/ftmg/ - female to male general

Today I made my bed by signing up for a 12hr shift, which, fuck me, lads.

In other news this happened the other day:

>waiting in line for performance art
>eventually start talking to old lady in line with me
>because art we start talking about books and movies and whatnot
>Tom of Finland movie comes up
>"well, I'm straight as gets, but I have to say that Tom's men has me rather....... excited."
>lol ok
>continue talking about queer artists
>eventually branch to a local trans male artist
>"it has to be terribly difficult"
>mhm
>"but I suppose it makes for good art"
>mhm
>"personally I found my period hard to deal with as was, imagine having to suffer through that knowing all that!"
>...mhm
>"oh, no, you don't understand, it's not just the bleeding- of course you wouldn't know."
>mfw

I've only been on T for three months this is honestly kinda absurd.

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>>7857237
Unsure of what you're trying to say, dude. They saw you as trans/tweener, or girl?

why 12hr shift? What work?

>>7857237
>>"oh, no, you don't understand, it's not just the bleeding- of course you wouldn't know."
Congrats on passing for cis and all, but this kind of presumption is so annoying to me. Even when it comes to cis men, it's stupid to act like they don't even understand the theory.

>>7857346
she perceived him as a cis guy and so acted like he couldn't understand the concept of menstruation

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>>7857368
I think it has more to do with them thinking men who say they understand trivialize it a bit. It's one of those 'Do I look fat in this dress'-questions.
"Sure, honey. I know your weewee hole hurts a bit and you cry when you see kittens. I'm gonna get you some ice cream".

>>7857393
This makes sense. Go him.

>>7857393
Correctamente!

>>7857368
It didn't really bother me, it wasn't like a "men NEVER understand!" type thing, more like me not communicating much sympathy and she being like "no, it's REALLY bad".

>>7857346
Resturant. I swapped shifts with someone and at the time I was mostly excited for some extra hours of work. It's in direct connection to a big venue and we have some big concerts and games today.

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>>7857548
>Resturant.
why would you do this to yourself. It's the second worst business in the world, the first being slavery. High stress, low pay, and no opportunity for a legit promotion.

Piracy is such a tedious process, I'm gonna be here for hours. What are you guys doing this fine Saturday?

>>7857557
Only thing I could get. Experience is good. Nice co-workers, fun stories to tell, good thing to have on my resumé to prove I can handle stress, close to home, weekends and evenings suit me well.

>>7857075

distractions and i take comfort in the fact that suicide is always an option...

>>7857582

chill with the birds and my guitar cuz it's cold out and my s/o's at work

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>>7857595
I miss being 16

>>7857582
Can I be a pirate too

I'm fixing a couple of army coats from ww2 so they'll suit my frame. Will probably fuck it up but it's worth a try. At the very least I will have learned something from it.

>>7857644
I'm 20, lol. No higher education, though, but I'm european so free edu = no stress.

>>7857557
Getting jobs without experience is fucking hard, and the restaurant industry is always ready to snap up people who have no choice but to work for what they pay.

>>7857595
Good luck anon. I pulled a few 12-13 hour shifts at my old restaurant job (and one 16hr). Make sure you stretch and drink your water whenever you have time to breath.

>>7857582
I've always wanted to be a fucking pirate. I have a pirate face.

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>>7857075
>dealing with depression
haha silly OP, you dont deal with depression. you ignore it and make jokes until you have a massive breakdown from the stress of constant denial, then you go right back to ignoring it

coincidentally, does anyone have any idea how to get back out into dating/being social in general? i busted my boyfriend sexting some girl across the country and now that we're officially over, i've come to realize that i let him socially isolate me through guilt. im on tinder but is there any hope for me to build friendships now? i live in a relatively small town so idk if we have anywhere lgbt people congregate

>>7857730
Post pirate face

>>7857557
at least it's not cashiering, bc you can swear in a kitchen. i'm about ready to blow my brains out after dealing with the general public for 6 months

>>7857582
right now im just trying to figure out what the fuck im gonna do w my life now that im single again, but i have to go to the Hell Pit and close our in-store deli tonight. i'm scheduled to leave early too so im probably teaching someone to do the job

>>7857604
the thought of being dead is so comforting lol
the only reason i havent actually killed myself yet is bc i live alone now and i have two cats so id feel like shit if i made a decision that would land them in a kill shelter. my parents cant take them in bc my stepdads allergic and my ex boyfriend wouldnt take them bc hes back living w his mom, and she already has animals. im literally their only shot at living a happy life.
at the very least, knowing theyre depending on me gets me up in the morning

>>7857748
That's why I don't have pets. Nobody will care when I kill myself, which is how I want it.

>>7857737
>>7857737
oh my fuck that pic

>>7857740
I've had shit experiences with posting my pics online, man.

>>7857737

why is that even a big deal? halfway across the country means they couldn't actually fuck and it's not like that's cheating + how did you "bust" him? were you going through his shit?

>>7857775
That's pirate life for you

>>7857748

yeah part of the reason i haven't killed myself is cuz i know no one is gonna take care of the birds the way i do cuz i think my s/o will just fall apart... they do like my family though... the other shit is cuz of my s/o, i know he couldn't deal with it...

still it's a comforting thought to know if shit gets too unbearable i could just kill myself, i mean... i figure i'm gonna die anyway choosing when and how isn't a bad deal

though i tend to just wish the shit wrong with me would kill me quickly instead of just being a constant jumble of symptoms while slowly destroying my body... cuz people in my life would have an easier time accepting illness over suicide killing me

>>7857679
I did 14hrs once, but I'm a bit out of practice. First half of the shift was alright, not very intense, but second half is looking worse. I'm kinda tired is my main gripe, the people I'm working with are cool but I really don't want to fuck up.

>>7857075
i used to deal with depression by self harming, isolation, and just wallowing in my sad feelings. now i deal with it by overeating which is still bad. :/

>>7857845
How bad was the self harming? I have pretty big scars covering my lower arms, so I'm going to looked fucked forever.

>>7857870
I have scars on my upper thighs. They're back to my skin color but still raised up. You just have to be patient. Massaging them can help.

>>7857887
The scars are old now, so it's not going to get better. They're raised and when I'm flushed they stand out pretty strong. Luckily I'm usually pale and people only notice when they get close to me. I also cover up the worst ones with leather bands.
Upper thigh is a less visible placing at least. You got reactions from partners?

>>7858071
This somehow relates to spongebob I know it

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>>7858115

I need to constantly numb myself so I won't think. I'm running out of options on what to do, hanging out with friends, video games and music doesn't work anymore. I can't smoke weed or drink 24/7 because I'm in high school (18 y.o.). What the fuck do I do?

>>7858151
Working out until you drop gives the same effect and is a lot healthier in the long run.

>>7858151

try meditation,learning how to live in any given moment fully without letting your emotions and thoughts cloud what you're experiencing, do shit that's physically engaging... to an extent though you can't always numb yourself, you gotta feel negative shit and accept it as part of life, it doesn't have to be a bad thing though... you can grow and take shit away from bad shit

Is everyone here suicidal? Geez.

>>7858288
There's nothing wrong with having a plan b

>>7857845
piggy

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>>7857730
Dude, jokes aside if you are steady in spanish you can achieve that. There a huge business in getting tourists across the deadlands between Costa Rica and Colombia, and where there's tourist trails you will always have bandits.
A lot of shady captains work as pirates in those areas. You don't even need to get into the drug trade to become a pirate down there. Just saying.

