/acegen/ - Stocking Stuffing Edition

>>7314947
>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
don't masturbate, i've had sex and don't like it, so i've decided to stop doing it for partners and just look for an Ace bf or gf
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
don't masturbate, i have sex. but would prefer not.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
i don't even fking know

>>7314960
I think it's because they think of the next thing after sex which is masturbation.

>>7314947
I do fap

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>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
I'm a virgin but sex is fucking weird. The body motions are ugly, dicks are gross and vaginas seem like a sort of alien shit, moans sound dumb, body fluids are disgusting, the naked body isn't good looking at all and clothes are way better and so on. Sometimes my disgust is really lowkey and sometimes can get pretty strong, but it usually stays in the middle. Masturbation is kind of just a biologic thing to me tbhdesu, especially having a high libido, and even so I'm trying to masturbate less or stop if possible.

>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
No sex, just fapping.

>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
Closest thing to sex if not sex, I guess?

>>7315553
Oh god, I thought I was the only one. Vaginas and penises ooze and everything is so fleshy and it reminds me of something out of a silent hill game.

>>7315565
Yo pal, we might be the only ones but you sure as hell aren't alone in that. Comparing it to Silent Hill is very spot on.

>>7314947
I'd like to fuck a girl as in eating out to give her pleasure but wouldn't want anything in return. I don't masturbate.

>>7316296
>>7315565
Might as well contribute to say that I don't really have an issue with genitalia

>>7316326
Yeah, me neither...

>>7316326
>>7316381
Not saying that everyone here has an issue here with that, mates. I literally thought I was the only one for a long time.

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>Someone blatantly admits to having a crush and wanting to get to know me better
>Have known them for a while and feel its best to let them know whats up before we even start just to get that bombshell out of the way
>Their face when hearing I'm okay with romantics and intimacy but draw a clear line at anything sexual
And that was that.

Has anyone else had weird encounters of the sort?

>>7316461
>weird
that's pretty normal in my life

>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
It's kinda gross, but it feels good. Eating is gross if you overthink it too, so whatever.
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
I masturbate occasionally. I have a long distance gf and when we're together we have sex, but it would be fine with me if we didn't.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
I think they're just curious because its so important to them. Orgasms are nice, but to me they're not the greatest thing ever.

Ah, acegen. It's been a while.

>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
I love sex. It's hot and absolutely fascinating, just so long as it doesn't involve me in any way. Imagining myself in sexual situations with other people makes me want to puke and die simultaneously.
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
I do fap and it's great, thanks for asking.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
It can be hard to wrap your head around a concept that seems alien to you, so maybe they're confused by the concept of a "so-called asexual" body needing/liking sexual stimulation but not wanting another body to stimulate it with? I'm curious too.

I encourage you sexual-attraction-havers out there to drop your 2¢ on that. I hope the tone of the question doesn't rustle your jimmies lmao.

>>7318404
i kinda want their jimmies to be rustled. I've been in threads where people were pissed that we even had a thread on /lgbt/

>ace
>on /lgbt/
I dun geddit.

>>7319370
>>7319357
speak of the devil

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>>7319370
Took more time than usual this time.

>>7319377
>>7319370
>>7319357
Come on, really? Obvious samefag.

>>7319381
No, I'm only >>7319357 and >>7319377. I can show you a screen shot if you want.

>>7319380
Some times we get it when we're halfway done.

>>7319377
>>7319380
It was my duty.
I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't.

>>7319393
Screenshots aren't evidence, they can be modified. I honestly don't care enough anyway

Unrelated:
What the fuck do you do when someone comes back into your life and manages to implant themselves into a group of your good friends? Do you leave your friends if you know avoiding the person is in your best interest?

Not really sure if i'd want to call my disgust with vannilla sex a sexuality itself.

People really think their default interests are divine these days.

>>7319512
I would just tell my friends my beef with the person and they would probably agree with me and leave them as well.

>>7319529
They know the beef but simply put they're in a situation where they can't leave (physically cannot) and I can

>>7319535
Well, then I would just try to avoid the bad person as much as I can while I hope the friend can be understanding.

>>7319542
Great, thanks. That was basically my plan. I just wanted to confirm that that would be alright to do.

>>7319554
As long as you've communicated with your friends and they understand and accept your side and feelings, you'll be fine.

>>7319357
Yeah yeah, it's always the same case, but preemptively inviting the defensive shitbaby responses gets in the way of anyone learning anything of value. Maybe it's asking too much of a 4chan community to engage in any intelligent form of conversation though. I've been spoiled by one or two notably constructive threads in the past I guess.

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>>7319921
Sure. It's documented as autochorissexuality if you want to look into it.

That term's a mouthful though- and it makes me feel like a snowflakey tool to whip it out- so I'll usually just say I'm grey-ace if someone goes brain-dead trying to figure out how such a fappy smut fanatic is asexual.

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>>7319902
Is sex with another person something you intrinsically desire? If not... sit, stay, have a slice.

>>7319902
goddammit, I fixed the OP for these answers.

>>7320141
It gets a bit weird because autochorissexuality is defined as a paraphilia so you're actually just saying something similar to "I'm a kinkster".

>>7320560
Could stick a "cont." at the end and make a second post with the content you removed

>>7320575
In the traditional sense of the word, yes, but the ace community in more recent history appropriated the word to describe an existing but yet unlabeled orientation, separate from the paraphilia.

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>>7320732
>a word made for the behavior of the ace community has now been appropriated by the ace community

>>7320575
>>7320732
Basically it gets down to syntax and differentiating autochorissexual/ity/ from autochorissexual/ism/. The former sprung from the description of the latter, I suppose. Maybe this makes more sense: http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/106730558981/how-exactly-is-autochorissexualism-a

>>7320731
Nah, people wouldn't read it anyway. They don't even read the OP.

>>7320746
The word was not invented /for/ the ace community you asshat, see >>7320751

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>>7320771
me: for the behavior of the ace community
you: for the ace community

congrats, you can't read.

>>7320791
Are you... can you really not understand?

All I'm saying is the original definition of the paraphilia was not made "for the behavior of the ace community", but was later adopted by the ace community completely outside of the original coiner's intent for the word.

It means the same shit regardless of the slight difference in wording. Holy shit grow up.

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>>7320812
>Researcher is well known for his asexuality studies
>the actual study is called "Asexuality and autochorissexualism (identity-less sexuality)"
>I present evidence that target-oriented paraphilias may occur in some who report no sexual attraction for others or those who identify as asexual. One target-oriented paraphilia in some asexual people is a disconnection between their identity and a sexual target/object. I name this phenomenon autochorissexualism or "identity-less" sexuality."
>not originally based on the behavior of the ace community

>>7320839
Ehhh to be somewhat fair to the other guy, the dude that made the term isn't /quite/ a part of the community. He may have helped the community but he isn't one of us. I definitely do see where you're coming from here though

>>7321147
And? When did I say he was part of the community? That's like saying researchers who study pedophiles and rapists are also part of that community. Just because you research something doesn't mean that you're part of that group.

>>7321168
Sorry, misread what you said. My bad.

Still, basing it off the behavior of the community doesn't mean anything. That's like saying there's no point to naming the phenomenon of jogging differently than walking since we all walk and jogging is a subset of the activities we can do with our legs that involve movement

>>7321212
Yes it does in this context because this is within a group that does not have sexual attraction, something abnormal, and within that group there are people that have certain behaviors.

Also, your analogy is terrible because jogging/walking is something that is common as fuck. This is similar to someone researching how people with no legs are using their stumps/hands to "walk".

>>7321232
That's a good point. I concede, I used a shitty analogy. Couldn't really come up with anything else.

I don't even support using the term, I prefer just saying you're a kinkster or whatever else. I was just trying to support them a bit and fill the devil's advocate position

>>7321463
I'm a bit hardened and practiced from all debates I've had to do online so let me tell you that the analogies come from practice and probably from being dropped on a head as a kid.

Good on you for trying to support them, though.

