/lgbt/ feels thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9kj2lOwyss

Obvious answer

trying to come up with an excuse to msg a girl

>>6971392
Dilation is 4 hours overdue...
I don't wanna but I feel shitty for not doing it

>>6971392
frustrated over videogames

suicidal

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>>6971392
Worried about the amount of things I need to do today and confused over my hair and how to buy girl clothes without getting embarrassed or looking creepy :(

I'm not exactly intimidating but I still think I'll get some strange looks.

This board fucked me up. I'm spending too much time now reflecting on what my sexuality (cisgay) means. If it means anything. Old me would've said if you think about anything too much it's pointless. Now I'm in college and I have no friends + too much free time = I'm starting to go crazy

>>6971392
a character I project heavily on from a book series that is shit but that I still love was confirmed as bi!

pretty happy

>>6971959
Personally I try to focus more on being a good person and looking as presentable as I can with what I have rather than "I have to do this because I'm X sexuality/gender".

If you don't overthink who you are neither will anyone else.

>>6971392
ayy thinking about playing Sid Meier's Beyond Earth and feeling pretty chill at 4 AM

amazing how 6 hours ago I was crying over tranny feels(if a single tear counts as crying)

>>6971959
fucking this. I need to get a break from this place, gives me too many feels and its stupid

(tranny boymode)

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>>6971392
Pain and despair

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Undifferentiated longing with a hint of wistfulness. What might have been? What was? What could be?

The glacial approach of winter startles my senses out of their langor. Whenever the seasons change a new mind molts from its shell.

Perhaps more is possible than this. Maybe there's more to life than the difficulties and disappointments that have presented themselves.

A new life is possible. A way forward, a path into authentic selfhood, and the nobility of love.

>>6971927
Honestly just did it today, went to the bank beforehand so dress-clothes on then went to wal-mart. got some cute lacy panties and a nice bra that fits :3 just say 'Hi how's your day going' listen to what they have to say, maybe ask how long they have to go? Be a nice guy and then at the end chuck in a 'Girlfriend will be happy with these' if your really that much of a self-concious bitch. Working retail all they want is for you to get away from them to serve the next customer; [spoiler]nobody cares[spoiler].

>>6971392
I'm lusting, possibly gettings feels, for a bi older guy at work who's facebook status is "in a relationship." He's extremely kind to me, knows i'm gay, and my heart is confusing the kindness for affection. My brain knows it's all wrong. I need to turn my heart/cock off. How do I become a cold, unfeeling robot?

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>>6971392
Figuring out what to do during the Fall/Winter as I'll be isolated in my apartment again without a car/bus etc or any uni to go to. I didn't expect this year to be any different with regards to never speaking to people, and it wasn't.

>>6971959
This board is one of the most important on all of 4chan.

>>6972127
How do you afford living alone?

Horny and I wish a cute boi would suck my cock.

>>6972241
It's a shared apartment so it's only $500 a month, which I have more than enough for saved up as well as earning a solid amount through selling bootleg /mu/core paraphernalia online.

My relationship with the other roommates is strained at best and I haven't spoken to them for a month or two so they're not an asset to me.

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Terrified. I'm 23 and I've recently figured out the reason for my overall hatred of my body and discomfort with being seen as male is because I'm transgender. I thought for about a year that I was agender but I can't deny it anymore. I want to be a girl and I have always wanted that.

Gonna finally call up some leads on therapists and healthcare to see if my broke ass can even get on HRT sometime this decade. I still look pretty young and androgynous but my passing clock is ticking and I will self medicate if it comes to that.

also my family is mormon so that's gonna be fun

>>6972605
adventist family here. I get it anon. it's gonna be tough, and you'll want to establish a strong non-family support network, but you can do it. Become a woman, anon. I believe in you!

>>6972605
If you are able to get a prescription but are having trouble affording it look into rxoutreach.

