/Repression Gen/

>>8028789
I hate all of you and everyone

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>>8028796
good. let no one escape your wrath

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>>8028804

Where do I pick up weak people to abuse ladz

>>8028844
Just find the weak. They are everywhere

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so 2 months of poison ends tommorow

i finally reclaim my armour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZORW2EVv4R8

https://youtu.be/ZIXe6NbtVHY

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jOVqNqIWTU&feature=share

>>8028897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uEc8_dcYUc

when the T surge hits

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https://youtu.be/B5UZVtUC3V0

>>8028873
Why did you wait so long?

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>>8028965
my boyfriend left me when i started and i became self destructive and apathatic but then he came back and we both missed each other too much and when i said i wasnt trans anymore he forgave me for being confused

so now im going to make sure i was telling the truth

his own dominant masculinity is a shelter in which protects me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rr_hxY909k

Ill find...my way...find my way home...

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>>8028996
How do you even not know if you're dysphoric so much?

If i didnt look like the hulk nowadays id transition no questios asked.

>>8028996
But if he's come back already why are you only stopping tomorrow?

>>8029015
Some people are dysphoric enough they'd transition despite looking like the hulk.

can't you just, you know, not take exogenous chemicals that fuck up your endocrine system, either way? instead of being a dude with boobs or some roided up douchebag who probably is going to suffer similar long term health issues as the tranny, focus on being healthy, staying active and not reproducing if women aren't interested in you?

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>>8029049
I mean im a repressed tranny and all but my rational stoner side comes in and takes over. My trans golden era is finished and would rather make an old guy happy when he treats me like a girl.

>>8029053
i guess you could. If you wanted to be as fem as possible without taking hormones and being healthy just be a twink i guess.

>>8029053
>implying that's not the plan

>>8029067
>My trans golden era
?

>would rather make an old guy happy when he treats me like a girl.
describe

>>8029083
I look like the hulk. Im hairy muscular and look like a smol bear. Im more fit than 99 percrnt of the world. I still have my babyface but i look older. Fem is something that is better when youre younger. Im mid twenties. Masc is probably my better bet to survive and finding an older gay guy that wants to make me his princess boy is a better option imo.

Id rather be a cute guy than a hon.

>>8029041
kys

>tfw my sham relationship is getting more serious
> might actually end up getting married
Haha end me

>>8028965
tfw waited 4 years

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YanwyGP0Li4

I am no longer Amy, I am No longer Spartan.

My previous personalities desire to be normal was so great with want. It caused severe distress and trauma in my mind.

So much it dissociated to the point of creating a new personality of a cishet male

Last night I underwent major derealisation and depersonalisation and awake a new man literally, no longer dependant on hormones. Missing my morning dose has only energised where it once caused distress

I had a lucid dream where I had a girlfriend, I protected her, I was her boyfriend, I was dominant and secure in my masculinity, I wanted to breed.

Now I am devoid of dysphoria, devoid of homosexuality. And now my brain finally enjoys Testosterone than rejects it.

I am the dream of Spartan. I am everything he wished to be. I am his greatest self image made real.

Now that I have mastered my own mental illness. I am the master of my own mind. A feat that has eluded me for decades.

But finally. In body and soul. I am a man.

>>8033102
Congrats dude

>>8033102
See you in /agpgen/ tomorrow!

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>>8033109
Agp is even less real than standard trannydom

Now if you'll excuse me. I have an old friend made of iron to go visit.

>>8030681
Full story.

>>8033128
>Agp is even less real than standard trannydom
How so?

>>8033159
Just stop mastubating

>>8033102
I do pray that something like this would actually happen to me so I can be normal but I doubt it will. I'm honestly curious how old are you?

>>8033164
>gay isn't real
>just don't fuck guys

>>8033176
22

>>8033186
Well I just broke up with my boyfriend over this new mental state so it feels pretty real to me.

Although to be honest it feels like I'm breaking up on behalf of someone else.

This is pretty sweet though.

How do you know if you're gay?

I mean you can condition yourself to be sexually attracted to anything.

>>8033196
Hadn't you only just taken him back?

How did you say you were breaking up and how did he react?

>>8033222
I said "we're finished, my priorities have changed, this isnt what i want anymore"
he said "this isnt like you whats wrong sweetheart?"

i felt nothing and a little disgusted. i want a gf to care for now. but still. proof enough that my new personality is degeneracy free. finally in tune with natures call to breed.

>>8033211
I said this in high school
Don't worry about this is really "you" if you want to try it.
If you're in a position to experiment safely, give it a shot.
If nothing else, you're moving up from wondering if you're gay to figuring out how best to express your curiosity

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>>8033196
>>8033280
your future

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>>8033280
>2 months on hrt
>day 1 of lifting again
>lifts only down by 10kg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rr_hxY909k


>>8033325
that wont work on me.

I am Beyond either spartan or amy. i am newborn man. born in the heart of a terrified mind, here to repair a broken boy into a man.

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>>8033338
>I am Beyond either spartan or amy. i am newborn man. born in the heart of a terrified mind, here to repair a broken boy into a man.
you said all this before
you are literally pic related

>>8033338
I'm happy for you assuming you aren't just in one of those moods. Being trans sucks.

>>8033350
should the day end and your prophecy rings true.
then maybe i will consider you correct.

but should the abscence of hrt bring me power and energy. then i shall know this is the final apex of my personality switches and i have achieved my goal.

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go flush your hrt
never come back to /mtfg/
I am done trying to help you
you are throwing your chance away so go ahead and do it right and flush your pills

Time to rebuild my squat rack lads

>>8033382
i cannot help the tempest of this mind.

I am a newborn. the actions of the previous you might remember. but for now they are deceased. and i live now. it just the way i am.
maybe they will return to you. maybe not. i am here to resolve that once and for all either way.

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>>8033280
Why on earth would you break up with your boyfriend over a fucking frog dream.

I'm starting to wonder if trip codes cause temporary insanity cause every trip I've talked to is insane.

