/ntg/ Not Transitioning General

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>>7392435
I dont even have hopes anymore.

Sometimes I come to this board just to check things out but I just try to occupy myself with something so I don't go too crazy.

I live as a hermit already, never leave my room. Waiting for my mom to kick the bucket so I can kill myself without making her sad.

Hope you win the lottery anon, maybe you can sort things out and be happy.

>>7392496
I am in the same boat as you in regards to waiting for my mother to die, it's just me and her and my family is crazy small so once my grandparents die and my mom dies it will just be me left.... I consider suicide an option but I don't know if I would ever go though with it.

I have some sort of emotional issue keeping me from going to the doctor, a lot of anxiety, and mostly a crippling isolation that I retreat to when my depression is on the upswing, which is often. I am not really sure how to build meaningful relationships with people.

I moved away from my shitty family and came out to everyone I met when I got here but lately it just feels like a lot of effort to still end up lonely and unfulfilled.

Fear of sterility, I'm afraid some day I'll bigly regret destroying my ability to have kids. For the past 5 years I've been on and off HRT for periods of like 2-3 months, never long enough to permanently kill my balls

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>>7392847

>>7392435

Do you want a beta or do you think there's no hope of an alpha?

>>7392847

Why don't you just freeze some sperm?

>>7392847
It's kind of a shitty world to bring kids into anyway, doesn't seem like the end of the world to me. I still might freeze some just in case, I guess

>>7393214

I don't know, I feel like an alpha would just be a tranny chaser but a qt beta bf would be happy to have a relationship.

I'm 100% sure I'd make a fucking ugly guy. And then I'd have to do all this medical bullshit and my wife (who's a lesbian) might leave me and then I can kiss any hope of being a semi-normal person goodbye. The inside of my head is a freak show, I don't see the need to invite everyone.

>want to MtF
>5'7"
>20" delt to delt shoulders, biacromial unknown
>narrow boy hips
>absolutely FUCKED facial proportions
>big ass man hands (I can hold X frame revolvers comfortably)
>size 9 feets
It's not like I'm that awful really, there's better for sure and many much worse, but I know there is no way I could ever look female. I wish I could but it can never be. Transition is only for the lucky and the strong.

>>7392435
its a few things that hold me back,
>wide shoulders
>big ribcage
>i have a feeling my hands are ugly
>big feets
>dont wana see the dissepointment in my parents eye
>and i have a square head

>want to mtf
> be 32yo before cutting off toxic people and starting
>5'10" broad shoulders size 11 feet
>nice hips and cute not-too-masculine face, but body skin ruined from former obesity

I think I might be lucky or at least salvageable and intend to go through with transition either way, or suicide. It's not really a choice just the way things are playing out. I wish things had worked differently in my life and I'd been able to start sooner, but here I am nonetheless.

I just keep losing time to shitty executive function/poorly managed depression & for some reason think having a real person in my life that cared (for less than $120/hr) would make a difference.

I don't know what the answer is, but I think you should stay strong and do what's in your heart. Move to a big city and be who you want to be.

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>>7392435
I came out to my mother and said she will never help me.

Now I am trying to get the courage to tell my psychologist about it to try convince my mother about letting me go to a specialized center...

>>7393610

You can take care of her until the day she dies and she might never accept you for who you are (ask me how i know). Find someone who will advocate for you, that might be your psychologist, but your mom isn't acting in your best interest as far as I'm concerned.

>>7393630
My psychologist is a family friend and if it could be a great ally to help me, and I really hope it will, in case I will not be listened by him I plan to pay myself the necessary visits at the specialized center by selling my stuff and maybe get paid for a job, but it's going to slow me down a lot, again.

>>7392435
>don't want to always worry about passing
>don't want to be inferior to all cis fems
>don't want to drop 3-4 points on 1-10 scale
>don't want to lose family/job/work

>trans guy
>not even 5 feet tall yet
>will only be around 5'1 or 5'2 tall
>would be an ugly weird short guy with no dick if i transitioned
>would never get laid
>would never find love

>>7394395
claim you're trans mayan or pygmy or something

and try to get some HGH before it's too late

>want to MtF
>5'9
>wide af shoulders
>big rib cage
>hips are a little wide
>Huge manhead
>Man hands and size 10.5 feet
I would make a exemplary HON. So I'm stuck being this boy with awesome squatting and deadlifting proportions.

