Feels Thread

>>7334090
it was great until after lunch. Then I got super gassy....FML.

>>7334090
Just say this movie and fell completly devastated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI
>tfw no cute blind bf

I find comfort in maths (literally, I've had much more fun reading a math textbook than playing video games this week)

>>7334090
I left my house for the first time in a year and a half to get my mom a toaster oven for christmas

>>7334146
Nicely done.

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Ran out of testing strips yesterday and had a shitty HIGH blood sugar. Woke up early to get more today but there was a snow storm. Went in in the afternoon somehow was fine at 6.3.

Did some banking than went to see if the mall was opened. Was closed with most stuff today so I got a pizza/garlic fingers and went home.

Really wanna see my crush again..

>>7334146
How do you do this, and why would you do this. I feel crazy if I stay inside all weekend. Sometimes if I have been in to long I'll come up with a reason to go to the store, gym, or just go for a walk to get out.

People are so full of shit it's not even funny

I realized that today

>have dream where I'm an attractive femboy with a boyfriend
>wake up alone and ugly

>>7334090
>Live in a small town, in the mountain west USA
>The women are fat loud mouth cunts
>There are no good church girls
Why even bother with women, can I get a femboy pls

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>Be straight-acting gay male
>Have female coworker
>We get along well
>Frequently take smoke breaks together
>She talks to me a lot about her personal life
>Learn a lot more than I feel like I should know about her
>Every day, something new
>Mostly just listen
>Catch her watching me today
>Have no idea how long she sat there, watching me work
>Kind of staring at me, glassy eyed
>Ask her what's up
>She says nothing
>Say something to the effect of "okay" and leave
>Dawns on me later that she's really into me
>This poor woman, trapped in a relationship she's unhappy with, is into me
>She looks at me and sees her ideal match
>And I'm incapable of reciprocating

I feel like such an asshole now, and a bit of a monster. I know the pain of wanting to be with someone you would never have a chance with. Being on the other side of that fence, though...it's almost as bad.

Kind of a stupid thing to get feels over, now that I've typed it all out.

I'm really fucking up this semester in school and I'm kind of embarrassed about telling my parents, but I've been talking about going into a different career path like cop/firefighter, so i only need a 2.0 GPA. I'm kind of relieved, but embarrassed to face my professors LOL. I attended 2 out of my 8 classes this week.

>>7334572
Don't feel bad, there's nothing you can do about it. Eventually she'll move on to better things, and so will you. In the end we're all just passing by each other, sharing glimpses of moments, but this--'this' doesn't last, nothing lasts; time just keeps on going, endlessly, and before we know it, our time's passed and we fade away into what we always were... nothing.

I'm graduating with my bachelor's next week, summa cum laude, honors, etc etc etc. I'm 5 days into HRT and my sex drive tanking is GREAT. I lost 12 pounds in the past 3 months. Everything is great and beautiful. :D

Too bad I haven't told my folks I'm trans, and I live with them. :(

>>7335558
Those are some pretty dank words, friend. But... I don't know, man. I really like her as a friend. She's a great person that has settled for less than what she deserves. Unfortunately, I just...can't be the knight in shining armor she wants. I'm not sure if the fact that she knows I'm gay makes me feel better or worse about it.

My focus was shot all day. I'm tired, I miss Squigs. I wonder if he hates me, he probably does. I tried to focus during biochemistry and all I could think about was how his laugh sounds or how his eyes looked when we were alone together. I initiated the whole break up but my self-loathing is so high, I don't even know how much of it is me and how much is my depression that are why this all happened. I wish he didn't hurt, I want to keep him safe, I want him with me but he wouldn't let me into his heart. He is my first love, in his words I'm just another relationship.

I deactivated my facebook and I think I'm gonna go anti-social for a bit.

>>7334090
My body is failing and I'm trapped at home 24/7 and the only person in the outside world that remembers me is my mortal enemy.

Doing a lot of Heroin behind my bf´s back lately.
Also stayed inside the last 6 months (making a living of apps from home)

>>7334572
>>7335595

Are you sure you're gay? Give her a chance, anon. If things go well with her and you still have a lust for dick, I'm sure she'll be open enough to peg you.

Fucking gays, the amount of lovely girls who crush hard on closet gays and then get their hearts broken is too high.

