/agpg/ - AGP General

Tfw taking titty skittles
Tfw love it but changes are starting to happen and I'm nervous
Tfw not sure if trans or just agp who doesn't like male gender role

>>6797609
just enjoy the ride faam

Really considering taking PM with some other supplements, dont want buds....

i want to die

what a promising start to this thread

>>6798330
you're not truagp unless you want to die tbhon

>>6798331
when i was a kid being agp was about liking weird porn how did that escalate to bouts of suicidal depression this is the worst fetish senpai let me off this ride

>>6798355
Tru.

Anyone else bisexual with a stronger preference for women, not particularly submissive or offended by their own penis, not wishing to have the capability to birth a child, yet long to undertake a feminine gender role as a result of years of sexual confusion, agp tendencies, lack of sexual activity and general bouts of gender dysphoria, yet the next day you have convinced yourself youre just a regular guy and those thoughts are just delusional fantasies associated with your fetish for traps, crossdressing and other things?
Input would be nice...

>>6798403
Because the problem with me is that my secretive cross dressing has manifested itself as something more in my subconscious, eeking its way intok my identity as a person, yearning to just go about life as a woman, no sexual connotation involved at all. Just me, but living as a feminine person, nothing else. Why can't I just be a dude that never questions these things? My family doesn't deserve my baggage.

Every day, every second I am entertaining what I think is dysphoria, all the time I wonder if others around me can read my mind and figure out what is up with me, what consumes my thoughts and keeps me awake well into the next day, searching transgender resources for answers, obsessing over trans timelines, frequenting this place when I'm feeling a little funny. But I see the ones who've taken the plunge. Already short, small framed, and babyfaced. All formerly living as gay males, or at least femboys with a preference for men and being submissive. I'm so over this feeling. I just can't face myself, not like this

>>6798466
lol you're just trans t b h

>>6798466
Like, have I failed living as a man, have I not met the requirements of my own expectations? Am I not bound to the modern constrains of masculine gender expression ? I fucking hate myself, I know if I transitioned I would have to deal with so much shit, and my parents really fucking want grandchildren. Kill me please. For the love of god, take me out of this hellhole, subdue my misery.

>>6798476
Nicely Meme'd, hon.

Apologies to the thread for sharing my story yet again but I feel it could help this newcomer. This is the problem with the ephemerality of 4chan threads.

>>6798403
More or less. It didn't used to be like this. I don't remember thinking of myself as anything but a boy with a very strange fetish. The only thing that really got me going. Eventually and seemingly out of nowhere I started to experience these intense bouts of sadness over not being a woman. They come and go. I can be completely fine for a week then have the desires return with a vengeance. Ever since I started experiencing them they only grew stronger and more frequent.

I don't really experience bodily dysphoria so the thought of being trans never occurred to me. Heck, I still don't know whether I'm trans. Not that it matters much now since I'm too old and manly to pass.

For a very long time I didn't know AGP was a thing so I just thought of myself as this unique hyper-pervert throughout my teenage years. When I first heard of it I was relieved to learn that this thing had a name and that I wasn't alone. With time, though, I began to question some of the narrative implied by Blanchard's approach. Now I think that while something similar to what he named AGP exists his model isn't accurate. Thinking back on my own personal experience I distinctly remember frequently fantasizing about people becoming the other gender since I was 4. It only turned sexual later, though if I am to be honest I didn't fantasize about myself becoming the other gender before it turned sexual. A lot of other people in this thread reported similar pre-puberty fantasies. This makes me think the "fetish grows into an orientation" model is false.

>>6798499
>Every day, every second I am entertaining what I think is dysphoria
>consumes my thoughts and keeps me awake well into the next day, searching transgender resources for answers, obsessing over trans timelines
tranny
>I'm so over this feeling. I just can't face myself, not like this
repression

there wasn't even a single mention of agp in that post lol

t. agp tranny

>>6798466
>>6798492
Does one not have the right to pursue their happiness, so long as they are not hurting anyone? A person belongs to themselves and to no one else.

>>6798509
I'm still young, and believe it or not I just found out about this terminology only recently after extensive searches on the google machine. A lot of what you said I find very relatable.

>>6798492
your parents are not entitled to you having children

>>6798511
I believe my ago stems from having masturbatory tendencies tied to my cross dressing on occasion, but that comes in mainly as a byproduct of my excitement seeing myself as my preferred gender role, it is sexually liberating for me to dress how I want just for a little while. Also if I did transition, I would be a total transbian, and that makes me puke in my mouth by how disingenuous my identity would feel. Not to mention the hurdles of finding gainful employment. Yikes.

>>6798559
*agp

>>6798540
Then think things through and act while you can. Maybe if you share your own experience we can offer our opinion (as unprofessional as it may be).

What would you personally think you would have done if you grew up in this type of progressive social climate we are in now? How do you manage your feelings, as an older person presumably edging off their prime? Just curious.'--' .

>>6798584
>>6798615
Stitched together

>>6798615

Dude unless youre 35+ you live in practically the same world. The media is different but that's it. I think people havent changed that much at least in my community/family

>>6798661
The way transsexuals are treated in the west now is way, way different from how they were treated a decade ago.

>>6798615
It just depends on where you live.

If you go to many colleges or live in certain large cities, it's made out to be some progressive paradise (gross), but most of the country is still the same.


I wish neither were accepted and people just saw transgenderism as a disease that needs treating, not as a super special way to express yourself or as being an ultra faggot.

>>6798437
I feel you... same boat

>>6798755
>I wish neither were accepted and people just saw transgenderism as a disease that needs treating, not as a super special way to express yourself or as being an ultra faggot.
The person who coined AGP views homosexuality as a mental illness, and transsexuality as an extreme form of homosexuality. According to him they're literally on the same spectrum.

I don't think you'll find a lot of people here who are sympathetic to your ideas.

>>6798755
seeing transgenderism as a disease that needs treating is accepting it though

>>6798848
It is a sickness. It makes people feel sick, and transitioning is the only known cure.

>>6798859
that is elaborating on what i said, yes

>>6798871
Sorry. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. That other person seems to be coming from the other direction, given their use of the word gross to describe acceptive environments.

>>6798859
>cure

you faggots are so fucking retarded

>he's suicidal and death is the only known cure

>>6798888
suicide is the only cure for being a tranny


i wish i wasn't a pussy so i could do it

>>6798888
well "cure" typically implies remaining living. but regardless, do you think people should not be able to commit suicide if that is their wish?

>>6798901

>do you think people should not be able to commit suicide if that is their wish?

Of course they shouldn't. Being suicidal means you aren't right in the head and shouldn't be making your own decisions.

Of course we live in an age where we prescribe anti-depressants instead of looking to fix what caused the problem in the first place.

Ted was right.

>>6798888
A sickness is only a sickness insomuch as it causes harm. A transsexual individual suffers due to not being the sex they feel they should be. Transitioning alleviates said suffering and many transitioners go on to be happy thanks to said treatment.

Suicide ends a person's life. Transitioning does not. In fact it often saves it.

>>6798891
Suicide is not a cure. Suicide is giving up instead of seeking treatment.

Hey, hetero guys are completely fascinated with all things feminine too. It literally is the all-consuming drive in their life. Only difference is hetero guys want to tap that, while gay guys who are identifying as AGP or transwomen want to BE that. I think it's the same signal or drive, with a different interpretation in the individual.
When you see literally the most perfect meal you've ever envisioned, do you want to be the person who gets to savor the enjoyment of eating it, or the person who takes pride in having prepared it? Do you feel a desire to refine your palate for maximum appreciation, or to refine your kitchen technique for maximum skill?
Speaking broadly, I think hetero men are like gourmet diners, or maybe food critics. They know what they like, what's attractive and desirable to them, and can be a little harsh in their criticism if what's in front of them doesn't make the grade (even if they couldn't create it themselves and would still eat PBJ in a pinch). Hetero women and transwomen are more like chefs. They want the satisfaction of perfecting what they can create, and expressing themselves through that creation.
I think it's beautiful. Even more so when two people complement each other whatever their orientation.

>>6798918
>Of course we live in an age where we prescribe anti-depressants instead of looking to fix what caused the problem in the first place.
But we prescribe anti-depressants exactly because we looked into it and discovered that for many individuals depression is caused by an innate chemical inbalance.

>>6798918
>authoritarian cuck detected
move along folks

>>6798933
>>6798923
>>6798935


You faggots are profoundly retarded and desperately need Jesus.