Why not a) take hormones don't socially transition. b) she a therapist and work through you're issues rather than be a literal failed male stereotype.

Honestly you don't have live as a girl to take hrt I can think of when I went through the same struggle lost my bf cause he didn't want me taking hormones to remain a trappy. Still I'm not mtf but hormones changed my life I no longer drink to excess, work full time will have money for ffs soon and dropped trip. Not everyone needs to socially transition some just need to balance their hormones.

Choose the femboi lyfe before roiding out its much safer.

>>8033280
Just to confirm, did your SO ever actually mean anything to you?

>>8033424
yes. he meant everything to spartan or amy.

but not to me. im a new persona.

>>8033417
>frog dream
it was a hetero dream. and the love i felt for a mere female apparition was more than i felt for him before.

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>>8033434
Either way changing you're life over a dream is fucken stupid. I'd definitely say therapy is the best option at this point. I had a dream that I fucking jumped into a lake swam with alligators. Rode a tsunami and fought ninjas, does that mean I should be a ninja slaying tsunami Surfing, alligator taming bad ass nope it means I probably ate something spicy that night.

Seriously I've tried it manning up working on my fathers fishing boat trying to live u to his insane standards. Tried dating girls every time I was with them I'd picture them as man. Try taking hrt but not transitioning socially cause honestly unless you look 100 percent female social transition is stupid. Stealth until male fail that's my plan.

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>>8033434

>>8033526
why is this young lady wearing her boyfriends t-shirt

>>8033530
FTM

>>8033526
>>8033530
>>8033535
...

I give up

>be 12
>have a close male friend, hang out every day
>we play with legos and watch cartoons together
>ask him what his looks like, if he can show me
>he does, asks me to show mine
>after that, we feel comfortable with eachother
>we start exploring sexual things, touching eachother, using our mouths
>one day we try putting fingers/penors up eachother's butts
>my dad barges in
>sees me laying on my stomach naked, my friend on top of me
>visibly angry and upset
>"what are you two doing"
>"nothing"
>he leaves
>they stop letting us hang out after that
>my mother becomes abusive, starts beating me, so does my dad
>they argue and shout all the time, they usually blame me for everything
>they never mention the friend though
>i develop crippling social anxiety and i become scared of people
>it gets worse and worse through years, parental abuse keeps happening
>scared and ashamed of doing anything sexual

Fuck. I'm 24 now. I've never done anything of even thought about doing anything with another guy after that until very recently.
I've had sex with a girl once. I didn't really like it.
Maybe this is why i have constant anxiety and why i hate society.
Maybe all i have to do is admit that i'm gay.
I'm just so scared to do anything about it.
At least the abuse from my parents has stopped.
I will never forgive them though.

>>8030681

Agreeing with the request in >>8033156.

This thread confirms everything I've suspected about trannies. You're just mentally ill beta males.

Was on inhousepharmacy and almost bought all the pills I'd need. Ended up backing out... too nervous, even if I'd just medically trasition. Besides the fear of being found out and ostrisized, I get nervous about the health risks of hrt. I've read it can increase breast and some other cancers risk by %70!?!

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>>8033938
it's not that simple,
b/c there are masc men who transition too >>8008738

>>8033156
>>8033839
It's a long story, but the gist of it is I'm an afab, probably hsts person, in a relationship with a cis guy. The girl I liked rejected me and I went full repression and started dating this guy and we've been together for over a year now. Recently I decided to sleep with him just to see what it would be like and it wasn't terrible, so that's encouraging. But now he's saying he loves me and all this stuff and I just go along with it. I feel like I need to either commit to repressing 100% or come out and transition, but I don't know which I want to do. I feel bad for my partner because I do care about him a lot and I don't want to hurt him, but I'm not sure I can live a lie forever.

>>8034085
you dont have to be 100% anything
there are grey areas

>>8034068
it makes your breast cancer risk about the same as a cis female or guy with gyno

>>8034068
>the more impossible it's going to be to separate Melee success from your own self-worth
Yeah, like women have. If you're growing breasts you're going to be more likely to get breast cancer. It also reduces your prostate and testicular cancer risk.

>>8033102
This isn't going to work. 22 isn't that old yet. You still have a chance, but it's basically your very last chance now. Any longer and you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

>>8034085
>ftm in repressiongen
Why

>>8034074

Ok, mentally ill beta males AND opportunistic gay men

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I want to be a man so badly. I hate my body and wish I could transition. Why can't I force myself to just stay a girl, I hate myself for being so weak

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>>8034068
beside cancer risks, you'll lose your mind, dick/balls
...but hey, at least you'll grow a pair of uneven cone tits, which will look amazing on a broad male chest

>>8034068
I've actually done this like 5 or 6 times. I fear losing friends family and what not.

>>8028796
fuck you too faggot

>>8034068
>>8034432
>>8034290
>>8034256

The actual data seems to suggest MtF risk of breast cancer does not rise. The increased risk of breast cancer on HRT comes from studies with cis women using synthetic estrogens like ethinylestradiol. As for testicular and prostate cancer, they probably become less likely.

Self-repression, loathing of others as a result of inevitable repression, and a sudden vulnerability to radicalism and ideology are the hallmarks of people who feel their lives are irredeemably spoiled. Being unable to face their selves independent from a whole, they retreat into the faceless mass of a holy cause, an ideology, a mass movement. These people ultimately loathe the world such as it is because they loathe themselves. That is, they feel ultimately like they are the losers. They can see no point in real self-respect, self-worth, self-advancement because the self is the very thing they are attempting to no longer have, replacing it with the notion of a grand and unified cause into which they can pour all their efforts as a surrogate for meaningful self-improvement. No amount of success is ever a full replacement unless it is success on a personal level, therefore, they are perpetually unsatisfied and will be always susceptible to these sorts of psychological surrogates.

Of course, these movements will claim any number of enemies but their most hated enemy is always the same: The fulfilled person, the non-radical. To prevent its members from becoming this most hated enemy of all, mass movements will do everything to ensure its members are not capable of developing a sense of self-worth or reconciling themselves with the present and with their lives. The more fanatics engage, the more unfulfilled they become.

