Post the story of how you learned being trans was a thing you could do

i saw a youtube video of chris crocker

not joking

>>6687062
I heard of Kim Petras and thought, I could do that too. But then I thought, I'm not trans so I repressed.

Same kind of. Late into high school I was chainsmoking and getting high just to relax, I wanted so desperately to just wriggle out of my skin and be free. Everything about the male body felt so fucking uncomfortable but I knew nothing about transness and was too scared to ask anyone, I thought I was developing schizophrenia or something.

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>>6687062
I always told myself that if i worked hard at being a man studying science at university i would one day be able to turn myself into a cute little girl with genetics and cybernetics etc. But then i discovered this board and found out i was not the only one doing this, which shattered my delusions of grandeur. Now i am trying to get on hrt,and trying my hardest not to become a hon.

>be me
>be on 4chan
>see linetrap (bailey jay)
>how can a guy look like this
>HRT
>oh
>was 17
>did not start till just before 23 cause home issues
hurts

>>6687062
A guy showed me this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJCsACeWVWs

I became curious of bou, after watching their videos, like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx25JCEKq7U (where he enters female bathroom)
Was assuming it was wanting to be a girl, and crossdressing. Still very sure it wasn't transsexualism, since all I had seen and read about that was that it was a fetish (50 year old men, who wanted to "have sex like a woman", etc).

Took a year of cautious research, to find out that it could maybe be transsexualism.
After seeing some youtube video of a russian/turkish looking trans girl, I started trying to figure out more about what could actually be done.
I was always a "realist" though, so I wasn't very positive about it, suicide was still a very strong competing argument.

>>6687062
Holy fuck this is exactly my story. I'm still up in my weed cloud, it's been a full crash and burn out of college into a smaller and smaller isolation. I was laying in the bathroom, eating in there even it was fucking disgusting. I literally lived in a bathroom in my own autistic thoughts writing cyborg fiction I never externalized. During this time I lost most of my friends, said some really fucked up shit (texted) to a lot of people, walked like an autistic kid with a huge back pack thro the park, cried in the woods constantly at night, and just contemplated suicide. I also wrong edgy boy lyrics to scream into a mic someday. I'm so fucking edgy. WATCH THIS I'M THROWING CONFETTI! BACK STAGE RAPING GOATS IN MY CHEVY cuz I never could be told what to do :-3

I woke up 2 days before my birthday in Feb. Of 2016 And the words just hit me. Like I was naked looking in the mirror through tears in my eyes and just knew: "you are supposed to be a woman." and I just broke. I didn't even know "Trans" existed. Like any time Bruce Jenner would come up I would just frustrated and deflect it in to "creepy just keep it away from me I don't honestly care people can do what they want".
I'm now 4 days on HRT and I'm 25 and there is a high chance I'll never recover from this.

I'm going to go shaved in the shower, smoke my day away, and starve myself again. I developed some really bad eating disorders in the months spent spiraling into the bathroom.


I questioned reality and thought I was having psychotic episodes, I went from no panic attacks ever, to daily panic attacks, to a LITERAL CONSTANT PANIC that lasted about a month straight.

When I was like 4 or 5 I assumed all homosexuals transitioned
No idea where it came from

>>6687062
I salute you, OP. You made it!
I used to smoke weed everyday, too. It helped with my dysphoria at least temporarily.

>>6691345
>"My greatest wish is to be a girl. Sadly, I am not transsexual"
Yeah, I did that repression thing, too...

>>6691387
Don't blame yourself. Having a supportive family and/or friends is the most important thing for transitioning early.

>>6691393
This is 100% me (except I was "triggered" by other media).

>>6691402
u my fav bb
u do u

>>6691735
I'm locked in my childhood bathroom on the floor with my back against a very uncomfortable wall with a hot pink towel covering between my legs so I don't scream.

I hate my existence.

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There was an article about some poor country with third gender bullshit and how a boy would become a women and would take care of their mother and father.

Then there was documentary on discovery channel about trans people but I never made connection between boy -> hrt -> girl. I just assumed they were born this way. I was very stupid kid.

Oh and at one point my brother called me to see whats on TV - it was documentary about people who suffer from BBD he laughed and told me "see it's about you" because I was know for hatred of my body.

Finally when I was 19 or 20 I stumbled on 420chan when I saw a timeline for the first time in my life like the one with miserable boy on one side and happy girl on the other.

And guess what? I bought into "it's too late for me" meme

Started HRT at 25.

Sometime in ~2003 we had sex ed class and I clearly remember my teacher telling us "We now live in a time when it's possible to change your sex."

I'm not absolutely sure if that's the first time I knew it was possible, (I might have seen a documentary on TV about trans people earlier on) but it's what I remember the most clearly.

>>6692070
>"We now live in a time when it's possible to change your sex."
are you a time traveler from the 23rd century?

>>6691367
Wat

>>6691393
Man, I fucking love the unicorn trans-girls that can blow you away. Keeps my beliwf in the race going.

>Be me
>be 6 years old
>Watching crying game with dad on tv
>Reveal comes on
>Dad is like "Oh shit, wtf"
>But inside I'm like "wait a minute. I think I'm like that"

/end

>>6691387
Same... like, before then I knew the word transgender but I thought it just had to do with dragqueens and transvestites and shit. When I was 14 I was browsing /b/ and kept coming across the trap and trans threads and wanted to know how some 25 year old guy looked more fem than me. Did a bit of actual research on transgender shit and learned about hrt and basically went "fuck, you can actually do that? This is a thing?"

Unfortunately, I didn't tell anybody about how I felt until was 18 going on 19 and, because I'm a cuck beta-fag, I didn't even start to look at starting hrt or finding a therapist until I was 20 going on 21.

I saw a timeline of a successful MtF's transition. Never knew transgender was a thing before that point.

>14 years old
>tell close friend I'm super depressed
>mention dreams of looking in a mirror and seeing a girl
>always cry when I wake up
>she shows me a transition timeline
>get scared and pretend it's not possible
>see creepy looking hons on the news
>repress until 20

>>6691912
would you give me a piggyback ride??
you resemble my cis oneitis from highschool
i need this

>>6692265
I know it sounds absurd but its true. I made thread on here about being a repressing mad scientist and found out i wasn't alone

>>6696621
>>>>>>>>>>>>T H I S
I started uni as a biomedical engineering major for exactly two (three) reasons - work for the advancement of biomimetic prostheses, (bring about the glorious cyborg singularity), and on the side study gene manipulation to help trans people

>>6687062
a tranny joined our high school when I was 14 and started explaining it to people, immediately I was like "fucking hell, that's me, this is gonna fuck my shit up isn't it?"
didn't start til almost 21 because parents / living in countryside and now a total hon
thank christ for opiates

>>6691912
god nikky you had such a great transition, well done gal