Giving up

>>8034393
I'm 7 years in and still not happy, probably never will be, will probably be alone forever too because nobody wants to be with a tranny. I pass but what does that matter, it's still not good enough for me. At this point I'm desperate to try anything to change, change my body, change my life, anything.

>>8034426
>>8034427
What're your stories, anons?

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>>8034436
Started hormones at 15, so I thought I'd end up looking female. Back then, I only wanted to transition if I ended up looking completely female, otherwise I promised my 13-year-old self that I would immediately commit suicide as soon as it became apparent that I had failed, since I hated how trannies looked (and still do). But it turns out, you should never base your decision to transition early on your hatred of trannies, because it gives you unrealistic expectations and standards for yourself. I should have been fostering "trans pride" back then, but I never did. Now I don't even care that I pass to cis people and basically have a "female experience", because I don't look 100% female like I thought I would. I was deceived by timelines, or maybe I just didn't know how to clock trannies back then. I'll regret those two or three years of not getting on hormones for the rest of my life.

I've also had too many failures since then. Failures in relationships, failures online, getting banned and blocked from a bunch of places and by a bunch of different people, too many people have said too many negative things about me for me to feel good about myself ever again. All I do is stay at home and think about the past, my embarrassing attempts at modeling and acting last year, that went nowhere because I'm an ugly tranny. My attempts at activism that went nowhere. My life that's going nowhere. It's basically over for me, but I promised a bunch of people that I wouldn't try to kill myself anymore. It sucks.

>>8034502
>I only wanted to transition if I ended up looking completely female, otherwise I promised my 13-year-old self that I would immediately commit suicide
How were you even thinking about this at 13? I barely knew what trans was. Was it because I only got a computer and the internet in my late teens?

>>8034580
Not her but I learned what trans was at around age 12 (albeit a very basic concept of it, I thought it was just men who decided to be girls rather than men who were depressed because of their masculinity) but I ruled it out as applying to myself. A couple years later (14) I decided that I probably was trans, but I should wait until after puberty so that I wouldn't risk making a mistake. Stupidest decision of my life.

I started at 18 and I pass pretty well at 9 months, but I still regret not doing things earlier. I have supportive and affluent parents but I also live in a very convervative state so I don't know if I even would've been able to.

>>8034615
>I thought it was just men who decided to be girls rather than men who were depressed because of their masculinity) but I ruled it out as applying to myself.
Why did you rule yourself out?

Why were you worried about making a mistake? You could have come out and started dressing as a girl, taking a girl name, etc without physically transitioning.

>>8034502
thats very sad anon.

>>8034502
Oh, are you the commie girl? I wouldn't say you're ugly, at least not from the pic. Just because you're clockable by other trans people doesn't mean you can't be happy.

>>8034393
This picture triggers me. She's just going to shoot the fucking front of her face off and if she's lucky she'll bleed to death.

>>8034683
>girls
>actually committing suicide

>>8034643
>Why did you rule yourself out?
I was 12 and stupid. Thought that my issues couldn't have been genuine dysphoria for whatever reason. It's kind of like when you'd get a cough or sniffles as a kid but wouldn't want to admit you're sick because you'd have to see a doctor. That was basically how I felt, I didn't want to admit I had a problem because I didn't want to deal with treatment.

>Why were you worried about making a mistake?
I was a mixture of too dumb and too smart I guess. Too smart knowing that puberty can change people's emotions and the like. I'd heard a lot about how puberty can make people depressed or anxiety ridden and I thought that might be all it is. Too dumb to realize just how different what I was feeling really was.

>You could have come out and started dressing as a girl, taking a girl name, etc without physically transitioning.
I considered it a lot, but I was worried about being seen as some sort of freak or snowflake. My parents are supportive but I think even they'd have a limit.

Also I've just always been an introvert who tries to keep out of peoples way. Back then I'd rather suffer through dysphoria alone than come out and make it a problem for other people too. Being a very closeted and shy introvert also made me a lot less aware of how others were in relation to me and just how unusual my feelings really were compared to normal depression or anxiety. The only reason things changed a bit as I got older is because the dysphoria just kept getting worse and worse. It got so bad I pretty much skipped half of my final year of high school because of my depression and anxiety. I went through two entire months of constant extreme depression, apathy, anxiety etc last year before I finally deciding I had to do something.

>>8034502
iktf
>tfw you will never, ever pass for cis

>>8034393

Tranny here.
I was going to kill myself last week.

Bought everything I need and was ready.

