>tfw most prominent change of hrt are my sudden drama queen

I'd fuck that pepe

Yep. Same here. I actually think it's okay. I mean cis girls all went through that stage and were just as confused about everything. It might have been a more "simple" kind of confusion in the general teenage sense... But it is still valid. Don't worry too much about it anon. Puberty takes years, HRT is basically bizzarro puberty and things will get better. Eventually.

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I'm not sure if this has happened to me yet, since I was pretty moody before I started hormones. And I haven't really freaked out about anything new, or in a really new way.
but I want to learn more about this and offer what support I can

>>8209267
Reminds me of Ana Ulara in Emerald City

>Begone or I will turn you into a frog
>But Brunhilda you are the frogs

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>>8210183
>cry at everything
>get easily upset or offended
>had two cases of lashing out in full rage at my friend over something minor, something that hasn't happened since i was like 16
>visit mom a lot more nowadays just to hug and talk about feels
>absolutely certain everybody hates me

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>>8210392
Yeah, I can relate to most of that to one extent or another. Especially being convinced that everyone hates me. But like I said, most of that started a couple of years before I began taking hormones. My doctor said my T levels were low, maybe that could have something to do with it?
Also, I learned how to tell when I'm getting more emotional because I'm hungry or tired, so I've had some experience with not taking my feelings as seriously if it's almost lunchtime or I didn't sleep so well the night before.
There were a lot of days when I was ready to kill myself until after I took a nap.

>>8210551
I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful

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>>8209228
Oh I feel you deeply. Fucking hrt reset my emotional intelligence and amplified my emotions. For intents and purposes I'm about as competent at handling my feelings as a 17 year old girl.

I use my grand IQ to decide what lip gloss to wear

>>8209228
I think it's been kind of nice. I was rather emotionless before and people thought I was a sociopath or something cause I just had zero emotions.

I can very strongly relate to this
its really kind of embarrassing

my sister asked me why I'm so sensitive now and I didn't know how to respond

Take lithium salts to help with this.

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>tfw crying at work now and this is becoming a real problem

>>8214925
I do this too! I usually find a corner to hide in or duck down behind the counter for a bit until I get a handle on myself. Do you stim? That helps me.

>>8215339
How do you stim?
I need to get a spinner ring.

>>8215702
i rub my clothes or if im alone i play with my hair. I have fairly tight ringlets so I get decent pull with them.

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>>8216901
I play with my hair, too! Mine is long and straight, so I like to run my fingers through it and gently pull the strands apart. Kinda like pic related. I sometimes do this to untangle my hair before I brush it, so I don't tend to think of that as stimming, but I do it all the time.
I was even doing it in a candid photo a friend took of me on my last vacation.
I also like to sit on my feet and put my elbows down on a table and slouch rlow against the surface, really close to my legs. I only recently discovered that "compacting" yourself like this could be an autism thing.

On a whim I listened to "Radio Ga Ga" by Queen this morning and it made me cry.
I keep checking to see if it was a fluke and I literally cri evri tiem. why

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>>8217102
Holy shit, you are actually just me. I ball up at any given opportunity, it's just natural to me.

>>8217518
What are some other symptoms of yours that stand out for you or other people or that you need help with?
Oh, and may I ask what's your relationship to diagnosis; has a doctor confirmed? If not, when did you begin to self-identify? How long have people suspected?

>>8214925
this so much
not so bad as when I started I can sorta handle my shit now but damn

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>>8217686
People have been casually calling me autistic for as long as I can remember. It's been a joke, an insult and an honest inquiry. I vaguely remember what I think were tests for it as a kid. If it was positive my (on record as negligent) parents never mentioned it.

I get overwhelmed by crowds, sounds, lights, etc. desu I like these things in big extremes in small doses because the heart racing is fun. Too much though and I'm basically in tears. I have a hard reading people's emotions and body language.

I'm extremely tired after social events and need to isolate afterward. I'm not obsessed over a single thing but, and this is apparently a sign of female asperger, I've always cycled between brief but extreme fixations.

So to me all this was kind of a joke, like 4chan "you autist!" stuff. But when I read into more female typical signs I developed a lot of doubts. A lot fits. I haven't asked a doctor to test me as an adult, little scared to.

I don't necessarily think I'm autistic, it's super possible but I'm open to almost any diagnosis lmao

>>8217765
I can relate to most of this. I'm a bit surprised by your ambivalence about the label since you were talking about stims, but I guess I can see it. I want to get tested soon as a formality but it seems like a pretty safe bet.

>I'm not obsessed over a single thing but, and this is apparently a sign of female asperger, I've always cycled between brief but extreme fixations.
I haven't heard of that but I notice I kinda do that with clothes. I'll wear a few things constantly for a few weeks and then pick new favorites. I also kinda do this with food, where I eat the same thing every day for weeks and then pick something else.

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>>8217987
I'm mostly scared to be labelled that if I'm honest! It's one thing if it's me just saying it's likely and agreeing with people when they say it. It's another if a doctor says "so besides the trans thing your brain is also deficient in this way".

