/agpg/ - AGP general

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>feel horny wanting to cd and finger myself
>read these threads
>suddenly feel sad and hopeless
>no longer horny

6'5 (106) cm. Is it still possible to be an agp?

>>7010132
196 cm*

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>>7010132
AGP is in your head

>>7010142
Sorry meant to say if i can still crossdress

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>>7009752
>tfw you're trans-asian

>>7010149
well yes you can still crossdress if you want to but you're going to be a lot taller than most cis women

>>7010164
Yeah. I guess, i always wanted to dress like a girl, in real life i still want to be a man

>>7010170
well if you're just doing it for yourself your height doesn't really matter. I would say go for it.

>>7010042

What makes you feel sad?

>>7010156
you look like jimin lmao

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>>7010156
Iktf

>>7010042
anyway you probably would have felt bad after it

>>7011786
Not that anon but whenever I did it I never really felt bad it was more kind of amusement at the strangeness and hilarity of the situation. This was before I actually knew what trans was though it could be different now.

My girlfriend knows I'm AGP because she's one of the only people I've ever trusted enough to tell them about it. She knew it before we ever got together too, and she's very willing to work with it now that we are (she actually brought me lingerie to wear the first time we had sex). The problem is, I'm still fantasizing about being a girl when we have sex, because I can't get off otherwise. The last time we did it, I started thinking of some doujin I had read where the more the guy had sex, the more feminine he'd get, and it was the only way I could finish. She'd be working away at giving me oral and I'd be thinking about how I'd look as a girl just so she wouldn't be there all day.

It makes me feel horrible. I honestly don't hate being a man in day to day life, but it's near-impossible for me to enjoy sex without thinking about what it would be like to not be one, and it bothers the shit out of me that I'm being so selfish by not thinking about her.

I don't know what I'm expecting from saying this here, but I just needed to vent about it to someone and for once I really don't want that person to be her.

>>7012169
maybe she doesn't think about you when she gets off. does it really matter? if your relationship is good otherwise what is the difference if you just have to think a bit agp to have a fulfilling sex life?

>>7010042
>tfw the thread is so crummy it is making people too sad to masturbate

>>7012169
Sorry to hear that. Be well.

>>7012169
I get that feel. You should probably try talking to a doctor about it, because they could try to see what makes you like so much agp stuff.
If your fetish wasn't that strong, I would recommend to just fap to normal things, even though it's less appalling

>>7012324
Well I made the thread because I wanted - for once - to be able to talk to people who feel like me about those things

>>7013438
What is it about these threads that make you sad and hopeless?

>>7013438
>Well I made the thread because I wanted - for once - to be able to talk to people who feel like me about those things
I didn't mean to insult you. This thread has factually helped a lot of people, regardless of how much I might joke otherwise. I just find it to be utterly draining at times. The same few rude people endlessly trumpet their outdated theories and I feel compelled to argue with them time after time because no one else will.

>>7013438
>You should probably try talking to a doctor about it, because they could try to see what makes you like so much agp stuff.
I agree with this completely, except don't talk to just a regular doctor, make sure you go to someone who says they have experience helping transgender people. The average doctor at best has barely any knowledge or trans people and at worst is dismissive of the concept.

>>7012227
Sex is about intimacy. If she wasn't thinking about me and I wasn't thinking about her, then we're not a couple, we're good friends with benefits, and the relationship is pretty much doomed. I don't want that.

>>7014575
I'm not sure I can really bring myself to do that. I dissociate hard when I think about trans stuff in any more serious context than AGP, because I do not want to be that nor do I need that extra heaping of bullshit on my life, especially living in the South, which I unironically love and don't want to leave.

>>7015758
you could imagine yourself as a girl in a lesbian couple maybe?

>>7015758
intimacy goes far beyond sex dude
claiming that the relationship is doomed is overdramatic

>>7016095
I'm trying to, but sex makes it difficult to keep that fantasy going.

>>7016329
Well, obviously, but sex in and of itself is a very intimate thing. If you're completely mentally detached from your partner then instead of coming closer together, it doesn't bode well at all for anyone.

Any games out there with good character editors that I can use to design my ideal female form and play as her? I don't know if this will help my AGP or just make it worse, but I want to try anyway.

>>7017464
https://www.blackdesertonline.com/events/ccm/

>>7017473
That looks great. Thanks Anon.

>>7013985
no problem
those theories don't really work irl anyway, as there is so much different cases

>>7017464
This will worsen your AGP, but it feels so good

>>7013513
I think you didn't quote the right guy, but since you're stuck with agp for life, it feels good not to keep it in yourself
and I believe that, somehow, we'll be to help each others out

So I guess I've got AGP then? I've had this fetish for a long time, but It's starting to be less of a fetish and more of a requesite thing for me to get off. Starting to question whether or not it means I'm trans or if I should transition. I personally think it'd be a bad idea to transition if i want a career in my planned field, which is coming pretty soon, but the thoughts of being female are pretty insistent, and happen on a daily basis. I really don't know what to do.

>>7019393
I'm AGP but I think you're trans.

>>7019400
Maybe.
The thing is, though, I'm not really sure how to self-identify if that really is the case or not. On top of that, if I am indeed trans, I have no idea what that ends up meaning for me- where to go from here?
For starters, I live in BFN and I seriously doubt there are professionals within 100 miles I could talk to.

>>7019530
>not really sure how to self-identify
Same anon, but in my case I think I may just be a feminine male

>>7019887
Feminine men don't have frequent thoughts of being female

>>7019928
I said nothing of being female. I related to anon not being able to self-identify. I want to be me and my image of me just happens to have female traits.

>Probably trans (on HRT a while)
>Strong AGP (causes a lot of distress)

I feel like I'm loosing my mind

>no therapist
>fear talking to one about this in case I get taken off HRT.

I'm not going to harm myself or anything but I often fantasize about cutting my penis off because I hate being aroused

I so strongly associate feelings of arousal with shame and sadness I'd rather have no sexuality than this.


What the hell do I do... It's not even that I have high T (in uk and blocker used here is lupron (very very effective at supressing T)

ah god kill me :(

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>>7020238
there's no getting off blanchard's wild ride

>>7019393
If you want to understand why you are where you are I think it is helpful to look at how you got to where you are. When did it all start? How did it manifest? How did it evolve over time? Were you a gender-conforming child? How did your feelings about your own gender evolve over time?

>>7020238
IIRC there are some countries where doctors can't really take you off HRT. Check whether this applies to yours and go see a therapist if that's the case.

There was one poster in this thread who said it took them around a year to stop getting aroused by AGP stuff after medically and socially transitioning. You might need more time.. and also to socially transition, but I can't promise that will definitely help since while the majority are rid of AGP by the process a small portion continues to experience it.

>>7021858
Thanks- as corny as it sounds, that actually did help me learn a bit about myself.

I still have no idea where to go from here, though.
I'm not gonna self-medicate, but I'm very curious about HRT.
I have no idea how to find a therapist I can actually see that specializes in this kind of thing (and won't push me into treatment if I'm not actually trans), especially since I'm a poor college student- I went to the counseling center on my campus, but I think noone here knows how to help. Especially since I got the undergrad intern psych.

>>7020452
I hopped off for a while, but now Im back cause nothing else feels good

>>7022350
Sorry, I can't help you much with that. The trans help thread might know more about finding a good therapist. Just don't mention the whole AGP thing if you want any useful responses. Even here we're lepers.

>>7018861

>>7022390
Thanks, Anon.

