Some people weren't meant to make it

>>8120606
I won't say that death is the worst option no matter what. There are a millions things worse than death, and not be able to transition is definitely a understandable reason. It's not quite the same thing, but a few months ago I made a similar vow with myself, pour everything into my future and make one final push pass successfully or take my own life, I felt a lot of peace then as well, because I knew the worst thing that could possibly happen is that I would die after a few years, instead of a lifetime of suffering or repression, which is what I had envisioned my future to be before then. I'm not sure if I'll ever follow through with my own suicide to be honest, I'm not sure whether HRT and FFS will be enough, or if I'll find an alternative reason to carry on.

I have to ask, don you think there's not anything else in your life that would be worth living for? I'm a normie who doesn't get that dysphoria is the worst fucking feeling, but other anons have managed to find reasons to continue on living as their assigned sex.

How are you planning to kill yourself anyway?

>>8120844
>don you think there's not anything else in your life that would be worth living for?
Nah, there really isn't.
>How are you planning to kill yourself anyway?
Gunshot through the back of the mouth, angled slightly upward.

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>expect op to be one of few to finally realize it's entirely possible to lead a fulfilling life without fully passing
>lol nope suicide

So you didn't accept anything, then, fucking idiot.

>>8120606
Surgery is the last option desu. If that fails then seppuku might be a viable one

>>8121127
>it's entirely possible to lead a fulfilling life without fully passing

No it's not. Even passing isn't enough if you don't look AFAB.

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>tfw cis man with a manly face
Feelsgood
Why weren't you just born normal op?

>>8121216
>implying everyone isn't born normal
>implying we don't go trans because of our childhoods

>>8121224
What happens that turns people trans?

>>8121239
Chemical accident, same reason dare devil and jessica jones got their powers

>>8121127
/tttt/ wants to pass to feel safe and like they aren't contributing to radical left-wing identity politics by being trans
You've just got to remember that this board is just one side of the larger community and that all this passing-policing and self-loathing is rooted in insecurity, and fear of the very real problems that trans people are vulnerable to

>>8121239
personally? overbearing parent and emotionally distant parent.

>>8121279
w...which one corresponds to which gender

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>>8121239
>>8121279

in utero brain development is altered by disruptions in hormone levels of the mother, usually due to stress or endocrine disruptors in food/water.

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>>8121393
>mom fell out of the bathtub and landed on her belly late in pregnancy
>luckily no harm noticed on the baby, at the time
Was this what made me trans?

>>8121460
No, transness happens early in puberty, during brain sexual differentiation.

>>8121317
well between them i ended up mtf

>>8121127
>>expect op to be one of few to finally realize it's entirely possible to lead a fulfilling life without fully passing
Only if you don't have dysphoria.

>>8121584
No, that's just insecurity. If you live life as your desired gender, doing all the treatments, you should feel good by just being. Not fully passing will be unfortunate, but not life ending.
Not everyone is a catatonic unsatisfied mess.

>>8121636
Dysphoria manifests as the specific desire to see yourself as a female and be seen by others as a female

Living a 'female life' is meaningless

>>8121471
>mfw I hit puberty at 6...?

>>8120606
i'd consider finding someone to be with, a friend, lover maybe?

>>8121636
> If you live life as your desired gender, doing all the treatments, you should feel good by just being
You won't live as your desired gender when everybody sees you as a perverted man in dress.

>>8121643
Fucking this

I'm so glad someone else has thought this.

People keep trying to attribute dysphoria to wanting to wear girls clothes and stuff,which isn't true. Acting like a girl is just a means of helping you see yourself as female!!!!

Not OP but I plan to an hero as well, will be jumping since I don't have access to firearms

>>8123453
>acting like a girl, being a girl
and what happens if after you do this, life still sucks?

>>8126162
You don't transition to be happy, you transition to remove or lessen dysphoria

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>As a perma boymode hon, I've finally accepted that some people just won't make it. And you know what? That's OK

>In reality, for some people, it's simply die.
Why think in absolutes? You can stay a man but keep taking estrogen, that's what I am doing and I am happier than when I was a man who wasn't on estrogen. Sure I'll never pass but objectively I would say I am generally happier than before. Maybe you should give it a try before pointlessly choosing the eternal void?

t. permaboymode twinkhon

>>8126234
Already doing this.

>>8126190
Not really. I'm not telling myself passing would've been sour or anything, just that I've accepted that it's unreachable (something that the fox doesn't accept).