Well, I'm pretty down.
I look like an Arab in a community full of people who...well, don't seem to appreciate the Arab look much, it seems. They say I look pretty handsome and has a tough of exotic look around me, but others outright reject me for it. Given that the ones who find me hot are not my type, it is frustrating.

It may be shallow, but growing up different from other people really does dampen your insecurity. I am always conscious about how I look.

That is all.

>>7337945
Mfw a friend (girl) actually apparently liked me when I didn't know this

Also I was reading some stuff when I realized again how we are all destined to ve lonely gays

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>>7334090
Ive been staying with my parents until I go back to my seasonal job in a few days. Ive been kinda ok except for money woes and worrying about them finding out Im trans and my stepdad yelling at me because I haven't got anything accomplished at my age because he doesn't know/ believe in any problems Ive had.
Today's been good so far though.Trying to muster up the energy to finish bravely second.

>>7337945
>Are you sure you're gay?

Sufficiently. I can't recall a time that I've seen a woman and thought to myself, damn, I'd like to put my penis inside of that. I've thought that about plenty of dudes, though.

Also, I'm not in the closet.

>>7334090
Today started out great, but right now I'm falling apart mentally. My schizophrenia is kicking in again since three weeks and I can't get my shit together. I have this feeling in my head that I will hear voices again, but they just won't come for some reason. It feels like I'm stuck in limbo and it is killing me...

>>7334090
>games to kill time and feel like Im doing something
>forums, boards and chats to fill the void of loneliness
>cook/eat a bit to keep anorexia at bay

yet another day in a no-life of hopeless neet
shouldve killed myself few years ago when I was really depressed, now I dont feel as bad, just numb

>>7334268
you get some disorder so you dont want to go outside and then you get used to it

>>7334572
You are not bad, you didn't flirt and play her out of boredom or to stoke your ego like I did to one poor soul.

>the one lgbt board is slowly infected with nonbinaries and other straight people sexualities and nobody seems to mind
This ruins my day, every single day.

That and knowing my crush is happy in his cishet relationship while I'm bitter and alone, wishing I was with him instead.

>>7334090
>tfw will never have a bf
>tfw destined to die alone
>tfw personality too shitty for anyone to like me
>tfw kissless virgin
>tfw not into hookups

My situation is hopeless.

>>7334090
Tried fitting 4 pineapples in my ass today. Feeling like a new Xer! #fabulous

I'm lonely and I want a gf, but I'm pretty unsure of my sexuality. I'm afraid I might slowly come to realize that I'm not a lesbian, just like I did with men...
I develop some mad crushes on women, but they always seem to just go away without issue pretty quickly.

I'm so scared of hurting someone... Even if I did find myself legitimately into another girl, I just have so many other issues getting close to people and with insecurity I just don't think it'd even be worth it.

>>7339712
its alright, everyone dies alone

I'm super anxious because I need to find out how the medical health care system works (for trans people) in Austria and I can't speak german. I'll be studying there for 4 months, I can't just stop taking T for that long.

>>7339712
are you a dood?
have you ever been to the gay bar?

All you have to do is stand by yourself and someone will try and prey on you.

>>7340577
>obviously a terminal loner
>shy of people
>not into hookups
>lol just go to gaybar

...

>study in the library the whole day
>get lunch with guy and share food
>go home shower
>clean room
>buy lube

I'm going over to his place in a bit. We gon fuck then play some vidya and study for finals after.
Good feels for a change of pace here.

>>7339725
The only person you're going to hurt is yourself, you know that. You're afraid of being intimate, of sharing yourself with another person. Don't be afraid to jump, to take that leap of faith. We're all scared of being hurt, scared of rejection... but if we let our fears stop us, then we'll just end up with regret and worse, the feeling of emptiness that comes with being all alone. Trust me, it's worth trying, don't let time pass you by. Also, you've no reason to feel insecure, you're beautiful, but you don't need me to tell you that.

>>7334090
>tfw you transition too late
>tfw it was only by a couple of years
>tfw younger (<18) transitioners are becoming more common
>tfw they're a constant reminder of what you could've been

I hate this feel.

>>7339712
Same, want to be my bf?

