass radio voice to anything that sounds female, and not just something that sounds like a caricature of a woman. Combine this with living with two people who know you are trans, but are really anal about it, the best I can bring myself to do is sing a tiny tim song in falsetto.

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i had made a thread and hadnt noticed this one, so I will post it here

How can I end up looking like pic related? Ive started to make a plan to transition and Im using Alexis Ren as the inspiration for the kind of woman I want to become, because shes gorgeous and the same height as I am, I know it will be hard and take years, but Im willing to sacrifice for it. How do I do it?

>>8258352
You probably just don't to be honest. Stay realistic, but never stop trying. Make the best out of yourself, friend.

>>8258352
It depends on what you have to begin with really.

How do I gather the will to make a decision? I need to either transition or not but I'm just stuck staring at the walls around me and it's ruining me. If I transition I will be a miserable, nasty hon and die alone. If I don't I will be a miserable wistful wretch and probably die alone. I see no realistic future in which I'm happy or even just not unhappy. I don't want to kill myself and die in vain but there's nothing I can sacrifice my life to fix either. I hate it all so much.

>>8258179
go to a voice coach.

I get periods on and off where I'm very dysphoric. I've tried getting /fit/ and /fa/ to battle these feeling and it works most of the time, however I just don't know what to do.
I feel like I can't transition at 24... I'll end up like Narcissa if I do, unable to pass because I transitioned too late

>>8261533
Narcissa's problem isn't that she was too late, is that she's absolutely fucking nuts.

Stop this, Seek professional medical help, See a psychiatrist, Try medication, If a doctor tells you the way to get better is to go deeper down the rabbit hole and mutilate yourself so they can take your money then they are not a very good doctor.

>>8261566
Okay Dr. Anon, I'll get right on that.

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>>8261642
>Get aload of this guy trying to talk reason backed up by Science

>Pretty sure I just have a womans/mans brain inside a mans/womans body and surgery is the fix

>>8261657
Is Science what you call you ass? Because you just told us to ignore doctors, backed up by science, with doctorates and practices and shit.

How representative are people in leddit transpassing for the ones that started around 20 ? My moodb s currently yoyoing between being super fine and completely panicking due to being scared to end up not passing, or if I end up passing, having something off (uncanny valley kind of), like I can often discern in the one I'd consider look like girl in that subreddit.

>>8263334
Fuck my head is in the fucking cloud I forgot all the plurals for the last part of this. Sorry for crappy english

>>8263334
>>8263343
And I meant r/transtimeline, but I guess transpassing works too.

I'm worried how transitioning will effect my career. I work a white collar job. This is a major down side for me and the one thing that's prevented me from going forward for a couple years now. (Only 23)

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>>8263385
I'm having this same issue. I'm early into my transition and don't pass yet, so I still go out as male but I dress and act pretty effeminately. I'm

I work an office job with a fair amount of people that I interact with every day. When I'm finally ready to make the leap and present as female full-time, how the hell do I manage this in an office environment without drawing attention to myself?

P.S. I need new glasses soon. What should I be looking for shape-wise with frames? I want thicker frames but also in black, I just don't know what would work to help my face appear more feminine.

>>8263385
>>8263427
What are the jobs? Maybe transition in boymode? Definitely contact HR.

>>8263474
Videogame bugester. The environment is pretty lax despite being in a white-collar office, I already work with a bunch of other weirdos. The whole point is I just want to transition quietly without drawing attention to myself. I don't know if talking to HR would help in that endeavor.

>>8263474
Power Engineer at a fortune 500 company :/ it's pretty conservative business casual on the business side.

I actually like my job is the problem.

>>8263368
both subreddits are a little bit biased because people who pass post more. I had my timeline posted in timelines for a bit without makeup on, which people seemed to like. I've removed it since though. I started when i was 21, i am 24 now. I looked like a Chad in the beginning but i look like a normal girl now.

From my experience in real life people who start at 20 and put in some effort into their transition generally will pass. I work at a place where i see lots of trans people come by and most 20-somethings pass.

>>8260716
I want to, but I'm a bit low on cash, and all the specialists are a few hours away.

>>8258049
I go from maybe life is okay as is to life isn't worth living as a man. I go from knowing I'm trans to thinking I've made it all up as some sort of coping mechanism for other mental illnesses like depression or anxiety or something. I am pretty sure I'm trans though. I just think I make up excuses to not transition. Anyone else ever experience something like this?

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>post in every help thread
>never get any (You)s
Am I beyond saving?

>>8264168
I'm sorry anon I'm a repressing tranny I have no way to really help people. I'm sure you aren't beyond saving though.

>>8263674
>almost 23 and still haven't seen a therapist or personally decided whether or not I'm trans
>face could probably go either way
Should I just resolve to a life of repression already?

>>8263674
>>8265405
>almost 21 and still haven't seen a therapist or personally decided whether or not I'm trans
>face could probably go either way into the trash where I belong
Should I just resolve to a short life of killing myself already?

I'm going to try putting together a list of my mental/emotional problems tonight to see if reading it tomorrow will give me the strength I need to finally seize the opportunity and go see a therapist.

Wish me luck.

>>8265405
I AM 23 and I haven't seen any therapist or anything I know i'm trans though. My face could also go either way. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it though. I hate myself so much I don't think I'll make it to 30 the way I am now.

>>8263427
Just go full time already. No one will care bacause you're SO CUTE!!

I'm telling myself that there's no point in starting because it won't be real enough, but the idea of just giving up completely makes me feel horrible. I'm 27, nearly 28, is there even a point in trying?
I want to just desperately cling to my boyfriend for emotional support and hope I can make it without transitioning but I'm scared he's gonna get sick of my anxiety and moodiness and just dump me I feel so worthless.

>>8263674
Ah, thanks, that's actually the opposite of what I thought.

As a guy, I recently found myself in an online community where I'm referred to and treated as female. It's multiplatform and they know I'm a biological guy, but they keep referring to me as my character's name and treat me as such, not that I've stopped them.I find myself really enjoying this kind of treatment, and even get a little adrenaline rush when they call me female names.

Biologically, I'm a guy and have recently come to love my physicality, and I don't think I'd be comfortable with transitioning, so my question is where do you find outlets for this sort of gender fluidity?

I weigh like, 250 at minimum-- I'm wanting to lose weight but a lot of it is apathy about the fact getting in shape wouldn't want to be in-- Being overweight has helped me pass as a woman and fill bras better.. Should I wait until I start hormones until I begin to really work out? Or should I just go for it??

>>8266832
lose as much weight as you can prior to transitioning it will help since it's harder to lose weight on hrt

>>8266821
crossdressing

can someone psychoanalyse me?
whenever I go on the internet I use female avatars/tell others I am a girl/play with female characters
it makes me very happy
but I don't know why?
are there any questions I can ask myself to figure out why I like to be female online?

>>8267201
https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/faq-on-the-science/

Questions
https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/2016/03/29/revised-edition/

>>8267233
pls no memes
srs replies only

>>8267233
Don't listen to this suicide bait

>>8267266
>suicide bait

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20, M, pre everything, 'lesbian' subhuman/AGP/transbian/ whatever the new cruel memes are.
Last night I dreamt my high school crush was disgusted by the fact that I was a tranny. At first she just acted indifferently to me which was rather out of character. She gave me an angry glare before calling me a freak and yelling at me to go away. She ran at me and started hitting me until everything went black. I then found myself in the body of a polar bear in a large early 1800s southern French mansion wherein I killed roughly 20 people before waking up. I was looking for something one of them had but don't recall what.
What does it mean?

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>>8267537
http://www.dreamdictionary.org/

>>8267537
Well obviously you hate yourself for being trans and are projecting that onto everyone else. The French polar bear is probaby something else entirey.

>want to talk to trans friend privately about my feelings and her experiences
>don't want to talk about it because then it will become "real"
>too old/tall to transition well anyway

>>8268005
They're not your psychiatrists either, contact a professional.

>>8269559
>They
She, you transphobic bigot.

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>>8258049
Can ffs reverse itself? In other words, can bones regrow after being chopped away?

>>8266832
During assessment therapy and possible surgeries in the future they will advise you to lose weight so get used to hearing that. I would suggest to start losing weight, that way the doctors would know you are serious about this. Don't have to go all /fit/ mode before or during transition.

