Asexual General - /acegen/

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>Asexuality
>Real

>>7067885
Wow, that was fast

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Posting a clean Bingo, so everyone can keep up

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>>7067876
Sorry, mate. I was going to post a new thread but I had life stuff to deal with.

A topic that's probably the best for this one would be something about the idea of sexual content with asexuals.

Some people don't really feel comfortable with dressing or acting or certain way and others do.

I was going to name it "sexy watermelon edition"

I'm sorry OP, I'm so lazy

>>7068023

My logic for clothing is "Does it serve the intended purpose"?

Shirts should allow the body to vent heat. Jumpers should allow the body to retain heat. Pants should cover the legs and have decent pockets that can hold shit and not fall out. Socks should allow me to wear shoes that would create blisters if there were no socks.

I'm not one for sexy clothing. I don't wear it and I try not to look at it, as it seems that there are mixed messages being sent if someone is wearing it, yet yells at people for looking at hat it reveals.

tl:dr version: Function over Fashion.

>>7068096
>every ace people was a white women

is this bait?

>>7068093
I personally like fashionable clothing if it's comfortable and functioning. But I don't really wear that much revealing clothing due to the fact that when I show skin, people get interested and I'm not really looking for that.

>>7068115
What percentage of the ace population do you think are white women? 95%? 85%? 80%?

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>>7068096

3 more to go...

>>7068155
You forgot the "oppression" square

>>7068154
It's probably changed by now since the community is still growing but iirc, it was more than half women a few years ago. And of course it's going to be more white people because asexuality is a western term and most people in the west are white.

Also, non whites tend to not like the idea of being someone that isn't straight, religious, and making kids like the good member of society they are.

>>7068154
Probably 85% white women, 10% women of color and 5% assorted numale.

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>>7068176

Fixed

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>>7068215

Are there any ace youtubers? I can only find one and they don't really do anything I like.

>>7068281
Aces on YouTube are cringey af, they're all from Aven

>>7068309
The one I found wasn't that cringey even though he was a furry because he wasn't one of those yiffing, tail wearing, barking in public furfags

>>7068281

I've been trying to track down videos from "Tales of a Homoromantic Ace", but it seems that it got caught up in blip.tv's "We only have gaming videos now" purge and there seems to be no torrents of the videos.

Wow, you aren't constantly interested in fucking.

You're so unique.

>>7068490
we really need to update the bingo card

>>7068154
Whites are what, 20% of the global population? I don't see why any race would be expected to be more likely to asexual than others, so I'd expect whites to make up 20% of asexuals as well. Of course I mean "asexual" in the sense of actually being asexual, not labeling yourselves as such - people from African villages likely aren't familiar with the concept, even if they are asexual. Likewise, in areas where asexuality is known about, there are probably some "false positives" - people thinking they're asexual but actually aren't.

>>7067885

Asexuality is real, just like mental retardation is real. They deserve pity... but they don't deserve to be a part of LGBT.

>>7068721
Why don't they belong in LGBT? Anyone who isn't both cisgender AND heterosexual is part of LGBT.

How about this for the updated bingo sheet?
>"Am I asexual?" questions
>"trigger"
>Aces don't belong in LGBT
>you're all straight
>you're all mentally ill
>masturbation question
>check ur hormones
>you just can't get someone to fuck you/you're all ugly
>oppression discussion
>OMG WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLAINING
>tumblr
>"true asexual"
>some anon arrives carrying baggage about ace people
>check ur hormones
>"hyposexual"
>Asexuality isn't real
>You're just trying to be special

Should I just combine a bunch of the medical and psychological stuff into an "person thinks they're a doctor because use wikipedia" square?

>>7068799
Not that anon, but I personally believe that if you aren't:
>cis
>heterosexual
>heteromantic

you fall underneath being not straight because a lot of straight people don't think that aces and aros belong with them because they think they aren't them.

>>7068800
How does any of that describe asexuals? They're basically straight edge: the sexual orientation.

>>7068841
>>7068875
What did they mean by this?

>>7068802

Yeah, combine all the medical ones.

Jjust a heads up, you've got "check ur hormones" twice, You could replace it with "Anon posts something that would get them banned in any other general"

>>7069361
Thanks for the headsup. I think that one doesn't happen a lot, though.

I know this will get a few spots on yhr bingo card, but how can I tell the difference between just having a "low libido" and actually being ace?

I get rhe occasional, rather rare crush (usually towards other men, rarely women), but I don't even fantasize about them sexually. I just imagine being together and having him (or her). I rarely, if never, see a passing stranger and think "I want to fuck them" (which I am told is common?), nor do I ever really have the desire to go out and have sex. I am a virgin, so I don't know if suddenly gettibg laid will magically make me crave cocks?

Sorry for ranting and making you all answer a question you've seen a million times, I am sure.

>>7067972
Priceless!!

>>7068023
Just like >>7068093, I tend to see the practical side of clothes. I've bought sports clothes because they're a lot more comfortable and do their job unlike some women's clothes (see-throughs, jeans with no pockets like wtf, and other ridiculous shit like that). Even sports bras are a shit ton better than the regular ones, imho.

I've tried putting some sexy clothes and accessories on. I find them to be incredibly uncomfortable, it even hurts at times. Why would you go through pain like that ? Just wear some cool shit, man !
Well, sometimes it looks okay, I guess, but often times it looks like some alien shit.

I'd rather put some cute clothes on :3 rawr >w< kawaii desu

Sometimes I wonder what went wrong with me neonatally to make me aromantic, genderqueer, and asexual. There must have been a hormone issue.

>>7067885
This. Literally Redit sexuality.

>>7070247
asexuality = lacking sexual attraction

libido = desire to have sex

An asexual can have a libido and masturbate or even have sex because there's still a desire. However, there is no sexual attraction.

Think of it as this:
Libido: I just want to dance
Sexual attraction: I want to dance with this person

or....
Libido: I'm hungry
Sexual attraction: I'm craving this certain food

>>7070293
>clothing
>hurting
the fuck are you wearing? The only thing that could possibly hurt is shoes and that's usually due to just shitty cushioning.

THOSE THAT REPRODUCE BY BUDDING

>>7070324
It's probably a environmental and genetic thing like everything else. Some are predisposed to getting cancer and some just live in a shitty environment that causes cancer.

>>7070550
You're as late as a christmas cake in July. That joke is fucking old and you should feel bad.

>>7070560

I don't see how gender and sexuality can be environmental. They seem like something you're born with.

>>7070545
I like your explanation, thank you. It helped a lot.

Unfortunately I don't think it quite has allowed me to feel what label to attach to myself, as I think I might have a willingness to have sex with someone I really cared for, but I have zero sexual attraction otherwise.

Even the couple of weird internet LDRs I have gotten into, I had a hard time seeing the other person sexually. I don't think it really matters in the long run, nor does it truly matter, but I guess your mind just wonders sometimes.

>>7070547
Yes, shoes ! Bras with the metal thingy under them can hurt, and strings are annoying too. But the rest is just uncomfortable overall.

>>7070634
You know how if you place a child in a shitty environment, they have a higher chance for mental illness later on in life? Or if the mother carrying the child is accidentally transferring harmful chemicals, it can cause birth defects? Or if the child isn't given the right nutrition, it can develop physical impairments?

It isn't always negative, though. For example, if someone were to be genetically predisposed to have an anxiety disorder but weren't placed in an environment that could cause it to develop, there's a lower chance of it happening.

Or if someone were to have the genetics to just be overweight, the environment around them could change that.

Even if you had the genetics to be the smartest, tallest person in the world, it's the environment that impacts you after you're born and you could still end up being average.

If you've met identical twins, you may have seen there's still a difference in their traits even though they have the same genes. This is due to environmental reasons.

>>7070938
Strings? I've never heard of a bra with strings before. Do you mean the straps?

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>>7067885
>>7070524
not ace here, and I just wanted to chime in and say anyone who says this is retarded

What's it like being lonely and broken guys?

>>7068179
>>7071253
> 95% women
> lonely guys
Which one is it?

>>7071274
Whoa, whoa, on /lgbt/ I try not to make those distinctions. You can be a lonely and broken heap of neglected genitals for all I care, but I think even that's putting a positive spin on it.

>>7071274

"Guys" is gender neutral, isn't it?

>>7071226
Sorry, I meant thongs ! We call that "strings" in French, my bad...

>>7070247
I feel very similar to you. I've never had a proper crush on someone (a couple squishes), nor do I get an urge to bone someone I pass on the street. I have had sex with another man I met on the internet and ... it was entirely unspectacular. Once I left the bed I felt no different to who I was before. I can't speak for you, but after him and I "got intimate", I did start wanting to continue those things with him. Just my 2c.

Nothing like the irony of LGBTs telling someone their sexuality isn't real or that there's something wrong with them. Maybe eventually we'll see some conversion camps run by LGBT counselors

alright so i saw this at the home because i don't want to go on this board, but what exactly makes you asexual? i would say i am but i don't want to be associated with tumblr faggotry. and i don't have a distaste towards sex it's just something that i don't think i would like.

>>7073232
To be ace generally either means that you don't get aroused and / or don't think of people sexually. Lack of interest can qualify too, but not always, as sometimes it's more to do with general depression

Do you guys use words like "hot" or "sexy"? I will unashamedly call guys "hot" but I see it as "he is very handsome/cute/pretty and I would probably date him if I wasn't aro". I never associated it with "I wanna have sex with him". Do non-aces really think that? It seems so weird.

