/agpg/ - AGP general

>Tfw AGP and trans?
>Tfw am I actually living my fetish

I started hrt at one point and it made me really happy. "Guess I'm actually trans." Then I had to take a break from it, and when I went back on, the AGP is back bigger than ever... what do? I should be seeing a therapist soon, do I tell them about AGP?

>>7061909
yeah tell him about AGP, but he might not give you pills

does it seem more likely that AGP is genetic or caused by a combination of genetics and upbringing? my childhood could have been better, wondering what other's experience is

I'm also very likely going to transition, the thought of having long beautiful hair is too appealing. if they don't give me a script I'll just say I'm going to self-med

>>7061323
My endo said I was on the higher end of male average

>>7061909
Yes, tell them. If you were really happy on hrt, you're probably actually trans, though. Still worth talking about it.

Option in wearing hip pads? Any recommendations?

My silhouette is much more feminine when I enhance my hips which then makes me feel more feminine.

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>>7061928
The cause of paraphilias is inconclusive, however, psychological, biological (genetic) and environmental theories are prevalent.

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>>7061928
I think no one really knows and everything is just speculation about causes. Good luck with your trans.

>>7061893
I know this is literally the fetishist thread but in the future can we have cute pics instead of sexual.
>tfw not a korean qt

>>7061913
>>7061939
If they take away my pills, I'll just go suicidal again :)

I guess I'm pretty trans, eh?

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>>7061952
If they look good why not

>>7061909
I have no personal experience with this but I know that the majority of people who transition and live as women for a long period of time eventually stop experiencing AGP. If you felt better after starting the process then there's no reason not to restart it.


Paging the one successful transitioner from this thread. You are called to serve once more, Anon.

>>7061928
Given how AGP tends to show up the moment you hit puberty and how a lot of people here had pre-puberty fantasies involving becoming girls..

>>7061928
Long hair feels absolutely great, worth the effort and wait (been growing mine for 1,5 year), though Im not trans or beautiful, it sure makes me happier to be more feminine.

>>7061955
10/10 I'm proud of you for continuing the noble tradition of Blanchard shoops. Sadly nothing can match his actual twitter feed in terms of lulz.

>>7061971
>I know this is literally the fetishist thread but in the future can we have cute pics instead of sexual.
+1 to cuteness

>>7061995
I just saved it from trans-humor thread. Do you have anything saved?

>>7061992
me too. the last girlfriend I had I would braid hers and play with it all the time, only recently just let mine grow long (about 1 year) and I love it
I've read being on t-blockers+estrogen makes it thicker

>>7062001
I made the "If you see this while scrolling.." Blanchard meme but I deleted it after posting it, as is the way of honorable samurai.

>>7061909
Also if you give us more details about yourself we might be able to tell you more.

>>7062014
You should have more scalp hair and no baldness with no DHT, not sure about the thickness of individual hairs, some say they should become softer. Mine are getting softer, but I dont know if its hormonal or since Im using hair products for dry hair.

>>7061971
> I know this is literally the fetishist thread but in the future can we have cute pics instead of sexual

oh yes of course
I thought cute girls were making people's agp stronger or stuff
anyway I'll see next time

>>7061976
Wait, what are those? Are those for reshaping, or do they have fake stuff in them to seem bigger?

>>7061981

>Given how AGP tends to show up the moment you hit puberty

I don't think I started puberty by 11. Or at least I hope not.

>>7062056
Cute stuff is not a fetish though is it?
I really love it but its not arousing, its emotional.

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>>7061971
>>7061893
>there's always a qt in the op
>ywn be that pretty

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>>7062071

>But you could have been...

>>7062071
magicpillsthatturnyouintoagirl.jpg

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>>7062063
lace padded panties, but dont get lazy girl, do your squats!

>>7062070
well when i see a cute girl i always feel like i wished to be her
when i see sexual stuff, at least i know it's just temporary

>>7062133
When it comes to cute women my feelings are best summed up as "I'd want you if I didn't want to be you".

>>7062083
>you could have been
... and this hurts the most, I envy young ones who still have time and all the medical advancement at their disposal now

>>7062132
Oh its for the butt... My butts alright, I think... Nothing can be done about the hips though...

>>7062141
yeah that's why I put a more sexual image in the op, I thought it was more positive, in a way

>>7062132
>Literally a butt bra

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>>7062145
there are hip pad versions too but they look silly, you'll have to grow some fat there, eat more cookies with your girlskittles

>>7062132
>>7062171
Both of these look very uncomfortable. You'll get really sweaty really quickly.

>>7062171
Not that. Fats not a problem, I mean the bone

>>7062184
I live in cold climate. Damn, I really want them now.

Does lot T make your body sensitive?
My thing is kind of numb, but a lot of places send me shivers.
And, you know... The hole...

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>tfw get aroused just by reading about HRT

>>7062070
With AGP, there is no distinction.

>>7062225
Low* T

>>7062143

Same. I'm not sure about you, but the first hospital in the US to treat transgender youth as young as 12 was Boston Children's Hospital in January, 2007. Coincidentally, I turned 12 that same month. Of course, besides unsupportive parents, other problems would have been that I lived in Florida at the time, and that the cost of puberty blockers would have been tremendous.

I was actually kind of triggered when I watched Miracles from Heaven and they showed the front of the hospital.

>>7062225
Alone it shouldn't, rather the opposite, estrogen might.

>>7062261
I'm not on any meds, I just fap a lot.
I guess I'm just "lucky".

>>7062251
You are still young and have few years before you get more masc

>>7062243
Same. I don't know if getting aroused by reading about other people transitioning is AGP though.

>>7062278

I've been on HRT for 13 months actually. It just feels like "all is lost" anyway.

>>7062308
why do you feel that way? of course it isn't as good as it could be, but isn't it also not as bad as not being on the hormones at all?

>>7062278
>>7062308

How old are you, anyway? Also, I feel like there was this huge increase in masculinization of my face at 19 or 20.

>>7062294
You imagine yourself becoming feminine, don't you? And it excites you. A G P

>>7062321
It gets seriously worse after 20-25 (depending on genetics)

>>7062341
My latest burst of masculinization had to be the final year I was able to repress. So sad :(

>>7062324
Sometimes, but I'm also aroused by the thought of others being similarly feminized. I once got turned on by a transwoman gushing about how happy HRT made her.

>>7062308
I'm sorry. Keep fighting the good fight. Make the best of it, or at least whatever you can make of it. Who knows? Maybe things will take a turn for the better.

>>7062145
It's too bad Serelaxin was never approved. Since it mimics relaxin-2, it hypothetically could give someone childbearing hips by mimicking relaxin levels in pregnant women. There might have even been skeletal reshaping therapies opened up, since it softens the connective tissues in the bones and such. Oh well.

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>>7062369

is there a worse possible sexual orientation (if thats even what it is) than AGP?

I guess I'd rather be this than a pedo but other than that idk

>>7062356
I'd say Im aroused by the idea of feminization in general but Im projecting it on myself.

>>7062369
With female fat distribution you will get fat on the hips and keep the waist slim even if your pelvis is not that wide it will look feminine

>>7062432
Why do you think its so bad?

>>7062316

Being on HRT is certainly better than not. But the difference between them is off HRT, you keep losing and losing until you have nothing left and on HRT, unless you started really early, you just put a stop to the loss and will only gain back a very small portion of what you've lost.

My high school grades were a mess of marks far lower than any of my teachers ever expected of me, I lost two years to NEETdom, failed half my classes of the winter semester, and it will be four years of dedicated studying (read: not depressed enough to not give a shit how low my grades are sinking) before I'll have a job capable of paying for FFS. By that point, I'm worried my face will not heal as well as it could now, so I'll be a hon. There's also the fear that no matter how hard I try and procedures I put myself through, I will never have a body that is acceptably female and that will never get me clocked. I feel like I should just save up $10,000 for my funeral and be done with it.

>>7062341

Yeah, I saw a picture of two pictures put together on imgur. The first was of a guy the day he moved into his dorm room at college at 17 or 18 and the other was the day he moved out. He looked like a boy when he started and a man when he left.

>>7062369

A drug that could potentially widen the hips even after epiphyseal closure you say? I was actually thinking about changing to a chemistry-based major so I can synthesize my own HRT in case online pharmacies are ever unable to sell me HRT, like by federal government interference. But maybe I could synthesize some of this stuff too.

>>7062540
Worrying about your face not healing well from surgery doesn't make any sense unless you're waiting till you're 50 to get it. Wasting 2 years is nothing. There's a solid chance that you won't even need surgery to get an acceptably female body, hormones work wonders, and if you do need it insurance can sometimes help.

>>7062540
It is brave of you to take your fate into your own hands rather than simply accepting it. Don't give up!

>>7062540
I had shit grades in highschool too, drugs have always been the biggest thing holding me back, I hope its not stupid to hope that HRT will cut away the desire (only drinking now). also I'm 4 years from graduating majoring in chemistry

I know there is about a 0% chance I will ever fully pass...I guess its hard to picture what my torso would look like with muscle loss+some boob but my face will never without FFS

should I just not even bother starting? the idea of getting more and more masculine is pretty gross. recently I've noticed more hair on my arms which is really pushing me to just go for it

>>7062452
how many people have you told? not that you like crossdressing, or that you're trans, but that you find it sexually exciting at the thought of becoming a girl?
I feel like its not really something you can "come out" as

>>7062617
No one.
Why do I need to come out to someone? I don't have any significant other, and what does anyone else have to do with this?