>>7858288

i don't think it counts as being suicidal when i just look at it like an eventuality, a decent option, and haven't actively tried in years... i'm not gonna do anything, if shit works out well though and my s/o and i get things together i might wait a year to make sure shit's ok for him and get it over with though... but i have no current plans to do it, and i won't act on it emotionally anymore cuz when i did hanging myself didn't work out, and i learned after that experience that the next time needs to be perfect

>>7857075
>deal with depression
like many trans men, I have a therapist. I actually talk to mine.

Jokes aside I know I'm lucky as hell to have a good therapist who I click with and not only understands and has experience with trans men, but also is just a damn good therapist in general.

>>7858327

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>>7858605
Follow you are dream, Captain

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>>7857075
I deal with depression by working out at the gym.
Physical exercise really helps a lot.
I also try to spend time outside every day, even when the weather is awful.
There is something healing about nature.
I try to spend an hour every day meditating, which i interpret as self-reflection and pondering as well as trying to blank my mind and focus on nothing.
I used to take anti-depressants (citalopram) and it helped get me past a really difficult time, but there were a lot of side effects and it was very expensive ($500 a month) and so I eventually gave it up.
I would recommend it for you if you have tried other things but still can't get out of the hole.
It has an energizing effect.
You will get a lot done when you're on it.
Lastly, I attend group therapy meetings every month or so, especially when I'm having a difficult time.
They help me see that I'm not alone and that many other people are dealing with the same problems I'm having, and often their problems are far worse than mine so this puts things in perspective.
I have also gained some friends from these groups so I recommend them.

dbsalliance.org for a meeting near you

http://metoidioplasty.tumblr.com/
:3

>>7858826
>uselessbabydick.tumblr.com

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>>7858839
All our alternatives are useless
At least this one isn't frankenbenis
At least you have full feeling in it and are able to orgasm properly
At least no hugeass arm scar

>>7858888

that just makes them all useless

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>>7858913
What's your point?

>>7858888
I personally don't mind scars. I'm still waiting for that penis transplant though.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/07/health/penis-transplants-being-planned-to-heal-troops-hidden-wounds

>>7858931

what's yours?

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>>7858951
Agreed. My meto is still years ahead so who knows if the transplant can be an option by then. But for now I use meto as a carrot to work towards. A tiny silly carrot.

>>7858888
This! I'll take a tiny micro dick over frankenbenis every day of the week! >>7858951 I bet this stuff will only be offered to injured/deformed cis-men for a looooong ass time before it becomes an offer to trans-men (if it ever will be) Same with benis grown from stem cells and that kinda stuff.

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>>7858959
baby carrots

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>>7858984
ssshh. Don't bust my dreams. I want to believe (but you're completely right)

>>7858986

seems like a lot of money, risk, and time for something you can't use... unless someone's exclusively a gay bottom i don't see how it helps dysphoria

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>>7859349
Who says you can't use it?

>>7859412

you can't fuck someone properly with something that small... which leaves all the shit you can do with yourself or someone else to begin with pretty much... so what's the point? surgery has risks, that shit doesn't seem worth them... why get a dick you can't use for fucking?

>>7859412
>>7859446

+ what's up with that cats head?

>>7859446
>why get a dick you can't use for fucking?

so you can send unwanted dick pics to unsuspecting people, obviously

>>7859495

i guess, if you're into humiliation or some shit...

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>>7859458
he got booped

>>7859446
Sounds like we got a sizeking in the house.
Here:
Actual penetration is possible and loads of guys want that, even if you can't 'fuck them properly'
Easier to pee standing
Looks natural even if small, so it's easier to mingle in locker rooms and stuff, Nobody asks about a guys junk or stares too long unless bi/gay.
You will feel like there's something there, and don't have to pack anymore.

Tiny happysnake is better than no happysnake

If you can't live without penis and the only other choice is frankenweiner, meto is a good choice, and it's not that invasive. More snibety snab and releasing the roid-dick. From what I gather at least.

>>7859547

i just don't see a point in getting put under for something that can't be used properly... i get your reasons, but i wouldn't wanna risk that shit, i've got health issues that would make surgery risky to begin with... not worth it... and some of those are ridiculously tiny

if that shit would make you feel good by all means, but there's a reason not every transguy is choosing that shit

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>>7859446
In my case, I don't use my dysphoria-hole anyway, so having a useless dick isn't far off from that.

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>>7859589
I see your point. Still find it surprising that so many guys would prefer nothing instead of tiny. I mean dickless is way worse than dicklet, at least in my eyes.

>>7859589
nobody is telling you that you need to do it.
if it isn't for you then don't do it.

>>7859618

fair enough

>>7859625

surgery isn't risk or complication free, as being trans becomes something people know more about and are more open about the possibilities of better surgeries go up... i can't see a reason to take a risk if the reward doesn't seem worthwhile... i only get it if there's above average growth pre-surgery to begin with, and even then... fucking with something that i use for orgasms seems like a potentially huge mistake

>>7859648

i was under the impression we were just discussing opinions on it... who said anyone was telling me what i need to do? where did i imply i was taking it that way?

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>>7859664
Complication is a plus for me. If I'm lucky I can die on the table. If they botch the surgery I can always enjoy the opium high and then jump from the hospital window.

>>7859687

sure dying on the table is a devent opportunity, but living and being fucked up would suck... i'd feel obligated to stick around cuz of people... i'd definitely go back to heroin though, like in a fucking second

>>7859703
decent*

>>7859672
>i get your reasons, but i wouldn't wanna risk that shit

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>>7859703
Living for others? I guess. Good on you for having people.

>>7859716

i don't see how you took me saying that as me implying all that other shit... you're reading too much into it, and my mind doesn't work the way yours does i guess...

>>7859758

i would've killed myself a long time ago if i didn't care about other people... i literally only bother with life cuz i have people i care about who feel like they need me around

i don't even fucking get it, i'm useless...

honestly, a lot of the time it just kinda feels like a burden... just makes me feel guilty that i'm a useless piece of shit and that they care, and it makes me miserable when i just kinda wanna die and i have someone telling me they love me and need me... idk it seems like it'd be a good thing, having people who give a shit, but sometimes it's just miserable

unrelated: this kid on this thing i'm watching has skin that blisters and tears when shit touches him, epidermolysis bullosa

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>>7859805
Because you're not useless to them. Simple as that. By being present you are contributing.

>epidermolysis bullosa
poor little shit. how does he not randomly die of that?

>>7859843

i can't wrap my head around why or how they feel that way... and i kinda question their judgment, but yeah... i'd be dead already if i was alone...

i think he's only like 7 and his parents are pretty careful with him so he's got a while to go... shit looks miserable though, he was crying about needing to take a bath to prevent/deal with infections cuz they're so painful for him

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>>7859868
I'm glad they're there then, even if they don't make sense.

I love watching medical gore documentaries. It reminds me how much shittier everything can get. No matter how low you go, it can always go lower you know.

>>7859912

well at least one of us is glad about that then...

i love them too, not for that reason but i just find deformities, parasites, and messed up medical conditions fascinating... it's amazing how much fucked shit exists and can happen

>>7859912
>>7859998

And you wonder why people think you're mentally ill?

>>7860026

can't say i wonder that... though if it's cuz i find medical oddities fascinating then i gotta say those people seem stupid...

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>>7860026
This is 4chan. We're all mentally ill.

