>play video games since childhood for escapism from abusive

>>8205365
no legitimate transperson is going to share the same story as you. i'm sure you can relate to a lot of them men here, though.

>>8205386
go away rapee-chan.

>>8205386
Then ide like to here what a ligament trans person's story sounds like please

>>8205365
I can sort of relate. I was very feminine when I was younger but my family, school and peers pressured me to fit the male mold.

I took it upon myself to be the best "man" I could be. By 22, I was a fit, handsome, popular, smart, well educated, perfect gentleman, the pride of my entire family. By the conclusion of university I realised, much the same as yourself, I hadn't lived a single day as myself or who I wanted to be. I always knew I was trans, I always repressed it because I thought that was better for everyone. I started transition that year, now I can say I am none of the things I used to be and am still not the person I want to be.

Transition has destroyed me, I have wanted to detransition but I can't because I know that if I stop then I'll kill myself.

Fucking Christ, i swear everyone on here has had the exact same life as me... I feel ya on just about all that anon

>>8205511
Maybe learn to accept and love yourself the way you are.
Maybe stop trying be something unattainable.
Maybe understand that nobody is perfect.
Maybe just relax and live life.

>>8205511
That's exactly my fear. If I could ha e kids that would be my next goal in life, to settle down with a person and have a few children. But, I guess I'll have to adopt. I'll never know the joy of holding my own biological children. Ive been told it's the greatest joy in the world. Maybe people like us were just not meant to live for ourselves, maybe we just needed to hide away all these thoughts and emotional untill were 60 like Jenner, and let the breakdowns take over then. Maybe the struggle is what it's all about.

>>8205529
I feel like this is how I should feel about all this. Like, just calm down and back up and love life. Maybe I just need to start smoking weed again, it seems to help alot of people with disphoria

>>8205365
are you me?

>>8205365
reading threads like this always makes me grateful to be cis and have upper-middle class parents who can give me money if i really need it

>>8205365
Well I guess I can sorta relate. All I would do in my free time is play video games. I realized I was different when I was like 11 or so but when I was playing video games it kinda consumed me and I wouldn't think about it. When I turned 18 I found out what being transgender was but I was afraid to transition then and that was years ago before Caitlyn Jenner came out. I'm 23 now and I don't think I could pass and I don't know if transitioning would help me feel better. It's like yeah I desperately want to be a girl but transitioning losing all of my friends and family and still looking like a man would probably be the end of me. If I could go back in time I would've transitioned when I was 18 but oh well. Anyways I still cope the same way I used too I get home from work I play video games I sleep. I'm actually autistically good at video games after all these years of playing.

>>8205365
>similar stories
Does it count if I'm still not transitioning?

>>8205511
>I started transition that year, now I can say I am none of the things I used to be and am still not the person I want to be.
>Transition has destroyed me, I have wanted to detransition but I can't because I know that if I stop then I'll kill myself.
I'm >>8205677 and I'm extremely afraid of this happening to me.

>>8205365
Can relate.
>Played games since childhood to escape from abuse, neglect and shelteredness
>Get addicted around puberty
>Grades tank, playing games every waking hour except when in class, even played during lunch break and on the way to/back from school
>Quit games, become dysphoric
>Find out about trans stuff, everything clicks, recognize signs were there since childhood
>Can't stop thinking about it
>Promise myself I won't die a man
>Still badgrades, now browsing
/lgbt/ every waking hour
>Dysphoria stays for almost a year
>Don't act on it cause too much of a pussy, also parents hated and yelled at me and I had no friends or support network and was already known as a weirdo so marginalizing myself further wasn't gonna happen
>Eventually go back to video games, resume Counter-Strike addiction
>Dysphoria leaves completely
>Still dead inside though, nofriends, badgrades because vidya
>Fast forward a few years
>Go to college, do really well academically, have a semblance of a normal life (get up, shower, class, homework, 4chan, bed) but a few months in everything falls apart, resume addictions, keep skipping class, drop out shortly after
>Go back home, play vidya for a whole years nonstop, barely leave the house, Hikikomori-mode
>4 months ago, quit games again, spending all day on 4chan
>Month ago dysphoria comes back
>Be me now. Never been popular/fit/productive or that happy, no highlights to my life, it all felt like autopilot. Weakly dysphoric but can't get out of bed all day. Don't really think I'm trans, though I still feel like a girl sometimes. Just deeply fucked emotionally. The stuff I've gone through is enough to explain my fuckedupness, the reason I feel empty isn't my gender. "dysphoria" feels exactly the same as I did when I first had a crush too, it's probably just straight-up loneliness (never loved or been loved by anyone)

