>tfw no Christian Middle Eastern bf to cuddle

Just find yourself a nice neo-Nazi Christian of German descent and hit him real hard in the head with a crowbar 3 or 4 times, then wait for him to wake up, it's the same thing.

>>8179628
Why not?
Are you hideous or otherwise repugnant?
Go out there and find him!

>>8179644
The chances of finding a guy I love who happens to be Middle Eastern, Christian, and a nice guy who loves me back is slim to none. I live in a ghost town in Southern Illinois. A man can dream, I suppose.

>>8179674
>A man can dream, I suppose.

Yes, or lower your standards.
I'm guessing you're not exactly a catch.

>>8179674
why christian? why not just non-muslim?

>>8179725
Because if it was actually obtainable then I couldn't whine on the internet and get sympathy and I'd actually have to interact with a human in real time and that would be ... problematic at best and completely humiliating at worst.

>>8179725
I'd be fine with a non-muslim but I'm Christian myself so I suppose it would be ideal for him to be one too.

>>8179771
Lol fuck off, chief.

>>8179724
Fantasizing is more fun.

>I'm guessing you're not exactly a catch.
Can't confirm or deny. Can't really make that pronouncement myself.