>>7062647
I guess, I just feel embarrassed about it I suppose
and the desire to take HRT is probably definitely a negative to my physical health

I dressed up for the first time when I was 12, fantasies at night all the time about being a girl, didn't once watch/read any kind of porn until I was 15. I can't even blame it on porn, my brain is just fucked

>tfw there are people IN THIS VERY THREAD who could transition and be happy but won't because of bullshit reasons and you have to live with being Superman

>>7062684
Do you hate your body?

>>7062711
There are also people who would regret it probably.
>Superman
What?

>>7062711
>tfw one of those people

;_;

>>7062732
I think they mean that they have a body like Superman's so they don't think they would pass if they transitioned.

I agree with their sentiment, though, cut the bullshit and be what makes you happy, people!

>>7062744
Its kind of a big step to make. Especially when you're not 100%.

>>7062732
Given all of the barriers one has to overcome to even start I think people kind of self-select for not screwing themselves over.

>>7062739
DON'T LET YOUR MEMES BE DREAMS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE

>>7062723
yes

>>7062755
Well, if you hate your boy parts a lot, I think its easier to figure yourself out then?

>>7062766
Not that person but I can't really tell whether I hate my body because I'm hideous or because I'm male. I mean, I'd strongly prefer to be a woman but I don't know if this is really dysphoria if that makes sense?

>>7062732
Strong chisled masculine

>>7062775
It does. Maybe you have esteem problems like me.

>>7062778
I don't know...
Find someone who will make you feel cute and feminine then, and love them forever.
There's gotta be people like that in the world.

>>7062766
I wish my balls could be lost in some freak accident so I didn't have to be the one making the decision. there is no question my family would be upset with me. and its not like my life is horrible because of these issues, I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot

>>7062813
No one has time for that anymore

>>7062766
and to add on, only in this last year did I realize how much I not only want the feminine roll in relationships and life in general, but that I actually wish I had a vagina. I don't think I would ever trust surgery for that but it really would be great

Im very grateful for the conversation and all the support. You make me feel less lonely and hopeless, thanks to all of you.

>>7062823
What the hell do people have time for then?
What can be better than making someone you love happy?
Am I a stupid broken romantic?

>>7062845
I see.
Well, I don't know what to tell you, I wouldn't go for surgery either, unless they learn how to transplant fully functional parts.
I'd say try and find a compatible partner, but I suck at that myself, so I guess I'm not much on advice...

>>7062849
This place is good for something sometimes.
You're not alone, hang in there kitty!

>>7062866
I don't come here often but I do appreciate you talking with me

>>7062923
I... You're welcome. Good luck...

>>7062552

I think it's more like 30 than 50. After 30, your body's HGH levels start decreasing which would decrease healing.

I also forgot to mention that I'm a bit worried about my high school reunion. Not in the sense of showing up as the guy who ended up being a tranny, but that I'm ashamed I may not live up to the expectations my peers had of me. Especially since some of them were very smart. At best I'll get my bachelor's at 25.

>>7062578

I wish I had been braver before. But I am trying to improve. I need to get a job and my license. Then I want to get a gym membership or buy my own equipment and try some NBE to boost HRT.

>>7062609

It's just been my depression holding me back, I was pretty "anti-degenerate" so I didn't use any drugs back then. So you're a freshman in chemistry or you're going for a master's with your bachelor's too?

I also have a hard time imagining what my torso would look like without some muscle. That's why I wanted to get an xray done, but now it's too late.

You should start HRT at least.

>>7061323
535
Trust me I went down that rabbit hole. If it were easier to get test I probably would have taken it for a while.
Now I think about it it makes me cringe. I've been self medding hrt for about a year now and still panic that maybe I'm not getting it right. At least I'll have a blood test in a few days..

>>7062881
Bicalutamide shouldn't affect the serum test levels though right
I mean, if you take enough estrogen in addition maybe you will get some lowered test levels but not just from bica

>>7061749
Not really if you're as old as me

>>7061971
Maybe we can alternate between sexy and qt?

>>7062243
I get aroused whenever it gets talked about, like at a therapist or doctor. Although I can't even say it out loud to any so I probably just have some serious issues about it

>>7062369
Oh fuuuuck that would have been a game changer. Why wasn't it approved? I have to look it up

>>7061955
essential blanchardcore t b h

>>7062369
https://www.geopeptides.com/human-relaxin-2-5mg-custom.html

alright so how much of this shit do i mainline to get hipz?

>>7063067
It was rejected by the CHMP due to the much longer response time compared to other similar drugs (it WAS intended to be a heart failure medication), as well as some problems with the methodologies of the study used by the manufacturer. It may get another chance after further data is produced, but for now its axed.

>>7063699
I am not a doctor or an endocrinologist or even a very good carpenter (which is my day job). That said, I'll take a stab at it.

It would be tough to do yourself, because you need to work with extremely small doses. Pregnant women have plasma relaxin levels of around 450 pg/ml, so depending on your height and weight you'd be taking only a few mg at a time.

Digging further, there's a porcine relaxin drug called vitalaxin that has been used to treat fibromyalgia. They use 20 mcg in each capsule, but obviously they aren't trying to literally change someone's skeletal structure so the lower dose is to be expected.

My guess if I was brave enough to try it myself would be taking three 450mcg doses a day (assuming you have 3 liters of blood plasma), one every 8 hours. I'd also inject it since peptides break down in the digestive system and have a hard time absorbing through skin, which means that oral and sublingual options are out. That said, I have no idea about the half life of this stuff in the blood and NO ONE knows what overdosing on this will do to you, so try at your own risk.

>>7063864
how did you reach this guess? i'm going to sift through the references/review on http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sms.12149/full

>>7063912
The first part is just math. 450 pg/ml comes to 450 mcg/l.

The second part was a safe sounding guess based on other things I've taken. 3 doses spaced out over 8 hours a day works for things with short half lives in the blood, so it's a safe place to start (although you'd have to stab yourself a lot). I have no idea what the half life of relaxin in the blood is, so for all i know you could take a single 2,700 mcg dose and not need to take another for 48 hours.

Although, another thing occurs to me. There are several relaxin peptides, so only taking relaxin-2 alone may not be as effective. I have no idea what the ratios between relaxins 1, 2, and 3 are in pregnant women, though, or which ones would be most effective for targeting the hips.

Good luck sifting through research junk.

>>7063065
well I'm at bachelor's at best at 26 :)
you said HRT for 13 months, have you noticed any muscle loss at all?
my interest in the interaction of drugs with the human body I believe is what drove me to chemistry...but wow I know its a bitch to learn

>>7063699
Please don't be reckless..

>>7062817
I feel that a lot. I always get envious when I see my girl friends going out and doing stuff together. I feel left out and I blame it on the fact that I'm so obviously masculine in appearance and behavior because it's all I know.

Meanwhile my guy friends pretty much ignore all my texts and calls except a few specific times a year, preferring to sit around and watch anime or something instead.

>>7062711
I don't think so. The amount of work I would need to start, with doctors and therapists? I'd be old as shit before I could start.
And I'm too tall.

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Why are some trans people so lucky? Fucking kill me.

>>7064689
There are ALTERNATIVE PATHS.

>>7064572
If your car is going to careen off a cliff anyway you might as well try swerving

>>7064852
You can live with small hips Anon.

>>7064875
Don't be so condescending

>>7064914
Sorry. It is just that pumping yourself full of untested chemicals without supervision seems Unwise.

>>7064948
Well it's going to take some research

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What are some safe ways of lowering your IQ? I'm trying to be more of an airhead

>>7065556

You know you could just pretend to be stupid, right? That's what all the smart bimbos who get the maximum payout out of their sugar daddy do.

>>7065556
Do lots of whipits

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>>7065576
What if I get caught? Would my daddy/mommy leave me?

>>7065556
>>7065594
These women are so grotesque..

>>7061981
I had AGP way before that

I remember I watched a film that had a rape in it. I later acted out the rape scene by myself, but I was the one getting raped

>tfw I was a bottom before I even knew what it was

>>7065556
Are you serious?
This shit is getting a bit too fetishy for me...

>>7065665
Kids are weird.

>>7065683
Same here.

>>7065665

Did you think you were straight until you discovered what AGP was? Why did you want to imitate the rape? Did you actually get a boner while watching or acting it out?

>>7066349
I've always liked mtfs and bottoming, so I never thought I was 100% straight

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>>7065556
You can't really, but if you act and feel dumb a lot, and allow yourself to think that way, then it will become natural to be in that state of mind, and easily fall into it when you want.

There are lots of very hot hypnosis files for this kind of thing, though you have to filter out the bad ones, and the ones which include extraneous elements which you don't like or which actively put you off. If you happen to be into hypnosis/mind control/brainwashing in itself then it's even better. I would caution you very strongly against jumping right into hypnosis without understanding it first (and taking things slowly and experimenting), especially since many of the files play themselves off as permanent, or addictive, or any number of other things which are impractical if you don't want to commit to them totally. You can still treat them like fantasy and not be affected by them like that, but it's very possible to "go too deep" and have them affect you more than you want; it's about self-control, and maintaining awareness and the distinction between reality and fantasy.