Posted on /b just because

I got convinced that I should live life how I want and do exactly what I feel.

What's the worst that's going to happen. I die or end up back here wanting to suicide.
Who gives a shit?

>>8034870
>Posted on /b just because
>I got convinced that I should live life how I want and do exactly what I feel.
How did they convince you?

>>8034695
I think the anon you replied to was criticizing the artist. you DO know what art is and entails right?

>>8034878

Because I was actually about to kill myself and was pretty fucking numb.

Asked me to post a pic.
Didn't give a fuck. Posted

Positive response I guess. Convinced me that if I didn't give a shit and was at my end, why does it have to be my call to die.

Give my stuff away, do shit that you wanted to do before you go. That kind of a thing.

I don't want to kill myself right now because I stopped caring and I just do what I want. I'll deal with it later if it comes back.

I gave up after 4 years
Just trying to detransition and medicate/exercise my way to happiness for a while

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>>8034910
what made you decide?

I transitioned at 31. Worked my ass off. Pass.

I know not everyone can, but 4 years of trying should yield something.

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>>8034933
>Pass

>>8034940
Yes echo, pass.

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>>8034925
I was too sad and lazy to do anything at all so I stopped HRT and decided to just live as a mentally ill depressed guy who would at least be healthy and leave the house.

I'm not do anything. Because transition don't give me happiness

>>8034393
everyone's been waiting on you to do it for over a year, please just do it already.

>>8035081
What? Who's the OP?

hrt wont make you happy. being a woman won;t make you happy. it might ease your suffering but you still have to deal with all the damage you've already accrued. even if you spend 10 years on hormones and can pass 24/7 you still won't be happy if you are still nitpicking, still feeding your depression and loneliness, your low self esteem. you have to put a lot of real work and effort into fixing your thought processes and habits and it can be incredibly hard. but it's not as if you wouldn't have these problems otherwise. the only thing that quitting does is make it harder to try again in the future

>>8034393
I'm 24 been on HRT for 8 months I was actually going to kill myself at 23. I repressed so hard I knew I would lose my family and friends and basically everything so I tried to be normal and it didn't work. I decided fuck it might as well try HRT for awhile and if it works it works if it doesn't I kill myself. I don't know how long I will wait for results but I'm sure if something like 5 years or maybe less pass and I still look like shit and feel like shit I will kill myself.

>>8036577
> if something like 5 years or maybe less pass and I still look like shit and feel like shit I will kill myself
This is my plan as well, but 3 years. 5 years sounds like an unnecessarily long time to suffer when no more changes are going to happen by the 3rd.

>>8035400
Not op but thats true. All the surgeries in the world won't erase the fact i was born a girl and never had a boyhood. A large hunk of being trans is learning to deal with that (vs. offing yourself or repressing).

I gave up before even starting
>6'3
> 240 lbs
>46" chest, I've gained a beer belly in the last year or so, but when i was skinny even men's clothing hung awkwardly on me because my chest and shoulders are so much bigger than my waste and hips.
> caveman brow ridge with unibrow
> hair on my knuckles, toes, in my nose
> flat man ass

I was never meant to make it.

>>8034664
Well, thank you. I think I might still make it, if I maybe get the money to afford surgeries that I need, but it's hard enough to afford SRS let alone FFS. I guess I'm just the one early transitioner with poor parents or something.

>>8036896
How did you manage to get on HRT so early if you've got poor parents?

>>8036915
HRT is a lot cheaper than surgeries, though. Just a few hundred per year at most.

>>8036915
I worked for my dad and convinced him to give me a credit card, hormones don't cost very much compared to surgeries, maybe over time it racks up but I don't think I paid even a thousand dollars over the course of a year.

>>8034393
Ur gonna increase the 40% suicide attempt lol

>>8036929
Why did you need him to get you a credit card?

1) Accept the cards you are dealt. Like others I'd never be passable so my dream of perfection would be unobtainable.
2) Once you have accepted that your dreams are impossible things get easier. After a few years of accepting and giving up my goals changed, becoming more manageable.
Now I'm an androgynous guy who wears short shorts, fishnets and nail varnish. Am I as happy as the perfect dream me, no. But accepting who I am and living with my start has brought me happiness.

Think of it like traveling. If where you want to go is to far away, go somewhere else. Sure it's not as good as where you wanted but it's still good and it's better than giving up.

>>8036958
So I could buy the hormones online?

