Trans Help General #137

>>7871486
I'm so confused i was off my medication for a few days had phantom breasts, depressed, on the verge of crying all day, shaved my legs and beard was convinced I'm trans. Back on medication, regret shaving beard don't care about being trans anymore. Trans feelings have come and gone many times in the past what do i do.

Posted in last thread. 25 yo male looking to be slightly more andro. Looking to get more feminine waist if possible without gaining breasts. Also looking to tone muscles in a feminine way and thin out and decrease body hair.. Specifically facial hair. Thanks for your help in advance /lgbt/

How do I help my Transitioning girlfriend feel more like a girl?

>>7872480
Those feelings going and coming back are pretty normal for trans people. speak to a gender therapist about it.

>>7872949
>feminine waist
>tone muscles
lose fat, do exercise

>decrease body hair
either laser or constand shaving

>>7873739
treat her like a normal girl? do something romantic.

today i filed a broken nail too far and it really hurts

help pls

>>7874680
Already do. I'm 5'11" and I weigh 150. Looking for specifics now

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>my choices are become a hon, suffer as a normal male, suffer as a feminine male with breasts and fucked up junk, or kill myself
This sucks, I want out.

>>7875630
>suffer as a normal male, suffer as a feminine male with breasts and fucked up junk
What's the problem with these?

>>7875634
The suffering, mostly.
Dysphoria for the former and dying alone as a waifish husk of a "man" with the latter.

>>7872480

>phantom breasts

I remember that feeling. So uncomfortable.

>>7874765

Why file a broken nail? Can't you put it in ice?

>>7875644
What exactly gets you dysphoric?

Why not find someone who likes waifish males?

>>7875667
>What exactly gets you dysphoric?
Pick a noun or a verb. Top 5 (composite intensity and frequency) are my genitals, my shoulder width, being called by my name or male pronouns, seeing women smaller than me, and my voice.
>Why not find someone who likes waifish males?
I'm not the kind of person who would do very well as a "femboy" in the realm of dating and such. I don't want to spend the rest of my days alone for something that only sorta helps my dysphoria.

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>>7871486
My game plan since coming to terms with the dysphoria (biological male) has kind of just been to repress it, but that's getting harder. The problem is I'm nervous about coming out openly as a trans girl because I'd be at a significant disadvantage, especially living in Florida. I'm also nervous about the possible side effects of HRT and would never be able to go under the knife for my dick to be hacked up. What should I do about the dysphoria? If I keep the dick out of fear of surgery, what'll happen to it on HRT? What'll happen to the rest of me? Will it significantly help me pass?

>>7875734
>My game plan since coming to terms with the dysphoria (biological male) has kind of just been to repress it,
Shitty move.
>but that's getting harder.
As expected.
>The problem is I'm nervous about coming out openly as a trans girl because I'd be at a significant disadvantage,
What do you mean by that?
>especially living in Florida.
You're in the US, you have every advantage. People in the UK are at a diaadvantage because of all the hoops they have to hump through to get HRT. People in Zimbabwe are at a disadvantage because they can't afford food much less HRT. People in Russia and Palestine are at a disadvantage because of the fucking stoning to death. You were born on the right soil, you're alright.
>I'm also nervous about the possible side effects of HRT and would never be able to go under the knife for my dick to be hacked up.
SRS is optional, especially considering how the results are less "I have a vagina!" and more "Well at least I don't have a penis."
>What should I do about the dysphoria?
Repress or HRT and repression doesn't work.
>If I keep the dick out of fear of surgery, what'll happen to it on HRT? What'll happen to the rest of me?
See >>7871486
>>What will hormones do?
>>mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
>Will it significantly help me pass?
Maybe. Depends on age and genetics. After puberty HRT alone is usually not enough and you'll need surgery to pass if you ever do. Passing is even harder these days with transgender awareness, some cis women are accused of being trans. Passing shouldn't be a goal for most transwomen because frankly they can't. Reducing dysphoria is the goal.

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>>7875798
Thanks for all the info. I doubt I'll be transitioning. It's a great way to lose a ton of friends, get thrown out of home, and spend a shitload of money I don't have.
pic related: it's the cheaper cure for dysphoria

>>7875866
As you wish.
See you again in two years.

>>7875798
>Repress or HRT and repression doesn't work.
HRT might not fix it and "repression" of a kind might work.

>>7875866
The real problem with transition is what it means for your body, not the social side.

Don't "repress" and "man up", just be as feminine as you want to be without transition.

>>7875894
I dress in female clothing when I can, but living at home makes it difficult to get the necessary privacy. Luckily, if all goes well, I'll be getting a place with a couple of friends in a few months.

>>7875734
Sauce

I've been comfortable as a man since I was born, but when i turned 18 I left my house for a month and traveled over Europe and finally came to terms with possibly being trans; but since ive come home I've started repressing really hard as my family wont support it. I have felt since before maturity that being a male was in some way incorrect (I don't really know how to describe it beyond that) but it really hurts now that I'm repressing, and I've fallen into a really deep slump of depression. So i guess I'm Questioning, but im not sure. Do you have any ideas about this??

>>7875927
I think the pic is Mogi from Initial D. She never actually said that in the show.

>>7875866
You don't need to come out to anybody. At worst you may need to alter you clothing slightly if you get noticeable breasts.

I'm really confused. I want to present as male and sometimes get called "he" without trying to pass...I want thick body hair and a masculine voice but I'm scared of explaining this to a doctor because I'm not sure I'm really trans? I also don't want the hassle of telling family (I'm 26 so its not like I live under my parents roof but still..
)

>>7877092
There is no "really trans"! Just a decision on whether transition is worth it or not!

>>7877098
I've been presenting male for about six years so it's definitely not a passing idea...but the thought of going to a doctor and talkingn about it freaks me the fuck out. But my body dysmorphia is getting really bad and can't stand to look at my tits or girly thighs. I tell people I go to the gym to get fit but its just so I can make my body look more male. I really don't know what to do

>>7877159
The question is whether the snags of HRT and any parts of masculinization that you don't like are worth it for the body hair, masculine voice and stopping the body dysmorphia that way.

Top surgery for the tits is a separate choice from the HRT.

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Is the non penile inversion Thai method actually superior to what top US surgeons have to offer, or is that just a meme? My insurance will cover surgeons in the US, so I'd rather not leave if I can.

>>7877219
That's what I'm thinking. I could be ok with just top surgery but then I might think "well what am I now?"
Like even if I did go through with hormones would I still be dissatisfied bc I don't have a dick or something stupid?

And like....I think "if I really wanted to be a dude, I wouldn't be agonising over it, i
I'd go straight to the doctors for hormone therapy"???

I feel pretty messed up guys :(

Is there any way of increasing testosterone without resorting to hrt? Natural supplements, for example? Or am I retarded for even asking?

CD here.
I'm muscular as fuck (bench 240 lbs 1 rep max) , 5'7" 140~145 lbs but have a nice feminine face that can be passable if I shave and do the makeup and stuff.

I've been considering getting breastforms for awhile, I feel like I'm missing part of the package without the tits.

Where should I get my forms from? I have chest muscle so forms with a flat back would be weird.

>>7877561
Red meat and egg yolks. Won't stick too well without a male endocrine system though.

Consider buying some of those vials the absolutely huge guy at the gym is selling out of his locker if HRT is really not an option.

Why do I purposely look at images that will trigger my dysphoria? Is this normal? Do cis people do this about their issues?

>>7879232
> Do cis people do this about their issues?
no
>Why do I purposely look at images that will trigger my dysphoria?
because then you know it's real

>>7877318
Dunno about the us surgeons but I've heard of quite a few cases where people with PI ended up with only 12cm depth.
I guess if you are a transbian it doesn't matter but if you like guys and you don't have a monster penis I'd look into Thai srs.

>>7879232
It's completely normal. It's the same reason we watch scary movies and click on ISIS decapitation videos

Lately I have been noticing how insanely girl-like I actually am. I dont wear bra's or start putting on parfume or anything, but well I act so girly sometimes that when I chat (online) to people they ask wether I am actually a girl or not. I love like acting like a cute girl when im alone and sometimes I tell people online im girl anyway so I can be whoever I want to be, I even got a crush on a guy while im not gay in any way (Yeah sorry didnt want to be that guy but happend).

I really feel like changing my gender to a girl but I am still a bit guy like, technically like a tomboy. I know this sounds weird, but guns and games were part of my childhood and there are other girls liking such stuff. So can you be both a tomboy and a transgender girl?

Sidenote: I wont go into any opperations before im out of puberty tho:3 plus, keep in mind these aren't all the agruments for me wanting to change my gender there are plenty more.

