Hmm... no partner can be lonely. But everyone has concerns about their looks. No one is perfect so don't get hung up if you notice something you think is a flaw, chances are other people dont notice it.
>try to take control of life
>exercise, doctor, socialize
>present as hon for first time
>brain decides feeling too good
>impending doom sense triggered
>spend next month alternately locked in room and binge eating
yeah I don't know if I can keep up this pattern much longer. even though I'm probably the closest i've ever been to seizing control of my life. it just seems impossible, especially if my brain interprets positive improvements in my life as an existential threat and I succumb to overwhelming depression/anxiety
i have a meeting with a new therapist in the morning at least
as long as i don't fuck up and become homeless at the end of this month i'll keep slamming my head against that wall
but if i can crack the code & focus on my self-improvement long enough that I can have a functional, sustainable life involving social/romantic interaction, physical activity (hiking/cycling/etc.), educational/intellectual development, and creative/artistic pursuits i'm gonna make an incredible person
kind of shitty that i'm such a pathetic mess of a human though
need to vent
>haha sam you're so annoying I hate you xD
>i am le : ^ ) randum funny friend bonk bonk
>pretend I don't want to die cause everyone thinks that and hurt my feelings a lot
try a secret hobby/skill. secret so you can get good and have reasons to be confident before you share with your friends so you don't get all anxious and weird about it. you need something else to focus on in your life, developing a talent will give you something compelling instead of le randum bullshit.
it's worth developing a few close friendships and maintaining them.. hobbies that you can do together can help with that too
trust me it just gets exponentially harder to make real friends as you age
Sadly I doubt anyone can relate to you here it is tho I wish god allowed me to die in birth it's like a cruel joke. My mom asked me why my voice is so deep the other day she said you used to sound like me. Fucking end me.
>thought I was trans and posted in passgen regularly
>actually wasn't trans but just liked cosplay
>satisfied with being a man now but terrified because my pictures are on 4chan forever
I had a mini mental breakdown when this finally hit me (and still feel awful). My privacy is compromised and I was a fool for believing that 4chan was at least partly anonymous.
Can anyone relate?
mood swings? it can be ridiculous, from suicidal to euphoric, my life is in total ruins but when it feels good I don't care
I just need friendly happy people to feed of but Ive been alone forever and online socialization barely helps
Family i can understand most are stuck with a 1950s mindset when it comes to this shit but friends freaking out dude it 2017 cosplay is everywhere and crossplaying is extremely common dump the normie friends.