/acegen/ - relationship edition

>TL;DR
What is sexless, kissless romance?
What do people in a relationship do? What makes it more than close friends (in the early relationship, before move-in stage)? How can you tell platonic love from romantic love?

>The Long:

Guys. I need some pep talk, if I could. I am usually one of the people here who defend bitterly the validity of asexual romantic relationships.

I'd love to hear a little of that, if someone is feeling it. I'm losing my conviction.

I'm getting the opportunity to maybe start something here. I've found someone that I am ridiculously compatible with.
And I'm terrified.

After a failed relationship with a sexual, I just don't know how this works any more. I had mostly given up and stopped believing I would ever have someone.

I've found out that this person has dated someone asexual before. So I'm not abandoned right out of the gate. I've already confessed my crush and received reciprocation.

What if we were just really close best friends who were kind of touchy feely with, who I hug and cuddle sometimes? I cuddle some of my friends. What would it mean if we were in a relationship? What is a relationship??

Would it be a mistake to try to make this a relationship? Would it be a mistake to let this catch go?

I don't know what to do and I'm scared.
>pls reply

>>6809314
>>6809251
Well, lets spitball some ideas about;

Is it an "exclusive passion"? a "mutual obsession"? even a "mutual education"? a "madness", in any sense of the word?

>>6809333
I appreciate you not telling me to fuck off, man. Sorry for not making the thread a cool theme like they said in the last couple posts. I just caught up.


>Is it an "exclusive passion"? a "mutual obsession"? even a "mutual education"? a "madness", in any sense of the word?
Madness seems strong. But I'm having feelings a lot stronger than would make sense for how long we've known each other. I feel more trusting than would make sense.
I feel like I don't want to stop talking when we're together. I feel this is someone who can really understand me and who would really care about me. I want to cry tears of joy because I didn't realize how isolated I felt before.

Alright, I will admit some madness. I worry that this crush/squish is clouding my judgment. I'm too excited for my own good.
I'll admit that it's only been two days since we met.

There's gotta be a catch, right? There's something wrong here and we're actually incompatible and would make an abusive couple, or something, right?
I can't think straight.

>>6809383
The important thing is we've addressed your first, asexuality-related point with some clarity: there's a clear cognitive difference (for you) between your close friendships and your relationship with this person, so you could, by all means, try to make this a relationship.

>There's gotta be a catch, right?
idk, this just sounds like normal-ish anxiety talking, which a problem for many people. I'd still say go for it.

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>>6809302
is asexual an excuse for small penis?

>>6809437
>there's a clear cognitive difference (for you) between your close friendships and your relationship with this person
I'm struggling with wondering if this is just strong platonic interest. Like that just because we have compatible romantic orientations, we're knee jerking into interpreting it as romance due to socialization.

>>6809473
Well that's a pretty unanswerable question considering that romanticism is pretty much all we live in. You can temper it with some reason, like "okay, my partner not being able to read my mind is not a sign that they don't love me, I actually do have to talk to them", but we can't get outside of it.
None of this really means that you shouldn't go for it (or that its "not really romance"), especially if you do believe that you're compatible.

>>6809504
Thank you. I really appreciate you being here for me, for everyone in acegen. I do feel a lot better about this.
I guess I'm scared and hoping for reasons to abandon this and run away. Giving up is easier than fighting for a fulfilled life. I shouldn't rely on the easy path.

>>6809531
I can definitely tell you're feeling very anxious about this. I don't think you should try to handle that feeling entirely on your own; try speaking to people you're close to irl about it, or probably the partner-to-be themselves, somehow, sometime, if you can put into words what you're anxious about.

>>6809469
Why do you ask? Are you looking for a small penis? Perhaps one to match your own?

>>6809469
The asexual community is mostly female.

>>6814304
And females have a small penis

>>6814489
The trans thread is two blocks down

If the asexual community is mostly female, then shouldn't it be easy for me to find a qt ace gf?

>>6815044
Well.
A number of them don't care about that sort of thing.

Can somebody become asexual due to psychological stresses or something? I haven't experienced any sexual desires/ felt the need to wank in a couple of months. I think I'm just too depressed to have a sex drive but I dunno if it's a forever thing or not and if that would be a blessing or a curse.

>>6815152

Sounds more like depression than asexuality.

>>6815044
You won't find your "qt 3.14 ace gf". You WILL probably find a qt female ace companion. We may not hump, but some of us just want someone to hug and be around.

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>TFW ace, with emotionally abusive GF
>When she's not abusive, we have fun
>Too afraid to leave her for fear I'll never find another GF accepting of aceness

What do? This is painful. She's a good friend, but her ridiculous rages and depression are exhausting to deal with and I don't really love her anymore. Should I leave her? Or will I not be able to find anyone else?

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>>6816560
Leave her.

Even if you don't find another person, it is better to be alone and free to mingle with friends etc than to be with someone who makes you suffer.

Consider that the times when you're alone you control what you're doing and can go DO something to bring yourself happiness. The times when you're with her you do not have control of the situation to improve your mood. You're at the mercy of her mental illness.

If you can find it in yourself to walk. Walk.

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>>6814557
>not knowing that the clitoris is an undeveloped penis

>>6816560
She sounds like she needs professional help. You are not responsible for being her unpaid therapist.

>>6816560
Make a list of the pros and cons of staying with her.

And then make a list of the pros and cons of leaving her.

>>6816738
acshually the penis is a mutant clit

>>6816790
Yeah, testosterone is a mutagen. Those poor animals just have a condition that we can't cure yet. It's quite saddening...

Is Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw asexual? I keep finding things that point to him either being bitter about sex and relationships, asexual, or just has a low libido.

Check this quote out:

>On second thoughts, let's not call it being 'asexual'. That feels a wee bit pretentious. 'Celibate' will do. I can still see the appeal of emptying one's grubby little speed bag, I'm just lost on why it's so important that you catch the residue in another person's organic waste paper basket.

>But having made the decision to not pursue any of this sex business anymore I've discovered a strange new world I never knew existed.

>It's like I've eaten spam a few times from a few popular brands and in a few serving suggestions, and found I'm not really keen on spam, 'cos it's salty and slimy and looks like something you might find in the alien queen's litter box. But I've found myself in a world that's completely obsessed with spam. People spend their entire lives in pursuit of spam. Every single advert on TV sells their product by placing it alongside spam. Movies have to work in at least one spam scene to reach the broadest audience. People break up and get divorced because they don't exchange enough spam. Soldiers are given time out to go have some spam. Low-risk prisoners are given spam visiting rights. People die for spam. Entire economies have been based around spam. Selling spam is the world's oldest profession. The lack of spam has been linked to mental disorders. The only thing getting teenagers through difficult puberty is the thought of one day getting to have spam of their very own.

>>6819018

>And when I explain to people that I'm not that into spam they tell me I must be some kind of hopeless cissy girl, or that I just haven't found the right spam yet. It feels like when a theist says "I'll pray for you." Or when a parent of some hideous mewling womb dropping says "You'll understand when you have one of your own." Quite infuriating. It's just tinned meat, guys.

>But on the other hand, as a white middle-class anglo-saxon male between the ages of 18 and 35, it's fun to be in a minority for once. Finally I've got my very own thing I can get offended at. This must be why gay chaps always seem to be having such a good time.

>>6819018
I hope not. I don't want that asshole self-proclaiming as the face of asexuality.

>>6819018
>>6819026

I love yahtzee. Have been a fan of him for years. This makes me love him more.

>>6819018
Literally who. And why is he wearing a fedora.

>>6819789
He's a games journalist. The one who coined the pc masterrace/console peasants meme and made it mainstream. He's famous for being really stingy with games and not getting bought by companies to write good reviews.

>>6819804
And he lives in Australia, where they embargo and censor games to a ridiculous degree, so he kind of picked a shitty profession.

>>6819804

He's also a games reviewer that doesn't give a score of any kind. He kicked off a wave of caustic critics that has only abated slightly

Mind you, Games Journalism kinda sucks. You have to play nice with the studios or you won't get review copies, yet you can't be honest if a game sucks because that pisses studios off massively. If you end up reviewing one of the Sacred Cow franchises and give it anything less than a perfect score, you get flooded with hate-mail from fanboys for not giving the latest installment a 10/10.

Also, >>6820566 They don't really anymore. They have an R-18 rating now, so the standards have been altered a little. I will admit that they refused to allow HM2:WN to be sold, but the studio pretty much said "download it anyway"

>>6809333
>>6809437
>>6809504
>>6809550
Well after spending much too many hours this weekend with this person, I can certainly say that I am smitten. This is absolutely not just platonic.
I'm also feeling sexual attraction, which is wigging me out. I am more grey-A than full ace, but I've absolutely never experienced arousal to this degree. It's usually fleeting and hard to cultivate. I've been buzzing for 36 hours. Crazy!

Maybe it's New Relationship Energy and I'll settle down into my more familiar aceiness later. We've sat down and had extensive conversation about sexuality. I think we might just be able to work this out.

>Cynical side of me is asking if this is wishful thinking and that a couple months of turning down sex will result in turned tail
>But that's just cause my sexual ex said that it would be fine but it was harder to handle than expected
>But my ex was a virgin and this person is not and has had a year long celibate relationship before
>Did I just hit the jackpot?

Acegen. I think I'm writing a success story for us.

>>6819756
Nah, he's too anxious to be a face of anything. Plus, he thinks that asexuality is dumb, last time I checked.

>>6820717
Is not giving a score a way for him to intentionally dodge the fanboys' hate?

Granted, I always thought that game reviews use too many significant figures. Do you really need to delineate the difference between a 71% and 72% (or a 7.1 and a 7.2)? You could probably even reduce it to a 1-bit scale: a perfect score of 1 if a game can in any way justify the time and resources used to make it, and a 0 if it cannot.