>>7881820
>So can you be both a tomboy and a transgender girl?
yes

>>7881820
>I wont go into any opperations before im out of puberty tho:3
regret i 3... 2... 1...

>>7882003
seeing as puberty happens in teens and surgery is possible at 18, not really much different if he does it on his 20th.

>>7881998
Thanks :)

Hello, I'm not trans but my friend is. What are some possible things I can say or do to make her feel better about herself when she's upset?
thanx

I want to talk to a gender therapist to sort things out with myself but I'd have to talk to my parents about it for that to happen. I can't really afford one, so I'd have to use the families medical insurance, which I'm still on (18, turn 19 in June). I'm just terrified of having to tell my parents...I'm worried I'll be a disappointment to them. What should I do? Just bite the bullet and do it?

>>7884025
Hug her, smile at her, make her feel loved
>>7886986
Depends on how tolerant your parents are. I'd say go for it

how do i get rid of my body hair. if i shave or use cream it just grows back

>>7887601
Laser/IPL or electrolysis. Same as for facial hair.

When do you know if dsyphoria is real or not? I live my life as male, albeit not much of one. I routinely only wear jackets, hats, and sweatpants because other clothes I hate myself in. I don't believe that to be dsyphoria its more when I try to express my feminine side. Anything on that side I hate being seen as a male for, I get depressed just imagining wearing clothes that I like that arent masc and still being seen as a man. I hate my body for not being fem, but only when I'm not being my typical male self. Idk im just conflicted and confused in general

>>7889152
>when do i know if dysphoria is real or not
if you ask this the answer is probably its not real, but i will say dysphoria does kinda come and go in waves
if that answer isn't enough for you then get a gender therapist, they will help you sort it out

>>7889331
Thx, I've noticed it comes in waves but I just dom't know if its worth transitioning over

>>7889555
better to transition now instead of during a midlife crisis i suppose, but seriously talk to a therapist if youre worried

>>7889665
Wish I could shit is expensive for a broke ass college student

>>7880655
I'm bi but I lean towards guys, and my penis is 8 in. while erect. I guess I should be good with an NA surgeon like Bowers/Mcginn/Brassard then?

>>7890257
Yeah, mine is 6 in and my surgeon said it was more than enough for a good depth. They measure it flaccid though, erect mode does not count for length for srs.

Came out to my psychologist, they're booking an appointment with a psychiatrist. Anything in particular i should tell them tobe taken seriously? I'm back on medication so kinda repressing again and that makes me worried that the lack of conviction will stop me getting on hrt.

>Finally get an appointment at gender clinic
>It's a group session where a bunch of us can ask questions
>Go along because I'm an idiot
>In waiting room before the session starts, waiting for the changing room to free up
>some freak who didn't even bother to shave that day waddles out of the changing room wearing a blouse so small that his gut is hanging out, along with some fucking bordello madame skirt
>I just ignore them, go into the changing room
>It fucking stinks of B.O
>Session starts
>Freak sits infront of me so I have to smell their odour the whole day
>Freak instantly mentions that they are autistic and that he wants the lights switched off
>Now I cant fucking see anything written on the whiteboard
>Any time the therapist running the session goes onto a different topic the autist somehow always finds a way to bring up their fucking autism
>Break for lunch
>Have to listen to autist discuss the subtle nuances of Dr Who and kpop with the person they're sat next to

This more than anything made me wish I wasn't trans. Disappointing my parents, and increased potential of getting punched in the street have got nothing on having to share a gender identity with this disgusting sack of shit. I honestly hope that cunt gets hatecrimed in an alley. Is this a normal reaction? Should I avoid group sessions from now on? I don't mind having to be in a group with a bunch of hons, it's just freaks like that.

>>7894861
hon hate is pretty normal. Group sessions are infamous for being bad.

>>7895427
There were a few hons at this group session, and while they blatantly didn't pass they were pretty chill and weren't obnoxious and didn't stink up the place

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>>7892541
>more than enough

your future boyfriends are not going to be able to go balls deep

http://www.manhuntdaily.com/manhunt-asks-states-smallest-hands-trumps-america/

>>7871486
Can anyone explain what cone tits are and how to not get them? Is it how when the boob is coming in it doesn't seem to have the same shape as female breasts?

I was under the impression that would change as the breasts developed, but do they not develop fully for most people?

>>7880655
well shit. i liked that i only have a micropeen until now :c

>>7880655
what difference does being cut make?

>tfw scrub body raw every night
>tfw mom still insists i smell
>tfw t

I just feel disgusting all the time. more than usual, I mean. why does she just keep telling me this? I clean myself obsessively. it's just what happens to 19 year old male bodies.

;_;

>>7897505
Tell your mom that she is hurting your feelings and making you depressed and that if she continues you're going to kill yourself.
That would probably make her stop.

>>7897369
Cone tits are weirdly shaped breasts, possibly not entirely well developed. Just google "tubular breasts" for images.

It seems that improper HRT, especially too much estrogen dosages, causes it. But it can also be genetics (some cis girls have this problem also), and maybe starting age of HRT (if you start at 30+, you'll probably won't have very good results of HRT, including improper breasts development).

>>7897505
>every night
Maybe shower in the morning instead?

Start wearing deoderant, antiperspirant, even maybe a cologne?

>>7897556
Threatening to kill yourself over mom complaining about his smell would just make him look incredibly fragile. It's fine to tell her it hurts his feelings but jesus fucking christ.

>>7897667
I do. I just don't flense my skin in the morning.

>>7897699
Then it isn't your bed, so it must be your sweat. Time to get a good male antiperspirant or start wearing a cologne.

Also don't keep doing that to your skin, it's not a better wash. Scrub the normal way, just be thorough.

>>7897587
>Just google "tubular breasts" for images.
Oh wew, apparently I don't have cone tits. Glad I don't have to worry about that.

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I'm not on hormones yet but I'm mentally ready to start taking them, however I'm slightly overweight (BMI 27.4) and I'm currently losing weight and already lost quite a bit. I've read up a bit, and it seems like the results will be much better if im not a lard when I start taking them. However I'm also only 18 which is like not a bad age to start hormones so what I'm wondering is should I start hormones now that I'm 18 or potentially delay it with a year or more to lose weight?

>>7897907
Lol at first I tought this was your pic but then you said your BMI is 27. FYI the healthy range is 18-25 so you're not so bad. I'd suggest losing some weight, and keep a target BMI of ~21-22. Also keep in mind that the hardest part is keeping your weight thereafter, and maintaining an healthier lifestyle.

As for starting HRT, it depends on how access is easy where you live. Can you get them via informed consent or not? Do you live in a gatekeeping country like some places in europe? And anyway at your age, (if you don't have very bad genetics) waiting a couple of years probably wont make a big difference, but yeah, the sooner the better.

>>7897587
>if you start at 30+, you'll probably won't have very good results of HRT, including improper breasts development
karma for me for repressing so long.

>>7897952
No I live in Sweden so I'll have to order from qhi or something. They gatekeep like crazy, it will take like a year before I'll even get to talk to them. Probably 2-3 years to get HRT.

>>7898308
Oh really? It sucks :(

Hi anons, recently I got my bloodwork done after being prescribed a higher dose of HRT for over a month (currently on 100mg Spiro a day, 50mg in morning 50mg at night, and 6mg Estradiol, 3mg in morning 3mg at night.)
these were the results i got back:
TESTOSTERONE (NG/DL) 143
SEX HORM BIND GLOBULIN (NMOL/L) 84.5
CALC FREE TESTOSTERONE (NG/DL) 1.4
ESTRADIOL (PG/ML) 106.0
Now after looking at http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/hrt_ref.htm I realized my T levels were still a bit higher then they should be, should I be worried about this enough to the point that I should ask my endo to up my dose? I talked to her about it and she said I should be fine and considering she upped my dosage of estradiol like i said above about a month ago I'm inclined to believe her, is it possible though she might be memeing me and I do in fact need to be on a higher dosage of Spiro or estradiol? Please help. Also i've been on HRT for almost 8 months.

>>7898382
and I'm inclined to* sorry really tired.

>be me
>19
>MtF
>want to start HRT
>live in Texas
>all the informed consent providers on the list are either no longer providing or are too far away
>don't want to self medicate
Wat do?

>>7898420
>all the informed consent providers on the list
which list?

>>7898500
The one on every /mtfg/ thread. Even the Planned Parenthoods in TX don't provide HRT. ;-;

>>7898557
Oh it sucks. Maybe they are other informed consent providers not listed in this document (it hasn't been updated in a while). You may try contacting your local LGBT groups. That's what I did, and this way I found a few others new IC clinics.