>>7857779
i could tell something was up and he finally confessed to it, then he let me look through his phone
also if he wants to have a ldr he can have an ldr without me in the picture. if he's having sexual thoughts about another person and he's sending her sexual messages, it's over

also he was scummy for other reasons but i put up w them because i cared about him

>>7860373

just wondering if you were one of those people who go through their s/o's shit secretly... but he showed you so... damn, sorry that happened...

though i'll be honest i figure sexual thoughts about other people are a given, people don't die inside just cuz they're in a relationship... seems unrealistic to expect that one...

sounds like you're better off anyway, especially cuz of the isolation shit more than anything really... i imagine there's other shit that went along with that, there always is... + you calling him scummy

with the getting out again shit... idk what's in your area or where you can get to, and i usually just meet people through drugs and alcohol so i don't have a lot of advice there...

My hair stylist clocked me immediately, and I clocked him about two minutes later. It is quite frankly a shitty haircut, but i'm completely non-passing so I'll take it for not being ma'am'd once or having someone try and talk me into a lesbian short cut for half an hour

>>7858448
shut up brooklyn

I prefer meta dick over phallo because it'd feel more natural and could have natural erections. Plus less scarring and recovery. Also you can still get blowjobs.

There's a prosthetic made by Transthetics I'm looking at too, called The Rod. You wear it over your meta dick and you can piss through it.
https://transthetics.com/product/the-rod-super-realistic-meta-extension/

>>7860610

why? that's a solid life plan for me + you know i'm not surprised someone told me to shut up but... i'm kinda surprised it was about that...

I just realized that by being stealth I'm literally a disgusting Straight White Male™ who has all the privileges.

>>7860826
that got me thinking

do you guys think if we had as large a presence on the board we'd eventually split into a mainly straight ftmg and a separate gay/bi ftmg like the mtfs do or do we not have the same sort of possible community division

>>7860826
What privileges?

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>>7860826
I've noticed that about myself as well.
I'm not completely straight, white, or (cis) male, but I look like I am.

>>7860859
Not sure.
I don't know about /mtfg/, but we don't talk about that kind of thing enough to warrant a division.
Maybe if there were more of us, yeah.
Hard to say.

>>7860859

there was a gay one at one point... didn't last, no one cared...

>>7860869
>>7860859
** not to mention, but with the MtFs, the reason they made a lesbian one is because of /lesgen/, not /mtfg/. I used to hang around /lesgen/ and they'd get just as many MtF crossposters as we do here, except the lesbians were much more brutal in shutting them down.

>>7860861
Cis Straight White Male is literally the antichrist.

>>7860880

that's cuz lesgen is full of crazy, angry bitches... they're funny as hell though

will trade penis for boobs

>>7860901
Not sure about boob implants, but there should absolutely be a way in medical science for transwomen to donate their dicks to transmen, like in that article linked earlier in the thread.
Maybe we could donate uteri to you ladies, if we get it removed before T fucks it up.

>>7860880
How many crossposters are there here? Why were the lesbians more brutal?

>>7860936
Not that anon, but people should stay in their lane.

>>7860936
Here is... about 50/50, or so. The MtFs come and go.

The lesbians just would not tolerate them at all. If there's any indication in your post that you have a dick, they'd be on your ass about getting you to fuck off. Kind of like what >>7860898 said, they're just constantly angry.

>>7860936

i like to go in there every once in a while say the first thing that comes to mind and watch what happens... they always get angrier than i expect, but eh... last time was entertaining for a while

>>7857748
Kitchen beats retail, man. If I had to fake smile at another moron I would have murdered.

...also it's nice to make things.

>>7860610

Rude

>>7858951
>transition all the way to Ken Doll
>get all the paper work sorted
>oin the army
>have a freak, tragic nether accident
>get in on that shit

>>7860026

I always wonder what must go through people's minds to stalk trans threads just to say shit like this, as if any of us actually wonder that and don't understand that we're mentally ill.

>>7858888
Quads confirm, phallocucks BTFO forever

>>7858888
Orgasms and good sensations are not guaranteed. Full sensation like a cis girl is impossible.

>>7862802
>cis girl
Wrong thread

>>7862823
Sorry...

>>7858951
Is there any way we could speed this along? Can we give money to doctors/researchers to figure out this shit or something instead of just waiting like a bunch of idiots?

>>7863555
The problem is that trans guys don't have the plumbing and blood vessels to just hook off a transplant or stem cell penis. This is not something you can easily fix in a few years.

>>7863555
I'd happily work my ass out to give them money to speed it up.

>>7858951
I don't mind them being done on soldiers first. Having a dick and losing it sucks more than not having it in the first place.

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>>7860826

Welcome home

>>7863669
Some say it's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all

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>>7863675
>claims privileges
>be ginger

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>>7863679

>>7860859
i suspect the answer is yes
t. straight ftm
however, keep in mind translesgen is permanently dead and mtfg is pretty transbian anyway

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>>7863681

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>>7863685

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>>7863687

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>>7863688

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>>7863689

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>>7863691

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>>7863689

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>>7863696

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>>7863694

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>>7863699

Help me. I've been an on-off recluse for about 2 years. In that time I've realised just how unhappy I am with the body/role I was given in life. Now I'm here in this room with a closet full of women's clothes and I don't know what to do.

I've made a few attempts at buying men's clothes (online and out in the real world) and the stuff just doesn't fit right. I find it insanely hard to find anything.
I used to have short hair but it never looked masculine. I just look unkempt now. Well to me I do, to others I look like a regular girl.
Getting hormones just seems insane and dangerous to me and doesn't seem like an option for many reasons.

I don't know how to deal with this. I live out in the sticks somewhere in Germany, it seems like I just need to accept life as a woman (just typing that feels shit). That's probably going to mean insolating myself even further. Why am I not ok with myself, I look good, I just don't look like a man. What is this shit.

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>>7863700
>>7863702

>>7863704
Post face bby

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>>7863706

>>7863704

Step 1. Baggy clothes
Step 2. Get on T
Step 3. Discover the gym, and discover that lifting weights is your new life
Step 4. Sort your diet out
Step 5. Repeat for about a year or so
Step 6. Find that your body is something you're more comfortable with
Step 7. Now start thinking about what style of clothes you wanna wear

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>>7863706

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>>7863712
>>7863717

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>>7863721
found your bum

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>>7863727

That is indeed my bum

>>7863731
Cute bum

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>>7863731
You didn't do your squatz'n'oatz

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>>7863738

tyty

>>7863741

D-DOING THEM NOW, DAD

>>7863745
Now be my bf

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>>7863750

But I have a gf

>>7863754
Stop lying

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>>7863758

IS THE TRUTH, BOSS

>>7863762
Gf (male)?

>>7863715
Baggy clothes just make you look autistic. Not the way to go.

Discovered the gym in my teens. Without roids it's not going to make me more masculine. Had decent muscles before, looks good but not male. Now I'm just skinny, less muscle, just as feminine looking. My diet is fine.

So I'm at step 7 minus T. What good would it do me to shoot up this 5'4, broad hipped body with testosterone? I can't lie to myself like that.

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>>7863768

Nope, gf (female)

>>7863773
Dump her

>>7863773
feminine benis doesn't count

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>>7863772

It'd take away fat from your hips, allow for the muscle mass you want (alright, not roid amounts but that's always an option too senpai), and give you facial hair and a deeper voice

>>7863776

Why?

>>7863777

She actually has one of them not-penis things I've heard about. Dunno what it's called. I've been here so long all I know is penis.

