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I know it's not a surprise, but I have basically no real-life friends. I spend most of my free time behind my computer… and it's always been like that, even when I was a kid. I've always socially-awkward, people used to bully me or use me. I never felt accepted. Besides that, I'm an mtf tranny. There weren't much in my early childhood, but still I know something was already happening. At some stage I even wanted to try being masculine, but failed and didn't even enjoy that. I hated the way my body changes and I wanted to be more like my mum than my dad. After I found out about transsexuality and I talked to few trans people on the internet my life totally changed. I don't try to be a man anymore and I feel stronger, better represented and more free this way. I have a therapist, but she's a gatekeeper so I'm not on HRT yet, but I sorta pass when I put some foundation on and do my hair… so I hope this can still help me, even though I'm already almost 19.
However, my family sees that differently. They claim it's just because I'm addicted to internet and I 'never really had a chance to be a boy in the first place'. Their opinion is that I simply wasn't accepted as a boy, so I'm trying to be something I am not. My therapist tells me that I should know the best; I even had some psychological tests performed on me which confirmed my gender to be female (they kinda suck, but still…). So who should I trust? Maybe my mum is right? But holy shit, I don't want to turn into a complete man. Being a man seems totally abstract to me.
Should I care what they say? And… if you think I'm a man… how can I convince myself and combat my dysphoria?
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Dude...don't take your parents advice. Parents are fucking dumb. My mom still refuses to believe I'm FTM because I had a puppy crush on a boy in 5th grade. My Dad thinks the fact that I can draw means I'm feminine (???)
You know yourself best. Only you know what's been going on inside your head. Your parents will probably argue and deny it until they're 6 feet under because old people will never understand. Just like you can't convince a white Christian grandmother to stop shitting on black people.
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>>6746410
Jesus, so your parents seem to be even worse than mine. My parents at least try to be logical maybe, but still they just take some minor things like a middle school crush and make it a reason why I'm really a boy… some of which are not even true. I remember when my mum asked me 'so which of the girls at school do you like the most, huh?' and I was like 'ummm, Emily is rather pretty I guess…' and now, years later, they claim I was attracted to her. To be honest I'm bi, but I really didn't like her in the slightest.
I guess they just have their own version of me in their heads. I'll always be their 'son' probably.
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>>6746444
Their "logic" is bullshit also. You have dysphoria about your body, which has nothing to do with internet usage or not having friends.
And yes, they will always see you as their son. Like don't even bother arguing with them, it'll cause you more emotional stress than hearing your birth name. Just get to a point where you can transition, join a support group, meet people who will treat you like a girl and forget your stupid parents.
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>>6746444
> I was like 'ummm, Emily is rather pretty I guess…' and now, years later, they claim I was attracted to her. To be honest I'm bi, but I really didn't like her in the slightest.
Come on my British friend. We all know you still have a crush on Emily.
And that you also want to be her at the same time.
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>>6746476
Yup, that's what I'm planning to do. I avoid talking with them about any trans-related topics. I'm also moving out rather soon, because they won't let me take hormones at home… so I'll be able to finally be myself, maybe start collecting a wardrobe and making friends under my real name. I even took part in the pride parade (in my eastern European country it's really just a friendly event that even cis/straight people attend) and met few other trans people. I really felt happy and I guess I want my life to go this way, not another.
>>6746488
Nah, I really didn't. I may have had a crush on another girl, but it's rather like I wanted to be her I think.
And I'm not British, what made you think that? Gosh, I hope I don't talk like a Brit.
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