Also you could check if they have therapist to get HRT the old fashioned way. If they have good one it will not be that much different than informed consent.

>>7898593
I have a therapist and he's definitely not a gatekeeper. How would I go about doing it the "old fashioned way?" I've done so much research into IC that I haven't actually looked into other ways lol.

>>7898606
If you have a good therapist just ask him to write you a letter for HRT. He could also help you find a doctor/endo to prescribe you hormones (not sure how exactly it works, it depends on the location), anyway he would help you get started on hrt.

>>7898623
Is it seriously that simple? Everything I've read makes it seem like it takes forever to get approved for HRT.

>>7898633
For some people/places, it's that simple, for some other it's not. You'll have to do it to know how easy/hard it is. Anyway, good luck :)

>>7898643
Thanks for the help :)

>>7897475
for thai surgeons it doesn't matter, for penile inversion you have a little less skin to work with.

>>7899210
how can it not matter?

how much difference does that much less skin mean?

>>7897907
It seriously triggers me when people come here asking whether they should start HRT before or after losing weight. If you're not so obese that it's actually dangerous to your health to start HRT (which you have to be pretty fucking fat for), then obviously it's not worth waiting. Do you want to be permanently more masculinised than you already are and delay the progress you do make just so you temporarily get slightly better fat distribution? How can you be okay with that if you're in a state where you want to transition? It doesn't even matter since your fat will redistribute anyway.

You're barely even in the "overweight" BMI range. And you're 18. Just start the fucking HRT.

>>7899223
thai surgeons use a different technique where they can get good depth even with smaller penises/less skin.

I'm not sure how much difference being cut makes as i'm uncircumcised so i never bothered to ask my surgeon. Search around on the internet i guess/

What's a good shaving method for somebody who's never shaved before? (Genitals, legs, chest area)

>>7900645
do it under the shower

>>7899499
>as i'm uncircumcised so i never bothered to ask my surgeon.
I've seen it claimed that US surgeons waste the extra skin on uncut mtfs because they are used to inverting cut girls.

>>7900645
Get in the shower, soap yourself up real good and use a good moisturiser after if the skin isn't used to being shaved or it'll be dry and end up getting razor burn

What methods are best for transitioning? Hormone shots, medication, pads?

>>7898308
>gatekeep like crazy
no they don't
source: me, a swede

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I don't want to be trans. I want to be a normal girl and would rather be a normal boy than a tranny. Why do people say only becoming a disgusting hon will ease dysphoria in those doomed to never pass? That can't possibly be true. I know the trans suicide rate is high for a reason but it'd be 98% if that were true.

>dysphoria near constantly
>trans shit occupying my mind basically all day, minus when i'm totally swamped at work
>both dysphoria and trans thoughts got bad enough to make me suicidal a few months ago
>both still present, but not bad enough to get me that low again
>start feeling like it was an idea i latched on to to scapegoat my problems and am just convincing myself i'm feeling actual dysphoria
I know the 'dysphoria comes in waves' meme but fuck, it'd be easier to feel confident i was trans if it were more constant. /lgbt/ being fucking cancer doesn't make it any easier to draw my own conclusions.

I'm a bio male and I want to do HRT. I'm trying to figure out if my "motivations" are right before I talk to someone or go through any transition.

I'm asexual so I'm not trying to feel more comfortable being sexual with anyone.

The most cross dressing I've ever done is wearing female t-shirts in public like 2 times. I don't think I'm androgynous but I've been mistaken for female a few times through the years, and people often assume I'm gay because they think I looked and/or acted that way.

I don't like my body, I've never looked in the mirror and thought "that's me". I've never felt strongly towards being either gender but I know I would be happy as a female and not a male.

I don't know if my personality would change or be "free" at all, or if I would act more girly. I know I would at least actually take care of my body since I would be comfortable in it.

A lot of this seems in conflict or in a gray area from the reasoning I've observed from researching this, which is why I'm questioning myself. Sorry if any of this is obvious or insensitive, this is the first time I've felt dysphoria strong enough to look into this.

>>7904825
Why would you be happier female?

>>7903017
It still takes a long time before you get HRT if it's similar how it's in Finland, then they have huge waiting times for: laser, voice therapy/surgery and srs(you have an option to do it in Sweden too so guess the waiting line is shorter there, but I've heard it's even more of an hatchet job than the finnish surgeon) i guess it's worth the wait because it's pretty much free.

Is it too late to transition well at 19? Should I give up?

>>7905465

depends on genetics.
started at almost 20 and pass now, 2.5years hrt and post ffs

>>7898382

T is a bit too high yes.
get bloodwork done soon again, if it's still too high, maybe consider switching to cypro.

Any pro tips for hiding breasts? I'm not going full time yet.

>>7871486
how do i support trans rights and be ftm without being an annoying tumblr faggot

>>7871486
will i still have a chance on grindr if im ftm?

>>7906142
yes

one month off the skittles and my skin is greasy, I stink, and I can't help but look at porn all the fucking time

I hate this
I don't know what to do

>>7905499
>post ffs
lol

>>7906195
ur doing it wrong

>>7906201
doing what wrong
I don't even know what game I'm losing

>>7906195
Why are you off them?

>>7906216
I decided I wasn't trans
people on this board confirmed it

>>7906196
You gotta do what you gotta do

>>7906220
Femboys take HRT nowadays too. And you don't seem to like effects of testosterone.

>>7906228
I don't, but I can't just take female hormones instead

and what the hell is a femboy?
you mean gays? I'm not gay

>>7906236
Why not? If it makes you feel good, what's the harm? Unless you want children.

Some of them are bi and even straight.

>>7906196

Everyone needs ffs after puberty has hit you duh

>>7906236
Sounds like you should visit femgen. There are combinations of hormonoes and blockers you can take that don't give you breasts. I don't know how it works but its very common over there

>>7906250
I don't hate my body
hrt would fuck it up

I did a few months just to see if it would alleviate the issues I have, and unfortunately it did

>>7906256
I'm not sure about fucking around with meds
I might cause serious damage

>>7906134
Keep your hair its natural colour for a start.

Does aging scare anyone else here? I'm mtf pre-hrt 22 right now but terrified that my life expectancy will be limited. How long do the feminizing effects of hrt last before you start looking like a man again?

Would like to know because I want to grow old without dying from suicide or health related issues and this makes me feel like transition is completely pointless.

I've almost completely talked myself out of transitioning but I keep coming back for more.

>>7906263
>I don't hate my body
>my skin is greasy, I stink, and I can't help but look at porn all the fucking time
>I hate this
?

>>7906275
Yes
I don't hate my body
I hate the effects of T on my body

I would NOT be happy with tits and hips

>>7906281
>tits
Preventable, check /femgen/
>hips
You won't get any if you started post-puberty.

>>7906286
this stuff is expensive
and I'm a dvt risk

I don't think it's worth it

>>7906251
I guess i just got really lucky that people often mistook me for my sister pre-hrt, laser is the only one that people need everything else depends on genetics.

>>7906271
The "feminizing effects of hrt" will last as long as you take HRT.

>>7906436
At that age you belong to the 1% tho.

I'm pretty sure my mom saw my estrofem (out of the box but in the round thingy) how fucked am I?

>>7907204
Not fucked at all unless she does something about it.

>>7906436
>mfw don't even need laser
everything depends on genetics

>>7907204
Depends on your mom and how sure you are, I guess? Why would anyone here know better than you?

>>7906271
>how long do the feminizing effects of hrt last
>thinks estrogen suddenly makes you look like a man
women start looking like men because of menopause and their estrogen levels are lower than that of a fertile female

>>7907383
I mean how easy is it too guess what it is for?

>Be me
>Turning 16 in August
>Had weird thoughts that parents asked the doctors to make me a boy instead when i was born when i was very very young (aka under 5)
>Kept on thinking it
>Had mostly girl friends
>Was about seven
>Visited a friend, tried some of her dresses, liked it, a lot. felt more like me
>Did it several times when i was at her place. Parents didn't see
>Never felt ok. Never felt that i was being myself
>Move to new place at 11. Make new friends. Mostly girls there too.
>Related more to girls than boys (Always did, even today)
>Puberty starts later. start having lots of mental trouble. Depression, anxiety etc.
>Still have nice friends, so i felt ok some of the time. Cut myself when shit was too bad. Tried to stay away from it
>Move back to old place at 13
>No friends
>Become even more depressed and anxious. Never being social. My body still doesn't feel like it's truly mine.
>Skip 2 years ahead.
>Still no friends. Hate my parents. People being dickheads all the time at school (Bullying?). I don't fit in. People call me gay.
>Been one year clean, scars are almost gone.
>Want to fucking hang myself.