>>7022390
>Just don't mention the whole AGP thing if you want any useful responses
fuck that attitude t b h

>>7010156
hot

>>7012169
think about how her clit feels when you're playing with it

I self-insert as my partner to get horny

>>7022408
Glad to be of help. It is good to see you try to confront the problem right away instead of avoiding it. Hold on to this courage and, one way or another, I'm sure you'll have your answers soon. Good luck.

>>7022414
That's how it is. If you tell most-anyone on this board that you're an AGP they'll think you're nothing but a pervert set on living out his fetish. The only way out of this mess is to challenge this meme whenever it appears. I try to do so but few others do the same.

>>7022390
>Just don't mention the whole AGP thing if you want any useful responses. Even here we're lepers
That or the following happens
>NO YOU'RE JUST A NORMAL WOMAN WITH A FETISH

>AGP DOESN'T EXIST EVEN THOUGH THOUSANDS OF TRANS PEOPLE REPORT HAVING IT

>BLANCHARD IS A HACK NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE

etc etc etc...

>>7022550
Blanchard IS a hack though..

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My dick gets diamonds every time I read this bored and idk why, is it agp or a different mental illness? It's usually in threads like /femgen/ or anything that talks about feminization

>>7013985
I like reading it, Anon. It distracts me.

>>7023343
Sounds pretty agp though thats not to say you cant have any other mental illness/whatever thingy going on

Why are we hated so much. We have no control of the way we are and I hate it more than anyone else.

I wish there was a cure. but even with no testosterone in my body It's still there. It just hurts so much and this is as good as it gets...

:(

>>7025113
m8 if you're already taken hormones just....accept it
there's nothing wrong with it. if you were just a fag instead would you feel constantly bad and avoid ever acting on it because religitards called you a hellbound degenerate?

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>>7023343
I was like that at first - run away! maybe its not too late for you

Is being agp+trans literally the worst fate anyone could suffer?


I can't think of a worse one.

>>7026222
how about just trans? then you can't masturbate to yourself because you're too lonely and incapable of relationships with others
lol
...but maybe it's the agp that caused it so yeah

>>7023343
stop doing that right away
have normal fetishes and live a normal life

>>7025113
It takes some people quite a while to get over it. How long have you been on the skittles?

>>7026222
being hopeless hon is
if you can pass then agp might even be a bonus

case study of a 25+ AGP who would have been an early transitioner if born 10-15 years later
https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/comments/56bo5q/made_a_legit_timeline_this_time_for_one_year_hrt/

>>7026740

I guess I fit this then.

I'm currently 19 and doing my best to ignore everything, so I'll probably kill myself soon or be successful at repressing and end up a hon or suicide later in life.

>>7026515
Like 4 months, But I was on blockers for about 6 months before that (yes I am 18)

>>7026898
Give it some more time. There was another poster in this thread who eventually got over it but it took her more than a year. Actually living as a woman and experiencing femininity as a normal, daily thing seems to be key to not associating it with sex.

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>>7026866
>currently 19
you are at the age when you can still change many things be it your personality, psyche or physical appearance,
its probably best to do some research and seek qualified help

>>7027014
I guess... Thank you. I swear you're basically the only positive person on the whole website

>>7027308
I don't think so I'm currently in the process of being fucked.

>facial hair is thickening and growing more rapidly
>have to shave every day and still have beard shadow
>hair on chest and arms used to be thin and now it's getting thicker and darker
>hairline is receding
>basically 100% fucked since I'm masculinizing like this

i don't know why i haven't killed myself yet

>>7027455
you get significantly more masc after like 20-23, you could get on anti DHT like finasteride now even before you go through doctors and get on full HRT - which you should if you are trans, dont waste time, its not too late for you

>>7010156
Those arms give it away

>>7026154
>>7026463
Brahs I'm too far gone but I get too hard too often

>>7027455
At least get on antiandrogens while you're deliberating so you don't regret it later. If you think you're going to kill yourself you have nothing to lose.

>>7028227
I would maybe try since I'm at the end of my rope but I already set a date to try to kill myself (october 26) and there isn't enough time to ship hormones between now and then.

And the worst that could happen is that someone could see the package or find them and my parents work in the medical field so they'd look up what the drug was and know I'm a disgusting tranny faggot.

Can someone tell me the distinction between this and the transbian general?

>tfw agp thoughts are now the only thing that makes me cum

JDIMSA

>>7028374
>tfw only attracted to agp things
I'll never find love kmn

>>7028291

Transbians are transgender women who are lesbian. Most of the people posting in this thread are transwomen of any sexuality who keep denying it.

>>7028291
does transbian general even exist anymore?

>>7026415
So I'm not alone.
Fun.

>>7028287
What makes more sense? Delaying killing yourself to get the thing that might make life worth living for you, or delaying getting happy to die in misery first? If your parents are in the medical industry they probably understand how much this means to you. They'd definitely be more disgusted with you for being dead than being trans.

>>7028287
you should try telling your parents about it before trying to kill yourself, because there is nothing more annoying than being dead

>>7028291
This >>7028559 but people aren't especially trans, it's just a meme people like spouting every time they can.
Anyway it's the only place around here where crossdressers and people with related fetishes can talk together in a (relatively) healthy way.
Anyway it's general and slow enough so that we don't get kicked out of leggbutts.
But don't get me wrong, there are some trans in denial around here (probably)

>>7027014
>>7027405
If they are the poster that I think they are, I still want a Skype or throwaway email or something.

I really think your posts are great desu.

>>7028384

Don't worry, anon. Work hard to become a cute girl and one day love will find you. I'm sure you'll get over your AGP with an appearance that makes you happy and time. Then you'll find a good person and you'll fall in love.

>>7029505
b-but anon I'm not cute nor a girl

>>7028287
It would be Very Silly to kill yourself before you try all other solutions. Death is kind of final. At least give yourself a chance to be happy. Do what you can to grasp at life. You owe yourself that much. Fuck, you owe me that much. I go and give you (you)s and you just kill yourself? That's very ungrateful. These (you)s.. they are an investment. You have a debt to all of the people who care about you. Go and find a way to live.

>>7029192
>AGPs aren't especially trans
Anon, not all AGPs are trans but a whole lot of them are. It's A Thing.

>>7028559
Post of the year desu senpaitachi

>>7030141
> not all AGPs are trans but a whole lot of them are
I think it really depends on your viewpoint, but there's a big tendancy to ignore the possibility that it could just be a fetish, a sexual feel not related to anything else

>>7026222
>Is being agp+trans literally the worst fate anyone could suffer?
>I can't think of a worse one.

any severe physical suffering really
i just came out of a night shift in the hospital, and for me this really puts some things into perspective.
sorry if i'm being a bit heavy handed here.

>>7031168
I think the tendency is actually to try and dismiss it as just a fetish, as seen by the many, many stories told in this thread.

sometimes I think it wouldve been better if I was trans, then I could just be certain to trasnsition but Instead Im neither her not there and wasting my best years doing nothing and being alone

>>7031214
Same here I'm jealous of trans because of that since I don't want to jump into HRT if I'm unsure because that's dumb

>>7031214
If you're not transsexual and this is merely a fetish then you just need to find a woman who is fine with you bringing it to bed. Not easy, but not impossible either. Since you're not transsexual being a man in your daily life should not bother you.

If being a man outside of sexual situations *does* bother you and the above does not sound like a satisfactory solution then you might be transsexual after all.

>>7031216
You shouldn't act overly hastily but let me just say that very few people are really sure. This is usually an educated guess.

>>7031217
How does one bring AGP to bed? I'm not into pegging myself so I dunno how it'd work

>>7031220
Dress up? Roleplaying?

>>7031225
I can ERP but I dunno how appealing all that appeals to me with a woman

>>7031217
I knew one who had a wife and just crossdressed at home and in sex and his wife was into it too, but then he went fulltrans, divorced and started dating a guy.

