So if the Internet didn't exist would i still feel this way..?

>>7615930
Well first why do you feel female?

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>>7615948
I really don't know..

The way i feel towards men, and the way i feel towards children..

With men i want to feel protected and loved by him.

And i'v always loved Children, i dream of being able to give birth to my own kids... buuut it didn't work out that way... with me being a guy and all.

I guess there is more... it's just hard to translate into words, if someone gave me the button to become a normal average looking girl i'd probably break the button i pressed it so hard..

>>7615977
Do you think internet has done something that may have change your feels?
Or it just showed you that trans people existed and what you feel may be that?

>>7615988
Well the way it started is that a long time ago i pretended to be a girl as a joke, but after that joke it stopped being a joke, it's like my brain switched into a different gear and it just stuck that way..

I wonder if these feelings have always been there and i some how just brought them up from the dead with something as simple as pretending to be a girl... or if i'm like stupid or something idk..

>>7615988
I mean do you think it's strange..? am i just fooling my self somehow or you don't know? sorry, just not sure what to think about my self.

MEMETIC

>>7616073
Memetic?

>>7615930
yes

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>>7616082

>>7616133
Yes what?

>>7616139
And i'm still lost what a Memetic is...

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>>7615930
Probably not. I'll never know if I could've just shrugged off homosexual feelings. Maybe it could've been a phase if it weren't for modern society coupled with a bad upbringing which created me as a socially deformed robot.

Pic related.

>>7616059
Well I don't think internet changed anything, you would still have gender dysphoria imo.
People who fell for the meme are mostly tumblrians / redditors / whatever you want who need to feel special and different, or people formatted by weird sorts of porn.
But still before doing anything spend some times understanding what can / can't do transition and stuff like that.

>>7615930

How much time do you spend on the internet anon?

Are you a gamer?

Do you have IRL friends you meet and interact with on a regular basis?

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>>7616157
SCP is a writing board about fake reports of aliens and artifacts and shit ignore him

anyways if you like dressing as a girl and being called one do so

if that doesn't feel right try HRT (it's mostly revertible)

and if that doesn't pan out try gender reassignment surgery and wait for science to make an artificial womb for trans (very likely in the next 10 years)

Also if you're curious pick up a gender quest book or read only of what the processes are and really look into the details of cross dressing and or transition

and most importantly test the waters, experiment with online pick ups (just ask to try it out be honest and just be friends or hook up or whatever you both feel comfortable with) just experiment until you feel happy

P.S I'm currently asking myself the same question and it's quiet the struggle

P.P.S Pack some heat on that hook up senpai even if it's just a knife people hate fags and trans

>>7616238
I spend a lot of time on the internet.

I game some times, i just play lots of hearthstone :P

And no i don't have inly inrl friends... not because i'm so anti social.. even though i am anti social but more because i live in a male dominated society and i don't really like having male friends... soo yea... :/

i use to hang out with this one girl, and i told her how i felt inside... about wanting to be a girl.. and i think it kinda made her mad because i think she liked me as in she wanted to date me.. it's so dumb... why do girls think i'm trying to hit on them... ;__;

damn body, doesn't match anything.

>>7616271
Oh fuck off you brainwashing tranny

>>7616271
I have been taking Hrt, i'v been taking hrt for like a little over 2 years now, i somewhat pass, i'm skinny and i'm naturally not hairy... only issue is that i'm tall, uggg if it wasn't for my hight i could probably pass 89.7%

Because i feel like i look somewhat feminine.. i'm just tall -_-

>>7616300
if she likes just dressing up and whatever that kewl

but Im not a pusher man let her do her and you do you

knowledge is power mother fucker

also the graph shows it's best to make the choice in your 20s or teens but not past or near 30 or you basically won't pass

>>7616285

Okay so before I start, its worth stressing that I can't tell you what you are, and neither can anyone else no matter how forceful they are in there opinions because at heart, no-one one understands completely the gender issues that we deal with. Gender is a question without an answer, and in this uncertainty you have to somehow find your life.

Transwomen seem to fit into two (arguably three) groups. Early transistioners are those who exhibit marked gender non-conformance from pre-puberty. Mid to late transitioners are those whose discomfort starts more often after puberty and will transisiton in their early 20s or later. Neither is more "true" than the other, because we lack a way of evaluating this. Its also arguable whether this is important at all. As someone who spends a lot of time of the internet and is perhaps less sociable, you fit some of the stereotypes around mid--to-late transistioners. Whether social alienation and living in virtual environments is a cause or effect of trans is not known, however its worth trying to be more sociable and irl for a while (go for a run in the woods, join a club or whatever you feel comfortable with), to see if it changes how you feel. If not, and you still feel trans well at least youll have more skills and hopefully friends to deal with the world as a transitioning transwoman.