sorry for the blog

>>8205511
>now I can say I am none of the things I used to be
wait are you no longer well educated

>>8205529
Thank you for the advice, I just want you to know that I am trying to like to myself.

>>8205581
Technology will probably provide the ability for those that didn't bank sperm to reproduce anyway, it may just take another decade.

>>8205727
Only transition if you NEED to. I transitioned because it finally got the point in my life where I could no longer go out in public due to my dysphoria. I used to be very socially out going and I had a close group of girlfriends who I had a lot of fun with, but eventually just being around them made me start to feel physically ill. I just felt so jealous and disgusted by who I was. If this sounds like you then you should still transition. HRT did wonders for me, but it wasn't enough to make me pass. HRT is comforting even if you don't socially transition. As for FFS, I'm not sure that I should have gone that far.

>>8205910
A better way of putting it would be that my education no longer matters. My degree is increasingly undesirable and my appearance is very confusing to employers. I usually appear as a very feminine boy, though with the right lighting I can pass. I have been out of work for a year now with little opportunity to re-enter.

>>8205365
> play video games since childhood as escapism from parental neglection (both of them worked hard to pay the bills, it wasn't their fault)
> Spend nearly every waking hour gaming
> Get good grades, so I wasn't stopped
> Develop gaming addiction and procrastrination I've yet to kick.
> Puberty sets in
> I have access to an electric razor, so I can shave myself spotless, that kept the soul in me.
> People around me think I have a delayed puberty (which I had, thank Goddess.)
> Repress HARD, set life on autopilot, survive in front of the computer with 0 friends.
> Ask everyone around me to stop taking photos of me.
> Get into elite university. Simply remembering everything in class isn't enough anymore, and I can't study. Grades tank.
> Kick gaming addiction, start to study. In stead of vidya, I start RPing, ERPing. (Naturally, as a girl.)
> Make attempt to man up, hit the gym, get friends, go to the club, but the moment I'm drunk I start acting like a woman.
> Learn what a kilt is. 'Yay, I can wear skirts while remaining a man!' (I'm sorry, I know a kilt isn't a skirt, but that was my impression at the time.)
> Learn what transsexuality is, try to knowingly repress.
> Start growing out hair
> Start crossdressing at home (had an own place at the time, so not in sis's dresses).
> Slowly build up a full set of """""female""""" clothing and makeup. Go full-on girlmode (it looked ridiculous, like a 6 year old girl putting on lipstick, but still)
> Cry for an hour
> Yep, I'm trans.
> Agree to get on HRT after school.
> Work a night job to save up for HRT, LGR, and SRS
> Get on HRT like half a year later, because male-pattern baldness started to appear. 'Just for experimentation'
> Suddenly a ton of dysphoria was lifted from me.
> Get kicked out of job because trans
> Get kicked out by dad because of trans
> Get shitty McJobs, and gradually become better at girlmode
> Drop out of uni
> Get legal name & gender change
> Get orchi
> Get a real job

>>8205365
>Been trying to turn myself into the ideal business man, feeling like Patrick Bateman
>live in a trailer

>>8206499
>"""""female"""""
what is that supposed to mean in this context

>>8205910
>Be me now. Never been popular/fit/productive or that happy, no highlights to my life, it all felt like autopilot. Weakly dysphoric but can't get out of bed all day. Don't really think I'm trans, though I still feel like a girl sometimes. Just deeply fucked emotionally. The stuff I've gone through is enough to explain my fuckedupness, the reason I feel empty isn't my gender. "dysphoria" feels exactly the same as I did when I first had a crush too, it's probably just straight-up loneliness (never loved or been loved by anyone)
You know I often feel like this too. I don't know though I had a fucked up life and it would explain a lot of things but I just would rather be a girl at any given time.