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>>8034427
>>8034502
I'm in a similar situation but way worst off. Already been on hormones for >10 years, spent lots of money on srs and ffs and yet I still look hideous, I'm constantly crushed by how I look everyday to the point where I can barely function due to anxiety and depression. My parents never fail to remind me of how ugly I look. Don't even know why I'm still alive, likely due to my fear of pain and also I have some scientific pursuits that interest me but even those are waning. Honestly, I just need a gentle push and I am off the ledge. Hardly care about anything anymore.

>>8039275
You look like you pass, but you're just so skinny that your face looks weird.

>>8039275
You honestly look like you pass

I have pretty much given up after puberty, no one will believe me Im trans since Im schizo, I dont even believe it myself, no transition for me.

>>8039340
>>8039375
Its not enough for guys to accept, I don't want to be a khv

>>8039275
You look like an ayy lmao

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>>8034393
>>8034427
>>8034502

Y'all people need to turn away from this obsession with your body and try to find happiness through some external means.

Sorry if I'm just annoying you with standard wise-ass words but maybe think about it more seriously.

I'm saddened by your sadness even though I feel pretty disdainfully toward the trans community because of their raging misogyny. You people just aren't healthy, overall, and need to stop blaming it on "being trans". You did this to your real body because you couldn't get over your discomfort with it, so now you're left in this kinda mutilated state. Own it, get over it, pick up the pieces and move on.

>>8034580
i didn't get a computer until my teens but I knew I was trans way earlier than that. passed in high school before hrt so it was an easy transition after that

>>8040422
How did you know about trans without the internet?

>>8039275
try putting more effort into your look. why would you spend so much but not use makeup

>>8040441
I didn't know about trans persay but I saw myself as a girl as long as I could remember. in grade school girls used to try to attack my lack of masculinity but it was a compliment to me

>>8040462
How did you reconcile seeing yourself as a girl with knowing others saw you as a boy?

>in grade school girls used to try to attack my lack of masculinity
Bit hypocritical thing for girls to say!

>>8034393
>At what point (years of HRT, etc.) should one start to lose hope?

What hope are you talking about? You transition to get rid of dysphoria. Have you transitioned and still feel messed up? The whole point of transitioning is so you don't feel that.

>>8039275
How old are you? You still look so young.

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>>8040462
>persay

>>8040544
Hope of passing and being treated like a girl is my guess.

>>8040551
>30 yo

>>8040397
> even though I feel pretty disdainfully toward the trans community because of their raging misogyny

???

Commie girl here, the one who posted the Perfect Blue pic, I haven't really noticed much misogyny in the trans community outside this site. Unless you mean trans men. Or maybe I just hang around feminists because I'm commie scum.

Also I don't feel mutilated by the hormones, I feel mutilated by the few years of testosterone I couldn't stop.

>>8040531
I was very introverted and mostly kept to myself and a close group of friends. I didn't care how people saw me because I figured when I grew up I could do whatever I want and transition somehow

>>8041174
I meant, you saw yourself as a girl

How did you figure you'd find a way to transition before you knew about trans people?

>>8041437
I guess I saw drag queens on tv and they turned me off the idea of transition a little but I figured I could look feminine enough without being a parody of gender. I had internet access by middle school and discovered trans people and hormones but I didn't actually transition until after high school.

>>8041437
I grew my hair out from middle school though and since I had a feminine body I passed before hrt. People called me a tranny or gay then too. I guess that's closer to what you were asking.

>>8041538
>>8041564
I see. Did you go girlmode before hrt or just look like a girl dressed as a boy?

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>age 0 - 13: knew something was wrong, but had no idea what. trans education nonexistent, trannies dismissed as subhuman drag queens. moved around almost every year, more concerned with basic survival than identity issues

>age 13 - 21: physical and mental abuse, kicked out constantly for minor infractions. still knew i was wrong, but still didn't know why. still more concerned about basic needs over and above my burgeoning identity crisis.

>age 21 - 25: hypermasc post-divorce military service phase. full on crisis mode. married and divorced; more obsessed with making wife happy than myself. trans people not allowed in the military at the time anyway, so whatever

>now: five months HRT, now that it's far too late for me to have any hope. zero chance of passing without FFS. haha bad luck, hun, try again next time : ^)

i might take a bath with the toaster tonight

>>8041653
I didn't go out of my way to change my appearance because of how homophobic the area was already. I have naturally thick eyelashes so girls would ask if I was wearing eyeliner when I wasn't. After that makeup helped me pass consistently until I could always pass without it after a year on hrt. I still wear it so I look better and get treated better though

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>>8041766
you know that everyone knows you're lying when you say that you "didn't know what was wrong", right?

