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Hidy ho there, faggerinos!
Straight white male here with a question: Isn't the very nature of transgenderism rooted in sexism? I have friends who have transitioned, and since I love them unconditionally for who they are as people, I endeavor to respect their decisions by treating them as such. However, I do question the process of thought by which they have chosen to transition. The most common answer I hear is that they've always felt like the opposite gender, which at face value sounds completely reasonable. What reveals the sexist undertones though, is how they define what exactly made them feel that way to begin with. Consider the following conversation I had with my friend:
>"I've always been less emotional than other girls. I like cars, mud, swearing, and hell, I even liked other girls."
Ok. So that's what makes a man? What if I don't particularly like mechanics or getting dirty? What if I'm a gay man? According to your definition, I might not even be one.
>"No, anon. You can like what you like and still and be a man."
Exactly. So why can't you like cars and mud and banging chicks while being a female? Own up to it. Be who you are.
>"I- I just don't feel like a girl. That's all."
...ok.
This isn't a decision based on logic from how I understand it. It's based on a warped view of what makes a man and a woman. I feel like if we raised our children to be happy with who they are, accepted that sexuality isn't limited to being heterosexual, and dismissed gender roles in our society, we simply wouldn't see the issues with gender we see amid people today.
Am I wrong for thinking this?
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>>6839321
No, you're not wrong. And if you "trans" friend said that they transitioned due to having a perception that they """felt""" like a man they're most likely a transtrender or someone suffering from the placebo affect.
There's an easily distinguishable difference between genuine gender dysphoria, and someone who claims that they "'"feel"'" like the opposite gender due to preconceived and false notions about said gender.
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>>6839321
I doubt thats the entire reason why your friend transitioned. sometimes things are explained poorly
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>>6839321
>Isn't the very nature of transgenderism rooted in sexism?
Highly reductive thinking and failure to define nebulous terms like "sexism." You're light-years away from having this conversation with the consideration it demands.
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>>6839412
Cont.
That said, you're right that issues with gender would be reduced by a reduction in gender roles. Of course, it is impossible to remove gender roles, so this is like one of those "what would happen if the sun just vanished?" questions. Biological dysphoria is not merely a result of gender roles, however, even if they may play into it.
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>>6839370
Don't forget OP is a cis friend of his though. His could have easily explained it in dumbed down terms for his friend, not wanting to talk about his dysphoria with someone who isn't trans. From the sound of it, this OP's friend has already transitioned anyway.
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>>6839432
>>6839412
Hey I completely agree with you. I did oversimplify the issue quite a bit there. Also I can understand how one can't make a blanket statement regarding such a broad topic. I do want to grow in my consideration of my friends and their feelings, but like somebody else said, a lot goes unsaid, and I'm left to kind of fill in the blanks.
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I don't blame you for the conclusion you've taken away from your friend's explanation, but that doesn't mean the concept itself is flawed.
Being transgender isn't about roles, no. It's about your body.
If you're a cis male, you're more or less comfortable with your male body. Maybe you'd like to be a bit taller, maybe you'd like your body hair to be a little less patchy, but overall you're comfortable that your male features exist in some capacity.
Little doubt though, you'd suffer some amount of distress if your penis fell off or you grew boobs or your muscles atrophied to that of an average woman's. And that distress is probably a good analogue for what trans men deal with before transitioning.
I wasn't raised with any particular gender roles. My friends through school were a mix and didn't treat me any differently because of my sex or my boyish behaviour. My job allows me to dress how I'm comfortable and is even female-dominated. As far as interacting with society goes, I have and could live comfortably as a butch woman for the rest of my life. And considering my personality against the way the world works, I honestly think it'd be easier for me in a lot of ways to be treated as a woman than as a man.
But despite all that, I still have gender dysphoria. I still feel disconnected from my feminine reflection, I still instinctively sit as if I need ball-room, I still feel like my breasts shouldn't be there and their presence creates a constant discomfort with using my body that hinders my daily life, like a limp.
It's a weird way to be and something that's really difficult to explain. It's just something that's always there, which is probably why people sometimes grasp at superficial sounding explanations. It's not that they thought "I like cars, therefore I must be a boy," it's more "I feel like a boy, why do I feel like this? I guess... I like cars?"
Those aren't the reasons, they're just the best explanation someone might be able to come up with.
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