My Kink Problem. Pic Unrelated.

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So I have a problem. I'm very ok with my body and my sexuality. I like my Vag and I like my dicks, but always feminine. Problem is I always feel self conscious telling girlfriends this. (never actually met anyone with a penis I'd like to date yet)

I also like a butt ton of weird stuff, like I would really really like to have my arse fucked by a partner who loves me. Then after they are done flip them over and do the same to them.

I'd also like to fuck in latex at least once. Full on, all covering stuff.

Also like to do it in a fursuit. Shit like that, I'm weird.

I'd also rather weirdly like to fuck someone hard while they have chaos and Slaanesh symbols painted on them (I R nerd....)
Problem is outside of the bedroom I don't want this stuff. I just want a normal relationship with a down to earth person who will respect me and not be needy.

The problem I am having is that its so hard to tell if a potential partner will be into some kinky shit.

I had a problem with my previous girlfriend, we got on well and it was great....but when i tried to broach the subject about spicing things up (anal, Bjs etc.) she was completely against it. Kind of killed it for me as it just showed me she was completely against compromising. (I pushed something "normal" first, to see). Really turned me off her when she started berating me about even asking.

I don't have any trouble flirting or being charming, its just....I don't know if I should be upfront about being into kinky shit, or do what I did before and try and ease them into it? (I'm pretty sure I could convince someone open minded, she was quite shy and prudish)

Posting here because I'm not sure where else to put it, would get laughed off /b/. If there is another board this should go on tell me.