I know that it's going to kill me eventually unless I nip this in the bud, I've been at this for 7 years and nothing seems to get rid of it totally. It doesn't matter how many positive passing experiences I have with cis women and cis people in general, it never ever goes away for very long, maybe a few weeks at most. Is there any way to make the money I need for surgeries, relatively quickly? I think that might help, but it's just too costly....
>>7673369
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in suffering"
like she did
it will never get better btw
>>7679804
Yeah.... You're probably right.
But I might be okay with that, as long as I find a purpose in life outside of me, outside of my body. I need someone to love, I need something or somebody to fight for. It's all becoming too repetitive and... empty. I just need something to make life bearable.
Around the 7 yr post mark I had this powerful realization that I'm just a small part of something much bigger. Also FFS kinda helped.
anyways, try exercise, employment, nutrition, and artistic expression. Sure you'll be fine with life in no time.
>>7673369
Are you seeing a psych? You're supposed to talk to someone while transitioning. Just transitioning and not receiving any kind of support won't be optimal for your mental well-being.
Transitioning helped me a lot, but my attitude have taken me most of the rest of the way. In short, don't obsess too much over how pretty the prettiest of cis girls are, focus on the feminine features that YOU have. And maybe try to see the positive side of some of your masculine features (I'd rather have more feminine shoulders, but several people have told me they make me look like a model so I have come to accept them.)
In before I get told to go back to Susan's.
>>7673369
>positive passing experiences
see a psychologist to fix your BDD
>>7679947
Well, I thought I had a powerful realization after my last attempt, but then I had a bad experience that made me feel like a bad person again, and I started tumbling backwards...
>Also FFS kinda helped.
I need it. I would do anything. I'm even willing to go into sex work if that's what it takes, even though I may be a bit too old now (early 20s).
>>7680055
>Are you seeing a psych?
Not since three years ago, she went on maternity leave and I've never had the motivation to see one since.