The only winners in this world, that is, the only people who are fulfilled, are those for whom their individual lives can be felt to be personally meaningful and in which they have direct incentives, that is, they feel they have agency in the present and can engage in self-improvement, have self-worth, etc. The more they engage in these behaviors, the more they feel they have direct agency and are in control of their lives and behaviors. They have no incentive to loathe because they don't feel lesser than those they disagree with.

>>8029110
I understand. I have a skinny body, but a very masculine face, so I will never transition 100%. I just play with being androgynous, and that satisfy me.

>>8041831
This broke my heart

>>8041831
>these people ultimately loathe the world such as it is because they loathe themselve

That's some good wisdom.

>>8041831
>Being unable to face their selves independent from a whole
>They can see no point in real self-respect, self-worth
so accepting that you're a cis person and having to live that way is not self realisation?

buying into the delusion that you are not your born sex is crazy

>transitioning is not a solution
just look at all of the crazy trannies posting here

>>8041920
It doesent work that way for me.
I'll never be what I "want" either way

I'll never be a normal happy confident man who revels in his masculinity, with a wife and kids. I'm too broken for that.

I'll never be a girl...like my damaged brain instinctually wants

Instead I'll remain as a halfling. Fulfilled in neither gender, Able only to pass a man, but never truly be one.

>>8041886
It isn't designed to break your heart, just tell you something honest about the human condition. It can be good news and a very useful thing to know. Please read Eric Hoffer's very short but true book on the subject, The True Believer, from which I adapted my post.

>>8041887
Eric Hoffer was a sharp guy.

>>8041920
If you must struggle to be cis, you are probably not cis. You might be, but probably not, by the definition of cis in relation to trans or genderqueer. Nevertheless, my post had nothing whatsoever to do with trans people specifically, nor am I about to specifically talk about trans people in a thread dedicated to repression and self-loathing, which as I said in the opening of my previous post, are hallmarks of the kinds of people who are, by their own definitions and sense of self, losers. Regret has only two decent purposes, as a motivator for individual self-improvement and as a reminder that behavior which leads to bad outcomes for you personally by your own standards ought to be avoided.

Resentment has no functional use at all to fulfilled people because they don't experience it, it's a coping mechanism (and sometimes motivator but only for negative or submissive behavior) for people who have something about their lives/themselves that they dislike so much that they see it everywhere except in themselves. Those behaviors which a group finds most despicable and accuses a hated enemy of most often are those behaviors which that group is most likely to engage in.

In short, those who feel they are perpetually incomplete, will never be enough, can only redeem themselves through self-sacrifice and submission to a holy cause are by their nature hypocritical. They cannot help it, because the very coping mechanisms by which they seek to escape the hated circumstances they find themselves in are those which reinforce their belief, either conscious or unconscious, that they are incapable of self-reliance or self-sufficiency.

>>8042066
The more you wish to assimilate with a normative group, the farther you will feel from that normative group. Here I will outright quote Hoffer's section on minority susceptibility to mass movements (what we might call ideology):

"40

A minority is in a precarious position, however protected it be by law or force. The frustration engendered by the unavoidable sense of insecurity is less intense in a minority intent on preserving its identity than in one bent upon dissolving in and blending with the majority. A minority which preserves its identity is inevitably a compact whole which shelters the individual, gives him a sense of belonging and immunizes him against frustration. On the other hand, in a minority bent on assimilation, the individual stands alone, pitted against prejudice and discrimination. He is also burdened with the sense of guilt, however vague, of a renegade. The orthodox Jew is less frustrated than the emancipated Jew. The segregated Negro in the South is less frustrated than the nonsegregated Negro in the North."

Continued in the next post.

>>8042066
>>8042223
Continued from my last post:

"Again, within a minority bent on assimilation, the least and most successful (economically and culturally) are likely to be more frustrated than those in between. The man who fails sees himself as an outsider; and, in the case of a member of a minority group who wants to blend with the majority, failure intensifies the feeling of not belonging. A similar feeling crops up at the other end of the economic or cultural scale. Those of a minority who attain fortune and fame often find it difficult to gain entrance into the exclusive circles of the majority. They are thus made conscious of their foreignness. Furthermore, having evidence of their individual superiority, they resent the admission of inferiority implied in the process of assimilation. Thus it is to be expected that the least and most successful of a minority bent on assimilation should be the most responsive to the appeal of a proselytizing mass movement. The least and most successful among the Italian Americans were the most ardent admirers of Mussolini’s revolution; the least and most successful among the Irish Americans were the most responsive to De Valera’s call; the least and most successful among the Jews are the most responsive to Zionism; the least and most successful among the Blacks are the most race conscious."

>>8042223
>>8042236
;-;

Maybe I should just accept my place as a transgirl

>>8034085
>I feel bad for my partner because I do care about him a lot and I don't want to hurt him, but I'm not sure I can live a lie forever.

Then don't, you know deep down you can't keep hiding it. Not only that but it will stifle your relationship. Talk to him about how you're feeling, both about yourself and him. You could be lucky like me and he already loves you enough to overcome the fact that you may be trans.

t. mtf with a Gold Star (tm) boyfriend

>>8042256
Do you want my personal advice based on what I've been saying/quoting in this thread or would you rather I quote Hoffer directly so you can make your own decisions about it? Knowing this information does make it possible to consciously avoid negative behaviors.

>>8042066
i feel you, i just go with what works and do the best i can
being honest and accepting myself and being more mature helps

i also think finding a partner who supports you could also change one's outlook too

Does anyone have the comic where the top panel is a guy sitting on the couch at home thinking about how much he wants cock and the bottom panel is him in public being repulsed by all the faggots around him?

Repression doesn't work, trust me

>>8043200
>repression doesn't work
t. transitioner

>>8043206
Lel i was the most repressed person on this board, all the lifting and fighting did was set me back

>>8042281
Not the anon you are responding to but please quote Hoffer.

