tfw your parents would've supported your early transition

Same story, except they asked me at age 13.
Started at ~20, now 22. Got ffs recently. Uncanny weird looking creature now :) the pain will never end

>>8200082
Do you think just getting brow and rhino will eliminate uncanniness? I'd love to fix my jaw and stuff but I think I'd prioritize looking less uncanny and distinct over going full agp

>>8200085
Dunno really without a picture, depends from face to face. (don't actually post one, you know why)
Basically i looked like 15 at 20, like a young boy already, cute boy.
I Had forehead type 1 done, hairline lowering, chin and jaw shave.. There's nothing left which would be considered male, yet I still puke when I see my reflection. Something's just off and I cant pinpoint it.

>what ffs you should get first
If you want to get ffs, a smooth chin and jawline is the most important to passing then brow bossing.

Didn't get my nose done because its rather small, if I will then only for beauty reasons. Dont know how bad yours is tho

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just fuck my shit up senpak

>tfw they wouldn't support my transition and I went back on it after telling them at age 14 and they still wouldn't support it now

Music for this feel

If you were really a woman you wouldn't have repressed like a man, you'd have repressed to be a femboy instead. Keep lifting those weights, you look grate hon :-)

>>8200173
I was a femboy, though. Never lifted a single weight in my life.

>>8200077
You're 20 not 25 and you passed without trying if you put effort in you have ez mode.

>>8200184
>wearing hon clothes, styling your hair and caking your face with makeup will shrink your facial mask/skull width and midface height/skull height
I fucking hate this hon meme it needs to be expelled from this board immediately

>>8200077
>Give me one reason I shouldn't just kill myself right now.

Because you have parents who love you and accept you who would miss you a lot.

>>8200077
Wow, think of all the potential you had. You could pass %100 now easily if you started back then. Think of all the memories that you lost on developing and living your teenage years as a girl instead of a boy.

>>8200333
Checked. Nice trips. Also,

>implying this could hurt me any more than I've already hurt myself from these thoughts
Good try, though.

>>8200296
That's a good point, but I feel like even this won't keep me for long. Not sure if I can stay around them anymore knowing all this. Wish they didn't tell me desu.

>>8200214
maybe you shouldn't have developed a man skull in addition to not starting early

sucks 2 b u

>>8200184
I'm not sure there's going to be much difference, honestly. I don't imagine the difference between 20-25 would be quite as great as 13-18.

>>8200376
I am not trying to hurt you, I am very sorry for your situation. I can empathize a bit with you because of different mistakes I also feel I lost most of my young years. It's going to be alright, with time and effort I'm sure you'll end up somewhat passing.

>>8200414

social skill level: minus 9000

>>8200434
that's not a very nice thing to say

>tfw not only would they have not supported my transition but most likely would have had me abducted and forced into one of those pray the gay away torture camps

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>>8200077

>ignoring the fact that they always voted Democrat

>tfw this means nothing when your parents are Hispanic

Anyway, I wasn't really that GNC, more like I was genderless and emotionless because of depression. Eventually there came a point where my father asked if there was something wrong with me and he said could take me to see a doctor to see if I have a vitamin deficiency or my body isn't producing something I need since I was depressed as shit at and not at all the way I was as a small child (happy). At first I brightened up and thought he realized I wanted to be a girl, but then I realized he must be talking about some homeopathic garbage (he had done this before) or anti-depressants and that his mind was already set on me having some other issue. I thought for sure he wouldn't have accepted me being trans because he had already blown up about it before. So I told him that I didn't want anything. That might have been at 13 or 14. He might have asked me some times after that, but I only remember the first time.

A year after coming out, my father said even though he wouldn't think starting transition would be a good thing for me to do, he would have allowed me to when I was underage. I'm not totally sure I should believe that, but when I came out to my parents, I got the impression that I worried for nothing and though they would have been against me at first, I could have convinced them. It was a painful feeling.

>>8200077
>>8200082

But anyway, I'm surprised there are two more anons like you. The first one I met on this board was taken to a gender therapist at 6, the other I think was asked at 13 as well, but her parents were electrical engineers and she started at 18.

