How do I not kill myself the pain is unbearable

>>7445278
Everything will be fine anon.

>>7445315
All past experience has been everything not being fine, with no reason to suspect whatsoever that things will be fine in the future at all. In fact, all evidence and reason tells me that things will only be worse from here.

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>>7445278
What sort of pain is it? tfw no bf/gf? dysphoria?

tell us about it anon ^^

>>7445278
just think about the people, even if it's just one person, in your life that would grieve and be permanently effected by your death

>>7445278
>convert pain into anger and hatred
>project said hatred on other people
>don't kill yourself but live a bitter and sheltered life.

>>7445324
Agonizing dysphoria every day of my life since early childhood

A lifetime of misery with no end in sight

Not even the faintest glimmer of hope that I'll ever be what I wish I was so desperately

I'll never be accepted. I'll never be seen as a girl. I'll never have the body I want. I'll never have the life I want. All that I've endured can never be washed away, and the scars on top of scars have left me as a hardened shell of a person, incapable of experience joy or pleasure in anything.

My mother and girlfriend are the only reasons I haven't killed myself yet, but it's been so many years that the pain of living has finally reached the point where it is worse to be alive than it is to give my loved ones grief.

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>>7445343
I feel a lot like you sometimes, the dysphoria and all that too. Do your mom and girlfriend know how you feel?
Why do you feel like there's no hope in sight, are you in circumstances where you can't transition / worry about passing?

>>7445364
My mom knows. She's been in a support group for mothers of trans children for many years, she basically is disgusted by it. Even though I live as a man, she sees me as a massive disappointment, but she understands my pain and cries for me often. She wishes more than anything in the world that I wasn't this way, and so do I.

My girlfriend knows how I feel as well. She says that I'll pass, she calls me her pretty girl but how can accept anything she says? How do I know she isn't completely and utterly blinded by love? It's gotten to the point where my neverending pain has become her neverending pain. She wants me to be happy so badly, she cries because she feels so powerless to do anything to make me feel better. I'm so sorry for being such a burden to her, that alone would feel like enough to warrant my own death but there's so much on top of that.

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there's no easy answer anon, I can only speak from a personal perspective. I try to stay positive about everything which was a difficult shift to make in my thinking but I feel okay now. I was really cynical and self loathing which looking back was really destructive to my life although I had reasons for it. forgive everybody, give to everyone whenever you can and let go any ideas you have about who you are because they're so limiting to your growth as a person. there's a lot of negativity in the world so just do your very best to be a source of positivity even if it's in really small ways.

also, don't expect anything back. the whole "don't be too nice and let people treat you like a doormat" meme is for normies who care about fulfilling some model life template.

since you have an idea about pain then you have an interesting story to tell and experiences to draw from that most don't have, the world needs that friend.

dysphoria is a h*ck of a condition but try not to lose perspective of the fact that you're so much more than your physical presence!!

By leading a happy life until you die from old age. You can do this. I believe in you.

>>7445359
Cars poster, you're a fucking idiot. Not acting on feelings of gender dysphoria doesn't mean you aren't trans. I hear you repeating this constantly and it's just utter bullshit. You act like people know about trans issues. Maybe now they do but 10 years ago this wasn't the fucking case at all. How is a 15 year old supposed to know what to do? The shame, the guilty, etc all make it so hard to tell someone which is how help gets started. Now a kid can just google but that wasn't always a thing. Jesus. I'm an earlier transitioner born in 1990. I had no clue i was a thing. I repressed till I got caught in a dress when I was 14. My mom was so pissed and demanded I tell her why. She took me to therapy to get me fixed and then I learned about transition.

It's just not a fucking option or even possibility to learn about for the majority of people. Obviously now it's different but shut your stupid chaser mouth.

>>7445343
>>7445397
To ask the obvious.. why not transition? From what you're describing it can't possibly be worse, and it might just work out and make you happy. If you have nothing to lose, why not go for it?

>>7445424
>Just be happy!
Fuck off

>>7445359
Fuck off.

>>7445441
Nah, I actually misread your post as "how do I kill myself" given the nature of the board. My bad.

>>7445278
be cis

>>7445438
This. Are you at least taking hormones?

>>7445278
Be content with what you have.
I know being lonely sucks absolute dick but it seems like a lot of the bitching and moaning on this board is people looking for someone to satisfy their codependency.
Buddhists believe all unhappiness comes from desire and aversion.
I know it's easier said then done, it's a practice I try to practice but am still failing.

>>7445472
>all unhappiness comes from desire
this, t b h any tranny should have achieved this insight within like six months of puberty, dont know why were not all buddha ass enlightened ones really

>>7445475
Fuck off. Take your shitposting somewhere where it won't kill people. I know you're a horrible person but at least don't partake in murder.