>>7314947
>>Where can I find my qt3.14 ace bf/gf?
>We have a map: https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=1764048
>Because the term of "asexuality" is still quite new, there aren't that many sites for
>>>there aren't that many sites for
OP you missed a word

What do ace people think of opposite sex genitals? I'm a female but I think vaginas are boring while penises look pretty useful.

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>>7322136
God dammit, I used the old draft. Thanks for telling me.

Also:
>it takes 54 posts for someone to actually read the OP
I shouldn't have even tried at this point.
>>7322238
I personally think penises are pretty unappealing and I just don't like how... fleshy it looks. It might be because I grew up masturbating with hard, solid objects but it's very distressing to think of having to interact with one. I mean, it's all oozy and it throbs and stuff.

>>7322419
Oh don't beat yourself up about it, I'm sure others like me noticed that just didn't say anything because its a small mistake

>>7322419
Like >>7322509 said. I read it, but I missed the mistake before because it's small. I reread it and caught it. Don't be sad :c

>>7322238
I think penises look gross (my own, though, I don't quite think of as being gross, I just kinda... pretend it isn't a thing for the most part, except for when I'm peeing or masturbating and then I'm not really looking at it much so whatever). I think vaginas are really fucking weird.

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>>7322238
I'm >>7315553. I do find dicks gross, yes, but I guess they are a little less worse than vaginas in the end. Not due to being boring or looking useful though, I just find the vagina much weirder aesthetically and so on.
Although imagining it having anything to do with repulses me all the way.

>>7322419
Yo pal, I read it and noticed it, but I kept quiet because it was really minor.

>>7322561
having anything to do with me* whoops
Also, forgot to say. I'm kind of glad it's somewhat easy to forget the weird vagina parts are there. I would need some effort to see how fucking weird it looks, so yeah, thanks God I can ignore it so easily.

fml, why does everything everywhere always have to be about sex!!!!!

What stereotypes and misconceptions has /acegen/ encountered about asexuality?

As someone on the spectrum myself, I've taken to compiling them out of morbid curiosity / for future reference.

All together, I have heard that we are ...:
>lying to [individual] out of 'cowardice' or 'pity'
>unfeeling, dispassionate
>untrustworthy, sexually manipulative, opportunistic, sociopathic [rare]
>secretly sexual and using ace as a 'cover' to get others guards down
>boundaryless, invasive, and/or touchy-feely because of not seeing physical contact as sexual (regardless of actual frequency or extent of contact) [rare]
>sexually 'unawakened' or confused
>being 'corrupted'/deceived by others into believing we're ace
>prudish, anti-sex
>'virtuous', 'celibate' [exclusive to young people?]
>arrogant, holier-than-thou, out of touch
>repressed, closeted
>(medically) dysfunctional, disordered, traumatized, phobic
>immature, socially dysfunctional
>compensating for or rationalizing undesirability ["sour grapes"]
>less marginalized or disadvantaged than others and thus irrelevant [see: oppression/persecution olympics]
>less populous or 'contributing' than others and thus irrelevant [see: heteronormative majority]
>not 'allowed' to be educated/informed of or intellectual on sexual topics; or involved in sexual culture and socializing to be a 'true' asexual
>not 'allowed' to be libidinous, romantic, and/or capable of physical stimulus/pleasure to be a 'true' asexual
>biologically impossible

Any additions?

>>7323464
[cont.]

I have recently encountered a new but rare -positive- stereotype (though it is notably one of sexually active asexuals), that being that asexuals are actually better than average in bed. Supposedly this is attributed to our lack of arousal making us more analytical and generous. (Comparable to the "technician vs performer" debate?)

This also seems to extend to us being considered more knowledgeable about sex as a result of working harder to understand its appeal and our own identities.

A final (rarer still) aspect of this stereotype is that asexuals have a greater affinity for certain kinks. Some examples being medical/science dom (where we can be technical and deny reciprocation), objectification, dehumanization, and (inflicting) chastity.

I doubt this would apply to many aces however.

Thoughts?

Hello, are there any cute novels about /ace/ relationships where the couples just cuddle and it's completely fine like this?
I don't care whether it's FF MF or MM

>>7314947
>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
They're really not a big deal
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
I fap but that's about it. Never been attracted to anyone that way.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
They're under the impression that being asexual strictly means you have no sexual feelings whatsoever. I just don't feel the urge to share that aspect of me with anyone nor can I ever picture myself doing so.

>>7324613
https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/no-sex-romance for y'all who want romance but no sex

Ive also been using https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/non-romance to find books without both sex and romance, which is what I prefer.

>> 7323464
>> 7323487
Having re-read my posts, I feel I should clarify/correct some things.

>As someone on the spectrum myself
Ace spectrum incase there was any confusion. Substitute with "As an asexual myself" if you don't personally believe in it.

>sexually manipulative
This refers specifically to the accusation that asexuals are inherently more adept at or willing to manipulate others using sex. (Can't say I understand how someone comes to that conclusion...)
Related to the fear that asexuals are sociopaths. Thankfully rare, as noted.

>prudish, anti-sex
I am aware asexuals can be these things, however I'm referring specifically to the misconception that a person identifying as asexual is "just" these things.

>virtuous, celibate
As above, refers to when asexuals are called this to deny their asexuality.

>not allowed to [x] to be a 'true' asexual
This I may have phrased poorly. What I was referring to was misinformed or malicious assertions that you're "not really an asexual if [x]".
Some additional examples I neglected to include are "you are not really an asexual if ...":
>you want to have kids
>you have or want relationships
>you can recognize objective attractiveness and appreciate aesthetics
>you fantasize or experience arousal
>you masturbate or consume pornography
>you have and/or enjoy sex
>you have kinks

Others I forgot:
>asexuality is a choice
>people who identify as asexuals are trying to be special or gain attention
>romantic asexuals have no gender preference, or are all bi/pan

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>>7328467
>positive stereotype
On reflection it is questionable if it can really be considered "positive". Especially since it implies asexuals are either ...

A.) possessing some sort of "one-way" or "arms-length" sexuality, wherein they desire to 'administer' sex without receiving, and are overly technical/sterile/clinical and dominating in doing so. Or ...

B.) literally asexual -- as in attracted to featureless and agender people.
[An interesting concept actually... I wonder if that exists?]

Hope I haven't been too much of a downer, or that this topic hasn't been overdone, haha. It just fascinates me.

>>7323464
>>secretly sexual and using ace as a 'cover' to get others guards down
>freshman year of college
>girl flirts with me
>am absolutely fucking oblivious to her attempt
>she sits and eats with me once
>we become friends
>really good friends
>really close friends
>can talk about anything
>she's really, really sexual
>we eventually experiment (by this point she knows I'm asexual, we just kinda figured why not because it's like "well, might as well try to figure some shit out, why not")
>I enjoy masturbating her because it makes her really happy at the time and I liked making her happy
>I got a bit carried away once and it got weird
>eventually separate due to completely unrelated reasons (she got a boyfriend and the boyfriend hated me)
>she probably now thinks I did this

>>7316461
You just caught them in a lie. They didn't want to get to know you better at all; they just wanted to fuck you. I hope you called them out on it.

>>7332009
I didn't because as heartless as it may seem for him to drop things like that, non-ace people want sex. I can totally understand it being a deal breaker

>>7323487
Confirmed - any kind of kink where I can easily feign interest and not be aroused for most or all of it is the easiest way to keep a relationship of mine going. Once I managed to get out of a night of sex with a girl who was asking for it by asking her if she thought she'd earned it. She said no, as I knew she would, but she seemed happy about it. It was weird but amazing.

>>7332032
The sin isn't wanting sex; the sin is lying to you. You understand that you don't deserve to be lied to, right? That you can live without people walking all over you?

every sexual encounter I've had with either gender results in me failing to reach orgasm, fooling around fruitlessly for hours.

Only to hide the pain of my blueballed testicles. Then wank myself off when they leave.

FFS I hate sex so much.

>>7332047
I personally have kinks for non sexual reasons because I can't really get certain relationship dynamics I enjoy in normal living. Like the only place you would get certain aspects of that in life would be either a consensual kink or a "totally legit" cult.

>tfw reading a story with forced romance
Anyone who is actively pursuing getting their dick wet during a time where every day is a high chance of death by anyone that isn't in your small group is probably insane.