>>8043198
>sitting on the couch at home thinking about how much he wants cock
>in public being repulsed by all the faggots around him
literally me

>>8043275
"31

The poor who are members of a compact group—a tribe, a closely knit family, a compact racial or religious group—are relatively free of frustration and hence almost immune to the appeal of a proselytizing mass movement. The less a person sees himself as an autonomous individual capable of shaping his own course and solely responsible for his station in life, the less likely is he to see his poverty as evidence of his own inferiority. A member of a compact group has a higher “revolting point” than an autonomous individual. It requires more misery and personal humiliation to goad him to revolt...

The strong family ties of the Chinese probably kept them for ages relatively immune to the appeal of mass movements. “The European who ‘dies for his country’ has behaved in a manner that is unintelligible to a Chinaman [sic], because his family is not directly bene&ted—is, indeed, damaged by the loss of one of its members.” On the other hand, he finds it understandable and honorable “when a Chinaman, in consideration of so much paid to his family, consents to be executed as a substitute for a condemned criminal." "

Is it strange to be repressing and yet assist my partner in transition out of fear of her ending up like me?

>>8043691

It is strange. But at least you're not repressing them because you don't want to see any other trans person better off than yourself. Do they know?

>>8043749
She knows, and understands why I would not want to transition as I work in blue collar. She is petite and feminine as hell so she'd transition favorably while I am stuck as a tall bulky man who played on the high school football team to maintain my image.

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>>8041831
;_;
th...thank you anon senpai

>try-hard beta falls for transition meme
>years of hormones and still doesn't pass
>comes in here w air of superiority and gives unsolicited advice
ok, hon

>>8044188
Who are you even talking to?

>>8044242
the tripfag above

>>8033338

that's an unimpressive, pathetic amount of weight

if he'd done some more weight on a normal snatch, it would've been respectable

instead he did a retarded lift that he could only have done with a pathetic amount of weight, fuck off

>>8044188
Kayla passes I don't like her but she passes.

>>8044728
what is going on in this picture?

>>8028789
chaser here. I furiously fapped to this thread.

>>8045384
Which parts?

>>8033394
hey trashy!

>>8044716
kayla doesn't pass

>>8033797

I know how you feel anon, repressing ftm not gay but had shitlord abusive parents too. Similar shit. Don't talk to them again, no matter what anyone says. They're seriously not worth it.

Dw about coming out. The world loves gays now, genuinely most people do not care. You'll love yourself once you do. Hope you find a cute bf to cuddle.

>>8042203
I'm still saying goodbye to the person that thought they were trans
so it's sad,
but I'm hopeful about the future which I wasn't before

>>8033797
This is what I'm worried about, having kids and one day the local faggot I let him play with turns muh boy into a flaming homosexual. May G()d protect my child from such fate.

>>8041831
Oh look it's another pseudo intellectual Ayn Rand type. Hit me with your best pop psychology phaggot.

The obsession with the sexual leads to the full destruction of the self. Cutting the oneself off from the body politic, often from family and friends into a self imposed exile, because the individual would rather engage in self destructive and abnormal sexual behavior instead of engaging in a healthy social ritual. Not only do these fetishes claim the person's sexual orientation, but they claim their politics, friends and lifestyle as well. The homosexual and other sexual deviations thereof begin to base their entire personality on their sexual exploits. It begins to take hold of the self, transforming it into a husk, now preoccupied with "PRIDE" and rainbows as they attach themselves to their sexuality, not only physically with their lust, but politically with their rallies and marches.

The pop psychologist does not view the homosexual political movement through the same lens he applies to "extremist" (a vague and undefined term) movements. If he did he would see that the same applies. Does the homosexual hate the world because they hate themselves, it certainly seems as though they are dissatisfied with the current state, thus seeking to change it via political and economic means. Alas I'm just a pop psychologist myself.

>>8028789
Y'know if you've already become aware of your desire to transition, you're out of repression.
This is more of a masochistic circlejerk.

Is being a straight femboy in hrt considered repressing?

>>8051496
Damn

>>8051496
I don't know about that. I've known I want to transition for like 2 years but I try my best not to think about it.

>>8045426
the idea of a bunch of women deluding themselves that they are men, roiding out and getting into stereotypical masculinine stuff, only to crack ine day in their early 40s makes me cream my panties. AAP chaser here.

>>8051575
That's why I accepted my nature early on and transitioned

>>8051575
Oh I wont crack. If I make it to 25 without transitioning I will never transition and kill myself instead.

>>8051594
still an AAPs dream^

>>8051612
I wanna be a good girl

>>8051575
>AAP chaser here.
Blanchard was right.

>>8051971
how?

>>8052351
Just like AGP is mirrored by AAP, chasers are mirrored by reverse chasers.

>>8051612
>>8051594
Just kidding I cracked at 23

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>>8034318
i feel you anon. if only we could switch

>>8055855
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all switch?

>>8028789
Or transition, get a nice girlfriend, and live more happily. Gosh I love my girlfriend.

>>8051594
>Oh I wont crack. If I make it to 25 without transitioning I will never transition and kill myself instead.
Cracked at 25, was either crack or suicide, ride it out till 30 then ill decide. Worst thing is knowing I could be 5 years on hrt if i hadn't of deluded myself into 20 being late and repressing.

>>8056382
it'll be wonderful enough if we could all just be in each other's company so at least it ain't this lonely

>>8056487
I know how you feel started at 23 felt this way my whole life could've tried to start at anytime.

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We're all gonna make it ladz

>>8028789
>live humbly and pathetically?
You actually make it sound kind of nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-1FjrvUH3A

You're brain on repression

>>8056933
this is far, far too accurate

>>8056933
Yeah this is pretty true but I don't know who will end up winning me or dyshoria

>>8056933
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q1XGcNVTIE

>your brain when it first tried E

>>8057005
Couldn't tell you about this one. I'm too good at repressing.