This probably isn't appropriate for this thread, unless you want to generate discussion or at least post something interesting rather than just requesting things. This is coming from another AGP with this fetish (which I don't think is related to the AGP, or at least not much, but I guess I could talk about if anyone cared).

>>7066912
>or any number of other things which are impractical if you don't want to commit to them totally
I should say "dangerous" here rather than "impractical".

>>7062308
It's the Spiro does it to me too. Very depressing

>>7061955
>psychological, biological (genetic) and environmental

Glad the experts could narrow it down for us, it's not like these are the cause for every behavioural disorder

tfw a guy I knew posted bunch of slutty pics of himself in womens clothes and now everyone calls him crazy

I don't even know what to say

>>7067061
at least we can rule out demons and aliens

>>7067045

I'm on cyproterone, senpai. I had some bad side effects with spironolactone.

How many of you are also attracted to women aside from having AGP? Any of you just have AGP and are unable to get aroused by a woman where you are not her?

If you have gynephilia aside from AGP, why pursue AGP? Does it get in the way of a "normal" relationship?

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>>7066912
>which I don't think is related to the AGP
Not all AGP have a bimbo fetish, probably only a very small amount do, but for a lot of with a bimbo fetish it's directly connect to our AGP

A guy I know keeps posting shit like that on jewbook
I'm pretty sure he's just a massive hon and not just "a man exploring his feminine side" he claims

This AGP shit is driving me crazy, I hate myself so much. I'm taking hormones and don't even know if I want to transition... My parents are going to think that I'm completely nuts, it would also make them really really sad.

I also have a lot of self esteem issues, maybe that's why I'm "trans"?

Do I just need a gf? I'm 27 and never had one because I'm very fat, ugly and have a very small dick, so normal PIV sex wouldn't work...

Killing myself would probably the best, but I can't do this to my parents, they would probably suicide too, I'm everything they have in life...

>>7068224
I wish I could help with this hell anon but I'm in a similar boat

>>7068224
don't put so much responsibility on yourself for other peoples' happiness
it doesn't matter if you transition or not - do the hormones make you feel better (or less worse) than without? then keep taking them. given everything i've read, i don't think just getting a gf is going to solve your problems.

can you pinpoint the reasons why you feel that suicide is probably the best?

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>>7066912
requesting more info on this in general

>>7068517
>don't put so much responsibility on yourself for other peoples' happiness
I know... it's just that my mother (60) is really mentally ill (hardcore depression and probably developing alzheimers) and well, my father (65) isn't any better and he has heart problems. They both grew up in the post-war era (I'm German) and are very conservative. I just don't know... me transitioning would probably completely destroy them. I really really hate it that I'm supposed to be their only source of happiness, this makes me just sick. When I was a kid I was really hoping that my parents would die in a car accident or just disappear. Probably because they gave me food instead of real love. (they love me, but never showed it) Hell, but I can't even take care for myself, my apartment is completely neglected.

>it doesn't matter if you transition or not
Well, it somehow matters.
But then it doesn't because.. meh, I just don't know.

>do the hormones make you feel better (or less worse) than without?
I kinda feel the same after ~6 months of HRT (self med)
I like some changes though like having no more erections, breast growth, body hair thinning out, different body odor and so on.

>given everything i've read, i don't think just getting a gf is going to solve your problems.
I know..
Relationships are going to be a huge problem for me, if I ever get the chance to date someone.

>can you pinpoint the reasons why you feel that suicide is probably the best?
I'm alone with everything, I don't have a single friend irl because I'm deeply ashamed of myself. As I said, I'm really fat (BMI 47.2), I'm missing 6 teeth and have a bad breath because I'm too afraid to go to the dentist. I'm also a NEET and never worked a day in my life, I'm living off of welfare and have a really hard time finding a job. I tried therapy (also landed in the closed ward once) and AD's, but they never worked and made my life worse.

Ugh, there are tons of other reasons I could list here...
Life is a nightmare.

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>>7061981
Successful transitioner reporting for duty.

AGP was something that faded over time for me. At first, gender bender fantasies were still the only thing that turned me on, and possibly even got stronger at first due to the fact that I was finally living out some of my fantasies. But with time, those thoughts gradually turned into fantasies of having relatively vanilla sex with men, and I also gained a few new (but distinct) fetishes. Recently, I've also started to fantasize about having sex with women as well, although in a different way than a straight guy would.

Nowadays, at a little over 1 year HRT, I still get a little turned on at AGP thoughts, and I can't deny that it has probably influenced my sexuality post transition, but I have largely moved on from those feelings. Going full time, getting a boyfriend, and being stealth definitely helped.

>I should be seeing a therapist soon, do I tell them about AGP?

I know you want help dealing with your AGP feelings, but I would strongly advise against this. Most of the psychiatric community is still very much stuck in gatekeeping, and this will only make things harder for you if you want to continue pursuing transition.

>>7066912
I would actually be really interested in you talking about that anon. I have a mind control fetish along with a living doll fetish, and I suspect they may be related to my AGP since both grew stronger in the absence of having AGP. Also, I remember some anon posting a link to a reddit transition timeline where the AGP also described being interested in hypnosis.

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>>7068689
Honestly, get a job. It sounds stupid but work makes everything better for me. It will give you more purpose, people will be relying on you to do your job, and it feels really satisfying.

Since the first men walked on the earth, we have a natural call to work. Work and toil gives us purpose, and it has always been the way we have survived. Return to work, to your roots, and at the very very least you'll have a distraction and a little extra cash

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>>7068870

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>>7068884
umm okay lol

>>7068845
not anyone you replied to but reading your post turned me on, thinking about being full time, stealth, with a boyfriend who loves me...

fuck this shit seriously this happens every time a successful transitioner posts about their journey

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>>7069000
No worries anon, I used to get turned on by stories like that too. I think it's quite natural really, especially when you think of AGP as being a repression mechanism for transgender desires. I remember someone in the last thread saying many AGPs were shamed for being feminine when they were younger (I was shamed as well), so it makes sense that those feelings would become subconscious and result in someone secretively being turned on by and wanting to have their sex changed.

Actually doing sexual stuff as a girl with my boyfriend turns me on more than those stories ever did though, which seems to indicate that identifying with them was just a way for me to try and express who I always was deep down.

>>7069062
I dunno, I don't feel like my heart agrees with a lot of this post. Like I don't remember being ashamed for being feminine as a kid, nor do I remember being feminine or wanting to be feminine. It doesn't feel like something I blocked out either as I remember my youth very vividly.

>>7068845
oh my god reddit trans boards are cancer

>>7068689
so they emotionally neglected you and you feel responsible for making sure they feel good? this is not healthy. they raised you and you clearly didn't turn into a high octane success man. this isn't your fault.

>kinda feel the same after ~6 months of HRT (self med)
>I like some changes though like having no more erections, breast growth, body hair thinning out, different body odor and so on.
yes this is how i felt roughly. look into it. why do you continue to take them?

as far as the fat, can you try to go on a night walk a few times a week? just once? you don't have to see anybody. it's very relaxing for the NEET mind and can help you lose weight. alternatively is it possible for you to eat less food? 47 is quite fat, but i'm guessing you aren't much more 150kg or so, which is not hopeless

what are your fears regarding the dentist, specifically?

>>7067926
>How many of you are also attracted to women aside from having AGP?
I am. Also to the rare man.

>If you have gynephilia aside from AGP, why pursue AGP? Does it get in the way of a "normal" relationship?
It's more that I don't feel comfortable doing anything romantic as a man. It might be an AGP+trans kind of deal though. I don't really understand myself. It is just that I have a lot of other fetishes too and none of them dominate my life like this. I don't spend weeks doing nothing but being sad that I don't answer some prerequisite of pursuing them while not even thinking of pursuing them. I DO spend weeks going >tfw will never be a woman why live without thinking of the sexual side of it. On the other hand it is hard to take this side of yourself seriously when you sometimes get aroused by completely innocent thoughts having to do with womanhood. I cringe every time I think about me having done that.

>>7068224
I'm sorry. Be strong. Suicide isn't an answer. You can work things out.
Are you seeing a therapist? If not you really, really should.

>>7067926
What do you mean "pursue AGP", it just happens, I don't pursue it.
I love women though.

>>7067926
I desire to have sex with females as a male and heavily suffer AGP

>>7068224
then stop being fat, you dumb lazy fuck

I just got done masturbated and I don't think I can bear living as anything

>>7069904
I mean sexual fantasies, masturbation, crossdressing etc.

>>7069884
>>7069904
>>7069906
Would it be possible for you to sate all your sexual urges with a woman and not let AGP dominate you, if you wanted to?

As for me I feel kind of emotionally attracted to women but I'm not really aroused by the idea of sex, not even by penis in my vagina sex, all though the idea of having a vagina in that scenario does turn me on.

I was hoping that if I can indulge my attraction to girls a bit more, I can completely lay my agp to the side, as I have no identity issues and have no intention of becoming a hon. In fact, my last bout of anxiety and depression was about me fearing that my agp will not let me live as a normal male.

>>7069958
Fantasies and masturbation just happens to me

I do love touching women everywhere, and initial penetration, but I have a lot of trouble finishing, unless I fantasize about being a girl in the process.
Maybe because I'm also a porn and cap addict.

