fathers

I started hormones 8 years ago and my father still doesn't know I'm trans.

I haven't spoken with him in 10 years and have avoided all of his attempts to get back in contact.

My dad is awesome, and will probably pay for my monies come September when go-innawoods-and-kill-shit season starts :)

>>6674630
My dad disowned me when i came out as trans.

Seriously does anyone on this board have a good dad?
The best i've seen is "hes disappointed in me but accepts it"

>>6674654
my dad was like "oh, that makes sense, i knew something was up"
he supports me fully, and tells me to just do what will make me happy

>>6674630

That bastard is irritating. I can't believe I felt obligated to be a good son to that sack of shit. And now here I am, a mess of a person who's neither the person wanted to be or the person I tried to be.

>>6674636

Why not just tell him you're a tranny and then never have to avoid his attempts at communicating again? Is it that you just want to be on the other side of a dysfunctional relationship where it's your father who seeks you out? Do you want to feel like he loves you?

>>6674679
why irritating

>>6674679
>Why not just tell him you're a tranny and then never have to avoid his attempts at communicating again?
I'd rather him never know about it so he can never make snide remarks about it and gloat to his family.
>Is it that you just want to be on the other side of a dysfunctional relationship where it's your father who seeks you out?
It's entirely his fault that there is no contact. He shows no remorse for his actions and acts like it's our fault that we cut him out of our lives.
>Do you want to feel like he loves you?
I want him to apologize but he is incapable of it. He is also incapable of making up for what he's done.

I won't go into it but if you had such a shit father you wouldn't contact him either. My sister avoids his contact attempts all the same, and for all the same reasons. I'd be avoiding contact whether or not I were a tranny. Him having no part in his children's lives is entirely his own fault.

>>6674654
Your dad sounds like a good man. I would have done the same.

>>6674654
I think it's very difficult for a father to not be upset when when their "son" comes out as trans for the same reason a mother would generally have a hard time accepting their child as FtM.

Also because men tend to care about how alpha and tough they are more than women, and allowing your child to become an "ultrafag" could hurt your reputation.

>>6674630
Your Dad loves you. It might be hard to tell, but keep in mind your Dad probably has a hard time showing emotions, or having conversations about those types of things. I can speak from experience, I am a straight man, and a father. Your Dad does not care about how you identify, to him you are his child, and the Moment a man see's his baby for the first time he loves it. Loves it more than anything in the world. If he seems upset, I can tell you 100% it's not with you, he like most men are bad with emotions, and is probably frustrated with wife, job, bills, or other bullshit things. But a Mans child is never the issue, at least for most normal men.

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>>6674742
>I am a straight man, and a father
>legbut poster

mine died, a long time ago.

Sometimes i wonder if he made me like this, if i'd be different if he was still here.

My dad got super pissed and said a lot of hurtful things, but he got over it quickly. He loves me and he knows that he is old and thus we don't have time to waste on being angry over shit which shouldn't concern him anyway.

My stepfather never liked me anyway, but when he found out I was gay he kept trying to pimp me out to his gay friend which was weird and funny.

My mother is mess. She's in denial 80% of the time, but when something random reminds her of it, she starts crying or gets very pissed off.

>>6674742
even when he is specifically upset about me being a faggot

>>6674742
Nah, "parents" these days don't want a child because they know the responsibilities of having a child, they want a child so they can get social points for being a father/mother, looking mature/ nurturing . Living with immature parents who flip out over the most benign things, bringing up anything remotely close to gender and sexuality is asking for trouble.

>>6674835
Thats fucked up bro

>>6674863
I mean...I guess

>>6674714
I have the same brand of dad. Totally get you pham. Fuck em.

>>6674929
Doesn't it piss you off when normies who had good parents act like you're the bad guy for cutting them out of your life?
>Hurr hurr respect your parents lol forgive them lol :^)
>Kill yourself you coddled, sheltered pissant
errtime

>>6674680

Besides being unsupportive, he's always trying to do something he wants me to help him with (physical labor). Obviously it develops your upper body and you get scars (fortunately not too often), and I just feel I lose more than I gain just by being around him. The feeling's especially strong when I remember that I decided not to pursue transition just so I wouldn't upset him and my mother. I gave up what I wanted for a husk of a life. The pay is shit too. His idea of taking us out somewhere sucks as well. He would get mad at me just for not wanting to go somewhere, like visit family. Last summer, he actually punched me for not wanting to go to a lake to swim (which we later found out was closed anyway). He threatens to leave the family or kill himself too.