>>6798923
>Suicide is not a cure. Suicide is giving up instead of seeking treatment.


There is no treatment that works for being trans though.

There is a very small chance that you might pass to other people as female but all you're doing is mitigating the problems, not fixing them.

>>6798937
God isn't real.

>>6798944
There are plenty of happy, successful transwomen. Transitioning works for some, if not for all. If you start early - as future transsexuals will - your chances of passing are very high.

>>6798954


And if you don't start early your chances of passing are low and based on lucky genetics.

that's not much of a "cure"

>>6798964
It is too late for some. I won't deny it. Like with cancer your chances are the highest if you treat it early. A cure is still a cure even if it is only effective early on for a fair amount of people. That it is a cure must be made known far and wide exactly so that those who need it can receive it before it is too late for them.

I understand your pain. It is too late for me too. But that is exactly why it is important to give those who still have a chance the heads up that they have that chance. If you cannot save yourself as least save some other people. Who knows, if we last long enough perhaps some futuristic technology might be able to help even us.

I'm bi/agp and married to a pretty sexual conservative woman...
I'm scared to even try to indulge.

How should I go about introducing these facets of my life to my wife?

>>6798534
>A person belongs to themselves and to no one else.

[citation needed]

>>6799076
There are no moral facts. There is nothing to cite. When it comes to morality you must ultimately choose what you wish to believe in based on your own criteria.

I think it is unreasonable to expect a certain person to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of others because, if examined through the lens of Kant's categorical imperative, the implication is that everyone ought do that. This creates a world of misery where everyone are sacrificing for everyone else and almost no one is happy because the sacrifices others make for them cannot compensate for what they themselves have given up.

Instead I believe that everyone should do their best to pursue their own happiness while avoiding hurting others as much as possible and helping those they can along the way. This means not everyone can get what they want but of the options open to us it is in my opinion the most sensible.

>>6798982

I'm in the boat where I have agp, am past 30 and very masculinized. I'm 5'9" 285, 48-48-46(yes lol fat) have 22" shoulders, neanderthal brow, 24" head circumference, size 12 feet. I've had to come to terms with being a man since my body is suited for it. I'd experiment with being genderqueer as a consolation prize(after losing some weight), but social stigma makes it not worth it.

>>6799076
>a person belongs to their Creator and no one else
FTFY
>>6799104
dat moral relativism

>>6799249
>You belong to your parents
What an awful viewpoint.

>>6799253
Nice reading comprehension buddy.

>>6798244
As I recall femgen were discussing HRT which doesn't cause breast growth; maybe check there. Also if you're taking feminising herbal supplements you might as well do it properly and take actual HRT; safer and better.

>>6799268
Well, the alternative is that you believe in some masked spirit in the sky and I've decided to give you some credit.

>>6798559
What exactly are you trying to imply by "transbian"? If you literally just a lesbian transsexual then that's normal/common/fine.

Can you project agp onto a woman? I think when I fucked women I would imagine myself as them receiving the intimacy I'm giving them.

Now that I'm on hormones, I don't get very aroused by the thought of being a woman, so I don't know now if I'm even now or ever was into women, or if they were just an object of agp fetish for me

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>>6798929
I really relate to this. I'm stealth, and at this point my sexuality is pretty much based around being a desirable partner for a man. I ended up transitioning into exactly the kind of girl I would have dated before, and the guys I go after tend to remind me of myself pre-transition. I was kind of confused by this for a while, but when I think of it as me being inspired by women and then taking their role it makes a lot more sense.

>>6798918
>Of course we live in an age where we prescribe anti-depressants instead of looking to fix what caused the problem in the first place
Not where I live. I was told by my doctor, when I said I wanted to die, to see a shrink and maybe, if they deemed I needed it and I was at genuine risk of suicide, I could get on a low dose of anti-depressants.

>>6798929
>hetero guys are completely fascinated with all things feminine too. It literally is the all-consuming drive in their life
No.

>>6799621
Seems entirely possible.

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Has anyone shared this general with Blanchard? How do you guys think he would react to me tweeting it at him?

>>6798929
>Hey, hetero guys are completely fascinated with all things feminine too
lol no
>Only difference is hetero guys want to tap that, while gay guys who are identifying as (...) transwomen want to BE that.
transwomen aren't guys, also
>gay guys
I'm straight and AGP, what does that make me?

>>6801001

Straight AGPs want to be women too. Which is why some people suspect that AGP/HSTS are the same condition, just the gynephilic and androphilic versions of it.

When I was a kid, I used to get boners from wearing my sister's clothes, and would only cross dress for that purpose. But then as I hit puberty, I started getting gender dysphoria and spent the entirety of my high school career as a suicidal loner.

Do I sound trans or AGP? Should I transition or kms?

>>6801052
>HSTS
wtf does http strict transport security have to do with lgbt

>>6801055
>should I transition or kms
If those are your only two options, transition. No further questioning needed, you have nothing to lose by going for it and everything to lose by not.

>>6801066
And let's just say hypothetically I manage to repress, but would still be miserable. Would I still transition?

>>6801083
If you're going to be miserable if you don't, then yes. You have nothing to lose, it's a no brainer.

>>6801058

>posting in AGP gen
>thinking HSTS means "http strict transport security"

>>6801175
wait what? I thought this was a thread about accelerated graphics port cards

seriously though i know hsts doesn't mean that but i don't know what it does mean, can you enlighten me please?

I can't tell if I'm being meta memed here or not
>>6801175

>>6799003
probably* do not* lol

>>6799003
yeah...if you wanna stay married you probably don't really get to indulge

>>6798403
i am this fml

>>6800826
that'd be pretty funny honestly

>>6801220

Ok ill spill the beans, an HSTS is a homosexual transsexual, nowadays we'd call them straight/androphilic transwoman.

>tfw Ray Blanchard wont upgrade to a newer computer because nobody makes modern AGP motherboards.

>>6797609
My dude
Just stop worrying about it

Literally b urself

If da peelz are increasing your quality of life, BE HAPPY

Maybe try out femboy

>>6801605

Holy shit I know that feel

>>6797550
>dat photo
triggered

>>6800826
I'd be embarrassed given the amount of idiots posting here for the last two threads.

>>6801055
>Do I sound trans or AGP?
Your story is very typical for an autogynephile. If you're genuinely sure that you experience dysphoria and are not just projecting some other aspect of your life unto your AGP then you should at least give transitioning some thought. Think things through. Are there other aspects of your life which could be the cause of the illness you feel? Other than crossdressing did you show any signs of potentially being transsexual in the pre-dysphoria period, especially pre-puberty? How do you experience what you refer to as dysphoria? Were there times when you were happy to be a man?

>Should I transition or kms?
Don't kill yourself either way. That's just giving up before you try any form of treatment.

>>6802779
Should I tweet him that old one where people talked about the cause of AGP and their life stories? He might find that interesting

>>6800826
>tfw he sees the "Kill me Blanchard meme"
oh no

>>6802826
>other than crossdressing, did you show any signs of potentially being transsexual in the pre-dysphoria period, especially pre-puberty

My dysphoria wasn't bad as a pre pubescent, not at all. I was mainly friends with girls, looked very girly and my parents let me act girly.

>how do you experience what you refer to as dysphoria

Extreme self loathing for my body, mainly my face. I try to avoid mirrors as much as possible, and I get terrified by the thought of growing up as a man. And when I look at girls I get extremely jealous and then extremely depressed.

>were there times when you were happy to be a man

Kind of. Sometimes I'm happy that I'm a relatively feminine looking man, and when I used to lift I would get quite proud of the muscles I had built. That's about it though

>that's just giving up before you try any form of treatment

There is no treatment for being trans or AGP or whatever the hell I am

>>6803017
>My dysphoria wasn't bad as a pre pubescent, not at all.
But it was still present? In what form?

>Extreme self loathing for my body, mainly my face.
If you had the option of looking like any man you'd like, would that help?

>There is no treatment for being trans or AGP or whatever the hell I am
There is a palliative treatment which has been shown to be effective for many: transitioning. In the end what matters is your well-being. Plenty of people transition and go on to be happy.

The trouble is that sometimes people who are not transsexual believe that they are, in which case transitioning might just make things worse.

>>6803042
>but it was still present? In what form?
I hated having haircuts, and used to secretly wish I could wear what my sisters were wearing.

>if you had the option of looking like any man you'd like, would that help?