>just out of a relationship
>go on Growlr
>see good looking guys
>Send them messages "hows your day?" "hows your weekend?" etc.
>get ignored
Am I missing something? I'm not ugly. I mean, I'm not cute but I'm decently good looking.

>>7347649
>Growlr
It's mostly just for hook-ups.

>>7347687
I met my last boyfriend on growlr. I see lots of guys on there looking for relationships. I talk to them and get nothing. I'm not even looking for a relationship honestly just looking for freinds. Lots of guys on there are there for that. Still get ignored.

>be ftm desperately trying to repress
>sketch out a poster of a happy dude
>requires a lot of smiling into a pocket mirror to get the expression right
>feels good man
>finish, super happy
>suddenly realise I accidentally drew myself as a happy dude
>mfw I look so happy, I'd be so handsome
>tfw it's never gonna happen

Walked past a gay couple today
punched one in the threat and he apparently survived. Looks like its back to tranny skeet shooting

Cant get em all.

>>7347808
Why?

>>7334435
me except I'm alone, ugly, and fat

I think it's really shitty of you all to exclude so many people.

>>7348319
?

>Been eating once a day or skip a day
>Throwing up some of the food
>Basically Anorexic I guess
>lose 30kgs in a couple of months
>feelsgood.jpg
>mom finds out
>calls me out but I pretend to be retarded and of course deny it
>mom starts cooking more food, and a lot more of my favorite foods
>try my hardest to resist and pretend i'm just not hungry
>everyone starts to notice i'm thinner
>uncles start asking her about it since I barely ever go down to family reunions
>even my fucking dentists calls her and tells her i'm too skinny.

She's confronted me a couple more times about it and I just keep pretending it's not truth, but this situation is starting to get annoying. And the worst part is that I hate getting angry at her because I know she's just trying to "help" me.

On the other hand, I'm keeping high hopes of moving to the USA in a couple of months to live with one of my uncles, he's offered it twice already but since I wasn't sure I rejected the offer, i'm hoping he'll do it again and he if does I'll take it, which means I'll be able to get a decent job and start transitioning. Also I might be able to finally visit my boyfriend and satisfy my retro-vidya hobby.

>>7343641

D-don't scare me anon, I-I have high hopes I'll be able to look decent starting at age 20 ;_;

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>>7348481
Your mom sounds really sweet. Good luck migrating to US anon!

>>7348498
She is. I shouldn't bitch about having one like her but her love is painful in this particular instance.

Also thanks anon, good luck with whatever it's happening in your life as well!

>fall in love with online friend
>start avoiding her
that's about it

>>7348517
Don't do that, you'll regret letting your feelings ruin a friendship just like that.

If you have the guts, talk to her about it, she might even respond, but at the very least you'll feel better if you vent your feelings and let her know, worst case scenario, if she's a bit uncomfortable, try to handle the situation until she's comfortable again.

>> Shitty friend of friend poisoning the friend group with her passive aggression
>> Ignoring this bullshit because my time is precious
>> Slowly getting frozen out of this social group because I can't engage with this one idiot.
>> Isolated and depressed
>> Reenaging in self harm and eating disorder behaviour
>> Mad at myself for letting this petty fucking bullshit make my decisions for me

>>7347942

Pretty much just a pussy. I'll probably get there eventually, but I don't see it happening before I'm like 30. So right now I'm just holding out hope that I'll have stopped feeling this way by then.
I need to focus on building my own life right now, while I'm in a good position to do it, THEN I can potentially fuck it all up, because it's mine and I can do what I want with it. I just feel like I'm in an awkward phase of life where stable independence is on the horizon and there's no sense in taking risks.
And I guess I just need to get used to the idea myself, before opening it up to scrutiny. It was only recently that I even realised the way I'd felt all my life wasn't normal, that I had options. I can't just jump at that, I can't just spring it on people and deal with their uncertainty and questions.

Sorry to rant. It's been a mindfucking few months since the penny really dropped. Sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter, that I can just nut up and deal with it the way I obliviously did in the past, sometimes I see my own potential and just feel overwhelmed by what I'd have to do to achieve it now that I know I technically could, sometimes I convince myself I was just mistaken and I'm fine.