I'm still not sure if i'm mtf. feels like it. Heard some people freak out by being the opposite gender. I find it appealing, not in a sexualized way.
What do?

>>7907560
Fuck. I meant "Heard some freak out by THE IDEA OF being the opposite gender.

>>7907419
Well if they know it's oestrogen then very easy. If they just saw what the tablets looked like but not the name of the drug it doesn't really suggest anything, though you should prepare for an awkward confrontation about it.

Honestly I don't think most normies even consider the idea of self-medicating HRT, so even if you did have signs that would lead them to think you're trans they wouldn't connect the drugs to it and figure it out.

>>7907560
Sounds like typical trans stuff to me.

Ask to be put on puberty blockers until you figure yourself out? The rough part for MTFs is that you're on a ticking clock against puberty.

>>7907590
Okay thanks senpai!

>>7907599
Problem is, i'm a coward. And my voice is already fucked.

As for my build. I'm tall. 6", and about 60 kilos in weight. I wouldn't consider myself to be much masculine looking.

>>7907644
voice is never fucked and can always be trained

Call 0409488820

>>7904912
Sorry for the late reply, it's difficult enough to speak about this anonymously online I don't know how I'm going to convince a stranger to give me meds.

I would be happier female because it would just make me feel better about life and more confident with myself. I've been depressed off and on and increasingly worse since I was 11 (19 now) which I realize now is the "waves of dysphoria" talked about here. This is the most I've ever cared about something which isn't saying much, but I think it would set a precedent for me to increase my quality of life.

I didn't even know what HRT was until recently, otherwise I would have acted on this much sooner. In high school health class they showed us a documentary about a 40 something year old spending thousands of dollars on plastic surgery and a gential change in thailand, which made me think that's what transsexualism was.

>>7907257
I guess but most males will develop that nasty mustache shadow even asians.

>>7907823
Actually tempted

I've been really worried about suicide lately, does anyone have experience with having to go to the hospital while self-medding? I would guess they wouldn't let me keep taking my pills, but idk.

>>7912620
If you go because you're suicidal, they're going to take everything from you, including your phone in most cases.

>>7912630
But aren't there withdrawal symptoms for things like cyproterone?

>>7912652
Yeah, but if you don't have a prescription, they aren't going to give it to you. They won't give illegal drugs to you either just because they have withdrawal effects.
Most hospitals will hold you for 72 hours and only do the bare minimum to keep you from killing yourself. It's not really that good an option.

>>7912668
I see, thank you for the info. Guess I'll just try to fight it myself

I'm a 18 year old male that feels like they might be trans. About a year ago I think is when I actually realized I might be trans but the more I think about it the more I realize the signs I showed earlier in life that I missed/suppressed. My biggest worry now is that 18 is too old to transition, I've never really looked into this stuff before so I'm completely clueless on when most trans people start their transition.
Sorry if I'm not very clear, like I said I've never talk about this so I'm not sure how to say the things I want to say.

>>7912814
are you memeing. lmao start already asshat

>>7912814
You'll probably get memelords telling you that 18 is too late soon, so here- it's not, but if you wait a ton longer, it will be. Get on as soon as you can so you have a chance in hell. I waited until 19 and I'm getting there, 8 months in.

I have the number of a supposedly great trans health clinic
the few people who know I'm trans are urging me to call and get an appointment already
I have no reason not to
but I'm sitting here with the phone in my hand and the thought of actually moving forward on this is scaring the fuck out of me
please help

I feel like I would transition in a heartbeat if I would really be a woman at the end of it or at least not be a looked down on for being trans and unpassing. Since I am trans I should transition right? But it seems like transition won't give me what I want, so I clearly shouldn't transition. But dysphoria can only get worse and since I'm already past the point of ever passing I can only end up killing myself or accepting being a hon. But I'll kill myself if I become a hon too. So I should take HRT but not really transition. But then I'll still be looked down upon for being trans and end up being obviously trans and not "pass" as either gender. I don't see any way out of this.

>>7917529
just soft transition and see where it takes you, its easy enough to hide the effects of hrt and worst case scenario you can be a gnc boy and best case maybe one day with enough effort you can pass as a girl. That or you can continue to age as a man, which it seems like you don't want to do.

>>7915240
call them, its the best thing you will ever do. The rest is just going along for the ride.

>>7917529
how do you know you wont pass? and dont give me that shit like your 7 feet tall and have a chin that can cut through steel.

What happens with ejaculate after you've had srs? I've had several "wet dreams" but I don't know what's up.

>>7917529
Every tranny wants to be a cis member of the opposite sex. Also that other anon was right you won't actually know if you'll pass unless your proportions are monstrous. /lgbt/ is a very negative place and will convince you that you don't pass even when you do.

However even if your scenario is completely true it can't hurt to try hrt for a while and then decide if you should socially transition or not. HRT has a way of making you more comfortable with yourself so that maybe you'll have an easier time dealing with life's other pains. Kind of like how autists get fewer symptoms once you treat their comorbid gluten intolerance.

>>7926166
>I've had several "wet dreams" but I don't know what's up.
What happened?

Today I measured myself and got like 67~cm waist and 40~cm shoulder width,after a little bit more than a month on HRT,are these too bad?

>>7926975
38 cm indeed,soz

>>7926202
Quite sure I had an involuntary orgasm. But I don't understand where the ejaculate is supposed to go. I still have a prostate so there should be some.

>>7919773
managed to call them today. 6-8 month waitlist.
At least it's more time to try and lose weight before getting on titty skittles.

>>7929524
I have heard a transparent liquid can come out of the urethra,similar to precum but not the same,and just in a little quantity

>>7929533
Hell yeah, I just called and am waiting to hear back. Good luck, pal.

>>7931156
Where is my urethra?

>>7932194
its where your piss comes out of.

>>7932194
You know,wherever the surgeon places it,usually wherever it can look more like a realistic vag?If someone is nice enough and post the srs galleries you can take a look at it,or you can search some pics on the net

>>7871486
How much does mtf hrt affect your buttocks?

Thanks.

been off/on hormones due to life issues, but just started taking them again. past few days, my nipples ocassionally feel like they are pinching themselves at various times throughout the day. loving it. honestly can't wait until i get more feelings, even the often claimed boob hurts.

Can a few days hurt with starting transition? Was supposed to talk to a therapist I could ask about trans stuff yesterday but due to stupid circumstances we won't be able to talk until monday. I feel really anxious because I'm at stage of puberty where I'll likely have actual beard growth and chest hairs soon (not yet though, I just get slowly fuzzier on my chin). I
m not out yet so its really scary whether I'll transition or not.

>>7934394
It affected mine quite a bit. I felt like a baboon. And I got stretch marks all over the buttocks and thighs due to the quick expansion.

>>7934878
You're only going to talk about it? He won't prescribe you anything? You should be getting on HRT asap because removing facial hair is the worst and it's expensive(for you or the state).

A few days is nothing, though.

>>7935728
That's very impressive. At what point did these changes become apparent? 6 months? 1 year?

How much would you say you increased, 2 inches? More?

Sorry if it's too inquisitive, it's just that I'm curious since I've seen plenty of information regarding breast size, but not as much for buttock size.

Thanks.

>>7935914
not that anon my but my butt grew 1.2 inches in the first year. Second year i don't know yet, haven't measured yet. My starting point was already a kind of girly butt so visually it doesn't really look different to me. I do have dat ass in skinny jeans though.

>>7932205
Wait, sperm comes out of the same tube that men pee from? I thought it came from a different tube just underneath it.

>>7931156
The same transparent liquid that come out of post-hrt penises?

>>7937189
Yeah,its kind of the same thing,the only use it has is lubing things up,but as we dont have the same glands as a cis women,it just comes out of the urethra

What's a good way to drop hints? I've alluded to a problem to my mum, but I can't just outright spit it out.

>>7937263
I would firstly be sure she is not transphobic,if you know she isnt, and cant tell her directly,you could look at women clothes when you are with her,maybe acting girlier?Thats what I did,except I didnt check the first thing and things went really bad

>>7937307
>except I didnt check the first thing and things went really bad
greentext

>>7937307
Pretty sure she isn't. Can't say for sure, but I know I won't get a violent reaction or anything. I know my brother isn't transphobic.
Not sure if the looking at clothes will work. I helped her out at a stall selling women's clothes, so she'd probably just assume it relates to that. Maybe I could say which ones I like.

