I want to kill myself, so I guess I should just go on out and

>>7850475
In August of 2016, I found a Discord group of people I could finally call my friends. No one was MtF like me, but I still had and am having good memories with these people.

This is where I met my boyfriend. He's the only person who has ever given a shit that I want to crossdress and be a girl, and I think he's the only person I have ever really loved.

Only problem is, he lives on the other side of the planet. It's going to be another 4 years before I can see him irl, even then it'll be for a few weeks ago.

And my main goal is to crossdress and eventually be a true MtF, but no one will let me.

What's the point of living anymore?

>>7850486
>no one will let me
When you're 18, find a job and move out. No one can stop you if you're financially independent.

You have personal issues, not trans issues. You are 90% likely NOT to be an actual transgender person, you're somebody looking to escape a shitty life by being someone else.

My suggestions are as follows
>get edgy and be goff or punk rawk or whatever, scare the normies until they leave you alone
>finish school
>move the fuck out of your house, get a place w/roomies
>get into regular therapy with a good trauma therapist
>continue to CD and do whatever girly shit you want, you do you
>DON'T make serious moves towards actual transition until you are stable, dealing with your personal shit and can separate your feelings from your actual medical needs with real support

>>7850506
I know that- but I don't want to be alone in this world either. I don't doubt for a minute my mother would disown me if I did it. And then who else do I have, in real life?

>>7850516
How can I be sure if I am trans, anon? I do feel like a girl a lot... but i guess you know more than i do about this

>>7850520
You said you had friends and a bf. I wouldn't call that alone, even if you don't know them IRL.

>>7850546
It's the only other reason I haven't killed myself yet honestly

>>7850557
to clarify i dotn want to let people down

>>7850527

cross dressing is pretty normal, as is role play, but gender dysphoria is clinically identified as persisent, insistent and consistent, meaning that you experience feelings of true dysphoria no matter what the situation or context.

put it this way- if your life was perfect and your situ was great, but you still couldn't function because your body was distressing you so much, and that was interfering with good life choices, you're trans.

if you're life is shit and you can't make good life choices, but your body distresses you so much you cant make functional/survival-based life choices, you're trans

if your life sucks, and you feel better being a girl, but you still make rational choices about optimizing your immediate outlook, you're not trans, you're doing something to relieve your stress. please always do that. I lived with a roofer that liked to dress up in lingerie and have his GF fuck him up the ass.

if your life is great, and you are making the right choices and you CD, you are not trans, you are indulging in your lifestyle preference, which is also fine, but you are not transgender.

if you experience significant dsyphoria across any of these scenarios no matter what and nothing helps, then you are trans and need medical intervention
>tl:dr if your life is fucked up cuz you're a tranny, u r a tranny

>>7850647
I always thought the dysphoria was part of the depression I have- I've been thinking about ti everyday for years now but it hurts me. I guess maybe i should figure other shit out before really looking to see if I'm trans then? Either way, I'm gay and like looking cute

Just kill yourself, you disappointment child.

Your mother bought you with a high price so she can have a boy but you turned out to be a beta boy. Do her a favor by killing yourself so she can have another new child. What a wasted investment. I feel sorry for your mother.

>>7850689
thanks

>>7850676
>I'm gay and like looking cute

>nobody in the entire history of the universe has ever felt similar
>oh wait basically every gay guy on earth

>>7850475
http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaFe3nGhdGI

>>7850647
>if you're life is shit and you can't make good life choices, but your body distresses you so much you cant make functional/survival-based life choices, you're trans
So I'm trans? If i transition will my motivation for improving my life eating well/find a job/social life come back?

>>7850691
If she wants a girl, she'd just get it from random guy via fucking around as how it normally done and she don't have to pick the gender from the sperm. Since it's paid, the chances are she can select the gender and expecting that. She should demand her money back. Seeing you living out of disappointment is like when your favourite song turned into a rubbish broken record that hurts your ears and was forced to listen to it. A never ending noisy night, I might say. Dig your own grave and gassed yourself of bleach, sulphur and ammonia. It's for the best.

>>7850783
i mean

you arent wrong

>>7850843
So? What are you waiting for?
.
.
.
Unless.. you fake your own death and live somewhere else with a new life. Just don't expect that you'll be happy because the guilt will always live within you but you can manipulate it.

>>7850769

if that is your central issue, yes, it will.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

>>7850924
Because I DO have a few things to live for. But everything you say is still true, and that's where the conflict is.

>>7851013
yes