>>8206541
Like the stuff 50 year old hons would wear when they crossdress for the first time. (I was 20 at that time.)

>>8206339
tfw that does sound a lot like me

>>8206525
Reducing your living standard increases your disposable income (your profit), which you can use for investment.

It's an optimal business decision.

>>8206555
>Like the stuff AGPs would wear when they crossdress for the first time. (I am AGP.)
FTFY

>>8206525
>>8206635
How was a 20 year old supposed to afford anything more? My credit was basically not established and I've never actually gotten any money from anyone ever. I consider it an achievement for owning a (shitty) home at 23

>>8206635
>It's an optimal business decision.
Investing in a proper building/property, get tenants, and using their rent to pay down the mortage would be the optimal business decision. After they have paid it down he can liquidize the property and using the money to expand the operation.

Even a small apartment could be paid down by getting roommates and then you won't get stuck with a worthless trailer in the end and the stigma of living like lower working class garbage.

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>>8205511
>tfw not trans
>trying as hard as i can to be fit, handsome, smart, accomplished, etc.
>tfw all these trannies made better men than me without even actually wanting it

why is life so unfair

i know it's all my fault for not working harder but i guess it's fun to pretend I'm putting effort in

>>8206859
>always played female characters
>always hated playing male characters
>feels right playing as female characters
>start to give characters feminine names
>start to pretend I'm a girl online
>feelsamazing.jpeg
>figure out that being transgender is a thing
>completely ignore signs for years
>finally accept I'm trans but it's too late I'm 22

>>8206672
More like I had no sense of fashion, nor money to buy anything other than second-hand clothing. They were simple floral-patterned shirts, and plain a-line skirts.

>>8205910
My story is very similar to yours, except I've been transitioning for a year now. It hasn't solved all of my problems, I still have a debilitating lack of motivation, I'm still very socially retarded, I'm still depressed overall.

But I do feel better about myself because of transition, I can look in the mirror and be happy about how I look 70% of the time now rather than never. I can actually cry and laugh now, rather than being an emotionless husk.

Just because I have other issues that make me depressed doesn't mean my dysphoria isn't legitimate. Don't rule yourself out of being trans just for that.

yeah op my story is pretty similar to yours except i started HRT after


>>come across /lgbt/ since I keep having people think I'm gay when I don't really feel gay
>>find out about trannies for the first time, make a few threads asking about all sorts of stuff
>>somewhere along the line, realize I feel connected to them in some wierd way
>>talk with a tgirl on here and talk about feelings

>>8206859
>be me, 7 years old
>playing pokemon for the first time, chose to be a girl
>enjoying it a ton for a few hours
>suddenly start feeling deeply ashamed of myself
>delete the save file, restart as a boy
>keep doing things like this for years
>finally get over it at age 15, now I mostly play female characters without any worry

I think I was like that because my family and friends always forced me to suppress my femininity when I was young. I had internalized shame for it and even though I constantly crossdressed, played female characters, told people on the internet I was a girl, etc I'd always feel extreme guilt afterwards.

At least I was able to break out of it at 18 before it was too late. Surprisingly, my family is completely supportive of me being trans now.

