Everytime I tell guys on OKC that I'm a tranny the messages stop

It should be 100% clear and stated on your profile.

>>6960699
This. Then only the ones interested will even message you.

>>6960702

Nope. Most guys don't read your profile.

>>6960653

Have it in your profile and ask guys if they've read your profile.

Or just give up and be alone because the ones you'll get will be chasers and they're trash.

>>6960743
whats the fucking point if no one reads the profile?

>>6960653
>Guys who are completely wrong for me stop talking to me

What's the problem here, exactly?

The point of meeting people is to meet people you'll actually get on with, not to meet absolutely anyone. And unless you have zero standards, most people are not people you'll get on with.

>>6960952
Lesbians read profiles, I know that much from experience. Most men seem to just look at the picture posted for whatever reason.
>t. Bi girl

>>6961343
A lot of gay guys read your profile. But there's still a huge number of guys on there just looking for casual sex that will send out a massive amount of messages without looking at your profile

>>6961378
So, their loss right? At least they ghost rather than spewing some bigoted shit

Met my girlfriend on OKC. Now we live together. Got to share all my trans milestones with her. She teaches me makeup/fashion stuff all the time. We are both artistic and paint/play music together.

She doesn't game but usually reads or paints while I do. She says I was like a 5-6 as a guy but now am closer to a 8-9 as a woman rofl. I still have PIV sex with her and while it hurts for me it still feels amazing.

Hang in there. Things can be really really good!

>>6960699
But then I might be outed to the people I meet irl

>>6962942
To the people I know irl I mean

>>6960952
cis guy here i read profiles after confirming that the girl is cute i don't message until reading all the profile and relevant questions

>>6962953

Good for you, do you want a medal? Most guys don't.

>>6962975
yoikes
if you're op i have a feeling it's not the being a tranny that scares them off

>>6962984

nah I'm not OP I just felt like mocking you for showing off and talking yourself up on an anonymous imageboard

It reeked of "Not all men are like that!", funny how you've taken it so personally.

>>6960653
>should I not tell them until a few dates in?

That's just wasting even MORE of your time.
Someone who is just taken aback but willing to test the waters isn't going to just stop messaging you. The people who do that are purely uninterested and the interaction was doomed to begin with. Be thankful that you only wasted a small amount of each others' time before realising it wouldn't work, and move on.

There is nothing wrong with being rejected by people like this. You shouldn't be looking for just anybody to date, it's not about getting the maximum number of offers. You should be looking for someone who's specifically right for you. That's the only success you need to worry about. Literally every other person on the planet can reject you so long as you snag the few/one who is really going to enrich your life.
People who consider being trans a deal breaker are not right for you. It's fine that they walk away.

>>6962975
I'm just saying some people will read the profile so it's not pointless also you can tell people to read it when they message you

>>6963008

Well someone's projecting. Maybe he just thought his perspective might be significant in the face of a baseless blanket statement that doesn't ring true to his experience.
Granted, he's one guy who might just be a weirdo, while someone who deals with guys in general is in a better position to recognise patterns, but your judgements are a bit of a leap.

>>6963013
Should I put it on my profile then? I'm really afraid that the people I know irl will find out and since I live in a small extremely conservative country, if word spreads, my entire life is doomed. or should I just tell each guy as the message me, that get pretty tiring.

>>6963205
You're better off telling individually, as frustrating and painful as that is. If being openly trans will do you such significant harm, you cannot be openly trans.

>>6963013
I was wondering, wouldn't it be harder for them to break off once they are already emotionally invested in the relationship?

>>6960653
If you don't want to be outed yet, unfortunately there isn't much you can do. It's just something you're gonna have to put up with until you're ready to go public about it, if you ever do.

>>6963411
Bump for this question

>>6963411

You're toeing the line of emotionally blackmailing someone into being with you at that point.
And it won't work, they'll still walk, they were always going to walk. The only difference is you've gotten your hopes up this time, and they might be pissed that you wasted their time.
You don't want someone who's only with you because they're throwing good money after bad. And people don't work like that, no one thinks "I'd never date a tranny! Buuuut, I did already buy this one dinner, so I guess we're together now." That's not how it works. If he would have walked when you first mentioned it, he'll still walk if you bring it up later.

