How do you get over the shame of being trans? I feel like I've

This is literally me right there. It's been three years and I still haven't gotten over the shame already. Kill me.

The shame is a manifestation of internalized transphobia that is reflective of their primitive beliefs. You shouldn't hold yourself responsible for who you are.

Most importantly remember that being trans is being disabled. Disabled people can't afford to feel shame for their existence. Look at other resources for disabled people and learn how to make the best of your situation.

Also you don't owe your parents your existence. There are plenty of ways you can still make them proud depending on what you do with your life. Just don't make pleasing them your end goal or you will live a shallow life.

t. transwoman 18 months into HRT who's parents are a literal nightmare about this.

>>7988021
I wasn't THAT ashamed of being trans, until I came to this site. Now I hate myself and my trans friends.

>>7988021
>failed my parents
Shame over responsibility to your parents is a male concept. Abandon it if you want to live as a girl.

>>7988073
>Abandon shame
Such terrible advice lol

>>7988761
Fine, go feel shame and accept you're a man who has to serve his parents and eventually his wife, and not a woman in any way, shape or form.

>>7988048
>You shouldn't hold yourself responsible for who you are.
WEW FUCKING LAD

>>7988021
I only feel shame for being attracted to women. In fact I only feel shame for feeling sexual attraction at all. I wish I didn't even have sex organs. In fact I wish I wasn't even alive.

>>7989261
>I only feel shame for being attracted to women.
Why?

>In fact I only feel shame for feeling sexual attraction at all. I wish I didn't even have sex organs.
Why this too?

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>>7989278
I don't really understand myself for the most part but I think I'm mtf. But I absolutely abhor transbians and the idea of being with a girl as a woman. But I'm attracted to both girls and guys. But I'm only attracted to twinks which makes me wonder if I'm actually even attracted to guys at all or I just like feminine things in general. Which then draws into question whether I'm transitioning because of actual transgenderism or simply because I have some repressed hatred of males and the male for, which is probably. I grew up in a house without any men and had all female friends in school and got bullied by guys mostly, so I can't just rule that out. In all honesty I'm not sure which parts of my personality are endemic to me and which ones are transient memes or the product of illegitimate desires and goals that I don't fully recognize. For instance when i was much younger I stole my sisters clothes and wore them, but it gave me an erection sometimes. that doesn't seem quite right for a true mtf. But at the same time, in this day and age I own a few full female outfits that I wear occasionally and they don't get me aroused at all. Nor does the sight of myself in the mirror. When i'm able to put together a good look I mostly feel satisfaction, as though I've overcome a tricky non-mechanical obstacle or puzzle. But then I think about what is sexually arousing to me. The idea of getting pegged and being the "property" of some older femdom, and it brings everything into question again with that sort of thinking being so common in "illegitimate" mtf. The best way to put it is that the core principle of my personality is still a mystery to me, and I've been in the process of trying to purge spooks of external origin for about 4 years (since I was 17) and this one is still here after all this time.

>>7989307
>But I absolutely abhor transbians and the idea of being with a girl as a woman.
Why?

>In all honesty I'm not sure which parts of my personality are endemic to me and which ones are transient memes or the product of illegitimate desires and goals that I don't fully recognize.
What's the difference? They're all just mental traits you have, regardless of origin.

>For instance when i was much younger I stole my sisters clothes and wore them, but it gave me an erection sometimes. that doesn't seem quite right for a true mtf.
That's normal for AGPs.

>But at the same time, in this day and age I own a few full female outfits that I wear occasionally and they don't get me aroused at all.
AGP arousal often goes down with presenting female, even if you aren't transitioning.

>>7989333
>>But I absolutely abhor transbians and the idea of being with a girl as a woman.
>Why?
If I knew that much this wouldn't be so difficult.

>>In all honesty I'm not sure which parts of my personality are endemic to me and which ones are transient memes or the product of illegitimate desires and goals that I don't fully recognize.
>What's the difference? They're all just mental traits you have, regardless of origin.
Not quite. it would be best to be able to curate my habits and cultivate more productive ones. I know that there's obviously a limit to what will fall within this scope but I have to feel around the personality space to find it.

>>For instance when i was much younger I stole my sisters clothes and wore them, but it gave me an erection sometimes. that doesn't seem quite right for a true mtf.
>That's normal for AGPs.
Aren't they not trutrans?

>>But at the same time, in this day and age I own a few full female outfits that I wear occasionally and they don't get me aroused at all.
>AGP arousal often goes down with presenting female, even if you aren't transitioning.
I don't quite understand. Does that mean that AGP CD's tend to get used to it?