>>7336285
Kek it's the hets

>>7336296
I'm sorry, I don't get what you're trying to say. Can you explain?

>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
Idgaf what other people do. But I've just never could bring myself to view another person in a sexual context, much less feel a desire to have sex with them. It's just the idea of being so close and intimate with someone, especially while naked and using the very parts of my body that I hate, would make me want to probably kill myself.

Masturbation is a little easier to deal with because there's no other person to focus on.

>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?

I masturbate but it doesn't really feel sexual or intimate when I do it. I mostly equate it to doing something similar to maybe rubbing my temples when I have a migraine or putting icy hot on my joints when they get sore. It's just another method of relieving a physical form of discomfort caused by hormones, stress, or difficulty sleeping.

>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?

No idea but I find it annoying that they think that, by coming in here and acting like assholes, we'll all somehow just be like "You know what, anon? You're right! We aren't asexual but in fact were confused! You showed us the light! Threads over, everyone! We can go home now!"

It's fucking stupid.

>>7336329
Just making fun of the hets (I'm assuming ) who are desperate for sex

>>7337413
So /r9k/?

>>7339601
I guess

>>7340970
>Asexuality isn't [an] inability to find a partner

>although it is a side effect

>>7341259
I mean the inability to find a partner is a side effect

>>7341282
I wouldn't quite say inability, but more so a severely diminished chance since its not impossible

>>7329158

>I got a bit carried away once and it got weird

what did you mean by this?

>>7341545
I kinda took it a bit far. I didn't know what I was doing and I'm ashamed for it.
Although I don't know what to really think about what happened because my brain has a tendency to remember things incorrectly so idk with 100% certainty what went down

>>7341577
In other words I was just trying to make her happy and I took it beyond the limits I should have, although at the time I had a way fuzzier understanding of just what those limits actually were

>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
I'll preface by saying I'm a virgin. I like watching porn, I think sex is nice to look at when they people in it are having a good time. I just don't want to have sex myself. Dicks are pretty but my legs clamp up just from thinking about them getting near my vag, and vags are unappealing. I think of roast beef whenever I see them. Masturbation feels good so why not? You rub away for a while, you don't necessarily have to watch porn or anything to get off.
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
I masturbate when I'm bored. I'm a virgin and will probably stay that way.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
They can't separate sex from masturbation? To me masturbating is like itching your back or something like that. Just because genitals are involved doesn't mean it has to be sexual.

>>7341658
>>7341577
Let me guess you were basically like "sex sex sex" because you knew that would make the normie happy?

>>7343379
You are literally just afraid of sex...marry a chrisitian man, he will change it after marriage.

Also, no girl just LOVES the idea of a dick inside her at first, its always a bit scary

>>7344174
I don't like to feed the troll, but that one's personally insulting. I'm a Christian man, and I'd be perfectly happy to let her stay a virgin.

>>7344066
No sex happened. I don't really know how to describe it other than "masturbated friend and made things weird"

>>7345537
Explain please? I'm really curious now

>>7347049
I honestly don't really know how to describe it. Too situational and a lot of back story would be necessary. All I can say is that when I think back on it I think it's almost rapey in a sense and I feel disgusted by it. Sorry that I can't really give you anything there. Let your imagination free~~~

I got nothing it of it, made things weird, might've hand-raped friend without knowing it, I think my friend knew that I had no idea what I was doing, and didn't know how to react

I need to know if I'm ace or not.

I have fetishes and ideas that turn me on, but they're not directly sexual.

I've had sex a couple of times, the last time I was basically masturbating and trying really hard to focus on what I was imagining and not what was actually happening. I came, but not from the intercourse...

I've never, not once in my life used porn. Erotic imagery, yes (like softcore, or just hot people, even in clothes), but not sexual.

Sometimes I think I can manage myself fantasize about fucking someone and get a boner, but that's kinda rare and hasn't manifested in real life so far.

Oh god please tell me I'm just really repressed and not asexual ;_;

>>7348265
Do you find people sexually attractive? If you see someone 'hot', do you think about wanting to fuck them? If no, you're ace.

>>7348361
No fuck you this can't be real. This can't be happening.

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk WHY ME???????????????

>>7348413
Honestly guys surely there's a chance I'm just so inexperienced and repressed that I just can't fantasize freely about fucking or getting fucked, right?

I can't fucking be an asexual. I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

>>7348418
First, just because you're asexual doesn't mean you can't have sex if you want it.
Second- asexuality is awesome! When you don't have sexual attraction to distract you, you have more brainpower to focus on taking over the world.

>>7348418
Why are you so freaked out about being ace?

>>7348439
>doesn't mean you can't have sex if you want it.
Yeah, just that 99.999% (probably 100) of the time I won't be wanting it.

>asexuality is awesome!
Mhmm it's awesome being unable to connect with people on the most primal and intimate level.

>>7348440
Because it screwed over the closest thing I ever had to a relationship with someone I legitimately loved.

And because I've always feared I was fundamentally different and wanted to fit in. Turns out it's true.

>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
People should do what makes them feel good. I still find myself being caught off guard when friends around me bring up sex though. I know most people want sex but I guess it's still hard for me to imagine people actually acting on it with other people. Usually when people bring up relationships/sex I go quiet or change the subject, I suppose it makes me uncomfortable.


>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
I masturbate pretty much daily to my fetish (ENF). Watching about regular sex/porn isn't disgusting to me or anything, it just does absolutely nothing. I'm a virgin and right now I feel like I wouldn't mind staying one my whole life.


>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
I think it's a pretty natural question to have when you first hear about asexuality. Orgasm is a big part of sexuality and people want to know how it works for asexuals... or some times might just be that they don't believe you and wand to bait out a contradiction

>>7348445
Again, being asexual doesn't mean that you can't have sex. Being sex repulsed isn't a requirement of being ace. That one's on you, senpaitachi.

I hope you can find peace with yourself, sorry to hear your relationship didn't work out.

>>7348458
>Being sex repulsed
I'm not.

But try and find someone who's going to get enjoyment banging a fucking corpse who can't get hard unless he tries really hard imagining he's anywhere but there.

>>7348463
>unless he tries really hard imagining he's anywhere but there
So you don't like sex. Still on you, senpai.

>>7348466
It's not that I dislike it. It's that it does nothing.

I need to engage my (thank fuck) good sense of imagination to be able to get hard.

>>7348265
what's your fetish? just curious

>>7348476
Domination/getting dominated (definitely latter but unsure about first). Throw some humiliation and shit like that in also.

That may be the only way I could get my leg in the doorway of sexuality.

But it's just the idea of it, the abstract, that turns me on. Not the physical part of it. Still, it may be enough...

>>7348527
Did you miss the part where I said it's extremely abstract and not at all physical?

>>7348486
>But it's just the idea of it, the abstract, that turns me on. Not the physical part of it
I can definitely relate to this, and I think it's pretty common among asexuals.

It's like the brain compensates for there being no sexual attraction by latching on to anything that is even remotely arousing and amplifies it.. If that makes sense.

Not sure how to solve your problem though. I'm pretty satisfied with not having any relationships right now.

>>7348572
That may be true.

Or it may be that it is this fetish in the first place that perverted my sexuality due to some childhood bullshittery.

I dunno, I still hope I am not ace. I'll keep on trying and doing stuff hoping to discover something.

Last resort is going to be finding some bbc to steamroll me. If that won't do shit, nothing will. But that may lead to unstoppably spiraling into degeneration and I'm not sure if I'd be okay with that.

>>7348572
Btw what are your sexual experiences? I want to learn as much as I can from people who seem similar.

>>7348596
Sorry to say but I've never had sex so I can't really say what it would be like for me (>>7348448 was me).

I should add that I've always been pretty socially awkward and I have problems talking about anything that isn't related to gaming or the thing I study.. I think it's getting better since I moved to another country though.

Like you mentioned I also some times wonder whether the asexuality or the awkwardness or the fetish came first. But I guess the only thing that matters is what makes you happy now

>>7347279
if you're still here it sounds like it could be a good idea for you to try to write down what happened. Might not be as bad as you think

>>7348719
I can't. It was a rather quick event that happened over a year ago. I don't remember enough details. I just don't.