>>8269559
Ha. My past experience with psychiatrists, and a lot of what I've heard, has been horrible. I just want someone I know to share stuff with (not anon) who I actually know and has EXPERIENCED IT. I don't know where to find a trans psychiatrist.

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>>8269722

>>8269828
What does this image mean?

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>>8269811
Why? You have to remember psychiatrists aren't magicians and won't have magical powers to fix you unless you work for it as well.

>>8269844
That you're dumb af

Any brits here?
I've just told my gp that I'm a transwomen, how long can I expect before I get titty skittles.
I'm in south of England if that makes a difference

>>8269861
10 int is average though

>>8269868
Fuck yeah finally someone who knows their D&D

>>8269890
It's also pretty normal in dark souls which is what the image seems to be from... not really dumb. You only need like, 12 int to know magic?

27/5'7/140lbs/white male here
now on my own and wanna be a female.
heard estrace is good. take 1 pill every 6hours?

am in kentucky.
links to buying estrace?
>tried inhousepharm - they do not take cards anymore

i can provide pictures of me if you want.

>>8269943
just bought; https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/310613944752406538/312330657252507651/unknown.png

now to wait 7days

>>8267201
Bump
I just got a meme link

>>8269862
It'll take forever. Extreme waiting times plus gatekeeping. You really should be self-medding (then tell them you're self-medding and they should fast-track you since you're not going to stop and they don't want you to hurt yourself, and if not you'll be on HRT anyway so it's fine).

It took me approximately 3 and a half years in total. Others have reported similar or even longer waits (though some shorter also). I regret not self-medding all the time.

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I'm curious. What's your guys opinion on suicide?
I get that it's the cowards way out but what's the point in living when you're an unpassable mess anyways?

>>8270053
Must be exciting. Isn't that $120 a month (4mg/day) though? You'll want to pair it up with spiro.

>>8270106
Did you read the links?

>>8270247
Yeah
They don't answer my question at all

>>8270262
>>8267201
Do you like being seen as a girl by other girls, guys or both?

Do you imagine being in girl any other times, such as identifying with female characters in stories, inserting as the girl if you watch porn, dressing up as a girl?

How sexually attracted do you feel towards girls? Towards guys?

>>8270215
what effect does spiro have?

>>8268005
>>want to talk to trans friend privately about my feelings and her experiences
>>don't want to talk about it because then it will become "real"
>>too old/tall to transition well anyway
I know exactly how you feel except I'm 5'9 so height isn't that bad. I'm so afraid of bringing it up and everything being real. I kind of wish I could bring it up to someone though whether it be parents or a friend.

>>8270354
It lowers testosterone to female level. It also makes you pee more as a side effect.

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>>8258049
Why is so much hair coming out every time I brush my hair!?!!

I just brushed it and, I could count 15 strands of hair that were pulled out, wtf!?

HELP!!!

>>8272600
That's not that much... ?

>>8272600
You're either
- going bald
- have a hair color that has lots of strands so the fall out is not so bad (i believe redheads have the most hair strands, blonde least)

>>8272600
has this been happening only recently?
do you brush often? if you don't hairs that would fall normally without you seeing them might just keep stuck to the hair (its not necessarily better to brush more)
you can also just have a lot of hair

>>8270329
>Do you like being seen as a girl by other girls, guys or both?
Both. With girls I can talk about girly stuff like makeup, clothes, skincare, hair, etc which I need to know more about to look good and also talking about that stuff with girls makes me feel accepted as female and happy.

With guys: guys are kind and affectionate if they see me as a girl and also I can imagine being their girlfriend and I have daydreams about hugging/kissing/holding hands/going out together while imagining myself as a girl (and also shorter than them).

>Do you imagine being in girl any other times, such as identifying with female characters in stories, inserting as the girl if you watch porn, dressing up as a girl?
I used to play dark souls a lot mainly because I could create a female character and explore a fantasy world. When I do that I also like to dress up a bit as a girl (leggings, women's shirts). It was my dream to cosplay as a female game character while playing as her but I never did that because I feel that I look too masculine and I don't think it would look good. Also can't play games with a male main character (for ex. got bored of the witcher 3 very quickly because I didn't want to play as the strong witcher guy). When I was a kid I wanted to play pokemon with the girl character but I was too afraid of my mom and friends seeing that so I did it in secret sometimes.

Haven't seen porn in years, but pretty much all my life when I would read an erotic story/ see hentai images I would imagine myself as the girl. Whenever I read an erotic story I look for one written from the female perspective.

Don't read novels much, but some of my favorite anime characters are female and I guess I kind of identify with them/ I want to be like them.

>How sexually attracted do you feel towards girls?
Not much, maybe not at all.

>Towards guys?
Probably quite a bit. Still haven't done anything sexual with either a girl or guy though so I can't be 100% sure.

>>8273333
>>8270329
I'm sorry this ended up so long. I actually reached the word limit. Thanks for asking serious questions though, they helped me think a lot. Also, for some reason whenever I start writing about this on the internet I can't stop, but in real life talking about this stuff gives me anxiety and I am too afraid to do it.

>>8273349
I feel the same way about talking about this sort of thing on 4chan. To those close to me I'm emotionally distant and I can't recall a single serious conversation I've had about something to do with me or my emotions. I would rather wallow in depression and self pity for the rest of my life rather than ask someone close to me for help on personal topics like this. However, get me on 4chan and I go out telling my life story to anyone who will listen. It's weird as fuck but cathartic to a degree.

>>8273379
Yes. Are you me? It makes me feel better to talk about transgender stuff on 4chan. But in real life the last time I tried to talk about this to a therapist I started panicking, couldn't breathe and almost started crying. Then I spent the next two days having panic attacks and regretting talking about that to someone.

>>8273414
I am not you, since you actually were able to go to a therapist. I keep saying I'll walk through the doors of my college's free counseling services during their no-appointment walk-in hours (for /lgbt/ shit and other assorted problems) but I keep hesitating and not doing it.

>>8272600
are you growing it out?

if so, you aren't losing any more hair than normal, it just looks like more because it's longer

>>8273443
I also wanted to see my college counsellor. Or go to the /lgbt/ group. But I never did. After a year of being too afraid to see someone in the end I booked an appointment with a gender therapist in private. It was very hard and I understand how hard it is for you as well. I hope one day you can talk to someone though. It's the only way if you want to transition.

>>8273458
Really? I swear every time I brush my hair I look on the brush and just think "fuck that I'm not brushing it again. Maybe I'm paranoid but I swear I lose more hair than a normal person. I don't brush it everyday though.

>>8273641
so you're seeing a few days worth of hair in your brush instead of just one

I wouldn't worry

>>8259721
Just start self medding for some months and see how you feel. There's no point in life if you don't experience happiness.
All you can hope for is stop being miserable for once and start living your life, eventually just for the sake of it.

>>8272973
>>8272976
>>8273458
Not them, but yeah this shit's been happening to me.
Granted, this is literally the longest I've ever had my hair, and I don't brush it, just comb it after I shower, but holy shit it's been freaking me out.
People have told me that it's not really anything to worry about since my hair is thick as fuck but I still worry because a lot of the men in my family are bald.

>>8270126
No opinion either way. I just see it as inevitable

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I'm not sure if I want to be a girl because I want boys to like me or if I want boys to like me because it validates me as a girl. I've been bi as long as I've been sexually interested in other people and I've wanted to be a girl ever since I figured out I was not liking the effects of testosterne and I'm not sure which is the root of the other or if all of my feelings are real and I'm just thinking myself into a corner over nothing.

>>8278175
Were you sexually interested in people or wanting to be a girl first?

>or if I want boys to like me because it validates me as a girl.
This is called pseudobisexuality.

>>8268005
>>8270378
I know exactly what you mean about the whole "making it real" thing, it's why I find it hard to talk to friends or even my shrink about it. I don't want it to be real and just go back to being normal, or what I thought was normal I guess

>>8278175
I'm having some pretty similar feels to you, sans the bi thing. IDK if I can handle sex with girls. Bleh.
>>8278196
So liking the opposing gender because it validates your identity, that's what it is?

>>8264013
We all are I'm fairly certain

>>8279483
>>8264013
I keep doing it but I don't know, at this point I feel like I have nothing to lose. If I'm wrong so be it. I don't wanna keep going on like this. I just hope my parents and friends don't utterly despise me.

does QHI/inhouse need something printed out? what do if don't have printer?

