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Anonymous
Worried about my friend 2016-08-10 00:15:07 Post No. 6705211
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Worried about my friend 2016-08-10 00:15:07 Post No. 6705211
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So I have a friend I know from school. Keep in mind we're both in our 30s now.
He has a job and a kid and everything, his own place and was even married for a while. The thing is all through his early 20s and even as a kid he wanted to be a girl and always got caught and punished by his family.
Like, his dad savagely beat him. Not just like, belt to the ass and grounded and sent to bed, I'm talking punched in the head and knocked out while crying and being called a faggot.
He's pretty normal most of the time now. Always cracking jokes at work, gets along with everyone even thought he's a manager. Constantly gets invited out to clubs and such when he doesn't have his kid but just declines.
The thing is when he's alone at home. That's when the messed up shit happens, I think.
I was housesitting for him a couple weeks back and found journals with all sorts of fucked up drawings and shit, torn up women's clothes and drawings of himself dressed up being burned and whatever.
Apparently when he has "bad thoughts" he prays and scolds himself with near boiling water to the point where he can't feel it anymore. He also drinks. A lot. That's not even a secret.
I've told him just to embrace himself and get help and maybe just be who he really feels he is but he just yells about how "No, that's how you lose everything, that's how they take your kid and you fuck up and become a degenerate freak and your kid winds up in foster care"
He'd rather kill himself with booze and hurt himself with self torture and psychosis than just seek help and admit he's gay/trans or whatever.
Should I just leave him be?
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Noice fiction mate, rp somewhere else
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>>6705211
Shit if that's not bait I don't know what to do.
He sure fucked up by having kids and a wife.
If he transitions every single thing will break.
>Wife will probably divorce.
>Take kids away from him.
>Kids will be bullied because they got a tranny mom.
>His family will fuck him up too (dad / mom / etc)
>They will probably not let him see his kids either unless there's some ugly judicial battle.
I don't really know what to do. He killing himself is also terrible because that will scar his kids a lot.
Fuck...
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>>6705240
Seconded
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>>6705211
thats just horrible anon.. can you tell us more? like what is his wife viewpoint on trans and all and if he could do it in a way his dad/mom/ family etc wouldn't know?
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>>6705211
Look at this faggot who thinks his friend's too good to kill themselves like the rest of us trannies.
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>>6705211
>tfw if this continues and he ends killing himself and the kids find out when they are grown up and the guilt of knowing that their father killed himself just to maintain normalcy for them slow eats them away
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>>6705211
That's definitely a fucked up life story. Are her parents still alive? What is her religion? Are her fears about losing her job unfounded?
Maybe you should show her r/asktransgender or this place.
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>>6705509
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>>6705211
>>6705254
If he's in his thirties he's got a few more years before his mind completely breaks and he either kills himself or ruins everything with transitioning.
There's no happy ending.
Best ending is he gets on bicalutamide and raloxifene in secret for the next 10 or so years while his kid grows up, then divorce the wife (for unrelated reasons), then switch to cyproterone acetate and estradiol valerate injections and transition properly.
That way the children aren't scarred for life, the wife can't take everything, and the damage is minimized.
It still ruins things, but not nearly as badly.
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>>6705254
you forgot that he also won't pass
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>>6705211
>Should I just leave him be?
Yeah. You're not a professional. You'd only do damage if you drag that shit out of her without a proper plan for support or experience with extreme repression/self hatred. Are you gonna take her in when her conservative wife kicks her out? When CPS takes her kid? When her family disowns her and the church basically excommunicates her? Fuck no you're not. You'll run the hell away from the implosion because it'll be ugly and keeping someone from killing themselves is a full-time job. That's why people are trained heavily and paid handsomely for it.
If anything, give them information to find real support, LGBT groups, therapists, etc. Don't play armchair therapist because you feel bad. Your intentions are outstanding, and I hope you continue to be as empathetic as you are in life, but think this shit through.
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