>>7348646
I had no sex either and was an awkward fuck until 21 which was this summer, when I got my shit together and started fixing myself.

And now this...

I guess some just were never meant to be normal.

>>7348877
You could always just pump yourself with drugs like a middle aged man.

>>7349103
What would that accomplish?

>>7349133
You could get boners and stay hard and thus be a normie

>>7349138
There's a lot more to sex than just staying hard.

>>7349154
simply responding to this >>7348463, mate.
>But try and find someone who's going to get enjoyment banging a fucking corpse who can't get hard unless he tries really hard imagining he's anywhere but there.

You said a problem, I gave a solution

>>7349160
Okay now how about you read the rest of the sentence?

>>7349164
Are we seriously going down this route of "snarky comment", "Answer", "snarky comment", "Answer"? I'm not forcing you to be here and damn well won't give you info with your bitching.

>>7349175
What the fuck are you on about? You literally just ignored half of my point and now get mad at me for pointing that out.

Sex isn't only about whether you can get hard or not. It's about the mutually derived pleasure. Someone who isn't able to derive pleasure from the activity will not be able to offer much in return either. If you're an asexual you won't get into the groove of things, and without it you'll be a stiff motherfucker making your partner feel like a fucking necrophiliac.

It's probably something you could technically learn to fake, but since it's not the real thing, it won't feel like it either. And the mere knowledge from your partner that you're faking it, even if just to please him, may be a no-go.

>>7349187
>What the fuck are you on about? You literally just ignored half of my point and now get mad at me for pointing that out.
Your point that you haven't had sex, aren't sex repulsed, and have it in your head that asexuals can't be a good sex partner?

>If you're an asexual you won't get into the groove of things, and without it you'll be a stiff motherfucker making your partner feel like a fucking necrophiliac.
lol no that's just you being unable to actually move. There are a ton of asexuals that don't just fucking corpse there because they know like you that that is not okay.

>It's probably something you could technically learn to fake, but since it's not the real thing, it won't feel like it either. And the mere knowledge from your partner that you're faking it, even if just to please him, may be a no-go.

Also, it depends by what you mean is the "real thing". Do you mean: physical pleasure, physical and emotional pleasure, or that shit you only read in romance novels? Because all of that can happen with asexuals. But yes, you are right that there are some people that will feel like an asexual person cannot fully love them.

>>7349203
>Your point that you haven't had sex
I have.

>asexuals can't be a good sex partner?
Different degrees of asexuality. But when you're just feeling weirded out and out of the moment, it's hard to be a good sex partner.

The problem isn't just not moving. I can move. I can not be a corpse. But the fact that there is absolutely no desire for me to have sex, it is going to make things awkward. I won't know when to stop kissing, because I wouldn't be kissing in the first place. I won't know when to move on to the next stage from kissing, because I wouldn't move there in the first place. I won't know where to put my hands or how to position myself, because there is no passion involved. I might as well be trying to be a part of a dance group performing a complicated routine without knowing anything about the choreography.

That is all learnable if you gain experience with one partner, but it's nothing more than a simulation of the actual thing. You will just get good at pretending you're having sex with the guy. Pretending you're enjoying it. Fooling him.

I don't want that. They wouldn't either. Why settle for half a human if there's a bunch of completed humans around?

>it depends by what you mean is the "real thing"
Physical.

Now excuse me I got a bed to crawl into and sob quietly because I haven't been able to cry for 10 years anyway.

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>>7314947

Do asexuals like to cuddle?
Or is physical closeness repellant?

Asking for a friend.

>>7350121
Cuddling is the best thing ever. Closeness feels great, I think most people draw the line either at kissing or simply anything sexual.

>>7349971
Hopefully you can find another asexual person to cuddle up to and cry upon :c

>>7350121
Cuddles are a definite yes in my book, but not everybody likes physical closeness. But that isn't a purely asexual thing, that's just general. Some people in general don't like physical contact.

>>7349971
(Am >>7350750)
Also you should put yourself on the map (in OP)

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>>7349971
>all asexuals pretend to enjoy sex
>asexuals are half a human

>>7350121
Depends on the person. People in general can be cuddly and others hate it.

>fanfiction is the only thing that turns me on now
Anyone else? Just me?

>>7322238
Penises are funny, but otherwise okay. They're not great to look at, but don't really bother me. Vaginas on the other hand actually gross me out.

Does anyone else here masturbate to music? When I masturbate, I usually just think about songs I really like.

>>7352630
Hahahahah I used to get boners for the randomest things as a child.

Looking at historical maps, pictures of ships, stuff like that. The slow disintegration of the Ottoman empire was my fave, how everyone chipped away at it over time. It kinda runs into my fetishes. Like I said my fetishes have sexual practices, but in their nature they can be very abstract.

Never had anything with music though.

Man I'm broken.

>>7350121
Cuddling was the best thing ever. I would kill to feel him breathe down my neck again.

>>7350750
>Hopefully you can find another asexual person to cuddle up to and cry upon :c
Right now I don't want anyone but the guy I was involved with.

>>7351118
>asexuals are half a human
Literally yes.

We're lacking the most human of emotions, the desire to fully and ultimately connect with someone.

>>7350121
I hate it. There was this one guy who I really loved to be hugged by but other than that I hate it.

>>7352900
Can you please take your self loathing somewhere else?

>>7353308
Don't like being reminded of reality, huh?

>>7353328
Nah, most of us like the fact that we aren't distracted by a sex drive. It's almost like never needing to eat, except that eating is actually essential for survival.

>>7353378
How long did it take you to fool yourself into believing that?

>>7353328
>>7353442
you: omg i'm so sad
everyone else: actually i'm fine being this way.
you: NO BE SAD WITH ME

pls go if you're going to cry in the corner. We've accepted our "broken" selves and we simply find you annoying at this point.

Also, before you say it, I'm not >>7353378.

>>7353470
You're either delusional, aromantic, or simply have no clue about what you're missing on.

Or maybe just an autist.

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>>7353478
lol pls go
>inb4 "you're not arguing with me because it's true~"

>>7353488
And you know it is.

>>7353496
k

>>7353498
>le snarky one letter response to feign disinterest :^)

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>>7353500
Okay, I'm gonna be frank with you. It's kinda obvious you have a personality disorder because you came onto 4chan of all places to see if you ever be with that person you love so much. Now that you believe that you're asexual, you're sitting in this thread probably hoping you'll find someone similar to you in your views. But now that you find no one here as well, you probably feel even more of an outsider and now you're taking your hurt, shame, and angst on words on a screen because there's no one in your life that you can express these feelings. But even when no one wants you here, just like in real life, you stay because you're desperately latching onto anything that is close to a relationship even if it means manipulation. So I'm going to start ignoring you after I post this comment and give you the suggestion of >>>/r9k/ or some place else to cry about your broken self.

>>7353523
Hahahahah pump up the projectors.

I came to here because it's a fucking asexual general. The internet is full of useless and shitty information about ace and you'll be wrong to assume I haven't read a whole shitload of it before coming here.

We all probably have some sort of personality disorder, considering we're here.

I don't give a shit if I find anyone with similar """"""views"""""". I came here to find people with similar experiences to get to figure out whether I am ace or not.

I'm not taking my hurt, shame or angst on the screen. I know I'm fucked if I'm ace and there's nobody to blame. I'm not angry about it, just hugely disappointed.

I do have people to express my feelings to.

I am not seeking some pseudo relationship from this thread or whatever the fuck you're even trying to say.

I already hail from r9k :^)

Hey, are there any good ace youtubers? The only ones I can find tend to not be active or are just cringey

Please don't feed the trolls

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>I'll never meet another asexual qt
>I'm also ugly, preventing any romantic relationship.
>I'll only be a loser who can't get a girlfriend

does anyone feel like semen is the worst part of dicks? like if they were just an organ like a thumb and fluid didn't leak out of, they might be ok with them?