>>7069951
Go on nofap, it helps.

>>7069958
I love meeting people that are just like me here.

>>7069974
NoFap increases testosterone in the body right? So wouldn't nofap intensify an AGP? Or am I just thinking this because I fap too much?

>>7069974
tried that for about 8 months before, never helped

i'm already on hormones a year. i feel completely trapped between this horrifying existence and nonexistence. there is no escape.

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>>7069986
It does, but only the first week, then it drops to normal.
Your head will feel a lot clearer though, and you will sleep better(I did).

>>7069997
Have you talked to professionals? When I exhausted all my options (couldn't even kill myself), I went to psychologists and support groups.

>>7070002
yes i see a therapist. doesn't matter when anything that bothers you is inherently unfixable

>>7070020
Well, if its unfixable, you have to learn how to live with it.

>>7070027
wow if only i'd thought of that!

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>>7069000 >>7068845
>being full time, stealth, with a boyfriend who loves me...
>tfw this will never happen to you

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>>7070045

>>7068845
Which was the thread you linked in that reddit post?

>>7069884
>On the other hand it is hard to take this side of yourself seriously when you sometimes get aroused by completely innocent thoughts having to do with womanhood.
It is hard, but you still should. The feelings are still real and still need to be addressed. Being a creepy girl who gets turned on by her own femininity but is pretty happy with herself otherwise is probably better than being a creepy guy who's turned on by the idea of being that girl (and wants to be her regardless) and hates himself.

> I DO spend weeks going >tfw will never be a woman why live without thinking of the sexual side of it
That's pretty strong evidence for being trans (alongside being AGP)

>>7070628
how do I stop wanting it and return to being a normal man with manly desires? should I get on roids?

>>7070628
Thanks for responding. For the record
>>7070679
isn't me.

I know you're right but all it takes for me to feel otherwise is getting turned on by something particularly cringe-worthy. I can never believe in myself for long. I always slide back to denial.

>>7070679
>how do I stop wanting it and return to being a normal man with manly desires?
Anon if there was a way I'm pretty sure a whole lot of people here would've tried it already.

>should I get on roids?
I hope you're joking.

>>7070777
I believe there are people who got over it and got back to normal.
I always have phases and maybe they are hormone-dependent. There were times when I didnt have any distress or dysphoria even if I would self insert as female masturbating or sometimes imagined myself as my gf when I had one, those were only brief moments and then I'd get back to 'normal'.

100% sure Im not trans. Ive spent some time with MtFs, had a trans friend and I'm completely different and normally I dont want to be a woman.

>>7070777
I was in denial about being AGP well after I'd stopped being in denial about being trans. It is perceived as more shameful (even though being trans isn't exactly socially acceptable either). Really, it's no different from any other problem you can't control; it's just that society (and by extension you) sees it as weird, and it has the extra taboo because it's sexual on top of that. The truth is that it exists alongside gender dysphoria and it makes those feelings no less impactful or "real". I don't know; I think you've just got to say "fuck it" and just transition anyway. The denial is going to be there on some level for a long time, maybe forever, but if you know that it's not correct (which you do) then it's pretty much just there to stop you from being happy and achieving what you want.

Normally I'd recommend you try your best to make an appointment with a therapist just to force yourself to get started (after which it will be easier), but talking about AGP to a therapist you want to allow you HRT is risky. You could hide the GP from them but that would limit its usefulness and make it harder. What do you think your course of action should be to further explore your feelings and overcome or at least circumvent the denial? Considering you have for example, dysphoric "femboys" on HRT who are totally happy with looking female and being thought of as such, you really do only need to circumvent it.

>>7070583
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/5788347

I wonder if the author is still around at all, or even knows that this new gen exists.

>>7070679
Ive started playing soccer and have been detered from thinking about transitioning almost entirely. My AGP is still there but its more like i jerk off and its gone until the next day.

Id recommend getting into competitive sports. It really (as gay as this sounds) connected me with my masculinity to the point were the idea of being a girl seems dull and boring.

>>7070000
>Only for the first week
Quads-kun, I couldn't even go a few days...

>>7070159
>danganronpa.png

>>7070939
Every time I read that story I get both jealous and aroused a lot. Fuck I get really scared

>>7071069
Really? Like you don't feel like you're repressing your feelings, but that they're just gone?

>>7070939
Oh right I remember it, and it gets me aroused too, even more than porn
JUST

I wonder whether Zinnia Jones reads this thread. That would be really cool. I saw her screencap and tweet one of my posts about autogynephilia in another legbutt thread.

>see cute girl
>think "fuck I wish I was her"
>tranny thoughts start flooding back in
>come back to /lgbt/
>start looking at tranny bullshit like HRT again for a short period
>come to senses and realise how degenerate it all is and how ugly 99% of trannies are and how much work it really is
>go back to my dudebro NEET life of jerking off and watching TV all day and repress tranny bullshit thoughts

why was the intelligent designer so cruel to not allow a gender select option

>>7071582
You're only getting uglier the longer you wait. In fact, waiting is the sole thing that causes that problem; you can't complain when you're deliberately feeding it.

>>7071192
>I couldn't even go a few days
You have a problem, work on it.
There are people who can just quit, but I have to work hard to get rid of my addiction.
Its pretty serious chemically, has some parallels with other substance addictions.

>>7071705
Its not like a magical pill exists.

>>7064696

Lucky to look like idubbbz and beavis' cousin??

>>7071911
Come on Anon they look really nice.

>>7070883
Daily reminder that considering AGP is a sexual orientation, it has its own >tfw no gf HNNNNNG phase, which come and go as it does normally. Took me a while to figure it out, but me feeling like wanting to become a tranny feels exactly the same as me not being able to get a girl I liked in college, cause she was taken and I was fat. Its the same exact shit, and its absolutetly not a reason to ruin yourself.

>>7072366
I can't tell if you're telling them to transition or not to transition

>>7072506
I'm saying that AGP can cause a false positive regarding tranny feelings, as a person can develop a romantic attraction to AGP fantasies, that feel like something other then sex, but its no different then craving for a partner, its still just agp. In that case, no, its not a sufficient cause for transition.

>>7072542
What is your solution for AGP then? Asking for myself because I have what you describe but have not started HRT or anything

>>7072366
>>7072542
These posts make a lot of sense to me and I'm also interested in this >>7072557

>>7070883
>I believe there are people who got over it and got back to normal.
Can you direct me to any accounts by such people? I've never heard of anyone like that. I've heard of people who weren't even dysphoric in the first place, but not of people who got over it after experiencing it.

>>7072366
>>7072542
I think that the whole "literally in love with yourself as a woman" line of thought is all kinds of ridiculous and stems from poor terminology.

>>7072366
don't you enjoy the feeling of being feminine as well?
I've always liked feeling physically small and submissive, and not really even in a sexual way

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>>7072557
You can get it into a level where it has no meaning outside of fapping, as some have said in this thread. I've had it at that level for years.

You gotta figure out what feeds the infatuation and obsession and what starves it for you. Then starve it to the point where its just a fetish. Then try to get with a girl so you can get your emotional needs met.

Dont justify your own narcisism and focus on caring for the people around you and what you surrendering to the fetish can do to them.

Idk about your specifics but here are some. If you're asking yourself what if I'm actually female, remember that that study that proves trans women have male brains was apparently done on straight late transitioners, meaning most likely AGP's. There's more on that on Kate Brown's site. If you weren't obviously girly in your mind as a child, its possible that you're not really a girl, and its likely that you have a male brain.

You might also feel scared from taking a masculine role in relationship and feel that it might be easier to just become a grill and have someone care for you and cuddle you, instead of you having to feel confident and make the woman feel safe. That could be just narcissitic faggotry and you just need to get over it, and understand that you cant always get what you want.

Whatever your specifics are, again, its like romantic attraction, it can be built up and built down. Look back and see what drives what either way, and work on getting it down.

>>7072691
Someone getting over it would not broadcast to the world that he ever had it. t: agp

>>7072705
Nigga we know what we feel. Its just literally HNGGGGGG

>>7072711
Depending on the phase, normally no. However after I obsessed over tranny stuff for a while I dida bit. Once I cut myself from what caused the obsession, it just trickled down to not desiring that.

>>7072734
Okay, question, why are you here if you aren't hurting over this? Maybe it's the whole crying face you posted and the tone but it doesn't sound like you're happy with yourself.

If I want to transition only because my childhood dream was to be a bride in a beautiful wedding dress, should I do it?

Samefag here.

>>7072734
Like, okay
>try to get with a girl so you can get your emotional needs met.
>Dont justify your own narcisism and focus on caring for the people around you and what you surrendering to the fetish can do to them.
>That could be just narcissitic faggotry and you just need to get over it, and understand that you cant always get what you want.

Sounds like hardcore repression. Get a beard you pretend to love, don't transition because this is just a narcissistic whim that will hurt those around you, get over your "faggotry" and man up because you can't always get what you want.

>>7072756
Posted the wojak because I've been refering to r9k memes. I'm here becuase I dropped a glance at lgbt and decided to comment a bit, will likely leave for months after the thread dies. As for happiness, my agp isnt a source of my woes, right now I'm bummed that I didnt manage to get back to college.