>>7863778
Its called a strapon and I'll date you instead of her

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>>7863790

But I love her

>>7863795
I'll make you only love me

>>7863801

I doubt that you big gay

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>>7863808
Just try me

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Today I fixed a shelf. What badass thing did ftmg do this fine Sunday?

>>7863849

my s/o is always the one who does shit like that... i didn't do anything really today... spent a little time with my niece, she asked me to play guitar for her so i did

>>7863817

I am

>>7863849

Seared and slow cooked a brisket cut of beef with caramalised onions and garlic in a beef and soy sauce stock.

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>>7863887
>Seared and slow cooked a brisket cut of beef with caramalised onions and garlic in a beef and soy sauce stock.
You're hired. When can you start.

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>>7863887
*kills your gf*

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>>7863860
If you played music you did do something today. You also paid attention to a rugrat. That's also a thing.

>>7863896

Do I have to wear clothes?

>>7863898

u tak that bak

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>>7863909
>Do I have to wear clothes?
nah

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>>7863909
I won't stop till you love me and me only

>>7863907

i guess i look at things like that as the equivalent of making coffee in the morning or something... i play nearly every day so it's whatever, and playing for my niece isn't much different than playing on my own... she mostly just dances around while i do and then maybe wants to stum a little while i hold down chords and tell her what chord she's hearing a few times...

whenever i see her i pay attention to her... gonna plant some seeds with her to germinate them later so she can watch plants grow and shit... she liked playing in the garden with me last year and she's older now so she'll understand it better

hoping i can meet up with one of my dealers later, just for weed... still off heroin, haven't had a cigarette in like 4 days either...

>>7863898

now you just have to kidnap him, make sure he develops stockholm syndrome and he's all yours

>>7863971
Exactly. I like you, anon

>>7863975

i like you too...

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>>7863983
>:3 are you a cute masc boy?

>>7863997

the first part's subjective, but nah i'm not real masculine... besides there's only room under your bed for one person

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>>7863909
Never wear clothes. I'll lay siege to your ass.

>>7864019
Ill try to see if my closet has space desu
>>7864366
He's MINE

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>>7864403
He belongs to whoever fucks him first, he'll be claimed property soon

>>7863849
I woke up before noon on a day I don't have to work.

>>7857075
NEW FEMALE TO MALE DISCORD
https://discord.gg/KExXfPW

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>>7864443
Im gonna fuck him so hard he won't be able to walk

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>>7864538
Then how will he cook?

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Theory: AAP FTMs have a female digit ratio. Trutrans FTMs have a male digit ratio.

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>>7864620
Sir, sir. I can't check. All my digits are covered in fur. Halp pls.

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>>7864538
I'll meet you there, fist you in front of him to assert dominance, and then proceed to destroy his sphincter so much he'll shit himself for the rest of his life

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>>7864620
Feels good to have a trutrans 0,90 ratio

>>7864555
He can take a breather for a while
>>7864696
Bring it on

>>7864620

Feelsgoodman I must be TruTrans™ So far your theory checks out.

>>7857075
source on the op pic?

>>7864847
Got it from Bored panda. Try googling the filename and see where it takes you.

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I made banana Ice cream. Who want's some?

>>7857075
can you be trutrans if you didn't know as a kid.. i was feminine but only because i wasnt allowed to be masculine. but always felt like a boy doing girls stuff out of obligation. i pass 100% and im pre t. bi but prefer women (so mostly straight). just wondering i guess, reading about this AAP HST trutrans stuff & pretty confused about where i fit

>>7864403

you won't even have to kidnap me if you leave a trail of pills and mini alcohol bottles...

>>7864620

my index finger is shorter but how much is supposed to make a difference anyway?

>>7864460

i never have to work, but i always wake up somewhere in between 5:30-6:30 am... go to sleep around 11pm-1am usually... wake up a few times during the night... i wish i could sleep late or like a normal human

>>7864555

i used to know this obese shut in chick who would have her bf bring her everything to prep food while she sat in the living room and then she'd have him just throw it all in the oven...

>>7865237

what's in it? is it just banana?

>>7865439
Trutrans is a meme, you can be trans if you're AAP or HSTS. The question is whether transition is worth it for you or not, which is regardless of AAP/HSTS.

Bi but mostly straight is still more AAP than HSTS.

>>7865439

i knew since i was a kid, but being trans is a matter physical dysphoria not how masculine or feminine you are... it's not about fitting a gender role, and honestly i know some people disagree but i don't see how sexuality matters unless shit that isn't physical dysphoria is going on... i'm bi too...

>>7865439
aap/hsts is 4chan nonsense that nobody outside of this board takes seriously because they want to categorise straights ftms as the only real trans and everyone else as basically women with a fetish

if you feel dysphoria, you feel it, end of story. you'd be best off talking to a real gender therapist, not these armchair specialists

>>7860859
Eh nah, I get along with gay, straight and bi ftms all the same. Where the difference lies is if they're like regular dudes but trans, or if they're still kinda girly (in interests and personality). I've been in a few ftm discord groups and a lot of people, when they're from 4chan, are basically just trenders in denial. I get a lot of flak for saying this, but I don't really care. It's usually those kinds of people who cause the most problems in groups too.

>>7865505

what exactly does hsts stand for anyway? i know it's some gay shit, but yeah... for some reason when i read it i auto-edit it into "health at any size"

>>7860880
MTFs have a higher tendency to segregate more because they're really nasty with with other (and everyone else) and love to destroy each other's self esteems. It's like they have nasty and toxic attitudes towards everything in life. Whether or not they pass since to have little effect on this.

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>>7857075
>just found out taking out your wisdom teeth makes your jaw look smaller
>mine are coming in beautifully
>:)

>>7865505
>because they want to categorise straights ftms as the only real trans and everyone else as basically women with a fetish
Neither is more real trans, whatever that means.

>>7865520
>Where the difference lies is if they're like regular dudes but trans, or if they're still kinda girly (in interests and personality).
Is there any correlation between that and orientation?

>>7865540
Homosexual transsexual, which is triggering because it's implying natal gender though it's theoretically accurate.

>>7865541

i have a transchick friend who i met on 4chan (i've met her irl since then) who had to leave the scene here cuz she couldn't deal with the way they treat each other... apparently they're not as bad elsewhere but she generally avoids other transchicks cuz of that... she thinks it's just a matter of warped late socialization + insecurity

she's cool though, i have legit love for her...

>>7864471
expired

unless it's OFF or hugbox

>>7865619
Yeah, can someone please post a current link?

>>7865561

i still have all my wisdom teeth, a couple just aren't in my mouth anymore...

>>7865613

i can't even with the "triggering" shit... it's retarded, and i don't normally think people need to be punched but...

how is natal gender offensive? are we supposed to just pretend that being trans doesn't come with being born fucked up or some shit?

>>7865476
>but how much is supposed to make a difference anyway?

Having a shorter pointer finger than ring finger is indicative of high exposure to prenatal testosterone in the womb. Since being trans is most likely caused by prenatal testosterone masculinizing the brain in the womb, having something that tells you whether or not that was the case for you can be helpful in determining if you're trans or not.

>>7862137
Optional: have your army buddy "accidentally" shoot you in the bits

>>7865645
It's respectful to acknowledge transition, and so defining orientation by their transitioned gender. Ftm into girls = straight, etc.

>>7864620
I have male ratio digits. Nice.