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Are erections/orgasm possible after an orchiectomy?

When my T level was just 11 ng/dl (on 25mg cypro) I could still achieve orgasm, so it shouldnt be much of a problem for me right?

>>8280225
You don't need your balls to get a boner or orgasm dude.

>>8280225
>orgasm
>she thinks you need balls to orgasm
then orgasm would be impossible after SRS
but it isn't

>>8279613
what i did was i signed their pdf document in photoshop, you dont actually have to print it

>>8280710
did you give your real name and signature?

>>8282030
no , just my girl name from wow

>>8280710
>photoshop
shit, what if i don't have it D: guide me through juking them hrtsenpai

>>8285068
use gimp or any other picture modifier.

>>8284557
This made me laugh. I imagined an orc ordering hormones from QHI. "S-someday I'll be a human girl :("

>>8286427
>tfw trans but would choose human/elf/forsaken male over orc/troll/goblin female

does the chin/jaw keep growing in your 20s? paranoid that my jaws getting bigger and i think ive noticed an asscrack in my chin :(

>>8288379
common knowledge is that men stop growing at age 21. Ossification of the growth plates, however, happens at 25. So facial bones can continue to grow.

>>8288414
how can this be stopped

maybe this is stupid but are there any quizzes or anything online i could take, i just want something that'll say "yeah you're probably trans" or like "nah you're normal, don't worry"

>>8289635
there are, but they are based on stereotypes and the algorhytms say different things every time.

>>8288499
Anti-androgens and Estrogen

What clothes should I wear as a guy to look more feminine? I wanna start dressing cuter, but am not sure what to get.
Preferably something neutral-ish, that doesn't look too bad on a thin man.

>>8290781
yeah i also want to know what are some good clothes to wear, i am trying to look more girly but i usually just end up looking rly gay instead :/

is there an emergency hotline I can call to just kidnap me and shove hormones down my throat

>>8290922
THIS

I have soooooo much trouble actually starting transition. Like I want to stop repressing but it's so hard to do by myself. I have literally no support if I come out as trans.

>>8290933
I mean I'm already a very anxious person and incredibly self-hating/feelings of inferiority
I think I'd die trying to force myself through
>unironically want a man in my life to decide for me
must be a sexist stereotype I'm trying to fit into right? :^):^):^):^)

>>8290946
As much as I would like someone to force me to transition because that would be the easiest way to do this. I just want any support irl but family and friends are all just assholes. I don't think I could do it all alone.

>>8290965
yeah that's true. there's implicit support that way I guess
I'm pretty sure my family would hate me

I vary frrom really wishing I was a girl to being ok as a guy. Is this normal? How do I decide to transition if I'm this uncertain?
Should I just stay a guy and dress cute?

>>8291626
Well dysphoria tends to not be a perfect constant. If you're never actually happy as a guy and merely okay with it in the moment, you should at the least talk to your therapist seriously. It's also a matter of how bad wanting to be a girl feels. Does it make you stressed, anxious, depressed, anything?

>>8291958
I've contacted therapists recently but i'll have to wait til like october to talk to the new one.
I get really depressed when it's at the worst. and seeing girls or pretty transpersons make me sad

can an ass crack in the chin start to develope where there wasnt one before, or can a minor one worsen? and can you get rid of it

Ftm here. Is it possible for my dysphoria to just slowly disappear? I used to get really bad anxiety and discomfort when seeing my body, but now it's de-escalated into just a minor sense of wrong. I even went outside in girlmode today without feeling as depressed as usual. I feel like if I wait long enough, and try to be a regular girl, I could become cis and live a normal life. Is it possible? Anybody with experiences like this?

>>8292989
I mean dysphoria comes in waves usually but if you grew out of it that's great.

>>8292989
According to my old gatekeeper being trans could be a phase because the brain is still developing. It wasn't for me, but if it's like that for you you're lucky!

>>8292592
pretty sure that if you have one, it's there forever. The Youtuber Maya has one, and it hasn't disappeared during her transition.

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Not sure if in right place, am new.

Just looking for general tips and constructive criticism.

This is me with very light makeup on. Actually, only a little bit of eye and eyebrow makeup. I usually would wear more, but I was going to a laser hair removal appointment.

What do?

>>8297381
Not sure why it posted sideways. I'm on my phone, also I'm stupid

>>8297381
You look nice, would take out for coffee.

-T. straight board-tourist

>>8297406
That's nice lol not helpful though

>>8297381
Your eyebrows look way too manly.

>>8297381
IMO
Get bangs to make your forehead look smaller and also part your hair in the middle instead of having it all on one side. Wear something more girly than a shirt. Get smaller glasses? I think square glasses don't look good on you. Get FFS for jaw?

Is there any way to relieve physical dysphoria at all? I'm really confused as to what's going on because I have no visual dysphoria at all, like I look in the mirror and I like my male body and face. Socially I have mild dysphoria when seeing attractive girls being pretty, but generally gender roles and pronouns don't bother me at all.

However, my body feels like shit all the time. My chest feels wrong, my legs feel gross, my shoulders ache and I have this weird feeling of emptiness around my periniem which I can only attribute to some kind of quasi phantom vagina at this point.

I feel like shit at all time, but I really don't want to transition. I honestly don't feel like a girl or mind being a man, but my body just won't cooperate. I feel almost constantly seasick. Is there fucking anything I can do to make this fuck off?

Note.- I am 26 and have been feeling this for around 3 months. I have never experienced dysphoria before this unless jerking off endlessly to sissy porn counts.

>>8258352
Not even real girls look like that.

PPPPLASTIC SURGERY TIME

Start saving up and move to LA/NY/Seoul. The doctors there are artists.

>>8269844
You only got 10 int. There is no hormone that can help with that

>>8269907
that's bellow average skelleton

sounds like you have 10 int yourself

>>8297381
Add volume to your hair so your face wont look so big in comparison.
learn to pose and make a habit to your legs. Take selfies from a higher angle. Less wonderbrow, more shape.

>>8297554
skeleton in what?
also are you implying skeletons aren't highly intelligent? rude

>>8297574
if they're smart they wouldn't be dead

>>8258352
Even with the best surgeons, and an extremely good personal trainer, this most likely is impossible. Even if it were possible, you'd need hundreds of thousands, but still, it's impossible.

Get more realistic goals...

>>8297458
This is very true. It's something I've been putting off but need to get done asap. Thanks

>>8297473
I would LOVE bangs. But my hair just isn't really cut out for it. It's insanely thin and feathery. Same goes for parting in the middle. When I try that I honestly just look like a little Amish boy. It does not work at all. FFS for jaw is on my bucket list. My jaw is grotesque.

>>8297568
Thanks! I will definitely look into it. I really need to learn how to do my hair better. I'm very ignorant in that world.

About to catch the bus over to my first legit IRL trans halp meeting. Wish me luck, ya queers

>>8297869
Report back with the horror stories.

>be miserable because I'm a man
or
>be miserable because I'm a hon
Why is my life a Bethesda RPG?

>>8298306
I have the same choice with my life shit sucks

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How do you deal with genital dysphoria? I want to shrink it, keep it soft as mush as possible(all the time if possible) or just keep it out of my mind. Besides the obvious tucking, what can I do?

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>>8299788
Suffer and wait for test tube vagoos.
It's one of the many things I can never really deal with because contemporary surgery is a joke.

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>>8299788

>>8258179
It's like playing an instrument, you're going to sound retarded at first, but if you keep it up you'll sound real good.
T. Cis male who did voice training for fun

So I've been on HRT for just over a year. I have had really good breast development and my skin is a lot softer, but my body hair has barely thinned or lightened at all. I'm on 2Mg Estradiol and 200Mg Spiro.

Do I need a higher dose?

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So Progynon Depot was just discontinued.

I feel really stupid for not buying some a few months ago, now I'm stuck on meme Estrofem for the next 6 months.

Does anyone know if there's a place online that resells it? Do they not sell it on any Darkweb marketplaces?

If getting HRT without informed consent was easier I wouldn't have to be doing this shit fml.

>>8301301
You need to get rid of the hair by plucking or waxing. If you do it enough times you'll eventually get the root of the hair and it won't grow back, granted your hormone levels are in female range.