>>7394395
its not too hard to find someone when youre ftm, just need to cast your net out wide enough

>>7392435
Well I just started taking hormones. Probably a horrible idea. I don't think I'll ever be able to actually fully transition but I'm just starting to hate my body too much.
I'll basically never be able to take my shirt off again though.... I really have no idea wtf I'm doing desu lol

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>>7394631
>implying they need to be roped in with a net
>like a fish
>like a cat fish
>like catfishing

>>7394395
buy t online (check steroidsourcetalk on reddit for good providers that will ship to you), if you can afford it at all get hgh
you'll be a turbomanlet aiden if you let your estrogen growth phase make you one and you'll never exactly be tall but you can get a much better fate, have skeletal masculinization, and actually look like a dude

>ftm, 20
>tall and androgynous
>potential to get top of the line lesbian/ bi females
>transition
>would be alone for the rest of my life
>no girls or guys would fuck me
>cant be friends with guys, girls, gays or lesbians
>would be thought of as a freak woman on testosterone anyway
>would be cast out of my family completely

im mostly just scared to turn into the village freak, and never be able to turn back into a normal human being
i wish we could just be cured with antipsychotics

I feel like all the ftm/afab enbies I notice around town have partners and most mtf people (that I can spot) are lonely sad broken people like myself

so... go for it. you have a lot better chance to find companionship as a tall 20 yr old trans man than I do..

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>>7392847
so you wanna be a woman but you also want to father kids? thats gross why would u want that

>don't want to be associated with Tumblr transtrenders and asspat culture
>will never have a functioning dick
>will never be taller
>can't live with loved ones knowing I used to be a girl
>especially my long term girlfriend

most of all I don't want to be a "trans man" I just want to be a man.

>>7393501
>>size 9 feets

that's not that big anon

>size 12 feet
>5'11"
>early 30s
>24" skull with prominent cranial vault(skull size autist would love me)
>neanderthal brow and large nose
>scared of FFS and too poor for it anyways
>overweight and prone to obesity
>size 12 feet
>22" wide shoulders(bideltoid) and 47" chest
>terrified of rejection and transphobia
>don't want to lose strength on E
>would rather be an average man than an ugly tranny

I'm AGPscum so I can larp as cishet, been doing it for years. I have moderate dysphoria but I can manage it with weed and distractions. But on the whole in todays society I'm better off being in the closet.

#1, I feel too old at this point (26), #2, I'm afraid of how my relationships would change. I don't think most of my friends would be cool with it, same with my family. Also, I can't imagine looking for a job as an openly trans person.

On the other hand, I've been increasingly isolating myself anyway. I feel like I can't live like this anymore, but also not as openly trans. I've honestly been feeling pretty shit lately.

>>7395663
Pretty much the same for me.

I don't like this valley of broken dreams. Why is life so cruel?

>>7392435
what's holding me back?
>I believe hons and non-passables shouldn't transition in order to improve the image of trans* people in general, hopefully to increase the chance of mainstream acceptance by society at large.
>I am biologically too fucked to transition. I'm only 21, but my body proportions are too large and masculine for women's sizes. The early vs late transitioners myth is busted. Thanks genes!
>I have social anxiety and couldn't handle the stress of looking like an abomination/hon. Finding social support or any meaningful friendships as a hon would be very challenging for me.
>The alt-right has successfully risen and it will soon be declared open season on the LGBT community once Trump and Pence become inaugurated.

Might as well spend the rest of my life as a shy, subdued, repressed, lonely, depressed, beta-cuck male in the closet. Had Hillary been elected instead, I may have taken the leap, but fate has already chosen for me.

cryinginacorneralone.jpg

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>still closeted after over two and a half years on hormones, starting at nineteen.
>incredibly insecure about being a tranny
>I don't even leave my house anymore without a hoodie because the changes are so obvious to everyone
>haven't had a real conservation with someone who wasn't being payed to talk to me in weeks
>wasting my holidays playing wow 12+ hours a day

>>7395916
Did you get any facial changes? Do you... semi-pass with effort?