>>6822741

It's more to dodge the whole "Four Point Scale" problem. Look at any games journalism that review games. Chances are that the score will be between 7 and 10 because anything lower than a 7 implies that there is something horribly wrong with the game. Considering that most publications will give points for not bricking the console/computer, that says something. I'd prefer an arbitary scale akin to what some Boy Scout magazines use along the lines of "Buy, Borrow or Bin", which points out what games you should own, what games you should borrow and what games you should leave in the bargain bin. A Star rating doesn't work, as you could easily equate a star with a certain percentage depending on if it is 5 stars or 10 stars.

Also, Metacritic can't get a score from you if you don't GIVE a score to begin with. Coinsidering how Metacritic ended up screwing over the creators of New Vegas, I wouldn't support it either.

I prefer the Jimquisition, as I have problems with Yahtzee Croshaw. At least Jim is honest about his self-aggrandizement and is willing to call a spade a spade and say that a game is shit if it is shit

>>6824110
>self-aggrandizement
Yahtzee calls himself shit all the time

Just discovered squish is a thing. I may have a squish. I'm so confused right now

First things first, you guys fap? Cause the two main things that make me think I may not be asexual is my "squish" and the fact that I still masturbate

>>6824333
I just masturbated to a chick getting fucked by a big dicked orc.

Yes, you can fap and still be asexual.

>>6824352
Lol asexuals are such a fucking joke.

You obviously are sexually attracted to the sexual imagery of porn.

You obviously enjoy the sexual stimulation of masturbation.

You obviously are just as sexual as every other adult human with sex organs.

>tl;dr you're special snowflakes, "asexual" is a meme

>>6824352
All right. Most of the time I do it cause I feel lonely, not cause I'm genuinely horny anyway.

Second point is my squish. This girl I've known for almost three years now. I'd like to be with her, but not sexualy, I mean, I have thought about it in a what if scenario since its a thing couples "do" and I'm not bother by the fact. And sure, I can see myself holding hands, hugging, etc. but not much else.

As for sex, I've never really enjoyed it, but then again and I thoughtits because I've never had sex with someone I truly cared about (just casual sex with friends) every time I do it I keep hoping I'll enjoy it, but it just hasn't happened

>>6824415
OP here. I don't like porn, the only times I masturbate is because I feel lonely and I'm literally alone, not horny. I've also had plenty of orgasms, never really thought it was a big deal. I could live without it just fine

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>>6824429
>"I only masturbate because I feel lonely"
>"It's n-not like I'm horny, or like orgasms, or anything"
holy fucking shit

>>6824415
BRING OUT YOUR BINGO SHEETS, BOYS.

>>6824448
What's your opinion on asexuality? Do you think they're just repressed or just ronry virgins who want an excuse? Or tumblrinas?

>>6824443
You masturbate to achieve orgasm, you silly fool.

>>6824448
I actually don't, I mean I don't hate them. But if you asked me to chose between orgasms and something else. I'd choose something else. In my experience people go with sex almost 100% of the time while I'm bored by it

>>6824461
I honestly don't know, probably a little of all three.

>>6824468
>"I don't hate them"
Yeah because orgasms feel good dumbass. Just because you claim you'd rather have a cookie or whatever doesn't mean you are "asexual". If you were "asexual" you would not enjoy sexual stimulation, which would require your to be a eunuch or something.

>>6824480
Actually, asexuality is based around the criteria of not having sexual attraction.

A good example of this is a closeted gay male having sex with a female and achieving orgasm.

If you want, you can just scroll up and read the stuff we have in the OP for people who want to learn more.

>>6824508
I've already pointed out how completely nonsensical it is to claim that you don't experience sexual attraction, and then beat off to fetish porn, right?

>>6824480
Here's the thing, I don't enjoy it, not really. When I cum I always think something along the lines of "why do I even bother? It's so meeh"

>>6824517
I'll admit I'm sexual when you can beat me off through my computer screen fampai, real life boys are icky

>>6824522
So you reach down to your sex organs, pleasure yourself sexually, achieve orgasm (while loudly insisting that you're not enjoying the orgasm, of course), and then you just go on with your life seriously believing that you are 100% not interested in sex?

Wowzers. Someone really ought to fuck some sense into you, Anon, because you are CRAZY.

>>6824528
Denial.

>>6824517
This is going to sound really weird but I mostly watch porn for the feelings involved. I like the idea of domination but I don't want to actually be involved in the act. It's just not my thing.

I'm not really focusing on the people. I'm focusing on the interaction between the groups.

Also, asexuality is a spectrum so there's people who are full stop "no arousal and masturbation" and others who are not.

Think about the kinsey scale how it goes from full on gay to full on straight.

>>6824565
>I mostly watch porn for the feelings
Right, and my dad reads Playboy for the articles.

>asexuality is a spectrum
Asexuality is a joke. Unless you've been castrated or something, you can absolutely be sexually aroused by stimulating your sex organs. It's just physical. Get over it.

I don't understand why ace people think they belong in the LGBT group. If you want your own support group, that's cool, but if you're straight and cis, I dont think you would consider yourself LGBT

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>>6824585
>>6824578
I never get why you guys come all at once rather than spreading the shitposting out over the life of the thread

>>6824600
This whole general is nothing but shitposting the same stale meme over and over.

>>6824555
It's more like I keep hoping I enjoy it because everyone says its so awesome. Like the post about Yhatzee said, we live in a world of spam. You're told your entire life you're supposed to like spam so you try to force yourself to like it. You eat tons of cans of spam, try different brands, etc. All because up until recently it never crossed my mind that hey, maybe not everyone has to like spam

>>6824578
Actually, I've heard Playboy has good articles because of the writers they tend to get.

>Asexuality is a joke. Unless you've been castrated or something, you can absolutely be sexually aroused by stimulating your sex organs. It's just physical. Get over it.
I'm sorry but did you read the gay man with woman analogy above? Does that mean that homosexuality is just physical?

>>6824585
I believe it started to happen when people started to incorporate "queer" into the acronym. It also could be that heteroromantic and cis asexuals felt as though they belonged within the lgbt community due to their minority status. Take my words with a grain of salt, though.

>>6824600
They're not actually shitposting. You haven't seen true shitposting.

>>6824607
>check ur hormones will never be a meme
s u f f e r i n g

>>6824612
You're biologically wired to enjoy that spam. Only psychological repression is preventing you from accepting this.

>>6824616
Homosexuality refers to attraction to same-sex sexual characteristics. Heterosexuality is the opposite, bisexuality is when you like both types of sexual characteristics. There is no such thing as asexuality unless the brain's hormonal sex drive is removed by castration. You might have a low sex drive, you might even have convinced yourself you're not attracted to other people at all, but good old fashioned physical stimulation always reveals the true and very sexual nature of a person (as long as they have sex organs)

>>6824638
So if a gay man achieves an orgasm by a woman that makes him....?

>>6824638
We're hard wired to do a bunch of primitive shit. We don't do half of it anymore

>>6824649
no but see your brain does the sex thing with the dicks or the vaginas or both it can't do the sex thing with nothing that doesn't even make sense trust me you fucking retard i have 3 phds and my dissertation was in internet arguments

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>>6824678

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so much denial in this thread

go fap and pretend not to like it you memelords

>>6824697
You do realize not all asexuals masturbate, right? An anon said that in a previous reply to you.

I'd just like to point out that if any of the people arguing ace isn't a thing are lgbt, you're the reason the world is in such a shitty place. You're the reason we still talk about equal rights and all that.

By arguing ace isn't a thing or its just denial or whatever you're doing exactly what all the homophobes out there do

>>6809469
>Be asexual
>Have an 8 in. penis
>Once an ex had gotten mad at me after finding out

So short answer, no. Long answer, no but an asexual with a penis likely wouldn't mind if it was small.

>>6824705
>I swear I never ever touched myself down there!
>I don't even like pleasurable sensations!
sure.

>>6824716
So are you done getting your kicks or are you going to try to change our minds for a little bit more?

>>6824711
Most say it isn't lgbt because of
>lack of oppression (because apparently you need to be oppressed to be in the lgbt group)
>lack of knowledge on asexuality (general ignorance)
>reeeee normies get out this is my special club

>>6824716
>Claims he sticks his waste disposing orifice in someone else's waste disposing orifice
>Angry when other people say that's weird

show me on the doll where the mean man touched you anon

>>6824739
inb4 "all humans like sex" nonsense

>>6824480
>"If you were "asexual" you would not enjoy sexual stimulation, which would require your to be a eunuch or something."

Well orgasms do by definition feel good unless you have some crossed nerve endings however if you are repulsed by sexual contact and/or have no interest in it the asexual label is the boot that fits. Anyone put into a sexual situation resulting in orgasm will have their pleasure centers go off in their brain but just because a guy can cum from another guy having sexual contact with them doesn't mean they're gay, just means someone was willing to work the spigot.

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>>6824748
>just because a guy can cum from another guy having sexual contact with them doesn't mean they're gay

>>6824748
inb4 stubborn repetition that asexuality is just something made up and probably a comment about how we're all losers.

>>6824759
Sounds dumb, but think about it. Say you're straight as he'll, and this dude comes and says "fuck me or I kill everyone you love". Now say you do it, you're gonna cum because physical stimuli, but are you gay? Do you now feel attraction to other men instead of women?

Hell, think about Skyfall, Bond fucked a dude just to keep his cover

>>6824776
I mean shit I don't think I worded it "dumb". I can see how someone just reading over that would be confused at first but if you actually read it I don't see the error.

This conversation makes me so tired. I wish this was as easy as denial. Then my relationships maybe wouldn't have failed.

>>6824868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdHTnpgpLDc

>>6824868
Same, we've debated this so many times...

>>6824737
why do you need to be in the lgbt group? go make your own group

>>6825394
Why do trans people need to be in LGBT? Unlike lesbian, gay and bi, trans is not an orientation.