>>8206543
>I just would rather be a girl at any given time
Yeah that just feels "right" and like something that would be better for me, I also feel a bit better when I see myself like that

>>8206968
>Just because I have other issues that make me depressed doesn't mean my dysphoria isn't legitimate. Don't rule yourself out of being trans just for that.
Yeah, my goal is to get really good therapy and care, so I can fix the root causes of what's up with me. 2 options, dysphoria gets stronger because I'm mentally healthier and no longer need or want to repress, or dysphoria dissipates because I was just misinterpreting my loneliness/depression/grief and subconsciously thinking that being a girl would make me lovable, as those things would no longer be a problem.
Not ruling myself out, just don't want to mess things up further.

>>8206875
You can just be a gay bottom, anon!

>>8207006
>suddenly start feeling deeply ashamed of myself
>delete the save file, restart as a boy

Me to, I would always make a girl and feel like I could never really be a girl, and delete. Then I would have no interest playing male and drop the game. I literally avoided playing females in games so people wouldn't figure out I wanted to be a girl, now i only really play games for dress up. I've been trying to find a good dating someone with a female protagonist, but I guess they don't exist.

Also, loved reading blaze blue, even bought the fighting game on steam to read more of mai's story.

>>8207713
That's basically what I am. Still empty inside and hate myself though.

>>8205365
Why do you niggers treat this board like it's your personal blogspot page? Just go back to tumblr or wherever the fuck you came from if you want to rant about your failed life, nobody gives a fuck.

>>8208216
>Why do you niggers treat this board like it's your personal blogspot page? Just go back to tumblr or wherever the fuck you came from if you want to rant about your failed life, nobody gives a fuck.
Has 36 replies and you're the first to complain. Maybe you should find a some place new.

>>8208225
>19 hugboxing cunts mean this place is your personal bitchplatz
No, fuck off.

>>8208248
Nigger go to /pol/ or /r9k/ or some place else no one wants you here.

>>8208216
Because it is. Welcome to /lgbt/. Please go back to >>>/pol/

>>8206875
> It's too late, I'm 22.
Unless you have really shitty genetics, it's not too late until 25. Clothing and makeup are magic! Go to youtube. Even 40 year old hons who have never seen a microgram of oestrogen could be made to look decent (still a hon, but decent).

>>8208263
>no one = me
kys

>>8208279
There was no problem until you started whining just shut up please

>>8208287
No, kill yourself this second. Trannies on this board are beyond insufferable and don't belong on an imageboard, for fuck's sake you literally write detailed descriptions of your life and even post pictures of your face, basically self-doxing yourself. How is this even acceptable on 4chan?

>>8208295
Oh lol it's a butthurt gay guy
Just make some threads if you want to talk about gay stuff

Also don't repress people, at least try HRT for a month or two before deciding

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>>8208179
>Me to, I would always make a girl and feel like I could never really be a girl, and delete. Then I would have no interest.

Same one of the main reasons I can't complete persona three portable playing the female role is the most fun but hurts
the most.

Cause you can never experience life as a highs cool girl that has boys fight over her. Plus playing the male role is equally as depressing cause he's straight and despite looking like a girl it's not the same as everyone of the social links reminds you your playing a boy.

>>8208295
Look I get you're a repressing tranny but you don't have to take it out on other people. Just try HRT I bet you'll start feeling a lot better.

>>8208336
>everyone who hates trannies is a tranny
Shit like this is why nobody takes you seriously.

>>8208295
Are you dumb? Have you been in a coma for 10 years?

/soc/ has been around for a while FYI.

Maybe /b/ would be more to your liking.

>>8208353
/soc/ was created as a containment board for you Facebook tier normalfags so maybe should consider going back there

>>8208353
>reddit spacing
You're not helping yourself.

>>8208344
anon it's ok you don't have to lie to yourself here it's an anonymous image board

>>8208376
>this is your brain on HRT

>>8208368
That's not what reddit spacing is idiot.

>>8208382
anon it's ok to admit it this is /tttt/ we wont judge you

>>8208400
>>8208397
You literally type like niggers.

>>8208405
you literally type like a repressing tranny

>>8207006
>get pokemon game second hand
>save file is already a boy
>suck it up and stay a boy