>>8207589
>I thought for sure he wouldn't have accepted me being trans because he had already blown up about it before.
How did he blow up before?

What age did you end up coming out?

>The first one I met on this board was taken to a gender therapist at 6
How does that happen?

>the other I think was asked at 13 as well, but her parents were electrical engineers and she started at 18.
What do electrical engineers have to do with it?

>>8200077
>>8200082
>>8207589

Forgot to add, I can't imagine the self-hatred you two must feel. I hate myself pretty badly and I wasn't even directly offered up the early tranny option by my parents like you four were.

>>8207633

>How did he blow up before?

See >>8198788

There was a time before that, when I think I was a 6th grader that my brother and I were arguing about our youngest brother being our assistant. I would say our youngest brother was my assistant, and my brother would say that he was his. My father misheard (because he doesn't speak English properly) that we were saying that he's our sister and he butted in to "correct" us. Apparently that reminded him of a time when I was 2 or 3, when I was calling the same brother that I was arguing with my sister. In that case, he likely didn't mishear me because I don't think I knew English by that point.

>What age did you end up coming out?

I came out to my brother two months before turning 21, but 15 days before my birthday when I told my parents.

>How does that happen?

I don't remember as well anymore. It was probably because she was GNC. She was taken to the psych and the psych was convinced she was trans, but she was worried about doing it, I don't remember her reason for feeling that way. Since she decided it wasn't appropriate for her to transition, she felt it wouldn't be right for her parents to waste money on the therapy sessions, so she didn't make another appointment (I could really see myself in that). She had multiple suicide attempts after that and she ended up in a psychiatric hospital. There, her parents asked her what was wrong with her and she came out as trans. Her parents said that if she really were trans the psych they took her to as a child would have helped her so they don't think she's trans at all.

>>8207633
>>8208923

>What do electrical engineers have to do with it?

I only mentioned the electrical engineer part and that she started at 18 to distinguish her from >>8200082. When I talked to her, I asked her if she thought her parents might have met other trannies in their line of work (since trannies so often end up working with computers) and if that made them open to the possibility of helping their trans child transition early. She said that her parents weren't rank and file engineers, instead I think her mother was a CTO and she said her father was a consultant, so she didn't think that was why.

>>8200077
ill give you one reason to be me gf

>>8208931
OP here. My parents are also in the computer industry. It really does seem that people in this line of work are more tolerant of these things.

Makes me want to die to realize all of this now.

>>8209380
Generally the higher the education level, the more tolerant they are.

>>8209389
I agree. They both have graduate degrees. That said, they're both immigrants from eastern asia, and have a very traditional and strict way of parenting. That's what led me to think they wouldn't support me.

>>8209380
How long did you repress? How did you know you were trans?

>>8214369
Repressed since 14. Before that, I was trying to build the courage to come out. And I've always known I was a girl. There was never an "aha" moment for me. If you mean when I found the definition of transgender and how it applied to me, probably around 12-13.

>>8215060
How were you feminine before learning about transgender? How did you start repressing at 14?

>>8215246
Umm, well, it's hard to describe. I fit in with girls much, much more easily.

And these may be stereotypes, but I also preferred dressing up and looking pretty instead of being rough and cool, and I mostly preferred imagination/storytelling-related games and toys. I also much preferred reading and writing over math and abstract thinking, but majored in CS anyway (really getting into stereotypes now!)

>>8200077
Same here, I just came out today to them both and they both knew

>>8216101
How old are you now? What's your story?

>>8216177
20, came out two days ago
Parents always knew but know how hard it is
Where I live is pretty shitty to trans so they just hoped I'd grow out of it

They were always slightly homophobic, so I never came out but apparently my Dad had felt the same too but after they had me and my brother he just repressed it

>>8215399
You said you were hyper feminine in the OP. Can you expand on that?