>mfw they say A is for ally

>be male
>lust after women
>talk and artificially create a relationship
>feel no attraction towards them during refractory period
>force relationship since they're legitimately in love
am i asexual?

>>6825412
Trans should leave. It's only a matter of time desu.

>>6825640
No, but you might be aromantic.

>>6825640
>should I normalize my emotional dysfunctionality?
No. You simply don't love her back at the moment. Be honest with her.

Not saying dump her, as you may yet come to love her, but let her know what's going on.

>>6824638
So, a homosexual feels attraction to the same sex, and a lack of attraction to the opposite sex.
A hetero sexual feels attraction to the opposite sex, and no attraction to the same sex.
You seem to understand that bisexuals experience ATTRACTION to both sexes and NO LACK OF ATTRACTION, so what makes it so hard to understand that it's possible for someone to feel a LACK OF ATTRACTION to both sexes and NO ATTRACTION?

>>6824638
I would like to hear your definition of sexual attraction, because sometimes it sound like you think it's the desire to have sex with members of particular sex(es), but at other times you seem to believe it's the ability to be aroused by physical stimulation by members of particular sex(es).
The latter makes zero sense. I feel no desire to have sex with a bear's corpse, but if I pumped my dick in and out of it's ass I would get hard and eventually ejaculate. A biological response to sexual stimulation doesn't signify a desire for that contact.

>>6826956
Even bisexuals are not attracted to the vast majority of humanity. being "attracted to a sex" is really just shorthand for being attracted to a select few members of that sex. Consider all the people you meet each day that you would never ever want to have sex with, even if they belong to a sex you're allegedly attracted to.

Everyone is asexual with regards to the vast majority of the human population. Some of us just take it a few people further.

>>6826956
Asexuals in a nutshell right here. They're actually hardcore sexual fetishists with huge repression issues, every single time.

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>>6827127
Nevermind. If you refuse to correctly interpret that analogy, there's truly no hope for you.

>>6827278
How does it feel to be a living meme?

>>6827297
Sorry, I think you meant to reply to yourself.

>>6827768
Don't mind them. It's obvious they just want to mess with you and don't actually care.

>>6827895
Yes, I'm well aware.

>>6809302
I'm fairly certain I'm the lacking interest or desire in sex. I kind of have to force myself to feel anything for either gender, and orgasming really doesn't do anything for me.

Also, I've never had any attraction to dicks or vaginas. Always thought this was some kind of meme condition.

Apologies in advance if this is an ignorant/offensive question. Do asexuals have gender preferences (e.g. straight/gay/bi) for partners? It seems to me that if you don't experience sexual attraction, that makes you open to a relationship based off the individual rather than a combination of attraction to the person's gender + character.

I don't know if what I wrote makes sense. Basically, since you don't experience sexual attraction, gender doesn't seem like it should be an inhibitor when it comes to relationships. Thoughts?

>>6827969
In all honesty that's actually a very good question and while I personally get it a lot I really don't mind since it's not someone being an asshole. For me personally my criteria is basically whether or not the person is feminine. I can't say for sure why I have the preference though my best guess is that feminine people tend to be both emotionally and physically softer people. So the cuddling is way better and the conversation seems to flow better. I can never hold conversations with other guys.

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>Scrolling through OkCupid
>Set matches to filter asexuals
>Find qt with 90%+ match
>Check out their profile
>"Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual, Queer."
>MFW

>>6827969
In contrast to the acenon above me, I prefer men (I'm a guy). Women just don't appeal to me that much. While I could see myself doing it with either, I would preferentially choose a man.

>>6828004
>>6828028
Interesting answers. I've only dated my opposite gender but I'm fairly certain that I would also be fine in a same-sex relationship. I don't really advertise or try to pursue a same-sex relationship though because it's tough enough being accepted as an asexual; I don't need to make it harder on myself by being in a gay relationship if I can "choose" to be in a straight one instead.

>>6827969
Yes. It's called the "split attraction model," and most people don't ever think about it because most people's romantic interests line up with their sexual interests. However, romantic and sexual attraction are different beasts, and for most asexual folk, they don't line up at all.

And gender is more than just what genitals someone has. The way we're treated due to our gender has a lot to do with how people's personalities are formed. How femininity and/or masculinity are performed says a lot about someone's personality, too.

>>6828075
So you are saying there is gender preference? Tying personality to gender roles seems a little ironic to me for being in /lgbt/; if you prefer males because of how they act and not because of what they're packing, it seems like you're just attracted to the type of person who (by antiquated definitions) is a strong, self-sufficient individual (manly), as opposed to someone who is dependent and supportive (womanly).

What >>6828004 describes makes more sense to me than what >>6828028 posted - if there is no sexual attraction, why at all is there preference towards a specific gender? Is it aesthetics (physical appearance is more pleasing)? How do manly women and effeminate men factor into the equation?

... While typing this I realized that I am probably opening a whole 'nother can of worms regarding gender and sex identity. If this comes off as argumentative then I apologize. I am curious and I suppose am also trying to understand myself better in the process.

Alright, so I'm really confused about things right now. I've been experiencing gender dysphoria (mtf) for a few years, and it's mostly just been a physical thing, but in the past month or so I've been feeling like really bad after masturbating, I feel uncomfortable whenever I have sexual thoughts, and I've just generally felt disgusted with male sexuality (Christ, I sound like a tumblr user saying that). Recently, I've been kinda bothered with my genitals as well. I haven't really been bothered by them before.

Do you all think this is an ace thing, or is it an extension of tranny things?

(I apologize in advance if I piss someone off by leaving my 'containment thread' or something. I'm still kinda young and confused as fuck with things.)

>>6828245
And also saying that what someone is packing makes them male or female is also a bit ironic to be in /lgbt/ but here we are.

Men and women are raised and treated differently by society, and they act differently because of this. Are there exceptions? Of course. But there are lots of traits that are very common in one gender but not the other.

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is todd /acegen/'s mascot? if not he should be

sorry i'm a visitor here

>>6828245
I am this anon >>6828028
The thing for me is I prefer a masculine aesthetic. I think a big part is that the guys I find appealing to look at are because I wish I could look like them, it's something I want for myself. Another thing is when kissing, I like the strength that typically comes from a man. It's not exclusively male of course, but generally so. Then there's stubble which gives a little texture when kissing. I like those things and generally speaking they come with men.
Another thing is that I can identify with and sympathise more with gay men than straight women. I find gay people are more understanding of asexuality than the straights. Being that I am not very experienced at all, that understanding is important, leading me to prefer the homosex.
Personally, I don't pay much attention to masculinity/femininity and gender/sex business.

>>6828431
My (grey) asexuality doesn't manifest as sex repulsion, so I can't really relate there. For me, it's more of a not caring.

Due to the fact that this is new, and how you're having issues about your genitals, I'd probably point to it having to do with your being transsexual.

I'd suggest for you to explore more about what it is that you feel bad about and what parts of it are making you uncomfortable.

>>6828532
I watched the last two seasons in 6 days just for that "I think I might be nothing" scene. Great show.

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>>6828874
my favorite part of that subplot was when he was alone on the bed (in my screenshot) — right after he had awkwardly turned down sleeping with that girl from his childhood. The music riff for that part was so perfect, and he just seemed so incredibly confused and unsure of himself, drawing circles in the bed...

>>6828825
I think what's mainly making me feel bad is that my sexual thoughts and fantasies make me feel predatorial. It's not because I like porn where people get raped or anything like that- that kind of stuff really bothers me. I think it's probably projection or a self hate thing over being male, but I feel like one of those nu-male cucks that believe all men are inherent rapists or something along those lines. Like I get really bothered about how I, and just guys as a whole are constantly horny because of what I can only assume is primitive instincts that all guys naturally have.

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>>6828953
He has the best scenes in bed.

>>6828972
>Like I get really bothered about how I, and just guys as a whole are constantly horny because of what I can only assume is primitive instincts that all guys naturally have.

This isn't a thing. You're taught from a young age that boys and men should be hypersexual and view women purely as sexual objects and to prioritise sex as the #1 life goal. There is no primitive instinct that men have that makes them horny 24/7.

>>6829074
I guess the social aspect and conditioning is what I'm getting upset about, then. Bear with me, I'm a fucking retarded teenager.

>>6829222
Do you think you might be upset about it because you don't relate to it? Since you don't feel like a man, maybe trying to treat your brain and body like a man's (well what you've been told is like a man's) is what's upsetting you?

And I wasn't trying to harp on you or anything, so I hope it didn't come across that way.

>>6829256
I guess I just don't like relate to it. I just find the idea of my biggest life goal being to fuck women is really disgusting. So probably. Like I've never really fit in with most other guys on top of being a shy nerd but I don't think there's ever been a point in my life where I said "man, I'd like to fuck that chick".

And nah, no offense taken. I didn't feel like you were trying to rip on me or anything.

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>>6828016
Why can't people just say what they mean instead of formulating these obscure labels that we then have to look up?

>>6825412
Trans people are oppressed, and many LGBT progression is headed by T people. I don't see why ace people need to coup together with people that actually suffered from their status.

>>6830325
Whether or not you're oppressed isn't what makes you queer.

Regardless, ace folks face plenty of oppression. Asexuality isn't taken seriously or even as real, aces are seen as inherently broken, our relationships are seen as inferior, and we face corrective rape.

>>6809383
>I can't think straight.

Of course, I mean, you are asexual, not hetero!