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>>6972623
Thank you kind stranger. I'm actually pretty lucky that my father is a convert so he doesn't have a lot of the baggage that most generational church families have, but my mother's parents are in the same ward and they are pretty devout and judgmental. They already think I'm a failure but they're boomers so I try not to care.

>>6972680
I will definitely look into this since it looks like I qualify, thank you.

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At a precipice.

I'm 33 and finally out of the last straight relationship I ever want to be in (broke it off 3 months ago) and I am good friends with a married couple who are both hot as fuck and are down to fuck (super hot wife and her husband is a crosdresser and cute as fuck)

I'm queer/bi whatever and have only fooled around with one guy before, but only oral sex. I want to fuck both the wife and husband and get fucked too (I'm versatile).

Only thing is that I fucking love bareback sex. I fucking hate condoms. All my sexual relationships have been monogamous and I got a vasectomy awhile ago so I don't have to worry about having any fucking kids.

STD's are the only thing I'm worried about. I've been lucky to never contract anything (I get tested at least once every six months) and am so afraid of HIV, AIDS, the new gonorrhea that is incurable, etc. But goddamn I want to fuck and be fucked good by this couple - I've known them for over a year and they say they get tested but they each have multiple ongoing relationships with other partners.

ughhh...

>>6972779
Also feel like I do not give a fuck about anything anymore. I am unlovable, I cannot make relationships work, and am pretty convinced that while I am doing great being back in academia working towards a Doctorate, I will never find solace with another person. I hate myself. Fucking christ I hate myself.

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Pretty concerned honestly. I've held in and repressed all these weird feelings about gender since i was like 5, and it's all flooding out. Don't know what i am anymore. Haven't slept for days. Can't look at myself in the mirror. I was born a guy but i keep feeling like that's wrong. I don't want to be trans. I just want to be normal.

>>6972953
same here, except I've been on hrt for years. living as male forever, presenting heteronormative, resigned. now people think im some sort of tranny more and more often (possibly from tits, possibly from my overly young looks) and my tranny feels are coming back like a river

>>6972969
>>6972953
Do you have time alone to work on your feelings? If you can find someone understanding to live with it might help. Then you could be yourself at home and then at least your home place you could act how you want to.

>>6972999
I'm still only 18. I live at home. Deeply catholic mother, hyper conservative father. I have everything i could ever want. Food, water, family. Im in decent shape, never have any problems with getting girls.But this crap has to rear it's head again. I don't want to be trans. I just wish i was born a girl.

>>6973042
Just admitting that makes me feel so damn ashamed. I've always wished it. but i've never said or typed it.

>>6973056
>SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

>>6973060
Essentially, yes

>>6973063
It wasn't a compliment. ;)

>>6973042
At some point in the future you will have a safe space to be yourself, dress how you want, act how you want, maybe even a roommate to share late night talks about crushes and whatever else.

I know it totally sucks, but nobody's life is perfect, and yours will surely get better. In the mean time just know that you're a beautiful person with a good heart and that's a lot more than can be said for a lot of people.

Hang in there, and love yourself for who you are.

>>6971465
Hello friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNIJAUVC7sQ

>>6972086
I've always thought it was strange how at one point in the day you can be crying and thinking about hurting yourself, and then several hours later feel relatively okay.

>be trans girl
>have cis girlfriend
>we have sex using my dick
>don't like it but she really seems to enjoy it and that makes me happy
>feel weird, disconnected, awkward and dysphoric the whole time and afterwords
>lay next her cuddling, trying to hold back tears
>"you alright anon"
>"haha yeah just tired from all the sex lol"
>she goes home an I sit around crying and feeling like shit

This happens at least once a week. She can tell it makes me upset and even offers to stop messing with my dick but the next time things get all hot and heavy she's all over it and wants to fuck. I can't wait until I can get this damn thing chopped off and mangled into a fake vagina.

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Maybe a bit late, but pretty uneasy with life. Dunno where I'm gonna be in a few years to the rest of my life, kinda scary. Also pretty lonely, pic related.

