Convincing my bf not to take hrt

It's obvious you don't give a fuck about his dysphoria, it's ridiculous you equate HRT with "ruining" his body.
Drop the relationship, don't hold him back and don't let him hold you back.

>>7278943
I don't see how his dysphoria can be that bad when I've seen him look smoking hot as a girl and rock it. He just wants to "look like a man." But everyone close to him already accepts him as a man, changing his body would just be conforming to the stereotype of what a man looks like.

>>7278861
>trans guy
>I don't understand why he wants to be manly
>I support him being a guy 100%
So much hypocrisy. Just break up with him if you can't love him anymore.

>>7278982
There's nothing wrong with being a fem guy, in fact teenage girls adore them. That's the way his dna made him, and I think he's perfect that way. There are lots of fem guys out there and they don't get upset over it or take hormones.

>>7279004
Femguys aren't real trans like femboys aren't real trans.

Ask him what he wants to be, trans or a femguy, instead of making the decision yourself.

>>7278972
He was closeted at the time of being a girl, you dingdong. That much is obvious. That doesn't mean he enjoyed it.

>>7279004
Yeah, and your boyfriend doesn't seem to be one of them.

>>7278972
when you have dysphoria, you don't care if you're "rocking it" in terms of the incorrect gender. and it's not enough for people close to you to accept your gender. clearly he wants to be thought of as a normal male by all of society.

honestly, you don't deserve this guy. you want him to stop a very important part of his life and identity just so you can stay attracted to his body. break up with him.

>>7279057
I don't want to lose the person I love. I don't think that is so wrong.

>>7279064
It's wrong when you're trying to make him forgo something that's vital to his life for your own selfish wants.

>>7279072
It isn't vital to his life though. He can be confident in his body and be accepted as a man without it. That's what I need to make him realize.

>>7279098
please understand people here are not attacking you, they are just stating an objective fact
your idea is wrong and comes from an inaccurate understanding of transsexualism
nobody can be accepted as male 100% of the time without medical transition, and absolutely nobody can be 'comfortable in his body' without it -- sex dysphoria is not simply 'thinks you have to look manly to be a guy', it is the overwhelming pain driven by the discordance between body and brain, and throughout the decades people have tried to 'accept it' but it simply cannot be accepted

>>7279098
you can't talk someone out of dysphoria dude. if you could we wouldn't be handing out tranny pills in the first place.

>>7279098
As you said, you're cis. How would you know what it's like to accept your own body as a trans man? It's a whole different set of things to overcome, some things that can only be solved with hormone therapy.

It's pretty scary how you think you have something to make him realize other than the fact he needs to leave you tbqh familia

>>>7279098
honestly you should kill yourself for being such an ignorant person. Your boyfriend is a MAN. Therefore he is going to be a man whether you like it or not. You trying to prevent your partner from receiving necessary medical treatment isn't going to work for either of you, so you might as well end the relationship and try dating an actual girl. The thing about dysphoria is he CAN'T be confident in his body and be accepted as a man without testosterone. You're so wrong it hurts, your perspective is a very uninformed one.

>>7279132
I wouldn't go so far to tell him to kill himself, he does seem to get that his boyfriend's a man. Just that he's selfish and think his boyfriend doesn't deserve hrt because he wants to fucc him

>>7279143
>he does seem to get that his boyfriend's a man
I don't think so. to me it sounds like he's one of those people that simply humors someone to get what they want out of them. I doubt he actually sees his boyfriend as a man.

>>7279132
Trannies are fucking awful vindictive people, jesus christ.

>>7279175
>4chan
>not expecting awful vindictive people all around

Shiggydiggy

>>7279098
It seems to be vital to him. Why don't you actually ask and listen to him?
>>7279175
One person isn't representative of everyone. The rest of us have been honest and polite while frank.

>>7279175
right, because we're the ones who are throwing people's desperate need for medical attention under the bus just to get some pussy. fuck off retard

>>7279187
this. funny how OP disregards all the advice and information and instead attempts to generalize an entire group of people cuz he cant handle being told to kill himself.

If your boyfriend was diagnosed with depression, would you tell him not to take anti-depressants? Don't take mood stabilizers if you're bipolar? Don't take insulin if you're diabetic?