>>8200077
>be me
>13 year old MtF
>Not particularly masculine or feminine, but a good method actress
>Dad just died.
>Didn't know their politics, but was naive enough to believe them when they would say "I would love you no matter what"
>With only 1 parent to come out to, I felt a bit more brave
>Came out
>My mom's response: "I'd rather you were dead"
>Gaslight myself back into the closet out of guilt and shame
>Basically become a robot for the next 4 years
>Age 17
>Something snaps, and dysphoria comes rushing back
>6'3" and hyper masc bone structure due to marfan syndrome
>Too cowardly to kill myself
>Decide to transition
>Spend a year and a half persuading my mom to reluctantly let me transition
>Have no close friends
>Too socially awkward to make new friends
>My family thinks what I'm doing is wrong
>Basically have no support structure

You can look at your situation one of two ways. Either in the "GOD I'M AN IDIOT WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING UGGH!" way, or the "I'm so lucky to have such amazing parents <3" way.

>>8200077
fuck you

>>8218446
?

>>8218446
me too thanks

>>8218626

They're probably mad OP was so lucky to have her parents but still fucked up so hard. In the cases I described in >>8208923 and >>8208931, I personally would like to believe I wouldn't be so stupid that I would waste a shot like that, but they gave really relatable reasons that put doubt in my mind about what I really would have done. So I don't resent them for fucking up. I do wish my parents had been like theirs instead though (up until taking the girl to a psych, not the part about ignoring her pleas for help after she stopped seeing the therapist).

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>always get bullied when i try to make friends in elementary school
>develop anxiety about telling people anything
>dad was conservative but reasonable, mom was liberal and the same
>find out I'm trans at 15
>way too pussy to tell my parents
>order diy at 16
>mom freaks out when she signs for the package and sees obvious customs declaration and pills shaking in bottle
>couldnt just tell her, give up and repress instead
>dad dies at 17
>constantly humor idea of writing mom a letter or something but never do it
>for 6 years until she died
>finally bothered at 22 to start because parents are dead even though they likely would've supported you when you tried to start at 16

At least my bones are kinda average and already had pretty low t

Somewhat similar

>Be teen
>Accidentally forgot to erase internet history of women dildoing
>Mother yells out my first and middle name
>Immediately know what she is going to yell at me about
>Calls me a pervert, how could I look at that ect
>Asks me if I wish I had a dick and continues to yell at me asking why I wear boy clothes and shit
>Deny everything even though I wanted to be a boy since forever
>Triggered my dysphoria so me being a little shit I discover booze and drugs
>Get kicked out constantly so I go voluntarily go to run away safe house for teens
>Fast forward to 18, move back home
>Mom still wonders why I dress like a boy
>Told her I don't feel right in my body and that I'm going for gender reassessment therapy
>She supports it, even told me she knew something was up when I was younger
>Get approved for hormone therapy
>My mothers side of family is very supportive
>She even did my IM injections
>Grandma and mom told me that they would have supported me during my troubled teen period

I have been able to do my own shots since docs said I can do sub-cut injections. I don't feel the need to be inebriated all the time since transition because I'm not that much of a depressed piece of shit. I'm just glad to be where I am now.

>>8219216
She kicks you out then supports you in the end anyway?

>>8200077
Makeup wig,posture.Try to work it out

>>8200082
They ASKED you at 13 and you saod no?
What is wrog with you? 13 was a peak time in my disphoria, if my parents had seemed accepting I would have jumped on that shit immediately.
>Be me, watch a movie(Transamerica)with my mom
>oh shit she knows somehow
>watch the movie in uncomfortable mostly silence
>tranny character is gross, but I empathize with her, also decided to not end up like her
>after the movie I tell my mom that I have something to tell her
>Her, without pause: "if you tell me you're a tranny I'm disowning your ass"
>say something stupid
>cry for the next few years

Surprises of surprises, she was awful when I came out. Now I understand why black trans people end up as prostitutes ao often.

>>8220659
How old are you now and when did you start transition? Are you straight?

Anon could have been frightened to come out. They might not have been accepting despite asking her.

>>8220659
Not her (I'm OP), but kids are idiots, especially if they're scared and alone. I legitimately thought my mom was trying to trick me into admitting I was trans so she had a valid excuse to kick me out or give me a beating.

My own parents were extremely strict and did often hit me, so I was frankly scared of them.