>>7865564
>Is there any correlation between that and orientation?
Not from my observation. Well actually hetero ftms tend to feel more tryhardish than gay and bi ftms, but not always. But this is just talking about more masculine FTMs who have been on T for a few years already and have molded in a male lifestyle.

>>7865684
The ratio of index to ring finger length varies more across countries than it varies between genders in the same country, though. So if you want to apply this to yourself, you'd have to look up the typical ratio for your country or ethnicity.

>>7865684

i meant: "how much of a difference in length is supposed to matter?" i know the idea behind it works, i was just wondering... my ring finger is longer, but is it just being longer that does it or is there a measurement?

>>7865561
>tfw wisdom teeth are impacted
>fear of dental work
>power through the pain

>>7865695

oh i just assumed when you said homosexual that it meant a transguy who likes guys and a transchick just who likes chicks... and when you said "triggered" i assumed you meant like the people who lose their shit if you acknowledge that being trans means you're born with something wrong with you and shit...

if that's the opposite then it's disrespectful sure, but still... getting worked up every time people are disrespectful especially on like 4chan though is fucking retarded...

>>7865769

that shit can get infected and cause worse problems + getting your teeth pulled isn't bad, i opted to stay awake cuz if i could i'd do that shit for any surgery (i don't like the idea of being put under... though i've heard i missed out not saying yes to the gas) the needles to numb you barely feel like anything, and then you're numb after + they usually give out percs for it so it's alright... it's a little boring and staying still sucks, but other than that it's whatever especially in comparison to doing it yourself...

i've pulled my own tooth before and dug out everything after with a pin, and that was without anything to numb it... and that sucked worse than a dentist, but it wasn't as bad as it sounds just really bloody...

>>7865753
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digit_ratio

tl;dr you measure both fingers, then divide the length of the index finger by length of the ring finger.

For 95% of the men they looked at in one study, the ratio was between 0.889 and 1.005, for 95% of the women it was between 0.913 and 1.017. Mean for men mean 0.947, mean for women 0.965.

>>7865786
You're right. The reason people get worked up isn't the acronym though, it's the idea behind it, which is that there are two distinct kinds of being trans. A*P being one of them gets people worked up too.

>>7865859
on one hand the ratio is closer to equal (but not) than the other where its way lower, what does this mean lol

>>7865859

.942 ...guess that puts me around average male ratio

thanks btw i would've never read the article

>>7865904
The difference is usually higher in the right hand. But in general, it doesn't mean shit because the overlap between men and women is so large. Most of the range could be either.

>>7865835
What the fuck, man?! Why dig your own tooth out?! God, it hurts just thinking about it

But, fuck, I had a couple fillings done and had some kind of panic attack both times. Shook like a leaf and went almost out of body. And I all too often still feel shit even with numbing, no way they're going to pull anything out using that stuff. Dentist said to get to them if it gave me trouble like 3 more times, it has but I'm not telling them that.

>>7865890

yeah but again... to an extent being trans comes with that kinda shit, people thinking shitty things and saying retarded shit... at a certain point developing thicker skin is necessary

i'm not saying those ideas aren't shitty, they are, but acting like a bitch doesn't change people's minds...

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I don't have the most masculine looking hand but here's mine

>>7865949
>heroin addict

>>7865991
Even so! How fucking out of it have you got to be?!

>>7865952
The hate for the typology is because they see it as spreading lies. They probably don't want to change people's minds, just to create enough stigma that people who believe start keeping it to themselves.

>>7865997
>asking why a heroin addict does something crazy

>>7865949

i didn't have insurance at the time, it was a filling that came out and cracked my tooth when it did andit kept getting infected... can't take antibiotics constantly, couldn't keep slicing myself open to make sure the infection was getting out too + and i was working, paying rent etc but i didn't have the money to pay for that shit after all of that so i figured fuck it and did it myself... what else was i gonna do? i was tired of it so i used what i had in the house, i got it all out though years later there wasn't a trace of it when i had an xray done

it really didn't hurt bad, i was so busy concentrating on what i was doing that i didn't feel it too strongly... focusing on shit helps with pain

have you tried popping xanax or some shit first? i imagine that would help... and if you can still feel that shit they didn't numb you enough... i had that happen to me before, it sucked, but i mean... once it's over it's over at least even if it is painful

but beforehand you should make a point of saying that the numbing shit doesn't work well on you so they give you more

a lot of pain for a short period of time isn't as bad as dealing with frequent pain for a long time anyway... i get being scared but it's better to take care of that kinda thing

>>7865997
He's constantly high and/or drunk, so I mean..

>>7865991

i did it sober actually, i wouldn't do that shit high... i've also been clean for 3 weeks, and i've been using opiates on/off for 15 years but it hasn't been 15 years straight my worst binge was 5 months straight pretty much

>>7865997

you shouldn't be out of it at all if you're doing some shit like that, way too easy to fuck that up... i tried to get it done professionally, even went to the hospital at one point cuz the infection got pretty bad... kept getting antibiotics which wasn't gonna fix the problem so i fixed it myself

>>7866000

i get hating it, but when you say "triggering" i picture a very specific, very unhelpful reaction

>>7866063
>i've also been clean for 3 weeks
sure you have buddy, sure you have

>>7866063
Yes, the reaction usually is just claiming it's wrong plus an optional personal attack. So triggered describes it well.

>>7866068

clean from heroin yeah, i've smoked weed and i drank but i haven't used... i moved out brooklyn to clean up, went through withdrawal all that fun shit

i have no reason to lie, it's not like i'm ashamed of it and i would use it if it was in front of me, think about it constantly... but if i were to take a drug test right now unless it was a hair test i'd only fail for weed

why would i pretend to be clean? what good would that do me?

>>7866074

it's the personal attack thing + whining that i typically think of...

>>7866106
you just admitted you smoke and drink

you'll always be dependent on something, admit it

>>7866142
well duh, he has chronic health conditions that make life almost unbearable

good on you for getting clean brooklyn, smoke as many joints as you want for kicking the h

>>7866142

i've never denied that i'll likely always use drugs and alcohol, i know that's true... but i haven't used heroin in 3 weeks and that's the drug that was mentioned

>>7865476
Can we get drunk together, anon?

>>7866154

i'm actually about to smoke a blunt right now with my s/o and our friend... been sober on/off since i got here though and well right before it when i was getting clean

>>7866194

sounds good, how do you feel about whiskey?

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I haven't had sex since my first T shot.

>>7863926
>>7863951
>>7864366

u all need stahp

>>7866308
How long ago was that?

>>7866382
A month in a few days.

>>7866419
You'll be fine, buddy.

>>7866423
I just don't know how to handle girls anymore.

>>7866308
How did you have sex before, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm probably gonna stay a virgin until I get a dick, or at the very least until I pass as a man 100% and can get a good pack and play.

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My butt hurts, does that count as depression?
Really, I just sleep it off or stare at my feet.

>>7864620
One is equal and the other is trutrans, am I actually a nb greysexual demiboy?

>>7866308
>>7866457
Summon a succubus to be your gf. If you ask nicely she'll grow you a dick, worked for me.

>>7866639
Fingers, oral, strapon.