>>7031277
That reminds me of this old joke: What's the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual?

5 years.

Now this is obviously untrue but it happens often enough to be a cliche.

>>7031213
yeah perhaps
we should just replace this thread with a big sign "GO SEE A THERAPIST !!"

>>7031168
honestly m8 unless they're particularly attached to being a man in general i think most agps would be happier if they were to transition early

>>7031614
transitioning is a social nightmare, I cant even imagine, I already have enough socialization issues and had to get on AD+antianxiety pills to be able to function

I need some advice.

I've been turned on by feminization for a long time, internally debating whether I should pursue these desires.
Now I'm at the point where I consider buying my first female outfit and makeup.

Is this a good idea or will it just go downhill from there?

>>7031958
you'll have some fun at first then you'll want to be a girl full-time

>>7032076
Is this legit?

If so, I'll better stay the fuck away, I don't need those feels in my life.

>>7032091
depends, but its a real possibility, at best it will fuck up your sex/love life, look through the thread

>I've been turned on by feminization for a long time
usually fetishes dont go away, so good luck

>>7031958
More information needed. Buying clothes and makeup means you're going "deeper" into the fetish I guess, but that's not necessarily a bad thing; it doesn't necessarily mean that it will become a problem for you, nor that you will develop dysphoria.

Do you experience anything that could be considered gender dysphoria? Do you want to be female outside of your fantasies or in a non-sexual context, and if so why?

>>7032208
Not really, no. I'm a big guy (for you) at 6'3 and 200lbs, quite athletic and dominant in day to day life.
I never look at myself in the mirror and think I look disgusting.

But there are just some aspects to being female that really excite me.
The male sexuality seems quite unsatisfactory to me. Take the male orgasm for example.
It's just a short burst of positive feeling and it's gone. Female sexuality has something sensual and satisfying about it that I cannot quite describe.

This entire fetish (or whatever it is) only comes up after I haven't cum in a while.
It's like clockwork.
Every time i masturbate, the clock is set back a bit.
I'm just wondering what will become of me if I keep going in this direction.

I think it's possible that indulging in the fetish only increases these strange desires.
If I end up developing actual gender dysphoria from it, I better stay the fuck away for my own sake.
But my curiosity just drives me forward.

Is it time to stop?

>>7032243
I really don't think you can develop dysphoria by indulging a fetish. I do, however, think that you can get to the point where you can only get turned on when indulging the fetish. If you like having sex while not cross-dressing then it might be a good idea to not go further.

>>7032243
It is
if you can desu

>>7031759

But transitioning early is easy mode transition. Are you honestly saying you wouldn't prefer:

>your name change, legal gender reassignment to female, social security update, passport update, birth certificate amendment, and update to school records all handled by your parents
>getting anti-androgens the moment puberty starts and estrogen at 13
>female height (92% of your male height)
>female hips
>female breasts
>soft girl face
>small girl head
>small hands and feet
>parents taking you to get your ears pierced
>parents buying you girls' clothes
>taking pride in your appearance
>being able to have mostly female friends and bond with them
>no doubts about whether you can find someone who will love you despite your AGP
>-maybe- some bullying if you don't transfer schools and your school is transphobic
>going to college with no one being able to tell you're biologically male, nor anyone you meet after that point including employers
>being able to marry as a woman

over:

>not being able to talk to people like a normal person
>taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication
>jerking off to the thought of being a girl and being tortured by it
>talking about jerking off to being a girl with a bunch of strangers who are mostly all similarly miserable over the internet
>disliking your face
>probably a terrible school record and/or history of employment
>terrible prospects for the future
>having to keep this to yourself to seem "normal" and not disappoint your parents

?

I would take the first over the second easily.

>>7032566
not him, I actually don't prefer most of those things, and I was feeling worried that I was trans today.

Thanks anon!

>>7032756

I guess you're welcome then. But what parts did you prefer?

>>7032566
I started taking an anti androgen which lowered my libo and it has actually stopped me from jerking off to these agp thoughts. I believe its helped me a lot desu.

>>7032818
Parts I liked
>female height (92% of your male height)
>female hips
>female breasts
>soft girl face
>small girl head
>being able to marry as a woman

Parts I didn't care about
>going to college with no one being able to tell you're biologically male, nor anyone you meet after that point including employers
>parents taking you to get your ears pierced
>parents buying you girls' clothes
>taking pride in your appearance
>being able to have mostly female friends and bond with them

Things about the second part I don't mind or like:
>My face

Things about the second part that don't apply to me:
>not being able to talk to people like a normal person
>taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication
>probably a terrible school record and/or history of employment
>terrible prospects for the future

Things I don't like in the second part that do apply to me:
>jerking off to the thought of being a girl and being tortured by it
>talking about jerking off to being a girl with a bunch of strangers who are mostly all similarly miserable over the internet
>having to keep this to yourself to seem "normal" and not disappoint your parents

>>7026777
>I'm 27 and questioning
>click this
Well I guess it's a closeted life for me if I am trans.

>>7028287
Hey Anon,

I'm turning 26 on the day you plan to die. Hopefully I will start AAs before then and eventually full HRT. I'm so fucking scared that I'll never pass and at this age time is not on my side. I want to kill myself every time I see my reflection, smell my gross male scent, every time someone perceives me as male, but I haven't given up yet. Why? Because I deserve to be happy, just like you do. I still have a chance, just like you do. Give yourself that chance for hope and happiness, you can do it.

Sincerely,
Fellow exit-bag candidate

>>7033694
I ended up calming down and now I'm not planning to do it.

I was just stressed out and emotional and sad and whenever that happens I make plans to kill myself, which I never follow up on.

I'm thinking of ordering AAs at least and seeing how that is.

>>7034020
I'm glad to hear, Anon. Best of luck c:

>>7034089
I hope you have good luck too anon.

>>7034092
Thank you. We'll get through this :3

>Not a girl nah
>Walk out of shower with my towel on as if it were a dress, I get kind of excited thinking me in a dress feels right
>I'm gonna wear panties and do laundry like I usually do
>Mom wasn't finished hers
>Get an uncontrollable urge to fap at some point
>by "fap" I mean it's like some form of pleasuring my tip whilekeeping my clothes on
>mmm yes this feels so right I'm a girl
>cum
>wait what no I'm not
>Take panties off, put on briefs
>suddenly urge to fap again
>OH GOD YES I AM REALLY A GIRL I SHOULD COME OUT AND TRANSITION WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG
>Finish
>Now just confused after fapping for an hour straight

Much less about "am I a boy or a girl" (though that is still there) but more "why was the fap more intense after I took the panties?"

>>7032566
Personally I didn't want to turn into female. Especially in my early youth.

>reading the rest
oh s-shut up! this triggers me too much

>>7026777
Oh that's sad. Maybe it'll get better with some weightloss?

>>7032566
>parents taking you to get your ears pierced
Why is it always little things like this that trigger me the hardest?

I would love to be a stereotypical Trutrans who knew forever; even if I repressed I still probably would have transitioned earlier than I did now (and people who knew me pre-transiton would be more willing to accept me as a girl regardless).

>>7033242

Why do you say you're not trans if you liked almost everything related to having a female body and the ability to be married as a woman?

You didn't say where you would put:

>your name change, legal gender reassignment to female, social security update, passport update, birth certificate amendment, and update to school records all handled by your parents
>getting anti-androgens the moment puberty starts and estrogen at 13
>small hands and feet
>no doubts about whether you can find someone who will love you despite your AGP
>-maybe- some bullying if you don't transfer schools and your school is transphobic

Though I assume you liked the first two.