>>8301390
just take your pills like everyone else

What exactly is the cancer risk for HRT?

How often should i get screened for breast cancer if im on estrogen?

What should someone do who was told they have high liver enzymes count and was taking 50mgs of Cypro for a year. I'm afraid I fucked up my body and now can't take hrt anymore and I'd rather be dead if that's the case so what should I do orchie? Natural hrt? Implant of hrt? Keep in mind the closest therapist to me is hours away so I've been self medicating.

>>8303043
Orchi to avoid AAs for sure. Estrogen shots would be good too.

>>8303051
I kinda posted in the wrong thread thinking this was the hrt gen sorry bout that. So taking injections could potentially be easier on my liver? Also is there an civilized country that will do an orchie with no therapist letter?

>>8303019
Bump

What can i do to stop masculinization but not destroy my balls?

Anyone have any experience with online therapist 35.00 a session seems perfect.

www.tssurgeryguide.com/site/90b64a9e075a4b52b249c89d611cf46f/default?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tssurgeryguide.com%2Fgender-therapists.html#2991

If I can't picture myself not being a guy, that probably means I'm just AGP, right? Love being masculine but I want to be feminine too. I CD and underdress and paint my nails but I want to have the image of being an inspiring alpha leader guy, but other times I wanna be a qt gril past wondering.

And the idea of being infertile is horrifying.

>>8303087
I wish

>>8303500
Tbh very similar story here. I can get past everything but the infertility personally. If i could have everything else and keep my fertility I'd be willing to clear my bank account right now.

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I can't be a girl.
HRT and surgery will just make me a monster, my skeleton is simply too large to work around.
These simple facts cause me immense discomfort, but that's ok, I cannot change them anyways.

I'm been feeling pretty heavy dysphoria lately. I get really jealous of biological women, but fear becoming a hon.
Being a cute femboy makes me happy to some degree, but I still can't help but feel sad whenever I see pretty girls.
Is this it? Should I take the jump and start hrt?
I could still possibly pass with ffs. I'm 20 but not very masculine.
I fear I'll just end up some creepy ugly 40 y.o crossdresser if I dont...

>>8305033
>jealous of women, sad when you see pretty girls
>not very masculine at 20
>should i start hrt?
full speed ahead. go to informed consent and ask for injections asap

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So i've been dieting myself for 3 years trying to maintain a feminine form in order to potentially one day get on testosterone blockers and potentially full HRT, but i'm wondering if there's some way of getting diagnosed with what i have (gender dysphoria) and getting a prescription given to me without my parent's knowing. I am still on my parents' insurance so i'm afraid they'd find out if i told one of my doctors. Any advice/info would be greatly appreciated ^u^
Pic related: Me

>>8305414
you are a cute!

[spoiler]pls be my gf[/spoiler]

[spoiler]burgerland (usa)?[/spoiler]

>>8305414
Nice dick.

Your parents would get a bill containing the name of the doctor's office and the general category of care you received, but not the specific diagnosis. If you need to keep it secret from your parents, don't use their insurance -- either use your own insurance or don't use insurance at all. Yes, doctor-patient confidentiality is a thing, but they can easily figure it out by probing either you or the insurance company.

>>8303019
when you're over 50, every five years. cancer risk is the same as cis women

>>8303019
Anti androgens being linked to testicular cancer, mostly. It's bunk though, /pol/tard tier "scientists" showed a correlation between anti androgen use and testicular cancer... but neglected to mention teaticular cancer patients are often treated wih anti androgens.
Otherwise it's business as usual. If you have boobs get them checked, if you have balls get them checked.

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I'm too scared to tell my doctor I need a therapist because social anxiety and too scared to self med because side effects.

>>8307136
Same at least you probably aren't in your 20's like me though

>>8307136
Assuming you're not >30, side effects shouldn't be a worry.

>>8307154
R-Right. I'm certainly not 20 years and 38 days old. That would be oddly specific.

>>8307165
Cypro can make you go blind and spiro can cause an allergic respiratory failure. Proper bica doses can't be measured with readily available private labwork and GnRH-As are super expensive grey market.

>>8307178
Oh well I'm 22 and in the same boat it sucks

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I`ve only started getting trans feelings relatively recently but its fair to say they have been kind of intense. However lately, just over a week ago or so, they`ve taken a back seat to others. My thoughts have kind of been dominated by suicidal ones like planning to kms etc. with my trans thoughts only ever really seeping through when I see a shop display or have a dream, like theyve been switched from automatic random thoughts happening whenever to manual "triggers" (this could be because I mean when I`m thinking of killing myself I dont see the point in planning for the future I dont want to live for, maybe). But does this de-legitimise my trans feelings? Is this a symtpom of it being a ""phase""? or are trans thoughts meant to be the centre of gravity for actual trans people? Like how often do you think about it and stuff.
Ughhhh this has been really bothering me and stressing me out and my minds latched onto it so I would really appreciate opinions on this.
Thanks <3

>>8307136
Write a letter to your doc? or a phone call?
I mean its autistic but that way its just one moment of anxiety: sending the letter. Rather than minutes of talking to someone.

>>8307178
>Cypro can make you go blind
I can't find any source on that. So even if something so rare happened, self-medding or taking it oficcialy wouldn't likely make a difference.

>>8307136
Side effects are a huge meme, you should be more scared about going outside and getting cancer from the sun

>>8307254
Don't focus on whether you're "really" trans or not, that's completely abstract. Focus on whether or not transition would be an overall good move for your well being. If so then bad news, you're trans.

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Please analyze my thought process and fix the feedback error.

I want to be female. I can't be female because life is cruel. I can be a transwoman, but I'll never pass because of strong Nordic genes. So I can just live in boymode while on HRT, but I'm scared of throwing away my normalcy and becoming an unlovable weirdo. I don't like being male though, so why am I worried about no longer being entirely male? Am I not trans? I must not be trans. I'll just be a girly male. I can shave my body and have long hair and be male. I still hate being male. Repeat.

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>been trying to find both the time and the courage to make use of my college's free therapist for at least a couple weeks
>finally get around to dragging myself into the office during their walk in hours
>mfw at the desk learning that their walk in hours are only for academic/career counseling and I'll still have to make an actual appointment with their personal counseling therapists
You would think they would specify something like that on their website.

Hey I need some advice about work. I'm 5 months in HRT and not willing to come out at my job (work with 200 people). How realistic is it to keep working here and not have anybody know? I'm over 6' with a manface and so far nobody can tell but I'm planning to get an orchi and switch to injections in several months. Should I just quit?

>>8309388
Literally nobody gives a shit what you do. It's not like they're going to walk up to the weird quiet coworker and say, "Ey bro nice tits did you cut your balls off?"

I don't want to choose between my family and myself but they won't give me any other choice. I hate this so much.

>>8309997
Same, anon. Hope you figure it all out.

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>Go to Fred Meyers at 10pm to buy panties because surely no one else will be in the clothes section at that hour.
>Circle around trying to spot something I like out of the corner of my eye.
>Finally see something, go to check sizes.
>Literally as soon as I reach out my hand to look through the rack a retail worker lady materializes out of thin air to ask if I'm finding everything alright.
>"y-yeah t-t-thanks."
>Transported immediately out of the store by the power of embarrassment.

where 2 cop clothes online

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>>8310056
>Hello sir, do you need help finding something for your girlfriend?
No, I was just going to kill myself, thanks though.

>>8310056
Sad Portland trans girl here, sup.

Uniqlo has the best basics ever. Got pants with a 33in inseam for $9. J crew has a lot of garbage but some good classics that go on sale for dirt cheap. Shopbop if you're fancy.
Stores also make me want to die, especially Freddy's after 10 it's like the twilight zone.

>>8310270
>Sad Portland trans girl here, sup.
Hey me too. Thanks for the reqs.

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>>8310056
I work in security for a department store.
We watch teenagers using cameras from the moment they walk in the store because they have a tendency to shoplift.
If you wander around for a while we send someone over to watch/help you.
We don't care what sex clothing you buy.
Just tell the sales clerk what you are looking for and the size you need.
They will help you find it.
Being embarrassed to buy things is silly.
That's what we're there for.

>>8310303
(fred meyers is a regional thing)

t. seattlite

>>8310308
I know they don't really care, I was just startled by someone being there suddenly for the most part.

