I want to vent

>>7499577
One time he had sent picture of his penis over KiK messenger once, and he asked if he could see mine. I was obliged and responded with my own. He showed great interest in having an encounter with me. I was very reluctant at first, since I didn't want my family to know. I waited for the opportunity, for a time no one would be home. One week in August, my sister had gone for a trip to the snow and I knew my parents wouldn't get home until the latest parts of the afternoon. After school, we walked over to my house. I couldn't tell if it was the nervousness or the cold that kept me from getting hard, but he gave it a try anyways. In the darkness of my bedroom, I was in disbelief that it was happening. I was very uncomfortable and after much fondling and touching we stopped, since it was time for him make his getaway. Afterwards, I wasn't sure if I had enjoyed it at all.

Months passed and we started visiting each other more frequently. Sometimes we would have a sexual encounters. By the year's end of 2014, we could be considered together. I had shared many of my thoughts and feelings with him and got quite attached. I enjoyed his company. Things were pretty swell for a while until things got a bit sour when he started getting depressive. He started speaking to me with cynically and pessimistically. Even getting manipulative with threatening to harm himself lest I do something for him. One day, I broke down in tears in class and spoke to a teacher personally about my friend and my concern for him. They had contacted the councillor and he was put on antidepressants. It worked for a while, but then he began abusing them by taking large doses. He had an incident after doing this once involving his parents where he'd provoke an argument and he ran off. He called me to get him picked up and we took him to our house. He stayed for a few hours while I kept him occupied. The police came to see if he was alright and so did his mother. He refused to see her and his-

>>7499874
-father. It had started getting late, so we took him to his place tried to get him to negotiate with his parents. He still wouldn't co-operate with them and walked out. He stayed overnight at our place in a fold-out bed.
Another incident happened when he wanted to run away, but with no intent of coming back. He came to my house in the morning on a school day, before I had even got up. We had an exchange at the door and he started to leave when my mom asked me what he was doing. I panically told her that he was trying to run away... he walked back and my mom spoke with him. I had to get ready for school, but mom got his parents to pick him up and they took him to a doctor. They just prescribed more anti-depressants and he was given a handful of sessions at school with the councillors.
2015 met it's end and we hung out more frequently, though things descended rapidly again with the beginning of the school year...
He was no longer taking his medication and a small encounter with some of the younger students had left him angered. He started on a homicidal tangent, saying that he would want to kill them and if he couldn't he'd harm himself. 2 nights later he spoke to me and in a condescending and threatening manner about how he was going to kill himself. I was incredibly panicked and called the police. I took off on my bike into the night to get to his place... I saw some officers leaving the driveway, asked them if he was okay... I saw him sitting on the porch, two officers standing infront of him. I dropped my bike and ran over to him, hugging him tightly and crying... I couldn't believe it. We waited for an ambulance to arrive and I gave silent glances towards him as the paramedic asked him questions. We waited in the ER for several hours and small talked for the while. We were then escorted to a space in the nearby ward, the doctor asking more questions... I ended up sleeping in the narrow hospital bed with him.
By the time it was morning, my mom was-

>>7500004
-calling worried. I was told I still had to go to a ball practice session and I had to leave before V was admitted from the hospital more than 3 hours later. He was prescribed more antidepressants from the hospital; still no psychologist.
He often chatted online in various groups. A significant one was an IIRC when he befriended an awkward and also depressive middle-aged man who had a peculiar fetish. He often joked about him and his fetish, and he had even participated in roleplays with him. One day, his mom had called me, wondering if he had gone to my place, saying that he'd told them he went cycling. He obviously hadn't and I first thought that he had ran away for real. He later got home and told me what had happened.
He went to that man's home and performed sexual acts in the man's favour.
I was stunned. Why would he do that? Was it for the thrill? He was fortunate that I was forgiving and told him to never do it again. But it left it's mark on him, and he felt very regretful and began loathing himself. I contacted the man through the IIRC and discussed the implication of what had happened. He gave his apologies and wanted to help. V continued talking to the man until he decided to leave a note for the man at his door giving a good-bye, but even then it was just a blank shot. He still talked with him anyways, but about his health and all.
I'm not even accounting for the amount of times he's deleted his accounts in his brooding depressive episodes... He kept doing it over and over.-

He started arguing with me over trivial things and was getting more manipulative until it apexed when I refused to comply with him and he started attacking me at school. He pushed me to a wall and I broke emotionally. I left in tears. I went to the library and told some of the teachers what had happened. I was sent to the councilor and back. The sent him to the deputy office.
The next day I had moved from some classes. After a class we shared was over, he snatched my bag and ran off. I spoke to a teacher to get my bag back off him. He did, but without the items that had emotional value to me; my sketchbooks and art supplies. I asked the teacher again and he got them back. He asked about the conflict that was happening between me and V. He wanted to have a civil discussion between him, V and myself to sort things out the next afternoon.
The next morning, V was very hostile. As I waited in roll call, he came into the room, small talked with other peers and kneed me in the back, cursing at me as he walked out again; no one cared to notice, save one person I was talking with when he hit me. After roll call, he was standing in the hallway. I tried to walk past him, but he shoved me towards the wall. I kept walking as he continued trying to stop me. I got out the door when he held me and tried to hit me. I escaped his grasp as he threw a glancing blow as I ran off.
I ran to my class, putting my face into the table and breaking down in tears. A learning support teacher noticed and took me to her office. She asked me what had happened and then filed a report. V was again sent to the deputy and was to be sent home. I was sent to the councillor.
The most stupid thing of all is that the deputy principal trusted V, known to him with a suicidal past, to go home by themselves. A few hours later, V's middle-aged man friend contacted me to ask what was happening with V. He sent a picture that came from V and it was a some unknown location. He had run away on his bike.-

>>7500317
He eventually decided to reveal his location and had the police find him more than 20km away from home. After this I didn't want to talk to him for a while.
I'll continue more later, I have to do some chores.

>>7500337
On second thoughts... I don't think I'll continue like this and I don't need to go through every detail...

To put it briefly; I'm not sure if I should continue this relationship with V. I question why I like him... I feel it in a more romantic and sensual way not a sexual one even though we have been doing more sexual things... He's very open and honest..
We've had hard times and there have been times he's been abrasive and depressive... and this really feels threatening to our relationship since character is what this relationship depends on.
I'm not even sure if or how I could follow through with a homosexual relationship since I have a religious upbringing of Russian Orthodox parents. I don't want them to know.

I'm not sure what to do... I've been invested for so long that I don't want to give up...