When its fully under control, this is how agp works:
>live normal life
>browse dank memes
>watch some movies
>see cute girl
>feel funny there
>o roight I should fap
>open some britney spears video where she's really cute
>imagine you're her for however long it takes you to ejaculate
>go back to memes as if nothing happened

>>7072781
Well, it works if you're just agp.

>>7072734
I'm sure I have a male brain, but I'm also sure that my brain is wired to enjoy feeling feminine and it always will. getting more physically masculine sounds pretty gross to me, noticeable increase in my arm hair is what is pushing me to transition

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>>7072756

It sounds like rationalizations hons tell themselves for years before coming out.

>>7072767

Don't let your dreams be memes.

>>7072792
Hey, I can't tell you what works for you and what doesn't but it sure doesn't read like it is working. You sound like someone trying to convince themselves why they can't follow through on what they want and are a bit bitter about it.

>You can't always get what you want in life and beside pursuing this would be selfish toward those around you so just accept fate

>>7072811
The neat thing about skittles is that they also affect brain structure. You can literally make yourself neurologically intersexed. Pretty cool.

>>7072820
Actually that bit is from my religion, philosophy and ideology, I belive it firmly about everything in life. Maybe to someone who doesnt share that worldview it may seem wrong, but cummy induced fantasies really rank low on the list of my principles. People asked me how to overcome it, and I answered truely, that one of the most necessary parts of overcoming anything is taking a stoic approach and not being a bitch about it. Its part of growing up. Otherwise there's a high chance that you're overblowing the issue

>>7072876
>Actually that bit is from my religion, philosophy and ideology, I belive it firmly about everything in life. Maybe to someone who doesnt share that worldview it may seem wrong, but cummy induced fantasies really rank low on the list of my principles. People asked me how to overcome it, and I answered truely, that one of the most necessary parts of overcoming anything is taking a stoic approach and not being a bitch about it. Its part of growing up. Otherwise there's a high chance that you're overblowing the issue

>mfw thinking this way as a middle schooler stopped me from being a prepubescent transitioner

Give it up, senpai. I know where this road leads and there's nothing but misery there.

>>7064698
Like?

>>7072820

Also that was refering specifically to an example, where one wants to be a girl in a relationship becuase its perceived as easier, that one wants to be cuddled rather then to cuddle, which is a real thing that both I and people I talked too experienced, It works itself nicely into a fantasy. But once you realise that you're just too scared to take the confident role, it really goes away.

>>7072898
Did you transition then?

>>7072876
I find it strange, yes. I don't agree with Nietzsche on everything but I much prefer his idea that the essence of life, of happiness, is working toward seeing your wishes realized. It is one thing if you are able to make yourself no longer wish something, but to me it sounds like you just buried that wish because it is a wish that you feel you cannot pursue.

If you have a wish you can get reasonably close to without compromising your moral values then it seems to me that you owe it to yourself to try and make it a reality.

>>7072903
If you're very, very sure of what you want and are cautious enough to follow instructions properly then you can self med. Much quicker.

>>7072783
I had my agp under control for some years but it came back and it came back stronger. When I had a tight lock on my agp I was depressed and a more angry person. I'd rather be some tranny than that guy again.

>>7068224
Lose weight and you'll be able to see your dick again. It should help your self esteem, too. Why the fuck you didn't work on that before starting hormones is beyond me.

>>7071069
Tried this.
It just made me want to play as a girl.

>>7069884
>It's more that I don't feel comfortable doing anything romantic as a man
>I DO spend weeks going >tfw will never be a woman why live without thinking of the sexual side of it.
>you sometimes get aroused by completely innocent thoughts having to do with womanhood.
Same.

>>7072767
You can be a bride in a wedding dress whether you're male or female bodied

>>7072734
>starve it to where it is just a fetish
I can see that, my constant masturbation habits are a powerful force in making me feel that way, so the solution is to reduce fap sessions.

>Narcisissm
I feel this affects a lot of people too, but then there's destroying yourself due to denying your own needs.

>Scared of taking on the masculine role
Only scared of not being able to satisfy a woman due to my AGP being pretty much the only thing that sexually satisfies me.

>Someone getting over it would not broadcast it to the world
This makes a lot of sense, same with detransitioners. There's no reason to say they're normal people to the world. I'm not in these threads when my AGP isn't playing a big part of my life for instance since I don't see the point. I still keep coming back though.

This being said my AGP still has me by the balls and I'm still considering transitioning. Even if I'm leaning towards "no" right now I may lean towards yes again soon and then no again and so on

>>7071513
Link to tweet?

>>7071705
But if you've already crossed the threshold then what really do you lose by trying to hold out?

>>7072945
>When I had a tight lock on my agp I was depressed and a more angry person.
If you were depressed from the AGP then you didnt have a lock on it. Also its always strongest when it comes back, its nature of any addictions.
>I can see that, my constant masturbation habits are a powerful force in making me feel that way, so the solution is to reduce fap sessions.
Coming here probably also makes it stronger, consider this thread is just porn in prose for us.
>I feel this affects a lot of people too, but then there's destroying yourself due to denying your own needs.
Not denying, overcoming. And if you indulge it, you might erase yourself as a person.
>Only scared of not being able to satisfy a woman due to my AGP being pretty much the only thing that sexually satisfies me.
Yeah that's one side to it. Not a proof that you're a woman though, or that you should become one for pleasure.

>same with detransitioners.
One funny thing about overcomers and detransitioners, that if they came to places like this, everyone and their mother would tell them to transtion, that they have real gender disphoria, that they're really girls and that they should do it. But if they overcome/detransition, those same people are gonna say that they weren't really trans anyway. What ever detransitioner describes is exactly what would get you set on a path to trannyhood here, yet afterwards its just "u was just a fetishist". Its really top kek to me

>>7073099
>>7073022
Also response to this

>>7072734
>That could be just narcissitic faggotry and you just need to get over it, and understand that you cant always get what you want.

your solution is literally "just man up and get over it"

>>7073110
sure it is, if you just ingore the rest of the post

>>7073099
I was depressed because I lost a part of myself, not because I didn't have a hold on agp. Prior to me quiting I would engage with my femininity be it looking at clothes, shaving, or agp related stories. I belive the sexual nature of agp infects other parts of our lives since humans are very sexual creatures.

>>7073022
it would actually be better if you masturbate to non-AGP fantasies, feels good man

>>7073120
yeah the rest of the post is based on the presumption that agps arent trans and that any trans feelings are just >tfw no gf

>Took me a while to figure it out, but me feeling like wanting to become a tranny feels exactly the same as me not being able to get a girl I liked in college

idk how this can possibly feel the same

How do you know if you're agp or just a turbofaggot?
I kind of fap to tg erotica occasionally and I've always kind of been into weird stuff like wedding dresses and makeup and stuff for some reason even though I know that sounds bizarre.
The only thing is I don't really like the concept of just being an ugly dude in a dress.

Like imagining myself as a girl has basically been my prime masturbating fantasy and I'd kind of like to stop but it seems like it's the only thing that gets me off anymore. Like I used to barely ever even watch porn. Though I've always did fantasize about guys fucking me but that's cause I usually always fap with dildos.

>>7073152
If it is the same feeling, not getting the girl still pales in comparison

I started taking herbal testosterone blockers about a year ago
at first I was kind of scared so I would only take 1 or 2 a day, began gradually bumping it up to 3-4
gradually I started noticing changes, nipples different, feeling really tired all the time, different body smell, way lower libido
went about a month or longer without jacking off (was daily before that) and when I finally did cum was just dripping out non stop wayyy different than it used to be

since starting this I've gotten a much stronger desire to actually go on estrogen and get real drugs

its not just a fetish anymore, I actually think I will enjoy my life as a female more, even though I know it will make almost everything much more difficult

>>7073152
Its exactly the same kind of emotional longing. Some agp are trans, but some agps are just men with a different sexuality. And every sexaulity has can go from a sexual to an emotional need for someone/something. Its the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you think about hrt.

>>7073187
Well it depends on how strong or weak getting your gynephilia is. But its the same kind of feeling for some people.

>>7072909

>Did you transition then?

I'm still in transition.

>>7073128
I don't know how to masturbate to non-AGP, it's honestly all I've ever known.

>>7073152
I think what he's getting at is "you aren't really trans because your feelings come and go like oh god I need a girl and when you do have a girl you don't feel much different."

>>7073190
I'm was on just bica which doesn't kill your dick so you still have to wack it but less often. I too like the changes brought with lower testosterone, pardon the tiredness, and have recently been taking small amounts of estrogen and I fee like a happier/better person on it.

>>7073234
>don't know how to masturbate to non-AGP.
I don't even know my sexuality, I tried to jerk off to gay and straight porn before but its never done it for me.

>>7073234
try to crystallize what you find actually attractive about people

I looked at every body part until I realized I like fat booty and cock.

I just look for images of women with nice asses and masturbate to that. It feels good to do that because I've masturbated to images of trannies for years. Now I'm actually getting turned on by really vanilla shit and I love it.

