/bi-gen/ - Bisexual General Discussion: Advice Edition

>>7461895
Reminder the Discord is filled with a bunch of vain cunts

I have a crush on a lesbian friend of mine. She thinks I'm straight. Actually, I still think of myself as (mostly) straight but I feel like suddenly a train hit me and now I can't stop thinking about her romantically. How do I let her know this without making it sound like sexual curiosity? My fear (besides making our friendship weird) is that she'll think I just want to use her to play around a little bit but I'm here like genuinely scared of the intensity of what I'm feeling.

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I'm in this weird phase where I don't know what I am anymore: I'm not aroused by anything, and I'm not sure if I'm just straight & lonely, or just closeted gay. Or bi & depressed… I do have dated/fucked girls in the past and it was great, but I only have crushes on guys these past months. Am I just faking it? Am I being delusional & fooled by weird fantasies? etc. Distrusting my own feelings is def weird.
I guess I just have to wait this phase ends: being obsessed by naked guys and/or flirting with women was fun.

>>7461895

Top/bottom/or vers? - with women, I always feel like I need to be in control and, additionally, I have some pretty fucked up S&M kinks that only really pertain to women (asphyxiation, for instance). With men, I could go either way but I get off more on the submissiveness associated with being penetrated. It's a bit bizarre, I know.

>>7461897
Only plebs use bicycles

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>>7464175

>>7463449

I'm the same tbqh

A few weeks ago I was lying in bed one morning feeling really horny and I started opening up to the idea of having sex with a twink (I'm a 23 y/o virgin). I set my tinder up to include men, and there were a lot of traditionally attractive guys but none that personally attracted me or whom I could imagine having sex with.

It could be that I like to imagine myself being the "protector", i.e. in bed she sleeps with her head on my chest, I'm the big spoon, etc. It's possible I filter most guys based on this fantasy, as it is difficult to imagine this dynamic with somebody who is as tall as I am (6 ft 1) or more muscular than I am (I'm pretty skinny).

What do you think guys? Am I bisexual or just desperate? Maybe I'm just looking for a reason to feel or an explanation for feeling estranged from society.. Afterall, I do browse fucking /lgbt/ of all boards.

And if I am somewhere on the spectrum, is it supportive of the lgbt cause to come out? Or is it just annoying if somebody who iis clearly attracted to feminity to come out as bi?

>>7466239

Who wouldn't want to cuddle a cute twink?

>>7466239

You're overthinking this man. Not everyone is completely 100% straight or gay. Sexuality can exist on a continuum. I'm pretty attracted to both masculine and feminine traits so I don't really have the same problem you do tho.

>is it supportive of the lgbt cause to come out?

Probably, but at the same time it is more difficult.

>>7466239
I think if you drop the concept of "twink", you could find plenty of guys who would bottom, cuddle and want to feel "protected".

Anybody else feel like they get on better with lgbt people and specifically bi people than with het people? Do L G and T people feel this way too or is it a B thing?

Anyone who has a whisper of lgbt in them I am immediately drawn to. I feel way more attached and closer to these people than """ordinary""" folks. Legbutts and bis specifically seem way more open and welcoming in general (note: not necessarily more interesting tho).

>>7466651
It's because they're based on tolerance and think that there is an "LGBT Community"
So yeah they like legbutts

>>7466651
I find most of my favourite friends are LGBT. Not sure why exactly, we just seem to share more interests, ones which stray from the norm.

>>7466651
Yeah, I mentioned that I feel drawn to the lgbt community in my post. It's different irl though; one of my closest friends is closet homosexual, and it feels weird interacting with him because he's a forever alone dude with a defeatist attitude. Other than him I don't know any lgbts. I think I might feel more comfortable around other lgbts though.

>>7466239

On the Internet, it is easy to find guys who look super girly. IRL, most guys, unsurprisingly, look like guys. Even gay men. On dating sites, you probably won't find the super pretty types, as it is easier for them to find dates IRL. As a result, you are going to find less people that you would like.

>Am I bisexual or just desperate
So this really depends upon how we define bisexual. If we go by the literal definition, which is same/opposite sex (attracted to people with penises and people with vaginas), then yes, since you are attracted to at least some men, and I'd be willing to bet you'd date a transgendered woman. If we go by gender (attracted to people who identify as a man and people who identify as a woman), then we can also say yes, but we can disqualify people who are only attracted to cis women and trans women. In theory, we can also go by attracted to both sex's features (that is, attracted to both masculine and feminine types), in which case, you would not be bisexual, because you only like effeminate men. And while it can sometimes feel like you're expected to like all types of guys to call yourself bisexual, I do not know a single person who uses that definition.

