Honest question for trans people

I didn't decide.

>>7179523
A creeping, horrifying realization with signs since 6 yrs old

>>7179523
never felt a boob in my life. desperate and transitioned, now i constantly cup my boobs in my hands

>>7179693
i love you

>>7179523
Being trans isn't a decision.

>>7179523
I crossdressed from the time I was in kindergarten or younger. Even at that age, I'd go to school dressed as a boy and feel ridiculous for it. And every time my parents would take me shopping for clothes, I thought, "why are we even buying boy clothes, I'm never going to want to wear these."

Obviously clothes =/= gender, but that is a pretty early indication of discomfort with being male. As I aged, I went through phases of trying to be more comfortable with it and others of just hiding it, but there was a constant feeling of knowing that if I continue to age and live as a man, true personal satisfaction would always elude me. Some little sadness very deep down that always came to surface as soon as a I remembered that I was a boy or man.

Now that I'm transitioning there are certainly problems that come along with that, and I know it will be harder to find romantic partners and fulfilling relationships. But that fear -- or knowledge -- that I could have everything and still feel empty? That is gone.

>>7179523
I didn't decide to. I was forced. In fact someone on /b/ said what I had is probably dysphoria, and after that though it was subtle, I always was a tad off and it kinda clicked. It's still new to me. And male hormones seem to have fucked me up lately. Too distracted and intimidated by the people I like. Ffs I like girls I have no need to see myself as anything but male but when I got down to it I have never seen myself as male in the future.

For me, it was life-long feelings followed by a recent, really visceral realisation putting it all together when I recognised those same feelings in a video I randomly stumbled upon of a trans person talking about their own experience, the first time I ever heard someone speak of it for themselves.
I still haven't decided what to do, so I don't outwardly identify as anything yet outside of 4chan (giving the benefit of the doubt that that's what you mean by 'decide', since as others have said, the condition itself isn't a decision).

It's fucking weird though, there were so many moments before that 'official realisation' where I blatantly thought to myself (ftm) "I should have been born a boy, I wish I was a boy, oh shit for a minute I totally forgot I wasn't a boy, gosh it feels great when people mistake me for a boy, moving about the world feels so much more peaceful if I imagine I'm a boy." But I just didn't know there was a word for that, let alone that it could also explain other seemingly unrelated fuckery that's affected me throughout my life. I didn't even realise it was connected to my disgust for my female features - I just thought that was what being female was, with all the 'muh body image' shit bandied about (except I never desired a 'better' female body like regular female insecurity, I just had an intense disgust and shame for my own, and somehow didn't connect that to my constant wistful daydreaming about what it probably feels like to have a penis).

It's crazy how oblivious people can be with shit like this. You see threads every day of shit like "I'm a dude, I love dick and I hate vag, but that doesn't mean I'm gay, does it?" and you just think "what a fucking idiot." But turns out it really is tough to put together sometimes when that's all you've ever felt.

well there was this cute girl i wanted to spy on in the restroom so i decided to start identifying as a women

>>7179523
I've always identified as this gender. It would be more reasonable to ask me why I decided to physically transition, and that is simply because I felt I had the resources and the right environment to finally start the process. What is the point of transitioning to save your life if you don't end up having a life worth living in after?

Things are great now, senpai. Thanks for asking.

>>7179523
I decided to identify as a boy by constant and subtle manipulation by my parents. They did not like that I was a girl and told me that I was not supposed to be that way. I did not have the confidence to resist because of a mountain of other unrelated parental abuse that basically made me emotionally numb and destroyed my self-esteem. After years of therapy I realized that I had been living a lie my whole life and went back to identifying as a girl.

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Mental Illness: The Thread

>>7179523
It's not a decision. I don't identify as the opposite gender. I'm a man who unfortunately developed a female body instead of a male one in the womb.

>>7181272
why are you even here?

>>7179523
>Why did you decide to identify as the opposite gender?

Because I felt like it.

>>7181097
maybe you only like girls because you always thought you were supposed to

>>7179523
I didn't choose to be trans.
I chose to transition and take my life into my hands.

>>7179523
One morning in April I woke up and decided that this was it: I would be a transgender. Rather than living a comfortable life as my gender of birth (AAB or whatever it's called), I'd rather shoot myself in the foot, th head and the genitals because I like to suffer. I enjoy my dysphoria, I enjoy waking up in the morning in my AAB body and wanting to kms- it's FUN.

I also enjoy awkward situations, everywhere. In restrooms, bedrooms, at parties, in the street, in front of the law- so much fun to be had, you cis people have no idea what you're missing. But the best part is really when you're being made fun of, ridiculed, misgendered, disrespected; when your human rights are thrown out the window because hey you're not a real person amirite ? And after all, you chose this.

/irony

>>7181434
He's here to shitpost.

>>7180692
That's not the question. They're asking when you consciously started identifying as your non-assigned gender. For many (I want to say most) trans people that wasn't something that was always the case.

>>7179523

i identify as a cockatiel, everyone back off OK?

>>7183257
gender dysphoria is a legitimate condition and someone's body and brain not matching is within the realm of possibility. a human ending up with a bird brain is not.

>>7183280

don't call me a bird brain, bigot

>>7182863
the feels

It came and went, Tbqh. The first time I ever truly thought that this is something I wanted to do, I was at school, bored, with no lessons after lunch. So some of my girl friends put makeup on me for kicks and I borrowed their coat, and it was the best feeling in the world. I told my mum after like a week of debating with myself, and she said it was just a phase that everyone goes through, and it was just that I like crossdressing and not wanna be a full on woman. I continued experimenting with crossdressing but it never felt quite right being a guy in girls clothes, and eventually I got depressed and gave up. That depression got worse and worse until I was 20, and I was genuinely contemplating suicide. I tried to think back to when I was happy and try to figure out why, and I realised I was most happiest in the very rare times I was in girl mode. It felt like I was being me. I've always known that I'm quite the effeminate guy, but for some reason it hit me just then and there that I could actually get a sex change and become a woman. Worst case scenario? I've delayed the inevitable. Best case? I stop myself from killing myself.

I've been identifying as a woman since then, but honestly it took a long time for it to become instinctive.