>Parts I didn't care about
>parents buying you girls' clothes

But that would include your first set of bras and panties, anon. Imagine going to school in them for the first time. Are you sure you don't care about that? :^)

>>7035801

>Personally I didn't want to turn into female. Especially in my early youth.

I'm not asking whether you would have wanted it then when you were a kid. I'm asking if it wouldn't have been better to have had that happen instead, looking back? Even if you didn't want to be a girl then, do you think your younger self would have adjusted well to living as a girl?

>reading the rest

The rest means everything from the second part?

>>7036627

How old were you when you transitioned? Why do you think the people who knew you pre-transition would be more willing to accept you if you were trutrans?

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What did he mean by this?

>>7036957

>bras and panties, anon. Imagine going to school in them for the first time
OMG STOP

>do you think your younger self would have adjusted well to living as a girl?

I dont know. I've always been terribly emotional and unstable it would've been much worse on female hormones.

The rest - everything. Imagining being a girl or an androgynous qt excites me too much, but then Im always thrown back to harsh reality.

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>>7031759

Like:
>getting anti-androgens the moment puberty starts and estrogen at 13
>female height (92% of your male height)
>female hips
>female breasts
>soft girl face
>small girl head
>small hands and feet
>taking pride in your appearance
>being able to have mostly female friends and bond with them
>no doubts about whether you can find someone who will love you despite your AGP


Don’t care/mind:
>your name change, legal gender reassignment to female, social security update, passport update, birth certificate amendment, and update to school records all handled by your parents
>parents taking you to get your ears pierced
>parents buying you girls' clothes
>-maybe- some bullying if you don't transfer schools and your school is transphobic
>going to college with no one being able to tell you're biologically male, nor anyone you meet after that point including employers
>being able to marry as a woman

Have/afriad of now:
>talking about jerking off to being a girl with a bunch of strangers who are mostly all similarly miserable over the internet
>disliking your face
>disliking your masculine features
>probably a terrible school record and/or history of employment
>terrible prospects for the future
>having to keep this to yourself to seem "normal" and not disappoint your parents

>>7036957
Because it's a fantasy

Want as a man anyways:
>no doubts about whether you can find someone who will love you despite your AGP

Would be nice:
>small hands and feet

Would be okay I guess:
>your name change, legal gender reassignment to female, social security update, passport update, birth certificate amendment, and update to school records all handled by your parents

I dunno not really:
>getting anti-androgens the moment puberty starts and estrogen at 13

Wouldn't want this regardless:
>-maybe- some bullying if you don't transfer schools and your school is transphobic

As for bra and panties, I wore panties to school once and I was so preoccupied with wearing panties I couldn't focus on anything else

>>7037859
Were you brave enough to buy your own or just stole moms?

>>7037968
Stole my sister's

>>7037859

I'm not asking as a sex fantasy though. I'm saying if a magical being gave you the option to change your life by offering to conjure up circumstances wherein your younger self transitioned as a prepubescent with 100% of their parents' approval and support, would you take it or leave it?

How do you think you would be better off dealing with daily life? If this ACTUALLY met this magical being, how do you think you would most be able to live happily?

>>7038815
I am very aware of what you are asking.

I am very unsure of how I would react to it. I liked my youth as it made me who I am today, and re-experiencing my youth as a transgender child would make me a different person

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>make fun of and bully hon on reddit
>they dress as female and shit before even being on hormones
>laugh and ridicule them
> they're starting to look sort of girlish and have not been on hrt for that long


meanwhile I'm a scared faggot that isn't even on hrt or trying to be girly

;_;

>>7039496
that's not even close to hon

>Manage to stop fapping so much and feel fine
>Slip back into fap habits and feel trans again

I am aware of the relation and that I need to stop fapping but fuck if it isn't hard. The more confused I get the more I fap too.

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>>7039814
earlier photo

>>7039924
that doesn't look hon either

just chubby

>>7039930
It looks pretty hon.

[spoiler]Maybe I'm just overly critical because I'm insecure[/spoiler]

>>7039924
not even close to hon

>>7040081
you simply don't understand what makes a hon and have mistakenly conflated it with "not passing" or "not pretty"

>>7031168
All of my fetishes revolve around being a girl. I think that's too much to where it can all be swept away.

>>7032566
Honestly? That sounds great but I'm also deeply disturbed by being turned on by just reading half of this. Plus I think you gotta hate your dick to qualify as trans.

>>7038846
This tbqh

I'm still going to be me, self-perception and the perception by others will hopefully fall in line by transitioning

t. MtF Tomboy

>>7038846
>>7040500
>There are people here who don't despise themselves and wish they could be different people
smdh my senpaitachi

>>7040549
While I may not like my constant gender identity battles I at least like who I am as a person

>>7040555
the existence of a Me is a dumb concept

>>7040555
I'm only happy when I don't remember that I'm me.

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>>7040558
dumbest post of the day

>>7040595
what is this a disgust for ants?

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>>7040595

>>7036957
I was 20, which I know isn't that old but I'm still in a pretty bad shape; I would have been good enough at 18 I think. My dysphoria and AGP only started when I was about 15 (if they started earlier I couldn't tell and it didn't really affect me). I honestly can't tell whether the dysphoria grew from the AGP or they just coexisted or the dysphoria came first and the AGP grew to cope with it or what. Soon enough I knew I was obviously experiencing gender dysphoria (which was crippling me and wasn't going away), and I was in denial about the AGP for much longer. The only thing really holding me back from transitioning was the fact that the dysphoria had started late, which made me worry I must just be crazy or delusional or something (or more accurately gave me an excuse to think that so I wouldn't have to deal with the truth).

Being Trutrans would at least give me the opportunity to go through that phase earlier on, even if I still ended up delaying my transition, so I would have transitioned earlier. It would also have made it much more easy/likely for others to accept me.

>Why do you think the people who knew you pre-transition would be more willing to accept you if you were trutrans?
They've explicitly told me. Both when my dysphoria started and the fact that I didn't act feminine enough when I was younger, and still don't. I don't even have to be Trutrans really; I could still be AGP so long as I started early and at least came across as somewhat feminine. Right now I seem like an autistic weirdo who "decided" they wanted to be a girl out of nowhere.

God forbid anyone find out I'm AGP. That would totally shatter what little acceptance they have.

>>7040419
>Plus I think you gotta hate your dick to qualify as trans.
Definitely not. It's very common not to actually, especially for AGPs.

I'm seriously concerned about the amount of people who hate everything about their body but their dick are not transitioning because they think that's what matters.

>>7041064
When my AGP peaked I wouldn't use my dick and started thinking I wouldve' been better without all my junk, it only gets in the way - which was unthinkable for me before.

>>7009752
how do i get rid of this fetish
it and my masturbation and porn addiction kinda starts to ruin my life

>>7042500
dopamine antagonist

>>7042409
>>7041064
>I'm seriously concerned about the amount of people who hate everything about their body but their dick are not transitioning because they think that's what matters.


I don't necessarily like or want my dick but I don't overly hate it either.

Idk, my dick isn't very big, only like 5/5.5 inches or so and not very thick so it doesn't bother me as much. I don't like how it makes clothes fit badly though. I really hate my testicles though, they're gross and I wish they were gone.

What I feel about my dick is more of a passive disgust, like I don't want it but it doesn't make me break down in tears. It's just like a weird appendage or something. I feel a bit uneasy about it but that's it.

>>7042782

I think that would cause a Parkinson's-like state.

>>7042782
Tbh bica killed my libo (which was only to agp shit anyways) and im happy about it

>>7042817
totally, cant even wear panties

>>7042906
Yeah, with my smaller dick I can tuck it or whatever but my balls are big and I hate them. They just look and feel disgusting.