Only extremely feminine looking men like andrej pejic. I don't want to look like a man

>sometimes people who aren't transsexual believe that they are

How do I tell?

>>6803102
>How do I tell?
That's the hard part. You need to think things through. Do the research. From what you've told me you sound like you could potentially benefit from transitioning but I can't really tell from a handful of undetailed internet posts.

Seeing a psychologist is a good idea so long as you live in an area wherein psychologists are knowledgeable about and socially accepting of transsexuals.

A last, possibly contradictory piece of advice: think things through but act quickly. If you pass after treatment you will do better overall. The longer you wait the lower your chances are. At the same time it is dangerous to be too rash when it comes to such a major decision.

Some questions I think you should pose to yourself are: could you go on and live your life as you are? Is there anything else you could do to improve your well-being? Is there any chance there is a cause for your distress other than gender dysphoria?

>>6803200
Thanks for speaking to me.

I will definitely think hard about this one. Especially what you said at the end.

If I can't live like this anymore then I might transition while I'm still youngish.

>>6799303
>If you literally just a lesbian transsexual then that's normal/common/fine.
Most agp's are lesbian according to Blanchard and from the looks of it (the trans community) most old hons and a lot of younger more cringy trans (see /mtfg/) are transbians as well and probably all agp.

Bruce Jenner the end.

>>6800826
Wait, he has a Twitter account? I'd be surprised if no-one has done it already.

>>6801001
>I'm straight and agp, what does that make me?
A straight man who wants to be a lesbian woman?

>>6801220
>>6801058
>accerlated graphics port
>http strict transport security
Yep this is a transbian poster, if I had a nickel for every transbian that worked in computers I'd be rich.

>>6800826
I think Blanchard would shed a single tear and say "finally my work is recognized and not suppressed by the trans community"

God bless him, the poor man had his family threatened by hostile agp trans lesbians. He's a saint.

>>6803369
I mean, he didn't deserve all of the abuse he got but to cast him as a saint is strange. I think his work is valuable but also ultimately flawed because he tries to ascribe universal unfalsifiable motives to a fairly diverse group. The whole thing where a lot of autogynephiles also had pre-puberty fantasies makes his line of thought suspect in my eyes. The existence of AAPs is another issue.

I don't blame him for coming up with the theory that he did. It has a great deal of explanatory power. It just seems to be a few steps removed from the truth.

Anyone else bisexual and AGP?

>be on top of woman in the cowboy position
>imagine you're the one getting fucked

HNNNNG

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Did your agp/dysphoria give you porn addiction?

>>6804166
I definitely overmasturbate but I also hardly ever consume porn. Nothing is as dirty as my imagination.

>>6803555
Considering the harm he's done, he deserves to be buried alive. Where do you get off lying and saying "he didn't deserve X"?

>>6804344
I don't think he did what he did out of malice. Being wrong about something does not by itself mean you deserve to be threatened. I can't deny that he ultimately did some harm though.

>>6804344

Supposedly before teh Blanchard came along, HSTS was the only valid narrative. Lesbian? Bi? Married with children? Masculine profession? No transition for you.

So blanchard fanboys(fangirls?) will say he did some good. Although his theory is now being used to beat trans people over the head with, so it may have been better to not invent agp.

>>6803642
Try the one where you are on your back legs spread, and she's in between you desu. Google reverse missionary.

>>6800826
what if blanchard was the one posting these threads all along

>>6800826
visited Hong Kong once. What a fantastic fucking expensive city

Okay I did it anons. Curious to see what he says.
https://twitter.com/ProdSoc/status/769637812362674176

https://twitter.com/ProdSoc/status/769638527126671360

>>6806014
NO YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN AAAAAAAAAH PANIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>6806014
>Respected doctor sees a bunch of inane babbling
>"Autogynephilia seems to be comorbid with brain damage. Fascinating."

>>6806014
y tho

>>6806082
I think Blanchard might be able to offer some valuable insight into what we've been talking about here, even though he was wrong about many things.

>>6806205
Presuming that a 70 year old man makes the effort to go through a meandering 4chan thread.. he'll probably think us to be ignorant and rude. Nobody likes reading threads where half of the people call their work flawed.

>tfw you imagine sad Blanchard
rip

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>>6806014
He's coming.

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Expect him.

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>>6806350
YOU DIDN'T LISTEN

>>6804344
He didn't cause any harm

I'm running out of shitty tf tg games
/d/ is like 90% reposts, and they don't talk about games much anyway
will I be forced to fap to normal porn? is this what society has reduced me to?

>>6808903
Uh.. peak degeneracy, but Trap Quest?

>>6808940
Already played it
There's... some stuff I like in it, but a LOTTTT of stuff I don't. Gotta turn a lot of the extra fetishes off, and even then you have weird shit like bloated bellies. Ergh.
Plus, Trap Quest, like... I dunno. I like mental changes in my shitty tf games, but in Trap Quest, it's basically all by being raped. That's not subtle, and there's no real variation (except in the various ways you get raped). It's all just normie--->bimbo, one way. Gets kinda boring.

Honestly, I don't even think of that as peak degeneracy. I'm pretty sure I could find something in my uncomfortably large folder that tops that.

>>6808968
>Honestly, I don't even think of that as peak degeneracy. I'm pretty sure I could find something in my uncomfortably large folder that tops that.
D O N O T
O

N
O
T

ABORT ABORT ABORT

Is it AGP if I'm fine being a man, but due to an overwhelming love of the woman, as a concept, hypothetically, and as a real thing, from my practical experience with them, I just find the idea of being a woman very appealing?

In terms of fetishes, it doesn't stop there, though; you could think about it in a sense of that I fetishize femininity itself -- I enjoy increasing it. If there were a way to turn men into women just through an easy magic cast, I would go around turning men into women with every opportunity, but especially the ones that want to be women first and foremost.

I like women, have no interest in men, want to be a woman, but am actually quite accepting and satisfied with my male self and have no desire to become a tranny, but mostly just because of the absolutely dismal results it gives, beyond it not being able to "truly" change someone. I would prefer to be a man of a future century when changing the course of my own sexual existence is within my ability, so that I could choose to be a woman of my own design.

Because really, women are the best. It's a no-brainer for me to think this way; HOWEVER, is it AGP? I'm not sure if it's within the scope of AGP.

>>6808997
I dunno but sounds like AGP or possibly another fetish
I'm going entirely off my expertise in weird tf fetish games but what you're describing is entirely in the scope of those so I think it's just a fetish, AGP or something similar

>>6809001
Well, I have a TG fetish in general, and a fetish for lesbians. Maybe those two logically combine to form a desire to just make the male become female in general (which does definitely apply to me, too), so I wonder what the thread thinks about this, whether or not that's "true" AGP.

I think it is, just because on some level I feel like if the TG and lesbian fetishes were just removed from me I might still be curious about the idea of being a woman. But really, I don't know, hence why I'm asking the thread.

>hey anon, did you see that video of the guy who faps to himself being a girl ? It was so weird lol
>y-yeah right

>>6809235
w-what video

>>6809019
But if we turn everyone into females, whose cocks do i get to suck?

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>>6809493
>liking men
trutrannies get out

>>6809520
>not liking men

>tfw blanchard daddy will never pound your AGPucci

>>6809520
Isn't that exactly what AGP is about, and what separates it from transsexuals?

>>6809968
No

>>6809968

There is a variant of agp where the person with it is turned on by being with a man as a woman, but isnt actually attracted to men.

>taking titty pills
>becoming very fem boy
>more attractive than ever
>suddenly gay men are hitting on me frequently
>not into men

kill me dad

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>>6810417
>turned on by being with a man as a woman, but isn't actually attracted to men

I've never understood this. What is the difference?

>>6810417
I HAVE THIS DEFINITELY

>>6811182

Basically they enjoy the act of sex and dating en femme, but there is no attraction towards a mans body, face, voice, smell and mannerisms.

>>6811182
Turned on by the idea of being a woman with a man, but not by men in themselves.

Somewhat comparable to how one can (are usually will) be into beastiality without actually being sexually attracted to animals.

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>>6811382
>>6811566
>tfw have this
>tfw not a normal gay
It hurts so much.

>>6810417
Yes. This exactly is how I feel
>>6811182
Because being fucked in the ass by a guy isn't hot. A masculine person fucking another masculine person isn't attractive to me

>>6811566
>>6811382
I'm not sure if I'm like this. I've had crushes on guys before but it's really hard to imagine doing anything or being with them if I'm not a woman because I have a really hard time connecting myself to my body.

