Do you feel depressed and jealous when you see girls on the street?

>>7266591

Honestly yeah. It's something I'm working on but sometimes I can't even be out and about, I get so envious. They have so much that I want, and a lot of them don't even think it's special. To themselves they're just regular people, but they're dreams to me.

>>7266591
Yup. And the more attractive they are the more envious and sadder I get. Hell I get that way looking at fucking pictures. Shit sucks

>>7266591
naturally

>>7266591
Pretty much, yeah. It's even worse when they're my height and the physical differences between my body and theirs are clear as day along with their voice which sounds clear and naturally feminine while mine sounds hoarse and uncanny at best.

>>7266591
No, bit I'm not trans.

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>>7266591
It's not really as bad when your repressed. Since I'm not trying to compete with them

>>7267880
it was just as bad for me

>>7267880
If you say so. I see girls every once in a while that makes me wonder why I'm alive. It's hard not to be pretty.

>>7266591
Yeah I hate to admit it but I've become so envious over the years I kinda dislike most women now because I can never be like them even with transition. I just think "why wasn't I born a girl but she was?" it's just not fair. I think about how much happier I'd been if I was born in the right body and all the experiences I'd have and it makes me so sad.

I wanna die so bad I wish someone who hates trannies would just kill me, I'd thank them.

>>7268152
You should masturbate once a day to dull your emotions

Just brute force that shit

>>7266591

I pretty much avoid going outside during the summer, or to university in person, because it's just so soul-crushingly depressing.

Yeah. Clothing shops and their mannequins are also a thing that makes me sad.
I also hate fat girls for that reason. They have the chance and they just trash their femininity. That makes me bitter. I know It's a bad thing to do, but I feel the hate rising from my guts.

Honestly, I am probably just a dude who fell for the meme, even if I had some back stories of young age "i wanna be a gal"ness. But that doesn't lower the bad feels...
I don't like being me guys. How do I fix it? Rat poison?

>>7267863
yeah it doesn't help that i'm 5'5 but still tower over women my height. the disparity is just night and day its just a joke. i might as well kms

>>7268341
Oestrogen would probably be a better idea.

>>7266591
no because I long gave up

>>7268341
I don't hate fat girl as much as I hate ugly girls.

>>7268683
Transitioning won't work for me.
I have an ugly somewhat "manly" asymmetrical jaw.
I'm 1.80 meters
My shoulders are a bit larger than my nonexisting hips.

>>7268706
Well, I can feel empathy for ugly girls: they didn't choose to have, for example, an ugly face or nose. They are unlucky, like I am.
Fat girls could just try and fix them self. But they don't do it.
It's like being starving, and seeing someone tossing food in the mud.
I cannot stand it

>>7268744
I'm talking about ugly girls with shit hair, mustache and trash fashion sense

>>7268766
Eh, i feel less angry against them.
I don't honestly know why.
Still, I'm shooting broad on alot of people.
I probably am the evil one there.

>>7268744
It's hypocritical to be bitter at girls for trashing their femininity when you're continuing to let yourself develop as a man and not improving.

It doesn't sound like you're a lost cause from what little you've said, and even then you might as well try in case your perceptions are wrong. It's not like you're likely to be happy without transitioning, regardless of how much better a successful transition might be than the one you're going to get.

>>7268403
Where the fuck do you live? I am 5'7" and most girls are 5'5"-5'6" over here.

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>>7268819
>It's hypocritical to be bitter at girls for trashing their femininity when you're continuing to let yourself develop as a man and not improving.

I know, I know. But the anger rises from my guts, I know it's wrong but I cannot stop it.

>It doesn't sound like you're a lost cause from what little you've said
> and even then you might as well try in case your perceptions are wrong.
Well, that's the fact, It's not something you can "Try" and if it doesn't work, welp, fine.
I'm scared of judgment and to let people down.
If I do something like it, I need to be sure. I couln'd stand the consequences.
I'm only 20, I don't feel ready to take such a decision, yet, Not doing it makes me feel terrible.
Mines Is just a confused life.