>>7073187
yeah i'd give up the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship to be able to live a normal life as a woman

>>7073205
so how is it different when you are agp and trans compared to when you are agp and merely think you are trans from the emotional longing? i dont get butterflies when i think about hrt and i dont think too many people do.

given the prevalence of agp among transwomen vs cismen i think dysphoric anons should give serious consideration to the possibility that they are trans. otherwise they should know that trying to repress for the rest of their lives might lead to them becoming hons or suicide when they are in their middle age which is much more damaging to the people around them.

>>7073234
so he's saying agp goes away when you get a gf?

>>7073190
How tired do you get exactly?

>>7073250
AGP doesn't go away when you get a gf

you will just imagine that she has a dick and she's penetrating your vagina (I'm serious, that's how I got off having sex with a gf)

>>7073250
He's saying AGP makes the trans feelings over-romanticized, much like those who say "tfw no gf"

>>7073282
Yeah this.

>>7073250
I dont know how the true trans side of it feels. I dont feel like I am or want to be a woman, but I'm sexually attracted to this stuff, and I get the feeling of wanting to escalate so can I get more aroused. Getting a gf doesnt work of you're not attracted to girls. But some belive that can be develeped, and its probably true as you can fetishize anything.

>>7073262
when I laid down at night it felt like I had been working out all day, pretty tired

>>7073245
the main reason I stopped taking them was the tiredness (although it hasn't really gone away) does the estrogen help?
I thought a big reason for it is not having enough sex-hormone in the body

>>7073205
>e feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you think about hrt.
not really like that for me at all

>>7073343
Do you think you were already relatively low T to begin with?
I'm pretty sure I'm already fairly low test so maybe it won't affect me as much if I'm used to it.
I kind of want to test it out and see what happens, sounds kind of neat with the cumming thing lol

>>7073394
I'm pretty positive I was not low test to begin with
the cumming thing actually scared me
I'm definitely not trying to discourage you, many of the effects were positive

>>7073447
What was scary about it? Did it not feel like a normal "jizzing" sensation or whatever?

>>7073513
it actually kind of did, it wasn't like an outright orgasm but it did feel good
I just wasn't expecting it and it made me wonder what was happening to my body

>>7073553
What were you taking exactly?
Cause stuff like saw palmetto is used by people who have issues urinating and it's supposed to 'relax' the urethra and such so that might have been the cause

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>>7073593

>>7073620
That doesn't seem like it would do much. Isn't the only thing in there with estrogenic effects the chaste tree extract?

I know people say herbals probably don't do a lot to begin with but I was always under the impression that if they were to do anything you'd need something like saw palmetto and pueraria mirifica in huge doses since they at least act as antiandrogens as well as mimic estrogen.

>>7073683
there's no estrogen-like herbs in it at all, its only to reduce testosterone
people are always saying herbals don't work, all I know is taking these certainly had an effect on me. probably took longer than with real drugs, but around 10 months and there was no question at all

>>7073343
I don't really know, I'm not as tired as I used to be thats for sure. Since I started casually taking estrogen I've felt happier which may have helped with lingering depression which in the past I know has made me tired.

Jesus. Y'all need to transition already.

>>7073718
You sure it wasn't just placebo at that point? 12 months is a pretty long time to have to wait to see an effect occur.
I've taken st. johns wort for anxiety/depression and you do have to wait for it to kick in, but only like 3-4 weeks.

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Does liking anime cause AGP? I feel like it has for me.

>>7064696
I see we follow the same people on twitter :P

Not sure if trans or "Dysphoria" is a mix of AGP and trying to conform a male body to female body shape...

I'm on HRT and I think it's helped... I fucking hated having T because it made me MORE AGP... Oh my god I hate this and I don't know what to do :(

>>7074106
It really depends.

Liking anime is usually something someone who doesn't fit in society does, both because it's not culturally relevant, since you're not japanese, and because it's for children, and you're not one.

So it's understandable that someone who's a total fuckup failure would look at pretty anime girls who are idealized versions of a female and want to be like them. Hell, maybe what they really want is just to feel "wanted" by someone, and believe becoming a woman would do that.

>>7074206
Anime is not for children though, unless you're watching shit like Doraemon and Sazae-san

>>7074206
Kinda besides the point, but anime isn't for children, that's just trying to impart america's view on animation onto a completely different market. Anime has a much wider demographic in general than american cartoons, but the big moneymaker is older teenagers and young adults, they're the ones buying all the merch.

>>7074222
>older teenagers
So children

>young adults
Pretty much children

I rest my case

>>7074234
If you think they're for children just because they're animated then you're insulting the animation medium as a whole in which case I kindly implore you to fuck off

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>>7074206
That makes a lot of sense, actually. Doesn't make me want to be a hot chick any less, though.

>>7071192
It's like they've been replaced by the thought of being the fastest, most skilled, and defeating all of my future adversaries. It's this desire to compete that forces the thoughts out as little obstacles in the way of my improvement as a player. I'm taking it very seriously though, but i do think that this warrior mentality has given me a reason to live as a dude that i didn't have before.

However if you've had transexual symptoms such as a desire to be a girl from an early age, hating your genitals etc-- i wouldn't recommend this strategy at all. From what i've heard people who aren't solely AGP have a lot of trouble fixing their issues without transitioning.

But you could try.

>>7072985
Kek, yeah the day after i started playing i bought girl's shorts and fantasized about playing in a women's team.
I like developing new fantasies though lol

>>7074037
I had noticed some effects before then but at around 10 months it was very obvious. I can absolutely guarantee it wasn't a placebo. I'm not like looking to be believed, but the correct herbs in enough concentration really can have an effect
body odor I can remember being one of the first things I noticed

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I've spent hours customizing my laptop to look as girly as possible.
Is this AGP?

>>7074106
If it makes you feel any better I never watched anime and I still turned out this way

>>7074106
only if your obsessed with it

>>7074263
Good news is I'm solely AGP. I'm assuming your shit went away because you got more exercise and thus generated the stuff making you feel positive which you associated with masculinity.

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>>7074263
Girl's athletic shorts are actually awesome.

>>7074278
Well vitex (chasteberry) does have a bit of research on it, but I've heard the whole "reduction of sex drive" thing is just a myth. Monks apparently eat it to lower their sex drives.
It's at least not a phytoestrogen like pueraria mirifica and whatnot which don't have any proof that they do anything. Plus the internet is flooded with fake information about PM and the majority of it for sale isn't even the actual plant.

I can't find too much info on it regarding the effects on men. Some sites say it causes testicular atrophy, lower sperm counts, and decreased testosterone but have no research to back it up.
But the information is pretty contradictory. Like if it releases prolactin at high doses that would indeed cause much of the above to happen to men, but there are studies saying vitex is useful for treating high levels of prolactin. But I guess it depends how much you take. Hypoprolactinemia does cause androgen deficiency in men though.

I could maybe see it having some effects beyond placebo depending on how much you took. I suppose it would be good if you want to shrink your balls a bit lol

>>7073099
>If you were depressed from the AGP then you didnt have a lock on it.
>Not denying, overcoming. And if you indulge it, you might erase yourself as a person.
>..that you should become one for pleasure.
This is an extremely warped view of the condition. Some of the recent posts here really worry me.

>>7071705
It's more than likely my tranny thoughts stem from extreme social isolation and spending 12 hours a day every single day on 4chan spiraling down the rabbit hole that is degenerate porn.

When your entire life revolves around escaping into fantasies it becomes impossible to make large life changing decisions based on your desires.

I don't feel any real dysphoria. I like being a guy a lot of the time. It's not like I'm out living a successful life and these desires are invading my mind out of the blue. Being an insane recluse came first, then the desire to be a girl, that I'm sure of.

>>7075203
Off yourself, cis-scum.

>>7075207
Compelling argument, reddit.

i feel sick
i don't know if i'm trans anymore

>>7075295
is it only sex?

>>7073343
Low sex hormone levels cause the tiredness. It will go away with oestrogen (or testosterone).

>>7075307
what do you mean?

>>7075295
Why? Tell us about yourself.

>>7075315
never happened to me

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tfw you get on hrt knowing you're gonna make it

>>7075343
Good luck! Action always requires more courage than passivity but passivity rarely solves problems. Stay determined.

>>7075338
fuck
i don't even have the energy to write it out any more. i just feel disgusting and disgusted with myself. i don't think i am a girl or can be one, but i can't deal with getting manlier because it will just be disgusting. agp has mostly gone but hasn't been replaced with anything but i still masturbate compulsively. not frequently but still
i've told a therapist about a bunch of shit and a doctor that i was trans and i just feel gross and disgusting. i can't deal with living or dying

>>7075406
my god it's like you took the words from my mind...
this is exactly how i feel....

>>7075203
Almost every tranny I know is exactly this and I am scared for them.

>>7075434
I don't know. That post made me feel better, I feel like I can get through this, if its just in the head, I can deal with it.

>>7075406
>>7075427
I'm sorry. This must be incredibly hard but you must not give in to despair. This is the crucial moment where you sink or swim. Swim! Hold on. Fight. Do what you must to be happy.

You speak of being a girl.. I used to think of things in similar terms. To be honest I sometimes still do, in moments of weakness. When I'm lucid, though, there is one thing I know: it does not matter what you are. What matters is what makes you happy. If transitioning will make you happy and you don't have to hurt anyone to be happy then that's a reasonable path to take. There is no purpose in this world but the one we make for ourselves. No proper path to walk. Only what we desire and what we're willing to do to get it. Even if you can't get exactly what you desire you can come pretty close to it, and that might be enough.