>>7937327
Sure,why not?
>Be me,13, didn't really care for gender things
>Discover trans is actually a thing cuz porn,still no shits given
>Voice starts changing, Adam's apple growing
>Whoa WTF stop with that
>Getting anxious over it, then when months pass I just try to repress whatever it was
>Be me again,17, it was Christmas, and I went Paris with all my family
>In one of the nights I was at the hotel, before sleeping, a friend texted me saying he thought he might be trans (isn't, in case someone is wondering)
>That makes me think of myself in that sense too
>Eventually get to know I'm really trans, decide to stop repressing
>Of course, I wanted to have HRT ASAP, so I knew I had to tell parents so that I could start going to a theraphist and all that shit
>Be deppresed about it for like a week or so
>There was nothing I wanted to do, but stay in bed and get more depressed
>Eventually parents notice and start thinking I was into drugs (lol) so they wanted to talk with me
>After shaking in pure anxiousness for I while, I tell them,crying
>My father hit me at least twice
>They both were asking a lot of questions I didnt have an answer for
>So all I got from that was some bruises and an appointment with my medic
>Medic sends me to a psychiatrist
>Psychiatrist sends me to theraphist
>Go to her appointments for more than half a year
>In the end, my parents had to go kind of to "confirm" all I did with her
>All they did was lie so that I could not get HRT
>Almost got a schizoid personality disorder diagnosed when it was totally clear it wasnt
>Stop going with theraphist or I would have gotten that diagnosis
>Get even more depressed
>Not too long later I discover there is something similar to informed consent,only available in my city
>Decide to try and go for it in secret
>Parents know because hospital sent a letter with my appoinment data and opened it
>They want to look reasonable and decide to let me go
1/2

>>7937501
>But one of them is coming with me
>Fuck
>Basically I told my father to get out when I got asked for my trans story
>Got asked if parents support me
>Haha no
>Told him yes,so that I wouldn't get HRT denied
>Got a few appoinments for a few blood and bone tests, everything is ok
>Would get HRT 5 months after that
>During that time my father faked crying and panic attacks so that I would stop
>HAHA NO
>The last appoinment comes and I get my HRT recipe
>When I get home I get asked about what happened there
>I tell them the truth as the fool that I am
>Father gets a "little" talk with me, basically says I'm no woman, will never be, I'm just a freak, blah blah blah
>Get forbidden to take HRT
>Thats what you'd wish, my dear fools
>Go into the nearest pharmacy
>Buy HRT
>Present
>Im 1 month and a half in
>Tits already growing
>Im becoming so feminine and feeling so good
>Dunno what will happen whenever they catch me tho...
2/2

>>7937509
>>Get forbidden to take HRT
Is this even legal?

>>7937969
Its not,i could even report then to the authorities if i wanted to and win...but i still live in their house,and they threatened me with kicking me out of here a lot of times,i dont want to be homeless,even if authorities forbid them kicking me, they will make my life a hell

>>7938006
Good that you're on top of the situation.

>>7938031
I'm not really in control of this, they have been near to catch me at least twice,and even if they didnt, they will find out soon just by taking a look at me...other problem is that no matter how much hormones I take, I wont be able to have a girl mode until i get out of here, and it wont be soon.The last thing is my father obligues me to work,and as it is a job where I need to treat with high society I can't really get my hair as long as I want,not the shortest either,still,it kills me.

>>7937501
>All they did was lie so that I could not get HRT
How did they lie?

>Almost got a schizoid personality disorder diagnosed when it was totally clear it wasnt
>Stop going with theraphist or I would have gotten that diagnosis
How could you have gotten diagnosed without the symptoms?

>>79382220
They basically told the theraphist that I am a living piece of meat with no emotions,no friends,and no nothing,she believed them over me cause potato,and summed that with the fact that I was shy to tell her my stuff,as the only people who knew were a few friends and her,and,I think its normal,that when you have to tell something this important you can be shy,and have doubts

Quoted the wrong way,lel

>>7938222

I need some advice,is there a way I can get "comfortable" with my penis until I get SRS? I just can't hold it anymore...

Today I woke up with a morning wood,isnt that supposed to be impossible if you are on cypro?lol

>>7941006
maybe you had lewd dreams.
I get hard easily if I think about sexy stuff

>>7938831
No more than you can get comfortable with your beard or your big shoulders or whatever else causes you gender dysphoria. In the same way, you just have to try not to touch it or look at it or think about it.

It sometimes helps me to fetishise it and roleplay as a cute "trap" that actually likes having a penis, but that doesn't really work for long, and probably only works at all because I'm AGP. It's really just another way of distracting myself from thinking about how much having a penis (and to a greater extent how much not having a vagina) bothers me, and once I become aware of that the whole delusion collapses and I probably end up feeling even worse, but it seems better overall. Thinking of it as a "girlcock" or some other inane and kind of fetishistic thing sort of helps in the same way too.

When I was younger, I very much wanted to understood as a girl. Upon informing my parents about this, my father physically beat it into me that any "boy who wanted to be a girl" (his terms) was headed straight to Hell and I was not to become one of "those people." It probably didn't help that we were a racial minority in our country at the time at the time and religion was one of the few ways our family held onto their identity. I'm much older now, and out of that situation. But it is much too late for me.

But every now and then I feel the need to vomit this shit out of me. I aplogize for blogposting in your nice thread, as I never come into /lgbt/ and am unfamiliar with the customs. I hope you all have a good day.

I've seen heaps of differing opinions lately surrounding Pueraria Mirifica and I want to hear some first hand stories from people who have tried it.

/mtfg/ says it's a joke but I've read elsewhere that it's a godsend.

I've only very recently discovered that I may be trans and I don't want to get into stuff like Cypro or Estrofem yet, is Pueraria Mirifica a good place to start feminising?

is the skull meme real? emma watson has pretty prominent orbital rims right?

>>7941006
could also be that you drank (water) too much the night before. dick tends to boner when it needs to pee too.

>>7941470
herbals are shit and will cost your a lot for no feminization.

>>7877092
>>7877159
If you're not sure then a therapist is supposed to help you figire things out. It's obscene that you've gone this long without getting on T or even talking to someone about it.

I am a man just past my mid twenties, as a child I loved gymastcs, dancing and singing, I remember cross dressing before my teen years and I remember being happy then. When my teens hit I started to be miserable and have been ever since, I took up all male pursuits and tried to be happy despite a deep self loathing. It never worked, I have 'episodes'(as my wife calls them) every few months. I break down, cry, drink and I cant bear to look in the mirror without being disgusted with what I see (despite being described as pretty handsome by all around me) I learned about trans issues at college and was horribly put off by the LGBT people I met(i am pretty damm right wing) though I did have a trans professor who I looked up to, have I been repressing like fuck all these years am I trans...I dont really want to go to my GP.

>>7942170
What triggers your episodes? Have you tried enjoying feminine pursuits and crossdressing again?

>i am pretty damm right wing
What views?

>>7942170
>was horribly put off by the LGBT people I met
I'm sorry about this. I know what you mean.

>I dont really want to go to my GP.
There's not way around this unless you want to continue the way you've been doing. Remember that you don't have to make any decisions just yet, you can just talk to someone and feel things out a bit.

>>7942170
>pretty handsome

what would freud say?

>>7942197

Dont know what triggers my episodes, just go into a deep depression filled with self loathing, cant stand looking at the fashion blogs(womens) and things I usually enjoy, drink a lot spend my free time alone etc

I have tried cross dressing, latex especially(a new skin...) and have spent afternoons just being myself at home, which is comforting, But the wife isnt a fan, she is generally supportive but she doesnt like me in full womens clothes. She doesnt mind some goth makeup and slightly feminine clothing but full cross dressing is an issue for her.

I am just very conservative, which conflicts with the majority of the LGBT society members I met, I would say something pretty standard(eg. border controls should be stringent) and get my head ripped off and end up a pariah.

>>7942308
>But the wife isnt a fan, she is generally supportive but she doesnt like me in full womens clothes. She doesnt mind some goth makeup and slightly feminine clothing but full cross dressing is an issue for her.
You have to choose between the two women in your life.

>>7942366
AGP
G
P

>>7942372

I have never really had feelings of arousal at the idea of being a woman, never fantasised in that way. When I imagine myself as a woman the content tends to be far from sexual, often mundane desu.

>>7942366

I dont really know what I am really, let alone making choices of that gravity.

>>7942435
You're clearly trans

>>7942372
They're right though, despite putting it like that. >>7942170 seems pretty likely to be trans, certainly enough for it to be worth pursuing therapy and possibly treatment. Since things are bad already and are only going to get much worse if they are trans, if their wife can't accept them transitioning they'll have to do it anyway, because they're not going to be happy otherwise. Sacrificing your own happiness on this level (being the sex you want is fundamental; you can't deal with not having that) for a relationship with someone who can't accept you trying to fix your problems and be the way you want to be never goes well.

