Sudoku thread

Overdosed a year ago. Been hospitalized three times for suicidal ideation and self-harm. This shit ain't comfy desu. I would only ever say do it if you've tried everything and nothing has worked. Sometimes you can be misdiagnosed, for example, and then all the drugs they try are ineffective. I was on antidepressants for a while, but since I actually have Bipolar that shit wasn't helping. Now I'm on Lithium and I feel completely different. So yeah, it gets better anon.

>>8125232
>loosely follow semi-famous trans girl
>one day see it announced that she's died
>no mention of how

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>>8125232
I attempted suicide by overdose like this >>8125254 anon. Can confirm that it feels absolutely fucking awful. Through that awful experience I decided that I should try giving life a real shot, and if it doesn't work out, just get a goddamn gun next time, because fuck, dying hurts.

It's not worth it, trust me. Try drugs, they're fun. But nothing hard as meth or heroine. Smoke weed, enjoy music, eat pizza, get a girlfriend if you can. Get a new fashion style, make friends, play video games, read books, watch movies... I know that world can be a dark place but there is some light in it, you just gotta find it.

I've overdosed several times and simply woke up the next day no hangover
I've been in two brief comas but recovered before I got in any trouble, although a few days of dehydration is a bitch
I was hospitalized for a week because I got caught cutting
A high school friend of mine drowned himself
Another high school friend of mine found his best friend's body when she shot herself

If you're gonna kill yourself try drugs first they've got the lowest success rate and you get to experience a suicide attempt so you can have a larger perspective of the issue

Someone posted this in another thread:
>>8124786
>A friend was struggling with mental illness and killed herself. Knowing what I know now I believe she was ftm. She had major depressive disorder and some kind of social anxiety.
>>8125019
>Towards the end she admitted she wish she were born male and hated her body. She often talked about the few times she was mistaken for male fondly. Her family was strongly catholic and she was afraid to talk to her parents about it.

Depressed over my life and death of my sister so decided to overdose. Drove to a neighboring state, into the mountains and walked down a trail. Drank whisky and took a bunch of pills and laid down to die.

Work up the next morning covered in my own vomit and a wicked headache. Drove 3 hours home crying.

Decided I wasn't going to end it after all my sister did for me so got my shit together. Went to college, got a good job, bought a house, had several good relationships and doing OK now.

>>8130637
How did your sister die?

Did the pills do permanent damage to your liver?

>>8130655
>How did your sister die?
She was robbed and murdered.

>Did the pills do permanent damage to your liver?
Apparently not. I probably puked the pills up before any damage done. Though I still drink a lot so that probably doesn't help my liver.

>>8130763
Shit. How old was she and how old were you at the time? I'm glad your body's ok.

>>8125232
I came to the realization I can not kill myself by ODing on pills. I took more than what killed Heath Ledger on multiple occasions and I lived every time. If I actually want to die I came to the conclusion I need a gun.

>>8131253
>what killed Heath Ledger on multiple occasions

How does that work

I tried to hang myself once. I did a pull up on my curtain hangers and they held me alright so I tied up a noose on it, got up on a latter, stepped off, and my curtain hangers broke after probably no more than two or three seconds and I landed on my feet just fine. Still I was shaky and adrenalin-rushing afterwards and now I'm too scared to ever try again.

>>8130774
I was 22, she was 26.

>>8125232
ODing is a meme

Hanging is risky, do it when nobody is in the house (don't do it when they're sleeping, you flailing your unconscious limbs around will wake everyone up), if you're interrupted, expect to lose some or most of your IQ points

Gun to the head can vary from a meme to a dream, a low calibre pistol right through the brain might not even send you unconscious, while a point blank shotgun blast under the roof of the mouth works 99.9% of the time

Helium bags are a thing of the past because they're diluted now, Nitrogen bags might work

If you own a car then you can try to kill yourself from CO poisoning, I think that's effective but I don't know the details

Jumping is effective, but don't try anything less than 10 stories, preferably jump off a massive bridge so you'll drown if you don't immediately die - if it fails you'll probably end up paralyzed and unable to try to kill yourself a second time

Slicing your carotid arteries is kind of effective, I've read that people have sliced half of their neck open and still somehow missed it, so go with a large razor and apply way more force than is needed