It's like theres some sort of disconnect.

>>6812765
if you have crushes on men i'd say it's not the same thing

>>6812772
Well, it was one guy in particular and it was sort of weird.

>would get on skype with him and he would tell me about his girlfriend
>i was 15/16 at the time, he was 18/19, his gf was 16~

He would talk about how they would kiss and other stuff they would do and it would make me so jealous, because I should have been her and been a girl and it wasn't fair.

>>6812790
yeah that's definitely different

Has anyone here actually had a girlfriend? I've never dated anyone, but the idea makes me anxious. I am definitely sexually attracted to women, and I THINK I could have vanilla sex with one I liked, but I'm really nervous that most girls would get weirded out by AGP. Can anyone share their experiences?

>>6812952
Similar situation here. Honestly, I don't think I would ever admit to someone the AGP thing. At the very least, I will have to admit to being submissive since those tendencies I have are strong. So I would hope the girl I do hit it off with is okay with being dominant -- I can't imagine myself in a dominant role in bed at all. However, I might just be overthinking it
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>6812952
never, although i feel like i should have been able to. i would always freak out in some way when i thought i was getting close
sex got boring fast

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>>6806014
>>6806350
>>6806359
Dr. Blanchard, I'm AGP

>>6811566

Actually I think straight cis-women have this feeling somewhat. It's about how the guy makes you feel in relation to him. Then again I'm trans so what do I know.

>>6812952
I had a girlfriend but no sex.

>>6809270
dunno, never whatched it but I think it's in french anyway

>MAAB
>like men
>feel like a tomboy
>always liked getting "lesbian" haircuts
>want softer body features
>broad shoulders are practical desu; would keep
>don't really like it when bf touches my dick, but it "feels" good
>feels gross to cum but feels good because orgasm

Am I agp? How do I end this torture?

>>6809856

But he's gay.

>>6811026

Same except I'm into men but unwilling to settle for gay ones. Straight or nothing.

>>6812952

I never had a girlfriend. Prior to 14 years of age involuntarily because no girl openly showed her interest in me (though I definitely suspected some girls) because I thought I was ugly. Then when I got to 9th grade and a girl was clearly trying to get the dick, I realized I didn't even want a girlfriend.

>>6814554
How long did it last if I may ask?

>>6797550
i wish i was one of those girls and had the other as my wife. that would be fuckin' great.

>>6817725
I don't think I've ever fantasized about being the girl in a lesbian relationship. Is that a common thing?

>>6799076
>A person belongs to themselves and to no one else.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

So I just crossdressed, masturbated twice, and then I get hit with this realization of like 'bro im wearing tights and heels right now thats kinda gay, and I lose all sexual drive towards being a woman. Hours later its back. I have no looked at men with lust, it is only in my fantasies that a dude comes in and fucks me while im a trap/chick/shota whatever. Women I do lust after in real life, and I'm still very capable of fucking them and masturbating to them.

That being said, the amount that I crush on my fantasy of being a girl extends to more than just sexual desires. However, a full transition I feel would ruin me and when the chance to do it becomes available, (independent, probably after college) it may be too late to make a transition that looks passable. What if I instead just took hormones to slightly change my appearance to be more feminine? In order that I can still retain my masculine qualities that I like and take for granted, and still be able to satisfy the part of me that wants to be a woman?

>>6823375
Don't encourage him

>>6812952
Yes. I had several and currently have one. Sex is great and I can be dominant and enjoy it.

But, sometimes I still kind of AGPish into having a fantasy of being a woman, really since early childhood. Todays, mostly a fantasy of being a woman, having woman body, and having sex with a man.

Not being particulary interested in sex with a man AS a man, though.

Always thought it was just a wreid fetish, before reading about AGP. And this thread seem like full of guys with similar thing.

Id like to mention that I do like a tg-realistic fantasy and trap porn a lot, particulary with post-op shemales.

>>6823388
Same here. But I am pretty sure that hormones would be unavailable with this definition of non-true-trans. And should they be, it wont be enough to satisfy that fetish to be woman, yet still would be enough to diminish or destroy qualities i have as man.

You cant have both i guess.

>>6823544
Rats, nice dubs anyway

Anyone else just want to transition and not particularly fill the gender roles of being a woman? I mean, for the most part I do just want to transition because I get incredibly aroused at the thought of me looking like a woman. But I don't care much for the gender roles. I love cooking and cleaning, but I like motorcycles and cars. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend, nor do I really want to be anyone's boyfriend. I want to work for a living. But it would be nice to be in a relationship with someone where we're both working professionals.

When I read up on people transitioning I always read up on them doing "chick stuff" like going out to a spa, clothes shopping, etc. I don't really care much for that stuff - although I do like putting on makeup and finding clothes that fits. But shopping for the sake of shopping, being catty, gossiping, basically living the traditional female role in American society is not what I want. I guess living as a guy I've seen the perks men have, and I want some of them. But I do really feel comfortable looking like a woman...

>AMAB, probably a man
>Always been attracted to men but never strongly attracted to sex
>In fact sex doesn't do it at all for me really
>For the past two years pretty much the only way I've been able to get off is by imagining I've got a pussy
>Sex is only appealing to me when it's a guy fucking me in the pussy
>Being referred to as a woman is a turn on too but I've not got any desire to actually be a woman

Honestly I don't know what's going on in my head or if anyone else has this but I'm fucking desperate for a pussy at this point

>>6798929
I'm an artist and I often indulge myself in creating the best women I can, so I guess I'm a chef in that regard, but also wish to be them.

>>6824116
i am mostly similar. i never really liked that kind of girl anyway, it's like i would also want to be the kind of girl i find attractive...

>>6824116
>implying women must be traditional 50s housewives in modern America
A woman is no less a woman bc of her hobbies or interests. You can want to be a woman but not fill the sexist role

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>>6824362
Hm. What do you think by "not having a desire to actually be a woman"?

Having vagina is your strong desire, having sex with it with a man too.

Sounds woman to me.
Is it appealing to you to have pussy while having rest of a body of a man, or do you imagine a bombshell body to that pussy too?

>>6804248
Holy shit this

>>6812952
One girlfriend for like a month, no sex, almost had sex with another girl

Is there any way to just kill my sex drive entirely?

It's trying to make me transition and I don't want to

>>6825337
kill your testosterone levels ;^)

>>6823034
>I don't think I've ever fantasized about being the girl in a lesbian relationship.
What is the point in being the girl than if not in a lesbian relationship?

>>6825342
please I need help ;_;

>>6824116
>Anyone else just want to transition and not particularly fill the gender roles of being a woman?
Sure. Why would anyone want to fit those shitty roles? It is XXI century, not XIX.

>>6825337

I have a low sex drive and I blame being vegeterian, try giving up meat

>>6825350
i'm serious

how do you think they kill the sex drives of "sexual offenders"

>>6825345
Because I want to be a guy's horny fuckslut girlfriend?
There's something weird about a lesbian relationship to me. It feels wrong when there's no one who can penetrate the other (without toys)?

I'm agp and I don't want to kill myself. Ever since I was young I always wanted to be the little girl. I've never looked feminine so I've never been able to cross dress but it's never been depressing to me. I'm happily married with a kid, I just know I'd be happier if I were a woman. But I'm not so oh well I guess.

>>6825720
feel free to join us when the time comes >>6769168

>>6812952
I had a couple girlfriends in high school. And one fling a year ago (at 21) and i kid you not, EVERY SINGLE ONE teased me for being too girly. My first gf when i was 17 i never even tried to have sex with her only cuddle and stuff, and she got really upset about it and left me. It only lasted a month or so.
My second one was my best friend for over a year before we hooked up. She would tease me all the time for being "such a girl" over choosing my outfits and doing my hair and other stuff. I actually tried to have sex with her but failed. I couldnt get hard, i know now it was nerves but also that im submissive. Which leads me to number 3. She was older than me by 10 years and very sexually experienced. She said she could tell something was up and dommed me. Pinched my nipples and climbed on top etc. She told me i reminded her of her ex that turned out to be gay. Especially because even now i have trouble getting hard for women. I feel a disconnect from my body much like others here have described. I was only able to really have sex with her while a little bit drunk. I dont like the idea of having sex as a man :(

>>6825904
get on the pills already, hun

>>6825999
Ive been considering at least giving them a trial run. Its just a huge step...