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>>7395977

>Did you get any facial changes?

Yeah, but it's just not enough. Unless I was passing 110% I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my house presenting as female.

>Do you... semi-pass with effort?

I've never gone out in public presenting as female so I wouldn't know.

>>7392435

I still live with my parents and I've decided to start transitioning when I move in with my best friends in a few years.

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>>7392435
Can't afford it >:(

>>7393482
Ftm are seen as masculine women, your wife wouldnt leave because she considers you just a dyke either way.

>>7396030
wana post a picture of your face?
not gona be mean

threads like this make it seem transexuality is more of a symptom of deeper problems

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>want to MtF
>21 already
>5'8
>wide shoulders, typical male shoulder/waist proportions
>big feet (8-8,5)
>typical male hands
>awful nose
>can't afford to move out, my mom most likely will throw me out because she "hates faggots"
>environment in my country is not friendly, to say the least
>won't be able to afford FFS

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>28 year old.
>Third world country.
>NEET.
>Masculine facial aesthetics
>Tall as fuck thanks to slav immigrant genes.
>Wide shoulders.
>Poor due to being a NEET in a third world country.
>I will be murdered the moment I go out by crazy Catholics that hate fags and trannies.

Doesn't matter if I had dysphoria since I was 11 or so.
Too late and born in the wrong place, buddy.

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>>7396256

I'm kinda scared of posting my face, this being 4chan and all. Here's one of my body.

>>7396030
>Unless I was passing 110% I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my house presenting as female.
you go full time to pass, not pass to go full time

>>7398548

Cis girls don't get misgendered when they wear male clothes. I wouldn't consider myself as "passing" until I can't either.

>>7398559
you can present female while wearing male clothes though

>>7398180
makes me want to die
that's how good your body is
not that anon

>>7398180
Anon please, you've been told before that you have a very feminine body. You're lucky

>>7396304
what would make you say that? I mean look at great /mtfg/ is

>>7392435
I am taking blockers right now (been 4-5 months). I will start taking hormones 2 weeks later.

But I will never transition socially.

cuz:
>social retard, I can't even tell this to my family or closest friends (what friendss?)
>also I can't handle any social shit that this would force me to go through, same reason as OP's
>physically: chad chin, big hands (8''), big foot (10.5 in men's), beard (can't go to laser cuz social retard), body hair, 6'. And all other man things that I have that won't change with hrt. and voice ofc. aand Im 22

T.B.H. I am content with being a "femboy". I don't know if I can even achieve to be that.
At least I will never be a man in a dress or a man acting like a faggot.
Keep my hair short, wear my usual clothes and pop the pills.
The question is, isn't eventually be obvious to people around me? I am scared as hell. But I don't think I can do anymore without HRT.

>>7398684
oh sheit, I just realized this is my future: >>7395916 >>7396030

>>7398180
fuck you and your awesome body :(

>>7398575
>>7398593
>>7398787
probably just some tranny trolling w someone's pic from passgen

>>7398799
this most likely
i haven't this time but occasionally i'll do stuff like this

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>>7398180
You and your narrow shoulders can fuck off.

Go full time and be happy.

I let my hair grow out because I was going to transition but decided I'd rather not break my heart getting my hopes up for a miracle then becoming a hon. Now I can't cut it. I don't want to lose this little bit of the real me that I have but I look ridiculous.

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>>7399513
just be a fem guy

>>7399548
that's not a fem guy
looks like your typical straight skinny guy

Don't know if I belong here. I'm wanting to transition, but I live with my parents still, with no realistic way to move out, and I worry they would feel like they were "losing" their daughter. Also >>7395173
>will never have a functioning dick
is a big deal for me, because even if I got top surgery, I still wouldn't be male.
Also I'm super short (5'4) and done growing, so it's unlikely I'd pass as male anyway.