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>>7071344

>>7071363
Oh, sorry! I didn't think of other languages. Some people also call them "g strings" in the US.

>>7073232
Read the OP. That's why it's there.

>>7073304
I still use the words hot or sexy because it's just aesthetics. You could look at a painting or a flower and be able to see its beauty without wanting to stick a thorny stem up your ass.

>>7073304
I sometimes think of guys like this (I'm amab). I almost never think of women like this, but in either case, the thought process goes something along the lines of "Dang, he/she is hot" but there's never any interest in sexing them up or anything more than like, just being physically close to them in private. Even in the long term relationship that I just got out of with a cishet woman, sex was never the most intimate part of our relationship to me.

Now I'm starting to think I might be homoromantic because I notice myself thinking more often that men are more attractive than women, and hypothetically I can see myself more with a man than I can with a woman but I know even if sex was involved in the relationship that I wouldn't get anything out of it.

>>7073304
I don't, to be honest. I used to, to pretend, but I never got why people or characters or whatever were "hot" to folks. After a while, I got the general idea that it had something to do with the biceps, or the butt, as well as overall nakedness, shit like that, so I could easily pretend the obvious based on those details.
I've asked around if people actually mean sexual stuff saying that and I've gotten a positive response most of the time. Saying "hot" among some groups of friends usually implies that someone follows up with a sexual joke and then compliments on the target's body.
I stay true to my feelings so I just tend to stick to "cute" and "handsome/beautiful/pretty".

>>7073592
lmao I've never called a flower "sexy", what the heck xD

>>7073679
I didn't mean calling a flower "sexy". I meant simply being able to see its beauty. So a flower could still be called "pretty" maybe even "sexy" if someone has a weird flower fetish.

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I don't know, y'all.

I identify as ace. I haven't for that long, but I've been questioning my sexuality for a while and when I learned about asexuality it just *clicked* for me, like "oh shit that's me exactly."

But...I also got out of a really bad relationship not that long ago. I didn't have much sex drive during it, even when it was good, and even though I wanted to be sexual to satisfy my partner and my libido, it was always clear to me that something wasn't in it for me that was very much in it for my partner. In hindsight though, it's really clear to me that the nature of my relationship with that person was toxic and abusive to me. I can't help but doubt myself and my identity because of it.

>am I ace because that's just who I am?
>am I sex repulsed because I was in an abusive relationship?
Both of these questions keep circling in my head and I'm just not sure what to make of them in context to my experience.

Any thoughts/opinions?

>>7073769
Just compare yourself before and after if you're that worried. Or go to a therapist because they actually went to school for this shit.

>>7073769
Asexuality is not actually a real sexual orientation. You've fallen for a meme. You can be seduced, stimulated etc. the same as anyone else with intact genitals, you are simply emotionally dysfunctional. Your issues with intimacy most likely do relate to your abusive relationship. It's not too late for you. Don't give up on intimacy.

>>7073818
This must be the radio because I've heard this song at least 4 times today.

>>7073818
intimacy isn't being sexual for me, though. I think it's that way for most people, though. intimacy is quiet moments together, and it's private togetherness that no one else shares with you. It's holding each other because you want to. it's touching their face because sometimes you can't believe that someone so perfect can be real. Sex is literally just gettin a bone on. People do that all the time and I don't think there's anything special about that other than "hey lets orgasm together for fun".

>>7073802
I actually have. Basically she was surprised that I was already coming into it with both sides of the argument on my own. Also she thinks I overthink literally everything and that I need to 1) let time play out and 2) just be chill about it. Idk, I kinda feel like she's waiting for me to talk about it again to see if it's really an issue or if I'm just clouded.

>>7073863
Just bring it up again. No harm in that since you're paying for it.

>>7073592

Who calls a flower "hot"? That's mildly less weird than calling a baby "sexy" (why do people do that? It's a weird compliment but I see ladies do it)

>>7074024
I didn't mean that. Like I said in >>7073693, I meant simply being able to see its beauty.

>>7074035

I guessed that but it's still fun to poke fun at. People can be weird with their language anyway.

>>7070709
the way i've had sexual attraction described to me is that it's not a willingness to have sex, but a want to have sex.

i enjoy the physical stimulation of sex and the idea of having a sweaty ordeal with someone else, but i have pretty much no preference who i would rather do that with, there's no dick compass in me that guides my dick to a certain person, rather circumstances lead me to sometimes have sex with people.

>>7073304
>Do non-aces really think that? It seems so weird.

i think they mean both! which is fucking mind-boggling, i thought i had cracked the code on what sexy meant (this and that many percent body, this and that many percent confidence, this and that many percent occupation etc) but it turns out people just want to bone things for no logical reason. which is fine because i could never explain those hard rock dudes with long hair, tattoos and boring bodies.

>>7073769

the thing is that the environment makes us who we are, and you are asking things about the environment that possibly could have made you who you are.
the answer to both your questions could be yes, without a doubt.
in general define yourself in whatever way you find constructive, it's not a legal binding contract that means you have to do something otherwise bad things will happen.

>>7070709
According to the tumblerites, you'd probably be demisexual greyromantic (or asexual greyromantic, if you don't end up finding yourself sexually attracted to someone you become close to). They've got plenty of labels to go around, most of which are shitty special snowflake terms, but a few of which are actually useful to a handful of people.

I would recommend just sticking with the ones that won't make you look like a retard (amongst the asexual community) for using, and explaining in depth to people you care about, and who care about hearing it.

>>7073304
"Sexy" is quite obviously used to mean sexually attractive.
Pretty sure "hot" comes from "he/she gets me hot and bothered," so I would say that both are used by non-aces purely to communicate that they want to bang them, or could see why someone would want to bang them.
Of course, they may call someone hot if they think they're cute/handsome/whatever, but honestly I don't think most romantic humpers can tell the difference between the two.

>>7072503
I appreciate sharing your experience, thank you.

>>7075440
I think that makes sense. Should I ever end up having sex with another human being, it would probably be through a process you described.

>>7075476
Wow and I thought I was pretty up-to-date on my tumblr speak. That just led me down a rabbit hole trying to interpret that lol.

Perhaps it's best I just abstain from using a label. I dont think gay or even bi is an accruate descriptor, yet it seems I land somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and perhaps even the aromantic one as well. Yet it seems sort of silly to use such an esoteric label to describe my feelings to a pinpoint.

>>7075835
just remember that "i think i might be asexual" is just as valid a label as anything else. sex is fucking complicated and if someone demands you have it figured out you are free to fucking kill them!!!!!

>be me
>constantly bouncing between "hey, sex might be okay" and "dear god no"
>seem to have an idea/fantasy of sex in my head that's not true in reality
>can't break away from the thought so I can stop stressing myself out

acegen what do

>>7073304
I've written the word 'love' maybe 15 times in my life, three times about another person.
I've written the word 'sexy' once before.
The word 'hot' has plenty of other uses, but I've never descibed a person with the word.
The story is similar to any most any word related to sexuality or romance.

And in speech, in my native language, the counts are even lower.

Some useless words those are.

>>7073818
I see you still haven't learned any new fun words to use.
>emotionally dysfunctional

>>7073304
>Do you guys use words like "hot" or "sexy"?
I don't use them at all.

>I never associated it with "I wanna have sex with him". Do non-aces really think that? It seems so weird.
"Hot" and "sexy" are clearly focused on sexual attraction, specially the latter. At least for men, whose sexual attraction is mostly based on looks. (Apparently women also value social status, confidence and other stuff like that.)

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I recently stumbled upon a short web-manga that's being translated that I can relate to on SO many levels called "The Private Report on my Lesbian Experience with Loneliness." Sounds pretty edgy, and I guess it is, but chapter 4 is almost exactly my experience investigating my sexuality. I just thought I'd share.

Chapter 4: (MC hires a prostitute to explore her issues) http://bato.to/reader#da4976cb23294fdb_1

From beginning: http://tetsu-scans.blogspot.com/ (chapters 1+2 are no longer available on batoto).

>>7078700
>that disappointment during the kiss
>that "how am I supposed to react this" feel

Fuck, I didn't need those memories to flood back.

Also, how old is this? Why don't they know anything about the female anatomy like where the vagina is or how hymens work?

>>7079245
This is from 2015 or so (at least, that is the upload date on the artists' pixiv). The Japanese, for the most part, know nothing about female anatomy.

Thanks so much for reading this, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. That entire encounter just hit so close to home for me (except the other person wasn't quite so accommodating...), and I wanted to share with anyone else that might've had similar experiences.

>>7079500
>The Japanese, for the most part, know nothing about female anatomy.

They don't have internet there? You can't use ignorance as an excuse when information is so easily obtained now.

>>7079513
The internet isn't nearly as big a thing as it is here; most people barely use personal computers. It's also not like the American populace is particularly well-informed either.

It is weird that a lesbian prostitute would think that though... I guess she'd never met a virgin without some semblance of a hymen before.

>>7079535
>It's also not like the American populace is particularly well-informed either.
They're also underneath the "ignorance is not an excuse anymore" category.

Also lack of personal computers =/= unable to go on internet and learn. Still their fault.

>>7068799
For the same reason atheism is not recognized as a religion. English tells us that 'A', or 'An' as a prefix means not. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction period, if you lack sexual attraction you also would be incapable of having an intimate relationship as you couldn't experience the initial attraction necessary to develop romantic feelings for the other party. Taking a psychological term and applying it to yourself as a sexuality is stupid, especially when most people who claim to be asexual are just socially retarded and do not fit the criteria.

