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Hey its me OP
What is my sexuality 2017-04-27 05:20:14 Post No. 8183871
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What is my sexuality 2017-04-27 05:20:14 Post No. 8183871
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Wall of text incoming. 24/M here. I lost my virginity to a girl when I was 17, but definitely started to realize I had an attraction to guys when I was 15/16. Super, super picky though. I never really found guys attractive growing up, etc.
During my senior year of HS, I would end up cheating on her for a while with a 10/10 brazilian exchange student (he's working as an actor in Brazil now). Started with making out (and holy shit the feels I felt during that first kiss), progressed to handjobs, he blew me a few times but I was way too nervous and intimidated by the penis to put it in my mouth. I also could never finish with him due to nerves. I never felt the slightest bit regret it in the slightest, I feel it was an experience I needed to have. I was with that girl I lost my v-card to for close to two years before breaking it off, felt absolutely nothing when I did. Fast forward a couple years, a handful of hookups with random girls here and there, but still keeping my eye out for a potential guy, I really wanted to do more - give blowjob, try butt stuff.
So I end up meeting a guy playing Counter Strike - online shooter for this who don't know - and we hit it off, I ended up driving the 4 hours to see him a few months later. He's a total closeted kissless virgin, absolutely adorable but very sheltered. Get there, not two hours later he's taking my pants off, I stop him cuz I promised to go first. Thisisreallyhappening.jpg
Dick goes in my mouth, woo I'm doing it. Blows load in my mouth, kinda hate the taste but swallow it of course cuz I'm not a pussy. Next few days is lots of making out, handies, blowjobs etc.
We've been together for two and a half years now, he goes to school in Florida, graduating next week and already has a programming job lined up there. So now we're looking to move in together in the next few months.
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>>8183871
Cont.
So here's my dilemma: aside from the fact that I'm absolutely terrified and sad about moving away from my family that I'm very close with, I still whack it to straight porn sometimes. This bothers me. I'd say it's gay 70% of the time. The straight porn I look at must have anal, and almost always DP. Hardcore shit only really. I usually end up actually finishing with gay. But it still bothers me that I get off to straight shit now and again. I have no desire whatsoever to be with a girl. Am I bi? Is sexuality just a spectrum and the porn I'm getting off to some kind of subconscious animosity I hold towards women? I'm an extremely laid back guy, no problems with anyone, probably would have been a hippie if I grew up in the 60s/70s. I'm absolutely head over heels for my bf, two+ years later he's still on my mind like all day, every day. He'll probably treat me better than anyone else ever will, he's the best person I've ever met. But I'm so terrified that someday down the line I might break his heart, and I can't stand that thought. Any thoughts? Also willing to share any stories if anyone's interested, I think they're pretty cute.
Tl;dr - lost virgins to girl, now in LTR with boy, madly in love but still scared of the straight leanings I have now and again.
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I'll give you a hint: it's the third letter in LGBT.
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i'm not op, but is wanking to gay porn a requirement of being into men? I've thought i was bi, i find some dudes extremely attractive and there's a certain magnetism to them, but gay porn just isn't my thing. What's up with that?
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>>8183883
Yeah but fuck man idk. I used to tell people I was bi but now I just say I'm gay, a lot easier that way. Vaginas completely gross me out, I went down once and never again. Begging to have him finish inside me feels pretty fucking gay. I have to wonder if my upbringing suppressed my gayness. But that creeping feeling that one day it might change is happening more often than ever now that I'm about to move across the country for him.
>>8183927
I've never liked gay porn vids really, seems too fake (also furry trash BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT), however some of the gay stuff over in /gif/ is really fucking hot, I started checking it out there recently.
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>>8183880
You're gay dude.
I'm the same way.
I watch a lot of straight porn and even have sex with women now and then.
But men are way more attractive to me and the sex is just so much better with men.
So I identify as gay.
I think it is a spectrum so you could be somewhere in the middle, but it is easier just to identify as gay, especially since you have a bf.
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>>8183880
Give stories
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>>8184235
Wew I'm gonna be leaving for work shortly so I'll just do a quick rundown of some stuff with Brazil.
>Halloween, everyone in school is dressed up. I'm Ash from pokemon
>Brazilian comes into cafeteria, skimpiest nurse outfit you've ever seen
>heartattack.png
>I must have him, text girl that's close with him about him being gay
>He sees it and thinks I'm really cute.
>Draws me an adorable growlithe with my name and a heart
>have jealous gf so nothing happens for a few months
>eventually start to befriend him outside school, go to his host family bedroom
>whole room covered in printed pics of male models
>talk about kissing guys but feel guilty about it
>a few weeks later bring him overnight to our beach house
>sleeping in the same room, bunk bed
>hear him whisper "come down here"
>crawl into bed with him, he kisses me, start making out
>reach down and grab his dick through his boxers, heart beating out of my chest
>we grind for a while, kissing, feeling up
>nothing further happens that night
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>>8184362
>start hanging out frequently, making out constantly
>couple weeks later, sleeping at his place
>get drunk on captain morgan, end up in bed
>grinding, kissing, he takes off my clothes
>goes down on me, holy shit this is happening
>BJ puts my gf to shame this is incredible
>still too nervous to finish, start to jerk him off (hes uncut, was awesome to me)
>he's on top of me, getting close leans down and finishes all over my chest
>omg this is so hot, I'm on cloud 9
>fall asleep naked and cuddling, so much better than my gf
>realize I'm addicted to being covered in jizz, start jerking him off every chance I get
Things would unfortunately take a turn for the worse a couple months later, I'll get into it if anyone cares after work
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