*ba dum tss*

>>6809302
Hi acegen. I come from elsewhere on this board, and am most definitely not asexual. But I have a question for yall
If my understanding is correct, some asexual people are sex repulsed, and some aren't. That said, how many asexuals are willing to give sexual favors or even have sex for ulterior motives? For example, women in straight relationships often give blowjobs with no personal enjoyment in the act, simply to make their partner happy or provide positive reinforcement for desired behavior. Moreover, there have undoubtedly been asexual women in marriages throughout history who let their husband fuck them not just on the wedding night, but on a regular basis, and perhaps not just in those situations where he would rape her if she didn't want to anyway. At least some of them did this not just because it was expected of them, but also because they knew it would keep the relationship on an even keel to do so. This begs the question:
Do some asexual people in (romantic or otherwise) relationships engage in sexual acts with their partner, for whatever reason (other than a desire to have sex) and not really suffer for it? It's just another thing, like doing the dishes or brushing your teeth?

can somebody explain to me what queerplatonic is
i get the platonic part
i dont for the love of cock where the queer part come in

>>6830666
Queerplatonic is how aromantic folks describe relationships they have that they feel are beyond friendship but aren't romantic. They usually require commitment and effort like a romantic relationship would, but since they don't experience romantic attraction, for them, it's a separate kind of relationship.

>>6830677
i get what a platonic relationship is i have few myself dont get me wrong here

my question is what the difference between platonic and "queer"platonic?

>>6830509
>Do some asexual people in (romantic or otherwise) relationships engage in sexual acts with their partner, for whatever reason (other than a desire to have sex) and not really suffer for it?
>It's just another thing, like doing the dishes or brushing your teeth?
Sure they do. It's just a chore.
While being the repulsed kind, I couldn't deny someone important to me their natural needs. I'm not that selfish.

But I'd really rather not, so if you're asking for your relationship with someone please don't force it.

>>6809469
You'd wonder how many people suddenly want to ride your dick once they notice that you won't let them but haven't understood that you'll never let them yet.

>>6824415
I can exclusively get off to 2D transformation sequences of fully clothed girls that show great distress during it.
I puke after regular sex, because I hate it.

Super normal like every other human being with sex organs.

>>6824517
Would it make more sense for you and be more acceptable if I called myself "exclusively 2D-voyeuristic-sexual" instead of asexual?
Sounds more special-snowflakey to me desu.

>>6824585
I had relationships with men and women before I found out that I hate everyone and nobody attracts me. I'm also ftm. My asexuality caused me my biggest griefs in life so far, since I pass well enough to go stealth.

>>6827969
I really don't care about their gender or sex at all, but I'm the type that would outright refuse sex forever, so it wouldn't really matter that much.

>>6828431
Welcome to bottom dysphoria! I'm an ftm from the other side. Female sexuality is fucking disgusting and I will not have a part of it!
Since I've hated that part of me for as long as I can remember, I'm waiting for surgery to figure out if I'm really asexual or just too dysphoric to ever consider intercourse. You're probably the latter, seeing how it all came with the increase in bottom dysphoria.

>>6830509
There are plenty that do, but it's not to their enjoyment. I usually offer my partner an open relationship in which they can do whatever they want and I stay loyal and monogamous to them, but won't offer sex.
It's crazy but nobody ever took that offer up, instead weeks of arguments and a break-up always followed. Which I don't get, at all, which is why I would pose the question of an explanation back at non-aces here.

>>6830362
can you bring up figures on corrective rape? I hear all about it but it never have been proven that it was due specifically to asexuals and not homsexuality, and trans abuse

>>6830773
May I ask what you find disgusting about female sexuality?

>>6829725
>>6828016

Half of those aren't even compatible with each other

>>6830783
It's because humpers don't see sex as a utility. It's not like they just need a certain amount of sex and don't care where it comes from. They attribute more significance to sex than it actually has because their brains tell them lies about anyone who will consent to their disgusting meat dances. Sex is the only reason they get into relationships and the only way they evaluate people they might share their lives with. If their partner doesn't want sex, not only do they see that partner as useless, but they will probably also take it as an insult and get really mad or depressed about their looks.

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First time posting in one of these threads. Not asexual I just have questions.

I looked at this pic related linked in OP. Why do you have such set in stone ideas about types of attraction? I mean the idea of romantic attraction and being "heteroromantic" or "homoromantic" seem bullshit to me. I don't believe romantic attraction is even a thing, to me romantic attraction is just what happens when you are sexually attracted to someone who you are also great friends with. Moving on from that, The separation of "sensual" and sexual attraction seems even more arbitrary. Every relationship unique and therefore everyone is going to have different desires. Just because you don't have the same desires as another couple may have to for example have sex all the time doesn't mean you're desires to be do "sensual" stuff doesn't also count as sexual attraction. I'm not trying to be rude, I do genuinely believe people who describe themselves as asexual and I also understand people don't experience the same desires everyone else does, I just don't really see the point in trying to define yourselves further than either asexual or not asexual when each relationship is entirely unique.

>>6831097
also adding onto this,

If "romantic attraction" is the desire to be in a relationship with someone that's void of any sexual attraction, then how can a person be "heteroromantic" or "homoromantic"? If there's no sexual attraction, then the appearance and sex of the other person is not limiting who you want a relationship with. What's limiting it then? If you purely only experience romantic attraction then you shouldn't have a problem being in a relationship with both men and women.

>>6830787
Different anon.

I've looked for statistics on this sort of thing, but quite honestly you can hardly find any statistics on asexuality at all, (let alone accurate statistics) since it's not taken seriously by a sizeable portion of the population.

Those of us who want statistics and sources will unfortunately have to wait until people actually care enough about asexuals to perform any studies.
Until then we're stuck with the likely inaccurate data collected by unprofessional people who are as eager for concrete sources as we are.

>>6830702
Yes that seems like a bad premise for a relationship. Sex, for me, is ruined when I can tell my partner isn't into it. And tho I'm fairly certain she isn't asexual, there are somewhat long periods of time (a month, sometimes more) where her libido is so low that it mimics being asexual. What's more is she doesn't masturbate and isn't sure she's ever had an orgasm (which means she probably never has). So it's led to a great deal of insecurity on my part.
But that's very sweet of you to give the occasional blowie or whatever, despite being bored and possibly grossed out the whole time.
>>6830783
That's fucking sad. Honestly, that would be a great situation, but it never seems like it in the beginning. If they've never experienced polyamorous feelings, then in that time and place, when they're in love with you, then you're the only person they want to fuck, and it's frustrating to not be able to do that. I can't say I would have been one of the ones to staybin a relationship with you before this relationship. But now, I wish I had someone like you.

>>6831097
>>6831126
Ace/aro anon here.
Since I don't experience either, I find it hard to explain the difference, but I'm sure that that will also apply to asexuals who experience romantic attraction, to some degree.

What I'm trying to say is that you may not find people here who can really explain the difference in the depth that you seem to desire, though im sure people will try.

What I would recommend to you is asking this question to someone who's aromantic and experiences sexual attraction, or better yet, whose sexual and romantic attraction don't line up (ex. a homosexual heteroromantic), as someone who experiences the two different attractions to two different genders would have more experience to give you the answers you seek.

Go forth and discover!
(And don't forget to bring back your findings, because I'm interested in what others have to say)

>>6831015
Note: I am the non-asexual person in this thread
>they attribute more significance to sex than it actually has because their brains tell them lies
Very true
>sex is the only reason they get into relationships and the only way they evaluate people they might share their lives with. If their partner doesn't want sex, they see that partner as useless
Often untrue, and relationships based purely on sexual attraction are usually doomed to fail anyhow.
>they will probably also take it as an insult and get really mad or depressed about their looks.
True, I'm sure. They can't possibly understand why you don't desire them the way they do you, and so to them, it's the same as every other rejection they've had. The difference is, you don't want sex with anyone, not just them.
Non-asexuals do see sex as the logical next step in romantic relationships, a culmination of trust and desire, an opportunity for intense bonding and closeness (and pleasure).

>>6830700
To quote the anon you're responding to
>relationships they have that they feel are beyond friendship but aren't romantic.
>beyond friendship
Simple platonic friendships don't often ask for commitment and effort either.

I've never had a queerplatonic relationship, so I can't really relate. But that's my understanding of it.

I think some of my more close and physically intimate friendships might be described as queer platonic, but we just kinda go with the flow. Personally , we don't find the need to label these things. I can see how it would comfort others, though.

>>6831233
So it's true that they don't just see sex as a need like any of their other needs. It's not like the need for food or water, where you could get it at home or at work or anywhere else and it doesn't really matter. Sex is like if you insisted that every single meal you ever eat be cooked for you by someone you personally like, and also they aren't allowed to ever mention that this imposition you're putting on them to cook for you is annoying and completely unnecessary.

>>6831356
no, most don't see sex like that, and frequently the slut-shaming that takes place even on this board is based on the exact ridiculous attachment to monogamy you are describing.
The only difference is, that a person can remain abstinent or satisfy that need themselves (to a certain extent), rather than impose that need on an asexual partner or seek satisfaction elsewhere.
if you're cool with your partner having lots of toys and viewing porn and masturbating in private, then there's no reason they would pester you too much.
Now if you can't handle flirting and playful touching, that's your problem. If you cuddle with a romantic partner, and they try to turn it into sex, you should expect that. It's natural for them. Cuddle times often turn into sexy massages without any actual sex between me and my partner. Neither of us wants to put in the effort of sex, but it's on our mind, so we grope each other. Does it really piss you off to have someone touch your puss/dick?

>>6830677
"Queer" traditionally means strange or different, so I imagine it signifies that it's a platonic relationship, but different from the general idea of a casual friendship

>>6830700
Did you not read what I wrote or are you just too stupid to understand it?

>>6830787
I don't have any figures, sorry. As someone else stated, there haven't been many studies done on ace folks. I can tell you that I've been sexually assaulted because of my asexuality, and I know other ace folks who have, too. There are definitely non-ace queer folk and trans folk who also have been correctively raped. I'm not trying to say it's solely an ace issue.

>>6831097
If you don't consider yourself aromantic, and the only difference between your friendships and romantic relationships is that you're fucking the person, I feel bad for you and your partner(s). Romantic attraction is very much a thing.

>>6831126
There are differences between men and women besides what's between their legs.