You don't have to stick it on your profile or anything, since that is chaser bait and DOES risk turning off people who'd otherwise be fine with it since you haven't humanised yourself yet. And sure, wait until you feel like you've actually got a bit of a connection going before bringing it up, the same way you'd wait for a bit of a connection before suggesting an IRL date. But there's a line.
If they're going to drop you after pleasantly chatting with you, they're still going to drop you after going on a few dates with you. This isn't an issue time can solve. If they're not on board, that's it. Go onto the next one.

>>6960653
>dating normies
i dunno senpai
you'd probably be better off looking for mildly autistic but still functional online

>>6967820
I would like that since I'm autistic as well but I can't seem to find any of them where I live

that's odd considering there's a filter for transgenders. either you're tricking them or it's them not knowing how2OKC.

>>6960653
Are you pre op or post op?

Because hetshit guys and lesbians dont want to be dicked. No matter how pretty you might be, having a penis is a no go.

So if you dont want to put in ur profile for us to filter you, you better off telling them straight away.

>>6968957
I'm post op and into guys

>>6968915
I don't state in my profile as I am afraid of being outed to the people irl that know me

>>6969090
problem identified, then. you have my deepest sympathies but i think its best to be open, though i fully acknowledge that i know nothing about the situation you're in

>>6969090
so you're lying. no wonder they stop messaging you

>>6960653
It's literally the first statement in my profile and I get tons of messages (totally made out with my boyfriend for lime 2 hours last night)

>>6969319
if you read further, you'll see that OP lives in a conservative country and will put herself in risk if she's too open about it.

>>6967783
was lurking, but i gotta say sometimes it does work like that. pre transition this girl was very into me and i saw her posting shit about how she'd never date a trans person. so i was like hey i'm trans and starting hormones soon. she was really upset for a bit but then we dated for a bit and she would do my makeup and help me with how i dressed the entire time (she's a makeup artist). while i think you should always tell someone first for your own safety, sometimes it's just a matter of someone getting to know you before they write you off.

>>6960653
For some reason I have the opposite happen.

>>6963008

Have you gotten SRS yet? I'm getting this rotten smell from between your legs.

>>6969319
Aren't you afraid of being outed?

>>6962984
Anyone who's scared off by that reply is a fucking wuss.

>>6963411
honestly you're putting yourself in danger at this point, guys don't typically react positively when his date actually turns out to be a man in a wig

>>6960653
serious question. can't trannies stick to mostly dating other trannies? lets be honest now, not many cis people - gay or straight - is going to want to date one

>>6960653
You should share that information on your profile. Otherwise, you are lying. Sharing to a guy that you are trans a few dates in is just lying to him and it can be potentially dangerous. You can also search for heteroflexible, pansexual, or bisexual guys. Just be honest. I think like 40% of guys would date a transgender woman or something.

>>6971101
I'm out to everyone, super liberating. Plus it's not like anyone who knows me recognizes me in my pictures. My old roommate from my freshman year sent me a message and he didn't realize who I was until I told him

>>6974056
>lets be honest now, not many cis people - gay or straight - is going to want to date one
Except you're just projecting.

>>6962942
If you have such concerns why are you okay with telling random people who could do the exact same?

>>6974056
If he's a very passable ftm I don't mind but even ftms are rare

>>6974115
Because the chances of them knowing someone I know irl is lesser than when I put it on my profile

>>6974056

A lot of the time, even trannies don't want to date trannies.

>>6974186
Dating a pre-op just begs for trouble, but the post-ops seem somewhat down to earth imo.

>>6960653
The alternative is hiding the fact that your trans (which is what taking it off your profile does) and lying to them. You're actively hiding a VERY important fact from a potential partner and I'm sure you would cry 'victim' as soon as you drop your pants and they punch you in the mouth.

You can't force a completely hetero, normal person to accept you, why are you people too dense to realize that? Not being mean, just being fucking honest since no one else wants to tell you the truth.

>>6974299
Then how do I get a bf? ;(

>>6974318

If you think of a boyfriend as something you have to trick into being with you, you're not ready for one.

>>6974337
If there is another way, I'm open to it

>>6974344

By recognising relationships for what they are, and not thinking of them as some kind of fucking accessory? Saying you simply want "a boyfriend" immediately makes that person completely interchangeable, you just want one for the sake of it. Fuck wanting "a boyfriend," are you 13 years old?
Just look for love.

>>6974352
>I'm so much more mature than you
>Where's my prince charming? My knight in shining armor? My most interesting man in the world? My The One, my Everything, my Reason for Living®, my special someone who makes it all worth it?