Your boyfriend needs male-typical testosterone levels in his body, just like any other man. Being an unmedicated trans person is unhealthy. It is damaging. It is dangerous. HRT is about a hell of a lot more than just physical changes. It's what makes us functioning, healthy, human beings

>>7278861
Bruh.

Just because you look good as the opposite gender, that doesn't mean you like being that way. It can be nice to have the positive attention, and meanwhile you die a little on the inside because it's not who you really are at all. It's just a mask, not your self. All the love and attention that you can lavish on that flawed mask is not going to change the fact that for him, it feels like a mask. A constricting one. Taking HRT is a way for him to try and pry that mask off, and expose an appearance that he feels comfortable presenting to the world and to the people he loves. It has nothing to do with 'gender roles' and everything to do with feeling stable about his body.

If you don't think you can love him when he's more physically masculine, I think you need to make your peace with that now. He's not ruining his body- he's signing up to undergo the exact same process you underwent. It's puberty 2.0, not bodily destruction. It just means that the body you are currently attracted to will be different, and it sounds like it's in a way you don't think you'll be attracted to.

Also, I'ma be real with you- as a femboy, it's gonna be hard for him to pass, and he will be clearly visible as kinda faggy, or taken for a butch lesbian, and depending upon where you are, that can make him a target for violence. Meanwhile trans guys are stealth as everloving fuck a year or two down the HRT line. He may literally be safer for it in the long run.

>>7278861
>I don't understand why he wants to be manly now.
Because right now '''he''' knows that you're only respecting '''his''' pronouns because you respect '''him''', and not because they ACTUALLY APPLY, which is what she actually wants.

>>7279175
>painting a whole group of people with such a huge brush
You'd think people who belong to the LGB would see the irony in that. That said, as an FtM, I think OP should find someone else if he isn't into people with masculine secondary sexual characteristics. No one here is going to discourage his boyfriend from taking T. It's a wonderful, happy time for him, and he should be congratulated for moving forward with his transition, which will make his life and self-image much better. He deserves someone who loves him entirely, for who and what he is.

>>7278861
Just be honest with her: tell her you support her cosplay hobby, but you can't abide by her using steroids just to make her character more convincing.

>>7279430
Kek please say this so he dumps you on the spot

>>7279421
It doesn't apply to you, it's the estrogen that makes trans women crazy, same as real women.

>>7278861
just remind her that hormones are extremely dangerous, and that just because she wants to have short hair doesn't mean she has to undergo dangerous medications

>>7278861
>I and everyone close to him already sees him as a man.
>if he takes the hormones he will ruin the features that make him special and that I love about him (I'm not generally attracted to men)
i mean, obviously you dont see him as a man and that's the source of his dysphoria.

you should probably leave him now for both your sakes, the relationship will likely not survive, transition is a traumatic process

OP here again. I think I'll break up with him and leave town. I love him and I want the best for him, but of this is the decision he wants to make I can't be the one to give it to him. I think it will be easier if we don't remain friends. This seriously breaks my heart.

>>7279953
make sure you tell him why you're breaking up so he isn't encouraged to remain friends

>>7279957
Nah I don't wanna hurt him. I'll just leave and even if he tries to stay friends with me we'll barely talk until we lose touch.

>>7279953
thanks for doing the right thing OP. i hope u have success in future relationships.

>>7280035
that sounds pretty hurtful, friend
if you just tell him you can't accept his transition, it's ripping off the bandaid

>>7279953
I'm one of the anons advocating for the break up and I have to say I'm sorry OP. I hope this is all for the better however. I hope you better understand things in any case.

>>7279953
Totally reasonable to want to just cut things off completely, I imagine you're really upset about everything. That being said, I know someone who was in a somewhat similar situation as you. I know a cis guy who was dating someone who identified as female at the time, but broke up with the guy after realizing he was trans, and knowing that the cis guy is incredibly straight.

The cis guy was really upset and broken up about it, which is totally understandable. He needed some time and distance to deal with how he felt, but it's been 2ish years since then and they're good friends again. Not to say that you have to stay friends with your bf, but it is possible to still have a good friendship with him if you still care about him as a person beyond your relationship

File: Y526Pcr.jpg (348KB, 1535x1012px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 1535x1012px

>>7279689
ok hon

>>7280035
that's the most asshole way you could do it
if you can't be straight up about why, you don't deserve to break up.