>>7080372
I am sorry to tell you this but sexual attraction is a major component of what makes human beings pick romantic partners. Love at first site is no different.

>>7080406
what if me and my companion have a deep emotional bond running back to childhood? And we're both ace? Do we not love each other? You have no right so say that we do not. If anything, I would argue that you don't know what love is, being unable to differentiate it from lust and sexual infatuation.

>>7080406
Where is your fucking degree.

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>asexuality

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>>7080765
>lewdness

>>7073304
I use terms like that in a calculated way. Although I don't put any emotion behind the words, I'll call someone sexy or beautiful in the right context if I need to curry their favor for whatever reason. In a similar way, calling someone attractive when you know that they're not conventionally attractive is a great way to make yourself look kind and progressive. Or, if you want to get on someone's nerves or make them feel inadequate, you can compliment the looks of some third party in front of them.

tl;dr - I accept that normies conflate physical beauty with every other kind of value, and so I use this to convey value judgments in a language they can understand.

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>>7081509
>I use terms like that in a calculated way
>if I need to curry their favor for whatever reason
>if you want to get on someone's nerves or make them feel inadequate
>normies
>I use this to convey value judgments in a language they can understand

Time to cross the sociopathic anon square off your card everyone.

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>>7081569
Ayyy not sure where the other "science saiz you shouldn't even experience love" guy fits though

>>7080406
You think sexuality is the source of romance?
All your relationships will fall apart fast and you'll never be happily married.

>>7081651
I haven't been in this general long enough to know what the 'twue asexual~' square looks like, shit.

>>7082340
It's when people come on here and start using the phrase "true asexuals" to describe someone with a lack of both sexual attraction and libidol

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>>7082397
I've always thought that the *~twue aces~* are the ones with a libido. You feel horny and feel there's no one that attracts you, and you're sure you're asexual. If you have no libido, How Can You Be Sure?

Why does this general exist? Its literally only been used for shit posting and "look at me im asexual!".
Imagine if the trolls left.
"Hey im ace"
"Me too"
"I didnt do anything today"
"Me either"
/thread

>>7084489
It is a shithole but at least it is our shithole

>>7083195
When you've heard enough "you aren't actually asexual because you masturbate" and "you can only be truly asexual if you do not masturbate and do not have sexual attraction" from the allos, you'll understand.

>>7084489
Aaah, yes. Thank you for partly explaining the obvious, that is, what joining a community, aka like-minded people, is like.

>>7073304

I go with "Aesthetically Pleasing".

Both people and buildings can be aesthetically pleasing, yet I don't feel the need to describe them in terms of sexual desirability.

>>7073818
All modern sexuality except for bisexuality is a meme designed to ensure the survival of the tribal memes.

>>7081651
That could be "Anon attempts to disprove Aces via Science"

We really need to have MULTIPLE /acegen/ Bingo cards, each one slightly different. Perhaps some have squares in different spaces, perhaps some have squares replaced with different fillings.

>>7084489
THIS is something that could be used for Ace Bingo

"I didn't fuck anyone today"
"Me neither"

As for >>7084489, you seem to be confusing Asexuality for Apathy.

This isn't /mehgen/

>>7068799
Lgbt is basically at it's core about different persecuted people banding together. Ace isn't oppressed ever.

>>7085654

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/without-prejudice/201209/prejudice-against-group-x-asexuals

also where i'm from the lgbt community is about people sharing experiences of being outside the cis-heterosexual norm

>>7085142
>the allos
I miss when tumblr didn't hang out on 4chan

>>7085661
It's not hurting you to keep your mouth shut about it. Lgbt people are denied thier existance when they are silent about thier thing. When ace people talk about thier thing it's for attention only. There's no reason to talk about it. There's no prejudice unless you choose for it to exist.

>>7085669

it'd be great if i could just ignore being asexual, as i had for like 22 years, but it turns out people expect you to feel sexual attraction to them if you have sex with them or date them, and they get upset if you don't. so there's hurt to be had even if i keep my mouth shut about it.
> When ace people talk about thier thing it's for attention only.
if this is your belief then why keep giving us attention? why not just ignore the general?
or maybe we just need a place to share stories about different ways we try to understand the words "hot" and "sexy"?

>>7086127
>>7085654
I believe you are thinking of MOGAI
LGBT is anyone who is not straight and cisgendered. (Asexuals match that description)
If you wanna debate on whether or not asexuals belong in MOGAI, that's another thing

>>7085669
For... Attention?
You just invited yourself to our small corner. I fail to follow your logic.

Also,
>There's no prejudice unless you choose for it to exist.

Thanks! Would you repeat for the others out there, please?

>>7068490
low quality b8 but still, aces tend not to ever be interested in fucking, as opposed to everyone else who is at least sometimes

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http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/723323/Sexual-partner-fertility-disability-World-Health-Organisation-IVF

Discuss.

Just dropping in to say that this is the worst general I've ever seen.

>>7088108
Thanks bb

>>7085663
What do you want us to say that short and sweet, then? Gay people have "straight". Trans people have "cis". Asexuals have "allo"
>inb4 just say normal people hurr durr
I've heard that one before and you wouldn't be witty.

>>7087962
1) the idea of someone being infertile isn't really a disability in my eyes but it does go along with the idea of the definition of actual disability

2) Being single isn't really a condition but I understand what they were trying to do with the leveling of the playing field.

>>7085748
Because they're afraid that we're going to burn their crops and poison their water supply.

>watching both versions of Rocky Horror
>all this kissing and sex

Ew. It's an interesting musical though, even if I can't follow the plot.

Do any of you guys know what it means when people say "get a room"? Is it "get a room to have sex" or "get a room so we don't have to see your kissy kissy romance crap"?

>>7089005
Yeah, the plot is fucking dumb. The only part that's fun is when you're screaming at it with an audience around you.

>Is it "get a room to have sex" or "get a room so we don't have to see your kissy kissy romance crap"?
yes

I thought the trolls got bored of this gen years ago. At least it is not like when it began. Mods used to delete it for being 'off topic' until one day they decided asexuals were lgbt. /gqgen/ could probably get the same treatment however I have no interest in dealing with bans and deletions, and no one else makes them, so I just hang around /ftmgen/.

>>7085654

No, it's people who aren't straight or cis.

>>7078700

I know a few ace characters like Luffy from One Piece or those two guys from Ignition Zero.

>>7089039
I think also Goku is asexual or just aromatic because the writer actually said he thinks of his friends and family as only comrades.

>>7087962
Where do I singn up to collect bux?

>>7089142
>you will never be able to donate your eggs/sperm for dat gud money because everyone will be doing IVF now
s u f f e r i n g

>>7073304
That is why I avoid the word sexy unless its blatantly pornographic in which case your safe.

I find saying someone is hot safe so long as they are attractive.

That is how i use them and not get any strange looks. For non ace people attractiveness tends to walk hand in hand with 'would fuck'. I find its safe to use 'hot' to deem someone or something about someone that is attractive while at the same time make people present believe that I can in fact feel sexual attraction.

I could do it the other way and help make myself appear gay too should the need ever arise.

Otherwise yes they do really think like that. The only time it doesn't is the rare moment when they are admiring someone else non sexually(it really is rare btw) or is a piece of art.

Basically I use the words only to reassure other people after I do the necessary calculating. As I learned the hard way being known as ace isn't good. It took me awhile to figure out just how often I needed to do so in order to prevent any questioning of my sexuality. I find that doing so on a semi regular basis is enough. Can't do it too rarely as people start to wonder can't do it too much as then it starts to piss them off.

Gotta find that sweet sweet balance baby...man I envy those aces who can getaway with being open about it. Shit gets old.

>>7073818
Aces are hilariously immune to getting hit on. Its like someone hitting on a gay person but funnier because of the lack of comprehension on both sides. I only very rarely see it but its really quite funny.

>>7075448
There is a logic behind its just just heavily obscured by personal preferences. People have preferences just ask and they always tell.

Always.

What is however the same throughout is the golden ratio and symmetry. Everything else is literally up to personal preference.

Some preferences are just more obscure or commonly accepted is all.

I spent far too much time studying this shit in a scientific manner and read too many science journals.

>>7089685
>I spent far too much time studying this shit in a scientific manner
oh man i can relate to this. i remember when my friends decided to be sex positive and to talk about sex and i was like hell yeah i've been prepping for this for years, and it turns out they just wanted to be more vocal about who they wanted to fuck.

>Aces are hilariously immune to getting hit on.
and then you realize what they were doing and you're like "well you just wasted a lot of time here bub, thanks for the compliment though"

>>7091023
I can relate too!! When people start to talk about sex and stuff, it's like I'm out of a documentary or some shit and people freak out, they give me them looks, y'know. I've had people avoiding the subject after this lmao

And when it comes to being hit on, I can be so incredibly dense... I'm nice overall, so people get the bad idea and they think I hit on them back, but no! I'm just being nice... I thought you were being nice too... No? Oh. My bad...

>>7091607
>>7091023
I feel like I'm the only person who feels very uncomfortable when people hit on me. It might be because I'm disgusted by sex so then I feel really freaked out when someone wants to do that with me.

>>7091645
It's not your job to make these people feel comfortable. If they can't handle rejection and they feel bad after you inform them that they will never be allowed to touch you, that's their fault, not yours. They may seem pitiable, and it's a common tactic of theirs to play the victim, but really they're entitled little shits who deserve any and all pain they experience when they're denied something they never had a right to receive.