>>7042849
if it removed AGP I wouldn't want to be on hrt, I mean whats the point of feminization if you no longer enjoy it

what if i like my dick, but sometimes i want a vag so much it hurts

>>7042817
I feel the same way with hating my testicles much more than my penis. They're disgusting all round, and useless other than for making me into more of a man, which I don't want. With my penis it fluctuates between hatred and fetishistic attraction (but still not wanting to have it day-to-day even then).

>National coming out day
>The thought of talking about my gender issues gets me aroused
Come the fuck on

>>7042942
I really should go to a therapist about these feelings but I'm just too ashamed of them.


Or tell a family member but I know they'll say stuff like

>you never acted girly as a kid

Which is because I was too scared to do it because my dad would make fun of me and get mad when I was a little kid (younger than 6 or 7) and acted girly, so I was always too scared/nervous and only did anything remotely girly/feminine in secret.

Be honest AGP
If there was a magic button that would turn you into a good looking woman, full biology, and noone would care, would you?

>>7042990
Of course.

>>7042997
Well, is it just AGP then? Cause I don't think it is.

>>7043040
No it's not just agp, I'm pretty sure I'm trans+agp.

>>7042990
I would've been real qt if I was born a girl!
But I'm reluctant to say 'yes' I dont really mind being male ...most of the time.

>>7041064

I started at 20 too.

>>7042942

This is how I feel about my dick and balls.

>>7042971


>Or tell a family member but I know they'll say stuff like
>you never acted girly as a kid
>Which is because I was too scared to do it because my dad would make fun of me and get mad when I was a little kid (younger than 6 or 7) and acted girly, so I was always too scared/nervous and only did anything remotely girly/feminine in secret.

That actually happened to me. My dad said, "I never saw you as feminine," the night I came out. Of course he didn't with the way he and my mother were. I used to scream like a girl as a child just because I liked it, but my mother told me to scream like a boy. I ignored her in the beginning, but eventually I gave in. There was a time that I was talking with the son of my dad's cousin's wife and for whatever reason I was fixating on the idea of wearing a tutu or doing ballet. I knew that wouldn't be well-received so like an insecure fucktard, I deflected my desire on to my little brother and made jokes that he wanted to wear a tutu. I used to put my towel on my head to imitate long hair and shove a pillow under my shirt to pretend to be pregnant. Minus the retarded hour-long lectures that nigger has given me, I have probably had less than 48 hours of conversation time with him in my entire life as well. How would he know me? How could he know me? I had classmates who thought I was gay, my dad just had no clue because he didn't spend that much time around me.

>>7043056
Yep, I had people that I went to school with think I was gay too. I was and still am so ashamed though every time I learned I was doing something feminine or girly I tried my best to stop it.

I don't even talk normally anymore since I apparently sounded gay/fem when I talked so now I talk in this weird low voice because I'm scared of sounding like a fag.

I spend so much time agonizing over how I act to make sure it's not girly or feminine.

I don't think I'll ever be able to just "be myself" because I'll always be thinking like this and I don't even know what I like because I've spent so long just going with whatever people expect of me to know what I actually want.

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>>7042971
Taking the first step is the hardest but after that not only have you committed to it, but the therapist will be able to work through the anxiety. You wouldn't necessarily have to tell the therapist you want to see them for this kind of issue either; you can make the appointment for an unspecified reason and then work it out as you go along, talking about it as you feel comfortable (with their help). I know the anxiety is still there, but it's important that you get help; especially when you know you need it and you'll be kicking yourself for delaying it later.

Saying you deliberately hid you thoughts and feelings should explain why you never obviously acted that way, though that won't necessarily make them accepting of you; if they care about that kind of thing the chances are they're reluctant to accept you (or actively apposed to it). Regardless, you don't need to justify yourself to them.

>>7042990
Most of the dysphoric and "actually trans" AGPs (of which there are many) would, at least.

>>7042409
Heh. That's how I've always thought of my dick. I'd prefer if it retracted into my body except when I need to pre.

>>7042990
Absolutely.

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What other fetishes/sexual interests do you have anons? How does AGP interact with other parts of your sexuality?

I'm mostly post transition now and have a sort of living doll fantasy, where I'm extremely pretty and basically exist to be cute and make a guy I love feel comfortable. I also have a tendency to focus on myself somewhat somewhat when I'm with my bf, and I'm wondering if both of these things have something to do with AGP.

>>7042990
Of course. What kind of silly question is that?

>>7043553
>What other fetishes/sexual interests do you have anons?
The only one I have that doesn't require me to be a girl, is coming on food and having a girl eat it without knowing, then describing the taste and texture and complimenting it.
It doesn't make much sense.

>>7042927
It didn't remove it per se but lowered the sexual desires caused. I still enjoy being feminine and can still get excited from the thoughts but its not the constant nagging it once was. Plus it made my breasts bud which is hawt imo.

My friends made me agree to wear whatever costume they choose for halloween. Likely going to be a woman's. They think it's a funny joke, I'm secretly thrilled

>>7043914
Gl hiding that boner anon

>>7043914
This lol >>7043931
You better preemptively fap like 10 times before

First time seeing this stuff, but ive always kinda felt like i wanted to be more feminine than i am. I really enjoy being refeted to with female pronouns, honorifics etc. When i masturbate, i often imagine fantasies either all female, or if if includes a guy, im experiencing it from the female perspective. I really wish i could dress up and be cute. But i dont really consider myself trans, nor do i have any dysphoria. Cool to see a different category to check out.

>>7043914
>>7043941
This is an actual fear of mine. Having to dress up by cause of friends/others because I know I'll enjoy it in all the wrong ways. During my younger years I attempted to remove my physical reactions by dressing more hoping I would become immune like others do with poisons.

>>7043914
Or could take pictures in costume with said boner. And maybe share with us yes.

>>7010156
omg you are adorable <3

>>7043985
Haha, if I was confident with showing my body off I would for sure, but it definitely won't be the prettiest show for anyone to watch. not saying I'm an ugly mess but I could be in better shape (working on it!) xD otherwise yup, gotta go for a new fap record to hide the worlds hardest erection

>>7043062
>I don't even know what I like because I've spent so long just going with whatever people expect of me to know what I actually want.
2real5me

>>7043958
"welcome" then

>>7043914
This guy again, another funny story that probably would belong here. (Information so this makes sense, I've got pretty long hair for a guy) so everytime, and I mean everytime without fail, that I go out to a restaurant without any other dudes and just grils, we're greeted as "ladies" or "girls" or anything of the such. Same thing as before, others think it's a funny joke, meanwhile I'm ecstatic.

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>>7043962

>>7042927
That's the thing though, isn't it? A lot of people report being happier afterwards. Almost as if there was another factor involved..

>>7045385
I feel happier being more feminine out of sexual context too, but I dont want to be a woman either. Am I just a narcissistic fag who associates beauty with femineity?

>>7045414
What *do* you want, ideally?

>>7045427
I guess I'd want to be girl in sex, I'd want to be a pretty androgynous boy in normal life. I tried being a normal guy - short haircut, working out, being more aggressive - its just not me I didn't like it.
I've been tempted to get on HRT but just the thought of getting boobs repulses me and I'm afraid of the negative health effects.

>>7045507
>afraid of boobs
Take bica. Or a SERM. there are plenty of options for feminization without boobs. I don't mind boobs I just want to be andro and I go back and forth about hrt on that basis.

>>7046484
pic of your face please?

>>7046484
other anon
>bica
calcium carbonate antacid?
>SERM
so what would they do exactly?

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My misogyny is the primary ting turning me away from transition.