I'm just such a private person, it's so humiliating that this isn't something that can be kept discreet, that anyone who's ever known me will see what I've done and know what I must have been keeping hidden all this time - or that they won't know, that they won't get why I've done this to them, that they won't see me as anything but a self-mutilating embarrassment.
And short of either repressing or faking my death and fleeing the country, there's fucking nothing I can do to avoid that.

But I know I'm being dramatic, one of those days. Just need to keep it together, and sometimes you need a good vent.

>>7348511
dont be anorexic, it can mess you badly
just diet properly and burn calories and drink lots of water

I just want to try again. No matter what I do, there's the constant fact that I got hit with the genetic toilet. I'm not salvageable, I'm too old for hormones to fix anything, and I have other problems they can't fix anyway. I'm boring, bad with people, and guaranteed to never find happiness.

Is suicide really a bad choice?

>>7348776
I tried working out for 1-2 years before and it didn't shit for me, I lost more weight in a couple months of vomiting and avoiding food all together than in all that time I did it the "proper" way.

I always hear it's a bad thing but I honestly feel much better now.

>>7348785
at least stop vomiting and eat some low-cal fiber

you could end up with completely broken digestion and all the basic eating reflexes and you will have to be put on neuroleptics and fed bullion via pipe and injectied vitamins while your whole body falls apart

>>7334090
my friend bill, trans f2m, killed himself yesterday. I'm in a pretty bad place. Had some serious drama with my partner after, then skulked off to be by myself for a while. Drank a whole fifth of vodka last night and ate a handful of pills the color of the rainbow. i just want to numb the pain, /lgbt/

>>7348815
Sorry to hear that, anon. Try blowing off steam in the gym rather than doing the self-destruct thing. You'll thank yourself in the long run.

>>7348815
Pretend that Bill migrated to another country, he will have a better life there, maybe he will write you one day.

>>7348814
That...Actually sounds kind of horrific. But I'll probably keep it up at the very least until I go on HRT.

Don't think I'll keep vomiting after that because I don't wanna be throwing up the pills. T-thanks for worrying about me tho.

>>7348815
I'm sorry to hear that too, hope he is in a better place but may I ask, what method did he use?

A friend of mine is getting serious surgery on Wednesday. He has cancer. A year ago he was told he had a year left, so he's at his expiration date. He told another friend this, who cried and came to me with it. I'm going to hang out with him today, I haven't told him I know. I don't know if I should. He seems really sad.

I'm having trouble keeping up with the pace of my life. I've been skipping classes. I'm overdue on two huge essays. I'll likely fail those classes. I feel like shit and avoid everyone in my life. I've picked up smoking again with the little money I have saved.

I'm lost somehow.

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>>7334090
I'm feeling the best I have been in years. Got a decent job, but still live with my parents. I pay no bills, so most my money just collects dust. I've been improving my looks, and my lifestyle too. The winter depression has got me down but I can handle it. I do the occasional hookups, but starting to find a real relationship. In all, my life seems pretty good.

>>7334090
it's horrible. Please, someone, tell me it gets better. Why am i trans, why am i doing nothing anymore, why do i feel nothing but pain on my shoulders, breast, neck, everything sucks and they want to keep me locked up for another 2 weeks
>>7334281
^

Been spending a lot more time sitting in the dark, regardless of the time of day, staring off into space while listening to sad music. It's becoming harder to find anything fun, and I don't wanna talk to anyone. I just want to be alone all the time, but I keep hoping someone'll message me because I'm some sort of stupid idiot. Being a tranny sucks, dudes. I can't find it worth it to do anything if I have to do it all as a man or some freak caught in the middle, and the hormones only help so much. I shouldn't be allowed to drive a car with how much I think about crashing it into something. Not that I'd do it. I'm a fucking coward.

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>>7349388
>they want to keep me locked up for another 2 weeks

>>7348740
>I'm just such a private person, it's so humiliating that this isn't something that can be kept discreet, that anyone who's ever known me will see what I've done and know what I must have been keeping hidden all this time

iktf, Senpai. Is there anyone in your life you would be comfortable sharing this with, who could keep this secret with you until you're? It's ironic that external validation helps so much with self-acceptance. Having someone who understands your problems will make them easier to deal with. Hang in there.

