How to tell if AGP

>>8026067
yes, an odd feeling when you don't stop wanting to be the girl and you stop feeling crushing shame

>>8026067
Simple short cut to this test
AGP doesn't exist.

>>8026067
Yes, at the beginning, i had something like this, when i yet didn't realise that i am trans, i thought that i am going crazy...so i don't have this nice stories like - as a 5 years old kid i was sure that it is not my body......

>>8026110
>>8026240
How long did it take for you to feel like you were trans rather than a fetishist/agp ?

>>8026067
If you self-insert as the little girl to get off, then you are AGP.

>>8026240
>as a 5 years old kid i was sure that it is not my body......
What were your trans feelings at that age?

>>8026313
I misread, sorry. How did the fantasies start and when did you start to realize it was something more?

>>8026336
haha not anon, but I am OP.

I thought that I had misread so I deleted my reply.

But if you're interested, I have memories of when I was little playing with my cousins, I would always hang out with the girls, and I loved dressups. Where I would always sheepishly try to wear the dresses

I also got my first erections then, and I hated it because it happened whenever I tried to wear the dresses, and I thought it meant I just had to pee, but It wouldn't go away.

>>8026360
>I also got my first erections then, and I hated it because it happened whenever I tried to wear the dresses, and I thought I just had to pee, but It wouldn't go away.
I know this feel too much anon, would do the same with my cousins and mom.

>>8026435
Yeah haha, it was really annoying, and afterwards when I realised what it meant it hung on my mind for ages. Kind of like it was proof that I wasn't really trans, that I was just some sick fetishist.

Now whenever I get up and wear a bra and panties its just normal for me, thank fuck.

>>8026067
Didn't work, can't fap because hormones kill the boner

>>8026454
you're supposed to do this before hormones silly.

But also thats weird, I've been on hormones for a year, oestrogen is at 1000+, testosterone is negligible, also on progesterone, and I can still get a boner, although it hurts some times, and my libido is lower.

>>8026477
>oestrogen is at 1000+

You might want to get that reined in m8, that's far above normal levels.

>>8026482
Ehh its been fantastic so far, tits are b-cups. Plus its there for at least another 6 months because its an implant.

Also endocrinologist has recommended it

>>8026067
When I was younger I felt some serious shame and thought I was yeah a sick fetishist. I don't anymore and I don't even know when it happened.

>>8026477
I'm 2 months on cypro and progy and I haven't been able to orgasm for like 3 weeks

>>8026360
wew, I doubly misread, I thought that post was anon even though it clearly wasn't.

How old were you playing dressup for the first time? And how did it progress from there into you becoming aware it wasn't just fun and hot but was your gender identity?

>>8026513
god I don't know, it was among my earliest memories, id guess 5-6.

I didn't realise it until I was 12-13 where I looked it up on the internet, then I found some sissy sites and [spoiler]Laura's Playground[/spoiler].

I took this online transgender test over and over, trying to get the "androgynous" result or something. Trying desperately to repress my feelings as just a fetish. Around 14 I realised it wasn't a fetish and I came out to my mum.

>>8026511
hmm, well I've only been on spiro and progynova, and while I lost libido, going months without mastubating, I never lost the ability to orgasm.

In fact after getting on progesterone I think I've been more sexual, and more dominant which is weird because I've always thought of myself as a total sub.

>>8026450
Why was it annoying? Because it felt like proof you weren't trans? Sad.

>Now whenever I get up and wear a bra and panties its just normal for me, thank fuck.
Why is that good? What's your sexuality like now?

>>8026545
well because when I was little I didn't care about wearing dresses as a fetish, I just wanted to dress up. With erections it just annoyed me because it distracted from dressing up.

Well it means that I'm not in this because its a fetish. Which I'm certain about now. As for sexuality I'm bi, but 80% into guys.

AGP was never an issue to me. I knew I was a girl, and then I had my first crush on a woman... It confused me for a bit, then I realized that if there were lesbians, then there must also be MtF transsexuals that also loved women.

>>8026533
>Around 14 I realised it wasn't a fetish and I came out to my mum.
Was she supportive? Did you get to transition quickly after that?

>>8026632
Was the dressing up more important than the arousal later too, or did that change?

>Well it means that I'm not in this because its a fetish. Which I'm certain about now.
I don't think feeling like that is a fetish whether people who transition or not. More like it's part of their sexuality.

>>8026647
It took a long time to convince mum that I was really transgender, no thanks to dad being a closet sissy fetishist (which I found out later) clouding her judgement.

Well I liked the idea of dressing up for two main reasons, one was because I wanted to be pretty and liked the way I looked, and the other was for a sexual reason, like dressing up nice for a guy. I feel like they enhanced the fantasies in my mind.

I was really afraid that deep down I was transitioning for the wrong reasons, and that if I did I would live to regret it.

Now the dilemma is much easier to rationalise, because, after studying a bit of philosophy, I realised that even if I have two motivations for an action, the one I actively endorse is the "true" motivation.

>>8026639
Well thats great for you, although having a crush on a girl would have made lingered on my mind as some reason that I'm not trans. I'm glad you got through it!

>>8026720
>dad being a closet sissy fetishist (which I found out later) clouding her judgement.
How did you manage to persuade her in the end? How much time you could have been transitioning did it cost you?

How did you find out about your dad in the end?

So the wanting to be pretty and look like a girl was the motivation you endorsed and the reason you are transitioning?

>>8026735
I persuaded mum via constant pestering, a few psychiatrists, and a really bad mood. Although that is putting it lightly it got pretty serious, I ended up cutting myself a few times.

I found out about dad basically when I came out, first thing mum said was "you're just like dad". Which was very weird. After I got on hormones she ended up telling me that he had a stash of womens clothes in a suitcase in their room.

Well thats how I look at it retrospectively , I was just happy wearing those dresses, It felt so nice, like I was free in a sense. The real reason I transitioned happend later when I started to feel really sad that I couldn't be like this all the time, I felt like I was a different person as a boy and as a girl, and I got extremely sad when I wasn't able to express myself. Eventually I realised that the side of me that was kept inside, that wasn't able to be expressed, was actually the true me. It was the version of me I wanted to show to world, it was who I wanted to be seen as. Not this angry, loud boy.

>>8026787
Did the psychiatrists help? How did she try to stop you transitioning before you won her over?

Why did she tell you about his stash in the end? Has he talked about it to you? What does he think of you transitioning?

How did your sadness at being a boy show itself? Which parts of your personality couldn't you express as a boy?

>>8026067
Do you have a throwaway email OP?

>>8027033
no but I can make one?
why do you ask?
>>8026846
Well I got bounced around some useless ones, and I didn't get on hormones until she okay-ed it.

Because the rest of the family wasn't all that emotional, and dad was a bit of an autist. I kind of became her emotional release in a sense.

Dad doesn't know that I know about him, he says little of my transitioning, I think its a very hard topic for him.

I hated being a boy for lots of reasons, its hard to explain, but there was a physical discomfort with my body. I remember crying in the bathroom because I hated all my leg hair and I didn't have a razor because I didn't shave yet. There was also a deeper mental discomfort, knowing I would always be treated differently as a boy in social situations, as well as relationships. I also felt that being in a gay relationship wasn't what I liked either. The only time I hooked up with a guy, we went to a bathroom stall and basically gave each other handjobs. I was fine with giving him one, but as soon as he touched my cock I started to panic and get super depressed.

>>8027033
>>8027119

Here is my throwaway
[email protected]

>>8027134
Messaged you.