>>6831184
Libido and asexuality have nothing to do with each other.

>>6831428
Which is literally what I described.

>>6831390
I should have been more clear. What pisses me off is that open relationships don't work because most humpers can't separate sex from relationships in their minds even if there's another way for them to get off. I would love nothing more than to have another person to dump all my sex-based chores onto, someone who doesn't even see them as chores. But you can't do that without ending the relationship.

>>6831390
>Now if you can't handle flirting and playful touching, that's your problem. If you cuddle with a romantic partner, and they try to turn it into sex, you should expect that. It's natural for them. Cuddle times often turn into sexy massages without any actual sex between me and my partner. Neither of us wants to put in the effort of sex, but it's on our mind, so we grope each other. Does it really piss you off to have someone touch your puss/dick?

The level of NOT GETTING IT here is fucking outrageous.

>>6830509
I did and heard of others doing the same. One of the biggest things about doing so is making sure the other party doesn't realize it and that you too are 'also' enjoying it. Both men and women get really butthurt if their partner isn't also enjoying themselves(at least as far as they can tell).

Problem is being convincing can be rather tricky when your ace because you both have to fuck them and make it look like your into it. So not only do you need to fuck them you ALSO have to make it like your enjoying it too! Much easier to do if your not an ace as then you only have half of the problem.

That is all assuming an ace isn't outright disgusted by sex and are merely neutral towards it. Even so you still gotta make it look like your enjoying it which then makes people think your lying about being an ace(or get pissed when you admit to the acting).

>>6830783
To most people sex and a romantic relationship go hand in hand. Its partly why they get so butthurt when they are cheated on or someone wants an open relationship.

In truth there is a mixture of reasons but when you get down to its a breach of 'trust' and 'not being good enough'. Both of which people get really anal about.

If your really that desperate and just can't handle sex look into poly.

>>6830787
Its a thing for both lesbians and even guy gays. So it never surprised me that aces would also suffer from it. Mostly because when you get down to it its for the same reason.

So your best bet is looking into the stats for gays and lesbians who had it happen to them.

>>6832527
I thought not all asexuals were sex repulsed. Is it really that every time your genitals get touched your PTSD is triggered and your butt blasted?Seriously, if you can't handle typical human interaction, then that really is your problem. Stay in your apartment at all times and have everything you need shipped in. Either that, or date acefags exclusively.

>>6832856
No, not all aces are sex-repulsed, that's true. But just because an ace is sex-repulsed doesn't mean they're not up for cuddling or kissing, and saying that those things are a natural precursor to sex and that every time they happen you should expect the allo person to turn it into sex is predatory and weird as shit. Some people actually respect other people's boundaries, you know.

I love how you've framed someone touching my genitals as "typical human interaction." Like, what level of reaching.

>>6831898
>Libido and asexuality have nothing to do with each other.
Pls do elaborate.

>>6832872
I like how you've managed to take your frame of reference and normalize it.
It's not predatory for someone to experience cuddling and kissing as foreplay, because cuddling isn't something that many adults actually do with people who aren't their lovers, and no one open mouth kisses someone for whom their feelings are platonic. And even those cultures where family members and friends share closed mouth kisses, it's brief, not extended. The shit is naturally associated with arousal and eventually sex.
I know how to respect someone's boundaries, but you kind of have to declare them, especially if they're different from most people's.

>>6832911
Libido is how often/easily you get aroused. This isn't related to whom you're attracted to. Bisexual people don't have twice the libido as heterosexuals just because they're attracted to both men and women.

>>6832817
>people think your lying about being an ace(or get pissed when you admit to the acting)
Well it's not really being honest, is it?
I'm not saying you have to tell your partner EVERY LITTLE THING but if you're going to cone out, it's fair for them to feel lied to about such a big part of you and the way the relationship worked. Their understanding of the chemistry between you was seriously mistaken, because you did something you didn't want to do. Like pretending to be a baseball fan to get into a relationship with someone who loves baseball, then deciding you can't do it anymore; of course they're going to be upset that they can't enjoy baseball with you, their favorite person. It's dumb that they'd dump you over it, especially if they could go to games with other people and have fun, but what can I say?

>>6832990
So what you're saying is that asexuals masturbate, but don't fantasize about anyone?

>>6833019
Some do, yes. Or some just feel that they're aroused and don't do anything about it. People get randomly aroused sometimes. Men can get random erections and women can randomly get wet. Sometimes your body is gearing to go even without any sexual thoughts in mind.

>>6827969
But I prefer guys and doing cute stuff w them
T. Gay asexual

>>6833019
Yeah.
Like someone said in the thread previously, asexuality is the "neither" option to sexual attraction as defined by gender of target, nothing more or less. You can still experiment arousal in any option.
Also, masturbating feels good to most people, so there's no real reason not to if you can/need it.

>>6832955
It's predatory to say that they only exist as a precursor to sex, and that allo people only ever do these things as a precursor to sex, and that ace people should expect sex if they dare to do any of these things.

I didn't say anything about doing this with someone you have platonic feelings for. I have no idea why you're bringing that up.

What does this general thinks about tumblr? No, seriously. Do you think the amount of terrible posting there showcase an accurate view of ace people?

>>6835859
Tumblr ace stuff is bs

>>6835859
It's full of teenagers. They might be a bit obnoxious, but they're only trying to find themselves, whatever they're presenting as. It's good to be able to discuss with people who feel like you. Bad to shut off from all the rest (but then again that's the recurring problem of all communities).
So, a mixed bag I don't really care for. Also I really hate the tumblr newspeak with a hundred weird words for extremely narrow definitions of being.

>>6830362
>ace folks face plenty of oppression
Like what? Receiving anonymous mail about how asexuality isn't real? Sure that could potentially be hurtful and offensive, but you guys aren't like trans people who it is legal to fire for being trans, and are regularly even killed just for being trans.
Aces talking about oppression is a joke.

>>6835859
Tumblr is great. It's nice to have a truly left-leaning website to discuss things on, since most other options are all right-leaning. I like seeing the ways that kids are labelling and categorising themselves. I wish I had that connection and discussion when I was figuring my shit out. Would have made things a lot easier.

>>6836376
I literally listed it in the next sentence. Learn to read, idiot.

>>6836376
Ah yes, a reused version of the old "gay people don't know the real oppression that black people have been through" argument.

Lemme guess, next you're gonna tell us how we're an insult to god?

>>6836393
The only actual oppression you mentioned was corrective rape, which isn't even an actual widespread practice for aces that's akin to say corrective rape for lesbians in the middle east. And just because some asexual people have been raped, that doesn't mean asexuals as a group are oppressed.

>>6836395
No, but you guys seriously need to stop the pity party. You are not oppressed.

>>6836435
>No, but you guys seriously need to stop the pity party.
99% of the time oppression even comes up in an ace thread, it's some asshole trying to make aces sound like whiners. I mean Jesus, even in this thread it was some whiny bitch complaining about even the possibility of adding an A to the "grand abbreviation", because asexuals aren't oppressed.

Aces don't talk about oppression. People who hate aces do, mostly to denigrate them.

You're not someone facing more oppression on this board, yo. You're just an asshole, being an asshole.

>>6836435
So unless someone is actively murdering ace people, we aren't oppressed? Fuck off.

>>6836480
>Aces don't talk about oppression
Except when they do and claim that they are actually being oppressed.
>You're not someone facing more oppression on this board, yo
And you know that for a fact, because asexuals are the most oppressed - I couldn't possibly have faced more oppression than you!

Really though the only "oppression" you guys regularly receive BECAUSE of your asexuality are anonymous trolls telling you to stop whining and get some dick.

>>6836484
>So unless I'm actively being oppressed, I can't say I'm being oppressed? Fuck you!

>>6830849
Bump?

>>6836518
How do you not understand that oppression comes from many layers of harm and isn't just straight up being murdered for something?

Again, fuck off.

>>6830362
>Asexuality isn't taken seriously
because asexuality is a joke m8, I'd bet anything you jack off

>So you reach down to your sex organs, pleasure yourself sexually, achieve orgasm (while loudly insisting that you're not enjoying the orgasm, of course), and then you just go on with your life seriously believing that you are 100% not interested in sex? >>6824555

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>>6838202
>oppression
>"The act of oppressing; arbitrary and cruel exercise of power"
Explain to me how the powers that be are cruel to "asexuals"

I'll wait

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>>6830757
The most honest way to say it would be to say:
>"I am too emotionally dysfunctional for sexual relations"
Which is not a sexual orientation, and neither is porn. It's very simple!

>>6838281
>>6838290
>>6838305
Dude, you gotta coordinate the memes within the same minute if you wanna make it look like you're not just one shit poster

>>6809302
Random question, but if you guys are here I figure it couldn't hurt. Have any of you ever heard of MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)? If so, what do you think of it?

I ask because a lot of those guys keep telling me (a straight man) that women are evil and that I'd be better off without sexual desire. I find the idea pretty weird, but then I realized that none of those guys were apparently aware that asexual people exist. So I was wondering if any of you ever encountered the same kinds of MGTOWs I did.

>completely ace
>listen to The Stingers songs from Jem
>tfw slightly aroused

I don't get it. Riot's singing voice is just awesome though.

>>6838721
For going their on way, they do a hell of a lot of talking about women; this tends to ruin their own argument.

In general though, I'd say I find it much easier to flaunt societal expectations than straight people seem to, among other things.

I haven't met any MGTOW crusading evangelists IRL though.

Any specific questions?

>>6839093
Physical stimulation /=/ want to have sex with something. You're still ae af my dude.

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>>6838576
Why would I want to appear to be multiple shit posters?

>>6840730

I am aware but it's still embarrassing. I thought that could only been invoked in me if the thing was nsfw.