Yea women are cute but theyve done nothing historically and being around them is a drag. All they do is gossip and talk about "muh feels". Plus we're also way stronger. They're good at manipulating though so ill give them that.

But yeh even tho im turned on by the idea ill stay male for now anyways

>>7046521
Bicalutamide
http://pastebin.com/DbDiyytN

>>7046612
Your ignorance is literally ruining your life. Neat.

>>7046612
You are a perfect candidate for KILL YOURSELF.

>>7046612

What >>7046668 said.

Take a look at http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm if you haven't already. I used to look at the physical superiority of the male sex to try to dissuade myself from wanting to be a woman back when I was a middle schooler.

>>7046668
Being a disgusting hon is totally going to fix his life.

>>7046642
>If you are past the age of 24 you will find it very difficult if not impossible to become androgynous.
Ooh... Okay...

>>7046683
Not that person, but that was an interesting read, thanks.

>>7042500
Get some fucking self control and stop looking at porn

>>7042500
Masturbate to straight porn, get normal friends, believe in the norm

>>7046784
its hard...
also i cant get it out of my head not, that when i fap i lose a lot of testosterone... i don't know if i want that or not...

>>7046866
>Masturbate to straight porn
well it is straight technically
>get normal friends
whats a "friend"

>>7042990
I won't
I like myself as a man, and being a woman seems like a lot of trouble.
my agp is only a sexual thing y'see

>>7046875
>well it is straight technically
for now, but it won't later
anyway, just to normal porn, that's what I meant

>whats a "friend"
Here's a big part of the problem
Go out, socialize for god's sake or you'll get lost at one point
I'm really serious about this, I don't know where you're in it, but I wish I knew that before

>>7046869
at one point you need to stop fapping for a period. Just make a no internet week, or something like that and keep your mind occupied on something else, socialize, go see movie, go to museums idk, but there's a way to go

>>7046683
>I used to look at the physical superiority of the male sex to try to dissuade myself from wanting to be a woman
same. I rationalized a lot to stop envying women
but realistically there are many ups and downs of both genders

interesting read, though I def didn't self-identify as a girl in childhood, I hated being mistaken for girl

>>7046892
im kinda lost already, i dont think i ever been not lost

>>7046866
>watch straight porn
>always self-insert as a girl
that's how I turned gay, should have stuck to lesbian!

but seriously I have stopped watching porn, its mostly fantasies and sometimes pretty girls pics

>>7042990
Instantly. I'd settle for plain or unattractive-but-respectable too. Sometimes I wonder whether my desires aren't genuine since I'm not sure I'd agree to become a very ugly woman, wheras I bet most deeply dysphoric individuals would. I'm the very unfortunate combination of hideous and vain.

>>7046959
what you're doing is the same as watching porn
what you need to do is fapping while thinking as a straight man ( which I assume you can, if not than don't listen to me )

>>7046919
I've been lost too
What got me on rails was taoism and philosophy, but that's another story

>>7046987
what is that doesn't do much for me anymore?

>>7046987
Can I be thinking as a straight man that has his mistress dress him as a girl and peg him?

>>7047016
I didn't get what you say, can you reformulate.
Also I'm french, english doesn't seem to be your mother language

>>7047020
NO
it's forbidden

>>7047026
fapping while thinking as a straight man, eg not inserting as a girl, doesn't do much for me

>>7047031
well you're fucked

>>7047034
one way or the other...

>>7046683
Great read, really helped me when I first found it.
It gave me a time line to decide what I am and so far its been working. Hopefully I can get real help from a therapist.

>>7046683
>Not group 1 or 3
Am I really just AGP then? It's hell but a relief

>>7046612
I always project the idea that the person in forced fem porn really does want to be a girl deep down, and they're just being "pushed" (for their own good) rather than truly forced.

>>7046612
Well if you were to transition it's not like your personality would change; you don't have to conform to the things you dislike about women (nor does any woman, for that matter).

>>7046710
Age is a meme. Being older makes you more masculine but it's not a factor in itself; you can be old and look more feminine than someone young.

>>7047147
Estrogen changes your brain A LOT

>>7047158
Yes but it doesn't have to make you into a stereotype. To the extent it is true, most of it is down to socialisation anyway, so it wouldn't apply to you.

What do you think would change specifically? I'm on HRT and I can tell you it hasn't dramatically changed my personality. I'm certainly not more gossipy or anything; I feel happier and calmer, and my sex drive has changed, but I'm still undeniably "me".

>>7047155
its better just forget it...
maybe when im old and dying ill read about magic advancements in science and be happy for people.

>>7047158
nice meme idiot

>>7047205
Why are you reluctant? Holding back from transitioning when it would have turned out okay just because you were frightened will only lead to regret. Ask basically every person who's ever transitioned. Maybe you really shouldn't transition, but pushing it aside and trying not to deal with it is not a good idea.

>>7047220
no, i really shouldn't
im not really in pain because of it, im just lonely

>>7047221
You can at least talk about it here. Maybe it will help. You don't even have to discuss anything; you can just vent if you want.

>>7047228
thanks... it helps just to hear that

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So, I know I kind of already asked this before, but does anyone know anything about how AGP can influence sexuality post transition? I don't really get turned on at AGP stuff anymore, but during sex it is maybe just as important for me to be pretty as it is for the guy to be hot. Also, I gained some new fetishes which are basically all about me being objectified and being sexy/cute in some way.

I'm sorry if this comes across as me spamming the thread or something, but I just really want to know if anyone can offer some insight as to whether AGP can influence sexual desires post transition.

>>7047252
No idea, but I think it is normal to want to be attractive during sex.

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>>7047285
Yeah, you're probably right, but it's super noticeable to me because prior to transitioning I didn't care a whole lot about how I looked during sex. Sure, I wanted to be attractive, but the main reason was because of how others would perceive me. Now, it's like in order to get off I need to look good and also know that my partner thinks I am hot. Come to think of it though, I believe I've heard cis women say similar things, so it could just be an estrogen thing. Also, being more physically involved in sex probably plays a role.

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>>7047333
>>7047285
Wait so... Does this mean I'm experiencing *normal* female sexuality?

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>in denial
>exercise and stretch daily
>start going to bed early (9pm)
>watch a new movie or show every night
>feeling much healthier physically and mentally
>still want breasts now more than ever

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>go to the doctors office
>nurse asks a bunch of questions
>she keeps calling me hon

>>7047209
just do a search effect of sex hormones on brain, dummy

>>7047333
I'm just a guy and I'm like that. I'm not on any hormones or anything, maybe lower than average T but I didn't measure.

>>7047138
that's literally L I T E R A L L Y the point
it's to remove the guilt and shame about wanting to be a girl and the responsibility of acting on it.

>oh no! my coworker heard me badmouthing the bossman I guess I have to let her force me into being a girl to fulfill her weird desire or she will tell the boss! i have no choice at all this is terrible!

>>7048020
>btw this is super straight since a WOMAN is forcing me to dress up like a woman which I absolutely do not want to do
I sold this lie to myself for 8 years.

>>7046612
That picture and text is hotter than I'm comfortable with.

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>last night feel really girly
>dress up, masturbate, cum
>still think of myself as a girl
>omg am I trans
>wake up today feeling nothing of that in a normal 'male' mind state

>>7048020
Not always though. I mean, for AGPs (or even any trans person) sure, that's what it will mean to them, but there are plenty of other angles to it.

I stopped pursuing forced fem porn when I realised that I basically didn't care about the "porn" part at all and was just looking for a way to feel feminine and absorb myself in the idea of getting to be a girl (or getting to be myself I guess).