t. mtf

>>7348740
>>7350737
until you're ready to come out*

>be me, a weird ftm
>major crush on straight coworker who's a couple years younger than me
>he semiflirts with me, sends me mixed signals
>mutual coworker approaches me and asks if i have a crush on him
>feelings pour out.jpg
>mutual says its obvious and he supports me, and that crush is completely oblivious to it however
> he agrees it probably wont happen because crush is straight

i know there are straight guys who have dated ftms as an exception to their sexuality, im praying that could happen to me but tfw afraid he might just end up seeing me as a girl

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i just slept and played vidya all day, currently eating soup that tastes... okay. i dont wanna go back to school and work tomorrow, i just wanna sleep forever honestly

>Injured my shoulder at some point last week while working, hurts like a bitch but I still have to work tomorrow
>My ear has started to hurt randomly since winter started
>I have two big exams and two important projects I should be working on, but because I'm in community college I can't bring myself to care
>Not having anyone to talk to has started to weigh on me quite a bit recently
>Stopped going to the local trans group meetings because I hate watching happy couples and groups of friends
Have been better desu senpai

>>7351070
That sucks, senpai, hope everything improves for you soon

>>7348785
>I lost more weight in a couple months of vomiting and avoiding food all together than in all that time I did it the "proper" way.

I know, anon. I know. Sometimes I feel bloated just by eating a cheese sandwich, and no matter how many laxatives I get, the bloating feeling just doesn't go away. A couple of times a cup of coffee does the trick.

With that being said, excercise builds muscle, muscle is heavier than fat, you may weight the same, or even more, but there will be less fat in your body.

I finished a shift at the dementia center. I overheard one of the old ladies saying "that young man is like a guardian to us. He protects us." I find patients are more compliant with care and your job is easier if you treat them like humans or comfort them before rather than during a screaming and crying fit. I watched the end of a movie with my roommate, had a few beers and surfed the internet. Trying to drink less though since this job bums me out sometimes. I got hammered last week after finding out a fave resident had just died. Then I decided to cut back, been drinking 3 or 4 times a week lately.

Is it bad to have a stereotypically queer profession like being a gay dude who's a nurse?

>>7352946
>Is it bad to have a stereotypically queer profession like being a gay dude who's a nurse?
lolno. That's silly. Unless you don't like your job, but that doesn't sound like it's the case.

>>7352800
Well, I didn't weighted myself a lot, still don't, by "losing weight" I meant that I can actually see myself not be fat anymore.

>>7349433
>because I'm some sort of stupid idiot

quiet

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I found out my bf cheated on me a few months ago, not physically if only because I went through his phone when he'd been acting suspicious for a few days, and found him exchanging nudes with some guy he knew years ago. He begged and pleaded me to forgive him and I got pretty fucking angry but decided I loved him enough to try to work through it. So for months I'd think about it randomly and get super fucking pissed at him, and we'd fight and it was very hectic for a while. Couple weeks ago I got blackout drunk and punched him in the face after apparently yelling about what a piece of shit he was, I don't remember any of it but I know it happened. He's been depressed/randomly mad at me since, overall just been depressed and ashamed of myself and feeling like shit lately. Today we just mostly cried after briefly getting irritated with each other. Honestly not sure what to do, can't imagine life without him and I really love him but at the same time the stress and loneliness of us being very distant at this point feels like it's killing me. We were supposed to get married in April but it seems that might/should wait. Either way it's been tough lately anon.

>>7334090
> went to the doctor, get told I'm severely underweight (<16) BMI.
> ask mom to help me learn how to cook so I can actually start eating properly.
> She gets all bitchy saying it's not her problem.
Fuck, I love life sometimes.

>Same, want to be my bf?
Not sure if you are still lurking the thread but I'd be interested. Do you have Skype?

The first anon was not me.

>>7353601
Meant for >>7343641

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>TFW I have a crush on someone and they actually end up randomly asking me out
>TFW I'm so exited because they're so much more attractive and older than me and I've been so lonely
>I've been idolizing them for months
>TFW i am then sexually assaulted by them before we even go on a date
>the rape feels from 5 years ago are coming back
>TFW that person won't leave me alone now
>they text me for a week trying to guilt me into dating them even though they barely know me
>TFW I tell my friend I wanna die and I just want this year to be over

>she laughs and says "this year has been really hard for *us* huh! Finals suck :) but overall I think we had a good year
>lumping me in with her like we're one person
>I explain further why exactly I want to die
> she is silent for a long time till its uncomfortable and then says "yeah that really sucks I'm sorry anon. I get you."
>tfw she really doesn't get me
End it desu senpai lol

>>7334090
why are all other lgbt people so awful

>>7357378
>I'm not like OTHER legbutts! I prefer hanging out with cishets, legbutts are so much ~~~DRAMA~~~

>>7357378
>wahh everyone else is awful and no body is truly perfect except me!
Get your head out of your ass

>>7353853
Do you still talk to them? Have you told them how you feel?