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I've always wondered. Every body is different, right? Each of us hits puberty at a different point. Now, say you are someone who is too old to transition with good result (26 years of age, which is well passed the puberty mark) and they look like they are 20 years old easily.

Could they get the same results out of HRT as an actual 20 year old? Remember age is just a number. However, once puberty is finalized, that is all she wrote.

What do you guys thin? I can't find shit on this at all. Does being a late bloomer help in any way?

>>7398575
>>7398593
>>7398787
>>7399441

Thanks anons.

>>7398799
>>7399356

If I was going to troll I would've probably chosen a better picture.

>>7399678

Yeah, I'd say it's like 70% genetics 30% age when it comes to these things.

I've seen a few 20+ trannies who pass better than others that started in their mid teens, but they're rare.

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>>7392435
>6'2
>size 12 feet
>massive fucking hands
>huge fucking head
>big pointy nose
I'm tired of the "18-19 is a good time to transition" meme.

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>>7403189
Forgot
>Almost Neanderthalic browline.
Just fuck me up familly.

>>7403189
>"18-19 is a good time to transition" meme
When people say this, it's relative to what you'll be at age 30+. If you think it's bad now, just wait til then. That's true hon-tier age.

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Didn't win the lottery guys, stuck being a wanna-be hon.

40, the dysphoria never went away. I'm at the point that idgaf about what other people think about me anymore. I'm a freak, might as well go all the way at this point. It will be a big fuck you to the world. I probably won't pass, I don't care anymore

At some point in the future a lot of you will know exactly what I am saying. Fuck society.

>>7404744
post dob on drivers license

>>7392435
because frankly there is no point
i am too tall and large, and i'm not even particularly feminine. i would just be a freakshow living a lie

>>7405299
>too tall
i bet you're like 5'9" or something lmao

>>7405535
6'1
but yes that phenomenon is very common

>>7404744
don't have to show proof of your age, but how about giving us a quick summary of what you did in all of the years b/n high school and now

>>7406222
I mostly hid away from people, the level of shame of being found out was too much to bare. People often considered me to be gay, which is strange because I don't find men attractive at all. As a result I built a rather formidable wall to keep others out. It has been a very lonely existence, and I have let others dictate my life for too long now. The only way I know how I can get past this is to fully embrace it at this point, the alternative is just waiting for death.

Society may not embrace me, surely if I don't pass (more than likely, will not) egotistical individuals that rate others on their appearance will mock me, but I am tired of trying to accomodate them. They are not worth it, they are just simple minded individuals who do not interest me. After all, what would they offer to anyone outside of a fools humor, and why try to entertain those that demand conformity out of you? I get that on the Internet enough as is.

Imagine living your life mostly in solitary confinement outside of your immediate family, and that is what my life has mostly been like. I have a nice window to look out upon people going through their own lives, while I sit around waiting for my sentence to end. It is no way for anyone to live out their lives. Suicide is an alternative, but if I am going to kill myself, I might as well try to enjoy life for a little while. There will be people out there that accept me, not all people, but some and at this point that is fine.

As I said the dysphoria does not go away, it has been there since I was a child. I realize it is irrational, but there is no escaping it.


Listen, to any of you who legitimately feel you are the wrong gender, don't do what I did. Don't live for others, don't waste your life wishing things were different. You may not pass, but ask yourself if you are happy now.

Every wannabe mtf below 6' shut the fuck up please. I know I will never pass don't rub it into my face

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This thread is so sad. Like you are all in such bad situation...

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>>7392435
i'm chubby and i don't want to transition to become more androgynous in fear of losing my sberm

>>7407276
no, there's light at the end of the tunnel
just last night,
I put on some guy jeans and boots and felt good

>>7411228
It'd rather die then live as a man

>>7412382
Nah, there's too many things to do, people places to see

FYI passing doesn't solve all your problems, but will take up your time and money

My main reasons;

>27 years old
>not 100% sure I'm trans, barely over 50% really.

Like I definitely would like to be more feminine, but I'm not sure if in the future that's what I want. Also I don't want to fuck with my dick too much, and I don't really experience any kind of dysphoria other then "it would be nice to be a cute girl".

>>7392435

> security clearance