>>6826140
do a trial run. you can always stop if you want
i don't think you will though

>>6825149
Well what I meant by that was that it's mostly appealing to me to have the body of a man while having a vagina

>>6825904
Samesies. Every girl I made out with would stop in the middle of a session, giggle, and say "anon, you kiss exactly like a girl", or "anon, how do you always end up on bottom when we make out?". I could cuddle for hours, but trying to do the male part I would sort of shut down and never got to the fucking part. I broke down crying with one girl because I couldn't mentally do it. When they were agressive, it was instant turn-on. One girl shoved me back into the couch, grabbed my head and went to town on my neck and ear, hard. Omfg, pretty sure I moaned like a girl when it happened. I want that melting, submissive feeling, dammit! If I could find an aggressive woman, life would be perfect. I guess I could look for men too, but the ones I like are out of my league and I don't really want to deal with them in general.

So suppose someone is far too masculine to pass, but is still trans/agp. Does going on HRT and still presenting as male often result in an improved mental state?

>>6826435
>i broke down crying with one girl
Samee with the one i had been friends with for a long time. It was pretty bad.
>the guys im attracted to are out of my league
I feel the same way, but only because im not attracted to gay guys. Im hoping that if i start hrt ill be more confident in trying to get with bi guys. I cant imagine myself with a girl anymore. I stopped watching porn and realized i only fantasize about guys.

>>6826504
Try it and let us know my family

>>6826435
kinda wish I wasn't a perma virgin loser so I could know if I kiss like a girl. might have helped me start earlier too I guess.

Is wanting to castrate/nullify yourself AGP?

>>6830089
no

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I'm having serious problems

All my life, i've been a major AGP. Occasional worries of transgender, but they were short lived. Now more than ever though, thanks to a reunion with some MtF friends, my sex drive is trying to seep out into my regular life more and more, giving me constant desire to be female and arousal at the same time. These thoughts of transgender-related arousal has made me come out to most of my online friends, even if I'm not convinced of it myself. It's hard to make them go away as well, as it took two hours of masturbating to thoughts like "it's okay to come out as trans, be yourself~~~" for it all to finally stop. Enough to where I can focus on other things, anyways. When I feel like I'm trans that feeling is all I can focus on due to also being turned on, so I just don't feel like that's it

I'm in a huge rut with this mess and need serious help, it's been a constant battle for the last week

>>6830252
what kind of help in particular are you looking for?

>>6830265
Help to solve the issue of my identity so I can live a peaceful life that isn't my sexual life constantly trying to claim dominance over my regular life by making me female

>>6830267
have you attempted to see a therapist experienced in gender issues?
answer these:

1. Look in the mirror, what do you see? do you see a man and it feels comfortable or do you see someone and it feels distant/disconnected or weird?
2. Does thinking about being a girl make you happy/bring up a good feeling?
3. If you could live the rest of your natural life as the gender you weren't assigned at birth, would you?
4. When you look at members of the other gender, what do you feel?
5. Does wearing the clothing of the other gender feel 'more right'?
6. If you knew you were going to look more and more masculine as you got older, how would you feel about that? What if you were going to look more and more feminine?
7. Would you rather have a female or male body?
8. Would you rather have a different genital configuration?
9. Would you rather live as a woman or man in society?
10. Based on the evidence that is available, and what your thoughts, behaviours, past and feelings suggest, what is more likely: that you're trans or that you're cis?

>>6830290
I'm not aroused right now, but if I were my answers may be different.

1. I'm content with the man I see in the mirror.
2. Thinking about being a girl makes me aroused, wanting it. However, I'm unsure if it's just the AGP doing that.
3. I'm unsure.
4. Sometimes attraction, sometimes jealousy. Again all depends on my mood.
5. It does, I'll give it that, but I couldn't wear it out for probably society reasons
6. I'm okay with being an old man. Old men are cool.
7. Can't answer that question, since that answer alters with my sexual mood.
8. Benis is fine
9. I don't particularly care.
10. That I'm AGP, like I said in my first post. Don't know how this was helpful in any way, since it isn't the issue.

>>6830302

The excess arousal goes away once you get all that T out of your system.

>>6810417
god that's fucking creepy and insane

>>6830363
>complaining about people in an agp thread on an lgbt board about things being insane

>>6830322
I got it gone fir the time being since 2 hours of straight fap is a lot of shit, but I'm scared now because I know it's going to come back, alongside all the "trans" feelings

>>6830363
>agp is creepy
why are you in this thread?

>>6830394
I just wanted to make it clear that when you transition even if you look sexy as hell you won't be in a perpetual state of arousal and your sexuality will function normally.

>>6830402
The thing that makes me decide against transition is life outside arousal. Even if my sexuality would be seen as normal for being a woman with woman fantasies, my life isn't my sexuality. It just sucks that there will be constant battles to try and make me think I'm trans though.

>>6830458
is it something you are prepared to struggle with until you are a very old man? (and it stopping is not even a guarantee)

>>6830461
ahahahahaha nope~

I just can't feel like "I'm transgender" is the right mindset either since it's just sexual fantasies

>>6830471
ok that's fine. for these just forget about what part is "just the fetish" and what is "really you" talking, ok?

if you washed up on an abandoned island, where your needs are all taken care of, along with a lifetime supply of female hormones, would you take the hormones?

>>6830491
oh I've heard this one before. I mean my answer is yeah I'd take the hormones. The situation is you're alone and no one will ever come to rescue you, so at that point it's why not, but I don't see the point in it either.

>>6830508
if you had a button that would make you into your female equivalent, no strings attached, nobody knows, they just think it's always been that way, would you press it?

>>6830537
another classic
yes

>>6830508
what do you mean by you don't see the point in it either?

>>6830633
isn't the situation "if you were stranded on a deserted island that took care of all your needs and had female hormones, would you take them?"
I guess I mean there's a point since I would get to be a woman but no point if no one else will ever be there. I dunno that question is always a little more mixed even if it's a yes.

>>6830637
because no one will ever be there...to interact with you as a person on hormones? to have sex? to see you as a woman?

>>6830688
I suppose all of them? Having the bod and I'm assuming fashion is great but the company would also make it a better experience

>>6830692
i mean...really the impression i'm getting is that 1. you would choose to be female if you could, 2. you would go on hormones if you were alone, 3. .....but it would be preferable if people were around with you in that case.
i'm having trouble coming to a conclusion other than you are trans. the first point alone is a big red flag. men don't want to be women. they don't push the button unless they can change back.

you act as if there is some force that's attempting to make you trans and ruin your life. but i think deep down you know what you want, you just don't want to admit it because it's very uncomfortable and because admitting it would be admitting you reside in a universe in which your life is unfairly hard.

you probably hear on here all the time about disgusting fetishists and how oh you just transitioned for your fetish oh you're not trans your just a dirty fetishist. fuck all that

you said you've been struggling your whole life. you're going to keep struggling your whole life hoping it just goes away. there are plenty of people who have come before you and spent their whole lives hoping it would just go away, but it doesn't, and they die thinking that if they had known it'd be like this forever, they would have tried something else a long time ago.

you're already not normal, so thinking you can just be a regular normal guy is out of the question already. hell you've already fucking came out to people. does this not blare alarm bells in your head? like what do you think you're going to do, keep spending hours and hours masturbating in order to grab some semblance of relief.....for a while?

>>6826504
I've heard some people claim that it did for them but I don't know of any research which says it does.

>>6830402
You're being awfully conclusive with that statement. While there definitely have been AGP people that have reported what you're suggesting, how sure are you that it happens to everyone, and to that extent?

Just to throw in my experiences as someone with pretty strong gender dysphoria and weak AGP: after being on HRT for a few months (I know these changes have taken years to happen in other cases so the information is of limited usefulness at this point) my AGP has gotten slightly stronger if anything.

Partially I'm just more comfortable with my sexuality and my body in general. Even something as minor as my erection being slightly softer means they make me feel less masculine, and like I'm in more control over my body and sexuality. There are also many small but significant difficult to define mental changes that make it seem like I have a "more feminine sexuality", and again make me feel less masculine and more in control/comfortable. Just the fact that I've actually started HRT has also forced me to pay attention to and accept my AGP more (especially considering I've been repressing it in the past), so maybe it's not so much an increase in AGP as an expression of the AGP that was always there. I'm quite sure the arousal over my increasing femininity contributes too, of course, but it doesn't feel like that's a major factor compared to the others; I can't tell to what extent that's because I don't want to accept it.