>>7091689
Oh no no, I didn't mean I'm uncomfortable with turning them down. It's just that the thought of someone having the desire to do sexual things with me makes immediately feel disgusted and wanting to burn that bridge as soon as I can so I can cut them out of my life.

>>7091645
Oh, I do feel uncomfortable! Once I notice... Which takes a small while lol especially if the intention isn't that obvious at first.

>>7091700
If you want to keep someone in your life after they hit on you without realizing you don't want that, maybe try to spread the disgust around more evenly. Make them disgusted at themselves for being a sexual creep who makes unwanted advances. That way you maintain a fair and equitable relationship.

Am I asexual if I enjoy porn and have fantasies but I don't actually want to get involved with the activity?

For example, I saw someone who I thought looked nice and thought "Wow, they would be nice in this sexual situation."

Am I just a voyeur?

>>7091689
I missed you so much

>>7085654
Maybe not opressed but misunderstood and disrespected.

I have two asexual friends. One is panromantic and has a crush on anybody thats nice to her, but doesn't want to fuck and has no sex drive whatsoever.
The other is odd because while she doesn't sex people, she does masturbate furiously most nights (which I unfortunately know due to our apartment's walls being so thin)

>>7091689

it's posts like this and the entire discussion that makes me come back to this place. fanks anon

>>7092779
libido =/= sexual attraction so she's not weird at all.

>>7089071
>aromatic
Breaking News: Goku Is a Nicesmellsexual

>>7067876
I'm not an asexual but I see it as a mostly pointless affair
I'd be happy with charitable loving handjobs once under a full moon
How do I find a qt ace gf?

I came out as asexual to someone for the first time today. She got really confused so I tried to explain, but this turned in to a weird conversation where we really opened up to eachother about everything and started talking a lot about porn. Now I'm confused.

I'm not ashamed to say, I watch porn and masturbate a lot. I consider it sexual but I don't feel like it conflicts with my asexuality. I'm still not attracted to anything, I just get arousal and watch porn to deal with it. After I orgasm I lose all interest. I don't know if that makes sense. Does anyone else get like this?

>>7096377
if you are sexually satisfied, you're not going to be as outgoing about seeking sex

try nofap for a few months and see how you feel

>>7096377
Yes, I'm kinda like that too. I fap when I'm bored, and I'm bored a lot. But I can also be really into a project or something and completely forget to fap for weeks.

>>7096430
I did some experimenting back when I was trying to cure myself or whatever. I did two months of nofap, and almost three months of this thing where you edge but no orgasm, my theory was I'd be so horny I'd had to develop sexual attraction toward something. It didn't work.

>>7071236
NOT
AN
ARGUMENT

How do I raise my libido ?
I don't want to die alone m8's :(

>>7097795
find another asexual to be your companion

>>7097795
Inject hormones straight into the bloodstream m8. Also, even if your libido is increased, your attraction will still remain the same so then you'll just have raging boners with no outlet.

>>7096377
Same, breh, I get those too. Just like >>7097749, it's usually when I'm bored (more noticeable so to speak), otherwise once I find a proper occupation, I can easily forget being aroused is even a thing.

I've tried those no faps for the same reasons and it didn't work for me either lol. If I leave it unattended for too long though, it can somewhat drive me crazy, like I have no idea what to do to get rid of it.
>>7097971
Raging boner with no outlet is a good way to put it lmaoo

>>7096430
Thats what she said. But I can go without masturbating for months at a time. Just I sometimes get aroused and it manifests itself as a weird burning feeling in my vagina (not an actual burn, it's not an infection or anything) and the only way to get rid of it is to maturbate. and when I masturbste, I watch porn. Even when I am very horny I don't feel a pressing urge to have sex. No urge at all really.
The hornines comes out of nothing, usually when I am doing work or trying to fall asleep.

>>7068314
Who?

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I am not asexual but I would like to date an asexual girl because I am terrified of sex, maybe something to do with things that happened during childhood.

>>7101402
Oh, potato related trauma?

>>7084489
There are questions and troubles that come up.
Some of us are crazy enough to try and date even if we're sex-repulsed and know our "crushes" to be rather active.

>>7085669
It's not corrective rape if we hate all sex, then?

Actually, I'm struggling with wether my exes tried to rape me or not, because they initiated non-consensual sexual contact especially after I told them to stop, with the pretext of fixing me, but everybody just treats this as a "failed experiment" on their part or my fault somehow. (A few situations of them trying to force themselves on me in my sleep or when drunk, mostly they couldn't force a boner and thus started crying and making me comfort them then, can't tell what happened during one or two blackouts.) I never outright tell people aces were oppressed, but fuck, if I was a straight chick or gay guy in the same situation, I just feel like it wouldn't get brushed away and laughed at, and I feel like I'd be the one people were comforting instead of my partner.

>tfw study two things, one for money, one for passion
>courses on writing and drawing comics
>teacher aggressively denies all my stories
>shoehorns romance as the main focus into every story with characters older than 12
>the latter get into the bin

I just wanted to write horror shorts about encounters with old-school monsters. I can't deal with all these new romance elements in what was supposed to be a ten-page werewolf shocker. ;_;

>>7096377
I sometimes masturbate but don't like it. I just do it anyway sometimes, to make the urge stop, but I do not feel anything either way during it. Just disgust afterwards.
It's a weird urge you sometimes just oblige to.

>>7097971
About the hormone argument- I'm ftm and have been taking daily testosterone supplements for the past ten years. All that's changed about my sexuality is that I developed romantic interests in people and can imagine myself spending my life with some. I'm still as sex repulsed as ever.
To be fair, I can only really comment on that even being true asexuality after I had bottom surgery- before that, it might just be good ol' dysphoria.

>>7068281
https://youtu.be/KFA4hsSDbhc
Closest thing I know.

>>7089071

Goku was pretty much raised by wild animals. It took Bulma rocking up on her motorbike looking for the 4 star ball for him to START learning about girls. Even then, he had to be taught that using the pat-pat test is rude.

Super shows that he has never kissed Chi-Chi and is disgusted when Trunks feeds a senzu bean to a girl using his mouth.

As to how he can be married, yet have never kissed Chi-Chi, I'd say that when Chichi came to collect on Goku's promise, the explanation of Marriage was basically "Humans, like Cranes, mate for life, except Humans call it "marriage"."

I can imagine Goku wondering why Chi-chi isn't throwing up into Gohans's mouth when he was a baby.

>>7095294

When the answer is discovered, we'll let you know.

In the meantime, price hookers.

>>7096377

I've always chalked it up to the concept of "Sage Time", in that since you are no longer seeking those brain chemicals that make you feel good, you are not looking for another fix.

>>7097795

Are you looking for a Companion or are you looking for a way to pass on your genes and your memes?

If the former, dating app, remember to say on the first date that you are Ace and that sex is pretty much off the table, if not a dealbreaker.

If the latter, you have ro make a decision betwen your genes and your memes.

If you choose Genes, donate your sperm. You won't be able to pass on your memes though, as most places won't allow you to be part of the childs life

If you choose your Memes, then become the cool uncle who keep trying to get their nephew/niece into fun stuff.

>>7101794

Write a slasher. Go into excruciating detail about how the slasher kills anyone that they see acting couple-ly. Write about how no-one is safe from the slasher, not even 6 year olds kissing each other.

Then write "I do not feel the need to shoehorn in romance into a story where it clearly does not belong."

>>7101246
HeyoDamo

>>7101402
>implying there won't be problems down the line
inb4 you come crawling back to us with baggage and shit

>>7067972
"Free space"

>>7067876
Can someone please explain the axe arm and the mini me in OP's image? I don't understand.

>>7102946
it's asexual reproduction. Some animals just lose limbs and the limbs will grow into another animal.

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>cool, it's ace awareness week on tumblr
>there's posts including demisexuals, lithosexuals, autochorrisexuals and more labels
>mfw

>>7102958
and plants, but yeah

>>7103947
I was thinking of saying organisms but I couldn't remember if plants did something that was like fragmentation but not actually fragmentation because "fuck you, i'm a plant"

>>7102676
There are always problems down the line, what's your point?

>>7104329
My point is the romanticizing of being with someone asexual is not all that it seems. Most of the time I see people in a relationship like that, it turns into a "I want to have sex but they don't want to" discussion that was just covered up by the hope that the asexual person would open up with time.

Sexual person + asexual person = problems

>>7104364
>Most of the time I see people in a relationship like that

How often do you see that situation which is extremely rare and lets me know that you are full of shit and assuming thigns out of your ass?

>>7104376
I go to other asexual places online. And asexuals are the minority and sexual people are the majority so of course there's going to be a higher amount of those relationships compared to two asexuals finding and then also desiring a relationship with one another.

You try sticking your hand in a jar in jellybeans that's 99% orange and 1% green and see what you get.

>>7104387
Sure, you will prob think that because you don't know me, but I would like to think that I could separate dating an asexual being comfy, and cuddling and enjoying romantic relationship and leave sex for either fapping or going to a prostitute or trying to hook up with a random girl.

In any case 99% of relationships fail anyway, so I still don't see your point. Just because it will end in the future there is no point in enjoying an experience in the present?

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>>7104402
I'm not saying that they shouldn't do it, you fuck. I'm trying to say it's not all sugar and rainbows because this shit is going to happen.