>tfw not cruising around shooting people in the face
feels bad man

>>8126190

How is that sour grapes? Sour grapes is more like, "Forget transition, living as a woman isn't worth it anyway. I can spend all that money for surgery on a down payment for a house or invest it in anything else instead. Good luck to the rest of you, you're all going to set yourselves back financially and delay retirement while I'll be starting my own business and have big bucks when I'm old."

>>8120606
You can still be attractively androgynous. There is a real market for that. Coming to terms with death isn't a bad thing, either. It can help you reframe your life. Reassess your goals. Many cis people don't exactly like their bodies and aren't really comfortable in their skin, but they do what they can to find happiness and comfort (or they don't and they suffer with drug abuse/depression/anxiety). Hell, I take androgenic drugs as a woman, not because I'm ftm, but because I really enjoy the mindset they give me and the extra musculature that fills out my fairly masculine frame. I'll never be the tall amazon that I want to be, but I feel better this way.

I'm worried. My girlfriend seems to be in your mindset, op. Maybe it's time to make an extensive list of all the good things you have done with your life or have happened to you or what you wish to work towards obtaining. Relationships with friends and family, employment, education, physical goods, mental gains, physical health, anything you could count as yours. The trials and tribulations you've lived through. Try looking at them with an objective mind and don't compare yourself to others.

It might surprise you and help you choose a direction to take yourself in.

>>8126600
This tbqh famicon

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>>8126600
what if you're not *attractively* androgynous though
what if rather than looking like neither sex you just have gendered traits of both mish-mashed together in ways that don't cancel each other out and aren't pleasant to look at, let alone feel?

>>8127238
I don't see that in your picture you posted. Symmetrical face, healthy skin and hair, no exaggerated features. There are people who would find the person in your picture attractive. You can count me as one of them.

There's an obsession or fixation with neonatal features in the /mtf/ threads and on 4chan in general when it comes to mtfs. Maybe it has to do with manga, since the characters in manga tend to be drawn in ways that make them look very young. Adults, especially non-Asian adults, do not look like this. Maybe look into why you feel like you don't fit in with the image of a woman that you have in your head. What does your image of yourself as a woman look like? Why does it look that way? What has influenced that image? How realistic is it? Questioning these things might help you come to some helpful conclusions.

I'm a woman who is attracted to women, androgynous women more than ultra fem, so I am obviously biased, but I consider the person in your image good looking, but very tired.

>>8127238
Why are you so stoned anon? Go to bed

>>8121636
Hsts scum please go

>>8127479
I look like Ewan McGregor crossed with Kryten wearing a wig

>>8130650
You're not going to get any progress if you are so set on insulting yourself. At least attempt to think about all the more helpful things I posted.

Think about it, is there anything, literally anything to be gained by insulting yourself?

>>8131398
I don't expect to look like an anime girl, I just want to be passable
I'm still gendered male, multiple times, every time I leave the house- bus drivers, cashiers, waiters etc.
I have not been gendered female once in the 18 months since I started HRT
since 9 months HRT I've worn exclusively female casualwear when I leave the house, with makeup and everything
I still don't pass, that's not warped expectations, it's called being unpassing
I even live in a trans-friendly city but I don't even get clocked as trans, I'm treated as a cis male
I don't really have an image of an ideal woman because there's lots of different types of women, but I have my dad's bone structure and keep getting told by relatives I could be his twin, which isn't a good sign

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>>8127479
oh btw I do have exaggerated features, practically all of my features are exaggerated apart from my nose which is pretty normal and my tiny cockerel eyes

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>>8121268
So it is then confimed that trans people are fictional characters?

>>8131587
You've really changed in apprence a lot since you started hrt. You look like you should be in some old painting of a Greek women pouring water into a basin wearing a robe. Pretty

>>8131587
I think you have a very refined look. I understand that being reminded of how you aren't seen as who you are by other people on a daily basis can wear you down, but the fact that you're still working on yourself despite adversity shows your strength. That's what I mean by reframing. You're not letting that stop you from transitioning. 18 months isn't a very large percentage of your lifespan. You still have a lot of time to develop yourself.

Your nose and chin are fine. Maybe your brow is what bothers you? I'm not normally an advocate for surgery, but if it would help you feel better about yourself then that's always something to look into.

The trip is right, your nose and chin remind me of Greek marble.

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>>8120606
>Some people weren't meant to make it
Nah, kid, that's just fear talking. Take heart transbros and transladies: no matter our goal, no matter who we are - we're all gonna make it.