Slicing your wrists is a meme, it can work if you do it long ways, but most of the time you'll give up on wanting to kill yourself half way through as you're bleeding out, and then you'll end up with a very messy bathroom, and fucked up arms

Jumping under a bus is a good way to break some bones, but you'll get medical attention so quickly that you probably wont die

Jumping under a train is much more effective but still risky, but even better than that, I've heard people who've tried laying on the train tracks as the train turns around a step corner so that it decapitates them, this would be near instant and painless death, however this is a really gorey way to go, and it traumatises all of the normies on the train, while a shotgun blast to brain will only traumatise your family and whoever they pay to clean you up.

there's no perfect suicide

>>8125835
this x1000, death is not the solution, ever

>>8131602
What about a stab to the heart?

>>8131650
Hmm, I guess even a minor cut would cause death, I'm no doctor but if you jab the knife all the way through then your heart would bleed out.

I'm not sure if there are any pain nerves in the heart, but piercing your skin would hurt a lot.

Why not just go for the neck? You also have to try getting around your ribs which might cause you to miss.

Gunshots to the heart have been documented before, and often successful, so a knife, which is wider and won't be slowed down dramatically by the rib cage may be even more effective.

Just don't use a kitchen knife, even a especially sharp one may not be effective enough, preferably buy a combat (bowie?) knife off the internet that's actually designed for killing people. I believe they cost around 30 - 60 dollars.

that being said senpai, suicide is the absolute last resort. Sometimes life just isn't living anymore, but at the end of the day it's permanent, the money spent on the knife would be far better spent on LSD or even just antidepressants.

>>8131292
>I took more than what killed Heath Ledger on multiple occasions and I lived every time.
This is why reading the whole sentence is important.

When I was 14 I went for a bike ride alone one evening and tried to kill myself by falling off a bridge, got close to doing it but a couple was walking by and intervened. They called me out, which sort of brought me back to my senses for a few seconds, and I fled before they caught up to me.

I was brutally raped when I was 11, and Ssarted having gay feelings around 12-13. thought the two were connected, and that I was some freak that liked what he did to me on some level. Plus I had read a lot of articles that said most abusers were abused themselves as kids, which made me terrified and disgusted with myself. Sprinkle bullying in school and prrssure at home on top.
Thinking back, I don't know if I actually wanted to die, or if I just thought I had no choice.

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For a confluence of reasons, I was inclined to walk out of life in my early 20s. I spent many several nights lying in bed with a Glock under my chin and trying to work up the willpower to give the trigger the necessary squeeze.

My life changed drastically and things went from being suicidal depression to suicidal depression + being on the brink of destitute. The last and final night the inclination came over me to put a muzzle in my mouth and make myself pull the trigger, I was by myself and I had taken 2 tabs of acid and was tripping really hard. This time, I had a 5 shot .38 special snub as I knew I would more than likely only get stuck with hesitation if I used the semi auto, so I decided to leave things to random chance.

I put one round in the cylinder and spun it, I cocked the hammer and put it to my temple. I pulled the trigger. Went click. I cried... sobbed. Became violently angry. I let the round drop out of the cylinder and threw it as hard as I could in an arbitrary direction. It went through my apartment window. Maybe it was the acid or the spun wheel of fate saying 'no', but I completely lost the desire to want to do anything like that again.

>>8125232
Why do you want to kill yourself? Tell us your story, maybe we can help.

>>8131686
I mean if you put yourself into situations where it's inevitable it's easier

>>8131795
A shot to the temple is a great way to blind yourself and drown in your own blood.

>>8134758
What? How the fuck is somebody going to drown on their blood? Don't say anything unless you know wtf you're talking about retard.

>>8134772
It pools into your sinuses faster than it can drain. The only 100% guaranteed instant death is destroying your brainstem.

>>8125259
if it's Sphirex / Sable Hart, she killed herself because it was taking literally years to get an SRS approval letter from her NHS GIC
it arrived two days after her killed herself, the whole thing was really fucked up and sad, she died in her boyfriend's arms after ODing apparently

>>8131253
quantum immortality is a bitch anon
just wait til you hit 130 and realise you're still going

>>8131602
what about cutting an artery in the arm and bleeding out in a hot bath?

also somebody pls post pain indexes

>>8134804
You'll be in excruciating pain, involuntarily freak the fuck out and call an ambulance. Wrist slitting has one of the lowest mortality rates of any method, and you run a huge risk of fucking up your tendons and never being able to use your hand(s) properly again. Either >.45 to your soft palate or drop from 200+ feet because the odds are against you for everything else.