I am trans, but I am in the closet, I feel myself and see myself as a girl. I've always wanted to dress girl clothes, but I was repressed, I've use to desire to have the girl's body and be treated as a girl. When I was a teenager I've bought a spandex shorts and my mother repressed me a lot and said if I want to be gay, to me be far away from her, which means be expulsed from home.
I used to dress some of her clothes in secret for years. I don' have any pleasure with my penis and my balls, I don't like them and they even causes physical pain. I want to be free and do the transition, but I can't because I have a financial dependence on my parents and transex uses to have a lot of dificults in the labour market. Curiously I have atraction only for women, but my sexual pleasure is only in the anus. What advice may you give to me be free and end this suffering?

>>8311255
>they even causes physical pain.
How?

The physical pain happens when I am sexually excited, the balls and the penis simply pains.

>>8311255
Move to America sometime in the future if you can.
Otherwise try to find a girl who is into femdom and pegging, I guess.
Also your physical pain sounds like a psychosomatic disorder and they make pills for it.

That's the biggest problem, if I reveal some of that psychosomatic disorder and consequently the feelings I have when I am excited and what makes me excited, I were simply geting out of the closet and all the bad consequences comes to me, in case, the consequences of prejudice.

>be me
>17
>live in a shitty country that is Poland
>come to realization you're trans
>no idea what job you want to do
>want to move to a different country

Wat do, 4chan?

>>8311375
Are you skilled in a thing?
At 17 I was in studies for my future job, so you may be, what d o u want to do?

>>8311375
You know the tranny prostitute meme? It's not a meme.

>>8311383
I mean, I learn programming and I'm very much interested in a job in the gaming industry (was thinking game designer or something like that)

>>8311479
The industry is fucked, you can indie dev in your spare time if you want but don't expect to make a career out of it. If you want a career you'll be someone's code monkey, which is a hellish job. Hours suck, pay is bad, and your boss doesn't understand what it is you actually do but won't hesitate to take it out on you if his demands are literally impossible to work with. Then some other department fucks up and you get laid off like the poor sods doing backend for ME: Andromemeda who got fucked over by the incompetent animators and writers.

>>8311479
Germany has nonpaid internships.
France is decent.
I don't know about UK.

>>8311745
UK is Brexiting anyway

>>8311255 The worst is I have a very big problem, I am 25 years old and I have fear the hormones don't work in the future when I'll became free from my parents dependency. This just starts to be a big temptation to me assume the risk of go out of the closet.

>stopped letting myself procrastinate with bullshit excuses
>finally ordered girl pills
this is it
no turning back now

>barely ever look at porn/fap
>uncomfortable fapping to most things
>feel very relaxed imagining myself as the girl or "girl"
>when I'm out walking I think about how nice it would be to have my fat distributed more like a female
>don't UTTERLY DESPISE my body but don't really like it
>would probably trade D for a real V, but not an SRS one (probably)
I don't really "feel" trans though
Maybe I'm just lazy and don't wanna shake anything up? :/

Why it's not good to smoke when doing the HRT?

>>8316666
higher chance of DVT, lower efficacy of estrogen.

>know I should get on HRT
>too scared to do it
>too scared of getting discovered, etc
>bad grades in college this semester because just can't care or focus
>etc

I feel like I'd rather die and that HRT would just extend my suffering

I don't know what to do though, it's pretty much suicide or do something at this point. My family seems to genuinely care about me but idk if that would continue if I was trans, but then again I'm a huge loser so it's not like they have an actual good reason for caring.

>>8322675
You could always try HRT and see if it works for you.

>>8325679
that's what everyone always says

but it doesn't really seem like a solution
Maybe I'm just hoping for some magic way to be able to deal with being trans and not be a complete loser but I don't think there is a way

>>8328353
if you're trans and it's making your life worse the logical solution is transition

if you're not sure you could do feminine stuff (assuming you're mtf - there aren't many ftm on 4chan) first and see if it makes you feel better. you can try:
>body hair removal
>having longer head hair
>letting your nails grow and taking care of them
>using makeup and painting your nails in private
>secretly buying girl clothes (like from amazon)
>taking care of your skin
>HRT-lite like pueraria mirifica (idk if it does anything desu but you could try it)
>voice training

>>8328376
Not the anon you're talking to but
>letting your nails grow and taking care of them
I'm mtf but I don't really like long nails since it hinders me tapping on my tablet or keyboard and my nails are all fucked up and grow funny anyway.
Is there some magic way to take care of nails I am not aware of or am I just retarded?
also
>voice training
Any advice for someone who never talks at all, sometimes for days on end besides just giving grunting "mhhm" yes or no responses to people?

I am not the anon who quest on this, but your answer helped me so much, because I saw a very ugly trannie today and I became with fear to be weird like her.
P.S. I don't intend to let my nails grow because I love anal masturbation and this must causes injuries on this part of my body.

>>8328376
I'm pretty sure I'm trans but I just don't want to do anything about it because I don't think it will go well.

Being judged is something I don't want, I don't want to look trans, even if I'm just taking HRT I'll probably end up looking weird as a guy. Passing is something I'd never do either due to height/body.

Me taking HRT is like if your car breaks down on the side of the road so you do a quick temporary fix to get it home so you can actually fix the problem, but in this case there is no fix to the problem and all you can do is have the "quick" fix (HRT).

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>>8328417
Taking care of nails is really really easy. All you really need is a nail file. Look up youtube tutorials on how to file and shape nails and just copy what they do (file your nails at an angle to get the shape you want). Also never cut the sides of your nails, just the top. You want to file the sides so you get long and pointy nails.

>voice training
no advice from me, I think I'll have to get voice surgery lol

>>8328645
I'm sorry, you sound like you have issues. But if you're still going to college you're definitely young enough to pass. I also feel like I'm too tall sometimes and want to die but then I see girls my height. Sure, you won't be a tiny cute girl. But you can pass decently and you can even look pretty if you put in some effort. Looking good is all about taking care of your hair and being fit and having decent makeup skills.

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What questions should I be asking myself if I'm unsure with my transition? It makes me nervous when I think about how differently the people I know will treat me after they find out.

>>8330579
Well, do you want to live your life as a girl?

>>8330579
Do you really care what people will think?
Based on your family/current friend group's ideals, will they accept you?
Are you more self-fearing or projecting it onto society?
Do you hate body hair?

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>6 months on HRT
>I don't pass yet, maybe under certain conditions but it's still pretty obvious that I'm a boy, albeit an effeminate one
>Breast development is going way faster than everything else and I already have pretty noticeable boobs
>Now I just look like a boy with boobs

What the fuck do I do? They constantly poke through my shirt and I get really self-conscious about it, I don't want to wear a bra because I feel like it'd make it even more noticeable. Should I wrap them? I'm so lost, and I just want to bring as little attention to myself as possible.

>>8337787
try wearing a sports bra. don't wrap them because it might hurt boob growth

>>8337787
wear baggy clothing

How much laser hair removal is safe in one go?

My laser hair ... person? specialist? whatever, she said she could do my stomach, chest, and neck all at once. But I've read that having too much laser at once is dangerous, and I'm just a tad bit skeptical of people who have aggressive sales tactics.

Is stomach, chest, face all at once okay? Or should I space them out?

>>8337787
Welcome to your new life.

>>8339813
As long as it's not twice on the same places, it's fine.

I've been really thinking about starting to try and transition, but I want to make sure that I'm actually trans before spending a bunch of time and money on hormones and surgeries. I also kinda want to make sure it's even feasible to transition.

I've been into crossdressing for a few years now, and have been collecting girly clothes. As the years have gone on, I've become more and more uncomfortable with the masculine aspects of my body. It's gotten to the point where it matches the feelings of dysphoria I've felt when severely depressed. However, unlike most trans people I've read about, I've never felt that way about my dick. It's all about hip shape, chest size, shoulder width, neck width, jaw size, and body hair. I dunno if I'm actually trans or have just started hating the masculine parts of myself that aren't my dick.

And for feasibility, I'm concerned that it's too late for me to even start transitioning. I turn 26 in a few months. I've got some decent starting proportions, with my hips at the joint being wider around than my chest at the typical point where guys get measured, and my umbilicus being thinner around than both of those even with some stress fat hanging onto my stomach. Ideally, though, I'd like to feminize my body more. (Also get rid of body and facial hair, but I'd do that even if transitioning wasn't feasible.) I understand that I pretty much have no chance of getting any skeletal changes with my age. However does HRT even do things like change tendons to make gait more feminine or thin the muscles on the neck? Are facial feminization surgeries always so... drastic?