>>6835046
I said you can expect your average person with normal ass attractions to persons of your gender to get horny and try to touch you in ways most people associate with sex after you cuddle for a long time. Some people are accustomed to cuddling as a platonic non-sexual act, but considering how most dominant cultures on earth are puritanical or value maintaining personal space bubbles, most people unconsciously associate cuddling with sex and get aroused. Just because someone gently massages your tits/ass/genitals doesn't mean they've raped you. And if that action pisses you off to no end, that's your problem. Just say no, and if they're not a jerk, they'll stop. If you're buttblasted anyhow, that means you have SJWtier thin skin and should probably kill yourself.

>>6836518
Aces face the same ridiculous line of questioning gays do:
>I have someone you should meet.
>what for?
>well, you don't have a bf/gf
>and?
>what are you, gay?
>n-no...
And from then on everyone they know assumes they're gay, including their employer and family.
This is what every ace in small cities and neighborhoods faces.
Aces are often assumed to be closeted gays. It's that simple.

>>6841003
If that person knows that I'm not interested in sex, and they do those things, that is sexual assault, you idiot. If they don't ask before they do those things, they don't have consent, and again, that is sexual assault.

Also, I'm not talking about platonic relations, as I've already stated. Asexual people experience romantic attraction. Cuddling can be a romantic activity. Lots of ace people enjoy cuddling with someone they're romantically attracted to. That isn't consent to push things further.

>>6841146
>sexual assault happens as soon as someone touches your giblets without asking first
and goodbye ridiculous tumblrinas

>>6841716
That is literally the definition.

>>6841716
>Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.

You actually could be sued for sexual assault if you touched someone's genitals without their permission.

Is it possible to be asexual and still have sexual dreams? I had this weird dream and now I'm questioning myself again.

>>6842396
I've tried playing around with lucid dreams just to test things out, but whenever I even think of anything lewd the dream starts falling apart.
I had one or two mildly sexual dreams back when I was ~14, other than that none I can remember.

There are differences between people here too, I'm sure.

>>6841841
>>6842184
You would never get a conviction under those circumstances. In a romantic situation, a little fondling is simply not assault by any reasonable definition. If you're too emotionally dysfunctional for such a relationship do not become physically intimate.

>>6842480
That's why I said "sued" not "convicted". Most people won't even sue for fondling and many a judge will not convict someone for something like that.

>>6842480
Whether or not someone would get convicted doesn't determine if the crime exists. Convictions for sexual assault are incredibly low regardless of circumstance. And yes, it is assault if you don't have the person's permission, you dumb fuck. It's people like you who perpetuate the myth of not being able to rape your spouse. Being in a romantic relationship with someone doesn't give you automatic access to their body whenever you'd like.

>>6842425
I'm just worried because I get sexual dreams now and then. However, the sex part is always cut out and replaced by masturbation or I'm simply placed into another body that is not currently having the sex so that I am looking at two strangers.

>>6842396
I have never ended up as a wet dream and I legitimately couldn't get it up for a long period afterwards.

Was actually kind of nice especially as I was a teenager at the time so the random boners were driving me particularly insane.

>>6819018
Having watched and read way, way too much of his reviews, podcasts, articles, and other stuff, I can say: no, he's not. He's said he goes through phases when he gets out of relationships where he doesn't feel like doing it again, and his friend said there was a time when he almost gave up on women, but no, he has sexual attraction.

>>6844809
Yes, that's why I was very iffy on giving him the term "asexual". It seemed like the source came from bitterness than from asexuality.

Any other aces have trouble understanding sexual people? Like, I get that sex feels good but I still don't understand why people have it if they don't want kids.

>>6842396

I remember my first psuedo-sexual dream happened when I was in middle school. It just involved kissing a boy and a girl iirc. It weirded me out but made me wonder if I was lesbian or bi or what. I'm aromatic, fyi.

I've had about two or three actually sexual dreams. They always make me feel uncomfortable when I wake up. Not exactly disgusted but not happy either. One was probably brought on by dysphoria.

>>6827969

First off, I prefer to use the term "companion"

I don't really have a preference myself for my companions. As I like quoting "It doesn't matter what someone's got in their pants if you never intend of getting into them". That said, I prefer females as companions,as most males my age either are idiots or have better things to do than deal with an asexual ASDer. That and I'm a fan of silent running and would probably get less dirty looks if I hug my female companions in public than guys. That's not to say I won't hug guys, it's just less awkward to do so with girls

>>6828431
I'd say what you are going through is an extension of tranny shit. This Ace doesn't really have sexual thoughts.

>>6829725
Sapiosexual has to be a fucking joke. Are they implying that they have actually looked up enough pseudolatin to be able to say that they only hump things that are sentient? As for the first two, You can't say in one breath that you have no sexual attraction, then in the next,say that you are only attracted to those you have a close emotional bond with. Wouldn't everyone after a while be Demi if one were to take that literally? I mean, humpers go through a phase where they hump a lot, then they get older, settle down and try to hump only one other person, who they have probably bonded with.

>>6835859
That is a very...open question. Asking what someone thinks of Tumblr is like asking someone what they think of 4chan. Parts of 4chan are better or worse than others. Same with Tumblr

>>6838281 see >>6840730

>>6842396
It just means that you need a good hard wank. I've never had a dream like that.

>>6846180
ORGASMS, SON!

>>6846180
I mostly just think of it as a kink I'm not into. You see the aspects and why people would like it, but it's just not your thing.

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I like the progression and the final conclusion.

>>6827127
greysexuals, maybe

>>6838290
we get denied love because people can't separate sex from love.

>>6856079
That isn't oppression. I even posted the definition for you, dumbass.

>arbitrary and cruel exercise of power.

So, for instance, this could mean wrongful imprisonment and workplace discrimination (such as what homosexuals experience)

There is no such issue for "asexuals"

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Hey, asexual female here. Not really a question about asexuality, just about libido instead?

I get aroused very easily and usually masturbate 1x per day, two times on one day being somewhat common to happen, and more than 2x happens AT LEAST once a month.
How high a libido is that, at least by female standards? Or is that pretty normal?

Just curious, I'm pretty lost on what is normal libido and wanted to confirm how high is mine.

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>>6856739
just a little too obvious there dudebro

>>6856739
I masturbate almost daily. Might miss a day here or there, and I might double up occasionally, too.

>>6846180
It's only their frontal cortices that don't want kids. Their powerful reptile brains and endocrine systems are demanding kids every instant of every day, and that's where "unwanted" babies come from.

>>6842887
There is such a thing as implied consent. If you'd ever been in a relationship, you might have noticed that not every act of intimate touching between romantic partners is heralded by a verbal request for permission, because ain't nobody got time for that.

You can attempt to use this gray area to your benefit if you want to bait someone into touching you and then accuse him of assault, but it probably won't benefit you much, especially if he probably won't even get convicted. If you need a display of power, you could just convince him that you *could* falsely accuse him of something if he ever gave you a reason to.

>>6856792
Guess it really is pretty high. Huh.

>>6859310
No, there isn't. "Implied consent" is a messy area that causes people to get hurt by people like you.

I wouldn't bait anyone. It would just literally be assault if someone touched my genitals without asking. You don't seem to understand that, and I'm terrified for all of the people you've harmed in your life.

>>6859824
>terrified

For a lot of people, sexual contact is extremely normal. And getting touched by an s/o Without permission not a big deal.

You just seem to think sex is this strange monstrous beast that couples need to pay sacrifices to before indulging in it. Yes and no, constant conversation of what's ok and what not.

Most people just go with the flow when it comes to sex. Just because you can't doesn't mean other people are the same

>find club at my school filled with awesome people who share my major (a somewhat unpopular major)
>it turns out they're all quite sexual
>there is literally a count on one whiteboard of various things seen out a nearby window such as nipples and such. This includes actions.
I'm just faking it with these people right now. How long do you guys think I can go before I fuck up?

>>6859310
Yeah and rape within relationships is a thing as well. It doesn't even have to get violent, but it still makes you feel like a used cum rag.

>>6842425
>but whenever I even think of anything lewd the dream starts falling apart
I've had that happen, too. Weird.

>>6842396
I used to have none but just in the past week I had like 2. I'm 19 and have yet to get a wet dream, though. To date I think I've had 4, maybe 5 sexual dreams. Only one of them actually contained me having sex, although I was basically being anally raped so I don't know how to count that. It was a weird dream. The rest have merely contained bits of sexual stuff. Only once have I woken up from one particularly horny (and that was this week. Don't know what's up with this week. May be beginning of the semester stress).

>>6861398
What major?

>>6861434
Physics. Not a popular major, at least at my school. Most people interested in that sort of stuff go into chem or engineerin.

>>6859885
Getting touched by anyone, including a significant other, without consent is assault.

I don't think it's a monstrous beast at all. It just requires consent. The fact that you think this is unreasonable speaks volumes about you.

Do friends go on dates? Clueless aromantic here,

>>6862305
No, closest thing to that is just hanging out.

>rarely fap
>not to porn anyway
>get on huge porn tracker to reach better trackers
>just build ratio
>over 2 tbs of porn
>most of it is really bland straight porn so that if someone finds it they dont think im weird
>actually find something im really into
>its really weird
>fap to it once
>die of guilt
what do?

>>6863156
Upload the porn and let us dig through your brain.

On a similar note I was having connectivity issues on some tracker so to test if the problems were at my end I jumped on a public one and grabbed whatever. Downloaded my first hentai, it was shit.

>>6863156
Fapping to porn isn't bad, senpai. You do you.

>>6863156
What's your fetish?

>>6862445

But I want to go to fancy restaurants and go on dates.

>>6863369
>up porn
idk how desu, blue board

>>6863740
c-cute girls tying me up

>>6863950
>c-cute girls tying me up
Have you talked to us about it before? If not, you have a bondage brother here

>>6864656
yeah i did once, about the weird tingly feel it gave me.
its really one of those things i have no idea what to do with because i couldnt image telling that to someone irl.