>>7988021
you live for yourself, not for your parents. It came as a shock to my parents, but that was 6 years ago, now they're proud ive got a job and a house, they're happy to see me happy. I know it doesnt happen to everyone but FUCK IT you live for yourself

also T helps a lot to chill

>>7989261
IKTF. I cringe at the thought of being happy. I don't deserve to be happy. I'm fucked up and full of transphobia.

>>7989307
There is no 'illegitimate' trans so long as your dysphoric. Getting a boner is natural for a while the feel alone is different just be you.

>>7989684
I'm sorry if I seem like I'm being over-complicated about it but I want to be absolutely sure before I pursue any irreversible body modification.

>>7988059
Really? That's a shame. You really shouldn't let this place influence you that way...although that's easier said than done.

As a cis-male bi-fag, this board is actually pretty eye-opening for me regarding the trans issues.

I like seeing the bluntness and internal disagreement between trans people about semantics and trends and the significance of these. It really makes me much more sympathetic to trans people overall, especially compared to some of the thought policing I see on Facebook, which is kind of a turn off.

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>>7990049
>I like seeing the bluntness and internal disagreement between trans people about semantics and trends and the significance of these. It really makes me much more sympathetic to trans people overall, especially compared to some of the thought policing I see on Facebook, which is kind of a turn off.
4chan is intellectually rich because people are allowed actual discourse here. The greatest philosophical and cultural works from the 21st century will be posts from this website.

>>7990049
>As a cis-male bi-fag, this board is actually pretty eye-opening for me regarding the trans issues.
Can you mention specifics?

I know what you mean about Facebook. This is why anonymity is great.

I feel like I've failed my family as well

>only child between mother and father
>mom had another kid but he's autistic
>dad had another kid but it's a girl
>too scared to say "yes I'm a mentally ill faggot that wants to dress up like a girl and have a boyfriend and have him stick his penis in me"

i wanna die desu

>>7988021
^This is me.

I'm 3 yrs in. I'm passable, if only barely. I have XY chromosomes, so I will never, ever be female. I'm a shame to my parents.

I got over about it. I try to work my best so my boss wouldn't fire me (where I live it's 100% legal, and common to fire a trans* person, just because they is trans*, and it happened to me several times). I work to get my Surgery. And if I'm lucky, I can even a beautiful wife (or handsome husband), and children, even, whom I can raise with love and serve.

I never really got this, and my dad hates me
But why would you feel shame for being trans? It's not your fault

couldn't care less, it's still my life
i just don't feel like proving anything/fulfilling someone's wishes when i can just not give a shit and make my stuff

>>7990333
It would have absolved me if I had a bodily defect.

I have knowingly ruined a perfectly good male body and its perfectly good reproductive capacity. As the only male-bodied heir to my bloodline, I've ruined the blood line and it was my conscious decision. Also I knew about the patriarchy, and its benefits it gave to me because I was socialized as a male, and was viewed by the majority as a male (albeit gay), I willingly gave up male privilege, and demoted myself to just being female (or an imitation thereof).

Now this body looks like the shadow of what I should have looked like. Also I was socialized as a male, so I wouldn't ever be fully female in soul.

Just a thing, trapped between being male and female.

And it's all my own fault.

>>7990333
For me, it's because I'm very proud and usually seen as someone who's mentally and emotionally strong among my peers. I know that having issues to work through is not necessarily incongruous with pride and ability but it still irks me that I get emotionally effected by something that most other people wouldn't understand. I like to think I'm in control of everything but I do logically understand that there are practical limits to control.

Not meeting other's expectations is part of life. No one gets their way 100% of the time. Not you or your parents.

You have no shame to feel at all. I'm about to be in college and start HRT, and I just came out completely. And i know that this path in life is what I want more than anything.

I know that I'm a woman, and just because biology failed me doesn't mean I feel any shame. My parents disappointed to have a daughter instead of a son? Well, they'll learn to live with that.

>>7990072
It would be funny to see 4chan with names. I feel like nowadays people can only be truly themselves if they are anonymous. If you have a name attached to your post, you have to guard your thoughts lest they persist forever in the permanent record of the Internet.

>>7990380
> It would be funny to see 4chan with names
It's called reddit. Learn to Internet, faggot!

>>7990333
Yeah, it's not our fault, but it's really hard for me to tell myself that when my mom acts as if my decision is killing her. I feel like every interaction with her is just driving the knife in deeper.

>>7989348
>I don't quite understand. Does that mean that AGP CD's tend to get used it?

Buddy, I can't even remember what AGP arousal feels like at this point.

>>7990754
How do you cope?