How >JUST is your life currently, /lgbt/?

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>>7314409
on all scales

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>tfw no bf
Very.

I posted it here >>7314188

>>7314409
lol hey, whats the picture about?

Voices in my head are telling me too kill myself.
You tell me

>>7314610
shes my daughter... my daughter.....

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>tfw no bf
>tfw your boss' boyfriend thinks you and his ol' lady are low-key fucking and wants to kill you but you can't reveal that you're gay because you'll just get your ass beat for that too
>tfw had to more or less cut ties with a good friend because of the above conundrum

Fuck me up senpai.

>>7314650
Wanna share any more details? like why the fuck shes incapacitated?

Im going to die alone.

>>7314676
Make a suicide pact with me and we can die together

>>7314409
i haven't left the house in 4 years

>>7314676
if your a lesbian, or "trans man" pre hrt, I could have sex with you then promise you drugs that would lead to a painless death...youd have to take them yourselves for legal reasons though.

>>7314691
hope you have a cunt

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>tfw living in the middle of nothing
>tfw everyone in real life hates you or is at least angry at you
>tfw everyone online hates you
>tfw permanent oneitis is a boring ultra-normie who got you expelled from university
>oneitis is also famous and every time they appear in media it's like being spat in the face
>tfw apartment is mold filled and makes it impossible to sleep in without becoming extremely sick
>either dehydrated or malnourished all the time
>tfw income and job consists solely of selling shitty /mu/core bootleg shirts online to pay for rent
>totally forgotten by family and the 1-2 friends I had years ago
i don't have a future but i'm not going to end it... maybe i can ride it out just a little longer....

Almost going to be 25 in January. Boyfriend been dead for 8 years, best friend killed himself late September, waiting to be hired in the police department in the IT division but the cmdr doing my hiring has been out sick for a month. Been out of a job since January 2015. Drinking beer at the local Irish pub and have one cigarette left.

Alternate between feeling content with distracting myself from reality and wanting to die, so I don't have to live out the lonely, ugly tranny failure I know I'm going to be.

>>7314710
Sure, I have a very long cunt I could stuff inside yours.
>>7314740
You go ahead n ride it out a little longer, ride that dick.

>>7314789
>very long
dont flatter yourself

>>7314409
>no BF
>no friends period
>lanky skeleton with acne
>gay virgin

At least I'm not a NEET anymore.

>>7314793
if you wish to use your ass as a measuring device, be my guest.

>>7314409
What do you mean by JUST as in justice? Getting what we deserve?

>>7314851
That sounds about right.

>>7314851
It's a meme you dip.

>no bf/gf for almost 4 years now
>Friends all live at least a 5 hour drive from me
>lonely in Wyoming and getting dark at like 4:30;_; the worst.
The good things.
>started lifting about 3 months ago seeing gains.
>Started warhammer again, painting has been fun.
Winter means hot coffee and shooting guns on weekends so can't complain to much. I only wish I had some one to do it with.

>>7314870
"Just fuck my shit up"

Good:
>best shape of my life
>look like a girl, only getting girlier
>job I can keep post transition even if it's nothing special
>supportive friends
>mom says she's okay with this
>weed will be legal in my state soon

Bad:
>student debt mounting
>academic probation because I skip classes. I have no idea why I just panic and can't be around people sometimes. It's weird.
>dad's not going to be okay with it
>boymode
>electrolysis on hold until I have my own apartment
>the more I fix myself physically the more I realize I'm mentally fucked up
>trapped in ridiculous small town with begrudging parents for at least 4 months
>my best friend didn't actually keep my secret and told nearly all our mutual friends who have been pretending to not know for a year
>desperately need space away from parents who treat me like a fragile autistic

I'm 21, I don't know how optimistic this should sound

>>7314906
>The more I change myself to suit my delusions, the more it makes me mentally fucked up

Fixed that for you buddy.

>>7314906
normie get out reeeee

>>7314740
Caraposter?

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>>7314955
YES, why?

>>7314917
Don't you have anything better to do than be a little malignant troll?

>>7314917
Nah, don't blame you for thinking that though. I used to be obese as fuck and devoid of genuine emotions. Sure I'm an emotional wreck but I'm actually feeling stuff and im healthy. Not sure what delusions you think I have, I'm just a tranny nothing more nothing less.

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>>7315067
Tranny stuff aside, god job on no longer being a fatty.

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>>7314974
Its trolling to tell the truth?
>On LGBT
Oh, right, I gotcha...yeah, I'm a "troll". Forgot truth was hated here.

>>7314740
>who got you expelled from university
hahahahaha when's the restraining order being served?