>>6863950
Isn't bondage a pretty common fetish? I don't think is a weird turn on at all

>>6863950
>bondage
holy shit, look at this vanilla catholic priest over here.

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>>6865169
>>6865253
well idk. knowing that doesnt make me feel any less guilty.
[spoiler] there's other things that give me tingly feel [/spoiler]

>>6865511
What if I say that bondage and restraint is probably the most common fetish? Holding someone down and fucking them is still bondage. Plus, it's gotten so common that people barely bat an eye at that shit.

>>6863876
I do too, but then it's romance level for me and most others. I like romance but I don't think most of my mates would be into it.

>>6865511
I know at least one for sure ace person with a bondage fetish. I have a hypno fetish which is basically the same but mental and not physical, lol.

>>6865511
As long as it isn't ceiling tiles, you're good.

>>6865540
>I have a hypno fetish which is basically the same but mental and not physical, lol
Wait, that's not even as stupid as it sounds at first. That's actually a pretty good explanation

>>6865533
>>6865540
>normie fetish
i guess that is a good thing, where do i find a qt grill that will tie me up?

>>6865854
That will tie you up but not have it be sexually involved? That'll take some relationship making and searching my friend

>>6865854
BDSM clubs. My local one has themed nights, and they have a monthly asexual night.
Bondage is one of the easiest fetishes to contexualize asexually.

I'm aromantic and I don't know what I want in a friendship anymore. I want someone who I can talk about anything with, hold hands, cuddle, go out with, be bffs forever, raise our kids together... But I'm also very introverted and aloof. I can't get close to people unless I have a very high level of affection towards you. Even towards most of my family I'm awkward. Plus, I don't actually like touching people much. I want to hold hands and be cuddly but I can't.

>>6863156

I've made it a point to no longer masturbate more than once a month. I find my sex drive to be annoying so I'm trying to kill it. I went 12+ years without sexual urges, I can go 60+ without it. However, I must admit I have a lot of kinks. I found there's little I can't masturbate to actually. Maybe since I'm ace and I have no interest in having sex, it means nothing really turns me off. I like erotica instead of visual stuff though.

>>6865854
Let me tie you up and gently non-sexually domme you, anon.

>>6869882
yes pls thx anon :3

This is definitely not my main board, but please let me vent and ask for a little guidance or advice.

I'm a straight man who married an ace girl. Neither of us knew she was ace until we got married and actually started having sex. Up until then I figured she and I were just on the same page about waiting until marriage, but it turned out I was revving my engine waiting for the green flag, and she was just standing at the starting line without a car. Go figure. Anyway, it's been a bumpy ride since then, but we seem to be making it work. Been married two years.

The one thing I can't get past is my need to be desired, or at least appreciated. I want her to get *something* out of being intimate with me. There's nothing we can do to satisfy that. She'll perform "routine maintenance" to keep my biological needs met, but I still have a deep-seated need for her to get something out of it too. I'm left feeling parasitic and ashamed that I want these things that are, at best, chores for the woman I love. When I think about the future and realize that I'll never satisfy this need I was born with, it's horrifying. Of course, this isn't easy on her either since it leaves my wife feeling inadequate and upset that she can't meet my needs.

What do? Divorce isn't an option. I love my wife. I'm staying with her even if it means a lifetime of not being emotionally fulfilled. That said, I'd definitely prefer not being miserable. Got any pearls of wisdom?

>>6872061
Practical advice: get divorced. Two years of marriage is not that long compared to the ~60 you'd probably spend together if you forced it.

Advice that you might actually be looking for: realise that everyone does things that could be considered chores for their significant other because they care about them. People cook for each other, people clean up after each other, people take the kids out for a day so someone can rest, people go shopping for each other, people rub their partners' backs or massage their feet, people do the taxes for their family, etc. If she doesn't mind doing sexual things on your behalf, is it really a huge deal if she sees it as a chore?

I am not ace but I for some reason seem to be attracted to ace people. Can anyone help me figure out why most of the people I have been attracted to are ace?

do asexuals
>masturbate
>hug
>hold hands

>>6872061
not an ace, but: become a swinger (with her consent)
you can fulfil your sexual need while continuing the mutual lifelong romantic relationship of your dreams

>>6872627
You honestly think a guy who waited until marriage for sex is going to start swinging?

>>6872587
Of course asexuals hug, there isn't anything inherently sexual in a hug.

For the others, some do, some don't. Masturbation doesn't exclude you from being asexual. For the record, I do both. However, this is coming from someone who is suspecting he's just plain ol' gay and not asexual anymore. The masturbation has been a very recent thing.

>>6872627
>Swinging
>Emotionally satisfying
Pick one and only one.

>>6872288
No sexual pressure? Don't feel objectified? Or maybe the other side; you feel intellectually and emotionally validated more easily, just due to the different focus?
Its hard to say

I should probably let this die (like my hopes of not dying alone) but eh

>>6878087
well...maybe you'll find someone later on. i'd be surprised if my parents have had sex since i was conceived.
it probably gets to be less important of a thing as you age

>>6872288
My best guess is that you find their psyche interesting. I think of it as missing a puzzle piece everyone else has and that space is filled with other stuff instead, so maybe there's a complexity you appreciate or something to that effect.

>>6872061
>I'm staying with her even if it means a lifetime of not being emotionally fulfilled.
This is a very very unhealthy mindset. This will lead to you being bitter and miserable. You'll feel like she owes you, that she should be grateful for the great sacrifice you're taking. And that sacrifice is... Putting up with her?
While on the other side, she'll feel equally unbalanced. She'll feel like that YOU should be grateful that she has sex with you at all.

You're dooooomed

>>6872587
In order;
Some do. Some don't
Yes.
Yes.

Just because we don't hump doesn't mean that we are cold,unfeeling automatons. We still crave companionship, we just don't want to deal with the bed-sport side of things.

>>6872061
Why isn't divorce an option? Just because the two of you are sexually incompatible doesn't mean that you have to sever all contact and hate each other. The fact that the two of you got married and have been together for two years speaks quite a bit for your friendship. I say get end the marriage, but keep in contact with each other. It's not fair on you to be unsatisfied and it's not fair on to feel like she's let you down. She may not ever be the mother of your children, but she might end up being an aunt to your future-children.

Look, you won't be the first couple that divorced because one of the couple discovered that they were gay and you sure as hell won't be the last. End the marriage and remain friends.

I think I'm asexual but I like drawing porn and gore.
Halp

>>6890222
There is actually no such thing as "asexual"

You are emotionally dysfunctional

>>6872061
Sex is not the only arena in which the two of you interact and do things of value to each other. Sex has a different relative value to the two of you, but a difference in relative value is the basis of all trade. That barista or plumber or whatever isn't serving you because they enjoy the experience as much as you do, no more than you enjoy paying them as much as they enjoy being paid, but the two transfers of value together add up to a mutually beneficial relationship.

She does things in bed as a favor to you, so now you need to find things to do as a favor to her in order to balance out the relationship.

As an aromantic all these romance movies and songs about romance ruin my mood lately. I worry I'll never have a close friendship on the same emotional level as romantic relationship.

>>6890222

>used to really like guro a few years ago
>it took me forever to notice many guro fans actually get aroused by the art

I just was vastly interested by manga and artwork that were violent. I wondered why much of the artwork was focused on girls but it never occurred to me that they thought it was hot. I only saw the explicitly sexual art as sexual.

I'm a writer but I've never written smut. I've thought of it but I just can't do it.

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>casually munching on a bag of candy
>notice these two
I just don't get it. Why?

>>6895163
Also the female one is mango flavored, it tastes like shit.

>>6890222
I draw porn too and I feel so proud when someone comments that they fapped to my drawings...

>>6895171
Do you not know that women taste of mangos?

>>6892942
You can definitely have a very close friendship. Those are a thing, They exist. Try putting yourself in odd scenarios. Break from the norm for a bit. See what happens.

>>6892971
>I only saw the explicitly sexual art as sexual.
Wait, are you saying that people find the specific characters or whatnot hot?

>>6902521

Some guro is obviously sexual. Either it's outright pornographic or it's fetishy. Most are just gorey though. I didn't think anyone saw anything sexual in something like Higurashi.

>>6856739
By female standards you have a very high libido. You could even outdo many men especially the older ones.

>>6856739
I am the same. I believe my libido is very high.
It often confuses me sexually, like am I really asexual if I am often aroused. Surely I am being aroused by something...

>>6892942
I'm not even aromantic and I agree. I feel like it cheapens the story. Can't two characters bond without having to fuck?

>>6890222
I spent a lot of time being fascinated by sexuality because I didn't understand it. That might have a part in it.

>>6907661
>I spent a lot of time being fascinated by sexuality because I didn't understand it. That might have a part in it.

>started watching porn because I didn't understand it
>discovered masturbation, apparently it'll help me sleep!
>oh, apparently porn helps
>masturbate to porn from the start just because
>to date can masturbate without just fine but instead I do it with because it gives me something to do and it's a habit

>>6892942
I feel ya man. I fear that sooner or later all my friends will all end up getting married and their relationships with me will get put on the back burner.
Hopefully you and I can both find some friends a bit less shallow than that, eh?

Has anyone ever considered sex just to know what it's like?

I'm a guy, which makes it a weirdly conflicting idea. On the one hand, is it really fair to reject something entirely without ever trying it? It's not particularly appealing from what I know of it thusfar, but the same is true of a lot of things that you only know you enjoy after trying it.

On the other hand, this brings me perilously close to thirsty beta status (since socially, being the guy it's expected i "make a move" and that's not something that would come naturally.), and I'm drawn to ignoring the paradigm that male virginity is something to be cast aside as soon as possible, instead of accepted or even embraced, and from that perspective losing virgin status just to confirm that I really don't want sex isn't appealing.