>>7445493
Some Buddhists believe people have different "layers" to their being.
>inner self ( the raw you )
>beast ( the animal we all are )
>personal self ( who you see yourself as )
>outer self ( who everyone else sees )
I know there more but that's the basic idea. I imagine it is very hard for a trans person, someone who is literally struggling to galvanize all these levels, to reach much of an enlightenment when they are struggling to elaborate on their own personal reality

>>7445520
but that doesn't stop the fact that buddhism points the way

you suffer extremely, because you desire extremely
the surgery is really at the very best like a person who craves material goods becoming rich and spending tons of money on kristal, rocks and bentleys, it indulges but does not sate
quell all desire and only then you will attain real peace

>>7445438
I'm on hormones, it just feels like I'll never get to where I want or I won't be able to live long enough to make it

>>7445472
You ask the impossible

>>7445568
Fucking bullshit. You can "quell all desire" and still die from hunger. There is only matter, and sometimes someone needs to consume an additional chemical to function well.

A few nights ago I was in a bad place. If I did not have others keep my ammo, I would have shot myself. I spent hours pacing, sharpening a blade and debating walking out into the woods with a bottle of vodka and a knife. It was so tempting to drink my self into a stupor and cut my throat or stab myself.

Guilt keeps me alive.

>>7445583
>You ask the impossible

Ignore the zen shitters

>I'm on hormones, it just feels like I'll never get to where I want or I won't be able to live long enough to make it

So you're worried about aging out basically? That in the time it would take you to get where you want to be you'd be to old to enjoy it? If you didn't age would you stress as much about the whole ordeal?

>>7445583
For how long have you been taking them? Is there really no chance for you to get better over time? What about surgery, cosmetic and otherwise?

>>7445597
I'm glad you didn't kill yourself. Please hold on. If it helps this one internet rando would be disappointed in you if you killed yourself.

>>7445600
>>7445598
It's time. There's a decent chance I'll pass given years of practice and study and changing myself, but it's so far away and the pain is already unbearable right now.

>>7445589
> You can "quell all desire" and still die from hunger.
youre confusing the need for nourishment with desire for tasty food
you can in fact survive on a very simple diet, many people do this every day, maybe a billion, from pure necessity of poverty

the buddha explicitly forbids asceticism by which he includes self starvation for spiritual purposes

>There is only matter, and sometimes someone needs to consume an additional chemical to function well.
literally the opposite of the truth

>>7445615
I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it's like. My dysphoria is very mild. Perhaps it would help if you thought of how you feel as a temporary illness from which you are recovering? A future - a possibly happy one! - awaits you at the end of this. This is not for nothing.

Taking this analogy a bit more literally, there are people who live with various chronic illnesses which cause them a great deal of pain. They use all kinds of techniques, such as meditation, to ease it. You could read up on what sort of things are typically recommended to them.

>>7445631
You only nourish yourself because you desire to avoid the pain of starvation and death and enjoy the pleasure of eating and life. Reason is only ever a slave to passion. Desire is the sole driver of humanity.

>>7445278
Hey so a lot of people arent really helping anon. If you focus on bitter hate, youll hate yourself before long. No things will not simply get better with time. You need to sit down and firgue out why, if you want to kill yourself, are you asking how not to. Spoiler* you dont want to die yet. Figure out why.

>>7445653
>need
>want

>>7445697
So long as you feed yourself you do so because you wish to do so. So long as you live you do so because you desire to do the things that prevent you from dying.

>>7445653
>being so misled by his cravings that he literally mistakes them for the sole reason to live
Yep, you need a hand alright.

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I've been feeling really shitty, just playing grindy games all day to take my mind of it, I dont know what to do

I get turbo anxiety for no reason or just walking to a nearest shop to buy food and no will power to get my life on track (if I knew how)

somedays I feel like I should get on HRT other times I just see no point, Im not going to be anyhting but hon and I wouldnt survive, I dont see point in anything
almost decided to kill myself but I cant be this selffish and cruel to my parents so Im just killing time

>>7445697
>>7445697
You don't really need anything. Necessity requires context.

>>7445731
There can be no other reason. One cannot derive an ought from an is, and in absence of the divine there is no primal ought. We live because we are compelled to by our passions. We frame all of our reasoning in terms of pleasure and pain because without those motivators there would be no reason to do anything at all.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is%E2%80%93ought_problem
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hume

>>7445746
You NEED food and water. This is not in anyway subjective.

>>7445830
You need it to stay alive. If you're not trying to stay alive and you're not planning on doing anything else that necessitates food or water, then you don't need it. Without the context of attempting to stay alive you don't need it.

>>7445278
stop being a dipshit and find things to occupy you're very small mind. Candy's good too.

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>>7445278

>>7445278
>How do I not kill myself
Jump out at most a second story window

>>7452499
>,
>>7452504
>>7452514
>>7452520
>>7452699

samefag

>>7445615
Wow fuck you.
You will pass, have a gf and family, why are you even complaining?

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>>7445278
Force it to recede

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>>7445333
This

>>7445278
Don't try to bear it. Allow yourself to feel and don't chastise yourself for it, even if you cry. You might have to do this every day, or just occasionally. Contrary to popular belief, you don't just bump into happiness or misery. You have to put up with the latter and cherish every single scrap of the former.

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>>7445278
Want nothing and revel in the pain of others!

Not a day goes by where I'm not cackling madly

Just let this thread 404 already