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>>7314740
I know you hate ftms and all but we have very similar lives and i feel for u

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>>7315535
Probably never because they're an extreme coward who had to work through the university to attack me when all they had to do was ask.

>>7314906
u r living my nightmares, makes me not want to go trans all the more.

also,how r u mentally fucked up n how did u not know before transition?

>>7315233
Trips is truth..

>>7315566
Honestly the negative stuff is mostly because of me. Transitioning is so far one of the only things I've done, done well and have not regretted. It's been a net positive.

My mental problems are things I was ignoring back when I was a disassociated lump. Ive always had intense mood swings, no ambition and low self esteem. I told myself these things were directly caused by my dysphoria and that fixing myself physically would fix myself mentally.

Truth is some of that is from.being trans and not treating it but a lot more of it was my childhood and even more than that was the habits I'd fallen into.

Transitioning won't automatically fix your life but if you have dysphoria I recommend it. I'd at least prefer to not be an example for you to not get help since my life's not too bad.

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>>7314963
i suddenly no longer feel rage at you, just pity

a family member used my computer and seen all the trans porn i watch. forgot to delete... Now everyone knows and I've been thinking of suicide.

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>>7314409
>tfw 21 and already JUST
Gay death came early to me, like 5 years ago.

>>7314740
>>7315543
cara, i think if you took on a more pro-ftm view you would be more accepted on this board
we're the ones most sympathetic towards you by far
hell i'm the only one here who genuinely likes you in any way

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>>7314409
>tfw been living in torture for years
>still can't get a job
>still can't pay for hrt
>still can't pay for an apartment
>cant get a script because deep south
>dont have the motivation to move out of bed
>parents hate me because I'm a failure
>tfw it doesn't look like things will change soon

Not sure what else I can do.
Could be worse I guess, at least I can live life as a girl in my dreams.

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>>7316390
I know that it's impossible to love me so I know that you're lying about liking me. Stop.

>>7316593
you're being self-defeating, friend

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>>7316605
What makes you think you're different than the others?

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> be me
> have a low paid work with study in 21
> still looking like femboy on 6 month of full HRT, and about a two years of increase of dose from 0
> still have a boy voice cause of laziness
> thinks that i have no need in, because I just don't want to be an ugly man
> sometimes thought I am
> don't want to come in any "woman" being also
> no any desire to make SRS except of FFS

> tfw no b/gf ever
> have only online "relationships"
> lose it, because I'm selfish one jerk
> feels bad, man
> don't want any relationships w/ anyone, except this sort of lesbian\pansexual girl
> have no any friends now
> loneliness approaches

My embers smoldering inside me.

>>7316736
i have no interest in proving my difference -- that's what makes me different
i am just interested in improving your life to the best it can be

>>7315543
Why the hell are there 3 fleshlights and a bunch of film canisters in your freezer

Fairly JUST. It's hard to admit that my existence has been even more devastating than it is now.

I'm beginning to believe that you are either just lucky or you aren't. All the intelligence and effort in the world can't unfuck a terminally fucked up situation.

>Live with fundamentalist, conservative christian family
>Be a biscum tranny nonbeliever
>Be incredibly bad at/afraid of socializing with others
>Have no skills, am bad at pretty much everything
>No drive or ambition, have literally never felt confident in myself at all
>Chances are good I won't be able to pass
>Not see offline friends for almost a year, correspondence with online friends irregular
>Lots and lots of suicidal thoughts

I'm too scared to commit suicide, but I possess the means to do so.

>>7317029
maybe, just maybe you would feel happier getting a job, and being cis???

>mid 20s
>never once been called ma'am
>FFS-unfixable head
>seethe with rage whenever seeing real girls or passing/young tranny or myself in the mirror
>3 years NEET

>>7317101
I've been browsing online for jobs. I'll probably get one once the holidays end.

Being a cis girl sounds nice.

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>going nowhere
>unending ptsd
>no escape
>quickly getting older
>look like an alien monster
>need ffs
>no courage to make it happen
>somehow pass without fault
>unhappy with my relationship
>sex is unsatisfying or puts me in tears
>3 year srs waiting list
>can't ever fall asleep
>psychologist, psychiatrist both say I have nothing to be depressed about
>'just get more confidence somehow'
>alcohol, drugs until I cut myself
>know I have to kill myself sometimes
>nothing will fix me
>don't want to be remembered as a boy or a tranny
>I can't even kill myself right

>>7317226
you feel like shit because your living a lie. your therapist doesnt care. good partners never put you in tears with sex

>>7314740
>>7314745
I don't know either of you, but you are going through hard times, and I want to say that I love you.

>>7316765
Fuckin nerd