>>7866154

+ i needed to stop, with drugs i sometimes get bad for a bit... i've only ever hit the point of physical addiction with heroin and pcp, but i've binged on other shit at other points i just usually hold myself together better with certain drugs

and with heroin it's hard for me, it's everything i love in a drug x10 and everything i wish i could feel like that all the time... it's my favourite feeling and it has been since i was 15 with other opiates, but it's a lot harder to have in my life... especially being sick

but i can't use my illness as an excuse i used drugs before it... medicating became another way to use them, but i've always been like this... i mean literally i saw some of boy's don't cry the year it came out, i could barely pay attention and all i got from it was how easy it was to get a nitrous high

when i was 10 i heard cough syrup could fuck you up so i tried that... i'd do it sometimes when i was stressed out and just needed something else

so nah i was gonna be this sick or not, it just happens to help symptoms... just feel like that needs to be said

it got bad, my s/o was using too and his sister

there was a point where we were sitting in a car in east new york with one of my dealers nodding off in the car in the passenger seat in front of us, and the other delivering or picking up something... and he'd been handing us free bags and i just thought about how we were only there for drugs and no one should be in east ny if they have a choice especially not in the back of a car filled with heroin...

and i didn't want my s/o there more than i cared about being there, and shit had to stop... we had to get clean and leave and shit fell apart in a way where we could

i would've stayed on it if shit had happened differently maybe... idk... and i could easily get back on it cuz i'd do it if i had access to it and that's probably always gonna be true

i have a drug problem, always will, all i can do is replace shit i use

>>7867016

+ i personally don't count shit like using cough syrup or nitrous as anything that's why i never bring it up and consider it more like i started drinking at 13 pills at 15 and i go from there... younger than that and shit that doesn't count is whatever

i mean i guess to an extent shit like taking way too many benadryl to sleep or taking a few to make the things i like about drinking more pronounced... that's considered abuse of shit, but eh...

>>7867034

+ the last time i drank shots of cough syrup with handfuls of benadryl was when i went through withdrawal... just benadryl and alcohol when i ran out of cough syrup and benadryl after that...

and i haven't touched the other shit since i was 16

Do any of you guys prefer women's underwear? I wear panties under my boxers because I like to feel them hugging my skin. Nothing lacy or super revealing, just plain bikini style ones. I don't know what's going to happen when I need to buy new ones though, I feel like being a guy buying panties would be super awkward.

>>7867288

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4U5qkBk9mE

>>7867315
Well I still wear boxers over top for style and in case of a situation like that.

>>7867288
>because I like to feel them hugging my skin.
Why?

>>7867361

Then you'd be letting Jeff down, because he needed Susie to see the panties.

This really won't be a problem unless you're actually Larry David from 10 years ago though.

>>7867386
I dunno, it's comfy.

>>7867288

i wear boxers if i don't feel like wearing pants and go commando the rest of the time...

>>7867422
Why commando?

>>7867422
What if your pants rip?

>>7867468

i find a single layer more comfortable... i also hate leaving long sleeves all the way down on my arms and turtlenecks... i guess the best way to explain it is i'm neurotic and weird shit bothers me...

>>7867478

i guess i'd hope i had something i could use to cover it... that's not something i think about, why would i? that's not like a common frequent issue...

>>7867513
Funny, I can't stand short sleeves!

>>7857075
Kill yourself.

If you lack balls, you are lower than pathetic beta cuck.

An Hero for relief of depression symptoms.

>>7867594
you are saying no balls = women, no ifs or buts?

>>7867594

Alright, but could test my noose first, I'm bad at tying knots :/

>>7867575

i feel like i don't have enough movement in long sleeves... and i wash my hand so often that they're annoying to wear... if i gotta wear them my sleeves are nearly always rolled up unless i'm outside and it's really cold

>>7867603
Precisely.

If you don't have scrotum, the paranoia of being caught pantless will erode your self-authority.

>>7867594
Balls aren't really that important. They produce T and sperm and we already have normal T levels so it's just sperm that we're missing, which is pretty unimportant 99% of the time.

>>7867628
Without self-authority, you'll lack the masculine swagger.

>>7867628

What if I'm cis and I get rid of my scrotum and just tug my nuts into my abdomen? Is that still male?

>>7867617
Do you notice less movement wish long sleeves?

I'm always ending up with damp cuffs from washing my hands.

>>7867594
I'm not sure what you hoped to gain here.

>>7867604
If only that one cisbro was here to teach you

>>7867628
thank you!
t. mtf

>>7867628
This is true. I'm terrified of people seeing my genitals.

>>7867651
>If only that one cisbro was here to teach you

You have no idea...

>>7>>7867648

not really but they annoy me and make me feel that way cuz they touch too much... makes them seem restrictive and i feel like i can't do shit like play guitar properly

if i wet a shirt while i'm wearing it i need to change...

i wash my hands so much that its bern 2 days since my s/o misplaced the cocoa butter (it's one of the only things that works, i've tried so many lotions and shit) and my hands are already cracking, bleeding, painful to move, and embarrassing to a point where i don't want people to see them... in the span of an hour i might've ended up washing my hands 20-30 times and then i'll do that same thing throughout the day... so nah forearms down need to be free

>>7867726

+ how can you stand wet clothes?

I need help so bad, but I know no one can offer it.
There's this woman I've known for a little over a year, and recently I feel like we're starting to get close. We have so much in common, the same problems, the same fetishes. I really like her. I don't think she knows I am trans. She has never seen a picture of me before, and I know "her type" is huge muscular dudes with big jaws. I know I would never be what she wanted. I can't even fucking have sex because of my dysphoria. I flip the fuck out. I just can't do it. All my past relationships ended over this.

Why did this have to happen to me? Someone please fucking take this away, I can't stand being me anymore, just make it stop, I would give anything to be cis. I'm so lonely and so disgusting

>>7868206
just because she has a type doesn't mean she won't fall for something else. You guys are already cetting close. Who knows what can happen?

>>7866280
Actually haven't really tried whiskey that much, guess Ill have to find out. Do uou mind me bringing my straight crush along?

>>7868206

someone's type doesn't necessarily matter... preferences don't typically mean "only," and a lot of people don't end up with someone who's their type... i barely have a type and i've still dated outside of what i prefer... that kinda thing doesn't make or break a relationship...

i find my s/o attractive, and i know i'm his type but that's not why we've been together 12 years...

her not seeing you and not knowing you're trans doesn't mean either will put her off... i've met people online told them later and had it go well and not change anything when they've had a thing for me

as for the sex shit if you both have fetishes there's still ways to explore them, or you could always have an open relationship so your sex issues aren't a problem... there's more to a relationship than sex, but obviously you can't expect someone to get nothing and be happy about it unless they're asexual... so you might want to reconsider monogamy cuz it'd be unfair in a case like yours...

that all being said this is online, she's never even seen you, and you're getting way too far ahead of yourself...

>>7868868

why would i?

>>7868906
Just asking, didn't know if you would feel awkard. I want to see if alcohol helps him be less straight.

Can you guys start acting more shitty towards people so I stop having to hear sjws praise trans men and group them with cis and trans women instead of cis men.

>>7868206
>same problems
Do you want to improve your station in life? Because being around enablers is how you stay in the same spot and fuck yourself.

Does anyone know how long it takes after top surgery to before its normal and you can touch it and stuff?

>>7868966

why would it make me feel awkward?

>>7868999

a lot of sjws don't like me...

>>7868206
Just do what that brit dyke did and pretend to be a cis guy and only fuck rarely in the dark and use a piece of wood to get her off.

>>7867288
Why don't you just wear tighty whities or boxerbriefs?

You don't have to wear boxers. Who started that meme anyways?

I didn't know Ty Turner has a B cup. Doesn't show at all.
Means that with AAA I can get away without top surgery, just need to strengthen those pecs a bit more.