People have needs and if you're with someone that cannot satisfy those needs, there is going to be friction.

Also
> being comfy, and cuddling and enjoying romantic relationship

Some ace people don't even like cuddling and all relationships with ace people aren't going to be comfy

>>7104436
some people only like to have sex with feet.
should you avoid all people if you dont want to have feet sex?

>>7104466
>"these types of relationships are hard and difficult and aren't as easy and nice as it seems" now means "don't have them at all cost:

Go back to literature class. I'm not taking this bait anymore.

>>7104376

>come to acegen
>start shit with asexual
>"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ASEXUALS ANON"

please leave mister trip

>>7104482
Exactly, some ace people don't like cuddling but some sexual people don't like cuddling either. You are just arguing for the sake of arguing at this point.

>>7104491
>start shit
Wut? I just made a comment and someone replied to me and I replied back in a normal conversation. Holy shit, I thought 4chan lgbt wasn't tumblr triggers paradise. Get that broomstick out of your asshole please.

>>7104635
>anon leaves discussion because they're done
>UR JUST ARGUING FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUING

lol

>be in high school
>I don't want sex
>Good for you, sweetie. Focus on your grades
>be in college
>I don't want sex
>OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU I WANT GRANDKIDS

>>7105111
Anon, you're your own person, grow up.

>>7105970
>complaining about a thing = having no ability to think for oneself
okay

>>7104635
>I replied back in a normal conversation
>>>7104376
>>you are full of shit

please leave mister trip

Is there any activity for awareness week? Like the cards thing last year

>>7108703
What card thing?

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>>7107439
no

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Reminder that Jughead from Archie Comics is canonically ace.

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I feel romantic attraction but never a need for it to be reciprocated. I can't really seem to care about being unrequited, it still feels great to love him and just being close friends with the guy is enough for me. Sure, it would be pretty nice to be loved back, but not being has a lot of perks for me, especially as an ace.
I feel a bit fucked up for actually enjoying this shit, is there anyone here on the same boat or is it just me?

>>7110105
I've heard of some people having a thing like that but with sexual attraction.

Forgive me for saying this but I think there's also people on /r9k/ like that but I think that's more of a sign of desperation rather than anything else.

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>>7110060

>>7110302
Mr.Clean is now the icon of asexuality.

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>>7110182
To be honest I think I heard some dumblr shit with labels for something similar, but dumblr is cancer.

Nah, it's alright. I don't think it's desperation in my case though, it's been pretty natural for me to not care about being unrequited for as long as I remember? I thought that maybe it wasn't romantic love and I was just a confused aro multiple times in the past thanks to that.
I just really fucking love the guy, simply talking and spending time with him is incredibly fun, being able to help him with hard times is great and I could go on for hours. Almost everything I really want to do with him I'm able to being a close friend, honestly. There are things I obviously can't, but I don't miss them really, it's like a once a year ocurrence to feel slightly bad about that.
I'm probably just plain weird, dunno.

>go to doctor
>she starts asking me psychological questions about my social life and romance life
>I mention I am essentially a friendless NEET who is also aromantic (not in those words; I just said I have "no interest in romance" and "don't like that" (kissing, dating, etc))
>tfw super embarrassed

When you put the two together, I just sounds like an ugly repressed loser who can't get a date. I'd still be aro if I was more social. It doesn't help I am pretty hard/dapper butch so people probably think I'm lesbian.

>>7110540
I've pretty accepted that my family probably thinks I'm a closeted lesbian at this point.

Any aros ever thought of getting married? I want a close relationship with someone but a platonic one. Close friends, not a boyfriend or girlfriend. However I realize that most people don't want close plafonic friendships. I also want kids some day and it'll be near impossible to be single and adopt.

>>7110349
More like unconditional love maybe? :D Wouldn't romantic love involve a little more? idk

>>7110638
Huh, it's certainly a possibility, never really considered it. But I don't know fampai, I do have a desire to do romantic stuff with him, I do fantasize about cuddling or kissing or holding hands or even marrying and etcetera. It's just that it not happening nor being possibile to happen doesn't really affect me for some reason, the exceptions being rare.

Feels like a weird mix of romantic love with unconditional love, what the fuck.

>>7110791
Isn't that just called a crush?
http://imgur.com/pdIxHYc

Is there any reason to not be biromantic as an asexual?

Before I found out I was asexual, I would occasionally look at porn (usually pictures/shitty Newgrounds games which I always preferred to "normal" porn), get an erection, but never actually masturbate to it and I'd always get bored pretty quick. But I never even once thought about looking at male on male porn.

But since that's no longer a concern, I'm not actually sure whether I would be OK with a relationship with a homoromantic asexual or not. How does everyone else determine their romantic orientation?

>>7110809
This is what I did.
>Would it be nice to be in a comfy house with a girl and spend time with them intimately?
>Would it be nice to be in a comfy house with a boy and spend time with them intimately?

>>7110797
>http://imgur.com/pdIxHYc
>squish

kill me now that shit sounds like a nightmare

>>7110797
A crush is romantic attraction, isn't it? But yeah, probably is, though it feels funny to just call it a crush due to the intensity plus it's duration (2 years and 1 month now I think).

The thing that makes me feel weird is the lack of a need to be reciprocated, I don't find it being an unrequited love depressing at all. Mostly wanted to see if anyone was similar here in regards to that though, I'm almost sure it's of romantic nature in the end.

>>7110855
You gotta cherry pick the good stuff off, m8.

>>7110872
>implying a crush can't be long as fuck
you need to head over to /r9k/ and see how fucking long they've been talking about "that girl" or "the one".

Also, I'm quite sure there have been people with crushes that were okay with it being not reciprocated.

>>7110887
I know it can be long fampai, it just feels funny.
Though
>visiting /r9k/
God I had a look there once and I'm never looking again at that place.

That's what I wanted to know though, thanks.

>>7110917
>God I had a look there once and I'm never looking again at that place.

That's why I'm using it as an example because they're actually "normal" sexual/romantic-wise and they also divulge a lot of information so it's good to find out what is "normal" if you can sift through the desperation, self loathing, and narcissism.

>>7110917

What is /r9k/ even? It's one of those boards I forget existed, like the mecha board. I only know it from /r9k/ Elsa and people complaining that the board is full of losers. Afaik it's a social board... So they just talk about nothing?

>>7110809

You can't chose your romantic orientation. You're born with it.

>>7110559

I've told my parents and they still think I'm gay. They can understand me being asexual but aro? No way. EVERYONE wants to fall in love. She's always talking about when I'm older and date someone but I have told her for years that it's highly unlikely it'll happen.

>>7111010
/r9k/ is like the acegen except instead of sexuality/romantic shit stopping them from being a normal person, it's their own personality, social disabilities, and mental illness.

Most of it is just complaining how they don't have the life they want, getting angry at outside forces/normal people, and feeling insecure.

>I've told my parents and they still think I'm gay. They can understand me being asexual but aro? No way. EVERYONE wants to fall in love. She's always talking about when I'm older and date someone but I have told her for years that it's highly unlikely it'll happen.

Yeah, I tried hinting at my asexuality and I've mostly gotten "you'll find someone eventually" and "b-but muh grandkids". One sister is basically okay with it but I don't think they actually know what asexuality is and thinks it's just celibacy so that'll be fun to explain when the time comes...

>>7111056

At least I want kids. My parents are fine with me adopting. They find it pretty respectable if anything.

>>7111073

Am I the only one who's somewhat -terrified- about giving birth? *shivers* I'd be fine with adopting, but conceiving a kid? ECH...

no, its gross, and terrifying, there's no fking way a baby is going through there. not to mention there's no way in hell i'm letting a guy put his dick in me.

>>7112801

Aren't most people?

I'm ftm and would give birth.... Except I refuse anything but a natural birth. And I realize there's no way I can deal with birth pain. I can't even handle stubbing my toe, never mind pushing out a 7 pound baby.

I am also afraid of my genes honestly. I don't have the best in the world. I don't know if mental disorders are genetic but my mother suffers from severe social anxiety and generalized anxiety. I also suffer from that. I know adopted kids might also be anxious, but I wish my children don't have to suffer the misery of anxiety disorders. I'm also physically not the best person - lots of allergies, a weak immune system, born with some defects that were fixed with surgery - so that's a thing too.

>>7112859

Same.
I've been told that my skin would never be able to sustain expension (or it would require extensive/expensive care for it not to break). I was already terrified about the idea, but now I'm like absolute NOPE, wishing we were in the future with pods and stuff like that.

The passing out shit genes has crossed my mind too, but when you think about it, no human is perfect. If it's not the genes, it's gonna be something outside that's gonna fuck you up.
I ended up with stuff my cousin has, and even some new shit nobody knows where it's from. I'm sure I'd be passing out other kinds of disorders because my parents and other senpai members have them, even though I don't.
For these reasons, I've stopped caring too much about genes, everyone's fucked up in some way anyway, and don't get me started with chromosomes going nuts for no reason during duplication (I think it's a point of no return considering our society nowadays).

>>7113117
family* members, gaddamit lmaoo

>>7112801
Nah, I basically think of childbirth as parasitism because the fetus grows inside of you and saps your nutrients and you can even feel it moving around.

Has anyone seen this short film?

https://youtu.be/YN9WU-riZlg

Kinda sucks how the ace dude was a being a bit of a downer when he was being told about sex stuff. With that in mind along with the heavy handed talk, I thought it was okay.