>>6973291
maybe ask her to use a strapon on you instead?

horny

>>6973291
Just start using toys on her instead, this feeling is just going to keep getting worse. Talk to her and tell her how you really feel, if she can't respect that then you should move on to someone who will

5th time i try to go running

I just can't, i feel to dumb and scared and awkward and everything bad

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>tfw noticed that the local young-transitioner passing transgirl appears to be balding more and more every week
this doesn't feel right or fair

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I'm feeling that IF YOU LOOK LIKE A DYKE ACT LIKE A DYKE AND QUACK LIKE A DYKE WHY AREN'T YOU A DYKE

FUCK YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART

>>6974602
We have a few times. She has a lot of fun with it and I really like it too, but having other people put thing in my butt makes me feel pretty nervous and vulnerable so it's always hard for me to work up the confidence to let her peg me, and occasionally it gets kinda overwhelming and I have to ask her to stop. Also preparation and clean up can be a pain. I wish I wasn't always so scared of doing it so it could more frequently be an alternative.

>>6977571
If she's on hrt you're either just imagining things or it's a baldness other than male pattern baldness. If she's not been on hrt long it could be shock loss from the sudden shift in hormone levels, if she's especially thin it might be because she's not getting enough to eat

>>6977622
she's been on HRT for years presumably but her hairline is like combover tier and halfway over her head

it might just be naturally high, i only noticed when she pulled her hair back

>>6977655
It was probably that way before starting hrt. A lot of people born male start to bald earlier than the average person would expect, and hrt can't fix everyone's hairline.
Alternatively she may have just been born with a high hairline. My hairline was pretty receded before I got on hrt and I had a single cisgirl friend who's hairline was worse than mine.

>>6977586
What do a dyke's quacks sound like?

>>6977765

"queek"

I'm so lonely, I want a friend so bad, but all my efforts are like pulling teeth. Anyone I add from 4chan is never online when I am, and when they are online it takes them forever to reply to me. Now that I'm older all of my peers have jobs and no one has time for chatting, games, and making friends. I'm going to be alone forever.

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>>6972999
I am alone. I have time to work on my feelings. My feelings are that even tho I started at 19, I am a hon. Even tho it's been over 3 years, I'm a hon. The truth is I won't ever truly like myself without ffs. The truth also is I won't be able to afford it this year, nor the next year, and maybe not the next year either.

And then post ffs I will literally have to change gender, else my life would be full of problems. But to change gender legally without srs, which I absolutely refuse, I'd have to move to Ireland or somewhere else where the laws regarding that are liberal as fuck. Else, I could change gender only socially, and be legally still male, which also invites a lot of problems as well.

That I will never find a partner who would suit me is a reality I accepted. That I can't make friends or emotionally connect to other people is a fact I accepted, too.
I find meaning in my life through hobbies, passions, drugs.

I think I'm trans and wondering about what it would be like to go through daily routines as a woman. Normally I just think about getting fucked like one and that feels so right...so wouldnt living everyday as a woman feel so right?

>>6972779
Yeah I feel you on the STD shit. Wasn't until after I had sex with a few guys that I realized how risky that shit is. Went and got tested a few weeks after then at 2 or 3 months, both came back negative. 6 months out i'm feeling kinda sickly and had a case of the fucking shingles a month back like WTF. Ordered a HIV test kit and going to check again to make sure i'm not HIV +. Scary shit indeed, cannot get it out of my head that I might be positive hopefully this next test will give me some peace of mind .

>>6978006
Getting fucked as a woman might just be a fetish of yours. The worst thing you can do is start to transition then realize months later it was just a fetish.

>>6973042
you are young young you got time to figure this shit out anon.