What would it take for you to be happy?

>>7075442
I'm legit concerned. They say they're happy and absolutely certain they are girls on the inside though so I have no room to say anything. One's even been on mones for years so I guess they really are trans...as for the rest they've either just started or are closeted.

>>7075203
>>7075434
I think you're putting the cart before the horse. A lot of people here experienced these emotions since they were children, and grew up isolated as a result.

>>7075459
Do you think it is pleasant going about life as an unpassing transsexual? There are plenty of reasons for why one might want to interact with the general populace as little as possible.

>>7075451
You say that like there are things that will make me happy and for whatever reason I'm just choosing not to do them

>>7075461
My first trans thought was AGP at the age of 10 but I didn't think much of it then. There was one point where I said I was gonna be a girl when I was 13 and then just naturally forgot I said that. Then crossdressing desires, then meeting trans people and being jealous of their coming out. Then I had a nervous breakdown a few years back over things including trans thoughts, then everything got sorted out later that year and a few years later I'm still a guy and replying to your post.

I isolated myself as a teenager because my friends were all like 30 minutes away plus due to going to different schools. I got to socialize like once a week. Same goes for college only I socialized a little more often and the reason for isolation was work.

Those are my experiences and here I dunno why I typed them but everyone's different is I think the point I was making. It's late I'm tired.

>>7075465
You have to figure out what you want before you pursue it. But do not dwaddle in despair as life passes you by. You must find your Hope and pursue it against all Despair

>>7075461
I never really once thought about tranny thoughts until I started to see them on 4chan when I was around 13.

>>7075487
Then you're not trans.

>>7075488
I'm well aware I'm not biologically trans.

>>7075492
There isn't any other kind of trans.

>>7075451
>>7075477
Different anon.
Found these posts really motivational, so thank you.
I sort of think like that, but you put that into words a lot better than it is in my head.

>>7075477
useless

>>7075488
bullshit

>>7075494
So if I take hormones, get laser, and start dressing like a girl I'm not a tranny?

You realise this is /agpg/, right?

>>7075465
There is, for sure, something that will make you happy. You need to figure out what that thing is, then think of what you can do to achieve it. Think, then act. Do not accept. Do not let things unfold while you are paralyzed. Act.

>>7075477
Thank you for sharing. It is always helpful to hear about the experiences of people in the same boat, even if theirs are somewhat different.

Not to be blunt, but are you happy now? Is this something that really no longer occupies your mind?

>>7075487
13 is around puberty, which is fairly typical for AGP.

>>7075498
You told me a story where you were talking about bullshit. I pointed out that that doesn't make you trans. Saying stupid bullshit and coming online and finding dank memes interesting decades after you were born does not make you trans.

I'm not interested in what thread this is. Only pedos make threads, so I don't obey their "threadly rules."

>>7075500
Except when it's not, which is always.

>>7075501
>>7075505
Are you the same drive-by shitposter that shows up once in a while in order to try and convince people they can't be trans?

>>7075501
Thanks for making this easy on me by outing yourself as a shit-poster so early in the conversation with your incoherent babble.

>>7075500
Puberty is irrelevant. It's the exposure to "trap" shit at an early age that we're talking about.

>>7075516
There ARE trolls here. Anime certainly doesn't turn you gay. There are also a lot of genuine transsexuals here who you are hurting by insisting that transsexuals can't experience cross-gender arousal.

http://genderanalysis.net/2016/04/alice-dreger-autogynephilia-and-the-misrepresentation-of-trans-sexualities-book-review-galileos-middle-finger/
" In a study of hundreds of trans women, sexual arousal associated with dressing in feminine attire was reported by 49–78% of those who only dressed this way in private – but this decreased to 8–11% among trans women who publicly lived as women all the time (Nuttbrock, Bockting, Rosenblum, Mason, & Hwahng, 2011). This explains the tendency for sexual fantasies of oneself as a woman to fade after trans women come out and transition. When expressing one’s gender is limited to sexual contexts, it becomes closely associated with sexual arousal – and when one’s gender becomes the backdrop to everyday life outside of sex, it’s no longer inherently sexually interesting. Similarly, there’s not necessarily as much of a need to fantasize about having a woman’s body once you actually do have a woman’s body."

>>7075526
Quit lying, cis infection. I never once said trans people aren't real, it's just you saying that over and over. That's why you keep doing the Blanchard dank.

Guess what? Trans people are allowed to feel arousal too. Your Jesus says they're not allowed to, but he can eat shit. :)

>>7075501
This is one of the most autistic posts I've seen on /lgbt/ in awhile. Impressive.

Wow, what happened to the thread

>>7075543
It ceased to be an echo chamber for trolls, and instead got blessed by my anti-dank bizarro universe meme posts. :)

>>7075543
just ignore it

>>7075530
I strongly, strongly dislike Blanchard. I tried to get this thread to use some other term for this phenomenon. Cross-gender arousal, FEFs, whatever. The community at large seems to refuse to do so.

This thread is, by and large, a support group for questioning individuals who experience these fantasies, with many experiencing dysphoria alongside them. It is necessary because the rest of the board will just relentlessly mock you for discussing, say, the self doubt you experience due to being aroused by crossdressing. We're here to tell you that you can still be trans. Like most gens it often gets raided by trolls, who argue otherwise, but what can you do?

I get the sense that you're trying to help but I don't think we're actually enemies. What can I do to convince you of this?

>>7075499
>There is, for sure, something that will make you happy.
Why? Right now all you're saying is bee urself-tier "advice"

>>7075543
desu this incarnation of the thread is all kinds of awful. Might be an influx of new posters, might be a covert raid.

>>7075567
You strongly, strongly love Blanchard. That's why you push his dog shit memes every single day, Mr. Jesus Christ reborn Living Dog Shit Messiah. :)

>>7075569
Why do you assume that absolutely nothing in this world can make you happy? That seems unreasonable. Humans, generally speaking, are capable of happiness.

>Right now all you're saying is bee urself-tier "advice"
I can't tell you what to do because I don't know what you want out of life. I can only tell you that you must figure this out and act on it because there is nothing worse than inaction. Even trying and failing is preferable.

>>7075571
Do you even what a pedo

>>7075575
It's the short meme.

>>7075573
How am I pushing his shit? I just linked an article debunking him.

>Jeebus
I'm the Sartre guy mate.

>>7075578
I don't understand what you're trying to say.

>>7075583
You were trying to post some bullshit that would "get into people's heads" and "plant the seeds of evil and self-doubt" and make them hurt themselves, but you wanted to do it in 2 or 3 posts, instead of "the long meme", where you slowly build up to that sort of epic HABBENING™ over the course of hundreds of billions of posts.

>>7075591
Huh? I was trying to help them. Self doubt? I told them there is hope. That they can be happy. Evil? I told them to pursue what makes them happy so long as it hurts no one else.

>>7075594
Fuck your bullshit. All LGBT people should hurt as many Christians as they need to to get their rights.

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>>7075582

thanks for responding to shitposting and killing the thread prematurely i guess

>>7075601
I don't understand. What about my post, where I told people that they should transition if it makes them happy, regardless of everything else, makes you think that I'm trying to hurt these people?

Is there nothing I can say to convince you I want to help trans people?

>>7075604
Half of the thread was shitposting. I think this person might actually be trying to do good, despite them mistaking us for evil. Lets try to prove otherwise.

>>7075612
I would think trans, of all people, would know the problems of not knowing what they are, instead of being huge close minded biggots

>>7075619
Okay, that's just over the top, no one is going to take this seriously.

>>7075619
How is telling people that they can be trans, that it is okay to experience cross-gender arousal, that they should transition if it makes them happpy, making kids kill themselves?

>>7075635
Encyclopedia *Dramatica

>>7075623
I'm sorry for letting you down Anon. Here's why I'm trying: a while back I saw a bunch of fuckers spam hurtful threads and this poster, with their distinct style, effectively harassed those people into stopping. Perhaps this is an imitator but if not I think that they mean well.

>>7075628
You trolls alternate the "come play with me you can trust me!" memes with the "lel kill yourself" trollposts. Also you were playing the Concerned Citizen™ with your Blanchardposting.

>>7075643
These are different people saying different things. I'm trying to help people. There are people who are trying to hurt them. Should I stop trying to do good because others do evil? This site is a net loss for most of the people who come here but you need to keep in mind that some trans people *only* come here. If they can't get help here they won't get it elsewhere, at least until prodded to go and get help.

>ywn never be a pretty girl
>ywn brush your long hair while looking at yourself in the mirror and honestly be able to say "I look beautiful today."
>ywn pick out a dress to wear to school

JDIMSA

>>7075642
What...

>>7074263
That cheered me up, I really need to fix my life and occupy myself with some physical activity hobby.
>bought girl's shorts and fantasized about playing in a women's team
awwww

>>7076134
Imagine you were gay. Would occupying yourself stop you from being gay? Even if you go for the whole "AGP is an orientation" thing Homosexuality is also an orientation.

Playing football isn't going to turn anyone straight.

>>7076141
First of all you cant compare something you were born with and acquired fetish. I'm not trans.
Second, the problem is it turned into unhealthy obsession that affects my entire life and gives me distress and destroys my personality.