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>>8057015
It does make me feel better.
And it's nice to not be angry or ragey anymore

>>8057061
It probably does and it probably is. It's too late for me though I'm 23 I know it wouldn't turn out well. That's good it worked for you though.

>>8057280
Just take the pill anon

Lots of people just take the pill

Just.... take it

>>8057280
>>8057342
Can confirm.

It helps.

>>8057342
>>8061155
>It helps.
prove it ;-;

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>>8061161
It takes away the anger

>>8057342
>>8061155
I know eventually it's going to happen but I don't think I'm at the point where I can just start HRT

>>8061161
Im an ex-gangster. I transitioned when I was 21. Never knew what happiness was before it. I just had drugs and power and all the women that could fill any cis mans void. Just not my own.

To put a point to how manly I appeared. At 16 I was able to walk into any bar and never get ID'd. Can still out fight my boy friend, though he is much stronger than I am now. I went from 200+ of muscle at 6'0 to 160 and thick and I stand at about 5'10 now.

Not to imply he and I beat one another, we just play around and the one time it got heated and we smack boxed for who made dinner.

I'm still me, I'm just a happier and pretty to the point where I nearly landed a modeling job. Mones took a gnarly looking guy and turned him into a hippy girl. It is worth it if you're brave enough to follow your own path.

Over the past several months (nearly a year) I've been feeling increasingly dysphoric. I realize that I'm mtf, but I don't want to want to transition. I've seen first hand how shitty a life trannies live, how shitty it is, and yet that's not really deterring me. So far I haven't come out to anyone, so there's still time for me to work this out before it becomes a huge issue in my life.

Convince me not to transition.

>>8061285
Well...that's impressive

>>8061293
There's literally no reason not to at least try, your life will be shitty as a repressor anyway.

>>8061303
Ask me any thing. I'll be just working out for another 45 minutes in my room and even then. I'll lounge around until I pass out.

>>8061313
How did you find the strength to come out after building such a masculine rep?

>>8061293
Heres a bonus for you. I had several of my "straight" friends (straight from labeling their sexuality out of fear of attraction to me.) Eventually start to really dig me. They were normal cis men that slowly each were like "Aaaaaah! Just come here and lets cuddle while we play CoD"

For all of your fears, you fail to acknowledge the positives that you may write off as pure fantasy.

>>8061313
This>>8061319

I'm having such a hard time coming out and I don't think I would have it nearly as badly as you.

>>8061319
It was very hard, that I'll admit. I first came out to the woman who raised me. She just had joked about why I always had such a stick up my ass.

Next I told one of the college kids I sold weed to that I was close with. He responded favorably and told me he'd fight any one that said a cross word. I was always good to people despite what I was.
Next I told the person I thought would respond the worst. My 6'5 240 pounds of muscle Mountain looking mother fucking friend.
He doubted it and fought it verbally, but eventually was one of the ones that had me on his lap or danced with me.

After I told the rest of the clique who then proceeded to tell me they had always known I was hiding some darkness and that I could leave with NSA.
I have to guess that the reason why I could make that leap after building such a reputation is that I always had a dedication to the truth.
Truth was that the "male ego illusion" I had been using was built to deflect pain and assume control by attempting to kill my real self through acclimation.

Shit did not work at all. Truth was that I was a female that was scared.

For months after I came out people would come up and be like "You hear what they're saying about you?"

>>8061334
It isn't what we go through. It is how we cope or negotiate the incoming negativity.
I doubt I'll be much help, but if I can give any sort of courage? Alright.

>>8061334
>>8061348
"You hear what they're saying about you?"
Is because many people didn't believe it.

>>8061307
>>8061327
What the fuck's the point of repression general if no one here will tell me to repress this? I'm sick of how open and understanding you trannies are. Like when I was questioning, and no one would tell me that I was just crazy, or that there was some other cause, or that it would just go away with time. This is very quickly taking over my life and driving me mad and I want it to fucking end.

Now someone please call me a hon and tell me to kill myself.

>>8061327
>>8061348
That's really inspiring

>>8061362
OP here
I'm on estrogen. I just make these threads when I'm low.
I don't know if any pure repressors exist anymore

>>8061362
Because my life's work is to lessen pain and further truth. Don't like it? Then you can be a coward and live a lie and only experience pain. You don't like it. I don't like it.
I've done this enough to know that some folks are just too fearful. Tell me, what do you have to lose?

>>8061362
You are a girl, just accept it and stop crying online.

>>8061377
>>8061391
I understand this feel. It feels better accepting it

>>8061393
Its re-taking your power. Its a claim that you'll no longer suffer unless it is by your hand. Guess we lost the repressor

>>8061376
fucking hell I really thought there was something to this.
>>8061391
I'm gonna cry offline for a while.

>>8061405
You're making a mistake. I'm a certified Shamaness. You won't get the option to speak with a secular spiritual leader often.
Don't be a coward, use this pain as a fuel to work with me here.

>>8061407
Alright. Please help.

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>>8028789
this is retarded, people don't actively "repress" GD unless they are batshit retarded masochists who still for some reason buy into this shit.

the people who don't call it GD either call it something else and get told they're otherkin or are just fucking quasi-bisexual of some variety and don't get into any further detail because nobody-fucking-cares.

>>8061405
Though it is your path to choose. I am sorry for your suffering. Hope you soon realize the treasures in your real self that you may be hiding. They're a reward to yourself foremost and others if you manifest them properly. These gifts are transmuted into pain when you're not in tune with yourself.
Goodluck

>>8061411
Good job. This shows that you don't wish to suffer. You'd not suffer if you could do so.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I've held dying friends, I've broke down like a baby in doing so. I for a time chose death like you yourself are doing. I'm not going to paint a bullshit fairy tale and say "It can all be magical!" Though it has a chance to be.

Actually, tell me what you desire. Bonus if you give me some back ground on yourself.. Age and such.

>>8061414
>Sometimes its logically better to play the game of life as a man even though youre a girl.