>>7050364
maybe that's what gender fluid is?
when you feel one way and then you might feel the other way so youre kinda in the middle?
or is that something different? im not up to par on all this stuff

>>7051340
I quit fem porn a while ago but anything fem still gets me aroused albeit not as much

>>7051362
Guess Im tumblrsexual then, I blame it all on my unstable brain maybe it correlates with hormones fluctuations. Should I take some pills to find out for sure haha.
And I would totally love being able to switch gender on a whim, it was my dream for a long time.

>>7051340
Masochistic Emasculation?
BTW Is there any good forced fem porn at all? I've only seen some garbage which was terrible both as femdom and as feminization. And never twink boys which I can associate myself with. Fiction is much better.

>>7043759
I understand it sort of anon.

I want to have a boyfriend and before every meal he'd shoot a big load onto my food and then I'd thank him for it and eat the food.

>travel a lot by car today
>constant gender wars while one part of me is touching myself
>later say fuck it, identify as a girl I am trans
>come out to 1 IRL friend over facebook
>Mixture of confused embarrassed and aroused since
>Try identifying as male but he isn't here at the moment
>Feel weird without my male self around
What do I do? I'm worried

>>7053736
Not sure what you mean by your "male self" not being around. If you mean you can't see yourself as a man now I think you made the right decision. If you literally mean there is a sepperate male identity within your mind then you probably want to talk to a mental health expert about that.

>>7053736
>>7053768
yeah the way you describe it sounds kind of like DID. this isn't necessarily a negative thing though, I know a few people who claim to be plural, meaning they have multiple people or beings or whatever inside their bodies. I know it's pretty weird but they are functional studying and working interacting with others etc so I don't see anything wrong with it.

>>7053827
>>7053768
I mean the part of me that identifies as male. The part of me that is confident in shaking my feminine arousals aside. The part of me that focused on what they have to do and the creative spirit. The part of me that has defined me as a person up onto this point. The man, I'm looking for the self I've been living as up onto this point

This new transgender identity I feel is due to constant arousal, but I can't dispel it. All I can do is fap and focus on my gender identity. I feel powerless. Completely and utterly powerless against myself. I don't want to be a girl, I don't want to be trans, why won't these urges just go away?

>>7053993
Tbh I have no idea what you are saying here

a therapist specializing in sex and gender issues could probably help you
sorry for the shitty generic non-advice

>>7054024
I like being a guy and feel confident as one but the urges to be a girl won't fucking leave. Masturbation is a habit I can't kick and I've fapped 8 times today and I'm scared of those female urges.

>>7054451
Why do they frighten you?

>>7054461
because of how often they make me masturbate and that they hold that kind of power over me. That they want to change who I am even though I am content with that person. Any time I see even a girl wearing a cute outfit at this point the urges all start over again. It's a terrifying experience.

Look you keep arguing that you're content with that person but you've been coming here for weeks telling the same tale. Go see a therapist already because this is clearly not resolving itself.

>>7054468
I was about to say >>7054593
The very fact that you're on here complaining about the person you are - not what you call "who I am," which is only a part of you - being terrifying. Whether you like it or not, the urges to be a girl are a very real part of you.

>>7052681
Hot.
But what I like about it is her/me not knowing. Like, she/I just think it's a regular meal and she/I will ask what the secret ingredient is. We'll insist hard on knowing.
Shock followed by Lewd stuff ensue when he tells me.

>>7053993
The only way is to accept this part of yourself, you need to resolve that internal conflict and you will stop getting distressed and excited over it.
You could get on AAs or something that lowers dopamine activity to stop compulsive masturbation

>>7050364
I felt the same in class last time
> During the night, dreaming
> Suddenly it turns into feminization, agp fantasies etc.
> Wake up
> AGP feels in my mind all day
> Next day I'm fine, everything gone

fuck that life

>>7054468
stop jerking off for a week
might help

>>7056858
I did no fap for a week and a half but i got so horny I started but stuff and now I can't cum without something in my ass

>>7056876
just cut all of it out for a week or two, try it
you don't need fapping and porn and your fetishes to live
im a porn and masturbation addict, its easier when you go on a no fap roll, and without porn life just becomes better.

What's killing me is that I can't even share this with anyone in my life. If I was just depressed I could at least talk about it. If I had some terminal disease I could talk about it. Who the hell is going to understand THIS?

>>7056926
Other degenerates. A small number of open-minded people (of which some will be therapists). Blanchard supporters (though their understanding of it is different to ours).

>>7056926
Maybe it's not the sort of thing you should talk to friends that aren't that close about, but if it's killing you inside then you definitely should talk to people close to you about it. If nothing else, at least talk to a therapist, they can certainly understand.

>>7056911
I would have to go no Internet for a week then which I won't do because I'd just get more depressed

>>7043553
>>7043759
>>7052681

I like to imagine having a boyfriend and that he would eat cold cereal like this. He sits down at the table with a bowl of dry cereal and he tells me to bring the milk. I pull my sleeves off my shoulders, exposing my large, swollen breasts and lean over his bowl. He puts his hand on my breasts and starts milking me. When he's done he spanks my ass and calls me a good girl. I also like to imagine that whenever I cook or bake something for him I substitute cow's milk for my own, and maybe mix in some of my girl tinkler fluids if he wants that.

The idea of having a son that's attracted to me like this guy is attracted to his mom is hot too. desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/11240825

I was also reading something online and I came across a transvestite saying their breasts grew to like a C and they said their boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off them, even while watching sports. It's hot imagining having a guy so attracted to you like that.

>>7056911
I dont think it works like that, you get insanely horny which would make you constantly think of all these things and wake up in the mid of the night. Cutting all the porn and fetish stuff if good, but you still get aroused and sex imagery is everywhere in the media, on billboards, you see dolled-up women on the streets etc.

My cycle went from arousal to angst, self-loathing and depression which killed my enjoyment of agp (and any enjoyment in general). This was the worst summer of my life.

>>7057008
I wish I wasn't such a degenerate that wanted to be a girl and wanted to have boys cum on me.

>>7056977
just need to not look at it

>>7057012
for the first week, the peak testosterone and thus horniness is at day 6-7, afterwards it drops back to normal levels

>>7056926
ikr, makes you feel desperately lonely

>>7056947
and no I dont have even remotely anyone to talk to, only online, people who I barely know, anons or other fetishists from a chatgroup
my ex gf was as vanilla normie as they come too

>>7056926
>Who the hell is going to understand THIS?
A good friend.

>>7057022
well, its certainly is not the worst thing you might have wanted
people do all sorts of things

>Be me 4 months hrt
>Be Asian. Pass with make up
>do online dating thing.
>6'1" attractive black male hits me up.
>he's a funny guy
>yo text me "666-9999"
>text him.
>so what this trans thing mean? Cuz, I'm 100% straight
>explain I'm a girl. He understands
>uber to his place. 1.5 miles away
> Yo. We gonna do this? He pulls out his thick black cock.
>get on your knees.
>ohshit what is happening?
>start sucking cock
>15 mins in. Can I get it in?
>let him in my shaved asshole. He fucks me. It hurts. Literally can't take it. Pull out. Ask him to go slower.
>he goes nice and slow.
>30 mins in he cums inside of me. I didn't touch it once.
>he hits me up today. Literally quivering in fear.

AGP ain't so bad I guess.

>>7057142
whys it always black guys in these stupid sissy fetish stories

>>7057101
To me it's worse than being a pedophile or jerking off to isis torture videos ;_;

>>7057199
Why?

>>7057183
most sexually dominant race

>>7057270
I don't know.

I got shamed a lot for acting feminine or girly or wanting to do anything that was feminine or girly as a kid. My dad would yell at me and make fun of me. Ever since that I always over-analyze the way I do everything to make sure it's not feminine or girly in the slightest.