>>8041766
I'm sorry, but if you still didn't know you were a girl even at 21, then you can't call yourself a girl now.

>>8041864

because lying to a bunch of anonymous strangers on the internet is at the forefront of my mind. sure.

>>8041870

hm maybe you're right. do you want me to stream my death or?

>>8041872
not lying, just misinformed, stupid and creepy.

>>8041864
What do you mean? What is she lying about?

>>8041864
Why would she have known?

>>8042008
hint: i'm not talking about literally knowing that transition is possible.

>>8042147

you don't even know what you're talking about, do you

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>>8042164
and why do you say that, idiot?

>>8042147
So what the fuck are you talking about? That she lied about feeling something was wrong?

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>>8042304
because you know exactly what's wrong.

>>8042383
You're saying she knew she identified as a girl from that early, even though she said she didn't?

How do you know?

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>>8042437
>You're saying she knew she identified as a girl from that early
I was actually saying the opposite, that they didn't recognize their identity, and that that was the issue. That above he was lying and saying that he "didn't feeeel good", whatever that retarded statement was supposed to denote.

>>8042461
But if she didn't know trans was a thing why would she know what her dysphoria meant?

>they
>he
For what purpose?

>>8042461
Why is she lying? And why are you projecting so hard?

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>>8042641
How is being able to recognize his illegitimacy due to being legitimate yourself "projecting" ?

>>8042666
>>8042497

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why is this still going, like why are you still talking about me like you know me, and why are you still feeding an obvious le trole master? move the fuck on

>>8034393
when are you going to do it?

>>8041104
Wait seriously? You look early 20s at most.

I will never be able to be a cis lesbian. Why live?

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>>8043482
we know who and what you are and it disgusts us, you're the one who's an outsider.

>>8047816
>we know who and what you are
???

>>8047763
Ya rly but thanks, I'll take that as a compliment although I feel that age is catching up to me fast

>>8034502
>Started hormones at 15,
You're straight then?

>>8048087
No, I know who that is and they're a transbian.

>>8048109
How can a transbian start that early?

>>8048210
Wow I could hear your worldview shattering from here.

>>8048210
they're "queer" and 15 isn't early transitioning if that was your issue.

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>>8048239
>15 isn't early transitioning

Oh.... OKay.....

>>8048239
>they're "queer"
What does that have to do with it?

>and 15 isn't early transitioning if that was your issue.
It's early for an AGP.

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Yet another thread ruined by le creepy mustachio man.

>>8034502
>t. Cancerposter pretending to be Nicole Maines (as usual)
Someone should send this post to the dean that our creepo is breaking his restraining order again.

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>>8048280
pretty sure that that's the commie jacket person
>>8041132
>>8034664

>>8048287
Oh, wasn't she stalked by him as well? I remember him spamming her pictures pretty often.

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>>8034393
Im at two years, had an orchi and lots of electrolysis but I want ffs and srs so fucking badly but can't afford it. At year 2 and 2 months of hrt but if I can't get even the rest of my electrolysis done soon I want to kill myself.

>>8048280
Stop mistaking me for Cara, Cara's not even on HRT, and I'm not sure how my story could be mistaken for Nicole's either. Stay away from my food and my suffering, you don't know my life!

>>8048298
Cara doesn't stalk me, she just talks to me on Discord. I think she considers me a failure, I'm not up to her stalking standards.

>>8048312
>I think she considers me a failure,
Because you aren't HSTS?

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>>8048328
I.... I made out with a guy just htis past Saturday, I swear... I'm not AGP.....

>>8048346
why do you think it took you so long to transition if not for agp?

>>8048346
Nice try but I know about meta-attraction.

>>8034502
How do you fail at activism?? Letter righting, workplace organizing/occupying, and phone banking can't be that hard...
Just hit up your local IWW, or black cross chapter.

>>8048302
Too cute to an hero

>>8048410
LOL

le pseudo bisexual meme strikes again!

*cries softly*

>t. bi mtf

>>8048530
>she doesn't know pseudobi is the purest form of love

>>8034683
What bugs me is that I don't think a shot to the head would kill her because her soul is actually within that gem on her hand.

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>>8048553
B-but I was bisexual before I transitioned, I swear! Quit invalidating my love for men!