>>7114306
Noooo, what a sad ending :( But I feel them so much. There's heavy handed talk but I guess it was necessary to make it this way, to condense and portray those everyday subtleties, especially for such a short movie. I've found myself saying the same things as the guy, really, about the club and stuff.

>>7110635
I've considered marrying a friend for tax benefits

>>7114306
That was interesting, thanks for sharing it

>>7080349
I'm going to pretend you're being serious and respond.

First of all, many asexuals in relationships end up dating friends.

Secondly, you are assuming that an asexual person cannot be pursued by a sexual person.

Lastly, an asexual and aromantic mean different things. An asexual might want a cuddle buddy. This is why some asexuals say bi/ace or ace/lesbian or so on, because they desire a non-sexual but romantic relationship with a specific gender.

Asexuals aren't rocks or cardboard boxes. They're people that don't feel sexual attraction.

Can a person have fetishes and masturbate and still be ace? Because I do those things but I don't really feel like I want to actually have sex with people.

>>7115660
no

>>7115660
depends on what you are masturbating to.

>>7115660


These days, a fetish is just a taste in porn, rly.

As for masturbating, yes, you can still be Ace and organize one's personal inventory for maximum efficiency (Got that from a Dilbert book. It's a fancy way of saying "stayed in my office and masturbated on the company dime")

Besides, it seems that Aces loving BDSM borders on meme by now.

The answer to "Am I Asexual?" is basically, do YOU consider yourself Ace? Not your friends, not your family, YOU.

>>7115660
There are asexuals with fetishes and there are asexuals that masturbate. You can be ace.

>>7115660
Yes

>>7117375

i was trying to get into BDSM before i realized i was ace.
i think the very defined roles of BDSM and the very defined negotiating before the sex is something that makes sense to asexuals.

>>7117753
Not really. It's mostly the mental aspect they achieve or the situations that they can be placed in.

Also, bdsm =/= fucking. Some people include sex. Some don't.

>>7068281
Pupinia Stewart

>>7117835
I looked them up and I don't get it. Do you mean the person behind that role or the role themselves?

>>7119574
Didn't get it either. I think he's just trolling

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>go to LGBT+ support group
>pretty chill, I mostly talk about how I discovered I was ace
>give a transgirl (pansexual) a ride home afterwards so she doesn't have to take the bus
>chatting in my car
>she's getting kinda touchy
>"So, would you be open to dating a transgirl?"
>mfw I'm still getting over a breakup and I really just want to hold someone

As an ace person, is it wrong to date a sexual person if you deliberately intend to not have sex with them?

>>7126137
Only if you don't tell them that. Let them know now instead of making it difficult later

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Guys, I need your help. My bro is in a tough spot and I'm worried for him.
He's been dating this asexual girl that we both know for a little more than a year now. He fell for her hard basically right when he first met her, and it took him a while to work up the courage to ask her out, but they've been going out semi-regularly for about a year now. She seems to enjoy cuddling with him, but in other respects has not really shown any kind of enthusiasm about it. And that's what I'm worried about.

I'm under the vague impression, just from knowing about it via other sources including some in the OP, that some asexuals experience romantic love as I understand it but that some do not. I know for certain that my best friend experiences romantic love as I understand it, but I don't know if the girl he loves does, and I'm terrified that she's going to break his heart.

As far as I can tell, her lack of interest could indicate a lack of interest, an expectation that he's always going to take the initiative, ambivalence, or even a genuine attempt to connect by letting him go first. The worst part is, she has virtually no romantic experience, so it really could be any one of these things! And my best friend is completely lost trying to guess at what is and isn't OK on his part in this situation, sexually or otherwise, and I'm at a loss to help him. (I should mention: it's not strictly speaking, just about sex, but that is definitely a factor at play. They haven't done anything yet, he wants to, but doesn't want to proceed unless he knows she wants to too.) Because on the one hand, he really likes this girl and wants to make the relationship work, but I can't help but think that if she doesn't reciprocate, then maybe the better thing to do would be to just... break it off. But I'm sure that he doesn't want to hear that, so I'm not sure what to tell him to do.

Any insight on this at all would be appreciated. I just want to be able to do something for him. Thanks in advance.

>>7126305

what are you actually asking here?
the only person who knows if she's romantically interested in your brother is her.
if she is asexual she will maybe not want to fuck him, but maybe she will. the only one who knows is her.
what is ok in this situation: your brother talking to her, asking her the things that concern him and his expectations. communicating like adults.
what is not ok: having your brother ask 4chan "how 2 fugg ace girl".

do not tell your brother you think his girlfriend doesn't love him. just that small seed of doubt could ruin their relationship.

>>7126305
It depends. Is your brother a good person? If so, then he shouldn't be trying to have his way where sex is concerned. He should be happy with what he has. If he's a bad person, then he's probably going to try to rape her at some point anyway, regardless of what you do.

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>>7127208
>>7127972
I guess I should post a few clarifications.
First, he's not actually my brother. He's my best friend, a caring, extremely considerate man, and a guy I'd take a bullet for. He's a good man.
More importantly, it's about more than just sex. I'll acknowledge that's a factor, like I did before, but one thing I understand for certain is that he doesn't want to do anything she doesn't also want to do, full stop. Put another way: he doesn't want to "have his way," he wants to have it "her way" but is finding it distressingly difficult to know what that is. Another mutual friend actually said the same thing, that he should take what she wants into consideration, but as far as anyone's aware she doesn't really want anything re: their relationship. That's why I'm worried for it.

>If he's a good person then he shouldn't be trying to have his way where sex is concerned
He's not. He is, however, trying to advance their relationship: that doesn't necessarily constitute sex, just more of an emotional investment. Obviously I'm biased, but even in the abstract I don't think it's selfish to desire that the object of your affections returns affections in kind.

>communicating like adults
I've mentioned this before to him, but it seems like they're both having trouble: I'm not sure she even knows what she wants, if she wants anything at all. Insight on that last bit is why I thought to ask you guys.
>asking 4chan
I haven't been able to help him on my own yet when he's asked me personally for advice, so I thought I'd see if you had any insights. It's just me here: if anything I say comes off as ignorant, chauvinistic, or stupid, please know that I am not my friend. And, just to make sure this is clear, it's not just about fucking.
>do not tell your brother you think his girlfriend doesn't love him. just that small seed of doubt could ruin their relationship.
You're right. I won't.

>>7128085
>even in the abstract I don't think it's selfish to desire that the object of your affections returns affections in kind

So if you want something from someone you think they're obliged to give it to you? You think they don't have the right to refuse you? Wow, you have a sick mind. Never be in a relationship.

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>>7128141
That doesn't follow from what I said at all. "Desire" and "feel obligated to" are different phrases that indicate different things. I might wish to have, say, a cookie, but that by no means indicates, implies, or infers that I also feel that others have a moral imperative to bake one for me. They're simply not the same words.

I specifically asked 4chan because I'm used to people being more thoughtful here, as opposed to, say, tumblr, where I don't have an account anyway and where I'd be more worried about an irrational knee-jerk assumption like yours. Yes, I know, but seriously, there are some good people here. I hope that generalization isn't mistaken.

>>7128179
Why are you getting involved in someone else's relationship anyway? They'll figure it out

>>7129211
this basically what happened:

>gay men had an organization
>lesbian want to join their club
>Gay men bitch about it
> HURRR DURR ONLY MEN ARE ALLOWED
>lesbians are reluctantly allowed
>bisexuals want to join in
>ONLY GAYS ARE ALLOWED GIT OUT STRAIGHTIES
>trans people want to join the club
>HURRR DURR ONLY GAYS ARE ALLOWED
>trans people are reluctantly allowed
>ace people want to join club
>HURR DURR ONLY GAYS AND TRANS ARE ALLOWED

>>7126305
>>7128085
Anon she is ace no? Any kind of sexual advancement is going to run into some pretty big problems. An ace's sexual plumbing doesn't work quite as it should due to the whole experiencing no sexual attraction. Some aces are capable of going through it admittedly often with difficulty. Others just can't as sex repulses them just that much.

The most 'optimum' situation is basically going to be her biting the possibly not so metaphorical pillow and going through with it. Problem is chances are he is going to sense that something is 'off' if she isn't fantastic actress. Which is true.

And no as an ace she has at best no interest in sex and at worse is repulsed by it. Good news is she wont ever cheat as it literally doesn't compute, but the sexual aspect of the relationship is going to be fucked in exchange.

She is likely never going to actually desire sex itself at best she will do it because he wants it. So no she wont ever reach the point of wanting her way in terms of sex. Which will naturally cause problems as sex is an important part of a relationship. So for the relationship 'advancing' to that particular event/level will have problems.

I swear every thread has this crop up at least once and its always the same old shit. Its like clockwork.

anyone else pretend to want sex to
make your partner happy

i dont really mind it, though i kinda wish it was over quicker

>>7130581
Since I'm also repulsed by sex, that unfortunately can't happen.

>>7130581
I find that so long as your a good enough actor they'll never know. Which is very important.

As for getting it over quicker...oh yeah i can understand that big time. You gotta be patient though or they start to realize something is up even if your a good actor. So the key I have found it attempting to outlast them. If you can reach that point and then tone it down a bit then your fucking golden. Alas i never did figure out how to make it time go by faster. Best I got was realizing that the sooner they get off enough times the sooner it ends.

So yeah all the fucking time.