>>6830919
Not that person but would you mind telling us a bit about yourself and life post-transitioning? I haven't heard much from transwomen who admitted to having AGP (probably due to the stigma attached to doing so).

>>6830769
It's more like "I'm incapable of thinking it and thus don't say anything about it unless I'm aroused" which leads me to the conclusion that it's more my sexuality than my actual gender. I don't want to transition because of my fetish because I am not my fetish.

The people I came out to were people I didn't know in real life, non-consequential things since our conversations are 1-on-1 and the subject of pronouns never really comes up. I also came out while aroused and thus the fetish.

Also the relief feels nice because I actually feel like myself.

I'm starting to quesiton just how auto my autogynephilia is. Thinking of other men being turned into women also really turns me on, even if I don't put myself in their place. Could I just have a fetish for mtf genderbending?

>>6832507
Me again, I'll expand on my post

I hate constantly having the feeling in the back of my head. This proposition of being transgender that leads to a ton of discomfort that I can't make go away. I don't want to transition. I want to be me. I hate these feelings that simply refuse to go away, and I feel weak and helpless not being able to do anything about them

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>>6797550
Is there a tinder/grinder for trannies out there? I like men and I like women but what drives me really crazy are people like me with characteristics of both. Is there an app or website to help establish connections like that?

>>6810417
>tfw trying to determine whether I'm this or trutrans

>>6826809
>>6826504
YES IT HELPS

It's helping me a lot. I have had no physical changes yet, but the occasional "I should kill myself" has really basically gone away, AND my anxiety is way down. I'm still closeted and present 100% masculine (aside from painted nails sometimes). Also my AGP is basically gone?

>>6833013
Is there even enough of a market for that?

>>6833200
It'd be niche as all hell but I feel like the climate is right for it to exist. You let those transtrender tumblr weirdos make profiles there and you'd have a decent userbase. Some of them take hrt anyway so it's basically okay.

I sometimes put on girly clothes and jack off to sissy hypno and as soon as I cum I feel disgusted with myself.......

where does that put me?

>>6833241
Classic AGP tendency. Tell me more, why do you think you like this stuff? Do you want to look like a girl all the time? Do you want to be treated like a girl at all?

>>6833257
I don't really look like a girl, I was being told when I was young that I looked girly and I took offense to it so I started running, swimming and recently started going to the gym.

And not really I don't really wanna be treated like a girl.

I would probably have different answers to this if i were horny though.

Maybe I just got desensitized to normal porn and wanted to try out something new....

>>6833268
Let me be clearer, do you want to look like a girl at all? Are you comfortable being a man? If I gave you the choice to be on of these 4 things, which would you choose? You can answer twice if being aroused changes your answer that much.

>Feminine woman
>Masculine woman
>Masculine man
>Feminine man

>>6833290
I'd say masculine man, and my rational and conscious self doesn't let me respond any other way because I can't take what my dopamine overloaded brain thinks seriously.

Here's the thing though. I'm into girls, I love girls, I'm disgusted by muscly women and men, but I'm not at all disgusted by passable femboys/traps even though I know they have penises, I wouldn't mind sucking one either.

And I honestly have no idea why I like dressing up like a girl sometimes but it makes me rock hard.

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Greetings thread. I have not visited /lgbt/ in some time. For context, I am a 26 year old mtf on hormones for 8 years now. I'm bi with a strong lean towards the ladies. When I first started, I had a strong desire to have a female body, but I was uncertain about gender identity. I did not have any major issues growing up as a boy, and I only started to recognize something unusual going on in me around age 14, when puberty kicked in, and I pretty much had a CD/TG fetish. I had dysphoria, but I was never particularly feminine, my female identity only really kicked in after I started transition, and after I got the reassurance that boobs and curves felt *right* on me. Heck, 8 years later and I still rarely bother with makeup, and most of my wardrobe is t-shirts, camis, and jeans.

I know a lot of self identified trans ladies who are bi and lesbian. I know a some who have done a full transition (srs included) but still identify as genderqueer. So my question is this - why make a separate label for autogynephile?

>>6833364
Do you regret it? Going from mtf?

Knowing you still behave like a man and you still like girls?

How do you find a suitable partner to spend the rest of your life with? I don't think girls have fetishes for mtf who are into girls with a limp dick.

>>6833389
Several misconceptions.

>Do you regret it?
I've not once regretted it. I even set up a stipulation when I started hormones that if I ever got uncomfortable with what was happening in my body that I would stop and reassess. But it never came up.

>Knowing you still behave like a man and you still like girls?
The way I see it, it's not about behaving like a man or woman, I'm just acting as a person, and I present myself as female. If anything I see myself as vaguely tomboyish in how I dress... but I also have long hair that I take care of.

>How do you find a suitable partner to spend the rest of your life with?
It's not particularly hard. You just find people that accept you for who you are, who might also have an interest in you sexually.

>I don't think girls have fetishes for mtf who are into girls with a limp dic
Two things. One, you'd be surprised (I will admit I've had more success with bi women than les women), and two, my dick isn't limp. But I hear I'm one of the unusual ones with regards to penis functionality.

>>6833333
You are disgusted by muscly men but you want to be one?

>>6833364
Since I've only very rarely seen someone on here who has been on hormones for more than a year or two, how long did changes occur and how much of male puberty did you experience?

>>6833492
Not really. I'm staying in shape. And I could really push myself to bench a lot more and get stronger but I'm not because I don't wanna reach a point where I just have a ridiculous amount of muscle tissue to the point that my blood vessels try to poke out(Dwayne Johnson style).

I would post pics but I'm somewhat paranoid a friend of mine reads these threads and I wouldn't want her to know about my dressing up as a girl to masturbate thing.... but basically I reached the point where I can wear very tight slim fit t-shirts and look good in it.

>>6833492
Oh and I forgot to mention, I love my hair, I'm currently 21 and I don't wanna be almost bald at 30 because of ridiculous amounts of testosterone, I would look disgusting without hair.

>>6833520
I see. So it's not the masculinity necessarily, but large muscles in particular that disgust you? Can you describe what your ideal body would be, if you could magically have any body?

>>6833524
In that case, if any of your close male relatives balded or lost hair, you should take finasteride at the first sign or even as a preventative.

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>>6833528
Early days Cristiano Ronaldo. I'm not even into football it was the only thing I could find though.

Right now I'm only lacking the traps.

>>6833364
>>6833474
pls be me from future

>>6833583
I hate youngfags

>>6833508
Male puberty made me 6'2" tall, touched up the angles in my face a bit, dropped my voice, and gave me an Adams apple. I managed not to get facial hair. I was a runner as a kid so I had good legs and butt starting off.

Given I was underweight, it took 2-3 months to get beads of breast tissue under my nipples, 9ish months to consider them AAA or AA cup, and 1-2 years to reach As. About 2 years ago I put on some weight and now I'm somewhere between a B and C (and still growing). I noticed skin changes after a month (softer). I noticed new smells within a week. My emotions came more naturally within a week (I actually spotnaneously danced to music for the first time ever). My hips rotated forward a bit after a year. My cheekbones filled in after a year and a half. I'm pretty sure at some point my penis got smaller, and it never gets hard unless I deliberately get turned on. My cum volume has not decreased but it's a lot more clear.

Biggest thing for me is I like what I see in the mirror now.

Anyone have anymore thoughts on my posts?
>>6832821
>>6832507
I still feel a mesh of emotions and junk

>>6833013
I think you could just use any normal dating/hookup site just put that you are trans in your profile and make sure people know before meeting you.

>>6833520
>I just have a ridiculous amount of muscle tissue to the point that my blood vessels try to poke out(Dwayne Johnson style).
Saying that is an insult to every person who lifts seriously. You're saying
>oh, I could EASILY get that big, without even trying!
No. No you cannot.

>>6835355
>I get really push myself to bench a lot more
>without even trying
Your poor delicate feelings tho

>>6833364
Because I don't know if I'm genuinely trans or just really confused by my autogynephilia... which I don't even know IS autogynephilia because see
>>6832722

I know a ton of people experience cross-gender arousal, transition and do well. It is just hard to figure out whether you could be one of those people.

>>6835440

>1. Denial – The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
>2. Anger – When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".
>3. Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
>4. Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon, so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?" During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
>5. Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it." In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

>>6835455
Hey, I'm not exactly new to this. When the very thought of being a woman turns you on half of the time you can't help but doubt yourself, especially if since puberty you just thought that you had a very strange fetish.