>>7354553
Yup. I don't usually mind because it's not like I fap or anything, but I did notice it leaks like hell when cuddling up with someone and god I wish it didn't

>>7352630
I'll frequently have a song stuck in my head when masturbating. I'm easily distracted and porn is something mundane I can browse to distract myself (something which won't end up distracting me further) while masturbating, but sometimes I'll just be so sick of that that I'll just lie back and just masturbate and try to focus on whatever song pops into my head.

>>7352900
You're dealing with heartbreak so it makes sense that you want to be with him again. It'll take time but you'll eventually start to heal and 'get over it'. You'll never fully get over it but it'll get better.

We aren't lacking the most human of emotions, we're lacking one human response. Like any human lacking a sense, we are usually able to compensate for the most part. It isn't perfect but it isn't terrible.

Reacting to newfound this self discovery is fine, but self loathing is not. Get over yourself.

>>7354728
>>7354728
>>>7354553
>it leaks like hell when cuddling up with someone and god I wish it didn't
Fuck this shit, seriously
And cuddle boners

>>7354553
>>7354780
>>7354728
It's weird cause I can fantasize about doing all sorts of things with their cum, but in irl scenarios I just never feel like it.

Maybe there's still hope and it'll turn out I'm just extremely repressed, which wouldn't be surprising.

>>7355098
Just don't force yourself to fit to a label. Be yourself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bumparooni

>>7352296
Member that time OP made a list of fanfics with asexual characters? That was cool

>>7354780
Member that time we discovered that masturbating and then get a song stuck in your head for the rest of the day was a thing? I member

>>7361210
I actually could show everyone a list of webcomics that has ace characters if you want.

>>7362198
Please do

>>7362198
Holy shit, yes, please. I've only read Ignition Zero

>>7362230
Shades of A
>young, ace dude gets into a relationship with an older male crossdresser
>Follows plot points of "Fifty Shades of Grey"
>Artist struggles with faces at times and the work is mediocre

14 Nights
>awkward as fuck ace dude gets into a relationship with a crippled dude. Cripple makes a bet that he can make him enjoy sex
>Has weird dream sequences inbetween the days

Oh Hana!/Oh, that's why I'm aro-ace
>aro-ace artist does humorous biography stuff

Hugo and Vern
>ace dude summons an incubus. Not really running on a plot but humorous at times

Ignition Zero
>main character is ace
>depending on your tolerance, there are "tumblr sexualities"

Coming Up Aces
>http://imgur.com/gallery/nU5pk
>shortish biography about the ace writer

here's a bunch of others but I can't say about their quality.
https://tagpacker.com/user/lgbtwebcomics?t=asexual%252Faromantic

>>7362448
I would like to note that I personally love 14 Nights and I feel like I'm turning into the ace dude with each passing day.

>>7361210
>Member that time we discovered that masturbating and then get a song stuck in your head for the rest of the day was a thing? I member
I member too. The topic keeps coming up, which interests me every time.

>>7362448
Thanks for this, anon.

>>7354553
The fluid is not too bad, but the smell and taste disgusts me. I could probably have sex and pretend to be normal if it weren't for the reeking musk of genitalia.

I have some questions for you aces who have or would like to have a romantic partner

Do you enjoy hugging/cuddling/kissing/soft core stuff?

If so, where do you draw the line? If not, what kind of interactions do you have with your partner?

Would you be ok with an otherwise loving and faithful non-ace partner looking for sexual gratification elsewhere?

As a non-ace, the line between sexual attraction and "romantic attraction" (thats not a thing but you get what I mean) is quite blurred. I hope to better understand myself through your answers, so thanks in advance :)

>pretending never to experience sexual attraction
>pretending never to masturbate

Every "asexual" I ever met, I found out was not only sexually active but also very kinky. Fucking ridiculous that people take this shit seriously.

>>7364025
>>7364096
Thanks namefag

Kind of want a cute ace gf/bf now to cuddle with in bed and kiss and be very sexually frustrated..

>>7364110
When did we say that don't? We're pretty open with that shit since everyone asks anyway. Some people are like that, some people aren't.

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>>7364096
>>7364025
>we have a namefag now

am i asexual if sex feels like work and it never satisfies even remotely?

>>7364519
read the op, pls.

>>7364110
I never really understood the kinky but Asexual shtick... If you're turned on exclusively by fetish stuff but would never engage in those activities with other people, I understand labeling yourself as asexual, but if you desire sex with people because you have a kink, how is that asexual?
I think for the most part, outspoken asexuals are generally going to have more of the tumblr-tier ideas about asexuality. (You can be asexual and fuck a different person every other night! Just as long as you aren't technically attracted to them!)

>>7365008
I get turned on thinking about things such as:
-No longer having a penis (so that I don't have to deal with it anymore)
-Not having to orgasm ever again
-Just generally not having to deal with sexuality

I know that that is really oddly contradictory but it is what it is. My fetishes deal with no longer having fetishes. That's it. What category should I list myself as? My fetishes don't need anybody else. I'm perfectly fine on my own. However, I am fully capable of acting out fetishes with others if I so desired (for example, I could get a chastity cage and do stuff with that with someone else or something), and I get that some people may choose to do so in order to please a sexual partner.

>>7366807
Forgot to mention that I've gotten turned on a bit thinking of being dominated in general, which would require someone else. Although I find just about every classical dom/sub behavior disgusting, so I don't know what to think about that one.

It wouldn't be about the person though, solely about me, and would have to relate to the other fetishes mentioned, so yeah.

>>7365008
I think I've explained it here but I'll say it again because I can't remember.

Basically, I have desires for certain relationship dynamics that really be done normally so I move to kink in order to fulfill these desires. I don't really want to have sex with the person, I mostly disgust it, but there's still this weird romantic attraction towards those relationships.

For example, I really have the desire to be in a relationship where I'm basically something close to a knight/dog/servant and I live to protect and care for someone while they in turn make sure I'm working perfectly for them. Kink is only way where I could possibly do something like that but still be consensual.

So I'm basically a kinky asexual because of this.


>(You can be asexual and fuck a different person every other night! Just as long as you aren't technically attracted to them!)

That actually can happen but I find it weird to have sex with someone without that attraction because it sounds like you're using the person as a living sex toy to fulfill your desires.

>>7366807
>My fetishes deal with no longer having fetishes.

i don't think you understand what the word fetish means

>>7367560
Oh no, I do. I don't think you understand what I meant.
I acknowledge it's a weird situation. I hate it. I hate it so much.

>>7368042
Never knew that was possible tbqh. So do you get aroused and then get turned off at being aroused?

>>7368051
No, I get aroused, masturbate, then get deeply saddened that this will continue.

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Am I the only one here feeling broken because I'm aro ace ?

It took me a long time to digest the fact that I was asexual, now it doesn't bother me at all, fortunately.
But I just couldn't stand the fact that I was aromantic, pretending to be lesbian just to make me feel better, but it's been months that I've finally decided to accept it and it fucking hurts.

I don't want to be alone, because I know that all my friends are gonna make a family and are going to leave me behind. I will make my parents sad because they won't have grandchildren and because I'll be alone, and I'll keep lying to other people about having feelings for someone that doesn't exist, just to make them think I'm normal. I've never felt romantic or sexual attraction to anyone, not even crushes, nothing. I'm almost 23 and I still feel like a child somehow.

I can't fucking stand it, I'm tired. Sorry for the rant but I just want to feel something, anything, for someone.

How to tell if you're asex or just really freakin scared of having sex with people, to the point you don't see them sexually?

>>7368054

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Post%20Ejaculation%20Depression%20Syndrome

fairly common result of hormones

>>7371345

i'm 55 and never married no children.
my parents don't care, they have other grandchildren.
my friends don't care, they have their families and are jealous of my freedom.

i'm glad i don't have the responsibility of children.

you are still 'normal' you just took the road less travelled.

it is going to be fine, just relax.

>>7368054
>>7372565

I was gonna say this too. It honestly just sounds like you're feeling guilty about masturbating (for whatever reason) and then experiencing the regret phase everyone has after finishing.

There's got to be something to it that feels good right? So why not just embrace it?