Sorry for the long post.

>>8340939
You don't have to hate your genitals to be trans. When I talk to my gender therapist he doesn't care what I think about my genitals. It's more about how I feel in general, how I feel when I do feminine stuff, etc.

HRT does thin the muscles of the neck. The biggest changes are in muscle and fat. It will shrink your muscles to make your body more feminine and redistribute your fat to female areas. You also get better and smoother skin. Less acne. Less body hair (that takes time tho). Breast growth obviously. You also get penis atrophy. If you hate being male and feel that you would like these changes then you are probably trans. The only way to know for sure is to talk with a gender therapist.

>>8341004
You know, I never actually thought about seeing a gender therapist. It's a really good idea. It might take me a moment or two for me to get into one as I'm not completely financially independent on the medical front yet.

Hrm. The only one that bothers me is penis atrophy. Anal masturbation isn't as... um.. spontaneous as penis masturbation. And SRS honestly isn't advanced enough for me to feel comfortable with it. Everything else sounds like what I want. More feminine muscle and fat distribution would fix so many of the things I hate about my body. Better skin is just nice in general. And if I still need body hair reduction by the time that it comes on from HRT, that'll be nice. Hormone tits don't seem like a huge pain to deal with and usually look really cute and small.

>>8341074
sounds like a plan

Hey, this might be a long one and I should probably just talk to a doctor but fuck it.

For a while I've been confused about whether or not I have Gender dysphoria, only for a year or so has it been something I consciously think about though. I feel like I've always wanted to be a girl but not as strongly as most of the people I see talking about their gender dysphoria. Growing up I'd always play female characters in games whenever it was possible, and the way I type is pretty feminine I think, I've had a few people think I was a girl until I mention otherwise. I don't think I've ever really been very masculine, I'm really slim and I have long hair, I'm not far off of being a femboy. I only even started thinking about the possibility having gender dysphoria because I've had a sissy fetish for a while and I often imagine myself as the girl in porn videos, I'd put it down to just being gay but gay porn doesn't turn me on in the slightest. I feel like I'd prefer being a girl but at the same time I don't feel living life as a male would be unlivable for me. I have horrible self confidence and hate the way I look, since I've grown out my hair I like how I look a little better but still not happy with myself, because of that I get social anxiety which is partly why I'm here rather than speaking to a doctor. I'm 19 at the moment and live with parents, if I was to start HRT I wouldn't want to do it while I live here. I'm confident my parents would be fine with it even if they find it strange but I'd much rather have my own place if I was transitioning.

So I guess my question is; Does it sound like I actually have gender dysphoria or am I just a degenerate? It always seems like people experience this a lot worse than me so I feel like transitioning may be a silly idea. My only other option could be to crossdress or something I guess.

>>8341413
It sounds to me like you're trans, just with a little less gender dysphoria and a little more gender euphoria if I hat to guess. I'm no professional though. Does being interpreted as a girl make you feel good?

I'd probably get a gender therapist, your situation certainly justifies at least that much just so you can work it out.

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>Start cypro 6months ago
>No weight training whatsoever
>Literally go out of my way to not do any heavy lifting
>Still muscly all over

Is there something I'm doing wrong? My T levels coast around 14-5 ng/dl. My wrists are just about 6.25", indicating that I am "small-medium framed" Is this muscle shit ever gonna stop?

>>8341074
I've at least heard that the atrophy can be halted by masturbation, but also that your libido takes a dip on HRT. Not sure of the validity of the first one and being honest, for everything about HRT it's always "your mileage may vary"

>>8341456
Oh, never heard of gender euphoria. And yeah it does, I have curly hair and my mum often says girls would love to have hair like mine, that's not really being interpreted as a girl but still feels good.

But yeah I guess I'll see a gender therapist eventually, I need to deal with my anxiety first though because the idea of telling a therapist about this terrifies me.

>>8341458
lose weight
eat very little protein

>>8341516
oh and if you're very desperate
eat almost no protein
starve yourself (the faster you lose weight, the more muscle you will lose)
don't sleep/sleep very little/have irregular sleep
exercise to excess every day (exercising breaks your muscles - they are then repaired by your body overnight using protein - if you exercise too much, don't have protein and don't sleep, exercising will actually make you lose muscle)

>>8341467
From what I've read just lurking around the libido thing really seems to be randomly assigned. Though supposedly bicalutamide and certain other kinds of anti-androgens are able to block the masculinizing effects of testosterone without killing one's dick. Supposedly. I guess that I'll just have to try and see how it effects me.

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>come out to old conservative parents in bumfuck middle east
>they're surprisingly acceptive after explaining gender dysphoria even though they were obviously shocked
>about a week passes
>they're out for a session with my psych
>have to check something on mom's laptop
>curiously stroll through her history
>"can trans women have children?"

Fuck, anons. I never asked for these feels.

>>8342202
Well you can can't you? Just bank that cum or knock up your gf before starting hrt.

>>8342217
Except I don't want a gf and neither do I want to father a child.

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Things can't get any better. Bones are just too big. Why live?

>>8342860
you can shave off some bone with FFS though

>>8343052
Those bones are tiny. I mean my giant leg bones, arm bones, spine bones, etc.

Where can i get some honest "pre-everything, will i pass" opinions on pics of myself?

>>8343110
Time traveler's convention.

>>8342860
You don't have to transition. You can just shave your body and grow out your hair, do whatever might help a little. Live because you're going to die anyways. Why rush?

>face could probably pass
>FaceApp seems to barely do anything aside from just brightening up my face
>my hip and shoulder measurements are probably salvageable
>tfw I still won't ever pass since I'm a tall motherfucker
>tfw I'll never be a qt
I haven't even decided if I am trans or not yet this still hurts.

>>8344022
You are trans you're just in denial because life is cruel.
At least the #transpride movement made it so everyone is constantly on the lookout for those perverted men in dresses right? Go LGBTQAPI42@!

>>8344075
>you're just in denial because life is cruel
More like I'm in denial because I don't know if it is worth throwing away the option of having kids and potentially disappointing my family. Also I still cling to the notion that these feelings may just be a result of high stress and normie depression.

>>8344082
Sure thing. You're clearly just suffering because you've been denied something you don't really want sue to... stress.
I know I'm being condescending but it's hard to tell someone what they're thinking without talking over them. You'll greatly regret this delay in 2 years though, so forgive my boorishness.

I want better skin. My legs have a lot of ingrown hairs and they're pretty itchy for a few days after shaving. I usually shave and exfoliate (with like a glove thing) my legs and arms 1-2 times a week. I should probably use a moisturiser too after I shave right? Does someone know a good moisturiser that dries quickly and doesn't leave my skin sticky? Oh and should I use moisturiser every time I shower? Should I exfoliate my legs/arms more often or is 1-2 times a week enough? Also I use a men's razor because living with family. But I decided to order a proper razor from amazon. What's a good razor to shave body? Something that will help with ingrown hairs maybe?

>>8344082
>throwing away the option of having kids
sperm bank or adopt and the problem is solved.

How difficult/expensive is it to sperm bank if you're going DIY?
Haven't started yet, but it'll be about six months before I can go legit and I've been waiting too long already.

>>8345662
not difficult at all, you just walk into a sperm bank lol. prices differ per sperm bank/time stored

>>8343110
you'll get the most brutal opinions here if you want.

>>8343110
/passgen/, but only from certain people. Disregard opinions from tripfags, people posting their own pictures and people who're clearly going easy on the hons.

buuuuuuuump

I'm male and I wish I was female. After thinking about it I have come to the conclusion that I have pretty much three choices.

A. Live as a male, completely respectable and easy living. Try to suppress my emotions and then become very depressed on a regular basis as I'm reminded of the fact that I will never be a woman.
B. Take hormones to help with dysphoria while still in boy mode. Not really a woman but in theory alright with this idea. However I remember a period of time when I had long hair and I remember this kind of a pressing feeling whenever I was outside of my house that everyone was judging me and that I looked weird, and once I cut my hair short I got a sudden boost confidence and the feeling disappeared. So I'm worried that this might happen again if I take hormones in boy mode.
Also if I mess up I'm worried I will become sterile and have fucked up my body for pretty much forever in process.
C. Go full girl mode, and risk not passing at all as I am already 20, 179cm and have quite a visible adam's apple. To list some positives though, people often remark that I am pretty thin and I have kind of feminine facial features, in my opinion with an emphasis on the kind of.
I also tend to have high standards, I'm worried about the social consequences and I risk fucking my body up just like in section B.

