Cognitive dissonance and contradiction in fantasies/fetishes.

I'll start

>Thing I believe
Porn shouldn't profit off promoting slurs or false stereotypes about trans people. It should celebrate all body types and identities.

>Fetish/Fantasy
When looking for porn, always seek out content using the term 'shemale' because it's most likely to be consistent with my fantasy of a caricature sexy trans pornstar with huge fake boobs and apparently permanent erection having her way with me and fucking any remnant desires of being masculine out of me.

>Rationalisation
There is nothing wrong with fantastical, larger than life fantasy material in porn if there is a clear attempt to delineate between fantasy and reality and no attempt to pass it off as real.

>Things I believe
Rape is a disgusting criminal act that should be punished with death when it can be proven beyond reasonable doubt

>Fetish/Fantasy
BDSM is where it started. Soon I was into fantasies of prolonged rape and torture.

>Rationalisation
It is okay to want to do bad things so long as you do not do those bad things, and it is healthy to explore these dark sexual urges in fantasy.

>Thing I believe
Gender equality.

>Fetish/Fantasy
Any kind of sexism happening to me.

>Rationalisation
Equality doesn't have to apply to everyone.

>>7834836
that's just 'shemale' being the label the porn has. you can't search 'trans porn' when the sites all say 'shemale'

>Thing I believe
I'm straight

>Fetish/Fantasy
Traps

>Rationalisation
Not gay if it's a feminine penis

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>>7844428
>I'm straight

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>>7834824
>belief
Rape is disgusting, thoroughly unforgivable, and utterly amoral. Patriarchal attitudes about pressured or forced gender roles are a real problem that foster resentment, misinformation, and violence within society. It's also wrong to treat trans women like they're inferior, or that they only exist in this world for cis peoples' sexual enjoyment.

>fetish
I like dominant men and assertive tomboy/butch women who treat me like their favorite pet, buy me things, take me places, make me walk hand-in-arm with them, pressure me to act submissive and docile in public, and punish disobedience with what could be considered verbal, physical, psychological, and/or sexual abuse. Also, rape play where I get restrained, brutally raped/beaten, and emotionally destroyed until I'm crying in the fetal position.

>rationalization
I was raped by my father when I was very little and grew up in denial while he emotionally/physically abused me and regularly stole my property. I forgave him when I was old enough to fully understand what he did. To this day, he remains a major part in my life while the emotional abuse continues and he constantly searches for reasons to demean or condescend to me whenever we communicate. I'm mentally broken in that respect, so my sexual fantasies reflect that. Also, BDSM-centric relationships are consensual so the "abuse" that happens during those sessions isn't technically "real" unlike what my dad did.

>>7844673
How do you still associate him if he abused and raped you?

>>7844673
>I was raped by my father when I was very little and grew up in denial while he emotionally/physically abused me and regularly stole my property. I forgave him

what in the hell?

>>7844673

LOL

>>7844720
>>7844823
He's a very pushy, loud, narcissistic, and manipulative guy who would undoubtedly make a drawn-out public ordeal over how I'm a terrible child who abandons her elderly father as his health begins to fail him. I also don't want to go public with claims of sexual abuse that I cannot prove over 20 years after it happened, and no one gives a shit about emotional or physical abuse from parents in this society behind closed doors. That's just a pop-culture meme. In the real world, it's all about respecting "tough love" and "traditional parenting." I've never even confronted him about it, because I know he'll think I'm going public and royally fuck my life on multiple levels with his legal connections. It's something he's done many times including the last time he stole expensive property from me. He called my mother the morning after the argument and claimed that I tried to attack him physically, that he was about to call the police and a few of his lawyer friends, and that I should be placed in a mental health facility his close friend runs. Then he blew up my phone with voicemails about "parental concern" and my "unhealthy mental state" to set the stage, all before I woke up. He needs me to be his therapist, cheerleader, friend, and emotional punching bag or he falls apart with loneliness and self-hatred. It's why he gets so manipulative and melodramatic when I try to distance myself or cut him off.

The only time I talk about this stuff outside of therapy is when I'm anonymous and it can't get back to me in real life. I told the few people who know I was raped that it was a random neighbor who is already doing 20+ years for murder multiple states away. But that guy just molested me once, and didn't rape me. The people I've told don't care enough about me to do anything about it anyway, so it's a moot point. I wouldn't have told anyone in real life anything besides my therapist, but I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown and it slipped out.

>>7844673
Assuming you're a guy, are you even sure you're gay? Being raped and abused that young can really fuck with your sexuality later on.

>>7845199
How could he do that to you and then just carry on pretending to be a normal father?

What does he steal?

>>7845283
Probably mtf.

>>7845199
This still doesnt explain why you still associate with him at all. In fact it only makes it even more confusing since he apparently is still giving you emotional abuse. Why don't you just get the fuck away from him? He cannot possibly manipulate you if you move far away, change all your contact info and start over. Escaping him is NOT impossible, you've endured him this long, you can and should get away.

>>7845283
I'm not a guy, and I'm bisexual. I'm well aware that abuse can fuck up someone's sexuality, hence my fantasies about brutally unbalanced BDSM-centric relationships and rape play which aren't exactly normal.

But honestly, that's just fantasy. In reality I simply don't date people anymore. I used to, but I realized that I can't trust anyone enough to be that vulnerable to, or to fulfill my physical or emotional needs, especially on a level that is necessary for a healthy BDSM-heavy relationship. Plus, no one in their right mind would ever want to deal with my level of broken on a romantic level.

>>7845380
>How could he do that to you and then just carry on pretending to be a normal father?
Some people are just like that.

>What does he steal?
Things of mine that he wants and he can get away with taking. Some big, some small. Most recently it was a used car that I bought under my mother's name to avoid the massive insurance premiums for young drivers. He kept on saying that I couldn't take care of a vehicle and told everyone he knew that I was a bad driver who got into countless accidents that never actually happened. Then, during summer break in college, he had a major car accident and said he needed my car to get to the doctor and the lawyer. Fast forward a few years and he still hasn't given it back. He refers to it as his car, his sweet ride, etc. except when it breaks down. Then it's my piece of shit car that I never took care of.

>>7845413
I'm just not one of those strong, assertive people from Lifetime movies, really. I deal with it because I have little to no means of moving away at this point. I'm broke, unemployed, trans, I dropped out of college because I couldn't commute to class anymore, I don't speak to any friends I used to hang out with out of shame, and I've become a massive neet shut-in. If I don't break down and cry when I wake up or go to sleep, it's a good day. I hope I move eventually, but he'll probably die before I finally do.