Having seen a lot of thirsty men, it's also partially a fear I would like it I suppose - because if I like it, I have to do it again, whereas right now I'm in relatively comfortable ignorance. But I've always got a push to make myself view uncomfortable truths over comfortable naivete, so I don't know.

>>6913657
Has anyone ever considered sex just to know what it's like?
No.

>On the one hand, is it really fair to reject something entirely without ever trying it?
Yes.

>but the same is true of a lot of things that you only know you enjoy after trying it.
This has never happened to me. Maybe get in touch with yourself more.

>because if I like it, I have to do it again
Not true.

>But I've always got a push to make myself view uncomfortable truths over comfortable naivete
Not experiencing sexual attraction isn't naïve.

>>6913657
Its boring, don't bother.

>>6862228
i mean to be fair, lots of times people do it and nobody minds.

if you're both doing sexual stuff and someone stops go go "hey can i rub your genitals" there's a serious risk of such autismo behaviour ruining "the moment"

but then i never like to discuss consent because it's a topic irrelevant to me so it feels wrong: i'm not going to be doing any genital touching even if invited, but i sound like a rapist the minute i try and defend how it would come around from a social perspective and at least 50% of the time be okay.

I just came out as asexual, and it feels fucking great. I'm finally not confused anymore, and everyone has been really supportive.

>>6916407
Wait, you didn't get any stupid questions or 'check your hormones' shit?
Wew.

>>6916382
You can ask in a less clinical way. If someone thinks that asking them for consent ruins the moment, then they probably aren't mature enough to have sex.

And yes, you do sound like a rapist defending this shit.

>>6809302
mentally challenged fucks get out

>>6917039
t. mentally ill tranny

>>6917015
Most people probably aren't mature enough to have sex, they still do. Since I'm not going to do it, it makes more sense for me to analyse it from a pragmatic perspective (i.e. what leads normal people to have sex) than from a perfect ideological perspective where both are consistently verifying consent.

Which I suppose gets into an annoying problem with explaining things in general: An explanation is not a justification. If someone touched you because they thought you were encouraging them to do so with how you acted, that is an explanation for how they acted. It doesn't justify it or make it moral in the even that you weren't actually encouraging them to do so.

Defend was probably the wrong word really, since ultimately "This is how normies act:" is a useful thing to understand even when they are being rape-y weirdos. But then we get into that annoying crossroads again where looking at situations with foresight is used by dickheads to justify victim blaming with hindsight. (i.e. foresight: to reduce the risk of being in a car crash, don't get in a car. This doesn't mean that if you do that with hindsight you deserved to crash, although some bastard will always take that approach to deflect from the other driver who actually caused the crash.)

Tying up the above there's the fact I probably came to this method of analysis as a systematic way of reducing how much people noticed me (And thus bullied me) in HS, since even though they're the ones with the problem I could hardly alter their behaviour and instead had to work around it. (though obviously there's far more warning and personal experience involved there than with sexual issues, which are more distant.) Which I suppose does fundamentally "accept" their behaviour since there's more of a focus on explaining than on altering, coming from a defensive position.

>>6913657
Thirsty beta virgins seem to always care about winning over girls with and getting sex with their own abilities. If you just hired someone to help you out (assuming it's legal) that would be pretty separated from any beta status imo.

>>6914779
>>because if I like it, I have to do it again
>Not true.
Well that might not be quite right. Sex could be like crack, where once you get a taste you'll be craving more for quite a while.

When was in japan once I went to a bunch of maid/JK/rifure cafe things and it was like crack for me. The desire to go back for more lasts months, but fortunately I don't live in an Asian country, so my money is safe for now.

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how can I intentionally kill my sex drive permanently so it can't control me

>>6920185
>When was in japan once I went to a bunch of maid/JK/rifure cafe things and it was like crack for me. The desire to go back for more lasts months, but fortunately I don't live in an Asian country, so my money is safe for now.

Your addiction to perving on women isn't relevant to regular people's lifestyles.

>>6920283
Asexuality isn't related to sex drive. Ask elsewhere.

>>6916407
>just came out
>everyone is supportive
>no misdirected questions
>no insults
k

>>6920283
Castration, death, anything to reduce the levels of sex hormones in your body

>>6920461
It's a fair question. I hate my sex drive and wish it didn't exist. Sadly anything that can be done to kill it also has horrible side effects.

>>6920283

Death is probably the only way you can destroy your sex drive. There are medications one can take that will destroy your sexual urges, but at the level you want, you'll probably be a zombie, shuffling from A to B without any thoughts to the contrary,which would defeat the purpose of suppressing your urges.

You COULD always attempt celibacy, in that you realize that your sexual urges are ruining your life and as such,until you can control them, you will not act on them. Your mind is not subservient to your body. your body is subservient to your mind. It may be difficult at first, but once you start hitting landmarks (One month, One season, Six Months, One Year), you'll work even harder to control yourself, lest all that hard work be for nothing.

Remember, Animals do everything they can to sucessfuly mate. You are not an animal. Ascend.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power

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>>6928150
No. Sex is about sex, everything else isn't (or isn't always) and you are emotionally dysfunctional.

>>6928168
and here i thought i was going to get a fun discussion about the pervasiveness of sex and sexuality in society.

i was originally going to say normie society, but really it filters down to all levels, with even the fat neckbeards longing for it. being outside of this box and antipathetic to the concept is a strange experience.

>>6928174
If you are indeed 'outside of this box' because of your meme orientation, then what do you know of sex?

>>6928168
>/emotionally dysfunctional
>4 results
Learn some new words to bait with.

>>6928201
that the vast majority of people want it and a disproportionate amount of time is spent trying to obtain it.

>tfw don't want to be intimate with someone else but have a lot of free time and fear dying alone

>>6929018
Intimacy without sex can be great though, is cuddling itself repulsive?

>>6929043
I don't desire cudfling though, seeing couples hold each other just makes me think that I don't want that.

One of my friends is all like, "you'd change your mind about that if you were close to someone". He may be right, but I doubt it.

So, I'm wondering if we Aces have our own slang. I mean, I know that each of the four suits of cards can represent what variation of Asexuality one is, the term "humper" (used in the same vein as "breeder") and possibly "aesthetically pleasing" to denote that someone looks good without bringing in notions of wanting that person on top of/underneath you. Most of AVEN's slang is idiotic and sounds like a tumblrina came up with it.

>>6920283

I've tried to avoid masturbation. It's not that hard tbqh but occasionally I give in after 3 weeks of nothing and that screws my plans of killing my drive.

>>6930737

Just the normal AVEN stuff like queerplatonic, squish, etc as far as I know.

>>6930737
I personally prefer "fucker" instead of humper or breeder

>>6930737
Acethetical?

>>6930737
>I know that each of the four suits of cards can represent what variation of Asexuality one is
I don't know this one. What do they mean?

>>6935726

Ace of Hearts is for the Romantic Asexuals
Ace of Diamonds are for Demisexuals and Demiromantics
Ace of Spades are for the Aromantic Asexuals
Ace of Clubs are for the Greyace and Greyromantic Asexuals

Honestly, until I looked it up on the AVEN wiki, I thought it was just limited to the Ace of Hearts and the Ace of Spades.

>>6935760
desu hearts and spades are all you really need. Clubs I can maybe get behind as well, but I disagree with demi being part of the ace umbrella (or rather, a descriptor for the people for whom the "not none, just low sex drive" and "just need the right person" explanations that aces get all the time are actually true) for the most part.

>>6935784
>or rather, a descriptor for the people for whom the "not none, just low sex drive" and "just need the right person" explanations that aces get all the time are actually true
Wouldn't having a name for that actually make it more clear that aces aren't like that?

That'd be liking saying all aces do/don't want a relationship, or do/don't masturbate, or will/won't have maintenance sex.

Those all depend on what kind of ace they are.

>>6930737
As an aromantic, I like to refer to romantics as "aminuga," since "ami" is the latin root for love, and "nuga" means trash/nonsense.
Sometimes you gotta make up your own shitty slang.
>inb4 outraged romantics

>tfw asexual is about the only vaguely socially acceptable way you can identify yourself
>tfw it's arguably untrue, causing internal turmoil even though it's not a big deal.

basically 'tism (diagnosed properly) means i have a sex drive, but no interest in fulfilling it with anything but masturbation to pornography.
celibacy would arguably be more accurate but implies some kind of voluntary restraint from sex, instead of passive disinterest (which is closer to asexuality for practical purposes), also celibacy raises questions like "why" whereas saying it's a sexuality makes people understand more intuitively "i just don't feel like it"

an analogy i like is that sex and sex acts are like being a soldier: great when you're doing it on a laptop (game), hard work and often risky irl.

i just don't know. i mean for practical purposes i can't think of another term i'd use to describe to people, but i don't like feeling like i'm lying to people even when for practical purposes the only alternative to lying would be chris-chan tier "honesty" involving disclosure of far far too much information about onself.

>>6936953
Asexuality is about attraction, not sex drive. Plenty of asexual folks have high sex drives and masturbate regularly. If you don't find yourself sexually attracted to other people, you're asexual.

Otherwise, if you do feel some but not much, you could always put yourself on the greysexual spectrum.

>>6936953
What I tend to say is, "I'm not really interested in dating. I'm pretty much asexual, I guess" complete with shrug.

>>6936953
Isn't that autochorissexuality?

>>6938026
I use sexuality as a tool to communicate to others what my desires and expectations are. It seems a little inappropriate to specify "Yeah I'm not interested in anyone, but do you wanna hear about how much I jerk off?"

If someone feels like they need that word in order to come to terms with themselves within their own head, that's fine. I just don't understand why it's necessary to pull out for when people ask your sexuality.

>>6938026
that would seem close enough

i have to wonder if it's slightly less distant than that (i.e. i do occasionally imagine myself in the acts, particularly if it's something tangentially sexual like spanking.) but it seems about as close as we're going to get to this unintentional snowflakeism