>>6674719

So how badly are you missing repressiongen, Miss?

>>6674721

There have been situations where fathers were totally chill about having an MtF daughter and the mother was the one who flipped out, you know. In fact, I saw one study that said something like 54% of mothers were initially unaccepting of having a transgender child, and later 50%. For fathers, I think it was something like 60% initially and mid 40% after.

>>6674833

>he kept trying to pimp me out to his gay friend which was weird and funny

What?

>>6674861

Before it was just because they wanted cheap labor, which is what I feel is my situation, honestly.

My dad was more supportive than my mom at the start. (When they found out that I had webcammed with a guy.) Mom freaked more, but my dad was like "If you want to do that, find somebody who you can trust."

Both of them support me 100%, and even said " we love you as much we did before" When I officially told them I got a boyfriend. <3

>>6674981
>What?
He tried to set me up with a single, wealthy, 50 something gay dude he is friends with to get me out of his hair.
>"Anon, be realistic, marrying up is the best you could do in life"
I believe were his exact words.

Practically never existed.

>>6674861
was it ever different?
Kids always seem to be no more than accessory to their parents

>>6674654
My dad is a very good person.
[spoiler]I still have to tell him I'm gay.[/spoiler]

>>6674630
My dad apparently used to be a "metrosexual-type" (according to my mom) who also had a room full of shirtless posters of Jim Morrison. The fact that he seemed gay and yet wasn't (or at least was bi, idk the jury is still out) is what attracted my mom to him in the first place, because she was almost exclusively attracted to gay men.

When I was young (under 12) my dad had pretty serious problems with anger, that bordered and probably crossed the line into abuse on at least a few occasions. But after around the time I was in middle school he got on better meds and also seemed to calm down in general (he was in therapy too) and our relationship got better. He has had life long problems with alcoholism and depression, and was orphaned relatively young (12 for his dad, early 20s for his mom), losing both his parents to alcohol related causes. While he had a small part in repressing my transition for a while (and was clearly a bit uncomfortable initially with my bisexuality, which I came out with well before I transitioned) my mom always played a much more active and manipulative role. When I finally got away from my parents long enough to begin my transition he accepted it much more quickly than my mom did, perhaps because he related to the depression I was expressing that dysphoria caused.

At the same time, he has had more difficulty than my mom with pronouns, but both of them dragged their feet so long as to be absurd in that regard that it hardly makes much of a difference. Overall, while he still seems to be a bit uncomfortable with certain aspects of me transitioning, he keeps those to himself, and makes no attempt to manipulate me out of them (unlike my mom).

Over all he acts rather camp a lot of the time, and the friends he has made at work are all gay men. But he has been married to my mom for over 25 years and never has had any suggestion of infidelity, so I don't really know.

My father was not real manly, and maybe I followed his ways. Except that when I was 15 I came home and found him dressed in women's clothes. He tried to explain it but I couldn't wrap my head around it. 20 years later when he died I still hadn't told anyone about it. I told my mother I'd go through his stuff so she wouldn't have to and threw out boxes of stuff she probably never knew about.

>>6674721
You underestimate the amount of cucks that became fathers, seriously the older I get the more I see how correct /r9k/ actually is. Beta-providers are just dissapoint because their sons also aren't as alpha as they always wanted to be.

>>6675481
Good on you anon. If he were my dad and hid that his whole life I'd respect his privacy too.

It would be deeply unsettling though, since I'm trans and would never know if he actually /was/ dealing with a lot of shit when I came out. It would be a rather horrific irony if it's a genetically predisposed condition.

>>6674630
you're a cute little twink, i will be your big daddy if you want,

>>6675709
wot

>>6674630
I feel I keep having to remind dad that I am gay, I've come out to him at least 6 times now.

>>6675759

Does it at least get better each time?

>>6674630
my dad doesn't disaprove i'm transitioning. he got my name and 'she' instead of 'he' within a short while. he's happy i'm happy, that i'm safe, i haven't cut off the family. my dad likes everyone in the family stable and happy really. i think. he says the best feeling in his life was when i was born despite him not wanting kids, but i think he feels guilty that i am the way i am, as i was born intersex. he might not really understand, and was a bit surprised at me coming out (despite always being weird and gay and girly, turning angry and isolated as i grew older). but i think he just thought i was a gay girly androgynous guy. that didn't really bother him either.

basically he's just cool, cares a lot and is not bothered about anything because i'm safe and happy.

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>>6674630
Jesus christ he looks so dead inside.