>>7372444
If I knew the answer to that I'd have much less anxiety

>>7372937

In therapy they have you complete sentences..
For example,
"I am afraid of having sex because..."
"When I think about having sex I feel..."
etc.

Just fill in the blanks with your first reaction and sometimes you will be surprised by what you say. This can help you get in touch with what is bothering you. Then you can take steps to neutralize it.

For example:
"I am afraid to have sex with another person because they might think I am ugly"

Then you can work on your perception of yourself and your self esteem.

"When I think about sex with someone else I get nervous because I think it might be painful"

Then you can think about things you can do to help minimize the potential for pain during sex like experimenting with lubricants and dildos of different sizes before actually attempting sex with a real person.

If you can imagine your worst fears and then find ways of neutralizing them or at least responding to them in a safe way you can eliminate much of your anxiety.

>>7372565
>>7372922
I'm aware of post-ejaculation depression. I don't like the process from start to finish and very much wish I didn't have to do it at all. Plus my orgasms are very much underwhelming, so there really isn't any amount of it that feels that good. I'd rather do so many other things, but of course hormones are a thing and it becomes hard to do anything after a point.

I feel extra disgusted afterward, but I still very much hate it before and doing. I do it to get it over with. It really isn't that enjoyable. I'm pretty much convinced that everybody is lying about how good masturbation is. There's no way I feel things the same way most do.

>>7373554
Well there's got to be something good to it right since it sounds like you keep doing it? Orgasms are literally evolved to feel good, just deal with it and enjoy it and then move on to other things

>>7371455
>Nothin' wrong with having a name :)
Actually yeah because name fags tend to become the face of the threads they tend to frequent. It's like how Ed Hardy was to douchey guys.

>>7372444
read the op pls

>>7373721
I keep doing it because I have a libido so I get horny and I can't focus on anything. I do currently deal with it and then move onto other things.

>>7374713
>I have a libido

then you're not ace.
go talk about your masturbation guilt with a therapist. this isn't the place for it.

>>7374726
Not that OP, but you can actually be ace and still have a libido. If you want to be nitpicky, they're probably gray asexual

Asexual = lack of sexual attraction

Libido is similar to hunger. Sexual attraction is similar to craving something. You eat and perform sexual actions to relieve these feelings.

>>7374726
Just cause you're asex doesn't mean you can't get horny.

>>7372444
Question of the year, huh.

I'm dealing with the same thing. I just hope I have a severe case of performance anxiety, sexual repression and dick problems from incorrect masturbation instead of being asex. Those things are fixable. Being asex isn't.

>>7374726
You're very dumb

>>7314947

>>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?

Sex isn't really my cup of tea, but if you want to, go for it.

>>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?

Sex, no. Masturbate, yes.

>>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?

reasons

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>reading an ace romance webcomic
>ends with the ace person being accepted as themselves and is now in a happy relationship
>tfw you realize this will never happen to you

>>7381796
Link it zoidberg!

>>7381796
I really hope the webcomic is me tomorrow. I feel miserable right now because I learned I am ace while dating my current partner and plan to tell him tomorrow.

>>7383355
How did you learn it? I'd like to hear what happened and your thought process, if its not too personal

>>7383355
Let us know how this goes, please. Good luck

HA I'm not an ace afterall!

Holy shit this was a relief.

It turns out I'm just a heavily repressed person with a fucked up cock from bad masturbation technique, but that's fixable.

>>7383355
Yes, give us the story. Maybe you're in the same boat as me.

I'm pretty sure most ITT are, actually.

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>>7383765
Mate, we told you asexuality was about sexual attraction a bunch of times.

>>7383921
How is that contrary to what I've said?

>>7383930
sexual attraction =/= sexual impotency or erectile dysfunction.

Sexual attraction is simply the desire to have sexual contact with another person. If one were simply able to sit down and think about if they have that and if not, what is the root of all of it.

What I'm basically trying to say is that a lot of aces aren't like you in your situation. They've usually already been told they're sexually repressed by multiple people and have already gone through the process of turning their brain over and thinking over and over about it and still come back as ace.

You're kinda just being a person that would fill up the bingo sheet now.

>>7383975
Firstly I am not impotent.

Secondly I have no erectile dysfunction. My dick has some issues but they're not that serious and they do not affect my ability to get erect.

Thirdly do you know what the word 'repressed' means?

>"the action or process of suppressing a thought or desire in oneself so that it remains unconscious."

It's not that you want to do sexual stuff but something's holding you back. Having something be repressed means you have no idea that you even have the desires in the first place.

I could be lying next to someone and not feel like I want to make a move.

I could be getting kissed and not feel like enjoying it.

I could even be getting bj or fucked up the ass and still not feel a thing.

Like I said I never used porn and I never had any sexual fantasies (and I'm 21), so I'd say I foot the bill perfectly for being asexual.

However recent experiences have shown me that I have some severe psychological issues that have stopped me so far from enjoying sexual activity.

I haven't fully figured out what exactly was my problem, but I managed actually enjoying this kind of thing.

I have a fucked up mind with a lot of compulsive intrusive thoughts that can take me out of the moment, which kills off any sense of pleasure and enjoyment and leaves only the physical sensation and a confused state of mind, cucked into merely observing what's happening instead of participating in it. Add in a fear of criticism and performance anxiety and you've got a great cage.

But that is not the full image since as I said, I even used to lack the ability to even fantasize about having sex. I'm not even sure if I can do it now.

LONG STORY SHORT I am fairly convinced a large portion, if not the huge majority of asexual people, are simply those who haven't been able to overcome the barriers that keep them from enjoying sex.

>>7384155
I didn't read any of that but now that you're not ace could you please leave?

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>>7384155
>I have a fucked up mind, have (uncommon) severe psychological issues, so I'm not ace
>Most "ace" people are just like me and are just unaware they like sex
Pick one

>some asexuals have sex to maintain relationships
>as in, the relationship will end if they don't have sex
>some asexuals are effectively blackmailed and raped but are under the belief that this is a normal situation

explain

>>7384623
>blackmailed and raped
Choosing to have sex because you want to please your partner and keep them interested in your relationship isn't even close to being the same thing as getting "blackmailed", let alone "raped". Please stop trivializing rape with your delusional bs.

>>7384761

My university's sexual harassment program says that if, in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, someone tells you "you have to have sex with me or we're breaking up," that's blackmail and rape if that person's tactics succeed. Why should the situation be any different if you're asexual?

>>7314947
>It has been officially accepted by the DSM-V and is no longer seen as a disorder.

The fuck are you talking about? What do you mean "accepted" by the DSM 5?

And it's 5 not V, you idiot.

Fuck, I'm so sick of people talking about shit they know nothing about.

>>7384792
Your university's sexual harassment program is retarded. Blackmail means threatening someone with the release of certain information. Rape means physically forcing someone to have sex. Having an expectation of sex in order to be interested in a relationship is neither of those things, because the asexual person in this hypothetical scenario can simply respond 'okay then I guess we are breaking up'.

>>7384435
I may be just as 'ace' as you :)

>>7384439
>being "ace" is anything common or average in the first place
Oh come on, when someone identifies with some obscure sexuality, you just know there's something off in their head.

And I never said they must be like me. Just that they probably also have some issues keeping them from enjoying sexual activities.

I'm just a very observant, introspective and self critical person. Someone else with the same issues as me could have easily just labeled themselves as asexual and be done with it. I almost did it myself.

>>7384908
I think you're on to something. It's hard not to notice that "asexuals" always seem to be young, edgy leftists typically enrolled at a university with the kind of liberal professors that make them obsessed with identity politics. Also "asexuals" tend to be sexually active, and KINKY.

>>7384935
The "kinks" have been explained multiple in this thread

Many aces will have sex in order to fulfill the needs of their partner or are simply grayace.

Asexuality is still a new word and would probably only be known in liberal communities and more conservative areas would label an asexual person under "repressed" or "broken" or a "very late bloomer".

>>7384792
You realize that many relationships don't really deal with blackmail-like techniques and actually are just communicating their feelings like grown adults, right?