Maybe when I've sorted the trans stuff out better I'll be more open to getting it diagnosed

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>>8209228
>tfw not even on hrt and get this
I get how you feel op I'll cry over the smallest things, like embarrasment or sad movies.

>>8217987
>>8218009
It's just natural human variation. There is no magical test doctors can use to put it in black or white.

>>8218009
I get that, too. I didn't want to be autistic for a long time myself. Thinking I might be could make me feel helpless, and broken, and like nothing in my life could ever change for the better.
But I feel more empowered now, learning about my symptoms and how to manage them, than I did tripping over them by accident while I tried to pretend they didn't exist.
But I think you've got a good attitude about this for the most part. Acceptance is a process.

Live, goth pepe

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>my latest episode apparently made some acquaintances drop contact with me
Can I just end it now?

>>8222081
You're (presumably) a grown-ass woman. Apologize.

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Maybe there's something wrong with you. HRT made me less anxious and more calm overall. I don't get super emotional or sad for no reason.

>>8222118
I'm 41

>>8222171
Well, if they dropped contact because you lashed out at them then apologizing might help. If they dropped contact because they're jerks who can't deal with you being sad then fuck them.

>>8222118
I did, they wouldn't have it thinking it would definitely happen again.

>>8222419
That sucks. I'm sorry.

>>8217102
>>8216901
I have straight long hair and I usually curl it around my finger

>>8222597
I used to do that when I was little. Twirl and twist my hair. I did it so much that I gave myself a little bald spot in second grade! My parents and my teacher helped me kick that particular habit. Obviously I just found other things to do after that. I'm a bit disappointed that nobody saw a pattern.

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>>8209228
I feel you. Mine are bad, really bad. Within the last 10 months i was in the hospital 3 times. I'm either super happy or a crying mess. They even put me on mood stabilizers and i cut the progesterone out and lowered my estrogen dose still... its bad.
>>8222081
All people at work hate me, i never get invited and they barely talk to me. I don't know if it's even worth fixing. I don't even know how it came this far

>>8222679
How do you act?

>>8222707
I avoid talking in larger groups (during lunch) cause some colleagues intimidate me. I literally can't stop helping others or trying to help others, it annoys everyone, even me myself. I began my transition at this place so im very nervous when new people join. My ADS makes me talk way too fast and i interupt everyone while they talk, its rude but i can't do better, not even with hands on my mouth. If theres sth on my mind i have to say it out loud.
Apparantly i'm paasing but im insecure blablabla yada
Comminication sucks, misunderstandings happen all the time and it's always my fault. I dunno i'm a loner with no friends, i even annoy myself and i seem to have another crisis (again yay)

>>8222812
Fuck. Sorry. Are you doing anything to get better?

>>8222865
Opioids and sleep.
There is nothing i could do atm. Thanks for listening,lets get back to topic.

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>>8222812
>I began my transition at this place
Fuck this, I hate my job, so this is good motivation to change, but I'll probably sit it out until I get the name change so I can just switch place without suspicion.
It is a bit interesting to see peoples reactions, but at the same time it's also awful because you're basically pulling a shitton of normies into this.
Pattern with behavior change I noticed.
>some will be completely normal to me like before
>some will start talking a lot less to you, still casual small talk, but it's really stiff
>some will avoid you completely, stop talking, always giving the odd stare
Boss seems to be some kind of SJW dork, so he's super enthusiastic about this, which I guess is good for me.
There's also this rift of people who will just stop calling you by name and ones who will use your deadname extremely casually like it's no thing.

Being openly trans fucking sucks.

>>8222933
Sorry. I hope things work out for you. Get help if you can and aren't already getting it.

>>8222984
>tfw you've learned to appreciate SJWs
Annoying but kind beats cruel and cool

>emotionless brick wall before hrt
>emotionless brick wall on hrt

i guess i kind of feel like crying more but i dont actually cry

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>>8209228
im not even on HRT and i get drama queen mood swings all the time

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How long of hrt till I start being a mentally deficient 13 yo grill?

>>8227033
Could you talk more specifically about the changes you're summarizing that way?

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>>8227185
Basically what OP mentioned.

>>8226999
is that Terry A. Davis? Ayy fucking lmao

>>8217182
>When she hears that "Radio Ga Ga"
>The tranny goes boo hoo
>It makes me go haha.

>>8232264
I'm the anon you're replying to and I think that's good funposting

>>8214925
I lost my job thanks to that

Can HRT make shoulders less broad, or is that down to bone structure entirely?

>>8232677
you could maybe fudge your posture but it's pretty much your bones
>>8232658
what was your job if you don't mind sharing?

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>>8210392
>I do all that now and I haven't even started HRT yet :(

>>8232680
I was a pharmacist assistant. After a small mistake I cried for a good 30 minutes.

>>8234049
Aww I'm sorry.

>>8234049
how did that pay