I more or less feel this way in reverse and I don't see the issue. No hangups, no dysphoria, I'm basically Bugs Bunny.

Maybe it's not the same thing, but I can't in confidence say I was mentally well to begin with.

>>8061432
>a female powered society

I don't see it that way, I think identity politics are just a cash cow all across the board. I'm not saying women don't abuse the law, but if you think they run the show and don't just lobby for stupid shit, you might just be terminally beta.

>>8061415
There's not a whole lot to say about my background. I was until last year a regular guy. I didn't ever really question my gender. As for what I desire, I desire to not feel dysphoric anymore. Like, I don't want to be a girl, but the small steps I've taken towards transition are the only things that reduce that dysphoria.

>>8061446
You can be a feminine male alpha too you know and just acknowledge that a lot of women are jaded opportunists who are inconsiderate of everyone else.

It's far less disingenuous than becoming a woman, just to try and have more credibility as an MRA and try to convince gay men they're not gay.

>>8061442
Should certainly make sure this isn't a phase. Though I'd say if its years in the running.. May be stuck.
Many people don't want to be themselves, but that's what they are.
I appreciate the energy you put forth, I know its hard when you're drained.
Anyways, do you not want to be a girl because of place in society or the shame with being a trans-female + never scientifically being such?

The first one would be a matter of you looking through your metaphorical black shades that hide the whole picture from you and makes things darker than what they are.

If the second? Well, can't fault that. Med-tech is slowly marching that way. The 90's generation and early 2k may be the last generations to not get lab grown uteri. We're bounding in that field if you weren't aware.

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>>8061452
>lab grown uteri

Nope everything checks out here. Nothing can possibly go wrong, nope.

>>8061441
t. male feminist

>>8061467
-_-

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>>8061475
just fuck my shit up

>>8061452
Of the two aspects, I'd say it's definitely more the societal aspects of being a girl/transitioning that is the bigger problem for me. I've known many transwomen personally who have told me about their experiences and there wasn't one who hadn't been raped or homeless or lost friends and family etc. They told me things like what its like going out and having people stare at them and how awful it is when you're just trying to do something normal. Or be hounded by chasers all the time.

Is it so wrong for me to not want that? to fight that as much as I can?

>>8061482
>Or be hounded by chasers all the time.
I think of it as being like that one super bad bitch in highschool that gets to make fun of nerds that ask her out.

. I've known many transwomen personally who have told me about their experiences and there wasn't one who hadn't been raped or homeless
I learned a lot being homeless, it actually wasn't so terrible. Taught me not to look down on folks and it broke me of all criminal behavior just because I don't like being arrested. Live free, fuck morals as long as you're ethical.
A cop did rape me, but he got caught running protection rackets on dealers and last I heard? They've been beating his lips swollen every time they take him out of solitary. I'm content with that.

>what its like going out and having people stare at them
For awhile that got to me.. Then I duck faced and winked one day and the guy completely flushed red and nearly knocked his drink over.
We're raised male, so were not used to said attention. Furthermore, girls stare either cause they hate you or they're taking fashion notes. Thats totally normal.

>how awful it is when you're just trying to do something normal.
I just have a hunch and I could very well be wrong that could be related to anxiety that is fed from insecurities in the other fields.
Know what helped my anxiety early transition? I treat the world like it is say.. Skyrim. I'm the PC, everyone else are NPCs until they prove to be more.
Got shit to do, fuck what some ones opinion is. Same person judging you might not be able to bust a nut with out gagging on their own shit.

>>8061518
>A cop did rape me,
WTF
>They've been beating his lips swollen every time they take him out of solitary.
WTF

>>8061482
>Is it so wrong for me to not want that? to fight that as much as I can?
That is proportional to the amount of suffering it causes.
Though if you're crying because of it? I'd say that its almost like masochism, because you're hurting to avoid concepts that you've imagined in your mind to secure an illusion of yourself that is keeping you in a circle of feeling such a way but with out having the random chance that you'll either have a good life, or a bad one.

Do keep in mind, I was selling hard drugs during my cop escapade and he thought I'd break. Prick.
Try thinking about the good that you being whole with yourself could lead to.
You lose friends and then you find new people that fill their positions, frankly if they leave you because you're trying to heal yourself? They weren't real friends anyways.
Family? Shit, blood aint so thick. My biological father and I fist fought nearly every time we got around one another. My mom though? Stuck by me and ended up becoming like a sister. My grandpa ended up becoming a lot nicer to me because I wasn't slinging dope and I radiated life.
My best advice I can give is to side line advice.. Even mine if it doesn't fit for you.

Though I'd advise you give this a shot.
You're minds eye is covered with a dark lens, try and removed the shades covering it and think clearly and objectively about the good things that would alleviate your sorrows.

I'll tell you this, in my experience? Feeling whole and in tune with yourself is better than a half gram injection of Heroin.

Anyways, thanks for spending some energy and time with me and giving me a chance to try and give you a different perspective. I need to be at work in 4 hours and I need to sleep.

May you find peace in life.

>>8061551
Yes swollen shut. Apparently they beat his ass so bad every time he hits gen pop that they swell his lips and his eyes shut. I chalk it up to Karma.

Yeah wanna know what made it more horrifying? I tried to do some thing about it. Just ended up with a judge sentencing me to 8 months for "resisting arrest". Things like that are why I'm trying to fight the good fight. So people know that we're people.

Anyways, I really need to get to bed.

>>8061569
You're strong.

>>8061518
>>8061557
I appreciate you staying up and sharing your experiences and giving advice. I've calmed down a bit from where I was when I made my first post in the thread. You've given me a lot to think about.

Thank you.

tfw repression gen is going to be the reason I end up transitioning

>>8061599
do it or don't, you probably look like a pokemon either way

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>>119537597
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n7AQ8KUS3I

General Y Chromosome: Someone turn off that damn receptor

Y Chromosome: My Task Force is out of the bloodstream. I'm commandeering your unit, Sergeant Testosterone.

Sgt. Testosterone: Yes, Sir. All yours, Sir.