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>>7865476
>what's in it? is it just banana?
Banana, Madagascar vanilla, dark chocolate and madeira. I got my hands on a tons of bananas so I've been testing out new recipes. This one seem decent. Ate too much though. My tummy feel wonky.

>>7869162
Not him but I wear boxer briefs and if I'm too lazy to pack it definitely looks and feels kinda awkward.

>>7869162
Boxers are kinda uncomfortable, boxer briefs all the way.

>>7869229

sounds good... and yeah you may as well try a bunch of shit while you can... were they a dumpster trip find?

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>>7857075
I used to not like you but now I like you, wtf

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>>7869283
>were they a dumpster trip find?
Ye. Found an epic ton of food, half of it bananas. Also found avocados, plums, tomatoes, melons, raspberries, strawberries, leeks, apples, pears, oranges, bell peppers, and loads of other stuff. Living like a king, my man.
You guys have any luck in the Poconos?

>>7869306

damn, that's cool... especially considering you mentioned not thinking you'd have much luck last time

so far the short term plan is coming together, gonna be a week behind what i'd prefer but eh better than nothing... not gonna find out how the long term will go 'til april, but if everything goes well we'll have something more stable than we've ever had in the past... i'm not relying on the idea or anything my life goes to hell so often i don't expect much but yeah...

i've been sick as fuck though, feeling everything without the heroin + the move itself killed me and i'm still recovering... anything intense like that will set me back for weeks and then me recovering is just feeling about 65 - 75% human

>>7869288
is gehe ftm?

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>>7864620
>>7865859

I don't really care about digit ratios, but does anyone else have a freak hand like me? This subject of measuring just always reminds me, because it's difficult to know where my index finger ends and my palm beings.
Whether it's flat or curved, everyone else's hands seems to have a simple smooth line running along the root crease of all 4 fingers, but my index finger juts out into no man's land like an asshole for some reason. Does anyone else have this going on?
Pic related, a highly scientific diagram courtesy of a four year degree in MSPaint.

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>>7869349
You got arthritis in the family?

>>7869336
Crossing my fingers for long term shit. The stability might help you get back on your feet after all this stuff going on, and then spring and summer comes to that will be good.

>>7869349

my little finger is slightly lower... there's like a bit of a slope where it starts, and the other 3 are about the same... never noticed 'til just now, weird

>>7869377

+ nothing as extreme as your pic...

>>7869370

i can't even look forward to it honestly, the long term thing... just the way my life has been has made me the kinda person who can never look forward to anything in the future... i'm a miserable bastard that way i guess

i am looking forward to spring and summer though, i can't wait for the cold weather to be over... it's fucking miserable i wanna be outside wandering around high trying food i find outdoors

>>7869392

+ seeing more of my niece has been nice though... her and gypsy are cute as fuck together, she has a song that's just gypsy's name that she sings at her and gypsy dances to it

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>>7869392
>it's fucking miserable i wanna be outside wandering around high trying food i find outdoors
Hear hear. I tried going for a run this morning and got smacked in the face by icy winds. Can't wait to be able to hike properly again.

On another note, have you ever tried rhododendron pollen before? It's a very strong intoxicant, but the line between flying and dying is pretty thin. I want to gather some this spring and see how far it'll take me. Apparently the best way to ingest it is to have honey bees feast on them, the gather the pollen-rich honey. Three teaspoons of honey is enough per person, so I have no idea how to measure that in dry pollen.

>>7869410

i went out to smoke and was done with being outside after...

i haven't tried that nah, but i do know about psychoactive honey existing... from what i know there's a few kinds of plants that are toxic if you ingest them without them being filtered through honey, but if you consume them that way they'll fuck you up... belladonna is another one, there's a few kinds of nightshade that can be used in that manner

i'd be really careful if you're not using it in honey form, cuz it's a lot riskier... since the way it's processed in the bee's body is what makes it safer

what's the active chemical in it? btw just wondering if it's something similar to something else... morning glory is another one you can take (i never have... it's lsa, i've heard it can easily be unpleasant so nah), nutmeg (again heard it was unpleasant so i never tried)... you can smoke sage, it has thujone in it (same thing that's in wormwood... i've had sage and wormwood i don't care for the high, it doesn't last long and it's a bit like a bad weed high or a low dose of salvia... my s/o thought it was alright) idk if you've tried that or not, but if you're ever bored and have 15 minutes to kill it's worth a shot... i've done it a few times

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>>7869443
You're right. It's risky. I didn't know that bees could filter poisions like that.
This is what I found on Rhododendron:
>. Xenophon described the odd behaviour of Greek soldiers after having consumed honey in a village surrounded by Rhododendron ponticum during the march of the Ten Thousand in 401 BC. Pompey's soldiers reportedly suffered lethal casualties following the consumption of honey made from Rhododendron deliberately left behind by Pontic forces in 67 BC during the Third Mithridatic War. Later, it was recognized that honey resulting from these plants has a slightly hallucinogenic and laxative effect.[70]

So it depends on the type of rhododendron I believe. They probably produce different types of poisons, and in different potency. Too bad I don't have any bee-bros to test it with.

Nutmeg I've tried. I like it, but it gives a bit of nausea. Never tried sage. Should do that next time. You guys have tried a lot, haven't you?

>>7869157
I don't know, maybe because you don't know him. When and where do we meet up btw?

>>7869465

yeah it's pretty unexpected how it works... my s/o, his sis, and i have had long discussions about how cool it'd be to raise bees specifically for that purpose

actually knew that bit of greek history, my knowledge of history is generally limited but drugs and torture tend to be shit i know about... drugs for obvious reasons + i think old torture methods are pretty fascinating which is probably just the morbid curiosity that goes along with being raised catholic hearing about martyred saints all the goddamn time as a kid

i wouldn't say i've tried a lot, there's plenty i haven't tried, but i've done a fair amount of shit... my favourite legal high (though its legal status is in a lot of danger and nonexistent in some cases) is kratom, it's very similar to an opiate in terms of sensation, but it's not actually an opiate and the plant is related to coffee... but i know about more than i've tried cuz i find drugs interesting and know people who will try fucking anything... like my s/o's sister has tried virtually everything including experimental chemicals and shit

i'm a bit more cautious than that i have shit i won't touch or conditions when it comes to trying other shit... i'll try any downers no problem, but i'm more cautious about uppers (i'd never touch meth, avoided adderall cuz i've had so many people tell me i'd hate it... i might try crack if it was there just cuz it's such a short high and i think coke is ok for parties and shit) never had shit like lsd or shrooms (i would, but i'd prefer to have xanax or something on hand to go with it just in case i don't care for it) and i'm just sorta like "if it happens it happens" never had dmt either or molly, but the drug i'm most curious about that i've never had is actually ketamine, if that shit was in front of me i'd take it in a second, but that's one everyone who knows me well tells me i'd love so i trust that i would

my s/o's tried everything i have + adderall

>>7869488

i don't know you either though... so what difference would that make? there aren't many better ways to meet people than by drinking or smoking with them anyway...

you'd have to come to the poconos though or brooklyn...

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>>7869620
Sounds swell, valid point too.
can I stay over after?

>>7869634

as long as you don't kill or steal anything i give a shit about sure...

>>7869647
Nice I guess im an American now. Can I steal your heart though?

>>7869762

in the literal or figurative sense?

>>7869819
Figurative, although I wouldn't mind it literally if you're into that kind of stuff

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>>7869507
Sorry about disappearing. Belly ache turned into sickness. I guess I'm not okay with bananas anymore.

