i'm super confused as to where i fit in.

>>6665694
and my preferences for a partner are equally confusing. i crave the soft compassion that i get from women, but still want a strong masculine man to make me his little girl. i dont feel right running my hands over a man's body, but still want his hands on me. with women i am just as conflicted. i want to give them pleasure, but am not comfortable being the top. as the years have gone on i care less and less about what i get out of sex and more about what i have to give. its gotten so bad that any time i realize that i have feelings for someone it makes me want to cry. because i know that they will never be able to give me what i want, because i dont even know what that is.

>>6665716
i have trouble even knowing which i prefer, as both sides have led me to nothing but disappointment. with men the sex is great but there is a lack of emotional intimacy, unless he's a super flamboyant whiny bitch and that just doesnt do it for me. with women i can have that emotional intimacy, but i have yet to find one who can understand or sympathize with my need to be submissive.
so i figured i'd see if transwomen give me the same issues. that did not pan out well. not only are they pretty hard to find in the chicago suburbs, but the ones that are here all say that i'm some pervy fetishist who only wants them because of some weird fantasy and they find it offensive.
i have no idea what to do

the pic isn't you right

>>6665765
i need help. i cant afford a shrink, nor can i spare the time for one.
i just want to find someone who can care about me and accept me for what i am, even though i have no fucking idea what that is.

and you want to know the real kicker? when i was 18 my parents got divorced because my dad came out as trans and my mother couldnt accept it. and i cant even bring myself to tell him. if there is any person who could help me through this it'd be him and i cant even tell him i'm bi; let alone that i'm wrestling with some sort of agp/trans/dysphoric clusterfuck.

>>6665770
it is, one of the few times i've had the balls to go out dressed up

>>6665802
so long story short, i have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me and i just needed to get that off my chest.

though any advice would be appreciated

Let me guess, you have a wife and children

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>>6665882
nope, my specific brand of sexual crazy has been really good at preventing that.
also, i will never have kids. i have no patience for them.
still single, though i was engaged once. didnt pan out.

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>>6665770
>>6665882
why do you ask?

>>6666056
>>6665810
You might get some hate from some really shitty people on here but don't listen to them. You look great hun!

That sounds like a mess OP. I think if you transitioned you might be more comfortable being with a man, since you say it makes you more flirty your inhibitions are clearly lowered or you are more comfortable as a woman. I'm not going to lie and say that you would have it easy at your age, but to me it sounds like transition is your best shot at happiness.

>>6665694
please stop and think clearly, do you want to identify as sexual fetish? do you want to be seen as literal freak by everyone besides other freaks?

look at you, youre a man in a dress, you like it and thats fine but just get the fact that you cant be a physical girl ever. maybe it hurts but if i want to be a bird i also cant be a bird it just wont work.

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>>6665694
>"trans talk really hits home, BUT..."
>"for as long as i can remember i've wanted to be a girl, BUT..."
>"i started getting into all that sissy shit because the thought of being feminine has always turned me on, BUT..."
>"i feel its already 15 years too late. BUT..."
>"halloween, costume parties, going out to rocky horror, etc. it feels so right, BUT..."
>"when i dress up it makes me want to be flirtatious with pretty much everyone, BUT..."
>"my friends all know i'm bi and none of them have a problem with it, BUT..."
>"i dont feel right running my hands over a man's body, BUT..."
>"i want to give them [men] pleasure, BUT..."
>"with women i can have that emotional intimacy, BUT..."

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As much as I feel that I would be more comfortable as a woman I really don't think its as simple as that. Not only do I not want to completely reshape every relationship I've formed over the last 30 years, I'm relatively certain that it would cost me my job. Getting my life together has been hard enough and I'm pretty well established, I don't want to have to start at the beginning all over again.

Plus you all act like the transition is free. I can barely make ends meet now, adding those costs and the risk of losing my livelihood and there is just no way.
I don't think that's the way for me to go.

>>6667350
Yes there are a lot of buts in my post.
I'm saying that both options offer me things I need, but neither one can cover all of them. For every point I can find is an equally compelling counterpoint.

>>6668997
Then you are evidently conflicted and should not make definite life changing decisions in this state.
Calm down, do something else, get a hobby. Come back to this later after you learn more about yourself.

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>>6667350
>tfw someone saves and reposts your oc

>>6670587
W-welcome to the internet?

>>6665694
you're an obvious repressed tranny, total textbook case

you face is masculinised sure but you jaw looks tapering in that pic which is a major plus
start HRT asap before any further damage is done, you won't regret it

>>6671365
/thread

>>6665694
an oven

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>>6669009
dude im in my 30s and this is not a new thing. ive been wrangling this bag of snakes as long as most of you have been alive.

>>6671365
as i've already said twice, once in my opening post, that isnt happening. if all i wanted was to know if i should, id have found the should i do it thread.

i'm hoping maybe someone might be experienced enough with similar issues to offer some insight as to what the fuck is up with me, and maybe offer some advice on coping.

>>6667289
>>6672599
you are a bag of dicks.

>>6672950
>what the fuck is up with me
you're a repressed tranny

>offer some advice on coping
transition or suicide, those are your only real options

I'm bi mtf and transitioned at 31.

Never had the urge to wear dresses. So I can't say if you have lingering fetish issues.

You can transition and have sense.
Don't be a hon and cannonball right into being a degenerate.

Push androgynous if full time scares you. You can definitely do boy mode as long as you need. If it fails, then that's what you wanted.

You can save for ffs and all that stuff while you take your time and go at your own pace.