Gonna lose one of our best cooks tomorrow because the husband she doesn't like found out she had an emotional connection with a coworker, they didn't even bang or anything.

Seriously think she should just leave his ass, but what the fuck do I know. I'M PISSED, DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE IT IS TO HAVE A BOSS ASS BITCH THAT I -LIKE- WORKING WITH? GDI.

>>7340549
Maybe you can talk to your current provider about getting prescribed enough to get you through it? Or would there be an issue crossing borders?

>be 14 in highschool
>I get a group of friends that does lan parties
>we have lan parties every month
>at one point friend just gets naked
>realize that I am gay
>developed a huge crush
>when I was 16 are group of asks one by one are sexuality
>only one who isn't straight
>next they ask me to list each person in order of attractiveness
>didn't want to but peer pressure of like 10 people
>end up listing person from earlier first
>about a year later friend stops talking to me and everybody else
>was Trans
>had some mixed feelings but moved on
>we have been friends 3 years at this point
>friend starts taking dxm I was interested so I took some was low dose
>I pass out on bean bag with 3 people
>other friend leaves and my friend basically swoops in and we start spooning
>this mixed with dxm was bliss
>get message that friend wants to hang all weekend >they never have asked to hangout and have been pretty harsh to me this whole friend ship
>lan party had only 2 show up and they leave early so it was me and my friend
>end up taking good dose of Dxm
>we hangout in her room
>eventually grinding on each other for most of the night
>it escalates the next day
>she gets a message saying she's pretty by a person that was over earlier
>she looks at me and asks if I find her attractive
>I can't lie and say average
>I'll admit that was shitty and deserve the anger that I received
>was ghosted and banned from lan parties
>I feel really shitty about a half year later but I can't shake the feeling I was used by her
>the signs are there
>just wish I could say sorry and move on

>>7334782
I can relate, friend...

>>7334090
>crushed on friend for a bit last yet
>mentioned it to him, gave me some vague shit about how relationships with him never go well
>we both pretend I never said anything
>be sad for 5 minutes then forget
>be me over the summer
>suddenly remember that he never said he didn't reciprocate my feelings
>start seeing things that could indicate that he still likes me
>or I'm making it up because I'm desperate
>doesn't matter because I'm too emotionally constipated and terrified of fucking everything up to say anything to him

my love life's a wreck but I'm cruising through my finals so that's good I guess. I'm so busy I don't have time to be a whiney bitch

another day at my shitty job working with stupid (they're cool once you get to know them) ugly people listening to the radio play the same songs every hour
i swear this guy is reading my thoughts
i drank an energy drink and now i cant sleep i need to be up in <6 hrs
theres no way we're get all the work done by christmas
why do i even care
my room is a mess and my only friend isnt responding
i need to quit my job after the holidays so i can go live with my dad and make better money and get out of the city
I ate fast food for breakfast and dinner but its ok because i had salad for lunch
i am not looking forward to seeing my family on christmas but the store is closed so i cant use work as an excuse to avoid the whole gathering
oh shit its nearly been six months

>FFXV has me disappointed and down in the dumps
>I miss having friends IRL to hang with
>waiting for my piss to come back clean so I can start reapplying for jobs (I smoke, thats all)

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>should focus on improving my life at least a bit before i look for gf
>no guarantee i would get one even if i actively looked
>so lonely (and horny) i want to die
>things won't improve by themselves but all i can do is stay a vegetable until someone fixes my problems for me which won't happen

>proven Wilson's theorem
>no bf to share with

another day sitting in my office trying not cry
another evening sitting at home trying not to cry
another social outing trying not to cry
another day closer to my last

>>7373585
>another day pretending to be alright so my parents and friends don't worry
>another day of feeling like everything's hopeless and wanting to disappear

>team christmas pictures
>see just how impossible passing will ever be
>tfw it ruined my bubble of not thinking about it

I'm never socially transitioning.