Ultimately I share a lot of the preoccupations about the internet / virtual lives and its relations to trans as you do. Currently Im going to counselling to treat my social anxiety and depression so I can interact more with people. Social isolation is a horrible thing and it can cause so many different ailments, so I wouldn't be surprised if it has some sort of effect on our genders. All I can say, from one confused person to another, is that I hope you can make sense of your life. Experiment with things and dont let yourself be bound by other peoples ideas. Good luck :)

>>7616394
>>7616271
Oh great now I'm anxious and suicidal about life again

>>7615930
Probably not.
>national pride
largely an invention of the late 1700s and early 1800s but it feels real
>pondering the meaning of life
A modern question that didn't exist before the enlightenment.
>body odor smells bad
Doesn't seem like most of humanity cared prior to plumbing and invention of deodorant.

It's easily possible that your gender dysphoria is to a large degree socially constructed. That's not to say its not real: if you didn't wear deodorant, you'd really smell bad.

>>7616406
I'm sorry anon, I don't mean to make you feel despondent. Life is difficult, but it has always been so. There's no reason for the world. Yet despite all this people are happy and content, they look forward to waking up and seeing the sun rise. They do not possess any great secret. Happiness exists as much for you as anyone else, but its up to you to find it.

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>>7616394
I have a lot of demons inside my head, hell maybe i'v got real demons inside my head who knows lol..

Not a day goes by where i don't think about my Gender, some days are worse then others... like for example today i'm feeling alright, got a decent amount of sleep, woke up and ate Breakfast and i feel alright... get on the internet browse a little on /lgbt/ and decide to ask this question...

But just 2 days ago i woke up at 2 in the morning for no reason, all worked up about me being a Guy and not a Girl, i'm praying to God in anger and hatefulness, and after that i drag my self through out the rest of the day then i get drunk and go back to bed and do it all over again..

I get so mad sometimes i just want to stab my hands and feet with a knife and i just want to blow my brains out, and sometimes i get extremely sad, cry through out the day..

And sometimes i get scared i'm just somehow tricking my self into this line of thinking, maybe if it wasn't for this isolation and the internet i wouldn't feel this way... then i feel like that's my inner male trying to get out then i get SUPER pissed and start punching my self for even considering that i was even confused...

Bottom line i know i want to be a Girl, not sure why, just do...

But damn this road is so hard.... i just want to be a normal cis-girl and do normal girl stuff... i hate reality so much sometimes, it's so not fair, so not fair, so not fair.

Hell exist and i'm living it..

No friend's not Bf... just me and darkness, and my Therapist on Fridays...

I need to go find a swing to sit on... swings make me feel better.

>>7616545
>And sometimes i get scared i'm just somehow tricking my self into this line of thinking, maybe if it wasn't for this isolation and the internet i wouldn't feel this way... then i feel like that's my inner male trying to get out then i get SUPER pissed and start punching my self for even considering that i was even confused...

This is very relatable for me. Its easy to shoulder the blame ourselves, I think because this is what isolation itself leads us to. If we were in the world, maybe we would be able to better see the interconnectedness of everything and see how the gender-confusion relates to it. However, we're trapped in our fortresses of alienation (self-made or otherwise), and can only see ourselves and so can only blame ourselves. But ultimately as you say..

>Bottom line i know i want to be a Girl, not sure why, just do...

I think you hit the nail on the head here. This is the reality of our lives, in all its awkwardness. We have to simply move forward, sit on swings, find some way to exist in the world. I personally am least alone in the woods, with nature, or doing gardening work. I like that the plants can exist and be beautiful without the mess of gender.
I think a lot about Matthew 22:30 "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven." Which I take to be because they are genderless, like the angels. So I hope that one day I can rest and not have to worry about gender things any more. Or who knows anon maybe you will be like Sarah, who after 80 years of waiting, was finally gifted a child by the lord?

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>>7616765
I'm sorta shocked, i was looking over my message and i read where i put "God" and i started thinking to my self... oh boy... i'm in for it now.

But i happy to see you know certian scriptures.. Yes i also like that one in Matthew.

I also like the one in Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.”

All i know is that i'm tired of the darkness, and i try to lean closer to the Bible... no i'm not sure God exist.. but sometimes.. i feel like he does exist and that he does care.

Not sure how God views me... maybe he views me as a Man or maybe he hopefully views me as a Woman... but like you said, the Angels are not bound by Gender, but they're just beautiful.. a wonderful thought indeed.

I know death will come for me soon enough, so i guess there is no point in getting angry, because i know one way or another i'll be happy.. i think..

Also yes, i love Flowers and plants.. they're all so wonderful and interesting, the woods seems like a nice place to be... to bad i'm not near the woods :P

I did live in Wyoming years ago when i was very young... but not anymore... wish i lived back there.. nature is so wonderful.

>>7616875
That's a lovely passage anon. Its nice to meet someone else on the intersection of the genderconfused/christian/4chan venn diagram, which surely can't be too big! Its late where I am so I'm going to bed, but I wish you well, and hope you find the strength to continue. I hope we run into each again :)

>>7616875
>>7616476
I'm scared