>>8039275
fuck off desu

>>8048778
ew, hsts

>>8048302
I don't get why you insist posting that extremely flattering pic on all your posts like this. That pic doesn't convince me you're a hon.

>>8048302
Wait you're only 2 years in? I actually thought you started earlier than that.

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>can't be in a real relationship without being more comfortable/happy with myself first
>can't be comfortable/happy with myself as a man
>know that my paranoia would just get worse if I transitioned socially
>the only thing I wanted in life was to fall in love
>can't really do that as a guy
>can't be a girl though
Looking forward to killing myself.

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im just here cuz i like banging trannies

it seems to be a common mantra amongst u guys that if u transistion all your problems will go away lol

no

>>8054587
chasers get out.

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>>8054607
my opinion is the most objective and u need to respect it little girl

>>8034502
>immediately commit suicide as soon as it became apparent that I had failed
But you haven't failed, you're really close to getting exactly what you want and a little surgery could get you to your perfect standards.

If BDD is too painful couldn't you just temporarily pull back to hrt femboy mode, get the money for your surgeries and then go girl mode when you're at your goals? You're close to what you want so why die?

>Just tried to kill myself now my heart is fucked and I'm shaking all the time.
NEVER LUCKY

>>8054764
are you op?

>>8054773
Nah was in the hospital unconscious for like 20 hours and I have bruises everywhere

>>8054773
Nah, they're not me. I only made the thread to ask when one should give up hope on passing as far as HRT duration goes, not necessarily an heroing. Although I can't say I've never considered it, of course (>tfw 1 year and still no boy mode fails despite long hair)

>>8054788
why'd you try to kill yourself?

>>8054764
learn something from it, retard

>>8054815
Life sux
>>8054821
You need more than 25mg of xanax mixed with alcohol to die

>>8054764
>>8054788
How badly fucked is your heart? Any other harm?

How did they look after you while you were in their care?

>>8054880
Dunno it just hurts and it doesn't go very fast. I believe they fractured my ribcage as well.
Just hooked me up to IV machines and cleared me out while I was unconscious

>>8054891
Is the pain going to be permanent?

What did they tell you when you woke up? Did they just let you walk out without any help to keep you from wanting to do it again?

>>8054587
>it seems to be a common mantra amongst u guys that if u transistion all your problems will go away
I just hope enough of my problems go away that I don't end up killing myself.

>>8054835
You need more than 25mg of xanax mixed with alcohol to die
I was always afraid of that combo killing me. Well not really afraid just aware that it could kill me. Most I did was like 8mg and a pint of whiskey to be fair no clue if those are the actual amounts I blacked out.

>>8054980
Yeah they let me walk, second time I've been hospitalised this month from suicide as well.
>>8055033
I was blacked out for almost an entire day I'd probably die without the shit tonnes of IV drips

>>8055042
Oh maybe I used to do a bunch of dumb shit with xanax. Never actually trying to kill myself but not really caring if I died if you know what I mean. I don't know how much it would take to kill yourself mixing shit. I've taken shit like a few xanax ambien gabpentin fentanyl and whatever else together and I never end up dying.

>>8055069
25mg in powder is equivalent to 100 of those blue pills fentanyl is stupidly potent probably a good shot for my next attempt

>>8055111
I actually took all 4 I mentioned together and woke up the next day. I know I took very decent amount of fentanyl too. I don't know if they lie about the amount of drugs it takes to kill you or if I'm just really lucky.

>>8055069
yup

I used to take xanax & drink to deal with anxieties, one day drank too much, blacked out for 24 hours, woke up in a psych ward because apparently I called a suicide hotline for somebody to talk to and told the operator I'd kill myself unless she stopped being such a bitch. Confined for a week & missed my final exams.

On the plus side I turned my life around a lot after that. Rock bottom, nowhere to go but up.

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i want to die so bad

>>8055174
My house used to look like that minus the nazi shit and I used to look like a mix of the 2 people on the right.

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>>8054797
>tfw 1 year and still no boy mode fails despite long hair
Same duration and same feel.

>>8054701
I guess you're right. I think I really just need a partner or something to tide me over these next few years. I don't think I can "pull back to femboy mode" because of my voice.