Normal guys aren't disgusted by their own reflections despite looking good for a guy, they don't feel comforted and happy when they crossdress (nor do they "feel like themselves" that way), they don't break down constantly despite nothing apparently being wrong.

Go and read your posts through critically and imagine it's someone else. Do you think they sound like they could be trans, or even probably are? Do you think it would be a good idea for them to go to a therapist? I could just quote all the things you've said at you that makes you sound obviously trans (and you sound like a textbook repressing/hasn't-quite-figured-it-out MtF, by the way), but it might be more effective if you do it for yourself.

Go to your GP. The anxiety will be hard to deal with but you'll be able to push yourself, and it will open up your options once you do. You're not locked into the decision to transition at any point, but if you're going to (or if you want therapy, which you should), you have to take the first step.

>>7942441

It's that painfully obvious?

Anyone know of a good shrink near London?

>>7942435
What is appealing about imagining yourself as a woman or crossdressing?

>>7942479
How can a GP/therapy help a tranny, besides transition?

>>7942494

Imagining myself as a woman in my internal monologue/fantasy world is just a standard, its not appealing in any particular way, just seems right.

Cross dressing, its just nice, I look down at myself or into a mirror and I dont feel uncomfortable

>>7942529
They can refer the patient to a therapist specialising in gender issues who can help them (who can in turn refer them to an endocrinologist for HRT).

Note that the NHS is unbearably slow, and the different clinics all have their own practices, some of which include forcing you to socially transition (with proof) for at least 6 months before they give you HRT. If you're going to transition, get on the NHS process but self-medicate until you can get a prescription. Or just go private.

>>7942537
More clear evidence for being really obviously trans. Crossdressing (which is a way of making yourself feel more like a woman, not about the clothes as such) stops you feeling bad rather than making you feel good (and you're in a position where you feel bad by default, because of being male). Considering yourself a woman feels normal and right. Seriously, you're textbook.

>>7942537
>Imagining myself as a woman in my internal monologue/fantasy world is just a standard,
What is your internal monologue/fantasy world?

>its not appealing in any particular way, just seems right.
>and I dont feel uncomfortable
So what's wrong/uncomfortable about imagining yourself as a guy or dressing as a guy?

>>7942583

My internal world varies daily as I am sure everybodies does from simply imaging how life would have turned out as a woman..would I have met the same people, made the same decisions, fallen in love with the same girls....to rich fantasy stories set in another world.

I dont like the way I look as a guy, always hated it, from my ungainly hands to strong stan smith jawline

>>7942639
Let's hear these rich fantasy stories and their worlds.

>>7942670

Is there really any need? Thanks for the advice guys, I think I am going to see a therapist, found a few shrinks on google who specialise in this, just need the courage to pull the trigger and do it. Thankfully I have a good job, can easily afford it.

>>7941006
this has been happening to me lately, it makes me worried about my levels

>>7941475
skull meme is real when you're way past puberty

>>7871486
Ok, I'll bite, but this thread is about to be archived so I'm not expecting much. If nothing else, I really hope another one of these threads pops up soon.

So 1 question: I'm 30 years old and considering HRT. Do y'all think it's worth my time, or should I just be Ok without? I would be. I am, I mean; I know I'll never truly pass, but I couldn't care less about that part. I'll shave 3 times a day. Hell, I already am lmao.

I'm more focused on whether the hormones will have a significant effect on my body being that I am the age I am (lol mouth full).

I know that the older we get hormones affect our bodies in a much more limited regard. Really though, how old is too old to consider HRT?

Fuck, thank you for creating this thread. Really. Even if it doesn't amount to anything for me. I just feel so much better knowing I'm not alone in this.

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Weighing my options here, 20/M(tF?)/'Murica.
I've had trans thoughts longer than I can even remember according to things my mother has told me, and since I was 14 I've been consciously aware I didn't like being a guy but ignored it. The whole trans movement pride bullshit does not sit well with me. No offense but holy shit a lot of these people should take no pride in anything they are. You guys should know the type I'm talking about. Now the thing is I can totally understand where they're coming from, I want to be "true to myself" (for lack of a better term) but I also want a certain level of normalcy and honestly have some pride and shame. So the plan was to not be trans but I can't even look at myself in the mirror or buy clothes anymore. I fear I'll reach a point where everything I do reminds me that I hate myself. I want to do something but without a skeletal transplant I am basically screwed as far as actually transitioning goes. Caveman brow, Crimson Chin chin, minifridge ribcage, yadda yadda. I know some people take estrogen but don't transition, but that doesn't seem like a very good way to live. I've had a lot of girls and some guys show interest in me before so it's not like I'm hideous (even if I feel like I am) and as much as I want to be happier with my body I also want to get married and stuff. "Manboobs and out of order genitals" is pretty bad baggage, right? Another thing is I really hate my genitalia but I'm also mortified by GRS (SRS?). Also from what I have read you can't even get that without being transitioned for a while unless you go get your surgery in some third world shithole.
Ok Clover says I'm rambling past 1600 characters so I'll cut to the chase. This post was a mess.
TL;DR - What can I do about trans feelings besides be trans?

>>7950951
Hrt with 30 is a gamble. Depends on your genes but you can try.

>>7952423
I only read the tldr because your text is a mess sorry.
You can't do anything about them except transition or ignoring them. The latter will make you unhappy so you'll only transition later or kys.

I'm a closet 18y/o mtf pre everything trans and would really appreciate if someone could kik me so we could chat,and they could give me advice or support. Kik - solar2508

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hi 18 uk closet mtf here. I’ve wanted to transition ever since i was around 13-14. I’m really hardcore thinking about transitioning right now.
I’ve done my research and found a clinic meant specifically to help trans pepole in the city that i live nearby.
the main 2 things holding me back are
>I’m not sure if i should come out to my parents first or if I should go on I’m to afraid of how they will react at this point(even had a nightmare last night about them disowning me and calling me a failure of a man)
>im also afraid that they will turn me away or something like that since I’ve never really acted on my wanting to be a girl in the past because I’ve been to afraid of my parents catching me so I’m afraid they’ll call me a fake or something like that.
they have drop in sessions and im not sure weather or not i should go to one of them or phone the clinic itself to ask about things. if i want to get proper support from them though ill need to get my gp to refer to me and i know I’m probably gonna need to come out to my folks by then but sorry for this mess of words but mind if i ask some advice on what to do?

>>7955758
Bi/les, right?

>>7955770
yes

>>7955795
Don't tell them that. You're a straight woman. *wink*

>>7955815
This backfired for me when I was 14, the dude thought I was just a gay man.

>>7955822
What happened?

>>7955815
eh that would probably have no effect on it my main problem is that i have serious trouble talking with my parents about anything that serious in the slightest.

>>7955758
>I’m not sure if i should come out to my parents first or if I should go on I’m to afraid of how they will react at this point(even had a nightmare last night about them disowning me and calling me a failure of a man)

depends how your parents react to doing stuff behind their backs. My parents get absolutely livid if i do something big behind their backs so i just told them first before going to the gender clinic. They were okay with that.

>im also afraid that they will turn me away or something like that since I’ve never really acted on my wanting to be a girl in the past because I’ve been to afraid of my parents catching me so I’m afraid they’ll call me a fake or something like that.

My parents asked me the same question during my coming out. Now i certainly wasn't the girly type in my youth. I told my parents that i did want to act more feminine but that i was afraid how society would react so i would just hide it from them. That made sense to my parents because they know what happens to dudes who act girly.

>>7955758
The NHS is incredibly slow, so start the referral process as soon as possible. If the clinic you're talking about is an NHS clinic (as opposed to a private one) I don't think you'll be able to make an appointment there directly; you'll need a referral, so talk to your GP.

Also, if you're sure enough you want HRT at this point, then you should self-medicate. Coming from someone who spent over 3 years waiting for HRT on the NHS when they were 99% sure they wanted it and had the means to get it just because of holding on to the irrational hope that I wouldn't need it and by trying to ignore my problems: really seriously consider self-medicating. You can't be totally sure you're trans but you reach a point where your doubts are mostly based on fear rather than actual good reasons. A lot of the "therapy" they put you through is for their purposes rather than yours; for me it was good at first, and then they wasted so much time going over the same things I'd already said or asking questions to which they'd clearly learned the answer from other places, even after I got a diagnosis.

One would hope your parents would be okay with you taking control of your own medical treatment. You're an adult; you can make your own decisions and they don't have to know (especially if it's just a referral or a talk session; if you were to start HRT they'd have more of a reason to care). Still, only you know how they're going to react. If you haven't seen them be overtly transphobic then you're probably not in danger of being disowned or anything.