Even in private I have a hard time letting go and doing something feminine. It's always bittersweet because it feels good to be/do something feminine but I can't help but think about how much people would hate me if I knew or how much they would make fun of me and how embarrassing it would be.

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>>7057278
muh stereotypes

>>7057279
Well, can you change? Probably not.
Whats the point beating yourself up about it? It's you, instead of hating yourself, go do something fun or productive.
If people hate you for what you are, they are the wrong people to hang around with.
So either change or accept yourself as you are, but sitting there suffering in limbo is the worst thing you can do, trust me I know.

>>7057324
>Whats the point beating yourself up about it?
I just can't stop thinking about it.

No matter what I do.

>>7057408
Learn how to not think, distract yourself somehow, meditate.
Or resolve your inner conflict, accept that its alright, and you're going to be fine.
Life is bigger than this, you're bigger than this, don't reduce yourself to one problem.

>>7057022
Me too, anon. Me too.
It hurts knowing I can never have the thing that turns me on.

>>7057183
Psyops

>>7046668
Its not untrue

>>7057012
Uh if you get angsty if you stop constantly overmasturbating that's a good indication that something's up and you're trying to distract yourself from it.

>>7057075
>Sup homie btw I'm turned on by imagining I conform to extremely sexist stereotypes of what it means to be a woman and also I really want to be one to the point where I want to kms because I can't?? wait where are you-

>>7057142
boner no

>>7059905
This is the most normal, boring fantasy. The last thing you should be castigating your boner for.

>>7059735
the truth often makes one miserable

>>7059735
>>7059966
Good thing that's just prejudice held by people who know next to nothing about women.

>>7060011
far easier to show that getting hung up on the truth value of that poster's beliefs just distracts from the fact that he's making himself miserable regardless

>>7059925
It doesn't matter, I don't want this. I want the thoughts to go away.

>>7060098
Well if you live out that fantasy enough times you might get bored of it and thus stop thinking about it.

>>7060199
But I can't live it out, that's the problem.

>>7037310
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/this-is-the-ideal-male-body

>>7059891
>a GOOD friend

>>7060372
Lucid dreams

>>7060766
I guess I don't have any GOOD friends then. If anyone actually does have a friend they can tell such things to and have them understand then I'm extremely jealous of that person.

>>7060844
Yep. Me too.

>>7057075
>A good friend.
not necessarily

i call myself lucky to have one really good friend, but she says she doesn't really understand. and that's not for lack of trying, she keeps asking questions trying to figure it out. in turn i feel like i've learned a lot about what it's like being an actual woman from her, but there's also this limit beyond which i can't seem to fully 'get it'.

>>7060886
How do you even bring something like this up? I'm incredibly curious about how that discussion went.

requesting more qt azn grils in future editions

>>7060940
Be the qt azn gril you want to see in the world.

>>7060956
don't torment me ;___;

>>7060921
we got to know each other in the final year of uni a few years ago. realized we had some things in common, started spending the time between lectures together, talking about all sorts of things. one day i told her a story that had happened to me a few days before, goes somewhat like this:
>be balancing on top of a wall surrounding a game reserve (in normal mode, couldn't have seemed conspicuous or anything)
>some kid in a nearby house shouts at me "hey pretty lady!"
to date i don't know whether the kid was trying to mock me, and for what exactly, anyway
so after i told her that story, i added "and that's the problem about me"
first, she misunderstood, asked whether i was worried that i wasn't masculine enough. i then explained it to her. she asked lots of questions trying to understand it, her main argument was "how could you want this when you have it much easier as a man in this world?". as the years went on, we kept coming back to the topic every once in a while, in part also because it touches on our professional interests (we both work in a psychiatric hospital now).

there's also this other good friend of mine, who was kind of amused by all of it but was like "you just need to get a girlfriend, bro".

since then, i may have told about 5 to 10 people, mostly in a casual fashion. that said, there's nothing much to 'come out' about, because i'm not transitioning or anything. so that makes it easier i guess.

>>7061013
Thanks for sharing. Your friend sounds really nice. I'm a bit surprised that what confused her wasn't the sexual aspect.

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Anyone here tested their testosterome levels? I think im low on it (although im fairly masc) because i never was able to get boners from visual stimuly (ie porn or hot girl walkin down the streets) without jerkin it. Also never had morning woods, or very rarely.

Idk maybe this AGP shit is derived from an emasculated sexuality created by low T?

Anyone tested theyre levels?

>>7061323
I regularly go through blood tests. My testosterone level is normal. The whole "low T" thing is a /pol/ meme on the same tier as "vaccines cause autism".

You need to stop listening to /pol/ and /r9k/.

>>7061013

>there's also this other good friend of mine, who was kind of amused by all of it but was like "you just need to get a girlfriend, bro".

Damn, guys can be such fuckboys.

>>7061411
nah he means well

and he seemed to take perverse pleasure in teasing me as he himself started crossdressing occasionally after i told him. the worst thing is, he's got a really feminine figure, and almost zero beard growth.

>>7061411
That's a common normie response to this kind of thing in general though. They don't understand how deeply-seated and important the issue can be to the person that experiences it.

>>7061323
You get low T from jerking it too much.

>>7057279
It's always like that, if boys weren't shamed for not being manly maybe this whole fetish wouldn't exist.

>>7059875
Not from masturbating or abstaining, from getting dysphoric, realizing Im a freak with broken sexuality and wanting the impossible and wrong.

>>7061467
>Not from masturbating or abstaining, from getting dysphoric
That's exactly what I'm saying. It seems to me that you've been masturbating in order to avoid confronting these feelings.

>wanting the impossible
Why is transitioning impossible for you?

>wrong
Why do you feel wanting this is wrong?

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>>7061411
>Sometimes

>>7061323
I'm pretty sure Im normal average, never had problems with skin but have facial hair and had normal muscle growth when I was into sports, male fat distribution

>>7061331
Not necessary a meme, just not as straightforward, ie arousal is a dopamine thing and testosterone affects dopamine.

>>7061548
Ive been masturbating cause it turns me on and brings me pleasure. I'm not trans, its just my sexuality and getting obsessed with it. I've posted about it before - sometimes I wish I was trans - I know its silly but at least there would be no identity conflict.

Im too old and masc already to be fem and dress up to look good and slut it out. And of course I grew up in society where non-masc men are ridiculed and even gays mock crosdressers. Ive more or less accepted myself, but I feel like I would kill myself or flee the country if others found out. If I was still 20 maybe I'd move to some tolerant paradise to live my life as femboy on hrt.

>>7061467
I think I have more than a fetish. I think I'm actually a tranny which is worse, or at least a tranny with these fetishes.

>>7061548
>Why is transitioning impossible for you?
reality is that you cant become a girl

>>7061716
Define "become a girl". For all practical purposes you can come pretty close, and if you have gender dysphoria then staying a man is worse.

>>7061749
++;

>>7061323
My endo said I was on the higher end of male average

NEW THREAD !!
>>7061893
>>7061893
>>7061893

I tried to make it a bit more appaling, I'm just wondering if it's sfw enough

>>7060770
I usually do that and it's amazing, but I haven't had them for a while.
They're so relaxing.

>>7061323
Yes. Last month, 590 ng/dl, perfectly normal.
I've also never tried that "getting a boner from seeing a hot girl" thing. Very rarely get boners in the morning, low sex drive (mainly caused by AGP and wanting to have sex as a girl) and slow beard growth.

>>7061323
I got mine tested a few weeks ago, it was 800ng/dl.
I was took a two day break from bicalumide before the test.