>>6971392
i wish i was dead

>>6978072
isn't it a beautiful feeling

>>6977603
that sounds really fucking adorable, anon. people being temporarily overwhelmed and being comfortable enough with their partner to ask them to stop is my fetish.

other things:
>mouth stuff
>you could try being the one with the strapon? it sounds stupid I know but sometimes its just better than using your own junk
>double-ended dildo

not telling her that this is hurting you isn't fair to her. you should just tell her. if she's willing to use toys on you or even date a trans woman she's probably pretty open minded.

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>>6978061
Yeah you may be right. It's weird I'm not physically attracted to guys at all but I am attracted to women. Just when it comes to sex I love to fantasize about being one.

I can masturbate to regular guy on girl porn but I have to concentrate more and even then I still start imagining myself as the woman.

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I was socialized male. I will never experience the equivalent female milestones to what I had growing up (see pic related). Even if I ever pass (doubtful) I'll still feel like a man pretending to be a woman.

JUST

>>6979107
Iktf. It's funny when groups of girls hanging out catch me staring at them, little do they know I'm jealous of them.

>>6979388
That's been me forever. I always feel bad about it if I'm caught.

>>6979107
Okay. So id this the story behind this pic real or not. I need an absolute truth

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>>6979107

Isn't the girl in the middle trans?

JUST

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>>6979107
>>6979441

FUCK

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>>6979455

MY

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>>6979459

SHIT

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>>6979461

UP

The QT is going to a week-end with his uni to party and do stuff. To ensure that he doesn't fall for anyone during that, I'm meeting him tonight just before he goes. I'm exited

>>6978814
just take hrt if you want to. changes are quite slow so if it turns out you're not trans and you don't like them just stop hrt.

>>6979441
there is that pic of her that gets posted a lot but people say it's fake and I haven't seen any real proof so idk

i'm feeling decent
>washed down my jizz with some pancakes

>>6979107
also this is pretty much me
at least we can pretend, though

>>6979107
I absolutely despise women who look like that, act like that, dress like that, and make photos like that. I would never be like that.

I have my pride, and my own sense of fashion. I've never become what is known a "normie" on 4chan...even if I were suddenly to be turned into female. My disphoria is body only.

I think i'm trans and i'm so scared. I just wanna be normal.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lvdBBwvZen0

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Today I talked to someone in front of mirror and I noticed I have mannerism of total fag.

I didn't think I'm like that. No wonder people assume im lgbt after talking to me....

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I should just bite the bullet and go bisexual for the financial security. It feels awful even thinking about it, but no woman is going to take care of my dead beat ass.

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>>6971392
I'm 100% in fucking love with my best friend. It's so awkward sometimes. Like I've cuddled with this dude before. But at the same time, sometimes he's so unresponsive to me, like he shows no interest at all. I can't tell if he just sees me as a best friend or if it's something more. We have like a crazy connection though. I'll be thinking of him at like 2 AM and he'll just show up to my house. and it's like what the fuck is going on.

It's kind of stressful, but such a funny situation when I think about it. Like wow life is fucking crazy

Anxious. I'm going to hang out with my ex in a bit in hopes of getting some ass.

It's 11:15pm, he isn't here yet, and I have to work in the morning. And he cried last time we hung out.

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pic related

Becoming less questioning about my bisexuality. Tried buttstuff for the first time earlier in the week and it was pretty good. Messaging this guy on kik but im too nervous to post pics but havent told him yet.
Kind of getting in to crossdressing but while its hot while im doing it I kinda feel like its transphobic because im not trans I just enjoy pretending to be a cute girl while I masturbate.

>>6971465
Nice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiqOsKngc-c

I just want to move out :/ At least my friend is having a party tomorrow so I can get drunk without getting sad

>>6985706
>im not trans
that's what they all say

>>6979107
pretty much this, oh and Ive been doing a shit ton of nothing an procrastination with a side of probably failing uni(again) even though I like what I do.