I've thought about this for a long time, and I want to decide pretty damn soon. Any advice or opinions on what might be the best route to take?

>>8356076
D: Be as feminine as you feel you want that day without taking hormones.

>>8356082
Not feeling this option, because I don't like it when people who don't look feminine wear women's clothing for example. I feel like I'd have to at least take hormones.

okay so i have been asking myself alot if id be trans or not, these are my thoughts
>i like the thought of being a girl and being seen and recognized as one
>i do like to take more feminine roles im social situations with people
>when i was 14 i was convinced i was a girl until i kinda stopped thinking that but the thought sometimes popped up, then i ignored it.
>i have phases where i hate to see my current self in the mirror, phases where i have the urge to cut my dick off when i get an erection
>the thought that im not the person i want to be makes me occasionaly want to kill myself
but then again
>im already 19
>185cm/6'1" tall
>bad hair/unfixable face, also quite unfeminine face, voice etc. often times i kinda am convinced that ill be able to do it until i see my face and hair again.
>im not bothered by my pronouns and my name (anymore) being male

i need help, i dint know whether im trans or not, i dont know if ill ever be able to pass etc..

>>8356181
actually, let me add soemthing

>i dont wanna be a man
>i genetically am one though, which ill never be able to change. i dont wanna live as one but then again i dont wanna be a unpassable giant if i would go that far
wat do

>>8356181
Whether you're able to pass has no bearing on whether you're trans. It sucks to not totally pass, but what else are you going to do, just not transition and hope things magically get better? Protip: they get worse (both because your body continues to develop contrary to how you feel comfortable and because you lose the will to deal with it).

You owe it to yourself to try transitioning. You can take HRT without socially transitioning; that has its problems but it's vastly better than not doing anything.

>>8356298
ill actually see a therapist for a first talk in a few days so ill definitely adress that whole thing.,
>but what else are you going to do, just not transition and hope things magically get better?
i mean it kinda worked i guess during the last years when i didnt think about it that much. still had quite some depressed phases without any explenation at that point. also looking in the mirror and not seeing myself, it doesnt happen atm though.
but yes, i hope i kinda fix or kill myself at some point. second option seems to be alot more likely though. there just doesnt seen to be a reason to be alive, it all feels...grey, like..just everything mixed up. i think the biggest events in my life atm are when i got some new clothes and i try them on
>because you lose the will to deal with it
i barely get myself out of bed besides occasionaly doing a bit of sports to maybe get fitter at some point but getting a womens figure seems so impossible though, i should go to uni aswell but i havent been in the last few weeks cause it seems like for nothin anyway
>take hrt
what problems would i face, what would change?

>>8356076
E: take hrt and make decisions based on the results.

>>8356391
>i mean it kinda worked i guess during the last years when i didnt think about it that much.
The same for me. It's really not sustainable. Your body is getting worse and you're letting it happen. It's a necessary coping mechanism because it's gone too far already, and the solution is difficult, and you don't want to face the consequences. Honestly, I think really emphasising how severe everything is and how you really needed to have done something years ago and making you feel bad about it is necessary; you have to really focus on the bad moments you try to push aside, and appreciate the consequences on an emotional level so as to be "scared" into doing something.

I remember crying in the shower over seeing that my shoulders had grown, then calming myself down and putting my clothes on to cover it and going on to ignore it as best I could, before repeating it again a few months later when it had gotten even worse, like I'd learned nothing. It (and many other similar scenarios) carried on for so long, before I finally broke. In my time ignoring it I had accomplished nothing. The relief was temporary, and in return I'd allowed my body to permanently damaged substantially further.

I can relate to a lot of your experiences. For me and many other trans people, just being on HRT helped substantially. Having your body actually improve instead of getting worse gives you actual hope and meaning for the future. Being male kind of ruins everything, and likewise, being comfortable with yourself is necessary to find substantial and lasting fulfillment in any area of your life. Having a body you're not trying to hide from, and being able to express yourself more in the way you want to, allow you to engage in your life and actually care about it.

>>8356391
>>8360368
>what problems would i face, what would change?

Problems:
>hiding the changes while you're not socially transitioning
>possibly being forced to come out because changes become too visible (most notably breasts)
>side effects of the medications, such as liver damage and increased risk of thrombosis. They aren't really that severe though, so long as you're healthy. You should research them, and get blood tests if possible.
>infertility

Changes include but are not limited to:
>reduced sex drive
>emotional changes, and often mood swings
>fat redistribution
>muscle mass reduction
>breast growth
>lightening/softening/slower growth of androgenic hair
>cessation of masculine development (very important, probably the most important aspect of HRT)
>in some cases a feeling of wellbeing and reduced anxiety, questionably down to placebo
You're basically inducing a female puberty.

>>8360368
>because it's gone too far already
yeah it feels that way, the reasons for that are in the original post. i mean, i dont see a future for myself how i am right now, also failing at uni atm so thats....oh well. and then again i see myself failing at being a woman aswell, which is probably, when i think about it, because of my really low self esteem in addition to said things.
>>8360368
>I remember crying in the shower over seeing that my shoulders had grown
im just getting some good ol' latenight depression pretty much daily or like weekly. i know that when my ex said that i had broad shoulders i tried to deny it..wow, thats two and a half years ago. currently i have a bra and its like...well, i like wearing it when im in my room and when my dress arrives ill hopefully be able to wear it with at least a little bit of a female stature and feel a little more female. but its like...im still tall and the shoulders and everything... and all thats irreversible. i hate it so much...
>In my time ignoring it I had accomplished nothing
kinda same atm. as i said, failing at uni, i was a bad student in school of further education and yeah..generally dont even know what i wanna do in the future aswell.
>the last paragraph
right now i dont see a reason to carry on, no. yeah, im hiding my upper body when i can, i shave my legs a few weeks ago and i liked to be in my room without pants just because i liked how it was (tried to wax them today and damn, what a mistake). i guess i like it when i can be feminine, it may help when i would start with some hormones...dont know which and where to get them. am from germany btw (thats why my english is so broken)

>>8360379
thank you for that

how do i get thigh highs when my feet are grotesquely large? women's socks only come in small sizes (too small for me)

Is having naturally feminine features (small hands, small feet, soft young face, overall thin) and starting HRT at 18 a conducive combination for passing as a woman? I know this is an overdone question but how likely is it that I would get fucked over by genetics even with all these checked off?

>>8361175
50/50, either you're fucked or you're not

Why do I feel like it's basically required to be delusional for me to think transition is a good idea

I know that I will most likely never pass, etc. It's like accepting being trans requires me to be crazy, like most mtfs on here that post in passing threads don't pass. Same on /r/transpassing

>>8361930
>Why do I feel like it's basically required to be delusional for me to think transition is a good idea
>I know that I will most likely never pass, etc. It's like accepting being trans requires me to be crazy, like most mtfs on here that post in passing threads don't pass. Same on /r/transpassing
I know exactly how you feel. It just seems so illogical to transition, but at the same time I really want to transition and be a girl. I honestly just wish I was a bit more delusional so I could do it.

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>>8362360
I am pretty sure it's my only option. I'm probably gonna kill myself and the only way I see out is transition, but I'm too scared and it just seems idiotic.

Most of the people on reddit and a lot here just seem super delusional. But maybe I'm just really really mentally ill and depressed and hopeless and I'm the one that's crazy.