>I’m afraid they’ll call me a fake or something like that.
Yeah, my parents doubted me heavily because I didn't show any real signs in the past. Normies don't understand that being trans isn't about how you act, nor do they understand how deep repression/doubt can get. Tell them about how your dysphoria harms you, and how it's very real and something which needs treatment, and how transition is the only treatment.

>>7956625
so much for nationalised healthcare making things easier.

how do you go to a private clinic?

>>7956713
Just call them and ask to make an appointment. You'll have to pay of course. I can't recommend you any clinics.

>>7956724
how much are they, in full?

do they take so long because of waiting lists?

>>7956795
yes, veeeeeeery long waiting lists.

>>7956795
>how much are they, in full?
You'd have to look at the information provided by the clinics themselves (from their website or talking to them directly).

>do they take so long because of waiting lists?
They have very long waiting lists and then have far more appointments than are necessary before giving you HRT.

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So I am a MTF been on HRT for 10 months and when I got out with make up as long as I don't talk people think I am a woman.
The problem is I still did not get FFS or my sex reassignment and I am fucking terrorized going in the woman bathroom and when people see me in the man bathroom tell me I am in the wrong one. If people think I am female there would be no problem but what if I go iin the washroom as angry SJW soccer mom spot me. I don't want to end up on a stupid article about a mtf going in the women bathroom.

So I'm a couple months into HRT and my nipples have stopped hurting but the areola still get puffy and stick out. Only occasionally will they flatten out and my boobs will look like normal boobs again.

Is this bad?

>>7960510
If you don't make a scene nobody will make any article.

>>7960576
Thanks, I guess I was just paranoid since I never thought about that.

>>7877367
I am on estro and still agonize over it, even after the estrogen helped clear a lot of my problems up and is still helping. It's ok, apparently a lot of people don't really understand until they can fully see themself as the opposite gender and feel excited and happy and relieved.

>>7871486
I was born male and will stay male the only tranny I'll take is the tranny I take to the electroshock room

>>7962060
thanks for the info, mike. Hows trump doing?

>>7912668
Pretty sure hospitals keep illegal drugs on hand for the sole purpose of withdrawal effects

>>7942102
this, happens to me regularly, its always because i have to pee

>>7960510
>as long as I don't talk people think I am a woman.
how about you train that voice?

Hello anon.
This is going to be a shitty blogpost so wear your seat belt.
I haven't really read anything on this board.
I'm once again drunk and fucking frustrated.
I'm just not sure about the whole trans thing, never been a fan of the word, the people or anything.
My father always was very.... conservative.

When I was in first grade I wanted to try on dresses. Got beat.
So I went to my friend who was a girl and I kinda suggested a game.
One of us would "fall asleep" (we were like 6y/o) and the other could do what he/she wanted.
After some time finally some girly stuff happened.
It was fucken great. I felt fucken great. It was also reaaaaally silly. I had to help with putting the clothes on after all.
Since that day I was daydreaming about crossdressing all the time.
My first fap at age 10 or heck I dunno, I thought about getting forcefully feminized.
Mind you I never had contact with the internet back then.
I think the forceful aspect was a result of my deep shame thanks to my parents.
I wouldn't admit I liked that stuff.
So I always supressed it.
Lived a typical boy's life. Got a gf. We still are together, 6 years now.
I am 22 years old and so fucking sad I didn't take it in my own hands back then.
Now I have a pretty strong chin/jaw and too many muscles for my taste.
I look like a fucking adult male. I can't get over it.
I feel like I missed the biggest fucking opportunity.
And I am terribly sorry if you read this and you're thinking "Oh 22, I wish I still was this young".
I know this may sound entitled as fuck. I'm alone at home, sad. Didn't know what to do.
Finally had to vent.
Cheers.

>>7963057
i started at 22
i have lived full time for a year and on hrt for almost 18 months, granted my face and voice are my best features, 2 of the most important components in passing in daily life
just start already, yesterday is the best thing, today is the next best
start with voice, a good voice will make you pass even if you look like shrek
best of luck anon, you can be a tranner too <3

>>7963181
Thanks for replying, I appreciate it.
That yesterday/today thing was great. Thanks for wishing me luck.
Still not sure if I'll actually have the courage after the alcohol wears off.
I don't really want to lose the connection to my family, which I most likely will do.
I also have a deep, strong, wall-ignoring voice. The fucking 20cm dick ain't helping me to see my chance.
But I feel a bit better since I started buying lotions and stuff marketed towards women.
It's kinda like my small haven, lol. Still my skin is shit, I've got loads of body hair and always suffer from razor burn.

Kind anon, are you happy? Are you actually enjoying yourself now?
Did you lose people? Sorry if I ask bad questions.
Once again thanks for the reply. Seriously enjoy your day.

>>7963289
>are you happy? Are you actually enjoying yourself now?
>Did you lose people?
i haven't been happier in my entire life than i have been since transitioning, every day is a joy (not 100% true but you get it)
i did lose people, but no one id like to keep anyway, e.g. not family
no worries anon, i hope it works out for you

>>7963024
Im too shy to talk to myself alone.

>>7871486
Finally came to terms with being ftm but I wanna be a femboy. I feel like a freak nobody will take serious. Is there any way besides transitioning to fix dysphoria

>too scared to transition or anything
>lack of any future b/c not girl is killing me
>want to die

how do i stop being a pussy and kill myself or take hormones

>>7965752
Just click the button.

>>7965290
nope, either transition, die or be a self pitying depressed woman forever.

Currently sitting here dressed up in some of my mom's clothes while no one is home. ;-; How do/did you guys deal with not being able to transition (or even come out) while you still live with your parent(s).

>>7965771
What does that even mean

sorry i dont know what this even means to me, but im looking to get to know how people's doses go from the point they start on it to whichever point in transition they are right now

I started about a month ago with 50mg spiro and i just got my new prescription for 100mg spiro and 1mg estradiol

I think I'm just a bit too excited, but yeah I just want to know how im doing as far as that goes. I have another blood exam scheduled and then i might get my dose upped to the max of 4mg estradiol according to my doctor

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>turn 19 tomorrow
>since i was about 16 I’ve had random waves of dysphoria on and off again
>they have kept getting worse over time
>know there probably going to get worse as i get older and i have less excuses to not transition
>felt like shit wanting to be a girl for the past week
>it’s so bad that every time i look in the mirror i get depressed as fuck
>also can’t think of any reason why i would want to be a girl besides that i fucking hate my masculinity
>know I’m probably going to transition eventually
>don’t want to regret doing it too late and ending up hon
I’m not sure whether or not I should bite the bullet now and come out to my mom tomorrow bout how I’ve felt or not and maybe receive help but I’m also afraid of this all being a phase and i make a total fool out of myself.

>>7903896
I literally thought I wrote this until I realized I'm a uni student.

However, I'm on hormones now, and they helped IMMENSELY with the mental issues. Just my experience anon.

>>7938140
If they catch you, call the cops you dumb fuck

Parents are just people, they are not your saviors, they are not your role models, they are just people and can be just as shitty as they can be positive. Take it from others with more life experience.

>>7942372
off yourself

>>7964178
fuck iktf

>>7968517
>>also can’t think of any reason why i would want to be a girl besides that i fucking hate my masculinity
But that is THE reason you're supposed to be doing this. To relieve your dysphoria.

>I’m also afraid of this all being a phase
The psych is supposed to help you figure out if it's a phase or not. It's probably not a phase if it's been three years though.

>>7968517
I'm gonna be 20 in a few months and I'm pretty much in the same boat. You should probably try to get on hormones or something.

I don't know if it makes it better but it can't hurt probably

What should I do if I have a huge head, wide shoulders, am overweight and need to lose 100 lbs to be cis weight, huge feet, deep voice, and will never pass?

>>7973076
probably kill yourself
or you lose weight, take hormones, train voice and buy shoes online in stores that carry large sizes
your choice anon

Anyone have any tips to help retain water while on spiro? I bumped up my dosage to 200mg a few months ago and I keep getting dehydrated as a result

>>7974516
drink more

>>7968517
Happy birthday! Did you do it yet or what?

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Is there any way of testing being trans temporarily to see if you feel fit for it or not?
once you turn fem and decide to change back for some reason, will your hormones and features be fucked forever?
I don't wanna give it a try, then end up with ED desu

>>7974807
all changes that occur within the first 3 months are completely reversible

Why is banking sperm so expensive? My ciswife is insiting on me doing it before I start HRT. How many deposits is enough for two kids?

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>>7968517
Seriously do it, I regret waiting for so long to do it.
It will all be better soonish after.