>>6986882
I failed uni thrice, good thing is free here

>>6971392
i am feeling super qt because i am wearing thigh high stockings just like my favorite anime girls

I know a bloody cute gay guy, I find him attractive and I like him too already. He also said I'm cute.
But I'm 19 and he's 31. It feels so wrong but it's what I want. I just feel so conflicted right now.
What the fuck do I do now?

>>6971392
sexuality, romance/love are currently the least of my worries

>>6971392
I feel depressed because once again I've developed a crush on someone who don't ever return my feelings. Will this finally end someday?

>>6986727
yeah nah

>tfw want to date a qt MTF but no one is into you

I hate being a retarded pimply mess

>>6971392
ive been doodling cats from a fb group im a part of for a couple hours so im actually in a decent mood

took my mind off the financial stress i had this morning

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>at home getting blazed and watching netflix
>decided to ditch school for the umpteenth time
>hear a very loud knock on my door
>check out my window and see its a cop
>kinda panic, though i havent done anything, probably something happened in the area and he wanted to know if i need anything
>open door
>are you "anon"?
>heart drops "oh god he's here for me"
>"...yes..."
>I've been sent by your school, you've been missing a lot of class and someone is afraid you hurt yourself
>stare off into the distance, did my proffessors really think i an heroed
>assure the cop im not having suicidal thoughts or feelings
>he asks if i need anything, and when i say no he leaves me be

wow i guess my massive depression and truency caught up to me

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Very confused and sad as I'm now coming to terms with a really bad trauma that surfaced itself when I tried having with my BF. This may sound hard to believe but I was molested 120 times from ages 10 to 17 and it has made sex very hard for me to point were I want to quit and go platonic but I don't really want to do that.

Me and him have been trying to help with it but we've made very little progress. I guess I might be broken forever. He said he'll stay with even if I can't have sex though.

>just popped my first hormones
What am I in for /v/?

>>6971392
Some weird mix of jealousy, gloom, and happiness.
A friend of mine who I have a crush on is probably falling for this cis girl that he met. Jealous of the girl, gloomy that I'm not the one he loves, but also happy for him because he might get into a relationship soon, which he's wanted for a while now.

>>6971392
someone asked if I was cute after hearing my voice in comms
I said I don't think so
then they called me a pig
rip

>>6988999
yer nipples are gonna go cray in about a month, then you're gonna start getting really emotional
it's gonna feel pretty good.

>>6971392
Bored at work. Stuck here til 8 am and I could really go for some hot chocolate with a cute boy on my lap right now but such is life.

>>6972122
Don't be. We have enough people like that in this world as is.

>>6988996
sounds like a good guy

My girlfriend has PTSD and has made it clear touch is a very awkward thing at times for her, and I've been extremely respectful but whenever we get intimate, it's always about her? She's a pillow princess and that's usually fine with me, but even now I hear her tell others "I never want to be touched, I'm disgusted by it" and I dont know if she's aware that I can hear that...

I love her. I love her so much but I'm not asexual, I'm not one that can sit and do nothing but I love her so much that I don't want to let her go. I'm so selfish to want to do more than just kiss but it's like I don't know what the truth is; am I pushing your boundaries when you are explicitly begging for me to touch you? Why is it that you ask for things but then tell others you're sex repulsed. Should I just tell her no next time?

Why can't she just tell ME that she hates it...

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>>6985031
....go on.

>work was slammed today
>the mental exhaustion wore down both my patience and my ability to bottle up my dysphoria
>accidentally snapped at a customer
>almost vomit in the bathroom
>breaking down and breaking down hard
>get home
>still feeling exhausted and empty and wrong
>still feel like vomiting
>know i need to eat bc i haven't all day and i was running around so hard that i worked up a sweat in air conditioning
>can't bring myself to eat anything
>just laying in bed on 4chan looking something to take my mind off the fact that im a broken husk of a human being and i'll never really be a man
kill me :)

>>6992749
you ftm?

>>6971392
I'm 35. I found out I was gay almost four weeks ago. A week ago I started getting feelings for my best friend, hardcore.

lonely