>>8360379
>possibly being forced to come out because changes become too visible (most notably breasts)
yeah thats actually something im bothered about. i wanted to swim alot more this summer to lose some weight, how do i go about it then?
>liver damage
well from time to time in drinking a little too much but its comfy to play some vidya drunk cause it takes so much more focus to get something done
>infertility
so thats actually happening, damn. i mean, in general i dont feel worthy of spreading my dna just because it doesnt seem to be a good idea (hairloss and stuff. also id probably be a horrible parent)
>Changes include but are not limited to:
>reduced sex drive
is that even notable when you dont have sex at all?
>emotional changes, and often mood swings
that happens right now aswell, going from my its alright i guess mood to really bad in the matter of minutes. will it just ve worse then?
>fat redistribution
will existing fat be redistributed or will i just gain fat where its 'needed'?
>muscle mass reduction
well i never wanted to be like super muscly anyway so theres that. it should make losing weight alot more difficult i guess?
>lightening/softening/slower growth of androgenic hair
does this also reverse already happened hairloss? i wanted to see a dermatologist because if it but i never got around doing it unfortunately cause im lazy as shit i guess. couldve stopped so much if i just got to one when i was 16 goddamnit...

cont inc

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>>8362840
>>8360379
>cessation of masculine development (very important, probably the most important aspect of HRT)
how much would there be to stop though? i am tall, ive got manly hands and feet (also theyre gigantic) and shoulders and all that. 19 btw, turning 20 in half a year

i mean, as i said, i feel like if i tried id fail anyway. most people say its most important how i see myself and screw other people but i dont wanna be just this weird crossdressing dude who can never pass because of said reasons..

>pic related:i dont see how i could pass as female with that. i heard about surgery, the only stuff i know is like stuff for my nose (needs some fixing, you cant see it here bcause of the angle i chose) but besides that theres just too much thats, like, unfixable i guess

>>8362849
>19 btw, turning 20 in half a year
This nigga. get on hormones already, you'll pass. Besides the deep set eyes you'll do fine.

>>8258049
I accepted I'm trans, but I can't seem to work up the nerve to actually transition. I can't seem to get over my fears about what it will do to my life as far as family and friends. I can't seem to get over the fact the odds are against me passing since I'm 23 and almost 24. I don't have any support, the few friends I have aren't exactly accepting of lgbt people and my parents aren't the most accepting of this kind of stuff either, although if anyone would accept me it would be my mother. I really wish I could just force myself to do it, but I just can't seem to. It's terrible, because I'm honestly pretty certain eventually I'm either going to kill myself or transition and I would much rather transition now when my chances are the best they will ever be. How do you get over being afraid to transition?

Just ordered my shit from ADC
planning to take
>1x 50mg Bica erryday
>1x 2mg/day Estrad half the time (every other 2wks)
>1x 60mg/day Ralox the other half

Is this good? Will I fuck myself up

>>8362849
lotsa shit happens between 19 and 25 man

>>8363106
You transition
You hide it for a few months and you work on fashion, makeup, voice, and all that stuff
And then you're a girl and you don't care anymore if no one accepts you because they can't deny you look like a girl

At least that's my plan

>>8363106
working up the courage to transition is hard i haven't been able to do it either

>>8363796
>working up the courage to transition is hard i haven't been able to do it either
It takes a lot of ignorance to damage your body permanently just so you can process 'in the wrong body' feels. Even though physical science has shown the damage done to the body forcing hormones in large doses is immediate and permanent. Your daily changing feels are totes more important than the shape of your physical body and how you manage it. Don't tell trans people that forcing so much change on your body and mind is one of the reasons why trans people are 5 times more likely to commit suicide post op. Just have all the facts before you start damaging your body like that. The fact that you find it hard to start 'transitioning' means you are still listening to that logical voice in your head that warns you when danger approaches. You have chosen to listen to it because you want to survive as long as you can. Once liberals have beaten your spirit down enough their illogical logic is then easier to accept since you have nothing preventing you from accepting bad ideas.

>>8363818
i have an immense fear of being alone losing all my family and friends due to transitioning and still looking like a man after fucking my life up. i don't want to survive as long as i can i wish a car would hit me today i'm just afraid of transitioning. i wish i was "illogical" so i could just transition and be happier.

>>8363818
Where can I find these liberals to beat my spirit down so I can transition? Please tell me anon I need them.

>>8363949
go to your local neo nazi club

>>8364625
This isn't a joke anon. He told me the secret to accepting I need to transition. I just don't know here to find these liberals that can help me.

I'm in a position where I think I might be transgender and I'm really looking for a group or just an individual who has gone through it to talk to and ask questions and get advice. MtF by the way. I don't check these boards often so if there is someone willing to chat sometime I set up a throwaway email. [email protected] thanks in advance for anyone able to take some time and offer advice.

>>8364673
If you need liberals just move to a liberal state/country.

>>8369121
I live in Massachusetts, but I can't find the liberals he was talking about.

I'm in the closet, if I get out my parents will kick me out of home and I'm wanting more and more to have the women's body and dress female clothes when I see them on the streets. What can I do to reduce my dysphoria meanwhile I'm not independent of my parents?

>>8369546
Step 1: Do all you can to become independent of parents
Step 2: Take hormones, DIY if you must

Is 24 too late to transition? I feel like I ideally would want to be female but I'm worried that I won't transition well due to age.

>>8371132
transition is mostly genetics.

18 UK MTF. Wanting to start hormones before I start attending regular GIC sessions due to the extremely long waiting times, but my mum doesn't want me buying them from the internet because "you never know whats toxic stuff is going to be in them", even though I told her they're reputable websites. How do I convince her?

>>8362952
Deep set eyes aren't defined by sex. Males and females have them

What do you call it if I have basically almost no desire for sex or sexual thoughts on a daily basis, until I crossdress, in which situation I get extremely aroused at the thought of sexual intercourse with a man but also want a romantic relationship/boyfriend as well, until I climax and then feel disgusted and stupid at ever thinking that way until ten minutes later?

>>8372374
fetishist with low libido

>>8362849
little update: got two dresses today and a wig and i feel so incredibly good. thank you all <3 really considering transitioning if it makes me feel that well, at least sometimes. i really love how this is right now and i dont wanna give it up at any point <3

I'm 20 y/o 160lb and I haven't started hormones. I've got a lot of body hair (more than most of my cis guy friends) and I'm scared that I won't be able to get it under control. I don't want to start transitioning if I can't keep my body hair in check, and I know right now that I can't.

>>8373640
>>8362849
Love it! I'm waiting on my first dress in the mail. Also you are cute.

>>8373885
the one time i smile im getting called cute and rated above average on soc. now im super happy because i love to be this female, more than ever before. im actually feeling happy in contrast to this constant 'ugh' and its so lovely. something must be wrong with the matrix right now, this is going too well lol

>>8373867
use women's razors in the shower. Your body hair will gradually reduce with hormones.

>>8374019
I've tried women's razors lots of times, and mens, and the safety razor I shave my face with. The cartridge razors clog if they're pulled 1cm, and regardless of cartridge or blade, I still get covered in bumps.

The legs, arms, and chest are the easy parts too. I am not flexible enough to shave my ass/gooch/back

Best antiandro if I also want to nuke my nuts?

Hello
25 years old here
My parents went through my mail and found my pills so now I can't DIY anymore
They also caused me to get fired from my job and I think they might be stealing my money
How do I kill myself?

Hello i have a problem and since it is anonymous here i was wondering if someone could help its kind of embarrassing its my hands and i don't know how obvious they are to other people but they look like they belong to an old Italian man and Ive been transitioning for a little while and i don't know what to do, i need someones opinion on how bad they look but don't know if i should post them.

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>>8375372

Well here it is....

>>8375372
I personally can't help you on the hand issue, but I'm sure there are other anons who could. I would say post the pic, but if you're paranoid like me you will want to take care in doing it.

If you're concerned about autists or people you know irl figuring out who you are, make sure there isn't anything in the background of the pic (view through a window, shit lying around on tables, shit hanging on walls, etc). Also make sure that there isn't any metadata in the file (just google how to remove it if you don't know). Autists on /pol/ found a fucking flag by looking at the sky, so just stand in front of a nondescript wall that guests don't often see (if full body pic) or put some paper behind your hand when you take the pic (if it's just the hands).

Naturally if you don't crop out or otherwise cover/obscure your face (if you're going for a full body shot to show us how your hands fit with your overall body) then people will be able to see your face and possibly recognize you.

I'm sure there's more precautions to take, but I'm tired and that's what comes up off the top of my head.

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>>8375606
Ok be gentle with my feelings of course the rest of me is fair game.

Anybody had metoidioplasty or phalloplasty with Dr Christopher Salgado? I'm looking for information, mostly on meta but if you had phallo I would also like to hear from you.

I want a penis :(