>>7280216
If he doesnt deserve to break up give this dude some advice on how to stop his gf from becoming a manlet.

>>7278861
>I tried to explain to him that he's a beautiful man now and that if he takes the hormones he will ruin the features that make him special and that I love about him (I'm not generally attracted to men) and that I and everyone close to him already sees him as a man.
maybe you should try to be less destructive to another human being? At that point it's really better to just leave.

>>7278972

You have no idea what dysphoria means.
The social aspect is just gravy. The definition of dysphoria is being uncomfortable with your physical body in a vacuum. It's not wanting to be socially accepted as a man, it's a neurological fixation with being able to recognise your own body as male.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with you.

>my boyfriend is thinking of taking an asprin. He says he's had a raging headache all night, but he's been smiling and talking, and we even turned the lights down to accomodate him, I don't understand how he could possibly need an asprin when we all understand he has a headache, why is he doing this to me?

>>7280495
literally just say why you're breaking up and don't pull this "ghosting" bullshit
it's that simple

>>7280035
>being this big a passive bitch about it
Are you sure you're not a woman, OP?

>>7278982
>You want a femguy
> He wants to be manly gay?

Who is really confused here?

Seems your the disphoric one.
He knows what he wants.
Youre holding him back from being himself.

>>7280726
Did you misquote?

>>7278861

Then leave him and go on with your life.

You're being cruel and egotist. You are trying to fuck up a life just to keep having a hole to fuck.

Time has an infinite value for any trans person willing to transition (the later you transition,m the worse outcomes you'll havein your life).

Your cock is not more important than his life.

GTFO faggot

>>7279226
Anti-depressants work as well as placebo pills and are based on an unproven meme theory.
Lithium's side effects are awful and its primary effects are unethical.

File: 1478418043354.jpg (18KB, 331x444px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 331x444px

>>7281159
>Alex (I'm sorry)
?

>>7278861
Dude. Just let him do it, if you stop being attracted to him then just let him go, you'll both be happier this way.

>>7281177
I may or may not be paranoid about being forced to take medications I don't want, so I constantly argue against them.

>>7281278
Who is Alex?

>>7281279
That's me

>>7281286
Why are you sorry?

>>7281290
Because I'm fucked in the head and I ruin everything good in my life

Because I constantly annoy people I talk to without meaning to.
It's an apology in advance for making people's lives worse by communicating with them.

>>7281306
Well, you're ruining it again by namefagging. Please stop.

>>7278861
you cant
he wants to transition and you wont make yourself like a manly ftm
best you can do is remain friends and give him your support thorough hard times

>>7279953
Leaving town seems a bit much. If for some reason that feels like what you gotta do, go for it, but. Is he the only reason you're in that town? I'm not questioning your decision to break up, just. Don't go doing anything rash.
>>7279957
>>7280035
>not telling him why
....for fuck's sake though, be honest about this shit. You need to sit down with him and talk about this like an adult human being. It's gonna suck, but you owe it to him and to yourself to have this out in the open between each other. If you love this guy, and it sounds like you do, be up front about it. It doesn't change the fact that you love him, it just means it'll be a different kind of love. One without boning and romance, presumably.

If the loss of that is too painful, go ahead and move I suppose. I can understand wanting to cut ties to get your head straight. But for the love of everything holy, be honest. It's not your fault you're not into masculine dudes, it just is what it is. It -is- your fault if you break up with him and don't give either of you closure.

>>7279479
What?

>>7278861
You are a heterosexual man in a panromantic relationship, this means you are in what is known as a "lavender relationship." Look it up! For the most part, mixed orientation relationships are doomed to fail. This is actually a very big problem in the asexual community as asexual people often fall in love with people who are straight. There is often a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to "show your love." For example, in your post you mention loving your partner and seeing him as a "beautiful" man, which is to say you are attracted to his femininity. This doesn't feel good to a trans person(just like asexual people don't feel good when their romantic partners want to have sex with them). It's a complicated problem when orientations are mixed but there is genuine love involved. Feelings are almost guaranteed to get hurt.I don't have much advice to offer, except maybe for both of you to see a therapist. Try learning about the language of love, and also try learning about what it means to be trans. Your relationship may be doomed, but both of you will benefit from becoming a bit more self aware.