>>7384816
>The fuck are you talking about? What do you mean "accepted" by the DSM 5?
Basically, what happened was that the guidelines for hypoactive sexual desire disorder were changed to say that if the subject identifies as asexual, the person can't really be diagnosed with that condition.

I was trying to shorten the faq a bit and summarized it.

I can paste the actual quote if you want.

>And it's 5 not V, you idiot.
I mean... people still say "V" for the 5th edition and said "IV" for the 4th edition but I can change it

>>7384155
I'm completely open to the idea of my asexuality being a mental issue of some sort. I can barely be in any social situation without falling into the position of just being the quiet guy sitting there.. even when drunk or high.

So who knows what things I've repressed

>>7386537
If you're interested, I suggest going to an actual professional than listen to us armchair therapists.

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>>7386584
>pedoromantic

>>7386584
Homo

I'm curious, how old are you people? I'm 23 but I would guess the average age is lower

>>7386644
21. Figured out I was ace about a year ago.

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>>7386742
>18
>that name

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>>7386784

>>7386803
Lol

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>>7386584
Homoromantic.

Which is kinda hell because guys love sex, and I'm literally trying to find the opposite here

>>7386742
Man fuck off, seriously
For Christ's sake, this is why people hate namefags

>>7384155
If you think you're the first to come here thinking you have it all figured out, you're wrong on both counts. Just go on your merry way. You have nothing to really accomplish here.

>>7386644
I'm 19. Yeah, the average age here may be lower but that may very well be because of what was said earlier, that younger people are more likely to be exposed to the term. I don't remember where I heard it, though. And I denied it for a few years before really coming to accept it a couple years ago.

>>7384792
If your university's program is anything like mine's, just ignore it. Ignore it and the LGBTQIABULLSHITPUSSYAIDS+ club it's attached to.

>>7384435
You should something fully before responding to it.

>>7387388
Iktf anon

>>7383355 here, just did it and not to my surprise we decided to end things. I feel like a terrible human being, he was very patient and kind to me the whole process.

>>7383477
>>7383765
I always figured my disinterest in sex was due to inexperience. With my first sex partner, the feeling lingered, but I chalked it up to nerves. With my now ex, it was basically confirming what I had already suspected. When we started dating I couldn't wait to see him; towards the end I was basically dreading the next time we would meet up because there was the possibility we would have sex. It was at this point that I knew I had to face reality and end things before we both got even more emotionally invested. Sorry for the blog post.

>>7387764
I can relate to this

>>7386644
I'm 23 too

>>7348486
have you ever tried a D/s style sexual relationship, or are you just assuming that you would hate it?

>>7348593
:CCCCCCC

>that feel

>>7353378
>nope

>>7363534
same. I never understood people who say it tastes good. What am i suppose to be tasting other than a flavor that should be nowhere near my face?

>>7384155
repression...sorta...isn't.....real.

>>7384868
No, that's not what rape is. Rape is not taking NO for an answer, and/or not obtaining consent. If the person is not willingly able to consent to something due to fear and intimidation tactics, that could definitely be considered blackmail and/or rape.

>>7388840
Have you ever tried pouring hot wax on your eyelids for pleasure, or are you just assuming that you would hate it?

>>7388844
please stop talking to that louse

>>7389113
well be is saying he has D/s fantasies, so I'm wondering if he hates real life D/s, or is just assuming he wouldn't like it. Greysexual here too, btw, and I'm talking to the tripfag.

>>7390165
Thanks.

I think sometimes people's fetishes can go against their ethics. For example, you can be a pedophile and think sex with children is wrong at the same time. Sexuality isn't a cognitive-to-sensual, top-down process. If it was, we would all be choosing our sexuality and/or fetishes. I was talking to tripfag:HALP last night, who said he had D/s fantasies, and doesn't wan't to be asexual. My question for him is: If you have the fantasy, why not act on it and see if you like it? A lot of asexual people don't have fetishes, but he does. It just seems like a logical first step to finding out what he is.

>>7391082
>>7391026
he's not a tripfag. he's a namefag.

How do you "seduce" an asexual into a romance?

>>7391808
Head pats and talking about cute things. Never ever delve into lewd though

Works every time 100% confirmed tested

>>7391808
The same way you would a regular person but without the sex parts.

>>7314947
>Many asexuals have differing feelings towards sex and masturbation? What are yours?
I don't care about it. It's natural, nothing wrong with it, I'm not sex-negative.
>Do you personally masturbate or have sex?
Now that's a personal question. I've had sex before, but it was underwhelming. Maybe it was me, the person or whatever, but it was eh.
>Why the fuck do non-aces always bring up masturbation into the topic?
Because they think that masturbation necessitates relevance to sexuality.

>>7390165
>worst hand
Yea

>>7391429
If not a fetish, what is it?

I can't stand people who are delusional in this way.

>>7393785
>thinking that a pedophile won't try to talk his way out of saying it's not a choice/fetish

It's a fetish and this confirms that all namefags are cancer.

>>7314947
Reminder that Aces aren't all ugly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brN915ZoJ2I

>>7393827
>you will never cuddle Mr. Clean

>>7393848
You're ugly in the inside

>>7393866
Don't scratch the rash and it'll go away, anon.

>>7317922
Thanks God I'm not gay but asexual

>>7393827
Thanks for posting this. I almost think this video deserves to be in the OP. She also has a video on attraction, particularly emotional, that might be useful as well. She is right on the money about so, so many things.

>>7393827

>how do you know you're not going to like being castrated if no one's ever whipped out a knife and started hacking at your balls
>tfw I'll never meet someone like this
>tfw if I ever meet an asexual girl, they will have probably had lots of sex already due to social norms
>tfw know it's not fair to pass judgment on them but it still intimidates me/weirds me out because I'm one of the permavirgin aces

>>7394007
>one of the permavigin aces
>one
There's a large portion, mate.

>>7317922
>enjoy sex
What the fuck.

Why are liberals wanting to make absolutely everything meaningless.

"I HAVE SEX AND I FUCKING LOVE IT BUT IM AN ASEXUAL SO THAT MAKES ME SPECIAL AND NOW I CAN PLAY IDENTITY POLITICS"

>>7395229
I don't get it.
Are you saying if you're ace you're not supposed to enjoy sex ?
I mean there's an obvious disinterest because there's a lack of "connection", that doesn't mean the physical response can't be enjoyable at one point.
Besides, the only ones I see crying wolf about the whole special snowflake shenanigan are paranoid sexuals. Most snowflakes would go for something a lot more "glittery" and "problematic" if I may say so myself.

>>7396278
>the only ones
I meant to say more like "most people". Quite the misleading mistake...

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Anyone here seems to pay less attention to specifically people's bodies than everyone else?
I pay a lot of attention to people's faces and clothes and all, but when it comes to bodies I pretty much only care for more obvious things like being overweight and etcetera. I don't notice a lot of shit most people say are obvious.

>>7396278
If this is what the 'sexuality' is, then it shouldn't be any more a community than like the 'infrequent masturbators' community. What the fuck do you have to talk about? Just live your life; you're not a queer person.

>>7396562
Guys, where's the bingo card...

Jokes aside, calm down. Think about it, if there's a community, it's probably because there's something common the people in question share. In this case, thoughts and discomforts here and there - they identify with the same feels and experiences are pretty similar between aces. It's not "TERRIBLE" (yeah, no goulags for aces :P) in a sense, so that's why it's left in a corner. They're minding their own business, it's okay to occasionally question yourself too.
Don't flip and think aces are thinking about being ace "victims" 24h/7, that's beyond absurd.

>>7396535
Same. It mindboggles me when i get people telling me this or that person is "charming" or "fuckable" when i sincerely think they're ugly. Then they tell me they're indeed ugly but totally "fuckable". That's one of those cases you just know you're completely missing a variable here... XD

>>7396562
I hate to say it but there actually is such a thing as the 'infrequent masturbators' community (it's called nofap)

>>7397419
nofap cured my blindness and helped me walk again

>>7398070
Can confirm, occasionally go a few days without fapping and I can walk and have sight

>>7398396
If you go for a year, you achieve nirvana and can fly.