A friend of mine killed himself in back of a CVS store back in September right after I think he broke things off with his fucked up girlfriend who just quit her job. Son of a bitch still owed me like 100 bucks. Although I heard that is was accidental because he was putting his revolver in his satchel bag thing on his motorcycle and somehow the hammer got stuck and it fired and hit him and he bled out. But he didn't have a concealed carry license so he would be allowed to carry it on him, so I doubt it was accidental.

Although he did live for at least a few minutes because he dragged himself against the wall of the store, so I wonder what was going on in his mind as he faded into death. He would never play another Zelda game, he would never get to see any more Star Wars movies, and we would never hang out ever again...

I remember that Tuesday morning, I work for the police in the I.T. dept. so I get to see all the calls that come in on and such and I saw that a dead body had been found over at CVS, and I was like wow that ain't good. A few hours go by and his GF called me, me thinking she and him wanted to go get dinner later, crying that he had died. I was like fucking shit not again (my best friend before him died back in 11th grade). So I called my dad to go check out the store to see if his car or bike was there and sure enough it was there. So to make a hectic week even worse because my only other 2 co workers were out of the state on a training course so not only was I in charge of the IT department for the police dept for week my best friend shoots himself. I took out some stress by sledgehammering 2 old hard drives the next day while talking to a Lieutenant.

I'm beginning to miss him a little, his last text message was on the Sunday before, he wanted to go for a beer but I was already too tired to go so he said 'alright, we will shoot for next week then' - how prophetic

>>8134786
>she killed herself because it was taking literally years to get an SRS approval letter from her NHS GIC
>it arrived two days after her killed herself,
Fuck the NHS.

>>8139304
>her killed herself
British education everyone

>>8134793
>this must be how Keanu feels

OP are you still alive?

>>8134777
If one were to come in from the side correctly, you can put one through the neural motor strips and effectively accomplish exactly that... although it'd be at the tip top of your ear, and not your temple.

>>8143579
Still alive. Comments made me feel slightly better actually. Being miserable together is slightly less miserable.

OP here. Might as well share my story. I never actually made an attempt. I've had numerous break-points, where I would grab a knife and fill a bath, but I'd pussy out halfway or right before attempting.

Currently mostly stuck with the feeling of no purpose and never finding a bf. I'm in university college, but I feel like I'm not gouging anywhere. Need a bf to fuck and love.

A good friend drank a bottle of absinthe and passed out on train tracks. It apparently took 2 days to identify what was left of him.
We have no idea if it was on purpose or not, but he was always depressed and his myspace(this was about 11 years ago) was bizarre as fuck, like hyper-customized insanity with this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T22MTBhU4Zg playing and could easily be interpreted as a suicide... art instillation...note.

His death really fucked me up for a good long time. Id sit and listen to that song for hours on repeat and just cry picturing his body getting by a train and his life being over and gone.
The only thing that helped me get out of it was watching really gory horror movies. I used to love horror movies, like I grew up watching them and had always considered my love of horror movies to be a huge chunk of my personality.. and he had introduced me to tons of weird obscure ones and that was part of how we became friends. Since then I have serious trouble watching them, or any movie where people get hurt, I get really anxious and uncomfortable like I can feel the pain myself, and I have to fight myself to stay still and pay attention and remind myself over and over that it's just a movie.

Personally though, I've never legitimately considered suicide. I think it has something to do with growing up out in the woods, an only child, with neglectful parents... I grew up valuing my own perspective more than other peoples(because that was all I had). It always seems like everyone who kills themselves cares way too much about what other people think. I have a lot of baggage that I will never be able to let go of, but if things get really bad, I can just carry that baggage back into the woods and live in a cabin by myself and have a nice time without anyone else's bullshit.

>>8143842
Are you gay or trans?

>>8134786
She had FFS though so why couldn't she afford to go to Thailand?

>>8125277
What did you overdose on?