>>6974318
Why do you feel entitled to have a bf to begin with? Tbh you don't sound mature enough for one if you can't realize you don't start off a relationship completely lying to someone.

It's a 50/50 thing. If someone doesn't WANT or NEED to be with a trans person it doesn't matter how much you want them to be.

This is like basic kindergarten-level relationship shit. And, no, it doesn't make them a bigot or homophobe because they find you completely unattractive and borderline gross. Unless we're going to start saying lesbians and gays are bigots and heterophobes for finding the opposite sex unappealing.

>>6974352
Isn't wanting a bf and looking for love the exact same thing?

>>6974363
Well about the same thing as is me asking you to kindly leave as opposed to telling you to get the fuck out. Two things can mean the same thing in theory, but they come across differently.

You might not mean that you just want a bf, but noone knows what implications you bundle up when you say "bf" as everyone's expectations are of course a very subjective matter.

>>6974362
What about
>>6969351

>>6974363
You talk about wanting a bf like it's a new lamp you pick up at a Home Depot to dress up your living room.

You can be vapid and simple about relationships, you can even be trans if you want. If you're both at the same time you're going to have a VERY hard time with relationships in general not just intimate relationships.

>>6974404
So, what you're implying is that you can't give a shit about love if you're the type of person who wants a bf?

>>6974418
That's an anecdotal story from 1 person that may or may not even be true. Let's assume it IS true, that's still 1 person out of 1,000,000 and no way represents the majority of people. Roll the dice if you want, lie to people and try to push yourself on a straight person. All I'm saying is, statistically, you're more likely to have something very bad happen to you as opposed to finding your prince charming going about it the way you're suggesting and, no, that doesn't make you a 'victim' it makes you someone who knowingly lied and deceived someone else who had good intentions and you just got what was coming to you for being an asshole about it.

>>6974437
>Let's assume it IS true

Y tho

Do you like assuming Jesus was the Son of God? You know, you stimulate your intellect? lol

>>6974437
>someone else who had good intentions
>straight people who murder trans people because they're grossed out

>>6974363

No. "A boyfriend" is turning a human into a concept. "Love" is a concept that includes an unknown person.
Getting "a boyfriend" just means doing all the "right" things to get some guy to be your boyfriend. Go to a fucking gamestop and pick out the sweatiest virgin you can find, congratulations, you now have a boyfriend.
Finding love means finding someone who's actually compatible with who you are and building a real relationship with them. This isn't something you'll get by trying to socially engineer people out of their aversion to dating trans people. It's something you'll get by not wasting your time on those people, and focusing on those who are happy to date trans people.

It's like, I could pitch a tent on a plot of land and say that's where I live, that's easy. But that's hardly the same thing as having a real home (unless maybe you're a rugged type, then tent it up).

I mean, if you don't actually want a relationship and just want to be able to say you have a boyfriend, do what you gotta do I guess. But that's probably not a healthy attitude, and as a trans person can be downright dangerous. Plus you have to factor in that you're brining another person into this, and both need to be clear on what your relationship is.

>>6974356
>middle ground? what's that?

>>6974462
I said "something bad" and you instantly jump to murder. Get a grip and stop trying to play the 'victim' card already.

>>6974418

That person's story doesn't even mean anything, they still disclosed their trans status BEFORE they started dating this person. The girl only claimed to be against dating trans people when it was entirely theoretical.
That's a completely different scenario from dating a person, disclosing that you're trans, and them walking away as a result. Someone who would theoretically walk away but finds themselves mistaken isn't the same as someone who's walked away in practice.

>>6974473
What makes you think I gave a shit what you posted? I thought I made it pretty clear I think your opinions are worthless.

Ok, so you set the bar at "something bad." So, who cares about? Why would I give a shit about the bar you set?

>>6974500
So, who cares about *that?

>>6974464
I honestly wouldn't mind having someone who's into trans but they're so difficult to find without outing myself

>>6974500
Now you're just avoiding legit advice and trying to hide away in your bubble.

"You said something that made me uncomfortable so your opinion doesn't matter anymore. Wahhh."

You're saying you don't care about consequences to your own clearly negative actions of lying to someone on a dating site? Do you take responsibility for anything?

So you lie to some guy so you can find a "bf", you're eating dinner and finally tell him, he immediately stands up and walks out leaving you to pay half the check. Clearly not murder, but why would you willingly put yourself in that obviously "bad" situation when it could have been avoided all together?

You really don't sound mature enough for a relationship if you ask for advice then refuse to look at the topic objectively instead of subjectively.