DO NOT get impatient and think that you are out of time and "I just need to be me NOW!"
Don't be that hon. Take your time. You waited over 30 years. At least have sense if you are going to throw your existing life away.

>>6673966
Reasonable post.
OP should at least consider taking antiandrogens, so he does not getting more masculine over time.

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>>6665694
>mfw 22 and pretty much feel like this
>pretty much would press the shit out of a button making me female if there were no consequences
>don't hate my genitals though
>don't really know if it's just fetish creeping into my conscious mind or the other way around

I have a highly qualified job that pays well so money's not really a problem but I'm not sure i could bear HRT because it fucks with your mind, and that's what I use to work.
I hate that uncertainty but i feel like i don't know myself enough to make a decision.

I feel like it's the sort of things you go to a shrink for, but i'm in a country where they are not to be fucking trusted with tg and will actively try to repress that shit.
Meanwhile, i don't want to be pushed to do something life changing when my life is pretty alright aside from all that.

Being male doesn't bother me that much, but if i had a choice i wouldn't have picked that. So ehhhhhhh...

>>6672599
not with those shoulders he doesn't ;^)

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>>6673966
i have been kinda working on the androgynous thing, but i've been slacking on my yoga recently.
>>6674669
doesnt decreasing your primary hormones without replacing them fuck you up? and if not, tell me more....

>>6676761
yeah, i agree with all that green shit you said. as for the country, that's butts.

the way you guys talk about doing this shit so casually is really strange to me. i wonder if its as scary to everyone else as it is to me. or maybe its just where i live, i get the feeling that chicago is not the most supportive or accepting place i could be. with all the lgbt issues that have caught the public eye recently, ive had a good chance to see how the general populous feels about it. and it's not pretty, most people ive heard speak on the issue seem generally pissed that we exist at all.
i really hope thats just a chicago thing.

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>>6676778
wait what?

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>>6665694

Why are all the hons congregating on 4chan all of a sudden?

>>Susan's
>>Laura's
>>/asktg/

These are your homes, shoo hon shoo.

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>>6678309
i dont know, but i fail to see what that has to do with me or this thread. i was under the impression that a hon was the subject of a less than flattering transition, and if you had even bothered to read before replying you'd probably have noticed that part about me still being a guy and not having any intention to transition.

but what would i know, i'm just feeding the trolls.

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>>6678441

Hon is a state of mind. Anyone with a feminine-leaning gender identity who is comfortable being seen as a 'man-in-a-dress' is automatically a hon.

>>6678309
4ch is literally a hon nursery

>>6678500

>hon nursery

An excellent description, my man. I'll remember it for future use.

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>>6678498
So the fact that I don't hate being a man is bad? My willingness to accept the hand i was dealt makes me somehow lesser? By your definition that includes all crossdressers and most people with agp.
Are you sure you aren't just being a biggoted elitist twat because you don't like sharing your group with the unattractive? Because that's what it sounds like to me.
Over the last few posts its become pretty apparent that only pretty people are welcomed into the community and anyone who doesn't get the seal of approval is branded as gross and encouraged to gtfo. Not only is that some super exclusionary bullshit, but you should know better. Only a small minded piece of shit could hold that mentality in a place for those that are shunned by the rest of the population. It's like saying that bisexuals and tops aren't gay enough to be welcome.

you sound like a classic fetishistic straight man to me, phame

just keep being married to your wife barbara and fap in privacy so you don't lose your three kids brendan, chad and stacy in a war for custody tbqh

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>le uncomfortable yet slightly amused stare

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>>6672950
>>6680951
>unnecessary profanity
>defensive
>apologetic
>insecure
>aggressive toward innocent people whose only crime was disagreeing with you
umm you really don't think you come off even slightly feminine do you? just keep soiling your wife's panties and forget about the whole "transition" thing my man

>>6678498
What I want to be like young Sigourney Weaver?

>>6665694
>i'm super confused as to where i fit in
>m/32/bi
> lot of this trans talk really hits home
You're a bisexual trans woman.
>blah blah blah trans is scary
You're a bi trans woman who is trying to repress being a trans woman.
>>6665716
You're a bi trans woman who is trying to repress being a trans woman, and you have different preferences in regards to men and women.
>>6665765
You're a bi trans woman who is trying to repress being a trans woman, and you have different preferences in regards to men and women (which you over think).
>>6665802
You're a neurotic bi trans who is trying to repress being a trans woman, and you have different preferences in regards to men and women (which you over think).

>>6665694
You sound like a straight or possibly man that has some wierd views on cis and trans women. The feeling flirtatious and sexy all the time is definitely not a reality for any woman, cis or trans - it sounds like you're just fetishizing a woman's life. Don't transition, you said that you're fine with your body and the harsh reality of transition will hit you like a ton of bricks - it's not all being ~cute and flirty and pretty~. It also kills your sex drive and your thoughts seem purely fetishistic, so you're going to likely regret it.

>>6681942
I'm almost thankful for this thread because I've felt so much of these things that it really makes me not want to be them in 11 years. Better to start soon than to keep blowing it off until a decade goes by and I'm completely broken and convinced that I don't want what I obviously need.

>>6678309
What's the difference between a Susan's and an /lgbt/ user?

20 years

>>6665694
Didn't read you're post but yore obviously trans you should transition immediately.

>>6681969
Ah, but feeling flirtatious when dressing up and attending a social event is pretty natural.

>>6678309
>all of a sudden
mtfg has turned into a hon emporium in the last year