Y Chromosome: I've requisitioned a Anabolic from the 8th Armored.

Sgt. Testosterone: Steroid's a mean bastard, Sir.

Y Chromosome: He'll walk you in. The Estrogens are burning through our defenses and our intel. Can't let 'em take this corner.

Sgt. Testosterone: Just point it out on the map, Sir. They won't take it.

>>8062166
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-CxIeAA7JM

SecDef: Gentlemen, the cypro missile's vector puts it en route to the Testes. We will lose the penis.

Y Chromosome: We've rebuilt it before, we'll rebuild it again.

Sec Hormonal Defence: Casualties?

Y Chromosome: Possibly 30,000 to 50,000 androgens Depends on the exact location of the detonation. All systems will go down.

SecDef: General Y Chromosome, you warned us. We should've listened.

General Y Chromosome: When they speak of this moment, we will not be the ones who stood guard while our man transitioned. One thing is responsible for all this. Dysphoria must be brought to light.

SecDef: Whatever you need General. You've got a blank check.

>>8061285
>from 6"0 to 5"10
Tell me your secrets

>>8028789
I'm dating the girl I feel like I want to marry, but I'm small and twinkish with a soccer player butt, so I developed a fetish for being a heart breaking bottom. I still never experienced a prostate orgasm, but I will remain loyal to her.

I think I'm going to ask her to peg me, I'm sure she'll do it. We might also try threesomes with rules or something, someday, because she's eaten girls out before.

>>8061285

>thick
>at 5'10" and 160 pounds

Post a pic of your waist and hips. I don't believe it. Also, do the people you knew from your past know you transitioned? How do they treat you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CXqTRdO-P0

im a mess

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it was easier to pretend i was a super solider instead of accepting i was trans

>>8062940
I believe it. I mean I accepted I'm trans but I'm not transitioning. I will end up looking like shit maybe I feel a little better for a little while until I look into a mirror. Shit is not worth it.

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>>8062940

Of course it was easier. It's a delusion backed up by no action in real life. Like an upper-middle class, suburban whigger who thinks he's a gangster and a rapper.

>>8061578
I appreciate that you put the energy into letting me speak with you. I know how draining mad depression is. Even sentences can be a struggle.

I would advise staying true to thyself.

>>8061573
Am I? I started crying at a tech support job due to the stress it gave me. I just learned that suffering that isn't long term due to a condition that you can't resolve is just what you feel in the present moment, but extended through each present moment until it is finished.

Persevering pays off if you just draw a line in the sand.

>>8062811
Don't care if you believe it or not. I also don't have any method to take a picture at this point in time. I corset trained for 3 years so that was a huge thing.

>do the people you knew from your past know you transitioned? How do they treat you?
Most of them yeah and most of them are understanding of it and use female pro-nouns. Far as the social circle? I bounce back and forth between the guys and gals. Girls were slower to come around, guys eventually all came around. Even my tier 2 best friend that fought with me for 4 years. He got locked up and wrote me a letter and explained that he was sorry for always calling me he and telling me I wasn't a girl and it was just a phase.

Some people haven't even recognized me which is fun.


Also do lots of butt exercises, it helps with curvature.

>>8063959
Well I'm really glad everything worked out for you.

>>8064005
Only due to work.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv1FyQn2kQA

>tfw objectively my super repression years at 18 will always look better than whatever I achieve in transition
>tfw was at peak subconscious repression after successfully burying it at 13
>believed I was a alpha
>hyper aggressive, massive strength
>now will forever be a shadow of my former self

>>8028789
I'm pretty sure I'm going to crack soon and transition. It's gonna really fuck up my life too. I hate feeling this way.

>>8061376
I'm a non transitioner who lives as a man, does that make me a pure repressor?

>>8061362
>understanding you trannies
no they're quite cancerous if you go to mtfg
doesn't matter, everyone eventually fails and goes back to being cis OR becomes a hon

>>8070729
No, true repression means burying the issue in estrogen.

>>8070997
but how do you repress once you've been on hrt for ages and become, if not passable, very feminine at least

>>8071183
>but how do you repress once you've been on hrt for ages and become, if not passable, very feminine at least
Thinking I will become very feminine in my 20's hahahah good one anon

>>8070997
repression isnt the only answer
some of us just move on and get a life as cis males

>>8071202
but you will
like especially if you start as young as in your twenties you will eventually stop looking like a normal cis guy
cis guys dont look like you do when youve been on estrogen for years
you might even start looking more like a masc woman than a fem man

>>8071344
But you are repressing?

>>8071344
>>8071448
it's not repressing if it's AGP
Fetishes change all the time

>>8071455
AGP isn't a fetish...

>>8071465
I honestly don't get the absolutes of either passing or continuing to as a "cis" male. You're not a cis male if you have gender dysporia. It such a cop-out that you'd reinforce the gender binary because you're too afraid to do something about your mental well-being. It's okay to be on HRT and "present" male. You think an actual cis male with prostate cancer is gonna let themselves die because they don't want gyno? That's basically what you're doing with your cancer of the mind.

>>8071455
>>8071465
My AGP has changed throughout my life. When I was 10-11 I was gonna get a sexchange and become a lesbian when I grew up. When I was 20-21 I was gonna be a crossdresser as soon as it was safe and cool. Now at 32 in 2017 I don't feel like becoming a tranny or even cross dressing. I mean I still would be curious how E feels and womens clothes are so cute, but I just don't have the burning need anymore. Although maybe it's because i'm a stoner now. My pre stoner self was kinda dysphoric.

I do prefer the social acceptance that comes from bring a masculine cishet male.

>>8071763
My 11 year old self questioned what it was like to be a girl
My 15 year old self kind of wanted to be a girl
My 20 year old self wanted to be a girl so badly it crippled his life
Now I'm 24 and I hate myself and wish I was dead

>>8071763
>I do prefer the social acceptance that comes from bring a masculine cishet male.

Coward

>>8071780
I can relate
androphiliac, gynophiliac or bi?