Playing football isn't going to turn anyone straight. But it might help you find a hot bf and be happy

>>7076171
>First of all you cant compare something you were born with and acquired fetish.
Given that AGP tends to appear at the onset of sexual puberty and then stick around for life we're not at all sure it is a normal sexual fetish. If something erupts the moment you have a sexualtiy then that, to me, hints that it is at least partially innate.

>Second, the problem is it turned into unhealthy obsession that affects my entire life and gives me distress and destroys my personality.
What kind of a fetish does that? Can you name another?

>>7076201
It's not innate at least it's different for different people. If you imply that all agp are trans, than why are not all trans agp?
And I used to live with it being only a sex fantasy, not an obsession,

>What kind of a fetish does that? Can you name another?
Anything that turns into obsession can do that. The problem with AGP is how it conflicts with your self-identity. I need to go back to enjoying being a man.

>>7068845
For me the "bimbo look", basically isn't something which I'm really interested in, at least in itself; it can turn me on, but it's either because it implies the elements which do turn me on on their own (body modification, mind control, loss of intelligence), or enhances them if they're already explicit.

Mind control is my absolute biggest fetish; I find it hotter than anything else, it has some part in most of my sexual fantasies, and literally one of my earliest memories is playing at being mind controlled (and there were many other memories that in retrospect made it clear I had the fetish even before I was aware of it or of sex in general). It's only grown over time. I guess you could say AGP is really my biggest fetish since that affects my life more, considering I have gender dysphoria and am transitioning, but the AGP is barely directly motivating my transition if at all (mostly it's the dysphoria, and the fact that I genuinely identify as a girl), and I don't really understand the relationship between the AGP and the dysphoria (how much it has caused it). Beyond that, the sexual arousal from the AGP is much weaker than from the mind control. Certainly, I would still transition if the AGP wasn't there but the dysphoria was.

The loss of intelligence is comforting to me. I love the idea of being happy and carefree because you don't have to think, and don't want to think, and just don't think. It's okay if you sound dumb, or don't know something, or you get something wrong; you're just a happy, vacant bimbo, and that's okay. I feel a lot of pressure to be intelligent, and my intelligence has become important to my identity. When I was younger I was one of the smartest kids in school, and my mother really pushed that; she made it very clear that she thought of me as intelligent and had high expectations of me, and did a lot of extracurricular teaching which put a lot of pressure on me.

>>7076171
I can tell you for me, without any doubt, that AGP wasn't "acquired", or at least I did nothing myself to acquire it

I crossdressed for the first time when I was 12 with old clothes my sister left in her room, I would lay in bed at night and fantasize about being a girl, not even masturbating, just fantasizing

the first time I ever watched porn/orgasmed I was 15 and sometime after that I started reading trans stories and getting off to them

I could have ignored it and maybe it somewhat would have went away, but all of my first sexual thoughts were about it with no influence from porn

>>7076321
It made me pretty egotistical about it, especially since I was a weird literally autistic kid with few friends or social skills and didn't have much else to hang onto. Beyond just the pressure to be intelligent (and related to it, really), I fear failure and disappointing others. In general I'm very insecure with myself.

Right now I'm failing my education because of being unable to deal with the pressure of it combined with gender dysphoria and all the other shit that's going on in my life. I crave to find someone who I don't have to be smart for, who can do all the hard thinking for me, and who would love me for who I am despite that. Someone I can trust and be comfortable around. My life could be reduced to simple desires, with no complex thoughts to bother me, and no lasting worries beyond making sure I'm a good girl and I please them. Also there's the fact that my mind is empty and easily manipulated; if I have so few thoughts of my own it would be wonderfully easy to put some nice thoughts in there for me to have. I like to fantasise that I'd resist at first, but eventually with enough conditioning (including outright brainwashing) I'd come to accept it and realise it was what I'd really wanted all along; in a way that parallels the experience of having to hide these feelings from the world and only indulge in them in private (and not as deeply as I'd like). It also parallels being trans in a similar fashion, which I suppose gives it deeper emotional significance.

>>7076327
There is the femininity I guess, but the main part of it that appeals to me doesn't necessarily include that. It's hard to distinguish the comfort from being dumb from the comfort of being female/feminine. If I were more comfortable with myself I would act and feel more feminine, and being female/feminine makes me more comfortable. So, when I'm dumber, I'm more feminine too. I don't think the persona I adopt or idealise is excessively feminine even though it is more so than normal; if I were cis it would be similar, and it's more like "the real me" than the closeted, self-hating "man" that I present to the world. When I look at erotica (including hypnosis files) which contain caricaturish femininity they tend to turn me off and make me uncomfortable; it just seems to forced, and I guess "impure", for lack of a better word. It distracts from or diminishes the aspect which most appeals to me, which is being comfortable and carefree and true to yourself.

I'm into living dolls too. It combines elements of mind control, body modification, depersonalisation. I'm pretty sure I developed this fetish specifically partly as a result of trauma from watching horror movies featuring creepy and murderous animated dolls at too young an age. The desire for femininity is more definitively present here. Porcelain dolls are my favourite; they're usually the type in the movies, but more importantly they're just so beautiful and elegant and pure. They're perfect and feminine, and wonderfully mindless, and I want to be just like them. It appeals in a lot of the same ways as being dumb does, with not having to worry, but it also includes the physical element; it provides an escape from my disgusting and imperfect body.

I didn't quite realise how deep-seated this all was until I wrote it out. I still don't really understand how it relates to my being trans/AGP. And I feel like I've dug myself even deeper with needing to satisfy this fetish now.

>>7076305
I didn't have any AGP thoughts until around 20 years old, although I've always been submissive sexually. I'm 25 now and it has gotten a lot worse over the past year/year and a half. Now it's pretty much all I think about as far as sex goes.

>>7076305
>It's not innate at least it's different for different people. If you imply that all agp are trans, than why are not all trans agp?
I don't think all AGPs are trans or vice versa. I do think that AGP might be partially innate regardless.

>And I used to live with it being only a sex fantasy, not an obsession
It slowly getting worse - whether you term 'it' the obsession or dysphoria - is a common part of the narrative.

>Anything that turns into obsession can do that. The problem with AGP is how it conflicts with your self-identity. I need to go back to enjoying being a man.
I've never heard of anyone behaving like this over, say, a latex fetish. People don't go insane over their inability to turn their skin into latex.

>>7076323
You just dont know what affected you exactly, what if you had never put on those clothes, what if you hadn't have a sister?
My first fetish was bondage/selfbondage, and I have no idea how I got it, I was into it long before puberty when I had no concept of sexuality at all. I loved to play games that involved tying up with jupmprope in kindergarten. I'm pretty sure its impossible to 'be born' with that. But I dont know how I acquired it.

>>7076356
Interesting. Is it just a sex thing or do you feel it influencing other aspects of your life? If the former then that suggests some very interesting things.

>>7076379
I'm honestly trying to figure that out myself. It's mostly sexual I think. However, sometimes when I look at pictures of women I'd like to look like or see women wearing clothes that I'd like to wear I start feeling excited in a way that doesn't feel sexual. It's more like this warm feeling inside about how nice it would be to be seen as a beautiful woman wearing these clothes and everything.

Those initial feelings usually lead to sexual thoughts eventually though so it may just be muted sexual excitement.

>>7076373
I get what you're saying. The common idea is that we pick up fetishes during childhood but I think it is actually quite unclear why some people pick up some fetishes and not others despite having similar experiences. It is not that every person who developed a certain fetish had the same childhood experiences, yes? Or even remotely similar ones! Some factor about us must influence how we react to those stimuli. In that way I don't think we can call these things fully innate nor fully acquired. Is that sensible or am I rambling again?

>>7076413
Cool. Not to deny your experience but you're the first person I've met here who didn't experience anything like this during childhood or late puberty at most.

>>7076373
I already had the desire to put on the clothes, and if they weren't available I would be shocked if I wouldn't have fantasized about it at the age I did anyway

but I get what you're saying. I did blame it on my childhood and the way I was raised (cruel father)...but then I started seeing other people in this thread blame it on totally unrelated things which makes me wonder how much is genetic and how much is environmental (and obviously the mix of the two)

if I was born with the same brain, but in totally different circumstances, would I still have AGP? my guess is yes

>>7076441
It's fine really. When I was 20 it was like for the first time a voice in my head went "You know you've been watching all of these pretty girls all your life. But wouldn't it be nice if you were the pretty girl?" and after that I haven't been able to let go of that thought.

>>7076327
>my mother really pushed that; she made it very clear that she thought of me as intelligent and had high expectations of me
>I fear failure and disappointing others. In general I'm very insecure with myself.

Same thing. Parents expectations and demand is a cruel thing.

>>7076441
For me it didn't hit hard until adult years. It was more of occasional thing or just fantasy or selfinsert as a girl and I didnt put much importance on it.

>>7076457 >>7076434
For sure there is some predisposition.

>>7076573
thats so hard for me to imagine, it not manifesting until the adult years
I have pretty much always considered it my primary orientation

>>7075499
>Are you happy now?
I'm alright I suppose one step at a time
>Is this really something that no longer occupies your mind?
I'm here aren't I?

>>7076305
>The problem with AGP is how it conflicts with your self-identity
Finally someone says what I say. I never had issues being male until AGP started growing and growing in my life