Need some advice and direction.

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I dunno, anon. I think you're just a generally curious guy, but nothing in your post screams "gay/trans". Unless you're deep in the closet, I'd say you're just a regular dude who might be a little bi.

Ask yourself these questions
>Do I feel especially uncomfortable in male-only spaces? e.g. bathrooms, locker rooms, public showers
>Do I generally relate to women more often than men?
>Am I uncomfortable in my body? If yes, are the reasons why directly related to secondary sex characteristics?

If you answered yes to more than one of those, I'd look into experimenting with trans stuff. Buy some panties, sit down when you pee, just try easy things and go from there. You know yourself better than anyone else, so you have to put the effort in to discover what your truth is

Either way, good luck and God bless

>>7550248
I've always pee sitting down. It's just more comfy, like why should I stand because I have a dick?

I hate public restrooms of any sort. In higjschool I would alway feel anxious while changing in a lockerroom and when I was particularly antsy, I would change in the stalls.

As for relating to women, I'm not so sure. I was raised by women however. I have a strong connection to my mother, sister and grandmother.

Now, feeling uncomfortable in my body? I don't know really, I don't know how i feel about it. That's why I was hoping I might get some pointers to where I could research this more.

>>7550144
You're welcome to explore here and talk with us. I don't have anything to say that isn't generic garbage. Don't just talk here though. Go on other places that aren't as shit as 4chan to get a well-rounded perspective on yourself.

>>7550302
I appreciate the sentiment above all else.

>>7550295
>Now, feeling uncomfortable in my body? I don't know really, I don't know how i feel about it
This, to me, is an indicator that it's unlikely you're trans. I'm not a professional (though psychology is bullshit anyways, just buy a copy of the DSM and ta-da, you know about as much as they do), but GID is more often than not inextricably linked to a remarkable discomfort in one's own body. Indifference is typically a cisgender thing.

GID aside, you're 18. It may not feel like it since you're the oldest you've ever been, but you're still very much in that "experimenting with personal expression" phase of growing up. Do you feel like your depression undoubtedly stems from your sexuality/gender identity? Depression can come from a variety of things like your environment, diet, sleeping habits, social engagement, it goes on and on. Take an inventory of your life and its routines and try to think about what you can do better by your own measure. If you seriously suspect you're queer, you're young enough to get involved with a local queer youth group. Look one up and attend, and just try listening to the people there and see if something clicks. Chans and other websites can be helpful, but sometimes it helps to just see another living person talk about shit you're going through that you otherwise think you're alone on.

Don't overthink it, anon. Just follow what feels right and be open and honest with yourself.

>>7550456
>Indifference
Thats not exactly what I meant. I meant it in a way that I've only trully started thinking about this recently and I'm not sure who I feel about the concept as a whole.

My depression has been consistent to this very day even after so many points where I thought I had come to a revelation in where it comes from. If sexuality and gender do not define my depression, they are a surefire cog in the machine.

Like, if you were to tell me I could become a cis female tomorrow morning with no side effects, I would say yes in a heartbeat. But that's the thing, does that even mean anything?

>>7550524
I mean, it might. I dunno, anon. There's no easy diagnosis to determine whether or not you're gay or trans or whatever you are. That's something you have to figure out for yourself. Like I said, I wouldn't overthink it. If you're really itching to find an answer, you won't know until you make something tangible happen. Go flirt with a guy or buy women's clothes, or try doing your nails/makeup, etc. Thinking/talking about it can only take you so far.

Tl;dr
>Do something tangibly queer
>Assess results
>?????
>Profit!

>>7550568
Right, no point in letting it drive me up a wall, yeah? I got to do shit and see for myself.

Thanks for the advice.