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>>7334090

>>7375854
Iktf. I hate seeing my face in the mirror for this exact reason

>>7375888
My face I can tolerate sometimes in the mirror, and feel like I look like a normal person. It's pictures that make me want to die. Literally will ruin my day, immediately, every time. I always look like such a fucking awkward, ugly freak.

>>7375915
Yeah. It really sucks, and it feels like the biggest lose-lose possible.

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>>7353344
You better watch...

>>7334268
>I feel crazy if I stay inside all weekend.

I'm similar but with the added caveat that I also hate social interaction and literally can't hold a casual/friendly conversation to save my life. But if I stay cooped up inside I start going crazy even after just a day. So I go outside but then I just walk alone in less cool/more residential areas where there isn't a risk of meeting someone I know.

>>7334268
I spent 3 years locked at home doing nothing but playing wow
It becomes a habit and then you get rooted in place like a barely aware vegetable, and you lose the will to change anything cause you're stuck in this still bubble
I managed to get out thanks to speeding hard by overusing caffeine and ritalin, not going to lie
I still do and it gets me out and gets shit done

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>Passing trans woman
>Have an amazing job at a company I love
>Friends with most of my co-workers
>None of them had found out that I'm trans and they just treat me like a normal girl and I looked forward to going into the office every fucking day
>HR accidentally outed me in an email last week by using my old name
>Suddenly my co-workers, especially the ones I'm directly in charge of, start actively ignoring me and not following instructions
>Today I walked in on one of them making a "hahaha she's really a guy" joke about me

I guess I have to find a new job now.

>>7377405
>accidentally
yea right

>>7377439
Honestly you're probably right but I'm trying to be optimistic.

>>7377405
Jesus that really sucks. I'm really sorry, anon. Hope things turn around for you.

>>7377405
This is why America sucks. Insubordination by people below you ought to be punishable as a crime. That would make everything work well and on time.

>>7377493
Thanks, grandpa Stalin.

>>7377500
No problem kiddo. Seriously, though, American culture is far too casual and equality oriented for there to be proper respect between subordinates and superiors that would create nice, stable hierarchy.

>>7377508
I wouldn't know. I'm not good with people anyway, so workplaces just make me even more uncomfortable than usual because I have no idea how I'm supposed to act.

>>7377523
For me it's the complete opposite. I'm retarded when it comes to holding a conversation with a friend or trying to talk to new people but as soon as the conversation has a purpose, is about work or something intellectual, I'm great at talking. Too great, in fact, since I then go back to silent what the fuck am I supposed to say mode if we have to go back to the casual conversation afterwards.

>>7377542
That's really funny. I'm basically only good at talking with people one on one, although small talk really isn't my thing, so maybe we're a bit similar in that respect. I like talking about some more intellectual things, but I don't really know much, so my options are fairly limited in that department. I tend to prefer more emotionally based conversations or one where I can just listen and let the other person unload, I guess.

Cool day today. I make a blak joke at university, some dumbass girl call me homophobic and i anwered him "im gay, retarded" and she goes nuts Haha, best moment of the dat. Leave the oulet was the best option i did on my life (Spain is a cool country to be gay).

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Can't stop worrying about seeing a throat specialist next week. Just the fact my doctor had to send me to a specialist alone worry's me.

Very lonely

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>tfw your friends go to a strip club and they're having fun but you're having dysphoria

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>>7334090
>made a new trans friend
>she understands me better than anyone I've met in my life and we've only been talking for a few weeks
>wrote her a poem telling her how much I value her as a friend
>she loved it

I'm having a good week desu

>>7378193
brb buying gun

>>7378204
alright, I'll bite. Why?

>>7353382
You shouldn't feel lonely in a relationship, ever. Maybe it has run its course, you still seem to feel very bitter abt his cheating, see how things escalated.

But!!! I hope you 2 can work it out. good luck

>>7378204
Sam you're a qt don't give up =]

>>7334139
I didn't know I wanted this until now.

>tfw in the closet
>repressing feelings for years
>loneliness is crushing me
>too shy to talk to anyone
>tfw no big bf

At least my job is ok I guess