Thank god I ain't sex repulsed, but I will admit it does get old. Worse part is when it finally goes down if it gets too low then you got problems. Can't even get much of a break because of how important sex is for them.

Oh what i would give to find a fellow ace.

>>7130581
I prefer just to be alone. Maybe thats a good thing.

whats your favorite movie, acegen?

>>7132598
I don't really watch movies.

>>7130470
>I swear every thread has this crop up at least once and its always the same old shit. Its like clockwork.
I am fully aware that your thread gets lot of people asking how to fuck aces.

I AM NOT ASKING HOW I CAN GET MY FRIEND'S ACE GIRLFRIEND TO FUCK HIM.

When I say "sex is a factor," I mean it only insofar as my friend is sexual and sexually attracted to her. He is NOT currently trying to fuck her, because he knows that she's not interested. I don't know how I can communicate it any clearer than this. Hopefully this clears that up so we don't waste any more time talking about sex.

I read this a while ago on AVEN's FAQ:
>Why do asexuals want romantic relationships, anyway?
>Not all asexuals do want romantic relationships. Some asexuals want romantic relationships because they experience romantic attraction.
My question is, how can we discern whether a given person does or does not want a romantic relationship? My fear is that she does not, and is simply going along with the romantic relationship because she's comfortable with it, being a friend of the guy, and not because of an actual desire for romantic intimacy ("intimacy" != fucking). It's also possible that she doesn't know herself if she experiences romantic attraction, because she doesn't have a lot of (romantic) experience.
>So ask her, dummy.
Similar questions arrive with the response that she's "OK with it." Nobody is knows if this indicates comfortability or desire. Pressing further on my own suspicions and asking more explicitly might introduce the "seed of doubt" effect mentioned earlier that might prematurely ruin their (romantic) relationship, which is the last thing I want.

>>7132710
oh

I don't either

but every now and again i'll watch a movie with a friend and sometimes it is an nice emotional experience

it depends on the movie

>>7132313
Don't some people listen to music while they're boning? Like, over speakers. I always listen to music whenever I'm running or doing something else that's kinda boring on its own.

>>7132598
Restless by Gus Van Sant. It may be a kind of a stupid movie but I find it adorable and pretty funny in a strange, maybe cynical way.
Other favourites of mine are: Pulp Fiction, Juno and Sin City.

>>7132760
restless sounds cool, I might be in to it. maybe I'll watch it some time.

my favorite movie is "When Marnie was There". don't laugh.

>>7132720
You're really overthinking this. If she is "OK with it" and he is "OK with it" just let them be.

>>7132825
I do that a lot. The thing is, he's asked me for advice a couple of times on this general theme and I'd like to actually help if I can.
>and he is "OK with it"
That's the missing bit. Like I said, he asked for advice. Right now, he's the initiator for basically everything except when they're hanging out and she cuddles with him. From what I can gather, for her to just show some more initiative (say, suggesting date ideas) would probably make him really happy. He's trying to focus on what she wants, but her passivity in the relationship is making that somewhat impossible.

It's my private worry that her passivity is due to a lack of romantic attraction.

>>7132851
maybe she doesn't need to be romantically attracted to him to enjoy his company and want him to be around

>>7132861
That's certainly true. But this is a specifically romantic relationship we're talking about here, where, ideally, both parties are romantically attracted to each other.

>>7132878
That other anon is right; you really are overthinking this. You should go. Stop worrying about this.

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>>7132804
>my favorite movie is "When Marnie was There". don't laugh.
It's actually one of my favourite Ghibli movies. I found it more emotional than most other Ghibli films and in a context with which one can relate more easily (a modern urban context as opposed to WWII as in Grave of the Fireflies).
Nevetheless, the whole Marnie thing is pretty unrealistic and feels a bit weird appearing in a film that otherwise went for a realistic setting, but I didn't mind it. Maybe I was being forgiving because it wasn't directed by one of the 2 big names of the studio.

>>7132897
I wouldn't be surprised, but I don't think I am. The question is relatively simple when you strip away the circumstances and evidence I've given.
>My friend is having trouble with his romantic relationship with a woman who may not experience romantic attraction.
>The trouble described is consistent with what one could expect from courting someone who does not experience romantic attraction(passivity due to lack of investment).
>Therefore, it is possible that she does not feel romantic attraction and that is the source of the trouble.
Determining this last point seems impossible, so I'm trying to gauge the probabilities, or see if there are possibilities I didn't think of.

>>7132904
I tend to rationalize stories and their morals as metaphorical rather than literal, so the scenario in Marnie doesn't really bug me. It scratches that itch for the resolution of childhood emotions and so I like it.

>>7132598
I really like Fury Road currently. I also like How to Train Your Dragon 2 but it's mostly for the music.


>>7132940
>you're overthinking it
>BUT WHAT IF I'M NOT OVER THINKING IT, THOUGH
nig, you got all the info you can get. pls go and have a seat.

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I'm 21 male in college and am depressed as fuck from being confused sexually. I am attracted to men and women in the sense that they are cute and I'd love to hang around and sleep with them and cuddle. I never think of having sex with them and even kissing grosses me out. I have had experiences before trying things out but I never want to take it further.

I'm getting really stressed hiding behind the façade of being straight because I have been caught and confronted by my friends for staring at other guys. I want to come out ace but I don't want to be taken as a joke, which it is to most people. Just to keep things simple I'd rather say I'm bi and that's the end of it. I'd probably lose some standing with my roommate who has asked several times if I'm gay and is clearly uncomfortable with the idea of gays. But on the plus side my friends make a bigger impact on stress than my roommate does and they would accept me being bi.

So what do I do. The stress is pilling up and the depression is starting to hit full force again. I'm thinking about coming out as bi but wanted to know your takes on it.

>>7101402
pick me!

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I only came here to post this image and leave.

>>7136397
back the heck off, hes mine!

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>Be me
>Always thought I was gay
>Started looking at gay pornography at an early age
>STRICTLY looked and never touched myself
>Be 16 and finally try wacking it
>EwwGross.jpg
>Still waiting to be attracted to males that are real people that I will actually ever meet and talk to
So am I still technically gay or what? Already came out and everything.

>>7136589
I only came here to say I bursted out in laughter in public and leave.

>>7067972
Not
>safe space

So close

>>7137346
The program I used only had "free space"

>>7137142
I mean, are you still experiencing romantic attraction? If so, I would call that gay.

>>7137142
Why not label as gaysexual? As tumblr as it is, that's what works for me.

>be asexual
>always want to cuddle before bed late at night

hlep

>>7141285
>find asex bf/gf
>cuddle before bed
Easy two step process

>>7141296
im trying anon but it's a time consuming process when you live in a small place

>>7141315
I know the feeling, but don't you give up anon. I had someone like that for a short while and it was amazing, cuddles are definitely something everyone needs to experience. I wish asex/extremely low sex drive people weren't so hard to find

>>7141365
Thanks for the encouragement. It makes me feel warm inside

>>7135507
I would recommend coming out to people casually, whenever it comes up in conversation. Not like
>"Hey, I heard about asexuals"
>"Oh yea, I'm one of those btw"

But more like
>"Bro u wanna go get some ladies tonight?"
>"Nah dude, not really into that"
>whatareyoufuckinggay.gif
>"Well, you see..."

That way there is no big "coming out moment" that you need to plan, and people don't feel you're being obnoxious about your sexuality; you're just being truthful.
Of course, if you're friends do end up ridiculing you, then you have to figure out how you want to continue with your relationship with them (which may be not at all).

With my brother, I just kept explaining it to him every time he asked. It's exhausting, but I think he's getting the idea.

>>7080349
Atheism doesn't not automatically mean you do not practice religion because you can be both religious and an atheist.

Atheism just means you don't believe in a God/Gods. There are atheistic religions. Jainism and Buddhism for example.

It's a poor example in this instance.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation because it is a descriptor of how one feels sexual attraction, in this case, it is not felt.

>>7145591

Fuck off tumbrina.

>>7135507

I'm slowly working on my parents for when I finally surface. They've already accepted that I'd prefer to adopt a kid than pass on my shitty genetics. I've started using "companion" when they would expect "partner". My mother has already told me that she doesn't care if my companion is male or female. My father might be trickier to work out. On one hand, he's involved in amateur theatre, which seems to draw gays like a moth to a flame. On the other hand, he's an inactive Catholic. Not sure what the stance the Old Man in the Vatican has regarding being Asexual.

I'm 29 and still running silently. You will have periods of Ace Malaise and it will suck. I won't say that it gets better, but I will say that the longer you endure, the easier it will be to endure. If you want to surface, be sure to test the waters first. Ask your roommate what would happen between the two of you if you came out as non-straight. He will most likely think that you are asking what he would do if you came out as gay and give you a general idea of what to expect.

As to your friends, do it, Those who care don't matter and those who matter won't care.

Coming out as bi though is probably the opposite of what you want to do though. My advice would be to come out as someone with very specific tastes in a partner.

>>7146666
It's quite obvious they're just a troll, mate.

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>>7146666
First off nice quads.

I've had a few days to let the panic attacks starts to subside and I've become confident that I'm going to come out bi. I like your idea of saying I have very specific tastes. I could even say i straight up have a low sex drive. That should keep summer pressure off of my back. I feel like if I came out ace and still made comments like she's cute they would doubt or treat me different. Saying bi let's me be able to say he's cute without anyone thinking different. Most people also know what bi is but not many know what ace is. Plus I'm 21, while I'm confident that I may be ace I don't want to restrict myself to a label if it's possibly not true.