>>7398399
Liar. I didn't fap for like 12 years straight until I discovered it and I couldn't fly then

>>7398655
The trick is that when you break the seal of fapping, it releases massive energy. By not fapping, you hold in energy and can use it for other purposes. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

>>7398665
I don't think that's how energy works. Trust me, I'm a physics major.

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>>7398669
>implying genitals aren't energy batteries
>implying you can't fly by the literal seat of your pants if you don't fap by simply using the stored energy

>>7395229
I honestly think that if you cannot enjoy sex or masturbation there must be something physically wrong with you

>>7398687
I know there are some aces and non aces that can't really enjoy sex but that's usually due to some disability or physical problem such as autism or vaginismus. Like, some people get really uncomfortable with the feeling of a building orgasm and I find it very interesting to read about.

i wish i could experience sexual attraction or even any kind of libido i feel like i'm really fucked up. ;-; what do please? i feel like its impossible for me to find anyone i'm getting to the point i'd be willing to date another girl or hell even a tranny. just anyone that could understand that i have not and will not ever want to have sex with them, but that doesn't mean i like them any less.

>>7385334
>I mean... people still say "V" for the 5th edition and said "IV" for the 4th edition but I can change it

IV was always IV and never 4. All previous editions were done with Roman numerals. This edition was specifically done with the Arabic numeral 5 to make it easier for updates, e.g., 5.1, 5.2, etc.

>>7400491
In all seriousness, if you have zero libido consider seeing a doctor. Just double check that it isn't hormonal.

>>7401350
if it is hormonal, you can stick aphrodisiacs into your jugular.

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How do you guys make sense out of sexual attraction? Like, the concept makes basically no sense at all to me. I get that it's a desire for sexual contact with another person, but... What. The least confusing was redirecting my libido or something. If someone mentions it while talking with me, I just don't think too hard and try to roll with it.

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Where my MI aces at?

-Thomas
-Ann Arbor Anon
-Person who is in between Ann Arbor and Detroit

Wanna catch a movie sometime?

I made a post earlier, not sure if in this thread or the previous and I'm too lazy to search for it.
I mentioned that one of my friends was going to try to get me in contact with this one ace girl she knows (so trying to get us together). This still hasn't happened (end of the semester, so finals are in the way), but I've since learned that she identifies as agender.

For lack of a better term, do I stick my dick in crazy?
Do I even consider dating this kind of person, even if I'm kinda desperate?

>>7405005
When I feel attracted to people I feel an urge to go hug them or otherwise get physically close to them. I imagine it as analogous to that, just with feeling some kind of urge to be inside them/have them inside you/rub parts/whatever.

>>7408981
>agender
Boy I'd be a bit careful. She might be one of the few chill ones, but be wary.

>>7405775
Hello, I am Michigan.

>>7405005
As a Role Player, I feel awkward trying to RP normal characters. I don't understand sexual attraction either so I abuse stereotypes about sexual people based on what friends tell me and/or imagine it's just like romantic attraction but "a step further", as in, instead of hugging you want to stick it or get fukked. It seems to do the trick just fine.
It freaks me out a little how some RPers can be so passionate writing very intricate sex scenes while I'm just there like, please, get done with it... I focus a lot more on the mental (thus more romantic) responses, because the physical responses as I know them are sooo mechanical and detached... I swear, they make it sound like it's some heavenly stuff.

>>7411563
My friend says she's one of the chill ones but I'm still wary.
On the other hand though, it's kinda hard to find anybody and this may very well be my only shot for a long time.

>>7413632
My advice would be not to hold any expectations. It doesn't hurt to just try and meet up with her to get to know her. At best, you'll end up being friends and who knows what could be next. But don't expect to end up with her either like right away or something. I know you're desperate (and some of us are too, eh...) But yeah, don't expect the best nor the worst. Let it come to you. Best of luck, though!

>>7413778
Yeah that's the plan. I doubt she'd be a radical or something so it can't go that poorly. Who knows how it'll go. I always just assume the worst and hope for the best and that's worked well enough so far.
Thanks

>>7414036
Good luck, anon

sexhaver genocide when?

>>7416715
>Now 55 people left remaining on the planet
I don't think that would solve our trouble

>>7416715
>not calling them fuckers

>>7315553
>The body motions are ugly, dicks are gross and vaginas seem like a sort of alien shit

YES, THIS IS WHAT SEX IS, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES? CHRIST.

>>7408981
She might be fine. I know a couple of non-binary/agender people who really just don't give a fuck about gender. On the other hand, there are a decent number out there who want to be special snowflakes about it and make you use weird pronouns depending on how they're feeling that day etc. Those ones are crazy and I'd recommend staying away from them.

The fact that she seems to be ok with female pronouns is a good sign.

Like others said though, you can't really expect much. Just because you're both asexual doesn't mean you'll be compatible or even get along. At the same time, you have to keep an open mind and accept that the dating pool is pretty fucking tiny for us.

>>7420107
I don't know what she's okay with. It's just a mutual friend that refers to her as "she"/"her".

I'm not expecting us to be compatible. I'm hoping for some amount of compatibility, but I do not at all expect it. At this point though it's looking like a meetup isn't going to happen anyway so it doesn't matter. The dating pool was small anyway, this doesn't make it any noticeably smaller.

>>7420062
Not that person but I would at least like it to not be something out of a silent hill game.

>you can never do "netflix and chill" without someone thinking you want to fuck

>>7420954
>sudden realization that the times I've asked friends if they want to come over to "watch a movie or something" have been turned down because of this
>have asked friends this a good number of times, usually at night because that's when I'm free

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>>7421881
>dude asks if I'm free to watch a movie with him
>sweet
>eat pizza and watch cool movies
>cuddle with him because we're friends
>realize that he was covertly asking for sex
>he paid for all the food because he just looking for the puss
>friendly affection was actually "friendly affection"
>mfw

>>7421916
Did he make a move? Or how did he handle the situation?

>>7421916
>>cuddle with him because we're friends
srsly?

>>7421924
I know, it's stupid. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to sexual attraction and all that jazz. This is like figuring out another language.

>>7421923
I guess he made a move?
I mean, I was pretty dumb and there was chest touching but I was on a hippie campus so I had gotten used to friends hugging and cuddling me so when I hopped over to the other campus, I didn't really understand the intent and thought it was just friendly. Plus the dude was pretty weird so I just placed him in the "weird cuddler" category I was familiar to.

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>there are people that think that gay aces and bis are just watered down gays

I'm sorry if you guys get pestered with this question a lot, but I don't know if I'm asexual or not. I have a sex drive and I fap to weird fetish shit, but I don't actually desire to have real sex with other people, and the expectation/pressure to have sex makes me very anxious. What is this?

>>7405775
>>7411655
I'm in Battle Creek

>>7424522
asexuality = lack of sexual attraction
sexual attraction = desire for sexual contact

sex drive is irrelevant. fetishes tend to not be relevant.

Just ask yourself "Is/was there anyone I desire to have sexual contact with"

If yes, you're not ace.

If no, ask yourself why you don't have any desire.

>>7424522
What >>7424551 said.
I fap to weird fetish shit too, but there's no way I'm ever sticking it anywhere other than my hand.
The only time someone can get me erect in person is by direct physical stimulation, and even then it's just biological reaction, not sexual attraction.

>come upon a clip where a ripped buff dude is wading out of the water
>see comments about how he's so handsome and such
>can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable it must be to walk in the water with jeans on

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>>7411655
>>7424522

Cool! Wanna hang? Ann Arbor's got an arcade that's pretty sweet

Why this general is so low and dead ?

>>7428602
There aren't very many of us.

>>7428602
We stay afloat because of the trolls, and there haven't been a lot of trolls this time around

>>7393827

I considered myself ace for years, but now it seems that whenever I am drunk I get gay. Having sex still a big no from me but I just want to rub up against other women and it's really weird.

What's up with that?

>>7428677
o-okay

>>7429289
What's sexual about wanting to rub up against people? That's called becoming really goddamn cuddly

We page 10 now

>>7429289
nigga you gay

>>7430862
I guess you also think that dogs humping legs are being cuddly?

here you go faggots
>>7433495