>>8219216
I was kicked out for using drugs and alcohol and running away from home anon, since you didn't seem to catch that part.

>>8219232

Doesn't seem like he got kicked out for being trans though. More like keeping secrets and drugs/alcohol probably

>>8221414
>I legitimately thought my mom was trying to trick me into admitting I was trans so she had a valid excuse to kick me out or give me a beating.
It's sickening that any child, trans or cis, lives in this kind of fear.

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>parents claim to want their children's happiness above all
>okay with queer relatives (they never had to deal with it from their children though)
>but also otherwise conservative
>have hit me for much smaller things than something as big as being trans before
>they're generally eccentric and flaky, mom loves arguing over nothing
I can't believe I wasted so many years of my life being scared of my parents. I can never get a read on how they'd react to their son wanting to transition, they're so confusing... I guess I'm pathetic for not just doing it. I even had the family therapist in my teens ask me what I wanted if I could have anything, but no, I guess this is what I get for not just speaking my mind boldly right then. I'll probably tell them soon, I just want to make sure I'm secure elsewhere with my (very supportive) boyfriend first.

Fuck, why can't things just be simpler. I'm such a colossal fuckup.

>>8221254
26 now, came out at 18, hormones at 19.
And I'm bi.
>>8221414
Put that way it makes more sense. If my mom did a 180 and started probing intp that I might have thought she was full of shit. Kinda like the therapy appointments I got dragged to for being sad/angry/depressed. They turned into a bitch session about how awful of a child I was until the therapist had to take me aside. didn't tell him anything because I though he'd tell my mom.
I kick myself all the time for not telling him how I was feeling.

>Be 8 and only wearing dresses around the house, mum thought it was so cute.
>Teased for being weak at school
>Dancing a lot, effeminate start to learn that boys aren't supposed to do that
>Panic, try to be a boy
>19, Mum dies and I'm still repressing. Live on /cd/ and almost buy hormones on many occasions
>20 w a girlfriend. Finally cave and get on hormones.
>About to tell dad
>He comes out and says he's on estrogen but not going to transition (lol)
>what
>Finally own up that I'm about to transition.
>"Yeah your mother said she thought you were trans, she could tell"

great, thanks for making me wait guys

>>8226443
Was there more than dresses that made your mom think you were trans? And could you tell that your dad was trans as well?

>>8226443
How feminine/GNC were you as a kid? What crossdressing to you do? How attracted are you to boys and to girls?

>>8200077
Yup, time to kill yourself!

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>Throughout childhood parents always scolded me for not being manly enough
>Forced me to play sports
>Dad shaved my head with a razor because I cried at the barber's
>Started picking on me at 12 for having scrawny arms and made me work out
>Called me in front of all his friends when drinking one night to laugh at how girly I looked
>Once slapped me because a female friend put glitter on my face
>Come out as trans at 16
>"What? We never pressured you at all, you could have told us earlier"
>mfw

I'm 21 now and passing and whatever, but my parents deny everything they did and parade around that they're heroes for not kicking me out.

>>8230858
What bastards. How can they deny it?

>>8230858
iktf
my parents also say they don't remember ever forcing me to act more masculine. I have memories of lots of shit they did over the years.

>>8230990
what did they do?

>>8230858
When did you start hormone therapy?

>tfw they probably would have done but chose repression route instead

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Hello darkness my old friend...
>tfw could've started early if I wasn't a GIANT wuss
>all day is regret of how everything would be better but I had to shoot myself in the foot by not just standing up for myself

>>8200077
>>8236668
Honestly there are so many people who have this issue - maybe try to get in on some kind of meetup for such circumstances? I know a person who didn't start transitioning until late 30s and will probably never "pass" beyond androgynous. (But they are particularly good with voices so that'll probably help a little, and always grew their hair long)

So basically - try to meet up/form relationships with other people based on shared /real world problems/ that's how most """"""normal"""""" relationships form.

>>8236668
when'd you transition

>>8236698
I don't know anyone in the same situation as me and my one trans friend was a dick so I can't even talk to him anymore. Also too much social anxiety and stuff to go out and find other like-minded people...