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>>8034393
How many of you actually have lives?(friends,relationships, acquaintances at school, you go out and have fun) just wondering

Cause it seems like there's a lot of non passing ugly trannies, but they never kill themselves because they surround themselves with other snowflake hons and have a strong support group of friends that love them.

maybe i should just go off the deep and and make a tumblr and join the gsa at college

>>8055147
Really I thought it would be a lot more successful
>>8055201
I'm 4 fucking years and started at 16 my life has been over from the very beginning
>>8055282
It doesn't last if you do that it isn't truly fulfilling activity and once that sets in you just get despair

>>8055282
Yeah I actually don't have any friends or relationships really. I really don't want the kind of friends you described though. Maybe it would be better than nothing though I don't know.

>>8055282
>friends
Almost none
>relationships
Have a bf. Only thing keeping me alive
>acquaintances
Literally nobody knows me at school
>go out
I get panic attacks whenever I go out
>support group of friends
Hugboxing won't make me feel better when I look in the mirror or remember that I'll never be a girl, or even an approximation of one

>>8055293
Do you pass, at least? I'm sure you'll find a reason to live. It's hard of course, and I struggle to keep going myself, but there's a bit of hope still left in me. Good luck, friend.

>>8055282
Once you accept your inner hon you have no one to become like but your hon friends. Choose your friends wisely and be a person worth befriending

>>8055308
I've never once been gendered female even while presenting I'm that shitty of a transperson

>>8055323
Not even a single time? I don't mean to be rude or pry, but what do you look like? What are your height and measurements? It's hard to imagine everyone treating you as nothing but male if you're at least making the effort.

>>8055339
I'm 6'6''

>>8034393
I love trans people
>Waste expensive medical procedures and take up time from surgeons and doctors
>take hormones that other people could use
>shove your identity down other people's throats
>then kill yourself out of depression
You're like expensive fireworks given human form

>>8055498
>6'6"
And I thought I was unlucky at 5'8". I'm sorry, that's a horrible height. Yeah, I honestly can't blame people for gendering you male then. Bad luck, I guess. :/

>>8055503
I love cis people always judging always calling me a freak always calling me mentally ill always telling me to kill myself then they're mad if you actually do kill yourself

>>8055503
>>Waste expensive medical procedures and take up time from surgeons and doctors

But the doctors are the ones making money.

>>take hormones that other people could use

But it's not like there's a finite amount of hormones in the world, like we're using up limited resources from the hormone reservoir and now menopausal women can't their hands on any.

>>shove your identity down other people's throats

But if we pass, it just comes naturally to them.

>>You're like expensive fireworks given human form

But everyone loves fireworks!

>>8055503
Tfw never had surgery
Tfw never forced pronouns
Tfw never wanted to be recussitated

>>8055512
If you can't handle the bantz keep what you have in your pants

>>8055527
All life is sacred

>>8055527
>never had surgery
well, you could try that before giving up.

>>8055531
I'm still 6'6'' and can't pass from behind there is too much wrong and no value in my life

>>8055548
I feel really really bad reading that. I wish I could make things better for you.

>>8055548
Fuck, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine the pain. How did you get so tall so young?

File: IMG_0040.jpg (162KB, 1080x780px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 1080x780px

>>8034393
I recently given up, this life isn't worth living for me. I never wanted to be a guy so I can't live as just a fem boy not that's there's anything wrong with it it's just not me. I actually have very supportive friends and family but I know what I am an ugly tranny that will eventually die alone. So I'm going to skip all that life and cut right to it. It's shit you try just to end up with nothing

>>8055712
Method?

>>8055716
Pic related hanging I was gonna get a gun but I need the money and I don't want to wait I want out faster.

>>8055727
Why do you need money where you are going?

>>8055712
I hope you don't kill yourself.

>>8055740
I need money for the gun I want to buy something that's effectively gonna kill me you know???

>>8055744
I hope so too I'm waiting until next week because family things and I don't want people to be reminded of that event and my suicide, but honestly what left is there for me I get treated like an oddity and freak. The loneliness I feel is getting unbearable and if someone ends up getting with me they would have to be extremely desperate I am bottom of the barrel like idk it just seems like the best option

>>8055785
I'm seriously considering suicide too, my method will be jumping.

>>8055503
sociopathy is a mental illness

>>8055827
How old are you anon? Are you transitioning?

>>8048802
>hsts
wtf does hsts mean

>>8055574
I got put on SSRIs again today.
>>8055584
I was born larger than the baby size chart thingie at birth so I was always fucked from the beginning

>>8039275
Hetero male here (first time lurking on lgbt)

I would bang you if your body is on a similar level as your face, no questions asked. Would not want a relationship though, because I want children later on. Maybe you just picked the most flattering picture and are ugly in real, but if you look remotely like that, you have nothing to complain about IMHO.