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Anonymous
Is there something wrong with me? 2017-02-21 05:26:39 Post No. 7795859
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Is there something wrong with me? 2017-02-21 05:26:39 Post No. 7795859
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I'm 18, figured out I was gay not too long ago. Haven't really talked to anyone about it.
Although I can't really feel okay with it for some reason. Like feeling somewhat suicidal sometimes.
I just think I'd feel betraying to myself if I ever 'came out' to my parents or ever had to introduce a boyfriend, like i'd obviously be the bottom or lesser or something. I don't really know why I feel this way, was bullied a little for being "gay" in middle school, didnt really care back then but just makes me feel worse now. Even thought I was into girls but realized I just wanted to be friends.. Just wish I was straight mostly.
I think I'm fairly attractive too, I get a lot of attention from women, but I just feel inadequate when I never have any feelings for any who try to hit on me. Feeling even worse when I get feelings for a guy I see..
What's wrong with me? Is it because I feel submissive? I feel like shit right now..
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also should mention i think my parents know i'm gay but i'm too much of a pussy to actually talk to them about it..
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I've had pretty much the same experience as you, only I actually dated girls in high school, and for real just let the stigma roll off you, and it's not easy it'll take a while at first, a year after I finally "understood myself" I still couldn't even say 'im gay' outloud, it was a whole lot retorical arguments with myself , trying to convince myself that wasn't attracted to guys, but I just liked the sex, then it was I'm only into "some" guys, then it was okay I'm definitely at least bi...And so on. For real just start telling yourself the truth, then (eventually mind you) you'll be able to tell someone out loud, and after that point the stigma pretty much roll off you, you'll stop caring as much (granted you should tell someone you trust).
When I told my friends they really didn't have more than two words to say about it, it's not that big a deal for everyone else but you, trust me that's been my experience.
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>>7796296
but i dont want to be..
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>>7796505
maybe. i guess im just in a bad place right now
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>>7796505
also really insecure about what my parents would think
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>>7796808
This is called, "internalized homophobia", bro. I recommend speaking with an LGBT supportive therapist, avoid religious organizations, and work on accepting yourself.
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>>7798784
how is it internalized homophobia?
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>>7798784
unsure about talking to someone irl about it too
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>>7802249
Find an anonymous website/hotline, these are people that won't judge you, you don't have to go to someone irl if you don't feel like you're ready
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