I'd say you're bisexual. Maybe you'd fit on a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale, since you're only attracted to women and effeminate men, but that's okay. Think about it like this: would anyone who is heterosexual say you are heterosexual if you slept with the twink of your dreams? No. Would anyone who is homosexual say that you are homosexual if you slept with the girl of your dreams? Also no. So clearly, you do not fit into either camps. You're clearly not asexual too, so if we take the logic of Holmes that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains (however improbable) is the answer, we can safely conclude that YOU, ANON, ARE BISEXUAL! Congrats.

And no, you don't have to have a big coming out party, or even come out at all if you don't feel like it.

How do I turn a straight guy bi for me? He's my best friend but he's got a girlfriend, I want him to at least be attracted to me.

>>7461895
Bisexuality is just a phase
Grow up and move on

>>7471239
This kind of thinking is the biggest reason why people think lgbt is a mental illness

>>7466239
You just need to find the right girl

Work out and get your testosterone fllowing

>>7471302
Sexuality is a just a phase
Get old and die

>>7466239
You don't need to officially come out to be supportive or part of the community. With that said, remember that the reason coming out was ever considered a big deal was because 1) proving that we existed - making sure as many people as possible has a "gay friend" means they're more prone to viewing us as human beings and not just stereotypes or boogeymen. 2) One queer for every brick. There's strength in numbers.

Also, just, in general? You don't need to pinpoint your sexuality, man. You can just go slow and like who you like, eventually you'll get a decent grasp on who's worth your time.

>>7471187
Well argued. I guess I'm bisexual then. Still feels weird applying that label to myself for the reasons you mentioned; I only find a small subset of a specific type of guys attractive, whereas I find myself attracted to a very wide variety of women. Nice to talk about these things anonymously though. Thank you for taking your time to help me out :)
>>7471319
I do wish I had a gf, and I'm making babysteps towards becoming more social. Still have so much to learn though. I do work out though. Working towards bulking out of twig mode. Doing the starting strength meme.
>>7471351
That's probably what I'll end up doing. If I ever fall in love with a dude I'll come out, but I really want to give vaginas a shot.

>>7471562
>Still feels weird applying that label to myself for the reasons you mentioned

I think its because saying you're bi implies a strong interest in men, its harder to accept when you don't like many guys. There's no way to differentiate yourself from bisexuals who like normal/masculine guys and date/sex other men regularly.

Adding on to my original argument, there are also men on the other end of the bisexuality spectrum: mostly gay, with a few women they'd break the pattern for. They are just as bisexual as you.

>>7475525
>They are just as bisexual as you.

Not literally though. Its more of a catch all label with many different possible preferences, but the bottom line is we fuck both men and woman.

Im bicurious and want to approach gay communities butnwithout knowing my sexuality, is it right for me to do so, being so unsure id feel bad if i just led someone on and disappointed them

>>7461895
>Have massive crush on guy friend.
>He recently got a girlfriend.

>Be attracted to pretty-eyed girl.
>We talk for a while.
>Lose attraction to her next time I see her.

>Too many flaming faggots at bars/clubs
>Too many vapid cunts at bars/clubs

>Virgin

HELP!!!!

>>7475607
Just be upfront about it. Some people don't want to be involved with someone who's questioning, others are super into the idea of "turning" a straight person.

>>7475663
We're in the era of tinder/grindr/whatnot, just get out there, man.

I'm 20 and bi. I've never been in a real relationship, kind of a virgin. Only been to 3rd base with a girl few times but nothing extreme. We don't talk anymore. Should I find a relationship first or lose my virginity as soon as possible to either a girl or a guy? I don't want to rush but then again I also want to get rid of it. I never have too much time on my hands to involve myself into a serious relationship but I wouldn't mind to. Dilemma. Help.

>tfw you go through periods of being intensely disgusted by vaginas and aroused by them

Luckily dicks are always great.

>>7476905
make time for a decent relationship, blow the v-card there. if youre not too worried about experiencing both egenders at least once, otherwise it might be good to get a few casual fucks in before you end up settling down knowingly or not.

>>7477051
>if youre not too worried about experiencing both egenders at least once

This is what worries me, though. Only thing is that it's obviously easier to find a guy rather than a girl. I know it sounds horrible, but I wouldn't mind cheating on the side solely for the purpose of trying the other gender.