I could be in denial about being trans and I could be in denial about having some strange, warped sexuality, in which case thinking of myself as potentially trans rather than just a pervert is a form of escapism.

I wrote
>>6798509
so it is not like I don't think that someone like this can be trans.

>>6835497
What do you want to be told?

>>6835536
The truth! but what I'd like the truth to be is that I'm trans and also that some goddamn technomagic can make me pass in the next decade tops. What I'm afraid of is the truth being the opposite of that. What I suspect, though, is that no one really knows or can help me figure this out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

>>6835575
You're trans.

>>6835575
Well what I'm assuming is if you want to be told that you're trans then you're trans

congrats, your hormones are in the next room

>>6835591
Thanks, O Oracle of Delphi.

>>6835593
Why do you think this is a reasonable assumption to make?

>>6835597
Because why would someone who isn't trans hope the truth is that they are trans

>>6835440
That's not looking at it from the right perspective. You're trying to fit yourself to a label, rather than identifying what is best for you, and then deciding if the label fits.

If this is something that has taken up a significant portion of your mental space, it's worth investigating. If this is something that has consumed you, even during periods of non-arousal, I'd argue that's a pretty big sign of dysphoria. Your average person will not have that level of identity crisis, especially not for something as specific as body incongruence.

As far as I'm concerned, your sexuality (who you're attracted to, and what fetishes you might possess) doesn't really matter, because that's just what you find arousing. What matters is if you genuinely feel that you would prefer having a female body / or alternatively if you find that you dislike your male body.

>>6835497
How you describe your sexual behavior as a teenager sounds extremely similar to my own. Age 14-17 slowly I would build up an interest in crossdressing, fap, get wrecked by a pile of shame, hide everything, repress the feelings, wait a week, get curious again, rinse and repeat. I didn't break the cycle until I recognized that I was needlessly destroying and punishing myself for the admittedly unusual behavior. Once I started to accept it, I found I was actually able to begin crossdressing without the arousal pattern. Then I found out about transsexuals, and figured their story sounded awfully similar to my own, even if a couple of the details were different. I don't know if that gives you any comfort, but don't think that deviant behavior automatically disqualifies you from having legitimate feelings of gender dysphoria.

>>6835599
Because being trans is preferable to being something worse.

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>>6835609

>>6835608
Everything you wrote rings true, which kind of scares me. I've heard all of your arguments before but you've still somehow convinced me in the span of a few short paragraphs. Strange. Thank you.

Now to hold out for that technomagic haha..

>>6835608
That's funny, my sexual behavior is different. I just felt that once the fap was done I didn't feel the need to crossdress. Most of the other stuff is similar

>>6835642
You probably know yourself best, but I wouldn't hold out too long. I've been holding out for better SRS tech, and... there really has not been much progress at all since I first researched into it all 9 years ago. They have some cool stuff lined up, like 3D printing ovaries. But I don't think we'll see it for a trans audience for quite some time. Let alone something that has "magic" in the name.

However, in the meantime I really enjoy my boobs, so that's something.

>>6835656
Perhaps I read your story too hastily and made some assumptions. Ah well...

>>6835694
Oh, I wasn't the person you replied to

>>6835694
there was one poster on reddit who claimed there are a lot of papers (in mandarin) that describe stem cell techniques in use for trans vaginas
i'm still trying to find it out and message this person

>>6835694
>You probably know yourself best, but I wouldn't hold out too long. I've been holding out for better SRS tech, and... there really has not been much progress at all since I first researched into it all 9 years ago. They have some cool stuff lined up, like 3D printing ovaries. But I don't think we'll see it for a trans audience for quite some time. Let alone something that has "magic" in the name.
The issue is that I'm a huge hulking superman. Not much to work with.

The second person who replied to you is someone else.

>>6835376
What did you attempt to say?

>>6835803
>The issue is that I'm a huge hulking superman. Not much to work with.

Storytime. I've dated two trans girls who were ripped pre-transition. One was a rock climber, the other was air force. The rock climber I only met after she had been on hormones 1-2 years (she started around 23-24), but her picture timeline was fucking unbelievable, like almost fairy-tale level. So unbelievable that she caught a lot of unwanted attention when someone posted it over on reddit. But maybe she had really good genetics, or perhaps some form of undisclosed Aussie magic. Now, the air force girl, in contrast, is actually still very built today, years later (I forget how old she is, but I think she started around 2010-2011). She does parkour now, and yeah she looks pretty butch, but her face softened up quite a bit, and I'd still consider dating her if she hadn't moved out of state.

Overall, I'm not going to feed you some bullshit narrative that the simple action of taking hormones magically fixes everything... because they don't. People still find themselves dropping into depression and hitting ruts, even after SRS. But if you give hormones enough time to do work, they can get a lot done.

I should probably stop, in the interest of not sounding too preachy. I just hate to see a legitimate option go unconsidered.

>>6835880
the problem is if you're hulking but not because you're muscled

>>6835880
>I should probably stop, in the interest of not sounding too preachy.
Honestly I think a lot of people on this board could use some preaching, myself included. I understand that you're trying to help and I appreciate it.

Not saying that it is absolutely impossible for hormones to do anything for me but as the other Anon implied my problem is my skeleton rather than muscle. Broad shoulders, barrel chest, wide jaw. Being very tall doesn't help either. This is why I feel that I have to hinge my hope on a technological leap of some sort.

>>6835880
Are you in Aus? Are you trans? How do we do it down here? Going top a gender therapist next week...

>>6838239
Afraid not, I'm over in the states. I used to know a number of Aus mtfs, but that number has since declined to down to one. However, it sounds like the therapist should be able to hook you up.

>>6838298
Okay... thanks senpai

>>6835974

Just curious, what are your measurement s? The mtfs on this board here act like their gargantuan hons even though i'm stockier than all of them as a 5'9" guy.

The reddit hons claim the ribcage can shrink some due to cartilage shrinkage and muscle loss from hrt.

I'm actually more interested in the neurological effects of hrt, theres no point in being a hon if its harder to function on E than T. On the other hand if I function better on E, than hondom may be worth it.

>>6838554
>I'm actually more interested in the neurological effects of hrt
Some say one must be "TruTrans" to get the same effect... but personally I might not even be. However, hrt has made me feel amazing. Maybe it's mostly relief to be avoiding further masculinization? And there has been some difficulty with adversity; when people are mean to me or I don't succeed, I take it harder than I did on testosterone. But I do feel very disinhibited in a nice way. I was kind of bitchy for a little bit starting out, but not really in a way I couldn't control. That's already settled down. Now I just feel more in the moment, and I am less in control of my emotions. This isn't to say I can't control my actions, but when I get an emotional stimulus, I can no longer go "eh, just don't acknowledge it and it will go away." Before it was like I felt emotions by choice, now I actually feel them by consequence. This can of course be good or bad depending on the context, but overall I think I like it quite a bit. Of course it's only been a month, so the longer term changes haven't hit yet, but the acute difference in hormone levels can certainly be felt.

I'm curious to see coming up how it will have impacted my motivation/work ethic, since I will be going back to school in a few weeks.

18 3m hrt:

I wish I was a woman, but I don't think I am or ever can be I'm pretty AGP,

I wish I wasn't, maybe then I'd feel more valid in my identity. I don't want to stop HRT, but that's 70% fear of T and 30% me liking the effects of E Being trans sucks so bad :(

>>6838634
I've been getting straight A's since starting estrogen, fwiw.

>>6839206
and I failed out of grad school since, fwiw

>>6838634
'TruTrans' is just people clinging onto their own brand of Special Snowflakism. I'm reminded of asinine 'gender tests' where if you happen to be good at math, it meant you would get branded as having a masculine brain. It's complete rubbish, pseudoscience.

There has been a lot of documentation that estrogen has a notable effect on your mood. Both MtFs and FtMs have reported a great deal of relief associated in just receiving hormone replacement therapy. My personal assumption is that the body knows what it needs - if you get hungry, you crave food; if you feel better on estrogen, then it's probably quite right for you.

>>6839309
or more likely they're just experiencing relief at the idea that they will no longer develop further in their unwanted sex, and would receive the same benefit from placebo

>>6839309
of course, until they found out it wasn't actually doing anything to prevent their continued masculinization

>>6839325
This comment is fair (placebo effect can definitely be influencing confirmation), while...
>>6839333
This comment is just plain incorrect.