Hey /lgbt/; I'm in a bit of a dilemma, maybe. I'm not sure. I am a bisexual male. Physically I am very much a bear; six feet tall, broad shouldered, strongfat, ample body hair (and good hygiene, I will note); but some days I just feel really feminine, want to wear dresses and makeup and feel really pretty. Not every day, but a good 30-40 percent of the time, I'd say. My BF doesn't have an issue with it, but lately the urges have been getting stronger and lasting longer; i'm not sure if it's full blown dysphoria or not. I don't have any sort of hate or disgust of my penis, certainly, with the amount of use I get from it; but I'm beginning to start questioning things. The other problem is that I'm not really in a business where I can afford to lose strength and muscle; I'm an EMT, so I need to be able to lift 300+ pound patients on top of a stretcher. But I Just kinda feel like... I dunno, like I'd be happier if I was more feminine, less masculine, and it's starting to drain on me, and I'm not sure what to do about it or if it's full on dysphoria or just me reacting to stress elsewhere in my life or what. Figured you folk might be able to help.

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So I came out to my mom as MTF like 2 or 3 years ago, which was honestly probably way too early because I wasn't even really sure I wanted to transition then, but basically, things became a little awkward between us for a while, and then things kinda went on like I'd never said it.

But now, like, I've started hormones like 3 months ago and I've been seeing a gender therapist for like a year and a half, all of which she knows, and even then she never mentioned anything about it and continued to call me "son" and stuff. Which, I never asked her not to, so that's not really her fault, and I'm not full-time or anything yet. It's just that a few days ago I was feeling really dysphoric and depressed and really needed someone to talk to her so I called her and started basically spilling all of my trans problems out to her, and trying to explain to her what it even means to be trans since from a lot of what she said she obviously had no clue.

The thing that I'm wondering about, though, is that now she's like super "excited" about me being trans, and it's kind of making me uncomfortable, like she's not taking me seriously or something. She texted me basically gushing like a teenage girl saying "omg we're totally gonna get makeovers and your ears pierced and im gonna buy you your first outfit." Am I right to feel weird about that? Like, I like the idea of doing that, but something about the way she's saying it just feels like she's treating it like she just wants to dress me up or something. I don't really know how to explain it

>>7978710
try out crossdressing and see if you like it.

>>7979129
Your mom is treating you like the daughter she never had. Mine did the same. Tell her to slow down.

>>7980079
>7979129
>Your mom is treating you like the daughter she never had. Mine did the same. Tell her to slow down.

I have a sister though, granted she's only 11. Do you still think that's what it is?

I told her that I might be uncomfortable presenting female in public this early and I don't know if I'm ready and she said "I don't care what other people think." Like ok great but that's not exactly the only issue?

>>7973076
>huge head
You can get certain surgeries to reduce this somewhat, and also use tricks to hide it
>wide shoulders
Either get surgery from a shady doctor, or use tricks to hide it
>overweight
Just eat less lmao
>huge feet
Literally noone notices. If you're big, your feet will be big. Everyone knows that
>deep voice
Doesn't matter
>will never pass
You don't know this. Feel free to kill yourself once you've tried everything. You didn't write "tall" so you're probably better off than 50% of trannies

>>7980079
>try out crossdressing and see if you like it.

I've crossdressed before a couple of times, usually admittedly for fetish reasons, but it was pretty nice. Never goen in public with anything like that on, though.

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im 25 and want to come out as mtf but its hard.

is it ever helpful to go to a trans group thing? I live in LA and theres a meet n greet event kind of thing happening at the LGBT center.

does anyone have experience going to these things? is it ever worth it? i would like to meet other mtfs around my age, but will it just be all old hons?

>>7980152
Well, yeah. Your mother wants to show you off. She has an image in her head of how you will or can turn out with your transition and shes trying to achieve that as fast as possible so she can show you to others. "Yeah anon was a boy first but look how prettty she turned out to be". She's also trying to do girly stuff with you because your sister can't do some stuff yet due to age (boobs, makeup, etc.) and she's trying to make up for the lost time you didn't spent doing girly stuff.

so yeah not much you can do with mothers who kill their new daughters with love and gifts. Keep refusing until she gets the idea.

>>7983029
How can you tell if an accepting mother will be like this or if she'll just be neutral?

What else might a mother like this do to her trans daughter?

>>7979129
I wish my mum was like that...
Mine just treats me like a freak,and wont let me transition as long as I live in her house(Im taking HRT without her knowing tho),it feels. So.Fucking.Bad

>>7979129
>>7983059

I had a mother like that. Let me tell you a story.

Just to note: my (extended) family consists of very few women.

>mom has been trying to get a girl for 3 kids
>i come out, a "boy"
>mom not amused, but raises me as a typical boy

>come out as trans
>mom gets angry i didnt tell her earlier because we couldve done girl stuff together much sooner
>mom goes to GP the next day to get a referral to a gender clinic
>three days later we're shopping for outfits
>nags endlessly about why i am not wearing said outfits or makeup
>give in and go part time, mom happy for a little while
>won't let me go alone to gender clinic appointments
>mom was ready to lie about my past if that meant i got diagnosed as trans, because she wasn't losing her "new daughter"
>luckily she didnt have to lie because i was pretty obviously trans
>At the first sign of me growing boob she wanted me to go bra shopping (i was flat chested as fuck)

>year later
>I turned out to be pretty i guess, mom is happy
>mom outing me to fucking everyone because she wants those sweet trans compliments
>"Your daughter turned out to be so pretty" aka every fucking one she shows my photo to
>i have literally become her trophy daughter
>keeps reinforcing me being pretty by giving me compliments all the time
>calls me young lady every chance she gets (usually within earshot of others)
>recently had srs consult, mom is over the moon because apparently this will make me a "real girl", her perfect daughter
>not looking forward to her talking about my vag all the time when it happens at the end of the year

I mentioned my boundaries many times but she just doesnt stop. Being on the other end of the extreme isn't fun either.

>How can you tell if an accepting mother will be like this or if she'll just be neutral?
when she's way too overjoyed about your coming out and having a daughter and instantly wants to do stuff.

>>7983173
In what ways were you raised as a "typical boy" instead of how she would have raised a girl?

How unpleasant was her enthusiasm to get you in girl clothes and to show you off? What was the worst about it?

>when she's way too overjoyed about your coming out
No way to guess in advance then...

>>7983204
considering i was the fourth "boy" she just raised me like my brothers, pretty normal dudes. She probably wouldn't have gone full retard if i was a girl right off the bat to be honest. It's probably the fact that she had to wait 20 years to finally have some quality girl to girl time.

>How unpleasant was her enthusiasm to get you in girl clothes and to show you off?

very. i was practically forced into them while i was still looking like a guy. She gave me the stink eye whenever i wasn't wearing female clothes. because girls dont wear "guy clothes".

Luckily she didnt start showing me off until like 5 months on hrt which is when i started showing signs of passing. i felt treated like an object by my mom and her friends. It's emotionally destructive really.

>>7983204
>No way to guess in advance then...
my mom did use to complain all the time about not having anyone to share her girl stuff with, and that we were just disgusting dudes.

It's a miracle i didnt turn out mentally fucked up really.

>>7983245
>very. i was practically forced into them while i was still looking like a guy.
How did she browbeat your objections?

>i felt treated like an object by my mom and her friends. It's emotionally destructive really.
Very unpleasant. How has it affected you?

>and that we were just disgusting dudes.
Wow...

>>7983249
>How did she browbeat your objections?
Whenever i wore male clothes she would start using male pronouns and reinforce the idea that i was a man. Emotionally that hurts a lot as a trans person. She also threatened to take some of my stuff away (i'm a gamer) or stop paying my tuition. Of course i didn't want that so i just listened.

>How has it affected you?
I have a very hard time trusting people and i don't like people looking at me or touching me. Also got anxiety. I think everyone out there is there just to fuck me over like my mom.


my dad traveled a lot for his work so he was practically never home. He couldn't help me and didn't really care.

>>7983342
>Whenever i wore male clothes she would start using male pronouns and reinforce the idea that i was a man.
That's horrid. What did she say if you told her not to?

>She also threatened to take some of my stuff away (i'm a gamer) or stop paying my tuition.
How could she justify that!?

>>7983350
>What did she say if you told her not to?
she didn't care about what i said. she said that if i wanted to be a girl that i should start acting like one.

>How could she justify that!?
in the same way parents who don't like their trans child take stuff away. Parent doesn't like stuff you do -> take stuff away -> child acts good again -> bring stuff back. it's the most childish act ever. I sure as hell wasn't letting my education go when i was in the last year of college.

next thread:

>>7985923
>>7985923
>>7985923