Don't you ever forget that.

t. /fit/

>>8131708
based

>>8131692
I need brow and jaw surgery to have even a chance at passing, but the NHS doesn't cover FFS and I'm disabled so I don't have the income to ~save up~

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>>8131708

>>8120606
Dude, that's total bullshit. Like, yeah, hormones are fucking slow as shit sometimes, but "passing" is a state of mind where you're confident about your own looks. People in general don't have that shit, so why do you think you'd SOMEHOW be able to fit some bullshit Maxim cover expectation of how you should look. Most people don't.

If Sarah Jessica Parker can live a healthy, fulfilling life, then so can you.

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>>8131981
>passing is a state of mind
W E W

>>8132053
I mean, if the picture is meant as an example, I gotta tell ya, she ain't half bad, but there are ugly women too is all I'm saying.

"Passing" is what? Not having a flat chest? Flat chested women are a thing. Not being hairy? I'm sure you've heard of Italy. Bone structure? Grace Jones made a goddamn career of it. Like, you're transitioning to be yourself, not Angelina Homie or something. Sometimes it just turns out that yourself isn't that great, don't mean you're not whatever the fuck you are.

>>8132094
Also, my phone autocorrected Jolie into Homie, but that is her official name now.

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>>8132094
the pic is me
I've got a jaw like a fucking snowplough and am constantly gendered male and never ever female even in full female casualwear and makeup, passing is not a state of mind when you have a gorilla skeleton

>>8132094
Are you kidding? I'm not who you replied to, but I have a feeling you're not trans. If you're 6'3"+, with 20 inch shoulders, 40" ribcage, nonexistent hips, size 14w feet, 10 inch hands, a caveman brow, chad jaw, prominent adam's apple, and baritone voice, nothing is going to make you pass. Nothing, not even ffs.

It's an extreme example, but the point is that while cis women might have one or two masc features, trans women have many such features. What's small on its own stacks up with the others. That's how you clock someone. That's why people like Robin are never gendered female despite what you tell them.

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>>8132121
Tbh, I honestly don't see how. Even there you look fairly pretty. Maybe you're just too good at selfies.

>>8132131
Look dude, I'm not saying there ain't gonna be extremely shit situations, I'm also not saying there ain't always gonna be a bunch of douches who'll misgender you. Fuck, how many pages are there claiming Michelle Obama was a guy? I'm saying it's bullshit to expect you're gonna look like some sort of "perfect girl" monolith. No matter what, you're not always gonna be attractive to everyone. No matter what, some people are gonna find you attractive. No matter what, some people are gonna give you shit for being you, no matter what category you fall under. It's more about not giving a shit and trying to live life based on what makes you happy and not what should make others happy. Otherwise, you're just gonna get fucked every time.

I'm also not saying it's easy, it's ridiculously hard at, but you gotta try.

>>8132210
just be yourself hon :^)

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>>8132210
you know, for an obnoxious namefag, you seem all right, geeseanon

>>8132374
Oh that. I like to hold myself accountable is all.
At the end of the day, my shitty opinion is my shitty opinion. I don't want to feel like it's a whole group of idiots attacking them if I'm discussing something.

>>8132121
look, your chin/jaw is pretty bad but i think you are going full kayla with this attitude

you no longer look like the gross manmonster rapist you looked like before tbqh pham

>>8132210
yeah but the thing is it's not about how others see us is it
it's about how we see ourselves, that's gender dysphoria
I have friends, I go out, I have a pretty active sex life, there are people who care about me and people who gender me female to be nice but it doesn't change the fact I have a masculine bone structure from head to toe and the psychological distress that causes me makes me want to kill myself
no amount of "living for yourself, not for others" makes that go away

>>8132883
Nah, I get it, but that's what I mean. You look fine, hell, I'd wager pretty if I didn't think that'd summon a bunch of autists spouting about their personal preferences.

I know me saying that isn't magically gonna resolve your insecurities, but that's exactly what it is. Insecurities. It's your mind feeding you bullshit based on decades of media telling you what this or that should look like. Which sounds like some sjw trash, I know, but it's a fact.

It's not unique to trans, either. There's so many people that suffer from body issues out there because of this "They Live" bullshit we swallow. You just gotta recognize that that's all it is. Which, I know, "just", like it's something you can just drop, and not something you're gonna be struggling with all your life, but it's not impossible to live a somewhat happy life if you can train yourself to call out your brain's bullshit.

>>8132883
How can I have an active sex life too? Teach me senpai

>>8121654
Anon meant to say gestation presumably.

a friend helped me film this to show my physio

https://vid.me/RqMZ

is it okay to kill myself yet?