>>6974521
Hey that isn't me (the actual OP)

>>6974521
I'm not the troll you were talking to earlier you retard.

>>6974512

Well them's the breaks. For some people, the perfect backpack is "hard to find", they still go ahead and do their anal research if it's important to them.

>>6974527
I'm no troll

>>6974541
Your dubs say otherwise.

>>6974530
Yeah, except there's usually not a huge cock hidden in a side pocket that you don't know about until you've already bought the backpack.

File: image.jpg (23KB, 488x360px) Image search: [Google]

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>tfw emails got hacked, again
>had his phone number assigned to the password reset thingy
>text him at 1 am in the morning, explaing the situation
>helps and sends the codes he receives
>thank him a lot
>pass out
....
>next day wake up
>login to accounts and figure out how to resign numbers
>need more confirmation texts
>text him again at 7:30 am
>agrees to help again
>get my things changed
>thank him one hundred fold
>tfw will never get to feel him behjnd me, 10/10 bf material

>tfw his gf was with him

>>6974550
>>tfw his gf was with him
OOF, now that's a bad feel

Its probably because guys want a real woman...you'd have better luck on a fetish site.

>>6976629
Will it work for postops and will I be able to find a meaningful relationship there?

>>6961343
Some don't, I've had bi girls that didn't read.

>>6961986
>>6969351
gross.

>>6974056
why would I want to date a constant reminder that I'm not cis? I date straight cis guys just fine and I've been in my current relationship for over a year now.

>>6960653
>dating pre-srs
Lol why even bother with that mess?

>>6963411
>I live in a small extremely conservative country, if word spreads, my entire life is doomed.
>wouldn't it be harder for them to break off once they are already emotionally invested in the relationship?
No, it would just be a ticket to getting severely beaten/murdered, you idiot.

>>6978174
How did you get a bf then?

>>6974576
Hid has a fairly well groomed beard. I need to feel that on my neck so bad.

OK Cupid is now an automated service populated by bots. They reply to your profile to keep you interested but there aren't real people behind it.

File: screencapture-okcupid-messages-1474151061714.png (612KB, 913x4801px) Image search: [Google]

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>>6981722
So this guy isn't real?

>>6981774
Nah that's just two guys bashing their bull horns together.

File: screencapture-www-okcupid-com-messages-1467071985886.png (251KB, 905x1585px) Image search: [Google]

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>>6981790
What about this one?

>>6981774
>i'm more of a man than you are
You sure said him, hon.

>>6981722

If you're right, then okc has perfected cyborgs who can perfectly mimic human behaviour right down to sex. So why they're wasting that technology on chatbots is beyond me.

Of course, it's theoretically possible that you're just bad at interacting with people on okc and too insecure to admit that. hmmm. Which is more likely?

>>6981820
>hmmmmm
Fuck off, linkara you filthy cock slut.

>>6981820
That they fill up their service with chat bots. For every one real person there must be a hundred chat bots.

>>6981774
I love reading this kind of shit, makes me laugh my ass off.

>>6981837
How about the huge messages that get spammed to every profile marked female and sometimes more than once?

>>6981847
You are just delusional. OKC offers high quality service to all it's users. Idea that it uses bots is just a slanderous lie.

>>6981847
I don't use online dating services for this reason anon. I just participate in schadenfreude.

>>6981774

Wow, that's pretty embarrassing.

>>6981810

Oh god, this ones even worse

>>6963013
If I. I've had good success with waiting a bit. Guy(sometime gal) can see that I'm not some fucking weirdo or a man playing dress up if they can interact with me for a bit. If they read it from my profile right off the bat them any weird misconceptions they have about trans people block from the start.

>>6982552

Yeah I agree, I spoke a little hastily. I think I clarified this a little down the line, maybe not in the same post chain.

But it's not about going on a few dates to make it harder for them to walk away by getting them 'emotionally invested' as OP said somewhere, it's just about humanising yourself and proving you're not a weirdo, as you said. One might consider this accomplished via just chatting, or might need a real date or two, it'll vary.
People who know they don't want to date trans people will still walk away, but people who aren't principally against it and just think it might be a red flag are more likely to stick around if you wait a little so they know you're not a psycho.
It's kinda like admitting you have a kid. Ultimately a lot of people just aren't going to budge, but being TOO up front about it can also scare away people who might otherwise be into you, if you establish yourself as "some woman with a kid," before you establish yourself as an individual they'd like to get to know more.