How do people date

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Sup /lgbt/, I need your help.
I'm genuinely confused about how people date. For reference, I grew up in a really conservative village in the middle of nowhere, Germany, and my father is a priest - which means I didn't come out until I was almost finished with high school.
I moved into a bigger city a year ago to get a college degree and I expected it to be super easy to find someone, but turns out living in the closet for so long has turned me into a socially inept mess and I've more or less spent the last year of my life as a shut in.
Every now and then I was able to force myself to go on parties with some people from college, but nothing ever came of it. I've also thought about using Grindr, but from what I've heard it's all about hook ups and casual sex, which isn't really what I'm looking for (I'd much rather be in a relationship with someone first and develope some trust before I start sleeping with them).
I'll be a 20 y/o kissless virgin soon and I feel like a failure. Everyone talking about relationships all the time makes me feel like an outcast and I'm really lonely. No one else seems to have much trouble finding a partner - it almost looks like something that just happens on its own without doing anything - but I'm just absolutely clueless and don't even know how or where to start meeting people. What am I doing wrong?