Oh and on the roommate front, he's noticed I've been depressed the past few days and had really made it clear I can tell him whatever is bothering me. It seems really nice and I'm not as scared of his reaction but am still a bit worried since he's made it clear he doesn't support gays.

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I actually made a chart for asexual argument bullshit that shows the information of both sides because I have no life and am currently trying to get away from studying because I'm garbage.

The fuck is wrong with me, /acegen/

>>7150001
That actually sounds interesting. Could you post it, fampai?

>>7150001
Post it.

>>7150124
>>7150551
Before you read it, this is a rough draft and I'm basing this on tumblr shit because that's where the argument stuff is the loudest and is more frequent.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By9rFmkjMo-beFVsR1ZhaklhS3M/view?usp=sharing

tl;dr
Anti Ace:
>asexuals aren't a real orientation and some of them are mean. This makes me feel unsafe.

Pro Ace:
>asexuals are a real orientation and need a place to go. The LGBT community is the best place for them.

>>7150899
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I could figure out a name for each side since it's so diverse so I just went for "For" and "Against"

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1797282177001/?#sp=show-clips

Found an old vid of fox news talking about ace people. You can guess how it went...

>>7154216
Here's the transcript:
Greg Gutfeld: Well most feel a tug, they just shrug and speaking of people who feel no sexual attraction to other. A new book argues that asexuals, an estimated 1% of the population, should be recognized as a fourth sexual orientation or FSO for short.
With the author calling them an understudied group who can feel very excluded from our quote “very sexualized culture.” Indeed it is. One fan on neither woman nor man said quote “We want asexuality to be recognized as a valid sexual orientation rather than a disorder or something people have to hide.“ So let’s discuss this in the lighting round. Brooke, do you buy this orientation? Asexuals?

Brooke Goldstein: Oh I buy it! Asexuality has been around for a very long time. It’s called being a woman every three and a half weeks. It’s a wonderful excuse to get out of obligations, like come on!
I feel really bad for this poor 23 year old who actually went and did the interview, who admitted that he doesn’t objectify women so they classify him as being asexual. That’s the whole problem with the study, they went around to a bunch of men and they didn’t want to have sex ten times a day and all of a sudden they’re asexual.

Greg: So you think that these people were just normal

Brooke: Absolutely. They were just normal in an uber sexualized society so we had to invent this asexuality.

Greg: Jamie, could it be that they’re exaggerating asexuality? The numbers? Like everybody does. Remember when we were told that this population was this big and then it wasn’t really this big and we were talking about pixies?

>>7154279
Jamie Weistein: I don’t think academics ever exaggerate anything. There was a show about asexuals on Saturday Night Live called Pat so I think they’re represented to some degree. But if you were ever on a college campus, I remember there was this lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and then questioning. They keep adding different letters. It does seem like we’re going to keep adding different letters with this.

Greg: But I don’t think they belong on that because they have a lack of sexuality… so they’ll be treated like as lepers if you will. Asexual lepers. Dan, fact is in high school, you knew somebody like this didn’t you? And if you didn’t know somebody like this it was you.

Dan Soder: Woah I don’t know, I- you’re cornering me like that. I don’t know, I think it’s like they say they want to be represented, what do you want? Just like the most boring beer commercials ever? Just like a guy that’s like “beer!”. That’s it, no chicks in bikinis.

Greg: That’s the point! If this is the beginning, Bill, of asexual rights, what kind of discrimination would they be fighting against?

Bill Schult: How are they discriminated against to begin with? They get focused on more things, get more done, not have to worry about a myriad of things that you sexual people have to worry about. I think the problem with this is that it’s 1% and can we just after a while stop recognizing things? Like if it’s that small portion of the population, do I have to recognize you? It’s like “woah recognize me because I wear sock monkey hats!” Ok, there’s a couple of people who wear sock monkey hats, I don’t need to recognize you! Yes you exist, move on.

Greg: If somebody wants me to recognize you, I wonder what do they want? And then you have to ask yourself well what are they not getting?

Dan: Well we know asexual people don’t want sex. So that’s what we know they’re not after

Greg: Exactly so they want something else. I don’t trust them at all.

>>7154288
I lost my shit at that last line

But it's unfortunate that people think this way. Especially that chick, jesus christ I want to hit her

>>7154343
Yeah, she was deep in the "wut, ur just normal" line of thinking. Especially that "all women are asexual during their period" line.

>>7070545
>>7070545
If that is the case, then couldn't *anyone* claim to be asexual even if they are sexually active?

I suppose a very sexually promiscuous person could claim not to have any attraction for the truckloads of people they fuck, and it would be valid, right? They could just claim they have a very active libido....

>>7154385
There are sexually active asexuals so I don't see the point you're trying to show.

Some masturbate. Some fuck. Some even enjoy it.

And it's not just like there's just asexuals that have zero sexual attraction. There's also grey-asexuals that are inbetween that gap.

>>7154411
I wasn't trying to show a point, and I never said that I was. Read my post again, slowly this time, and when you're done I'll explain it again for you if you still can't answer.

>>7154474
I answered your question. And I do not have the time to deal with your catty, passive aggressiveness. So if you do not feel as if you did not get enough information, google it, because I'm not going to deal with your rudeness.

>>7154501
If you think I was trying to "show a point" then you clearly didn't read or understand what I was asking to begin with.

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>>7154520
k

Since nobody in this thread knows the answer to what I asked earlier, I'll ask a different question: is it possible for someone to develop asexuality later in life, after being sexually active for years?

>>7154553
>asks if people can be asexual if they they're sexually active
>gets an answer of "there are sexual active asexuals"
>"no one knows the answer"
nigga wut

Anyway, sexuality is fluid so yeah that could happen. Plus, there's sexually active asexuals so it doesn't really matter. It's based on sexual attraction not how much you fuck. That's like saying a dude can't be gay because he's a virgin or he was closeted and has been fucking chicks for years.

>>7154575
I literally said none of those things.

And FYI a "dude" *can* be gay even if he is a virgin.

>>7154593
>I literally said none of those things.
wut
>This thing is false like this also false idea
>"UM THAT IDEA IS FALSE FYI"
WUT

>>7154989
You clearly don't understand how comparisons work.

>>7154593
Anon, I'm sorry but you have serious reading comprehension problems

>>7158265
no you have a serious drinking problems

>>7154373
What did she mean by that?
I get the most horny when I'm on my period

>>7154385
And a man could claim to be straight even when he exclusively fucks guys. Someone could claim to be a good student while they're failing out of school. Someone could claim to be nice when all they do is argue with people on the internet.
What's the point of "proving" that people can claim to be whatever the hell they want to be even if it isn't really true?

Just because there are liars out there doesn't mean that everyone's a liar.

>>7068490
It kind of is tho. Non-aces are zombified by their own biological urge to mate. It's genuinely horrifying from a non zombie perspective desu

>>7158758
Shouldn't one just take this on a case-by-case basis, then? Instead of just making a blanket statement that covers any range of sexual activity while still being asexual?

>>7159564
Yeah, we are taking it on a case by case.
Which then makes sense to say "some asexuals can be sexually active".

so uh, do you guys watch porn?

>>7161228
Some do, some don't.

Personally, I usually watch frequently as my libido is high.

>>7158713
I don't think she knows that there are women that don't become withdrawn and are sexually inactive. I think all she knows is the "leave me alone and gib chocolate cuz muh aunt flo" and "eww period sex is gross" people.

>>7161228
I do, I can't concentrate on fapping without it.

>>7161228
Ew.

>>7163287
I find that I need to put significantly more effort in jacking it if I'm not watching porn/reading erotica/whatever. It helps me to not focus on my own dick, which is distracting and a turn off. Plus I suck at fantasizing because, ya know.

>>7161228
I read it for the articles.

>>7159564
>>7158758
>>7154385
>>7070545
"sexual attraction" as it's generally understood by aces is basically undetectable and therefore meaningless. If someone's having sex with someone else, who's to say why? Maybe social pressure, or to make the other person feel good, or just to make themselves feel good. You can't judge how "genuine" an attraction is. All we can really observe is behavior, so that's how we must judge people.

>>7154553
Isn't that par for the course for older people, especially older women?

>>7164371
Actually I've heard that playboy has good articles.

>>7164415
>not knowing that older people still fuck
>not knowing that elderly homes are filled with stds and stis due to all the fucking
you sweet summer child

>>7164560
That's incredibly depressing. I thought that at least post-menopausal women could see things clearly for a good potion of their lives before they died. I guess most people are trapped for their entire lives by the delusion that their desire is the correct way of viewing the world.

>>7165009
Please get your head out of your ass and off your shetland pony you propped on fucking stilts.

I am not going to have asexuality turn into the new atheism.

We are not better than people who have sexual attraction. And even if you believe you are, there is no need to wave your dick around about it. You don't do make fun of clueless kids, handicapped people, or people who can't do a thing you can. That's basic decency.

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>>7165009
I thought this was /acegen/, not AVEN.

>>7165040
>We are not better than people who have sexual attraction

We are ethically better. Sexual attraction can be unrequited. And even after a sexual advance has been spurned, the sexual attraction remains. That's simply wrong, and yet it's everywhere.

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>>7165445

>>7161228
sometimes

mostly when im bored

>>7161228
no

Sometimes I enlarge pictures on this website and gawk at them for a moment

But I don't really get aroused by it, or other porn, for that matter.