>>8236814
Broke repression at 18, went femboy until I 20 when I was able to get my hands on HRT since it's hard/almost impossible to self-med in my country

>>8200102
>I still puke when I see my reflection
this is probably all in your head. post a pic, i bet it's not as bad as you think.

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>>8230952
Cognitive dissonance? They don't call me a liar outright, just make out as though I'm mistaken.

>>8233103
They wouldn't let me start until I was 18, so the day after my birthday.

>>8237742

>Cognitive dissonance?

I think there's a bit of that going on with my father as well.

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Ok, posting this here because I have no idea where else it could go and be relevant, but...

holy shit, >>8209096 there posted a Sergei Prokudin-Gorskii pic and I missed it. Wish I could have talked to whoever that anon was when it was still open. :(

>>8200077
I would have killed myself anon
sorry :(

>>8200077
This again?

My parent hates trannies so even though I came out at 14 it's not like it mattered in the end :^)

>>8241891
What did they do to you?

>>8241905
not the same person, but they threw away my stuffs, beat me up and made fun of me

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>>8241905
It wasn't as bad as some other situations people have had to go through. My mom tried to cope by refusing to accept me as trans. Even me being gay was preferable to me being a tranny, and she hates fags. For the first year after I came out she mostly sent me emails detailing the rapes and deaths of trannies everywhere. After a while the things my mom sent to me started progressing into really bizarre accusations. For example, one time she thought I was going to join ISIS and her reasoning behind it was that since I was being discriminated against in America it must mean I was going to escape with a rebel group in retaliation. Her response to the issue was to email an explanation of how I'd get raped and killed if I decided leave the States to travel with terrorists.

It was humiliating to say the least. I couldn't even talk to her face-to-face without having to listen to her badger on about my legitimacy every 5 seconds. It started being a struggle just to exist in the same house as her. Tensions were at a constant high and we ended up fighting nearly every day over the most random shit. Eventually, I started avoiding her and asked her to stop bringing up tranny stuff so often and she did for a while. When we got along sometimes I would ask if I could take steps to transition, though her only response was to step around the problem whenever it was brought up. It always lead back to the stupid "are you sure you're not gay?" conversation. After a while I just gave up trying to explain anything; nothing I would have said would have been good enough.

The good thing is that I'm finally on hormones. My mom still hates the idea and looks disgusted whenever I mention I'm on medication, but at least I'm somewhat happier.

>>8242261
When did you end up starting?

>>8242261
>For example, one time she thought I was going to join ISIS and her reasoning behind it was that since I was being discriminated against in America it must mean I was going to escape with a rebel group in retaliation

please tell me you pointed out the irony there?

>>8242289
18
>>8242339
Anon, I can barely formulate a comeback without sounding like I'm having a stroke
>D-d-d-duh m-mmmmmom I know ISIS is b-b-bad

>>8242409
Do you pass now, at least?

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>>8242684

>tfw I had no dysphoria until I found out transitioning is actually a thing you can do
Being a fake tranny is great

>>8244240
Greentext the whole thing.

>>8244312
>be fucked up ADHD kid
>have an overall lonely and miserable experience growing up, probably slightly autistic
>lose my virginity to best friend at 12, I kinda want to kiss but he's not into it, he puts a stop to it eventually, repress bisexuality
>socially hobbled by high school, also a fatass
>lift heavy weights at 15 because weightlifting was an offered class and being stronk was fun, stop after that
>begin to lose weight
>transvestic fetishism all in teen years, because I'm AGP babee
>date online, bang girls at 16 somehow, it's alright
>have a lot of submissive fantasies and begin acting more feminine in college...
>find tranny stuff at 19
>go off the deep end by 20

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>>8236668

I know that feeling, senpai. I never even tried. I nearly said something multiple times, but I never actually did say anything.

>>8240320
oh hey finally a thread i made gets screenshoted

>>8247785
But you didn't make that post I imagine. One of the guy posing pensively outdoors.

>>8247799
Nope, not me. Sorry :(

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>>8200077
10/10 I fucking died lmao

>>8219232
For using drugs anon, not being trans.