Pic related: my not symmetrical jaw.

>>7268744
kek, i bet you're one of those idiots who thinks womens' shoulders are usually narrower than their hips

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>>7266591

It kills me inside.

Wading through public in my disgusting body, the sight of each beautiful, petite girls with all the right proportions, their long luscious hair and their angelic voices is like a stab to the heart.

I'd get so depressed that I just want to run away and hide under a blanket at home and down sleeping pills. I'd get so jealous that I'd feel an unhealthy, unjustifiable, overwhelming hatred for her. Why does she get that beauty and the courage to wear that gorgeous smile, while I get a repulsive body and dysfunctional mind?

I'd feel so hopeless walking past clothing stores, to see girls having the options to dress in cute stuff, so I have to force myself not to look. Anger would rise when I had the gall to think that maybe my body could pass off as feminine on HRT. I have two options: be a man, or be a man in a dress.

Sometimes, my relationships with female friends and even my sister become severely compromised. My envy would drive me to say hurtful things, to sabotage our bonds, to distance them from me. I feel that way towards some of my male friends as well, when they have certain feminine qualities like long eyelashes.

I can't help alienating friends and family, losing passion in my hobbies and in life, and becoming the sort of weak, useless person I despise. I'm an invalid, unnecessary being on the face of this planet.

I'm so ugly and miserable that I wish all this could end. I feel like if God is real, and God is more vicious than anything else. What kind of sick fuck makes little living humans, just to plague them with physical and emotional turmoil? How vile is a God that permitted gender dysphoria, depression, and a load of crippling psychological diseases?

I suppose there is no God, nor are there perfectly happy human beings devoid of suffering. In the indifferent universe, I'm just one amongst the many unlucky ones who are doomed to suffer this mental torture.

Stay strong yall... All the best.

>>7270153
As a gay man who wants to be just that, a gay man, I thought I had suffered a lot while closeted. But it doesn't come close to what you just described. I hope you find the light at the end of that tunnel.

>>7270153
This sounds alot like me

>>7270153
What do you intend to do to change your situation?

>>7271803
Probably make up another encyclopedia-length shitstory.

>>7270297
Thank you anon. I hope you find happiness too :)

>>7271797
How are you dealing with it?

>>7271803
Right now, all I can do is lots of cardio (hopefully become smaller) and butt workouts to try and ease things a little, along with continuing antidepressants, talking to internet strangers and distracting myself.

I come from an ultra conservative family and society, so coming out is definitely not an option. I'm also in the midst of forced conscription in the military, so I can't even grow my hair out, or try DIY hormones. I'll never pass anyway.

In the future, the best thing I can do for myself is to go for an androgynous look, treading carefully not to be outed as 'mentally ill.' When I have the money, I would definitely pay for therapy. I am also thinking about becoming a full-time backpacker, to leave and see the world and appreciate the nice things that life can have to offer. Who knows, I may end up joining a Buddhist monastery and find some sort of enlightenment?

>>7268988
You can "try" it. Go on HRT and don't tell anyone; it won't become noticeable for a while. Inaction is also a decision; you develop as male without HRT and as female with it.

>>7274337
How did you get so opsesive with how you look? Why can't you love yourself and accept your faults? Why does it matter even?
Get over yourself. All your pain in self-inflicted and you blame God. You can release that pain.

>>7274557
you trolling m8? or just retarded

>>7274337
>How are you dealing with it?
I intend to go for surgeries and if that fails, anhero. I rehearse my suicide when i can.

>>7269238
Yeah, and Their voice is actually just falsetto.
Also, I'm blind.
I was complaining about my Lack of hips/General manly build.

>>7274792
:( i'm sure you'll be beautiful

>>7276028
I hope so, thanks.