>>6839206
I got almost straight As as a trans woman before hrt desu.

>>6839309
This is why I put "trutrans" in quotes. I don't think there's any two trans narratives can be identical, and to try to delineate those which are valid and those which are not seems to me arbitrary and asinine.

>>6839388
so if you get relief from a placebo and then two years later realize you're still balding and growing into a caveman you're going to be just as ok with this?

>>6839389
I like your style then. Would you happen to have an answer for my earlier question?
>>6833364
>why make a separate label for autogynephile?

>>6839405
Except, HRT reverses balding. I'm going to assume now that you're just a troll, unless you really are that stupid/uninformed.

>>6839435
m8 you aren't even making sense
let's just stop this because it's not important

>>6839417
>why make a separate label for bisexual?

>Come out as trans to people online
>Less than a week later "lol nevermind I don't feel as trans as I did before"
Being AGP is fucking suffering I don't want to just think I'm trans enough to come out and then feel cis enough to be able to take it back forever

>21 inch shoulders
>6 foot 1
>220 lbs
I lost 17 lbs so far, at this point is it better to just stick with being a man for the rest of my life?

What workouts for a girlish figure?

>>6839309
>My personal assumption is that the body knows what it needs
You write like someone who knows nothing about hormones. Your body doesn't gives a shit that you wish you were a girl.

>>6840058
It's not like we know what's the cause of transsexualism..

>>6840058
What, 8 years of taking pills twice a day isn't enough?

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>always wanting to be more feminine, enjoying things that are known as feminine (makeup, cd'ing)
>indifferent to peen
>dont get aroused at thought of being female, just want to live life and be cute af
>successful as male, smart, great grades, strong, lots of fighting experience etc
>not good looking but not ugly guy
Opinions? Does me wanting to be cute and enjoy makeup and stuff make me AGP or is it literally only if it turns you on?
>pic related, gross facial hair and complexion

>>6839944
since you're a fatass you have a decent chance at those shoulders being mostly tissue

>>6840132
>If you get hungry, your body craves food
That's such a childish thing to say. Yes, hunger is the feeling of wanting to eat. Thats the same as saying when you're thirsty, you want to drink. That's what the words mean.
>Youe body knows it wants female hormones
No, it doesn't. Your body doesn't "think" like you make it sound.

And no, popping pills doesn't teach you endocrinology.

>>6840073
I can absolutely guarantee you that transsexualism is not caused by "the body wanting estrogen/testosterone".
Why would that make sense? I can't come up with a reason why the body, rather than the mind, would care.

>>6840201
>dont get aroused at thought of being female, just want to live life and be cute af
Not AGP. Congrats.

>>6840245
The two are very much linked. I can't speak for the other Anon but I think you're just taking things too literally. You are your mind so of course it is your mind that ultimately "cares" about these things but it obviously senses the body and adjusts based on the information sent from it. Is it hard to believe that the body could be sending "something is wrong" feedback because it lacks a certain substance?

>>6839417
Would you repeat the question for me? I'm not quite sure to what you're referring.

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>>6840236
I'm not saying that 8 years of taking pills makes you wholly educated on endocrinology, but it was an answer to:
>You write like someone who knows nothing about hormones.

So really, you just hate the way I write, and that's fine. But you're making blind attacks in whether or not I know shit about hormone replacement therapy. Mind you, I researched a good deal into this whole mess back when I started, and I also regularly ask my doctor who specializes in transgender care if there have been any updates within the medical community with regards to trans care.

Transsexual individuals almost universally report feelings of dysphoria as a result of going through an undesired puberty, or that their feelings of distress from before puberty amplified as a result of it. Similarly, transsexuals report a great deal of relief alongside hormone replacement therapy.

For me, take a concept like cravings. Pregnant women get them the most, but sometimes everyday people get them too. It your body's way of communicating to you it could use a specific nutrient. Or look at Phantom limb syndrome, in spite of the absent limb, the body still attempts to communicate that something is wrong. Finally, let's look at hormone imbalances in non-transsexual individuals. There's a whole myriad of symptoms, including depression, that result from the body receiving an incorrect amount of hormones.

My assumption is a simple one, I think the body communicates to a trans person that something is wrong, and that it is a part of why we experience dysphoria. I use 'think' here because science has not determined what exactly causes transsexualism, or why these symptoms emerge. There have only been a few studies run on us, and the sample size is so small that there's little confidence in the numbers we do have. Advancements in our care have been sparse, and the only thing we know works is medical and surgical transition, because literally everything else we've tried hasn't worked.

>>6813887
perhaps he's wondering why you'd dress a man in women's clothes before jerking him off

>>6839309
>Both MtFs and FtMs have reported a great deal of relief associated in just receiving hormone replacement therapy.
Was it placebo-controlled study?

>>6840318
Mtf reporting in.
I've thought a lot about the topic you wrote about in your post.
There was a time when I wondered why there were so many transsexuals who wanted to mutilate their gentials, e.g. chopping their dick off during puberty or later. I always thought that this is totally crazy and clear sign of insanity.
Then I read that self-castration was the only way to go for a transsexual in ancient times. There was a roman ritual where any spectator was able to join a group who had drugs and a special device for chopping off dicks. The person chopped off their dick and threw their genitals into a house of their choice. The owners of the building were considered as blessed and it was their duty and honor to shelter the castrated person and give them female clothes and provide anything for them to transition socially. I can give you the sources if you like.
Well, that historical fact really made me think. Maybe it's not only necessary to start HRT for certain visible effects like smooth skin etc., but for the general mood and psyche.

>>6845020
Wouldn't placebo controlling a life-saving treatment be considered unethical?

>>6845063
not if the participants agreed...

>>6798403
Yes.

>>6845128
That defeats the purpose of placebo, don't you think?

>>6845195
>I agree to participate in a blind study in which I will be given x medication or placebo
???

>>6845054
>I can give you the sources if you like.
Not that person but please do.

>>6825356
As a vegetarian myself, I'd have to disagree. I'm still plenty horny. Medications or not knowing what you are actually into would be my bet.

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>>6845295
Sure, anon.
primary sources:
Lucian of Samosata: Dea Syria
https://web.archive.org/web/20040522090200/http://www.geocities.com/soho/lofts/2938/deasyria5.html
You can also read Plutarch:
http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2008.01.0051%3Achapter%3D13%3Asection%3D2

wikipedia article:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galli

This might also be of interest for you:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphroditus

>>6845342
Thanks.
Ancient people sure had a thing for castration.

>>6840201
than you're not agp, got to femgen or /fa/ but come back here, you'll catch it

42cm shoulders on a 5'9" person is light years away from being feminine right?

>Start thinking I might be trans after all
>Get turned on by a completely innocent thought where I pictured myself as a woman
>Completely invalidated
get me off this ride

>>6845054

>chopping off penis and balls
>not just castration and being a dick girl

>>6846279
God are you me

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sometimes I wish I had just lost all memory and forgot all that agp shit and live a new life

>>6846279
>>6847670
>>6847822
all aboard the FEEL train

>sometimes I wish I had just lost all memory and forgot all that agp shit and live a new life
What's the context of this post?

waitaminute if this is a fetish why is every person in this thread a miserable fuck this is not the case for other, more extreme fetishes are we being rused by the blanchard?

I reasonably often sexually fantasize about me being a woman (and wanting a sex with a man), yet on the other times I would also feel very happy and fullfilled being a muscular barbarian riding through wastelands with my war band, raping and
> crushing my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of their women

Does that make me an AGP?

>also sweet jesus captcha christ is google trying to take over all world storefronts?

>>6848518
It was literally always a typology of transsexuals
It's TERFs and /lgbt/ posters who say AGP isn't trans

>>6846124
You meant 42" right?

>>6848687
>It was literally always a typology of transsexuals
>It's TERFs and /lgbt/ posters who say AGP isn't trans
Well fuck. Talk about bad luck. Nevermind that I have to be a tranny, I got to be the embarrassing, perverted type.

>>6848765
you can always just get over it and realize there is literally L I T E R A L L Y nothing wrong with being AGP

>>6848017
>At work
>Feel cis for a couple hours
>bunch of cute girls in cute outfits that I wanna wear, some girls even taller than me, come in
>Okay I'm trans I can do this I'm a girl I'm gonna
>Go home
>Fap it off
>Back to normal
Honestly I want the trans side of me to go away more.

nü

>>6851240
>>6851240