This seems like a great reason to get bees. They are also awesome in any other way.

Yea, I've heard a lot about kratom and it seems like opiate's rather chill estranged cousin. I hope it doesn't randomly become illegal here. Highs aside, it has done a lot to help pain patients and that should be recognized.

Agree with you on uppers. They tend to do a lot more mental damage and I'm too much of a bundle of nerves. I even have problems with coffee. hallucinogenics interest me a lot, but I haven't had the chance to try any.

Ketamine I haven't heard too much about, other than it being a tranquilizer. Is it a pain reliever?

>>7869846

not into the literal sense, as for the figurative couldn't tell you that without knowing you...

>>7869850

it's cool... you feeling any better now or is it still bad? i'm having a fucked day too... hurt my back picking up a laundry bag that's a little more than half my size and was stuffed after having a bad night (kept waking up feeling sick + sleep paralysis) and a shit morning to begin with... so it's a nice addition...

what sucks is now i can't crack my back properly, and i do that shit all the time cuz it helps relieve some of the dizziness and numb sensations i get... as long as i don't suddenly move or sit i'm alright enough though

yeah it's fucked what happens with shit like that... i'm one of those "all drugs should be legal" kinda people though, but yeah the chronic pain shit makes it even dumber that it's illegal... especially when it's a safer opiate alternative

i drink coffee pretty much every day, but any kinda intense upper puts me off... that being said my s/o's sis can't handle coffee but likes coke and meth so fuck of i get that...

it can relieve pain yeah, but that's actually not why i'm so curious about it... for me it's just that i love downers and it's one i haven't had

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>>7869347
yes

female name:
youtube.com/watch?v=DeFklhbpw8k&t=280s

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>>7869962
It's gonna be fucked for a while I think. It usually takes a week or more for my bowl to normalize.

A laundry bag? Old man tier right there. How many pains do you have daily? The dizziness and numbness affect balance much?

Your s/o's sister does meth? damn, son. How heavy does she use?

Let me ask, you say you want to legalize all drugs. That with no limitation at all? Like legalize meth? How do you think society would change if everything became legal? No judging if it sounds that way, I'm just curious about your views? I'm pro legalization on a lot of things but put the line on certain heavy material. In my opinion, if no limits were there then productivity would be destroyed in society.

Is ketamine a common drug? Isn't it used as a rape drug too?

>>7870079
*bowel

>>7869156
You can touch it like a week after surgery, but it's not going to feel good. You have to lightly clean yourself and apply whatever scar shit you're using.

I'm currently one year post-op. I still have very visible scars. My nipples ache at random and my scars feel kind of uncomfortably tight, but I can touch them without pain. I have very little sensation in my chest though so I don't particularly care to touch it.

>>7870079

that sounds like it's gonna suck

yeah it's up there with needing a cane sometimes... not really frequently just really bad days

i get worse a couple days before it rains, and really bad when there's storms... my body will get all fucked up and then things hurt like fuck or don't work properly and the dizziness gets really bad

it affects my balance pretty bad those days... but usually it's just that i need to crack my back and it'll relieve it and i can move and the dizziness goes away... i get enough warning usually that doing that doesn't affect anything, it's just that during storms i'm not my version of 100%

my balance is relatively good though, but i've since i was a kid i've probably built that shit up... i used to do shit like climb the sides of staircases when my mother would take me on walks and walk around on the park wall along curbs and shit to make walks with my mother more interesting than her talking to a friend... even now when i get bored i'll do shit like that + playground equipment, playing on a balance board, wandering around in parks and shit on trees that fell down...

and i used to do shit like use toys i had to make shit to climb around on and run across cuz just playing with them was boring

so when i was a kid i had gotten to a point where i could walk on a basketball for a bit... i got hurt like a million fucking times getting to that point and i'd probably fuck my shit up if i tried that shit now

i also used to wedge a bat between couch cushions cuz they'd hold it steady, and the couches were a good distance apart where it was off the floor... and i'd stand on that and run across it

anyway i'm lucky i did all that shit then now

the numbness is shitty but i'm used to it, i can function anyway unless something is just not really working, but that's mostly bad during the rain too

but it's supposed to rain here and it's my fault for being an asshole and doing something like that with the weather like this

>>7870079

+ anyway i'm a good candidate for living with this longterm... but i'm gonna feel it all to varying degrees every day, but cuz of the kinda person i am living with it progressing slowly is pretty

she hasn't frequently and not in a long time to my knowledge a few times...

i figure if all drugs were legal and people just knew how bad they could get most people would stay away... if the law is the only reason someone isn't trying something like a drug with a low likelihood of getting caught they're not plenty of people

not to mention there's plenty of people who don't drink frequently or to the point of addiction + alcohol can kill you... lots of people die from or cuz of it

but most people don't... so why would meth be different? do you really think most people would be on meth if that shit was legal? i'm 3 weeks clean from heroin and i wouldn't touch it

i think combating ignorance about drugs would be more helpful in curbing the use of some drugs and the amount of people trying them

i don't think criminalizing drugs helps any of the issues that come along with them... not to mention there's a lot of already things that people put in their bodies that alter them and have side effects

people can use illegal drugs safely, and they can also really fuck up with them but that's the same as anything legal

so i think if should be a matter of personal choice

i don't feel like a government should criminalize the states of mind a person can experience

+ most people don't get addicted to shit like that even when they do try it... some things are more easy to get addicted to than others on a physical level but most people don't seek out altered states of mind daily

+ criminalization doesn't prevent the rock bottom points that an addiction can hit, and instead just adds jail time for use and possession all it does is harm people

>>7870434
+ that's getting into another subject though...

and i could see how it'd be used as one but fuck if i know... a rape drug i mean... i wouldn't do it around people i didn't trust anyway

>>7870455

+ which is what anyone using it should do...

and it's not common but drugs aren't usually hard to come by if you want them enough

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>>7870287
Fucking awesome. Yeah it's good you did stuff like that or you would probably be even worse off now.
Dude, what's the biggest risk about you lifting or running with your conditions? Does it give you more pain, break down bone or muscle, or something? I know you've mentioned that your doctor adviced you against lifting, but that's about it.

Is the numbness about nerve stuff or cardiovascular stuff?

Are you seriously calling yourself an asshole for doing stuff while it rains? I mean seriously?

>>7870434
>but most people don't... so why would meth be different?
Most people never touch severely addictive substances. Meth alters the brain receptors a lot faster than alcohol.

>do you really think most people would be on meth if that shit was legal?
I think a lot more people who are generally weak shits when it comes to addictive stuff would try it, not to mention it would be a lot easier to get hold of.

>i'm 3 weeks clean from heroin and i wouldn't touch it
but if it was heroin you would. You couldn't stop yourself most likely.

>i think combating ignorance about drugs would be more helpful in curbing the use of some drugs and the amount of people trying them
Very true, but the key is some drugs. Not all drugs are equal. I mean people demonizing weed are ridiculous, and this comes from someone who despises the stuff. Information is always better.
Agree with you on the legal/illegal hypocrisy though. Alcohol being legal while so many less destructive drugs are demonized.

I don't agree with maximized government control but I think with drugs, all drugs, there should be drawn a new line. Some stuff should be legalized, others legalized but under controlled distribution. I hate the idea of government babying people, but in reality most people are too stupid for their own good. There are a lot of people that would get addicted if they got drugs available to them.