>>8071816
>Coward
It's a sacrifice you make if you transition. Why is it cowardly of her to decide the sacrifice isn't worth it?

The should be shaming the culture that makes being trans so unpleasant, not the victims of that culture.

>>8071852
I'm not talking about transition, I'm talking about HRT. If you're dysphoric HRT can make a massive difference. I'm not going to transition, but I'm no longer suicidal about it.

>>8071982
It has its costs too. Tits and health and fertility and having to take tablets forever.

>>8071982
what about this though?
>>8071183
>>8071346

>>8072028
Okay, but are you healthy enough to take it? Do you have to brush your teeth everyday? It becomes habit.
>fatherhood
Really?

>>8072036
Congrats! You now look like a masculine woman! You advance to the next stage.

>>8071816
>Coward

I'm a cowardly AGP I guess. But isn't that what repgen is all about? If your brave and fierce this is not the thread for you.

>>8071852
Transition is a sacrifice and for some of us it doesn't seem worth it. That's why I can't figure out why some AGPs even bother. Like some of those reddit hons for example.

>>8071982
This is something I couldn't do. A lot of advantages to T. For the young trannies I could see some benefits.

>>8071448
don't need to repress, b/c i'm learning to accept my fem side
and know that i'm just an andro cis male

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https://youtu.be/Hj2vU2nr5Jw

repressional suicide is the only honor for a repressor.

https://youtu.be/2WEAVsNkIps

>tfw on hrt and my body is still fighting it and wants to repress

SAVE ME

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>>8061391
>tfw ftm and read this

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>>8074361
stop being silly Amy

>>8061415
Please please talk to me, I'm so ready to off myself. Do you have a discord?

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>>8074394
ok...

>>8074414

>thinking you haven't made it obvious when you're posting your repression garbage

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>>8074361
>"how long we got Sarge?"
>"not long Private...we hold the line, its our duty"

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>>8074439
if i pretend its not happening it helps me calm down

>>8074450

How did you end up so fucked up that being on estradiol you still want to try to go back to being a man? Your parents must have done some real work on you.

>>8074361
>>8074785
I'm in the same boat tbqh.

>>8074785
i dont want to stop hrt

i just feel super ashamed of my self

>>8075609
honestly spartan i have gone though similar shit as you with repression and stopping hrt and thinking its not gonna work out and it would be better if i was just a man but i never type about it like you do

i do relate to you a hell of a lot though

>>8075630
im ok right now. i got rid of feels with cardio.

at least i look more faggy now.

>>8074361
>>8074785
>>8074793
I am too. I'm on HRT and present male and it helps a bit but I'm still dysphoric.

I'm too cowardly to socially transition and keep thinking maybe it would be better to get off the pills and live as a man.

does anyone else here ignore females?
Like I just blank them and don't give them the time of day
And I especially don't hold doors for them

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Me vs Dysphoria

>>8080225
Not really but I just treat them like everyone else and don't try to flatter or impress them

>>8080225

I'm a tranny and I used to do that since about middle school, I think.

>>8082002
Why? Why did you stop?

>>8082031

I felt like straight guys were giving wome more attention than they deserve and inflating their egos tol much. They end up thinking they're irresistible and above the world when they have just been dealing with chimps. Being envious of cis women probably came into it as a motivation later. I still don't treat them specially, but I don't ignore them either, possibly just because I matured in some sense.

I have to admit, I watched The Sword in the Stone one time when I was 4-6 years old and the part where the girl squirrel ended up heartbroken after Arthur was turned back into a boy made me want to break women's hearts out of sadistic glee. So some part of it might be inherent.

>>8082357
>I felt like straight guys were giving wome more attention than they deserve and inflating their egos tol much. They end up thinking they're irresistible and above the world when they have just been dealing with chimps.
I still feel that way...

That squirrel scene stuck in my mind too but I don't think it that way.

>>8082478

How did the scene affect you?

>>8082666
I'm not sure. It's hard to remember. I'll see if I can re-watch it on youtube. That might jog memories. I just know it stuck in my mind afterwards and possibly in some sexual way. I associated it with a drawing I saw of a hot girl in a squirrel costume leotard too.

>>8082666
>>8082696
It made me sad and I felt sorry for the little squirrel....you guys are seriously autistic or something.

>>8082822
That might have been it for me. Identifying with the female squirrel.

>>8082822

Not autistic... S A D I S T I C

>>8082842

What do you mean identifying with her?

>>8083120
Empathizing with her. I'm not sure.

>>8082822
Just really edgy people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr64n_Ri3qg

just a reminder that transition is not an option. you have to defend yourself

fuck all of this, why can't I get out of this trans meme

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>>8090667

Because it isn't a meme. This is your one and only life.

>>8090667
find something better to occupy your time
find someone to be with

I am looking for a CD (or a Hon gf) where do I find one? I was told to come here, pls help thank you.

Looks = non-issue

>>8092646
>Looks = non-issue
This just gives me the impression you're plsnning on murdering me. Why would looks be a non-issue?

>>8092665
Because I'm not exactly the best looking person myself, so I don't judge others on how they look.

I'm also bi, so I like a variety of features.

>>8092665
>>8092674
I am /fit/ though, so there's that. (I don't mind if you're fat/Skelly/fit though I just want a hon gf/ crossdresser)

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when will i become a girl?

>>8092693
When you shave your hair and take hormones

>>8092682
where do you live

>>8092773
England

(Pls god also be from England)

>>8092646
you can try mtfg, but most are boymode trannies

>>8092820
I don't want to be called a chaser though, that's what they'll think, but I'm not

>>8061391
Define a girl

>>8092825
find a fem guy,
if he looks like a trap, then you might just get lucky

>>8092809
haha no sry (aus). check in in about 6 months tho, i'm often in england (dual citizen)

>>8093005
Sweet mind if we keep in touch then? You got contact?
>>8092996
Those are hard to find

>>8093016
discord emm#7378

im gonna transition bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYL28a0LM_A

what did he mean by this?